This is so profound! I’m getting more and more aware of the ego’s tendency to complain in every day life. With every complain you install a small entity of victimhood. If you stop complaining and listen to other people who are still doing it, you can sometimes feel the impulse to add your own story, because it is kind of a competition who suffered the most.
I became so much freer when I discovered I am not a victim...it's not personal. I forgive a lot quicker Set healthy boundaries. Love without being involved...it feels good. Yes, there are times I still hurt from perceived slights but not as deeply or as long.
Me too ! I discovered I'm not the center of the world. Things happen but it may not be because of me. Sometimes what happens is the direct result of my actions and words, even if initially I did not intend them to have that kind of results. An incredible teaching.
Yes forgiveness is more for us, not them. It can have nothing to do with them. It's not letting them get away with it. It's letting *us* get away *from* it.
Yes. We tend to form addictions to avoid our emotional injuries. We are literally addicted to our pain & suffering! Almost to get sympathy or empathetic energy from others.
To the person reading this: THANK YOU for being here and adding value to our world 💖 Hope you have a blessed day filled with joy, happiness, health and love! 💖
Also I wish the best for you and beloved ones. You are right, everybody is reading that is a nice person and deserves to enjoy life (excepting the boss who fired me 7 months ago!)
This video is so important! I was just meditating on this. Yes, we’ve all been victims to something but to maintain a victim mentality is very debilitating. When repressed memories surface it’s brutal but videos like this and your books help to reprogram into useful energy. Thank you so much for all you do and share it has impacted my life in a massively positive way. 🙏
I see myself so clearly in this ego identification of victimhood. Anger is the thing that switches off awareness and has led me into the victim state and blaming others for everything wrong in my life. Thankyou Ekhart.
Hi Echkart ! YOU have been the master to me for 4 years now ! If I had not found You on RUclips by accident, I am not sure I had been able to live my life being present ! I went through a horrible suffering for many years, fighting my ego ! I am gratefull to You for Sending out all Your healing talks and meditations! Namaste !❤
I have also experienced some emotional abuse from my parents as a child that I still need to fully heal from… it’s not easy but it’s possible…I wish you all the best 💋
I suffer cause i think i shouldn’t live happy while there are children suffering this stuff! I feel guilty as a person who cant and doesnt do anything to help in this problematic. I really hope you fully heal, how have you been doing? Are you capable of love and happiness nowadays? Anyway i can help you let me know. Big hug!
@@luckyPiston You know, I hadn't thought about it that way before. Maybe. And tbh, it's not like that was a total "cure" either. I still struggle with living in the present and being conscious (as we all do). Anyway, it helped. Thank you for that question.✌️😊
@@LilyRose-theOne It certainly wasn't easy. It took being away from them for many years. I was able to look at them with empathy for what was done to them. Also remembering the things they taught me (both good and bad) and that they made me see how strong I actually am. It was just such a burden to carry the anger for so long. This all sounds very egoic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing when you're healing from it. 🤷 I wish you well in finding your way. 💜
@@StephanieJeanne He talks about the victim being in a power struggle with the abuser, so the victim needs to recover from being taken over. So if the abuser is acting from a place of extreme selfishness and greed then they are indulging in a perverse form of pleasure. So when you forgive, are you forgiving the act or the mental state the abuser was in ?
Every ego identity is a delusion. Determining who you are from victimization by others is not who you are. To stop being a victim it is important to determine who you are without it and continue to grow from there. I love this video.
There are states that use this collective victimhood and inflict suffering to other communities continously ! And this results of course in a vicious cycle of aggression , pain and injustice . Everyone suffers in the end. This is the evil power of the ego . Ego is extremely dangerous . I wish that all humans would become conscious of that. Thank you for all your teachings 🙏
I once read a phrase “the pride of the worm” which catches me sometimes when I identify with bewailing my woes. Beautiful explanation 🙏🏻 I often ask myself if I have fallen back into learned helplessness which is such a delusion.
The ego is intrinsically weak as it subsists solely on a diet of fear! The need to feel superior to others, by whatever means, no matter how petty or nonsensical, is fundamentally fear-based. I like to talk about the "3 S's": the ego is concerned only with its own Safety, Security, Stability; the ego is attracted or addicted to Suffering, Sacrificing, Struggling---as these provide portals through which the ego builds its own (false) identity & 'earns' the attention/sympathy/praise of other (likewise unconscious) people. We've all met peeps who wear their suffering as a badge of honor, haven't we? The ego is inherently incapable of making any love-based choices, namely decisions that align one with one's own Truth, one's authentic Self.
I have internalised him so much that my body has adopted his mannerisms. Even my facial hair has become like his. Also, when I talk about presence with my friends, I feel like he talks through me. He resides in my heart these days. I have known joy of life through him. I can never thank him enough. 🙏
@@rationalmystic5 In the abuser is Eckhart and in the abused is also Eckhart. Eckhart is in the time and Eckhart is outside time. Eckhart is in the manifested and Eckhart is in the unmenifested. Eckhart is everywhere. Who else is there?
Yes Eckhart is a cool but I'm sensing a little too much guru worship in these comments. I invite you all to consider the possibility that instead of the notion that you are adopting other individuals mannerisms or personality instead you are matching the vibration they are emanating at that moment. These leaders are still human and as such fallible at moments. It is best to follow a loving message and not a loving messenger.
@@jimminykricket4067 My friend you seem to have missed the jist. When I say "he speaks through me" what I mean is - the doer melts and the witness speaks. And when I say "he resides in my heart" what I mean is I have found the center. When the center expands, the ego melts and when the ego melts, the inside and the outside become one. From the inside, the one watches its own expansion outside. The "you" that is the hindrance in realisation of the one melts and the one is realised. And my friend, there is nothing wrong with guru worship. It is through Eckhart that I realised the one and it is in Eckhart that I first sensed the reflection of the one. There comes a time in your awakening when the one and your guru become one and the same. When a Satguru is found, you don't have to do anything. You just open your heart towards him and the rest will happen on its own. A Satguru is the most compassionate one because he tries to explain the "thing or no thing" through words because it can only be experienced but cannot be explained in words. Nevertheless, he tries. For countless lifetimes, he searches for the truth and he discovers the truth in his current life. The door gets opened for him, yet out of his compassion, he stays here so that he can bring the fragrance from the beyond and give others a taste of what he has discovered. He delays his "MahaParinirvana" for us. This is how compassionate Satguru Eckhart is. 🙏
I've been dealing with the loss of a family member and other family are upset with me because I'm the executor and they feel the will is "unfair" to them. Long-term grudges are being resurrected, by the same people who always seem to have "victim stories" of how they've been hard done by (one uncle has been this way as long as I can remember). It's triggering my OWN feelings of how THEY aren't being fair to me, lol! So this video was very timely. :) I do feel the "story" of victim-hood often comes from traumas, which are real things to acknowledge (I myself have done trauma work to free myself from the grip of the pain body) but when it becomes WHO a person is it's destructive to them and others, too.. As humans we do need a sense of self, of some level of control/autonomy but I'm so grateful for Eckhart and others who have taught me that this True Self comes from the abiding space within. From that place I'm reminded that whatever these people "do to me" it's about THEM, about their "identity" and nothing really to do with me. And maybe I can even start to have compassion for them (a little lol). Namaste everyone
Your post is timely for me. thank you. i was in the grips of a trauma painbody and although i was aware and could observe it, i could not stop it from becoming reactionary.
@@slporter722 It's very hard when in the grip of it! I think maybe the way into being able to observe it is to start with self-compassion (it's ok to to that, real self-compassion isn't self-pity/victimhood). That helps me at least, stops me being upset with myself for my reaction, softens the reaction, stops the mental spiraling etc.
As the person in my family who will be the executor, but also the youngest child and only female, this is a scenario that I would not be surprised about. I admit I have spent time worried about this future scenario, and did some mental practice to prepare for it.
Thank you, this is so well explained and I imagine it would be hard to listen to some and for us to recognise the victim in us. The ego is so clever, thanks for pointing this out to all of us. You’re doing a great service to humanity.
