The Victim Mentality is Ruining Your Life

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
  • You need to stop playing the victim.
    Get exclusive content/1 on 1 sessions: / colehastings
    Locus of Control Tests:
    www.psychology...
    www.mindtools....
    ➤ My new self help book "The Middle Way" : seasonedtofu.c...
    ➤Buy it on Amazon (Paperback for International people): geni.us/POKRBU (Amazon)
    ➤Coaching Plans: seasonedtofu.c...
    #victimmentality #advice #selfhelp
    𝙎𝙪𝙗𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙚: bit.ly/2qiessH
    𝙎𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙨
    Instagram: / seasoned_tofu
    Twitter: / seasoned_tofu
    Twitch: / seasoned_tofu
    Podcast: seasonedtofu.c...
    Discord: / discord
    Facebook: / tofuseasoned
    𝙈𝙮 𝙂𝙚𝙖𝙧
    Camera: geni.us/vFiMPid (Amazon)
    Wide Lens: geni.us/yIwm (Amazon)
    Portrait Lens: geni.us/HmDu (Amazon)
    Microphone: geni.us/G6KIWX (Amazon)
    Tripod: geni.us/tkn0QlQ (Amazon)
    𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩
    Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I help people build themselves physically/mentally through fitness and self help videos.
    the victim mentality jordan peterson, the victim mindset ted talk, overcoming the victim mentality, the victim mentality psychology, feeling like the victim, victim mentality disorder, lose the victim mentality, victim thinking

Комментарии • 364

  • @MiketheNerdRanger
    @MiketheNerdRanger 2 года назад +123

    Note: "take accountability for whatever happens in your life" *DOES NOT* mean "blame yourself for everything that goes wrong." I never heard the actual message, which was "there is something you can do; all is not lost." I'll I heard was "its all your fault you guant fuck up!" I think once people can make this distinction, it'll be a lot easier to accept this advice.

    • @Kaykay8080-j6x
      @Kaykay8080-j6x Год назад +2

      Thank you! Before reading your comments, I always thought it the wrong way!

    • @Loveispainj
      @Loveispainj 9 месяцев назад +2

      There's always that one comment that has to water down the message to cater to the feelings smh

    • @MiketheNerdRanger
      @MiketheNerdRanger 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@Loveispainj I mean, do you just want to beat people over the head with needlessly brutal platitudes, or do you actually want to help people?

    • @Loveispainj
      @Loveispainj 9 месяцев назад

      @MiketheNerdRanger cry harder snowflake.. people like you made society weak.. always have to throw a lil sprinkle for someone's feelings.. it's OK to say things how they are.. but I understand your the feelings police

    • @Blappyboop
      @Blappyboop 8 месяцев назад

      @@MiketheNerdRangereverything you do in life is your fault. Stop trying to delude yourself into thinking you aren’t the problem

  • @splashingsage4167
    @splashingsage4167 3 года назад +187

    Life is a war but it’s mostly
    90% mental
    10% physical
    In my opinion
    We’re all gonna make it bruhs✊

    • @misstrunchbull3953
      @misstrunchbull3953 3 года назад

      Its all 100% and you are the one you described me on that day you were a good friend and I think a good day ✨ would have been good for me so thats what I 😳 for a while and I think a good day sir will have to say that would comfort you.

    • @abrahampalmer8761
      @abrahampalmer8761 3 года назад

      Right

    • @leeluvue8540
      @leeluvue8540 6 месяцев назад

      Thanks bruh 🫡🙌

  • @Ianhawaii10
    @Ianhawaii10 3 года назад +191

    Nothing is worse in a partner than someone who always plays the victim and every story they tell they were the victim. I used to play into this as an empathetic person, but now it's just a huge turn off when someone ALWAYS acts like a victim.

    • @SamMartinPeakPerformance
      @SamMartinPeakPerformance 3 года назад +7

      Amen to that

    • @bluwater1422
      @bluwater1422 3 года назад +17

      It b a legit turn off when a some grown adults is immature & not take ownership & responsibility 4 they own actions especially when they in relationships with they significant other & it's not a good idea 2 play victim when in relationships cuz it destroys relationships & people that choose 2 play the victim role dont need 2 b in a relationship with nobody when they should b by theyselves & do some growing up & work on theyselves & have them a hint of integrity

    • @itsez1129
      @itsez1129 3 года назад +4

      @@bluwater1422 "not take ownership & responsibility"
      Exactly, part of the reason why I don't want a relationship.

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 2 месяца назад

      Yeeeh🎉😊

  • @ajtaylor8750
    @ajtaylor8750 3 года назад +223

    This society stresses being a victim to the point that they'll reward you for being one, but it only causes long-term damage because you give up on life and tell yourself you lack any internal locus of control.

