"Everything happens for a reason" -- and other lies I've loved | Kate Bowler | TED

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 3,2 тыс.

  • @evelenebray346
    @evelenebray346 3 года назад +1315

    That she unashamedly cried whilst giving this speech, is absolutely beautiful, and so incredibly healthy.

    • @RalphieMaysGhost
      @RalphieMaysGhost 2 года назад

      I think shes a smug, self indulgent narcissist that cant get over how great she think she is. Nothing inspiring about that.

  • @vashwini3102
    @vashwini3102 4 года назад +2810

    Whenever she is talking about her son she got emotional and tears were rolling in her eyes..she is more worried about what would happen to her son if something happens to her than her health..this is how a mother loves her children 🙏

    • @doc2590
      @doc2590 4 года назад +34

      It's a shame, not all mothers love there children. If the mother was treated badly and unloved as a child she usually treats her own the same way.

    • @ssshrestha3401
      @ssshrestha3401 4 года назад +16

      i also feel this way sometimes.i have been ill for so long and the only thing keep hunting me that what would happen to my baby girl if something happened to me😔

    • @thesocialintrovertchronicles
      @thesocialintrovertchronicles 4 года назад +50

      @@doc2590 that's not true. Not every mother who went through an abusive or neglected childhood treats their kids in the same way too.

    • @hiii6450
      @hiii6450 4 года назад +28

      @@thesocialintrovertchronicles Is it ok if I add on to what you said?
      Sometimes it makes them strive to be better, if they know that the behaviour is wrong, most likely.
      Even sometimes parenrs that didn't grow up in a abusive and/or neglected childhood, are abusive and/or neglectful.
      Some do repeat the behaviour, others don't, or create the behaviour, it just depends on the person.

    • @thesocialintrovertchronicles
      @thesocialintrovertchronicles 4 года назад +12

      @@hiii6450 this is exactly what I am talking about 💪🏻...... Some knowing how the toxic environment and parenthood "damaged" they embark on a better parenthood journey themselves.

  • @everlongwusic1267
    @everlongwusic1267 4 года назад +3779

    "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
    It´s about learning to dance in the rain"

    • @susanllequis3832
      @susanllequis3832 3 года назад +2

      YES. YES. YES

    • @leylamiller7924
      @leylamiller7924 3 года назад +7

      Hahahah what a beautiful expression

    • @lionking7360
      @lionking7360 3 года назад +4

      Yuppp!! We should wait for the storm to pass and never lose hope ! Morning comes after night ! The brightest morning comes after the darkest stormful night!

    • @Angel-xm5ck
      @Angel-xm5ck 3 года назад +1

      Nice idea 😊💡

    • @barbarasevenoaks6821
      @barbarasevenoaks6821 3 года назад +6

      I have heard this saying but there are times that sheltering from the rain is the best thing to do. It always passes. All things pass.

  • @ireneguan4010
    @ireneguan4010 5 лет назад +4529

    “The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without a purpose” One of my favorite movie line.

    • @elijahgarcia5504
      @elijahgarcia5504 4 года назад +33

      Trying doing a deep research on purpose, youll be surprised

    • @Mel-ue7sb
      @Mel-ue7sb 4 года назад +6

      @@cleocanta OMG, thank you for reading in my mind

    • @cherifatta2627
      @cherifatta2627 4 года назад +46

      The purpose of life is just to be lived

    • @maxatlasschneider8977
      @maxatlasschneider8977 4 года назад +40

      The purpose of life is to live and enjoy life and do good to other people.

    • @zapkvr
      @zapkvr 4 года назад +13

      One is inevitable. The other one isn't. Look up the definition of tragedy. Oh and having baby is not the answer to anyone's misery. It's offensive to even suggest it

  • @ellabl4184
    @ellabl4184 5 лет назад +1921

    "I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel like more than enough".
    Thank you, honey, for this beautiful words!

    • @mahadevswamy6088
      @mahadevswamy6088 5 лет назад +6

      Nice comment regarding this talk

    • @civilengineer2734
      @civilengineer2734 5 лет назад +6

      Yes if your love you see love everywhere

    • @samarthatilwankar8605
      @samarthatilwankar8605 4 года назад +1

      @@mahadevswamy6088bmo bpĺ

    • @chinguyen4108
      @chinguyen4108 4 года назад +6

      Hope everyone will.have a happy life❤❤❤

    • @anil4utube1
      @anil4utube1 4 года назад +1

      We will rise from those dark days, amen.(Ohm) Just praying to my god

  • @daisiespence1160
    @daisiespence1160 4 года назад +3488

    I listened to this after losing 5 relatives in 4 months 2 weeks including my mom and sister. Many people asked me why? Why would God do this? and my answer was I don't ask why, all I do is try to live and love and be thankful that I had them in my life.