Very true as usual. My mother, sweet and so good person, wears this victim's dress and never takes it off. This fact makes me lose awareness and presence very often when I call her. Less when I go to see her because I force 😁myself to remain present. Being a victim I find it such a waste of life and energy and so useless! However, it is also true that if I lose patience and presence it means that I am NOT PRESENT AT ALL and this is given to me to go even deeper ❤️ THANKS for always being there Mr Eckart Tolle 🙏💓
Well, I know it too. My mom often does the same. It is a sort of defence mechanism. Being consciouss of it most of the times I let it go but sometimes I lose patience and have to utter a word or two about the annoyance of her playing those ego games. Does she understad it ? I don't know ... ;)
@@jacekmiksza505 Thanks for your reply! Yes me too lose patience as I wrote, now less and less, anyway I perfectly understand you . I felt terrible sorry and my mother too suffered from it and this was the thing that made me suffer the most. Seriously, hurting others out of distraction, certainly not out of will, is NOW unbearable to me.There has always been this feeling of transcendence in me. I have always looked for it since I was a little girl and Tolle's teachings have been a real revelation for me. I have always looked for to know what WE REALLY ARE so I observed all I could, I was reading all I could but E. Tolle teachings have been the keystone. Now when I see my mother or call me if she catches me off guard (you know life as it is) I stop for a moment and say to myself "stay PRESENT". IT Works. It's the simplest thing in the world and we make it so hard! Your words are undoubtedly the words of a son who loves his mother so even if they were said in a difficult moment I am convinced that she knows perfectly well that behind your words there is only love, nothing but that! I am convinced that you are a wonderful son! 🙏✨🌟⭐
@@veraintuizione6497 Yes, thanks. The reason behind those words is not that we want to fight back, but that we care, that we love, as you said it. The worst that can happen in any ralationship is indifference. As Osho once said "...if someone no longer cares to express any emotions, not even anger with us, then that relationship has died completely... " And I see so much indifference around ...sad. E. Tolle is certainly an amazing mystic, par excellence, but it was from Osho that I have absorbed most of the wisdom. Maybe because I came across his teaching years before Eckhart, over 20 yeras ago. But I don't compare them, not in the least. Both are unique in their own ways.
@@jacekmiksza505 Yes they are unique and the same thing contemporary. At the end of the story there's only Consciusness...I perfectly understand what you meant about relationships and indifference...So true and SO said... We are living a robotic times, these are very strange times where a cold indifference and obtuse sloppiness are accompanied by a ferocious rage. They made a god out of money. I don't think they know what they're doing. Do you remember the words' Jesus ?Father forgive them because they do not know what they do. " But we know which path to follow .. Do not worry we have to remain present in the Truth. This only matters.🙏🌃🌟⭐✨
Complaining is so common practice that we often don't even notice we are doing it. When I complain, it's often about looking for someone to decide for me or get me out of some stuckness. Trauma can cause us to struggle with decisions as we can't trust any one path, and look for safety in others' reassurances.
When understanding is possible then healing can arise. Thank you eckhart for showing how this understanding is. 🙏 blessings for anyone who has this understanding and for those who have yet to receive this message as intended. 💚🌟🙏🦋
Thanks! That was exectly something i've been struggling with, and the thing is this victim identity was rejected and repressed for many years by me and by others, also by those ones who I believed were inflicting that harm to me... So like anything repressed it became stronger, hidden, etc... It is an importent step to admit and to see that identification in yourself vs trying to reject and to deny it. To admit anything that is an internal process of your mind is important, which ego and victim identification also is... which I think some of viewers could be trapped in after seeing your videos, that people could start to fight their egos, which only could imply more conflict and more suffering (who is fighting who?)... But thats because all spiritual teachers use words, which could lead to a misinterpretation.
That conflict of fighting the ego, you speak of, comes from a misunderstanding of what ego “is”. A practice on the spiritual path should always be of a transcendent nature, not a war on the ego. After all, ego is just a mental construct of our own doing. Ultimately, it is only realization of wisdom that erases our false sense of self. Since this is at the core of our own being no one else can do the job for us. When insights dawn in us we know something that can never be undone again. We walk towards higher and higher levels of knowledge and wisdom and that is an irreversible process. It is this wisdom that is the antidote against inferior beliefs such as a belief in a self identity. Along the way it is often helpful to understand what the ego is built on. Victimization is certainly one such building block. Group identity based on any criteria, such as gender, race, social status are all detrimental to our own liberation from bondage. In fact, group identity is an extension of our ego that works to justify our anger, hatred, blame-game, resentment against a perceived enemy. We must remember that if we truly want to be liberated from bondage we will only find the power to do so from within ourselves. We always have the choice to choose a path away from a reinforcement of ego and self clinging. This is an on-going process, moment by moment, rather than an once-in-a-lifetime event. Since ego is continuously manifesting itself our job is to continuously work on those liberating practices that undermine and dissolves our self-clinging. That is the spiritual process towards true liberation. If we wage war on our ego it will only become more and more prominent until a monster is created. If we listen to Eckhart Tolle’s words we will find a healthy way to understand how to overcome our debilitating wrong views about ourselves.
This speech is very profound. It made me to remember the moments when I was striving to identify myself as a victim - in workplace, with relatives, in relationships and etc. It's very important to recognize such tendencies in yourself and to draw the line between the ego and the right thoughts. In order to do this, one has to train this in his everyday life and it should give a result. Just as a physical training.
Hi ! Believe I was trained though childhood: my ego being a Victim can justify a lot, fex anxiety, fear ! - This talk is very profound - my ego is bigger, while being a victim to others ! Oh, oh ! Transcendense must be rehearsed !❤
Thank you for bringing this up. I feel that for a while now society has been encouraging and rewarding victim mentality. It may have come from a noble place, from wanting to recognize and be there for legitimate victims, but it has degenerated into something bordering on lunacy in my opinion. Right now the more you present yourself as a victim, the more you are given a platform and people bend over backwards to accommodate you.
Thank you for your invaluable wisdom ❤️ starting from my childhood I’ve had a lot of victim identity and tons of suppressed anger and sad ness resulting therefrom because I didn’t fit in school and also grew up with emotionally neglecting parents. It’s not easy to grow up in this unconscious society and some of us experience it more than others but therefore we get the chance to become more conscious! ❤️🌸🙏 Every suffering is a chance to awaken more
Thanks so much for your insights. I was hoping you were going to address what one could do to diffuse this mind set. I'm guessing it's not a mental transaction as a means to give consultation but to de-energise it by returning to the present even while things seem to be triggering an underlying lack of ease.. I find if I can name the feeling and acknowledge it's a common feeling for many and not to continue to seek to validate the feeling of offence it can take some of the heat out of the initial reaction. Thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks again.
Many people find using DMT has really helped them she'd the ego and see everything clearly. I have dealt with so much narcissism and dysfunction abuse trauma in my life and now I'm ill and I wish I had woken up years ago! So thankful for Mr Tolle!🕊️
Cannabis played a big role in my awakening 10 years ago. It (and DMT, psylicibin) put you above thought (behind thought). They put you closer to your subconscious from which thought -- even your entire conscious experience -- emerge (95% of your brain is subconcious, and produces your thoughts, emotions, experience of reality). The subconscious is irrational, the result of a war between the left & right hemispheres. Out of all of that our conscious experience (thoughts, feelings) _emerge_ and that tiny bit of emergent presence believes it's responsible for everything, being conscious itself. It rationalizes what emerges. It's "beneath thought." Subject to it. Those substances can give a glimpse of how it really is. Like dreaming while awake. That can be a rough experience if you're heavily identified with thought, the emergent sense of self/reality. When I hear people say "I tried cannabis and didn't like how it made me feel," I think they need to continue trying it (once a week, month, year. Anything's better than "never again."). I think their experience betrays that they identify with being beneath thought (with thought) and being without thought (above thought) is unpleasant. A loss of seeming control, or repressed trauma may come to the surface without the distraction of thought/narrative. Black Sabbath's "Sweet Leaf" lyrics are real: "Won't you listen? When I first met you didn't realize / I can't forget you for your surprise / You introduced me to my mind / And left me wanting you and your kind." (Again, all things in moderation. Becoming a stoner might not be good. But, using it just for insight really helped me.