    • @bluwater1422
      @bluwater1422 3 года назад +15

      Playing the role of a victim says that "I dont have control over my life" & it also says that theres no self control involved which is very dangerous & it's sad @ the same time

    • @misstrunchbull3953
      @misstrunchbull3953 3 года назад +4

      The whole time to time this was a good thing for us all over tiktok we have been in a man credit card and it was a very good time to time and I prefer to do that as a whole lot more work than we can do that is a good thing for me.

    • @therighteousmind6708
      @therighteousmind6708 3 года назад +6

      Depression, Introversion, playing victim card is WOKE on internet

    • @Mike-wb3oc
      @Mike-wb3oc 2 года назад +5

      @@therighteousmind6708 Ah yes calling out oppression is somehow bad.Theres a difference between playing the victim card and actually being a victim.

    • @MDT92
      @MDT92 2 года назад +1

      @@Mike-wb3oc But even then, what will that bring to you?
      While there will definitely be some ppl who can understand your problems, most of them are really just close Friends you've been knowing since Birth, but the thing is that neither of these is supposed to be present in life-changing events of your life.
      For Example, your Parents play a huge role in changing your life as in they play a huge role in educating you for when you'll be a grown Man and you'll have to take responsibility for yourself, but once their education spurt is over, it's up to YOU to learn from what they've teached you to be independent and start looking over your life.
      They will always love you regardless of what happens to you, sure, but they physically can't be the one to grant you a job, a car, or a house to sleep into, and even if they can do those things, it will only be for as long as they live, once they'll die, everything's up in your hands.
      Heck, even people with Rich parents working over a personal activity who gave them heritage need to take Responsibility for their actions, beacuse no matter how Rich you are, something goes wrong in whatever job you're specialized into and your life is done.
      For Example, there are many drivers in F1 that are drivers manily beacuse of their retired dads, but still it's up to them to work out and get a driving license.
      as far as people go, they just don't care about you and your problems and that's facts. Then ofc, there maybe will be some exceptions sometimes in high school, or middle school or even College, but as a fully grown man?
      Soon as you hit 18, you and only you can be the artifice of your own life.
      All the people you'll meet from then on, your "colleagues", they will only stand you as long as you keep hiding under a social Mask of their construct that keeps everyone from truly expressing one's feelings over the other, they will only be your friends as long as you do as they say, wear what they want you to wear, do what they want you to do at their disposal, and constantly try and challenge you to see if you're up to their game and can result as useful to them, especially if they know you ain't about that life, and the funny thing is that these are the same ppl you'll be forced to have relationships with by society, go out with, to even put a smile on your face and pretend to have a fun time to them altho your definition of fun is completely different, and you already know who your true friends are.
      Soon as you do a wrong step, you will be judged and your life can go from 0 to 100 real quick, beacuse in all things that matter, you won't have your friends or parents doing them to you, so does acting like a victim instead of working out on yourself to earn your freedom and self respect really work out? I don't think so....
      One must always learn to have some sort of self respect even when things go bad and they must not give up fighting against injustices for as long as they live, then if they cannot make it...well, I'm sorry, but Joker said it best "they're only as good as the world allows them to be.
      See, when the Chips are down, these civilized people....they'll eat each other".

  • @SeanLunny
    @SeanLunny 3 года назад +124

    “This is on you man” so true. It is this extreme ownership that is the way to win. At the end of the day all the excuse making is just taking away from the time you could be taking action and getting better.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +8

      Facts, youve got it figured out

    • @itsez1129
      @itsez1129 3 года назад

      Yea, knowing this is the easy part.

    • @iamzay4938
      @iamzay4938 2 года назад

      @@itsez1129 most people live their lives not knowing they have a victim’s mentality subconsciously.

    • @itsez1129
      @itsez1129 2 года назад

      @@iamzay4938 Exactly, especially the elderly. In the end doing the opposite of what you have been doing so far is hard

  • @ansh4223
    @ansh4223 3 года назад +462

    DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM TO CIRCUMSTANCES YOU CREATED.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +48

      That's the key. Some things you can't control and it's important to control how you react to it, but even more important is if you created the circumstances you're in and you're still playing victim

    • @bluwater1422
      @bluwater1422 3 года назад +3

      It's a fact & I already learned that lesson 4 myself 2

    • @misstrunchbull3953
      @misstrunchbull3953 3 года назад +4

      I agree bro the fact is the fact asinine is a woman who has been in a position to be able for her and she is a good day and I will not have time for the night of the point where my brain will not get into my hands on the computer and then move to the new year to the ballot boxes.

    • @itsez1129
      @itsez1129 3 года назад +3

      Exactly, for that reason I just accept the cards life gave me and roll with it.