    • @justinejaneabanto776
      @justinejaneabanto776 4 года назад +134

      i'm always praying for people who had lost their loved ones. i wish i could hug you :(

    • @ORNINNA
      @ORNINNA 4 года назад +58

      May they all rest in peace. You're such a strong, loving and thankful person.

    • @patrizzia478
      @patrizzia478 4 года назад +44

      it's been 3 weeks, how are you doing? are you good? I hope you are, stranger

    • @zaidi684
      @zaidi684 3 года назад +7

      @daisie You are blessed one.... I'll let you know later

    • @bonithechubbypotato5100
      @bonithechubbypotato5100 3 года назад +7

      That must be rough :(
      I'm sorry for your loss

  • @luqcrusher
    @luqcrusher 5 лет назад +893

    “We want to live in a world where nothing is lost.”
    Like an arrow through the heart.

    • @CodyOsborn1
      @CodyOsborn1 5 лет назад

      Too true ; _ ;

    • @willardchi2571
      @willardchi2571 5 лет назад +3

      In such a world, nothing much would be gained.

    • @lorishu48103
      @lorishu48103 3 года назад +1

      Also in such a world overpopulation

  • @Ana-wx8jm
    @Ana-wx8jm 5 лет назад +3312

    I am reminded of marcus aurelius' quote: "Death and life, success and failure, pain and pleasure, wealth and poverty, all these happen to good and bad alike, and they are neither noble nor shameful - and hence neither good nor bad"

    • @williamparker2922
      @williamparker2922 5 лет назад +19

      Some are good

    • @HotelPapa100
      @HotelPapa100 5 лет назад +6

      good or bad in a moral sense

    • @stevepowsinger733
      @stevepowsinger733 5 лет назад +6

      He was one of the greatest stoics - a philosophy for today as much as ancient Rome.

    • @mysticpizza02
      @mysticpizza02 5 лет назад +19

      I had a friend who is spoiled entitled nasty evil manipulative adulterer who won lots of money, and I try everyday to be a good person and have nothing, being good honest gets you nothing!

    • @kathleenmorris7707
      @kathleenmorris7707 5 лет назад +37

      @@mysticpizza02 unless you recognize being good and honest as valuable in and of themselves... which I, at least, believe they are. I believe it in part because of the pain I feel when I, or others, are NOT this way... the pain helps me know what truly does matter... I do hope though that things look up for you as time goes on. In the meantime, I hope you will be proud of your own good qualities, and compassionate with the part of you that suffers.

  • @lacruserrelativo5719
    @lacruserrelativo5719 4 года назад +3558

    “Life will break your heart. Life may take everything you have and everything you’ve hoped for. But there is one gratifying truth I believed in: I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel more than enough.” ~ Kate Bowler

    • @AllieBFromTN
      @AllieBFromTN 4 года назад +19

      Chills

    • @maloususada1401
      @maloususada1401 4 года назад +4

      Exactly

    • @aadayav7598
      @aadayav7598 3 года назад +20

      And i cried😢

    • @sumitv90
      @sumitv90 3 года назад

      Contentment

    • @aizamarieeyy4903
      @aizamarieeyy4903 3 года назад +11

      These are the exact phrases that I need to read right now. I think it's kinda synonymous to 'fall seven times and stand up at eight!' 💪

  • @tommyv8
    @tommyv8 5 лет назад +976

    A courageous woman, beautifully articulate, poetry in motion: “I am learning to live and to love without counting the cost, without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost.”

    • @bthomp6694
      @bthomp6694 5 лет назад +4

      tommy v check out her podcast “Everything Happens”!! She’s incredible.

  • @nbk065
    @nbk065 5 лет назад +799

    Six years ago, I got an accident and it burned me about 20% and cut my ankle seriously. I blamed the world because of it against me.
    Six years after now, I thank the world because it did not take my life away, and I am enjoying every beautiful place around this world.

    • @ylsflv
      @ylsflv 5 лет назад +12

      Hope ur better now my friend!