This definitely hit home for me. I'm still trying to connect the dots with how keeping and identifying yourself as a victim even if those things did happen to you give you a high sense of morality, like is it the mentality of " wow even though such and such happened to me I'm still such a good person, and I would never inflict the pain that I've felt unto others?" Bc there's definitely a huge sense of that in the world and my ego has definitely been very very guilty of this.
I.. Should bookmark this and watch it daily. He had me ego-monologuing. Objectively I agree with everything he said, but subjectively I felt rage and resentment for my past and how I was treated by "my detractors" at the time. But I need to find a way to move on.
The past isn't real. It's just a story we tell ourselves. The only thing that's real is this present moment. Yes, the past may have caused the present moment to be what it is. Maybe if your father hadn't re-married you would have had a different life, other opportunities, gone to medical school, been more... but even those people are never happy either. You'd probably be one of them too. Ultimately it doesn't matter because there's no going back and changing it. It is what it is. You can begrudge it, letting the past continue to affect you in the now (through your own narrative to yourself). Or, accept what is. It's the only thing that's real.
This is why I stopped watching anything on narcissistic abuse. I was beginning to "see" that everyone in my life was a narcissistic abuser. They say cut these people out. And I did. Until I had only one person left. Who also showed narc tendencies. And I realised that I would just end up completely alone. Someone said in a YT video comment about narcs that "don't you people realise how hypocritical you all are?!" And I thought about that. At first I was hurt (my victim identity/my ego), but I then realised the identity that all the narc victims had was collectively looking down on all these mean people as bad, and they themselves, the nice people, as good. Not only that but the victim mentality was hard to give up, some other people were saying, like me, they were addicted to "learning" as much as they could watching narc videos every day. Now I geddit. It does give you your power back in a way. But at what cost? To lose everyone in your life? To split up marriages, break up families, lose your children, have no friends and no job? Cos everyone is mean to you? I say no. Sure, keep your distance with some people, don't engage with them very much, don't react to their goading, don't show emotion.. but they are still just people. Like us. Of course, if there is imminent danger to life, leave them and seek legal advice. But all this other stuff. People being constantly mean. There must be a better way to deal with it. And here, Eckhart makes sense 👍 and provides answers. And you know what, once you feel your own sense of inner peace, not much these mean people do, can upset you any more. And I feel that they can sense your newfound inner "confidence", your serenity, your peace and they stop baiting you. They pull back. Their narc radar for you turns off. They either implode and back off, or just go and find someone else to inflict their unconsciousness onto. 😊👍 Oh and BTW, this message needs to be out there for those other "victims of narcissistic abuse". I will certainly be advising people of it. Plus, if others don't agree, that is fine with them. I'm not pushing my opinion on anyone who doesn't want to accept it. Also, if you have serious abuse in your past, you could report it to the authorities. I was recently asked by my psychiatrist if I wanted to report historical abuse and I said no at the time. I often think about that. It would be a way to get heard and be recognised. But I am more interested in finding my own inner peace.
I've seen the same tendency (trend). It's been my impression that people obsessed with learning more about Ns are distracting themselves from more fundamental & productive questions about themself. Typically, when you hear the story of their experience with an N, there were tons of warning signs, seduction. There is a definite co-dependent type that is more easily mesmerized by an N; they push each other's buttons in ways other people don't. Victims of Ns often make the N out to be supernatural, demonic, evil to explain how the victim succumbed. IMO, that's a cop-out. A way to avoid asking hard questions about one's own self. "How did I allow this to happen? How did I not see it? What was I getting out of it?" Sure, they were lied to, manipulated, preyed upon. Ns are extremely counter-dependent. They "supply" their need for a mirror through others in that way. Some people more than others fall for it. (I've seen people who have, as you described, endless Ns in their life. Seeing Ns under every rock they overturn. Once again, why that one person and not everyone else seeing the same thing? It goes from blind acceptance of a real N who others would see through pretty quickly, to seeing Ns everywhere where most people don't. This kind of mentality should be a warning sign that it's not the N who was the entire problem.). Usually there's some kind of co-dependency problem within the victim. Or, the N stirred some past experience to re-live again. Or, a fairy-tale belief that something can be extraordinarly special (knight in shining armor; love-bombing is "real" affection/valuation). There's so many warning signs that were usually ignored. The'd be better served contemplating that than developing an unnatural fascination with what is essentially mental illness, imbuing it with concepts of evil, demons. They give the N free room & board in their head that way. Ns lack boundaries -- and their victims often do too. That's where the positive can be found. "No contact" means no-contact. If a person can't get the N out of their head, it's that person who has a problem they'd benefit more from than becoming a "narc hunter."
Realise that you are consciousness; that there is only the present moment. Don't deny the memory, but don't allow a mental idea like "I am a survivor of ____". Instead, "I am John. There is a memory of a past happening. Only the present is real.". Do presence-practice. Past memories may hurt - don't suppress it. But keep doing presence practice to try allow the mind to realise a little separation between past memory (mind) and present reality.
Thankyou Eckhardt .. perhaps this teaching might help me shift the last remnants of my victim identity- I will try to release it through presence .. I think I shifted some in understanding some of your other teachings but I think I need this reminder .. it very helpful - Thankyou 🙏
So helpful I feel I was trapped in this identity for some time.. I am seeing it gives us no liberation.. I just watched that powerful Netfix documentary on Janet Jackson and she was so strong in never acting like a victim even when really misunderstood by society.
@@jaymidavern2620 thank you for your response. I called him master of masters more as a manner of speech, it's a personal sign of appreciation I have for his teaching because it was through a very rough time in my life with depression that unintentionally I had an awakening experience, a brief time of enlightenment... And coincidentally I started meeting people Aligned with this and his book the power of now came through dude at my gym that was annoying me that wouldn't stop talking and he told me "I don't know why but I think I have a book that you'd like" (Never seen the dude before). When I read the power of now it was a 100% accurate description of what had happened to me which I was kind of ignoring cause I thought I was going crazy and he*taught* me through his book that this was actually a thing. After that I started practicing meditation and mindfulness and managed to expericne the same a few times after. So he taught me how to interpret my expericne, through his experience. So if I say master, I say it more as a "thank you" but I don't see him now as my superior, I even stopped reading or watching any of his videos to avoid any pedestalizing, and also because I think I've learnt all I needed. Now it's just doing, contemplating, action of what I've learnt.
WOKE: : "aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)" - VICTIM: "one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment; one that is tricked or duped; a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite" WOKE vs. VICTIM - 2 different things
You really need to BOOST the volume and straighten out your wonky WiFi, in these videos. Thank so much for your continued outreach. This was another deep one.
Every life is looking for only happiness. Whatever we do or don’t do is all for joy. As a unconscious being we search for happiness outside. It will invariably lead to sorrow, so the ego tries to derive happiness from misery too (Victim identity) When you realise that misery isn’t worth it, the benefits of misery are meaningless compared to the suffering it brings, your spiritual awakening has begun.
It sounds nice but the "benefits of misery" is a rather cruel way of describing life with serious mental health issues. Depression is at pandemic levels in most industrialized societies. Maybe if the world around you is insane and filled with trauma, going insane is a rational reaction if one has empathy and being a victim is a fact and not just an "identity". It's like saying to someone with a broken leg, they shouldn't have a victim mentality and just walk like everybody else. It's physically impossible if your brain is physically impaired from trauma you experienced. Any amount of spiritual teachings can't change that, the same way they couldn't help to heal a broken leg. This comment section is filled with mean and aggressive statements against the "social justice" or "woke" movements. It seems many in the audience have taken the term "victim identity" and use it as a weapon to elevate their own egos over others. Bringing me back to what I said in my first paragraph.
There is new understanding that being abused actually creates a physiological impression on the body. Such as fight,flight or freeze. So victim of abuse is much more than just a thought process it’s a physical reaction that has been queued for protection and some are stuck if not addressed properly.
That was a really good explanation and makes total sense - I would've wished a kind of solution in this video in the end - how to solve that or start changing perspectives.