    • @Hannah-vx5tf
      @Hannah-vx5tf 3 года назад +5

      It's EZ I envy you it’s hard for me but I know am going to make it

  • @LifeRevised
    @LifeRevised 3 года назад +112

    That victim mentality is an easy trap to slip into. It took me years to realize that I had fallen into it. Everything in my life was happening at me, and I convinced myself that's just the way it works, not much I can do about it. I think we choose this mindset because it requires minimal effort and little explanation. When things aren't our fault it's a lot easier to feel unbothered by it. Love the video, super cool b roll, and an amazing lesson.

    • @Yaniv2434
      @Yaniv2434 3 года назад +8

      Same and I also think it’s because the entitlement that we used to have as kids so as a parent you need to teach your child responsibility

    • @agentblackbird9435
      @agentblackbird9435 2 года назад +5

      Same. I’m realizing just now and I’m really upset about it. Im upset about how I’ve unintentionally hurt others around me because of if

    • @kittencutie7074
      @kittencutie7074 Год назад +4

      Yeah agree... Taking responsibility and admitting your fault takes a ton of mental energy, saying I can't help it and playing victim and doing nothing is just way way easier

  • @MamaSwole
    @MamaSwole 3 года назад +83

    I’m really happy that you found & realized your passions bc you’re helping me & so many other people with them

  • @avilovsky8369
    @avilovsky8369 3 года назад +47

    I realized that these kind of videos make me feel like they helped me, but then when the situation really arises i keep doing the same thing I did before and end up in a bad situation. And the real learning comes exactly at this bad situation, cause what actually teaches us is pain and the analysis of why that happened. And analysis can be done properly only after watching these type of videos. Shortly, what I am trying to say is that we really need these videos, but also we need smth bad to happen to us to actually start changing. It’s foolish to think that we get better immediately after watching 10 min youtube video. It’s more of a slow process i think.

  • @EvanArgenal
    @EvanArgenal 3 года назад +108

    Man I have been stuck in this mindset for so long and had a similar situation to you (taking computer science in uni). Now that I’m graduating soon, I’ve learned that the 9-5 lifestyle is NOT for me at all. Taking control and self awareness was what I needed to get out of the victim mindset, and your videos shed light to that nicely. Keep up the videos man, they are truly inspiring!

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +4

      Thanks Evan!

    • @StealthTheUnknown
      @StealthTheUnknown 2 года назад

      If you’re not grinding an 9-9, how do you even afford to live in today’s economy?

    • @BadBoy93143
      @BadBoy93143 2 года назад +5

      I live that 9-5 lifestyle and the worst thing is that sometimes I can't even afford a decent living standard maybe you need a good attitude in life and that helps but also we know for a fact that the socioeconomic system today is totally rigged.

  • @sussuhimself
    @sussuhimself 3 года назад +52

    Take responsibility .

  • @akbevibin
    @akbevibin 3 года назад +143

    Your on the come up, keep going.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +8

      Thank you bro 🙏

    • @Bacon6447
      @Bacon6447 3 года назад

      Yo AK what's up

    • @misstrunchbull3953
      @misstrunchbull3953 3 года назад +1

      Please let us life advice should you need help you can always be the right person for your business hoppin and I hope that I will not get you started with the very least

  • @attaboitroy5050
    @attaboitroy5050 3 года назад +20

    Once you start taking accountability, everything changes

  • @indiadelon8771
    @indiadelon8771 2 года назад +15

    This caused a major problem in my relationship. I'm working on not playing the victim anymore.. I didn't even know I was doing it.

  • @mais5762
    @mais5762 3 года назад +53

    I live in mexico and I always blame the fact that living in a third world country will not let me fully develop as a product designer (not labor). F*ck that victim mentality! This depends on me and this world is big enough to find new opportunities. Thanks for the video.

  • @drowzee6076
    @drowzee6076 3 года назад +25

    I used to think being hard on myself was such a bad thing. But I realized it made life a lot easier for me actually

  • @marcosferreira546
    @marcosferreira546 3 года назад +13

    I actually read about this idea from a book called SUMO (shut up, move on) where it touches upon having control of the outcome.
    Victims mentality is Event = outcome
    Whereas it should be Event + Response = outcome.

  • @carpo719
    @carpo719 2 года назад +10

    I'm very fortunate to have learned this young and carried it with me for my whole life. Never play the victim. Even when you are.
    One important thing is never to define success as making money or selling a product. Success is all in the eye of the beholder and has to do with happiness and contentedness
    I'm glad you made it out of that mindset that you are just an average person, there is no such thing. We create our reality..