    • @huynhaivinh2289
      @huynhaivinh2289 4 года назад +6

      happy for you

    • @navjeevan107
      @navjeevan107 4 года назад +7

      stay blessed 🙏😇
      life has countless beauty ... explore all

    • @jessicabarlow7412
      @jessicabarlow7412 4 года назад +3

      ❤️

    • @snltv6408
      @snltv6408 4 года назад +4

      Stay happy brother

  • @MuxiangP
    @MuxiangP 3 года назад +374

    I was in tears while/after watching her speech. It's beautifully written and honestly presented. She was worried, scared, and sad, but she was also strong, optimistic, and brave. Wish her full recovery!

  • @MohammedHAhmed-jn7pe
    @MohammedHAhmed-jn7pe 5 лет назад +506

    "I am learning to live and love without counting the cost" such a nice and touching words.

  • @AMorphicTool
    @AMorphicTool 4 года назад +2112

    "The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.
    Most people find that statement terrifying. The idea that the universe is truly random, that there is no plan, no reason, no logic.
    For me, that's the most beautiful part of this existence. There is no reason or guarantee for you to exist and yet, you do. You are a statistical improbability in orders of power beyond your own limited comprehension, all the power a deterministic universe could grant you pales in comparison to the obscene luck of your very existence.
    You are not special, but your fleeting cosmological moment to observe this universe that is both terrifying and beautiful is. Enjoy it, make memories and when your time inevitably ends remember one thing. Your life was undeniably your own, you are free.

    • @aricaice6447
      @aricaice6447 4 года назад +31

      this is so well thought of!

    • @2011ariesrules
      @2011ariesrules 4 года назад +56

      This statement made me cry as I am going through a very testing time, which makes no sense to me, but I believe and trust the universe.

    • @Mdias8923
      @Mdias8923 4 года назад +7

      You are so right 🙌

    • @ashikakishor6814
      @ashikakishor6814 4 года назад +6

      Woah.... That's beautiful

    • @bellsjingle8975
      @bellsjingle8975 4 года назад +10

      "Enjoy the decline" -Aaron Clarey

  • @msg3tr1ght
    @msg3tr1ght 4 года назад +457

    I lost my aunt 5 months ago to stage IV colon cancer. I myself am physically disabled. All my life, I’ve been fed platitudes and other theories to explain these things. Also told that my purpose is to “inspire” others. Thank you for not perpetuating any of that crap and for allowing me to feel simply human 💜

    • @patricktiamuh1147
      @patricktiamuh1147 3 года назад +31

      @@tysaiahhhhhj22 Who's the "us"? Stop trying to feel important. You're the one who fell on her comment and read it. No one forced you to.

    • @cedj3502
      @cedj3502 3 года назад +1

      God bless your heart 💜 🙏🏾

    • @manuelbaut1044
      @manuelbaut1044 3 года назад +3

      @@cedj3502 she’s An atheist

    • @zamiaramirez1390
      @zamiaramirez1390 3 года назад +14

      @@manuelbaut1044 ok as an atheist it doesn’t matter if someone blesses you in the name of their god because it means they still wish good intent on you.

    • @manuelbaut1044
      @manuelbaut1044 3 года назад +1

      @@zamiaramirez1390 it actually does

  • @sonyaberkenpas5071
    @sonyaberkenpas5071 4 года назад +582

    "But I have a son." And he will see this video someday and KNOW how much he is loved and how strong and beautiful his mother is.
    Also, I needed these words today. Your words on how to start living and loving without reasons and assurance that nothing will be lost....so powerful. Thank you.

  • @1ailAlia1
    @1ailAlia1 5 лет назад +1611

    Reasons? Life. Anything can happen to us regardless of our previous actions. Some people do evil all their lives and live long and happy without any troubles coming their way.
    Should we do/be 'good' expecting a reward? Or feeling like we're a good person? No. Maybe we should do good because it feels good to us.
    She is very eloquent and managed her tears pretty well for such an emotional topic.

    • @frankt9156
      @frankt9156 5 лет назад +36

      We should do good because it builds a better society for your kids.

    • @michaelcook3168
      @michaelcook3168 5 лет назад +47

      @@frankt9156 - The trouble here is that people have varying ideas as to what it means to 'do good', and what feels good to one might cause harm to another. There has got to be something more to it.