Whenever you feel like a victim, wronged, deserving of something (someone else didn't provide, took away from you), think of it as ego. That sounds counter-intuitive. Ego is glory, grandiosity, revelling in "winning." It's overt, bragging, satisfied above anyone else. But, ego is more like Smegal/Gollum (lord of the rings, "my precious...."). It's decrepid, craven. It can get all that more typical "ego supply" from being wounded, demoted, the victim. Its all relative.The less-intuitive egoic supply implies "I should have the more intuitive supply. I'm entitled to it. Big time." The "pain body" is a stealthy way to be the more overt, grandiose (denied their position). There's some middle ground between acknowledging injustice, setbacks. The problem is over-identifying with it. The overt/grandiose ego is the flip side of that same coin. Nothing wrong with acknowledging success, skills, traits one is fortunate to have. The problem is over-identifying with them (strutting, bragging). Victims of wrongs do the same thing (mourning excessively for themselves). Maybe think of it that way when you find yourself wronged, feeling like a victim (too much). What's the implication of that? Expecting the now to be something it isn't? Just like the conspicuously fortunate person who is merely lucky that the now meets their expectations (and wears it on their sleeve for all to see)? Someone recently said "expectations are premeditated resentments." That's true. The commonality between a vainly conceited person and a vainly victimized person is expectations. The former simply hasn't reached resentment yet.
No just something the ego needs to hear. The real you doesn't have any problems or unconsciousness to deal with. That all happens with who you think you are but you are not really who you think you are. The mind is what thinks "I" and personalizes that thought. Where the true Self doesn't think I, and thus never says "I" but it is the true I without the word or self-concepts. So with that being said, it is the mind that "needs" to hear this message because it is the mind that doesn't understand its own true nature which is nothing mental.
Thank you for saying “all” and thank you Eckhart Tolle for saying “some have been victimized more than others.” Several mainstream narratives are fighting for who is most victimized, many are projecting when they tell people to “stop acting like victims” when really they’re just tired of hearing about the problems of marginalized people, and they feel victimized by always hearing about things they don’t care about. They do this without realizing that it isn’t weird for marginalized people to want to speak up. Ultimately, the best solution is for individuals to awaken to their own egoic tendencies, I am grateful for the opportunity to do so in my life. Then one can begin to respond to people who are either just complaining or legitimately struggling for dignified survival with more grace and understanding, less circular arguing.
I will surpass this… I do not feel superior in any way. Recently something happened to trigger the memories. If anything it diminishes how I see myself… pushing through. What makes me sad though that it’s hurting someone I love. Forgiveness is a necessary action. We must forgive to be free🙏💜🙏
Victim identity is at the core of the social justice/'woke' movement and is rampant is Western society right now. Truly, I hope we begin to transcend this stage of development soon before too much irreversible damage is done.
Agreed. Eckhart also very tactfully adressed that topic a couple of times; the ideological "pendulum swing" on the west being a perpetuation of the ego, etc... In his interview with Dave Rubin IIRC
There is self identification with memory. Ego steeps in superiority, can't tolerate inferiority. Even by being inferior, you feel superior to anyone who is not as big a victim as you are! There is also collective victimhood. Every form of egoic identify is a delusion. Stronger the ego, greater the delusion. Thanks Eckhart.
Growing up I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually! I have not found a place within me for forgiveness for any of these horrific things that were done to me. Sometimes I feel I was a victim but in reality I was victimized by people who didn't care who they hurt and I just happened to be there, a target, for them to take out on me whatever it was that was going on in them at that time....You are so right, Eckhart, this is simply the condition of human life on this earth. So sad! 😔
Peter K NYK, I hear you. Oh the trauma/pain you must have suffered at the hands of unconscious people in your life. So sorry for your pain. As Eckhart is teaching us, we should not let the victimization we experienced become our identity. You are NOT a victim. Forgiveness will come when you have compassionate understanding that the people who hurt you did so from a state of unconsciousness, having no awareness of the true essence of their being. Remember, when Jesus was crucified he stated, "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do."
@@yvonneh5334 thank you so very much for your wonderful compassionate comment! Letting go of the victimization is what I need to learn to do. Thank you so much for pointing out just that. Yes, the trauma/pain that I went through was often unbearable. Eckhart often points out that in acceptance one can find freedom! We can hope that that is possible! 🙏🏻 Thank you so much!
The forgiveness is for yourself. Similar to a mom, forgiving a driver who killed her son. She does not want to hold that anger inside, forgiveness releases it. Forgiveness is not forgetting, as well man is accountable to the justice system. A mom may forgive her childs killer, but he still goes to jail for a long time.
Thank You Eckhtrt for This !!! DO YOU ,OR ANYBODY THAT SEES THIS REQUEST HAVE SUGGESTIONS HOW TO HEAL IN THE BEST WAY TROUGH ANY KIND OF PROCESS ? THANK YOU IN ADVANCE LOVE AND LIGHT
The essence of the victim mentality is not wanting to be responsible for one's own life, and the spiritual food of the victim mentality also comes from feeling anxious about not being able to find someone who can take over the responsibility in one's own life. That’s why I don’t like mainstream artists, they are ALL telling and teaching us how to be a more Irresponsible and more complaining negative people.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
One Eckhart’s video a day, keeps anxiety and depression away.🍁
Amen 🙏
Yes! 😂it's true.
I agree, there is something in his stillness and tone of voice. He emanates calm
Hence why religions remind you to pray 5x etc , to stay mindful, you don’t need to believe in a specific god etc , just ET
This is so profound! I’m getting more and more aware of the ego’s tendency to complain in every day life. With every complain you install a small entity of victimhood. If you stop complaining and listen to other people who are still doing it, you can sometimes feel the impulse to add your own story, because it is kind of a competition who suffered the most.
The famous saying: Misery love company. Haha... Bless you. Thank you.
Spot on.
Omg exactly! This is a trigger for narcissists bc that’s all they do (a witness to)
This is so true
Life is so much easier when you apply what Tolle says.
As a child of a narcissist or psychopath parent It Is real hard....many people know what this specific esperience feels like
Yeah
Yes
Borderline parent here. The problem is they can be so stuck in their own victim mentality you get stuck in it.
That's why you are here 🙏💚
Narcissist mother sociopath alcoholic dad, I've spent my adult life recovering.
I became so much freer when I discovered I am not a victim...it's not personal. I forgive a lot quicker
Set healthy boundaries. Love without being involved...it feels good. Yes, there are times I still hurt from perceived slights but not as deeply or as long.
Bless you. Thank you.
Me too ! I discovered I'm not the center of the world. Things happen but it may not be because of me. Sometimes what happens is the direct result of my actions and words, even if initially I did not intend them to have that kind of results. An incredible teaching.
So wonderful forgiveness frees our own hearts from constriction.
Yes forgiveness is more for us, not them.
It can have nothing to do with them.
It's not letting them get away with it.
It's letting *us* get away *from* it.
well said
Omg never ever thought of it this way ! Victimization makes us feel superior. This was so eye opening
Victims are narcissists and want to use people like servants they make the mess for others to clean
Yes. We tend to form addictions to avoid our emotional injuries. We are literally addicted to our pain & suffering! Almost to get sympathy or empathetic energy from others.
Yes!….I’ve called this “the love affair with pain” because sympathy is the lowest hanging fruit of attention seeking
To the person reading this: THANK YOU for being here and adding value to our world 💖 Hope you have a blessed day filled with joy, happiness, health and love! 💖
same same to you, thanks
Also I wish the best for you and beloved ones. You are right, everybody is reading that is a nice person and deserves to enjoy life (excepting the boss who fired me 7 months ago!)
This video is so important! I was just meditating on this. Yes, we’ve all been victims to something but to maintain a victim mentality is very debilitating. When repressed memories surface it’s brutal but videos like this and your books help to reprogram into useful energy. Thank you so much for all you do and share it has impacted my life in a massively positive way. 🙏
I see myself so clearly in this ego identification of victimhood. Anger is the thing that switches off awareness and has led me into the victim state and blaming others for everything wrong in my life. Thankyou Ekhart.
Hi Echkart ! YOU have been the master to me for 4 years now ! If I had not found You on RUclips by accident, I am not sure I had been able to live my life being present ! I went through a horrible suffering for many years, fighting my ego ! I am gratefull to You for Sending out all Your healing talks and meditations! Namaste !❤
Ive been healing major child abuse for 17 years.ive come along way.healed the cycle.memories trap you, on every level, if not healed.