    • @SagemaGrindset1894
      @SagemaGrindset1894 Год назад +1

      "Never play the victim. Even when you are one." there's something about this that i really like, that i wish i had heard it sooner like maybe years earlier. It's like opening the eyes of someone who's hit rock bottom that there's *always* something we could do, while at the same time absolutely acknowledging that what happened to us (that may or may not be our fault) is downright unpleasant, distasteful and discouraging and that we deserve to feel sad about it, let it out, and move on. That's going in the quote book 💯👍. nice one.

  • @helle9075
    @helle9075 2 года назад +5

    I think what is important is to learn how to take accountability for our actions, but also understand when the blame is on other people. We are in control of how we take action and behave around people, but still, it doesn't mean that we should accept everything that comes for us and act like everything is our own fault. If People are mean and treat you badly that is their action, but if you react back in a mean way, that is your action

  • @Finn-bx1eb
    @Finn-bx1eb 3 года назад +5

    man did i need to hear this today. i’ve been perpetuating unhealthy situations by placing the blame on all those around me. "well if you would’ve said that i wouldn’t have, well if you weren’t so xyz.." etc etc. sometimes a reminder is what we need to learn and grow. appreciated and love your content. keep it up

  • @jeffgallardo3242
    @jeffgallardo3242 3 года назад +5

    No one will save you, you are the one that can change yourself.

  • @am151.6
    @am151.6 3 года назад +11

    Your videos have honestly made me feel so much better. My girlfriend dumped me eight days ago and i've been on a mission to improve my life, i'm also a college athlete but I want to be better in performance academics and just quality of life. Changing my perception for the better has been my long term goal. Your videos have been extremely helpful with this.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +3

      Very very glad I can help bro. Keep killing it

    • @daryl9799
      @daryl9799 3 года назад +2

      Take time for yourself bro a new relationship won't solve your problems ive been down that road fix yourself first. Im 44 ive learned this way to late.

  • @seraphica6539
    @seraphica6539 3 года назад +13

    I have had this mindset for most of my life (although I am only 16 so I am still quite young) and throughout my early years I had always exhibited this mentality without even realizing it. I would always blame my circumstances rather than myself for situations I created. Although I have not completely rid myself of this mentality, I think I am in a better place because now I am aware of how my actions and projection of my issues will affect me in the long run. I really want to be a better, happier version of myself and I must come to terms with the fact that I can't blame my circumstances for the results that I get, but rather my actions.

    • @kittykins9571
      @kittykins9571 Год назад +1

      Same! I'm fifteen, but I'm working on changing my similar mindset💪

    • @jaijai4710
      @jaijai4710 25 дней назад

      Same bro! Let's work together

  • @aidanspradlin9204
    @aidanspradlin9204 3 года назад +5

    Bro every one of this dudes posts are so relatable I’ve never seen a youtube I connect with more then cole!!! Keep up the good work bro

  • @ValiantSkyRider720
    @ValiantSkyRider720 3 года назад +16

    Life advice: Next time you get "bullied", reflect on your own actions and behavior that could've provoked it in the first place and admit it instead of jumping to conclusions. You must stop playing the victim and accept responsibility for your actions, because absolutely no one in this world will be handing you asspats.

    • @raqui174
      @raqui174 Год назад +3

      Well we can’t control ppl and how they view us..accepting the fact that there some assholes in life will alleviate feeling that is all your fault

    • @briar2603
      @briar2603 Год назад +2

      how do you do this without feeling the need to severely harm yourself and then severely harming yourself
      actually how do you do any part of this whole blame yourself thing without wanting to hurt yourself??? i just feel like it somehow manages to make me fall into the victim mindset even more especially when i make another mistake and bad things just continue to happen what am i doing wrong??????

    • @ashantythegreat3231
      @ashantythegreat3231 10 месяцев назад +3

      Bullying is not only name calling. And even that is harmful. I hate this funding mentality, hweb people blame others for their own actions. You bullied someone, just because you don't like shit or someone, it don't mean you bully them.
      I was bullied for lots of shit I DIDN'T have control over. Like my ETHICITY and LOOKS. I don't know how you can shame bullying victims.
      Half of them suicide, so instead of shaming them, educate others to be normal human beings. Which means not causing pain to others.
      I didn't deserve bullying myself, but bullying has brought EDs, self hate and more to me. Unconsciously.
      Now I am damaged by bullying, and while am trying my best to recover. I was the victim. It doesn't mean I was wrong.
      Abuse: both physical and mental. Bullying is abuse towards another human being. Check on your mindset.

    • @Amber-yu2ph
      @Amber-yu2ph 5 месяцев назад +1

      some people bully you for no reason.