    • @poppyseed890
      @poppyseed890 5 лет назад +10

      Well, I was not able to manage my tears.......it hit too close to home....one of those messages you get on rare occasions.

    • @khalidsafir
      @khalidsafir 5 лет назад +16

      "Some people do evil all their lives and live long and happy without any troubles coming their way. " that's an interesting thought. If I was to try and test that idea, say swap "evil" in your theory with "selfish", for example - I would agree that it is possible to be selfish and make lots of money but not be selfish and happy. I say that from my experience and all sorts of psychological experiments which seem to link traditionally "good" acts to happiness e.g. ruclips.net/video/PsihkFWDt3Y/видео.html (TED talk on "How to buy happiness"). I could be wrong. I would be intrigued by your thoughts. By the way, I like thought provoking and honest discussions but could we keep the discussion polite (not saying you wont be) but it is a sad internet thing that everyone needs to make their points aggressively. Thanks.

    • @MindlessTube
      @MindlessTube 5 лет назад +11

      If you doing good to feel good, you still doing it for a reward, that reward being the good feeling. So maybe it be better to put it internal reward vs external reward?

  • @terrabites5868
    @terrabites5868 2 года назад +89

    when she still manages to be funny while delivering such a profound talk. i was ironically crying sad tears while laughing. her words are definitely what I needed today.

  • @paolovargas3989
    @paolovargas3989 4 года назад +356

    "I see that the world is jolted by events that are wonderful and terrible. Gorgeous and traggic. I can't reconcile the contradiction. Except that I am beginning to believe that these opposites do not cancel each other out. Life is so beautiful and life is so hard.
    I am learning to live and to love without counting the cost, without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost.
    Life will break your heart, and life may take everything you have, and everything you hope for. But I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then it will feel like more than enough".

    • @BobBob-fy4kr
      @BobBob-fy4kr 4 года назад +9

      I wrote these quotes on post it notes and hung them in my room. She had such amazing eloquence in way she speaks and the weight behind her words

    • @heatherseelochan5393
      @heatherseelochan5393 3 года назад +2

      wow beautiful

    • @dejacavu6259
      @dejacavu6259 3 года назад

      Right? Or Life of the Hindi or listening to a Monk. Its living in the moment. Appreciating Nirvana

    • @kekhaithue-tips
      @kekhaithue-tips 3 года назад +1

      When it's dark enough, you will see the stars.

  • @djvelocity
    @djvelocity 5 лет назад +293

    “people stumbling around in the debris of dreams they thought they were entitled to” 😳😮🤩🔥🙌 this is absolute poetry!

  • @techmengtang1045
    @techmengtang1045 3 года назад +103

    I lost both my parents in 2021. It was a very dark time for me & still feel like it is. Our saying is that "The deads rest in peace, only the living remains in sadness" I'm sure they had felt the love & happiness throughout thier lives. Thank you for your healing speech. I wish you all well. Do good deeds will get good in return.

    • @taaviofficial10
      @taaviofficial10 Год назад +1

      Lost my mum n m dying donno where to go to bring her back I. As m isolated now 💔

    • @renjieli-tk1ci
      @renjieli-tk1ci Год назад

      Lost parents was sadness

  • @kristendawson5395
    @kristendawson5395 4 года назад +280

    It really is difficult when you're the one with cancer and people want you to reassure them there's a reason. I had a family member actually tell me that I was diagnosed with cancer because of the fact that I had done drugs in the past. I quit communicating with her because I felt like I had enough against me battling cancer. This talk was very real.

    • @user-vm5ud4xw6n
      @user-vm5ud4xw6n 2 года назад +7

      How tragic that someone would be so toxic saying something like that. Good that you don’t bother with them. Save your energy for the important stuff. Like getting well. God can use your circumstances for good. That is a promise in scripture. But in the book of Job we read that in this world man would have trouble as surely as sparks fly upwards. If you read the account of the apostle Paul you will see a man who knew what trouble was. And yet his heart remained steadfast!

    • @kristendawson5395
      @kristendawson5395 2 года назад +2

      @@user-vm5ud4xw6n I stay in The Word. I can’t imagine how my life would be if I rely on God. 🙏🏻

    • @user-vm5ud4xw6n
      @user-vm5ud4xw6n 2 года назад +1

      @@kristendawson5395 thats an odd reply. You stay in the word but you can’t imagine what your life would be if you relied on God? Is that really what you meant to say or was it that you can’t imagine what your life would be like Without God?