I have also experienced some emotional abuse from my parents as a child that I still need to fully heal from… it’s not easy but it’s possible…I wish you all the best 💋
I suffer cause i think i shouldn’t live happy while there are children suffering this stuff! I feel guilty as a person who cant and doesnt do anything to help in this problematic. I really hope you fully heal, how have you been doing? Are you capable of love and happiness nowadays? Anyway i can help you let me know. Big hug!
For me, the way beyond victimhood was to forgive the abuser. It was a huge release. Thank you! Hope everyone has a beautiful day!☺️🌻💜
Was that an ego thing as well ?
@@luckyPiston You know, I hadn't thought about it that way before. Maybe. And tbh, it's not like that was a total "cure" either. I still struggle with living in the present and being conscious (as we all do). Anyway, it helped. Thank you for that question.✌️😊
@stephanie jeanne- how did you do that? For me it seems impossible thing to do.
@@LilyRose-theOne It certainly wasn't easy. It took being away from them for many years. I was able to look at them with empathy for what was done to them. Also remembering the things they taught me (both good and bad) and that they made me see how strong I actually am. It was just such a burden to carry the anger for so long. This all sounds very egoic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing when you're healing from it. 🤷 I wish you well in finding your way. 💜
@@StephanieJeanne He talks about the victim being in a power struggle with the abuser, so the victim needs to recover from being taken over.
So if the abuser is acting from a place of extreme selfishness and greed then they are indulging in a perverse form of pleasure.
So when you forgive, are you forgiving the act or the mental state the abuser was in ?
Every ego identity is a delusion. Determining who you are from victimization by others is not who you are. To stop being a victim it is important to determine who you are without it and continue to grow from there. I love this video.
I try but it is so hard and victim part just takes over 😞
This is ONE OF THE BEST EXPLANATIONS I have ever listened to. It is BRILLIANT IN ITS SIMPLICITY and therefore available to all. Thank you E.T.
A very important one, thank you. Healing starts once you let go of the victim mentality.
There are states that use this collective victimhood and inflict suffering to other communities continously ! And this results of course in a vicious cycle of aggression , pain and injustice . Everyone suffers in the end. This is the evil power of the ego . Ego is extremely dangerous . I wish that all humans would become conscious of that. Thank you for all your teachings 🙏
I once read a phrase “the pride of the worm” which catches me sometimes when I identify with bewailing my woes. Beautiful explanation 🙏🏻 I often ask myself if I have fallen back into learned helplessness which is such a delusion.
It's so interesting, the ego continues to strengthen itself across years and decades, yet at its core it is still weak and unstable
The ego is intrinsically weak as it subsists solely on a diet of fear! The need to feel superior to others, by whatever means, no matter how petty or nonsensical, is fundamentally fear-based. I like to talk about the "3 S's": the ego is concerned only with its own Safety, Security, Stability; the ego is attracted or addicted to Suffering, Sacrificing, Struggling---as these provide portals through which the ego builds its own (false) identity & 'earns' the attention/sympathy/praise of other (likewise unconscious) people. We've all met peeps who wear their suffering as a badge of honor, haven't we? The ego is inherently incapable of making any love-based choices, namely decisions that align one with one's own Truth, one's authentic Self.
@@writerforlifeify the ego is literally a trick we are all being tricked by an illusion
Ego can also be build on inferiorty.
It always cracks me up when he acts out the ego. Priceless!
Eckhart has added so many levels of profound wisdom to my life, that I get tears of gratitude just listening to him
I have internalised him so much that my body has adopted his mannerisms. Even my facial hair has become like his.
Also, when I talk about presence with my friends, I feel like he talks through me. He resides in my heart these days. I have known joy of life through him. I can never thank him enough. 🙏
Hope u are talking about Eckhart and not your abuser.🙏👍😃
By the way ...I'm the same way. I find myself talking in the style of Eckhart tolle and Sam Harris very often. Wish you well.
@@rationalmystic5 In the abuser is Eckhart and in the abused is also Eckhart. Eckhart is in the time and Eckhart is outside time. Eckhart is in the manifested and Eckhart is in the unmenifested. Eckhart is everywhere. Who else is there?
Yes Eckhart is a cool but I'm sensing a little too much guru worship in these comments. I invite you all to consider the possibility that instead of the notion that you are adopting other individuals mannerisms or personality instead you are matching the vibration they are emanating at that moment. These leaders are still human and as such fallible at moments. It is best to follow a loving message and not a loving messenger.
@@jimminykricket4067 My friend you seem to have missed the jist.
When I say "he speaks through me" what I mean is - the doer melts and the witness speaks. And when I say "he resides in my heart" what I mean is I have found the center. When the center expands, the ego melts and when the ego melts, the inside and the outside become one. From the inside, the one watches its own expansion outside. The "you" that is the hindrance in realisation of the one melts and the one is realised.
And my friend, there is nothing wrong with guru worship. It is through Eckhart that I realised the one and it is in Eckhart that I first sensed the reflection of the one. There comes a time in your awakening when the one and your guru become one and the same.
When a Satguru is found, you don't have to do anything. You just open your heart towards him and the rest will happen on its own. A Satguru is the most compassionate one because he tries to explain the "thing or no thing" through words because it can only be experienced but cannot be explained in words. Nevertheless, he tries. For countless lifetimes, he searches for the truth and he discovers the truth in his current life. The door gets opened for him, yet out of his compassion, he stays here so that he can bring the fragrance from the beyond and give others a taste of what he has discovered. He delays his "MahaParinirvana" for us. This is how compassionate Satguru Eckhart is. 🙏
Whenever he says its precious to you, I think of golem. bwt.. whos the woman that flashes at 8:29 that scared me!
I’m wondering too
I saw that too!
He was on a video call with the interviewer. The mic must have picked up their voice and switches to their video. Then switches back to Eckhart.
I've been dealing with the loss of a family member and other family are upset with me because I'm the executor and they feel the will is "unfair" to them. Long-term grudges are being resurrected, by the same people who always seem to have "victim stories" of how they've been hard done by (one uncle has been this way as long as I can remember). It's triggering my OWN feelings of how THEY aren't being fair to me, lol! So this video was very timely. :)
I do feel the "story" of victim-hood often comes from traumas, which are real things to acknowledge (I myself have done trauma work to free myself from the grip of the pain body) but when it becomes WHO a person is it's destructive to them and others, too.. As humans we do need a sense of self, of some level of control/autonomy but I'm so grateful for Eckhart and others who have taught me that this True Self comes from the abiding space within. From that place I'm reminded that whatever these people "do to me" it's about THEM, about their "identity" and nothing really to do with me. And maybe I can even start to have compassion for them (a little lol). Namaste everyone
That's so good. Yes. These types of issues will set off all the old triggers for unhealed egos. Compassion is wisdom to get through it 🙏
Your post is timely for me. thank you. i was in the grips of a trauma painbody and although i was aware and could observe it, i could not stop it from becoming reactionary.
@@slporter722 It's very hard when in the grip of it! I think maybe the way into being able to observe it is to start with self-compassion (it's ok to to that, real self-compassion isn't self-pity/victimhood). That helps me at least, stops me being upset with myself for my reaction, softens the reaction, stops the mental spiraling etc.
@@vintage_violet I will try that. thank you.
As the person in my family who will be the executor, but also the youngest child and only female, this is a scenario that I would not be surprised about. I admit I have spent time worried about this future scenario, and did some mental practice to prepare for it.
Thank you, this is so well explained and I imagine it would be hard to listen to some and for us to recognise the victim in us. The ego is so clever, thanks for pointing this out to all of us. You’re doing a great service to humanity.
Thanks Eckhart, for this wisdom.