    • @Amber-yu2ph
      @Amber-yu2ph 5 месяцев назад

      @@ashantythegreat3231 exactly.disliking someone doesn't give you the right to disrespect them

  • @parkerrish9024
    @parkerrish9024 3 года назад +24

    People gotta man the f up! Everything that happens to you is your responsibility to do something about it. Great content. You are 100 percent in control of your future

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад

      Thanks Parker

    • @bluwater1422
      @bluwater1422 3 года назад

      True I agree but @ the same time females also have 2 mature 2 & quit playing the role of a victim

  • @billbrasky8525
    @billbrasky8525 3 года назад +3

    Fantastic upload. I haven't a clue how old you actually are but you're helping this 33 year old immensely. 👊🏼

  • @nightmaredeep0807
    @nightmaredeep0807 3 года назад +4

    The most underrated content creator that I have seen. Keep up the good work and thank you for this video.

  • @jruss7970
    @jruss7970 3 года назад +6

    your channel is absolutely amazing and your stories are extremely relatable, your channel is definitely up next bro keep grinding

  • @amnesiac5429
    @amnesiac5429 3 года назад +7

    You are saving lives man good job

  • @4luka824
    @4luka824 9 месяцев назад +1

    You are the only youtuber that i watch that i can see having a true friendship with,and i do not mean it in a parasocial digital context to make it clear.

  • @benzomike
    @benzomike 6 месяцев назад +1

    I appreciate the fact that the guy took the time to break it down the way the real truth is.

  • @madhurshinde4988
    @madhurshinde4988 3 года назад +3

    the confidence you exhibit truly inspires me to do something good in life

  • @reallifepsych3309
    @reallifepsych3309 3 года назад +9

    happy Monday everyone!

  • @Revv10K
    @Revv10K 3 года назад +9

    Thank u for making this video. So many people always play the victim

  • @Bruh-ty5ql
    @Bruh-ty5ql 3 года назад +3

    I can tell the quality of your videos has been improving, keep up the good work man!

  • @xMckingwill
    @xMckingwill 3 года назад +18

    Got to admit this is kinda hard for me since I was unfortunately was born with a disability ( Muscular Dystrophy). Although I don't typically let this situation get to me but it comes through sometimes.

    • @ColeHastings
      @ColeHastings  3 года назад +17

      Totally understand brother and it's okay to feel this way. Don't let it overpower you though. Tell your story about it and tell people how you don't let it control you. You'll inspire a lot of people dealing with something similar! You're stronger than that shit 💪

    • @xMckingwill
      @xMckingwill 3 года назад +4

      @@ColeHastings thanks for that!!

  • @jimbeaux89
    @jimbeaux89 3 года назад +1

    Beautifully said, my friend. I’m afraid that with so many people playing the victim, is ailing our society.

  • @igex.reigns5350
    @igex.reigns5350 3 года назад +6

    Perfect time for releasing this vid!

  • @MilesLeslie
    @MilesLeslie 3 года назад +14

    “97% of people in the world work for the 3% who didn’t quit”. Moral of the story don’t ever give up on your goals and aspirations❤️ I believe in you‼️

  • @gnomali53
    @gnomali53 3 года назад +2

    Bro this man never misses with his edits bro your edits are so good🔥🔥💪🏽

  • @jaijai4710
    @jaijai4710 25 дней назад

    I was spoiled. Kinda still a victim but now I know that I am spoiled. I'm trying my best to have better behavior and interact with people the correct way(manners, selflessness, confidence, etc.)

  • @SwarmHost96
    @SwarmHost96 Год назад +3

    I GOT CANCER AND I AM IN CONTROL

  • @workinprogress0123
    @workinprogress0123 3 года назад +4

    Dude, believe me or not, just Before I clicked on this video, I was fully stressed about my career. I am from a middle class family, and well, unfortunate to say, we can't afford a too much elite college, and that was hitting me hard, I was just thinking again and again to myself "will you spend your next 40 years of life doing something you don't even enjoy doing?"
    And yeah, thanks for reminding that things don't happen to me, what I do make things happen.

  • @pen2009
    @pen2009 3 года назад +11

    I really need to stop relying on victim mentality, it's legit destroying my life atm ... :( at least I'm acknowledging this now.

  • @hootpuff
    @hootpuff 3 года назад +7

    Awesome topics as always! Love your videos!

  • @echarts3710
    @echarts3710 2 года назад +4

    ''It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It's you. Okay? It's you.''

  • @ReflectionRF
    @ReflectionRF 3 года назад +5

    1:25 Resonated with me the most. I always look up to professional gamers and think, man they are so big brained, I would never be able to be as good as them, but they're human just like me, so I don't see why I wouldn't be able to reach their level.