    • @kristendawson5395
      @kristendawson5395 2 года назад +1

      @@user-vm5ud4xw6n Oh my goodness! I left out a word. It was supposed to say, “I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I DIDN’T rely on God. I guess I need to proofread comments before I post them.
      God is first in my life.
      My son was killed in a car accident last month and I am still trusting God.

    • @user-vm5ud4xw6n
      @user-vm5ud4xw6n 2 года назад +3

      @@kristendawson5395 oh I am so sorry for your loss! My husband died 10 mos. ago and I was asking my friend about grief. Her daughter died, I think over 3 years ago. She said after she lost her she cried for 2 years. How heartbreaking!! I was just startled when I read your reply. I’m glad you are hanging onto Him. I am trying to do the same thing. I just switched churches where they have a woman’s group and I am looking forward to joining it. If I don’t get out and start participating in life I’m afraid of what will happen! Thankfully living with my son and his family have been a true blessing. They include me in some of their activities and my son is quick to give a hug when I need one. Ikwym about correcting my spelling in these replies. Looking over this one I found some seriously weird stuff. Good thing I rechecked. Take care and may the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face face shine on you and be gracious to you.; the Lord turn his face towards you , and give you peace!” Num. 6:24-26 (NIV)

  • @vinodhinikalidhasan7148
    @vinodhinikalidhasan7148 5 лет назад +1931

    "I'm learning to live and love
    without counting the cost
    Without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost" ❤🎐

  • @dondressel452
    @dondressel452 3 года назад +51

    I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 63
    I couldn’t imagine being diagnosed with this dreaded disease at 35
    Life is full of surprises
    Some good
    Some not so good
    My love and prayers go out to her and her husband and little boy

  • @Thekingofwords
    @Thekingofwords 5 лет назад +152

    Everything she said, and all that she has experienced, should be in a book. One I would happily purchase for it's unfolding wisdom

    • @Tuckernectar
      @Tuckernectar 5 лет назад +14

      She does have a book. Called everything happens for a reason and other lies I've loved. It's fantastic.

    • @michaelaf6580
      @michaelaf6580 3 года назад +1

      She has written 3 amazing books! 2 of which are wonderful memoirs and follow this theme.

  • @_writerinthedark
    @_writerinthedark 4 года назад +145

    "Even in darkness there is beauty" its good to hear that you have family and friends that made you feel loved during those hard times, some people dont have.

    • @a.....6295
      @a.....6295 4 года назад +19

      True, she was truly blessed :)
      Some people can't even experience love before they were born
      Some people can't even experience love because they were born to a wrong place or time

    • @lorishu48103
      @lorishu48103 3 года назад

      Truth

  • @effie5238
    @effie5238 2 года назад +72

    How does someone, in such horrible circumstances, still have such strength of character, to see the beauty in the world? How can you still find it in your heart to laugh? This talk touched me so deeply. I hope she is able to see her son grow up & her husband lose his beautiful hair, with all my heart.

  • @bethanysaxton7351
    @bethanysaxton7351 5 лет назад +490

    “Life will break your heart.” Radical acceptance has helped me immensely. It is so easy to observe others and make assumptions about how much someone has endured. The truth is that we will all experience trauma. The mistake we make is comparing it to someone else’s. Tread lightly and live compassionately. 🌹

    • @tanadamico8396
      @tanadamico8396 5 лет назад +23

      I wish I could agree regarding 'everyone' experiencing trauma. Some have it SO much worse than others. Some people are lucky enough to breeze through life fairly smoothly, while other experience- too much to bear. With all due respect.

    • @b4b2getU
      @b4b2getU 5 лет назад +6

      Yup, life can super suck. One step a time

    • @GiGi-ky7ej
      @GiGi-ky7ej 5 лет назад +1

      Agree. Not everything has a reason

    • @Ludifant
      @Ludifant 5 лет назад +4

      @@tanadamico8396 I agree, there is nothing democratic about life. It isn´t fair. I think the trauma is switching to a new normal, that you regard as less than what you had, so that is basically a matter of opinion. Happiness is going the other way and still a matter of opinion. There will be some of that going on in every life, but the point was not that you should not compare it, but that you cannot. Like the speaker said, in every calamity there is room for appreciation. But it´s the appreciation that makes you happy, not the calamity. There can be great tragedy in a smooth life without appreciation. I don´t know, but I don´t think it is a helping thought that somebody else has it worse OR that somebody else has it better, because both are distractions from appreciation.