Very true as usual. My mother, sweet and so good person, wears this victim's dress and never takes it off. This fact makes me lose awareness and presence very often when I call her. Less when I go to see her because I force 😁myself to remain present. Being a victim I find it such a waste of life and energy and so useless! However, it is also true that if I lose patience and presence it means that I am NOT PRESENT AT ALL and this is given to me to go even deeper ❤️ THANKS for always being there Mr Eckart Tolle 🙏💓
Well, I know it too. My mom often does the same. It is a sort of defence mechanism. Being consciouss of it most of the times I let it go but sometimes I lose patience and have to utter a word or two about the annoyance of her playing those ego games. Does she understad it ? I don't know ... ;)
@@jacekmiksza505 Thanks for your reply! Yes me too lose patience as I wrote, now less and less, anyway I perfectly understand you . I felt terrible sorry and my mother too suffered from it and this was the thing that made me suffer the most. Seriously, hurting others out of distraction, certainly not out of will, is NOW unbearable to me.There has always been this feeling of transcendence in me. I have always looked for it since I was a little girl and Tolle's teachings have been a real revelation for me. I have always looked for to know what WE REALLY ARE so I observed all I could, I was reading all I could but E. Tolle teachings have been the keystone. Now when I see my mother or call me if she catches me off guard (you know life as it is) I stop for a moment and say to myself "stay PRESENT". IT Works. It's the simplest thing in the world and we make it so hard! Your words are undoubtedly the words of a son who loves his mother so even if they were said in a difficult moment I am convinced that she knows perfectly well that behind your words there is only love, nothing but that! I am convinced that you are a wonderful son! 🙏✨🌟⭐
@@veraintuizione6497 Yes, thanks. The reason behind those words is not that we want to fight back, but that we care, that we love, as you said it. The worst that can happen in any ralationship is indifference. As Osho once said "...if someone no longer cares to express any emotions, not even anger with us, then that relationship has died completely... " And I see so much indifference around ...sad.
E. Tolle is certainly an amazing mystic, par excellence, but it was from Osho that I have absorbed most of the wisdom. Maybe because I came across his teaching years before Eckhart, over 20 yeras ago. But I don't compare them, not in the least. Both are unique in their own ways.
@@jacekmiksza505 Yes they are unique and the same thing contemporary. At the end of the story there's only Consciusness...I perfectly understand what you meant about relationships and indifference...So true and SO said... We are living a robotic times, these are very strange times where a cold indifference and obtuse sloppiness are accompanied by a ferocious rage. They made a god out of money. I don't think they know what they're doing. Do you remember the words' Jesus ?Father forgive them because they do not know what they do. " But we know which path to follow .. Do not worry we have to remain present in the Truth. This only matters.🙏🌃🌟⭐✨
This message has taken weight off of me today.. thank you Eckhart.. love and blessings to all the masters who help us realise 🙏
Complaining is so common practice that we often don't even notice we are doing it. When I complain, it's often about looking for someone to decide for me or get me out of some stuckness. Trauma can cause us to struggle with decisions as we can't trust any one path, and look for safety in others' reassurances.
When understanding is possible then healing can arise. Thank you eckhart for showing how this understanding is. 🙏 blessings for anyone who has this understanding and for those who have yet to receive this message as intended. 💚🌟🙏🦋
It seems far more powerful to identify oneself as a survivor, rather than a victim.
Survivor is another badge for the ego.
Laughter is the best medicine
It is also Eckhart s great work that I become a transcender. Really great. I appreaceate this and also all of you who follow his teaching.
Thanks! That was exectly something i've been struggling with, and the thing is this victim identity was rejected and repressed for many years by me and by others, also by those ones who I believed were inflicting that harm to me... So like anything repressed it became stronger, hidden, etc... It is an importent step to admit and to see that identification in yourself vs trying to reject and to deny it. To admit anything that is an internal process of your mind is important, which ego and victim identification also is... which I think some of viewers could be trapped in after seeing your videos, that people could start to fight their egos, which only could imply more conflict and more suffering (who is fighting who?)... But thats because all spiritual teachers use words, which could lead to a misinterpretation.
That conflict of fighting the ego, you speak of, comes from a misunderstanding of what ego “is”. A practice on the spiritual path should always be of a transcendent nature, not a war on the ego. After all, ego is just a mental construct of our own doing. Ultimately, it is only realization of wisdom that erases our false sense of self. Since this is at the core of our own being no one else can do the job for us. When insights dawn in us we know something that can never be undone again. We walk towards higher and higher levels of knowledge and wisdom and that is an irreversible process. It is this wisdom that is the antidote against inferior beliefs such as a belief in a self identity.
Along the way it is often helpful to understand what the ego is built on. Victimization is certainly one such building block. Group identity based on any criteria, such as gender, race, social status are all detrimental to our own liberation from bondage. In fact, group identity is an extension of our ego that works to justify our anger, hatred, blame-game, resentment against a perceived enemy.
We must remember that if we truly want to be liberated from bondage we will only find the power to do so from within ourselves. We always have the choice to choose a path away from a reinforcement of ego and self clinging. This is an on-going process, moment by moment, rather than an once-in-a-lifetime event. Since ego is continuously manifesting itself our job is to continuously work on those liberating practices that undermine and dissolves our self-clinging. That is the spiritual process towards true liberation. If we wage war on our ego it will only become more and more prominent until a monster is created. If we listen to Eckhart Tolle’s words we will find a healthy way to understand how to overcome our debilitating wrong views about ourselves.
This speech is very profound.
It made me to remember the moments when I was striving to identify myself as a victim - in workplace, with relatives, in relationships and etc.
It's very important to recognize such tendencies in yourself and to draw the line between the ego and the right thoughts.
In order to do this, one has to train this in his everyday life and it should give a result. Just as a physical training.
Hi ! Believe I was trained though childhood: my ego being a Victim can justify a lot, fex anxiety, fear ! - This talk is very profound - my ego is bigger, while being a victim to others ! Oh, oh ! Transcendense must be rehearsed !❤
In fact one is not free, when ego has the power ! I have to meditate every Day !
@@annabellacrewe8858 meditation is of great importance but our consciousness in every interaction with people around us even is of greater impact.
@@hammerbet7140 the two go together !
This is more important in this day and age than ever before.
Thank you for bringing this up. I feel that for a while now society has been encouraging and rewarding victim mentality. It may have come from a noble place, from wanting to recognize and be there for legitimate victims, but it has degenerated into something bordering on lunacy in my opinion. Right now the more you present yourself as a victim, the more you are given a platform and people bend over backwards to accommodate you.
There's nothing noble about it. It's all about disempowerment, which makes it easier for the Archons to remain in control.
Megan and Harry described to a T.
Kendrick brought me here. Hope to learn plenty from you, Mr Eckhart.
"centre for inner peace "
Thank you for your invaluable wisdom ❤️ starting from my childhood I’ve had a lot of victim identity and tons of suppressed anger and sad ness resulting therefrom because I didn’t fit in school and also grew up with emotionally neglecting parents. It’s not easy to grow up in this unconscious society and some of us experience it more than others but therefore we get the chance to become more conscious! ❤️🌸🙏 Every suffering is a chance to awaken more
I have dear family members who have a very strong victim identity. It's easier now for me, 'because they do not know better'. Thank your Mr Tolle!
Much love and appreciation for these words woven by consciousness. They make me feel more liberated. Thank you, Eckhart.❤
Thank you for this teaching, this is one source of suffering that we inflict on ourselves. Recognizing it is a good start to liberation.
I learnt a lot about myself from this video. Thanks Eckhart.
Thanks so much for your insights. I was hoping you were going to address what one could do to diffuse this mind set. I'm guessing it's not a mental transaction as a means to give consultation but to de-energise it by returning to the present even while things seem to be triggering an underlying lack of ease.. I find if I can name the feeling and acknowledge it's a common feeling for many and not to continue to seek to validate the feeling of offence it can take some of the heat out of the initial reaction. Thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks again.
Many people find using DMT has really helped them she'd the ego and see everything clearly. I have dealt with so much narcissism and dysfunction abuse trauma in my life and now I'm ill and I wish I had woken up years ago! So thankful for Mr Tolle!🕊️
What’s DMT
Cannabis played a big role in my awakening 10 years ago. It (and DMT, psylicibin) put you above thought (behind thought). They put you closer to your subconscious from which thought -- even your entire conscious experience -- emerge (95% of your brain is subconcious, and produces your thoughts, emotions, experience of reality). The subconscious is irrational, the result of a war between the left & right hemispheres. Out of all of that our conscious experience (thoughts, feelings) _emerge_ and that tiny bit of emergent presence believes it's responsible for everything, being conscious itself. It rationalizes what emerges. It's "beneath thought." Subject to it. Those substances can give a glimpse of how it really is. Like dreaming while awake.