  • @isaacwinters6954
    @isaacwinters6954 3 года назад +7

    Locus of Control (LOC) is an interesting concept. However, even with it's binary nature. Having too much of one or the other could be a bad thing.
    Someone who has an External Locus of Control may feel that they are not in control of life. But can also be someone who's more "go with the flow." While those with an Internal Locus of Control may feel in control of their circumstances. Yet bear down on themselves for being responsible for everything that happens.
    It was Todd V, a PUA, who offered another perspective. Have an Internal LOC when it comes to successes, and an External LOC for failures. So long as you're willing to learn from failures and take action to change whatever is required to ensure a success going forward.
    A recent test had shown that I was on the cusp of being split down the middle. But leaned towards an Internal LOC. All in all I would rather lean towards an Internal LOC. But leave some room to allow for the chaos that is life.

  • @xNIKEGOLFx
    @xNIKEGOLFx 3 года назад +2

    Wish there was more people like you my man we see the world very similar! 🙌🙌

  • @ZenMaster77777
    @ZenMaster77777 3 года назад +3

    Exactly what i needed right now, thank you cole

  • @tomijessen9777
    @tomijessen9777 3 года назад +1

    Good one man. Thanks. I don’t like the self help topic but I do appreciate the encouragement for self development

  • @alex_georgescu
    @alex_georgescu 3 года назад +1

    So grateful I discovered your channel.

  • @ValiantSkyRider720
    @ValiantSkyRider720 3 года назад +7

    People with victim mentalities are very prone to misinterpreting harmless teasing as "bullying" and refuse to admit that.

    • @MNcoquicoqui
      @MNcoquicoqui 2 года назад +1

      🎯💯👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • @chefswamprat5118
      @chefswamprat5118 Год назад

      If the teasing is in the same style as the abuse suffered by the one misinterpreting, all that would be needed is openness about why that "brand" of teasing is harmful, to dispel any feelings of perceived malevolence. Problem is, yeah, most with victim mentalities hang onto it so tight the teasing leads them to eventually think the worst.

  • @nicholasjayres
    @nicholasjayres 3 года назад +6

    Cole you can read my mind lol this is something I've been struggling with for days now

  • @emelsonjayordanez1713
    @emelsonjayordanez1713 3 года назад +2

    Hey Cole, keep on doing these kind of videos. You really are a inspiration for us. God bless you brother!

  • @michaelcanabarro176
    @michaelcanabarro176 3 года назад +1

    Love the message and the video! Also the b-roll was amazing, even though it wasnt directly related to the message it was so cool how you used it to make the text interesting

  • @c3po-352
    @c3po-352 3 года назад +1

    sometimes I thinking my mood is the effect of all the causes in my environment but in other times I think my mood/energy is the result of the choice I made....
    Semen retention causes ...;)... this Switch in thinking: You got the choice... you are not just the product of your environment/circumstances!

  • @spedupsongs222
    @spedupsongs222 2 года назад

    he needs a podcast i'd listen every time good work Cole!

  • @makzwell
    @makzwell 3 года назад +5

    Hey man! I've been watching all your videos recently (I've found that your circumstances are very similar to mine, even down to the break ups and the computer science major LOL), but I just wanna say I really appreciate having your videos as an outlet to let me know that how I'm feeling isn't just a "temporary mindset", but rather a mindset of how my life will be from now on. Keep up the good work.
    Also, unrelated, (I'm going to sound SUPER uneducated on this topic because I am), but I really like you add in text on the screen that almost looks like it's on the walls in the shot. What program do you use to edit?

  • @windowsxboxguy
    @windowsxboxguy 3 года назад +61

    Being born into poverty isn't your fault, dying in poverty is

    • @briar2603
      @briar2603 Год назад +1

      ...children

    • @chefswamprat5118
      @chefswamprat5118 Год назад +1

      Not if you live in Louisiana. Too easy to go to jail, too *expensive to get out. (*expensive in both money and time spent)🤣

    • @windowsxboxguy
      @windowsxboxguy Год назад +1

      @@chefswamprat5118 I’d have to disagree. If immigrants can travel across many countries with nothing but the clothes on their back and make it to the US or other first world countries and turn their lives around, why can’t Americans travel across state borders to areas with more opportunities. If you want to change your life it won’t happen by staying where you are and hoping someone will save you.

    • @chefswamprat5118
      @chefswamprat5118 Год назад

      @@windowsxboxguy Agreed, in most cases, however finances can be a hindrance to any chance in location, as well as if there any legal entanglements keeping you where you are, like if someone is on probation or parole.

    • @chefswamprat5118
      @chefswamprat5118 Год назад

      @@windowsxboxguy It's not as always easy as "just leaving" if you don't like it somewhere.

  • @Jennifer-ls5ke
    @Jennifer-ls5ke 8 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this. It’s compassionate and self aware. Most videos about victims are very judgemental. This is one isn’t and offers insight. Thanks.