    • @onepiecefannN1
      @onepiecefannN1 Месяц назад

      Thats interesting.. i think that thinking that you can be in a less good sitatuion and looking at all the good things yoy have is very nice and is a good way to live its also ok to be sad it sucks but its part of life and you just gotta go through it sometimes 🤷‍♂️ and think about it a bit talk to someone.. and see what you can do and keep going slowly but surley dont pressure yourself​@@Ludifant

  • @LesyaKali
    @LesyaKali 5 лет назад +2028

    This is one of the most beautiful and honest speeches I've ever heard on TED! You are a brave, intelligent and very deep person! ❤

    • @Majha-06
      @Majha-06 5 лет назад

      hyy dear

    • @omrishalev
      @omrishalev 5 лет назад +1

      Omg ! So true ! We all love your Kate ! Such an amazing person !!

    • @soukaina4722
      @soukaina4722 5 лет назад

      I get you

    • @karenday9109
      @karenday9109 5 лет назад +1

      Lesia Kali Well said

    • @shizzle1975
      @shizzle1975 5 лет назад +3

      I agree. This should be listened to every day as soon as we wake up

  • @Janjoinfinite
    @Janjoinfinite 3 года назад +62

    I lost my mom and my sister tragically 18 years ago. Everything happens for a reason. I couldn’t think of how many times I heard that, and until now, those reasons are still hard to find. Maybe there is one and maybe there is none. Who knows? Eventually, I got tired of looking for the explanation and instead, I live a life with better understanding of its sweetness and bitterness.
    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @c.j.9248
    @c.j.9248 5 лет назад +176

    "Life is so beautiful and life is so hard." Yes that is so incredibly true. I am still waiting to experience the "even in the darkness, there will be beauty and there will be love" part.

    • @contemplatinggod2791
      @contemplatinggod2791 5 лет назад +3

      Even in the darkness,there will b beauty ONLY if u are lucky cos thrs no form in darknes i knw.

  • @theresac9099
    @theresac9099 5 лет назад +423

    "I'd love to hear it." I'm so using that.

    • @whatsupbudbud
      @whatsupbudbud 5 лет назад +5

      And what if you do? What if the reason for your (loved one's) premature death is nothing more than a recessive gene that shouldn't be passed on to future generations. Don't take life too seriously, don't plan and expect so much - you'll never get out alive.

    • @smrfi
      @smrfi 5 лет назад +8

      @@whatsupbudbud sorry but you're the one who sounds so serious. Nothing wrong with using that response. Of course we would like to know why. Will we know it? Of course everyone knows that most of the time, no

    • @meanrameth2795
      @meanrameth2795 5 лет назад

      Why do yo like to listen?

  • @bangonsheent.-qn1hr
    @bangonsheent.-qn1hr Год назад +6

    Whenever she is talking about her son she got emotional and tears were rolling in her eyes, she is more worried about what would happen to her son if something happens to her than her health. This is how a mother loves her children.

  • @silvagomez8511
    @silvagomez8511 5 лет назад +599

    I can’t be the only one that start crying during the first 3 min

    • @je.mengullo
      @je.mengullo 5 лет назад +8

      Can't hold it in the last 3

    • @nalinchheang7745
      @nalinchheang7745 4 года назад +1

      Silva Gomez me too

    • @sridash
      @sridash 4 года назад +1

      The speaker cried too

    • @ayesharashid03
      @ayesharashid03 4 года назад

      Silva Gomez same here..

    • @ezekiel.manuel5459
      @ezekiel.manuel5459 4 года назад

      My goodness.. before 3mins im already crying even after the talk im still crying for a minute or 2. whhhheeww so heartfelt.

  • @MsJackieHoliday
    @MsJackieHoliday 5 лет назад +91

    This is what we are being taught in order to be good people and good citizens. The truth is, we just get what we get. Often with no reason behind it. Maybe, just maybe, to learn a very valuable lesson: we shouldn't think we are better than others simply because we are good people. We shouldn't judge others or compare ourselves to them. We should humbly accept our own happenings and fight our own battles. Peace.

  • @LisaGemini
    @LisaGemini 2 года назад +33

    As a woman who survived oral cancer I first got when I was only 26, I can relate to this young woman. She and I are part of the club nobody wants to join...but it profoundly changes your life. Every day is precious. Don't waste it.