That can be a rough experience if you're heavily identified with thought, the emergent sense of self/reality. When I hear people say "I tried cannabis and didn't like how it made me feel," I think they need to continue trying it (once a week, month, year. Anything's better than "never again."). I think their experience betrays that they identify with being beneath thought (with thought) and being without thought (above thought) is unpleasant. A loss of seeming control, or repressed trauma may come to the surface without the distraction of thought/narrative.
Black Sabbath's "Sweet Leaf" lyrics are real: "Won't you listen? When I first met you didn't realize / I can't forget you for your surprise / You introduced me to my mind / And left me wanting you and your kind." (Again, all things in moderation. Becoming a stoner might not be good. But, using it just for insight really helped me.
I am very thankful and grateful for you Eckhart sir for sharing your knowledge
This definitely hit home for me. I'm still trying to connect the dots with how keeping and identifying yourself as a victim even if those things did happen to you give you a high sense of morality, like is it the mentality of " wow even though such and such happened to me I'm still such a good person, and I would never inflict the pain that I've felt unto others?" Bc there's definitely a huge sense of that in the world and my ego has definitely been very very guilty of this.
I.. Should bookmark this and watch it daily. He had me ego-monologuing. Objectively I agree with everything he said, but subjectively I felt rage and resentment for my past and how I was treated by "my detractors" at the time. But I need to find a way to move on.
The past isn't real. It's just a story we tell ourselves. The only thing that's real is this present moment. Yes, the past may have caused the present moment to be what it is. Maybe if your father hadn't re-married you would have had a different life, other opportunities, gone to medical school, been more... but even those people are never happy either. You'd probably be one of them too. Ultimately it doesn't matter because there's no going back and changing it. It is what it is. You can begrudge it, letting the past continue to affect you in the now (through your own narrative to yourself). Or, accept what is. It's the only thing that's real.
@@markfuller Thanks for this insight.
Great talk coinciding with my endless victim identity
This is why I stopped watching anything on narcissistic abuse. I was beginning to "see" that everyone in my life was a narcissistic abuser. They say cut these people out. And I did. Until I had only one person left. Who also showed narc tendencies. And I realised that I would just end up completely alone. Someone said in a YT video comment about narcs that "don't you people realise how hypocritical you all are?!" And I thought about that. At first I was hurt (my victim identity/my ego), but I then realised the identity that all the narc victims had was collectively looking down on all these mean people as bad, and they themselves, the nice people, as good. Not only that but the victim mentality was hard to give up, some other people were saying, like me, they were addicted to "learning" as much as they could watching narc videos every day. Now I geddit. It does give you your power back in a way. But at what cost? To lose everyone in your life? To split up marriages, break up families, lose your children, have no friends and no job? Cos everyone is mean to you?
I say no. Sure, keep your distance with some people, don't engage with them very much, don't react to their goading, don't show emotion.. but they are still just people. Like us.
Of course, if there is imminent danger to life, leave them and seek legal advice. But all this other stuff. People being constantly mean. There must be a better way to deal with it. And here, Eckhart makes sense 👍 and provides answers.
And you know what, once you feel your own sense of inner peace, not much these mean people do, can upset you any more. And I feel that they can sense your newfound inner "confidence", your serenity, your peace and they stop baiting you. They pull back. Their narc radar for you turns off. They either implode and back off, or just go and find someone else to inflict their unconsciousness onto.
😊👍
Oh and BTW, this message needs to be out there for those other "victims of narcissistic abuse". I will certainly be advising people of it.
Plus, if others don't agree, that is fine with them. I'm not pushing my opinion on anyone who doesn't want to accept it.
Also, if you have serious abuse in your past, you could report it to the authorities. I was recently asked by my psychiatrist if I wanted to report historical abuse and I said no at the time. I often think about that. It would be a way to get heard and be recognised. But I am more interested in finding my own inner peace.
I've seen the same tendency (trend). It's been my impression that people obsessed with learning more about Ns are distracting themselves from more fundamental & productive questions about themself. Typically, when you hear the story of their experience with an N, there were tons of warning signs, seduction. There is a definite co-dependent type that is more easily mesmerized by an N; they push each other's buttons in ways other people don't. Victims of Ns often make the N out to be supernatural, demonic, evil to explain how the victim succumbed. IMO, that's a cop-out. A way to avoid asking hard questions about one's own self. "How did I allow this to happen? How did I not see it? What was I getting out of it?"
Sure, they were lied to, manipulated, preyed upon. Ns are extremely counter-dependent. They "supply" their need for a mirror through others in that way. Some people more than others fall for it. (I've seen people who have, as you described, endless Ns in their life. Seeing Ns under every rock they overturn. Once again, why that one person and not everyone else seeing the same thing? It goes from blind acceptance of a real N who others would see through pretty quickly, to seeing Ns everywhere where most people don't. This kind of mentality should be a warning sign that it's not the N who was the entire problem.). Usually there's some kind of co-dependency problem within the victim. Or, the N stirred some past experience to re-live again. Or, a fairy-tale belief that something can be extraordinarly special (knight in shining armor; love-bombing is "real" affection/valuation). There's so many warning signs that were usually ignored. The'd be better served contemplating that than developing an unnatural fascination with what is essentially mental illness, imbuing it with concepts of evil, demons. They give the N free room & board in their head that way. Ns lack boundaries -- and their victims often do too. That's where the positive can be found. "No contact" means no-contact. If a person can't get the N out of their head, it's that person who has a problem they'd benefit more from than becoming a "narc hunter."
Thank you for being such a sweetheart!
A great video; but how can we let go of the victim mentality? Can anyone highlight a video that explains that?
Realise that you are consciousness; that there is only the present moment. Don't deny the memory, but don't allow a mental idea like "I am a survivor of ____". Instead, "I am John. There is a memory of a past happening. Only the present is real.". Do presence-practice. Past memories may hurt - don't suppress it. But keep doing presence practice to try allow the mind to realise a little separation between past memory (mind) and present reality.
@@woofmeow247 Thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
Thankyou Eckhardt .. perhaps this teaching might help me shift the last remnants of my victim identity- I will try to release it through presence .. I think I shifted some in understanding some of your other teachings but I think I need this reminder .. it very helpful - Thankyou 🙏
Excellent! Thank you!
Thank you for watching.
@@EckhartTollekann ich der Raum für das sein... ?🐣♥🙏
So helpful I feel I was trapped in this identity for some time.. I am seeing it gives us no liberation.. I just watched that powerful Netfix documentary on Janet Jackson and she was so strong in never acting like a victim even when really misunderstood by society.
Thank you. Who’s the lady in the flash-frame at 08:30?
Wow, this opened my eyes. Thank you!
Your Statement works from 1-8 Years
NOT OVER MANY DECADES
AMEN
Literally the woke people
It's all ego "look at me! Please!"
Eckhart thank you for all this knowledge. Master of masters.
@@jaymidavern2620 thank you for your response. I called him master of masters more as a manner of speech, it's a personal sign of appreciation I have for his teaching because it was through a very rough time in my life with depression that unintentionally I had an awakening experience, a brief time of enlightenment... And coincidentally I started meeting people Aligned with this and his book the power of now came through dude at my gym that was annoying me that wouldn't stop talking and he told me "I don't know why but I think I have a book that you'd like" (Never seen the dude before).
When I read the power of now it was a 100% accurate description of what had happened to me which I was kind of ignoring cause I thought I was going crazy and he*taught* me through his book that this was actually a thing.
After that I started practicing meditation and mindfulness and managed to expericne the same a few times after. So he taught me how to interpret my expericne, through his experience.
So if I say master, I say it more as a "thank you" but I don't see him now as my superior, I even stopped reading or watching any of his videos to avoid any pedestalizing, and also because I think I've learnt all I needed.
Now it's just doing, contemplating, action of what I've learnt.
WOKE: : "aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)" - VICTIM: "one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment; one that is tricked or duped; a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite" WOKE vs. VICTIM - 2 different things
@@peteypickles3262 Agree. Unfortunately people who are woke behave like victims, so that's why a sane person will conflate those words. Cheers
Absolutely humbling!!!
You really need to BOOST the volume and straighten out your wonky WiFi, in these videos. Thank so much for your continued outreach. This was another deep one.
Good to know and recognize when i experience victim identity happening to me so i have a choice.
Thank you from my heart as this has really helped me so much.
Wow talk about doing the work, he has ! ! 🙏 thank you.