  • @blankearth5840
    @blankearth5840 Год назад +1

    “Blame no one, set people straight if you can. If not, just repair the damage.” -Marcus Aurelius

  • @tedlovejesus
    @tedlovejesus 3 года назад +1

    appreciate your creativity in the editing 👍🏼

  • @123456nusha12345
    @123456nusha12345 3 года назад +1

    It's uncanny how similar this video is with where I am at now... In my teenage years , I had no internal drive of being goal oriented, all of them were what people around me wanted me to deliver and I more or less did, took up a Compsci degree thinking it would be a good financial decision for my future years, then DS & algo happened, and was considering a switch to CogScience for a while now and this video happens. This has to be a sign.

  • @NightOrchids
    @NightOrchids 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this Cole.. Ive sub.df.... Im struggl;ing with a victim mentality right now.. because I was bullied at school and struggle with self worth and have a lot of fear inside so theres quite alot of things I never got to do in my younger years because of fear, but taking responsibility for my thoughts and being accountable for myself and my life as a man by knowing Im choosing this and that Iam ultimately in control of everything WITHIN me... was a big eye opener for me.. So thank you for this great video and best wishes :)

  • @okkaisei
    @okkaisei 3 года назад +1

    I’m glad I stumbled across ur channel still remember the first vid I saw I’m excited to see ur channel grow

  • @mistybloom4762
    @mistybloom4762 2 года назад +3

    I’ve been feeling resentment towards my mum for a while, this made me forgive her

  • @chazzabrookdaddy6520
    @chazzabrookdaddy6520 3 года назад +3

    Mate I generally feel that when I’m in a tricky situation you show up and give me that push 😅, I commented on the ‘why discipline is ruining your life’ and that motivated me and now this has given me a push, keep striving me, we’re all growing with you

  • @lucasm4299
    @lucasm4299 10 дней назад

    Most wealthy individuals come from wealthy families. It’s good to be accountable but also good to know that this world isn’t a perfect meritocracy. You need luck and perseverance to go through otherwise you may go crazy out of frustration on not reaching your full potential

  • @GameHub1-
    @GameHub1- Год назад +1

    I believe in stoicism. you can't change what has happened to you. but you can change the way you act now. in return that can control life, but humble yourself, because the universe is bigger than you, and it is not guaranteed

    • @SMCwasTaken
      @SMCwasTaken 8 месяцев назад

      And do not be ashamed of using coping mechanisms

  • @GiovanniDeluxxe
    @GiovanniDeluxxe 3 года назад +1

    You give me SNEAKO vibes. nice video bro just subbed

  • @Limonada_RC
    @Limonada_RC 3 года назад

    Man, You really need More subscribers, your content really helpful, I say in serious, salut from Panamá Bro.

  • @JLchevz
    @JLchevz 3 года назад

    The important bit about all this is that the only way we can grow as persons, keep a calm mindset and focus on things ahead is to stop blaming everything on circumstances and stay arms crossed waiting for things to improve by themselves; and start taking responsibility for our lives, accept things as they come and use that as best we can. Taking accountability for our own lives DOES NOT mean we will become rich nor successful, but it makes it so that no matter what happens, we know we will be alright without suffering because of "circumstances" or whatever life throws at us. So it's in our best interest to not play the victim card, ever. BUT we can't guarantee outcomes, focusing on outcomes is only gonna make us suffer more (being fixated on outcomes).

  • @DorcasGolden-ld6lf
    @DorcasGolden-ld6lf 5 месяцев назад

    We love you too ❤️❤️❤️
    Thank you so much for this message 🥰🥰

  • @johnmoore3635
    @johnmoore3635 3 года назад +4

    A lot of the poor tend to play the victim card by making out the successful people to be the villain, hence being destined to be poor

  • @admtech69
    @admtech69 9 месяцев назад

    Very enlightening video. Good content. I have shared your video with my kids!

  • @willjm9752
    @willjm9752 3 года назад +2

    I don’t agree with you on this victim mentality bit, for the most part. It fails to account for people who our evil (vicious) who manage to destroy important aspects of one’s life. Some examples: the destruction of a career, the loss of love, the loss of friendship, the loss of money, etc. I’m talking about lost values that cannot be replaced, and the permanent damage done to an individual. Certain people are not producers, they are destroyers. They are the nihilists among us.

  • @Rafael081296
    @Rafael081296 3 года назад

    My new favorite channel! Killing it bro, you remind me of Better Ideas & Captain Sinbad!