Every life is looking for only happiness.
Whatever we do or don’t do is all for joy.
As a unconscious being we search for happiness outside. It will invariably lead to sorrow, so the ego tries to derive happiness from misery too (Victim identity)
When you realise that misery isn’t worth it, the benefits of misery are meaningless compared to the suffering it brings, your spiritual awakening has begun.
Yes this is also what Sadhguru says and I agree.
It sounds nice but the "benefits of misery" is a rather cruel way of describing life with serious mental health issues. Depression is at pandemic levels in most industrialized societies. Maybe if the world around you is insane and filled with trauma, going insane is a rational reaction if one has empathy and being a victim is a fact and not just an "identity".
It's like saying to someone with a broken leg, they shouldn't have a victim mentality and just walk like everybody else. It's physically impossible if your brain is physically impaired from trauma you experienced.
Any amount of spiritual teachings can't change that, the same way they couldn't help to heal a broken leg.
This comment section is filled with mean and aggressive statements against the "social justice" or "woke" movements. It seems many in the audience have taken the term "victim identity" and use it as a weapon to elevate their own egos over others. Bringing me back to what I said in my first paragraph.
Self righteousness is ego. Really hard to get rid of
This is pure gold.
Thank you Eckhart for this video! 🙏🏼
Thank you Eckhart
There is new understanding that being abused actually creates a physiological impression on the body. Such as fight,flight or freeze. So victim of abuse is much more than just a thought process it’s a physical reaction that has been queued for protection and some are stuck if not addressed properly.
"The ego gets burnt up in this suffering."
(previous video) ET
"Suffer little children to come unto me for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
( Hymn )
That was a really good explanation and makes total sense - I would've wished a kind of solution in this video in the end - how to solve that or start changing perspectives.
Whenever you feel like a victim, wronged, deserving of something (someone else didn't provide, took away from you), think of it as ego. That sounds counter-intuitive. Ego is glory, grandiosity, revelling in "winning." It's overt, bragging, satisfied above anyone else. But, ego is more like Smegal/Gollum (lord of the rings, "my precious...."). It's decrepid, craven. It can get all that more typical "ego supply" from being wounded, demoted, the victim. Its all relative.The less-intuitive egoic supply implies "I should have the more intuitive supply. I'm entitled to it. Big time." The "pain body" is a stealthy way to be the more overt, grandiose (denied their position).
There's some middle ground between acknowledging injustice, setbacks. The problem is over-identifying with it. The overt/grandiose ego is the flip side of that same coin. Nothing wrong with acknowledging success, skills, traits one is fortunate to have. The problem is over-identifying with them (strutting, bragging). Victims of wrongs do the same thing (mourning excessively for themselves).
Maybe think of it that way when you find yourself wronged, feeling like a victim (too much). What's the implication of that? Expecting the now to be something it isn't? Just like the conspicuously fortunate person who is merely lucky that the now meets their expectations (and wears it on their sleeve for all to see)? Someone recently said "expectations are premeditated resentments." That's true. The commonality between a vainly conceited person and a vainly victimized person is expectations. The former simply hasn't reached resentment yet.
Oof-we all need this 🙏💜♾
No just something the ego needs to hear. The real you doesn't have any problems or unconsciousness to deal with. That all happens with who you think you are but you are not really who you think you are. The mind is what thinks "I" and personalizes that thought. Where the true Self doesn't think I, and thus never says "I" but it is the true I without the word or self-concepts. So with that being said, it is the mind that "needs" to hear this message because it is the mind that doesn't understand its own true nature which is nothing mental.
Thank you for saying “all” and thank you Eckhart Tolle for saying “some have been victimized more than others.” Several mainstream narratives are fighting for who is most victimized, many are projecting when they tell people to “stop acting like victims” when really they’re just tired of hearing about the problems of marginalized people, and they feel victimized by always hearing about things they don’t care about. They do this without realizing that it isn’t weird for marginalized people to want to speak up. Ultimately, the best solution is for individuals to awaken to their own egoic tendencies, I am grateful for the opportunity to do so in my life. Then one can begin to respond to people who are either just complaining or legitimately struggling for dignified survival with more grace and understanding, less circular arguing.
I love this reply! So innocent and fun! And humor does break through the ego! 😊🙏🏻
I will surpass this… I do not feel superior in any way. Recently something happened to trigger the memories. If anything it diminishes how I see myself… pushing through. What makes me sad though that it’s hurting someone I love. Forgiveness is a necessary action. We must forgive to be free🙏💜🙏
And i luh tolle, and i luh non dualism. But pride , " ego", accomplishments, goals, etc. Aren't always bad things
Victim identity is at the core of the social justice/'woke' movement and is rampant is Western society right now. Truly, I hope we begin to transcend this stage of development soon before too much irreversible damage is done.
Agreed.
Agreed. Eckhart also very tactfully adressed that topic a couple of times; the ideological "pendulum swing" on the west being a perpetuation of the ego, etc...
In his interview with Dave Rubin IIRC
There is self identification with memory. Ego steeps in superiority, can't tolerate inferiority.
Even by being inferior, you feel superior to anyone who is not as big a victim as you are! There is also collective victimhood.
Every form of egoic identify is a delusion. Stronger the ego, greater the delusion.
Thanks Eckhart.
God bless you echarte; excellent work
Eckart, you have brilliantly highlighted the route cause of many of the problems in western culture. 👍
Growing up I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually! I have not found a place within me for forgiveness for any of these horrific things that were done to me. Sometimes I feel I was a victim but in reality I was victimized by people who didn't care who they hurt and I just happened to be there, a target, for them to take out on me whatever it was that was going on in them at that time....You are so right, Eckhart, this is simply the condition of human life on this earth. So sad! 😔
Peter K NYK, I hear you. Oh the trauma/pain you must have suffered at the hands of unconscious people in your life. So sorry for your pain. As Eckhart is teaching us, we should not let the victimization we experienced become our identity. You are NOT a victim. Forgiveness will come when you have compassionate understanding that the people who hurt you did so from a state of unconsciousness, having no awareness of the true essence of their being. Remember, when Jesus was crucified he stated, "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do."
@@yvonneh5334 thank you so very much for your wonderful compassionate comment! Letting go of the victimization is what I need to learn to do. Thank you so much for pointing out just that. Yes, the trauma/pain that I went through was often unbearable. Eckhart often points out that in acceptance one can find freedom! We can hope that that is possible! 🙏🏻
Thank you so much!
The forgiveness is for yourself. Similar to a mom, forgiving a driver who killed her son. She does not want to hold that anger inside, forgiveness releases it. Forgiveness is not forgetting, as well man is accountable to the justice system. A mom may forgive her childs killer, but he still goes to jail for a long time.
8:29 scare the crap out of me, thought it was ego revealed itself
Thanks very much Eck-heart. Appreciated.
Very Important Speciali for me Thanks so much for sharing 🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕🌿🌿🌿
8:29 Why on earth is this image inserted here ? Is this a subliminal thing and if so what does it do ?
I think he's talking to someone on video chat and that's their face, it seems to be part of a longer discussion. It is a little weird though lol
@@vintage_violet aah that makes sense, kinda like an artifact, i'm looking for a conspiracy where you're just observing the obvious lol.
Ha I thought similarly
that's the ego
@@johnconstable8512 Good One !
Thank You Eckhtrt for This !!!
DO YOU ,OR ANYBODY THAT SEES THIS REQUEST HAVE SUGGESTIONS HOW TO HEAL IN THE BEST WAY TROUGH ANY KIND OF PROCESS ?
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE
LOVE AND LIGHT
Thank you for your wise words.
Yes. Thank you.
thank you to free us from self identification
Tanks for your visdom.🙏❤️
Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much
Thank you!
🌸Thank you very much, for this teaching.🌸
Liebe Grüße aus Remscheid.🤗😘🙏
Thank you 💞🌌🌳
Peace....
The essence of the victim mentality is not wanting to be responsible for one's own life, and the spiritual food of the victim mentality also comes from feeling anxious about not being able to find someone who can take over the responsibility in one's own life. That’s why I don’t like mainstream artists, they are ALL telling and teaching us how to be a more Irresponsible and more complaining negative people.
Thank you
Amazing thank you Eckhart
Master，you are right.
sending you lots of 💕