  • @bluwater1422
    @bluwater1422 3 года назад +9

    B a mature adult & learn 2 take responsibility & ownership 4 our own actions whether the outcome is bad or good even if the outcome is bad & it happens that somebody regrets it still take responsibility & not b playing victim cuz of regrets that's all I'm saying & I already learned this lesson 4 myself

  • @jajac5280
    @jajac5280 3 года назад +1

    My boy should have 1 mil subscribers

  • @blankearth5840
    @blankearth5840 Год назад +1

    You’re not the problem, you are the solution.

  • @XdgamehackerXd
    @XdgamehackerXd 3 года назад

    You putting out good energy making us put out good energy coming back to u as good energy stokes

  • @chiaramerlo9746
    @chiaramerlo9746 3 года назад +1

    What a wonderful art gallery

  • @ARAVIBANU
    @ARAVIBANU 3 года назад +12

    The problem is we are still in this trap of creating excuses from the past upon present failures!

    • @kittencutie7074
      @kittencutie7074 Год назад +2

      Especially with these videos 10 signs of narcissistic friend, 10 sign of trauma so then people can fall into the mentality of I'm suffering because I have narcissistic friend, because of trauma, because of this and that and not my fault and therefore I cannot change ot

    • @ashantythegreat3231
      @ashantythegreat3231 10 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@kittencutie7074 trauma is not a excuse. As someone with it, don't belittle it and the affect it carries. Using it against others is not OK, but trauma is something not everyone recovers from or has control over. Respect mental health please.

  • @PkmnTCG615
    @PkmnTCG615 3 года назад +1

    Damn you uploaded this at the right time. I needed this to wake me up and realize I gotta stop feeling like such a victim.

  • @mariagu2602
    @mariagu2602 2 года назад

    thank you so much cole.
    I know I have this mentality and I havent been aware of it for so long.

  • @MachalijusIV
    @MachalijusIV 3 года назад +6

    Is it weird that most of the time i feel (and know) that it´s me who´s responsible for all my failures yet i can´t force myself out of it? As if i was stuck in myself, not being able to overcome, well, myself... It feels like laziness but in a form of sickness, I can´t push it away.

    • @Yaniv2434
      @Yaniv2434 3 года назад +1

      I kinda feel like it too. I try to take small steps and actions tho cause it helps

  • @KARINA29534
    @KARINA29534 2 года назад

    Your content is so helpful. Thank you, Cole 😘💖🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @justsparky8822
    @justsparky8822 3 года назад

    Don’t let anyone tell you what your destiny should be, you decide how your life will play out no one else can.

  • @zodiacsigns9336
    @zodiacsigns9336 3 года назад +3

    Fuck that insecure shit.Victim mentality is the worst enemy.You're amazing bro.Big success coming your way😄

  • @soccom8341576
    @soccom8341576 2 года назад +2

    Victim status has to be acknowledged, not ignored. Ignorance is the surefire way to be stuck.

  • @JFraza
    @JFraza 3 года назад

    Really needed this today. Much appreciation for your content :)

  • @Nizati
    @Nizati 3 года назад

    For the most part, fully agree... But... there's a huge 'be realistic' part of it that's kind of lacking from this. I wanted to be a nurse, I went to nursing school, payed a big chunk of that with my own money, aced all the tests.. But... I found myself overwealmed. I didn't have the focus needed to do all the tasks that were necessary of me. I crashed. I attempted 3 times and failed all 3. I had to accept I was not in a mental headspace where I could be a nurse back then. I was depressed, exhausted, and needed to work very hard at myself in alot of other areas to get where I am now (i'm working in medical administration, which is close enough).
    What I'm trying to say is: there will be things you very Literally cannot do due to your circumstances. BUT, you Can learn, you Can adapt, and you Can eventually reach that goal, albeit maybe in some round-about way. Knowing when to stop, step back, and look at how you're tackling the barriers in your life can be the difference between being satisfied or being miserable.

  • @LudoviKush
    @LudoviKush 3 года назад

    Thank you Cole, I really enjoy your videos. You have been really inspiring for me. Bless 👏🏻

  • @frank480
    @frank480 2 года назад

    A human is BOTH a subject acting on objects AND an object being acted upon by other subjects. Real growth happens when we have a realistic perspective on what is our fault and what is not and accept or reject responsibility accordingly.

  • @rossdurden
    @rossdurden 3 года назад

    This is fucking great. It's just what I needed to hear man, thank you. And thats some awesome editing too.

  • @buaybuay1857
    @buaybuay1857 3 года назад

    That's a great thing to listen to and help a lot of people like me

  • @lordmeistersexy
    @lordmeistersexy 3 года назад +2

    hahahaha oh my fucking god. it felt like u str8 up told my teen story. I was just like fkn that. being kinda nervous around people but blaming reality for just being shitty, instead of catching up by myself looool oh man that felt so awkward. thx for this sick sick video dude !!!