  • @Varsha123Varsha
    @Varsha123Varsha 5 лет назад +16

    This got me so emotional.. When she said life will break your heart.. Tuff crowd, she deserved a standing ovation

  • @bettermiyatwin
    @bettermiyatwin 3 года назад +54

    This has to be one of the most beautiful speeches I've ever heard. The way she told her story and realizations made me feel so emotional. I was on the verge of tears. I suddenly remember Namjoon's lyrics in Trivia: Love: "I live so I love." I hope she's doing well and she's staying healthy.

  • @vinayagamoorthyvinayagamoo5220
    @vinayagamoorthyvinayagamoo5220 3 года назад +35

    I listened to this when I was in depression about my surgery and got relief.

  • @muyou6589
    @muyou6589 5 лет назад +154

    I think one of the things that we rarely truly accept is that we are always dying

    • @aini9528
      @aini9528 5 лет назад +4

      If we are regening/creating life at a faster rate than it is diminishing wouldn't it be right to say at that time, that we're actually living?

    • @muyou6589
      @muyou6589 5 лет назад +2

      @@aini9528 Firstly, could you please define what do you mean by saying "regening/creating life"? I ask you to do so, partly because I'm not a native English speaker so I'm not very sure about the meaning of "regening" in this context, and partly because my definition of "creating" is to make something from nothing, thus, something human beings can't achieve.
      Secondly, I think "dying" is aplicable to anything that has a life, and "living" is not because just as you've mentioned, we need to do something to be able to say we're "living". And this just reminds me of a quote by Oscar Wilde: "to live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all".
      In summary, I think "living", "dying" and "life" are all different things.

    • @aini9528
      @aini9528 5 лет назад +1

      @@muyou6589 Sure, in a philosophical way 'to live' and just simply 'to exist' can be seen as different things. I thought ur initial post was about the physical quantities of living ie. cells reproducing etc.
      What I meant with regen is sort of like if u get a wound, and it heals, that's kind of regening, and also when u grow and do activities ur body changes to affect that changes. U do sports = u become more adapt at doing those sports... etc u calculate math, ur brain becomes more adept in that.
      And creating life, I mean with babies. Maybe nurturing things such as plants and other living things.
      And when we put these two together, I think if we are doing those things at a faster rate than what we are experiencing the dying part of the cycle I think it would be proper to call it Living. We can say 'things will die' since it's natural, but the 'Act of dying' I think is reserved to more later parts in the 'cycle' or life, or to ill individuals etc that have that conditioned unfortunately forced upon them.

    • @aini9528
      @aini9528 5 лет назад +1

      But I'm just iterating that in your initial post you talked about "are always dying" = ie. the _continuous_ act of dying, which I think doesn't hold ground if we take in to account all the aforementioned and that life can in certain cases outpace death. ^

    • @J__C__
      @J__C__ 5 лет назад

      Unfortunately, some of us realize and come to accept that eventually we will die before before others. I did at the ripe age of 6 years old when my uncle died. It's hard not to get myself worked up thinking about it, TBH. I don't want to die. I'm really afraid of what's after this.

  • @sophialohani759
    @sophialohani759 3 года назад +27

    "Life is so beautiful and life is so hard" this is absolutely true and there is beauty in the darkness. Kate Bowler is the very strongest womam and i am very thankful for such a incredible and beautiful speech.

  • @rachelroman8541
    @rachelroman8541 4 года назад +106

    “I hope I will live a long time”
    Gets me every time 🥺

  • @christinel.m5112
    @christinel.m5112 5 лет назад +350

    I’ve seen so many Ted talks. This is one of the best. How this talented, wonderful woman holds it together for the duration of this poignant talk is inspiring. I love her x

    • @Charles-xs5zz
      @Charles-xs5zz 3 года назад +2

      I totally agree. Can you recommend some other good ones too?

    • @letoxenakis8726
      @letoxenakis8726 Год назад

      ​@@Charles-xs5zz I suggest you to watch Eddie woo's tedx . It is what I call simply beautiful.

  • @englishlanguagewithnina5965
    @englishlanguagewithnina5965 5 лет назад +57

    Her honesty, courage, grief, and love are a gift to us. Thank you so much for sharing with and teaching us!

  • @BingoBilingual
    @BingoBilingual Год назад +5

    Life will break your heart, but you'l find love at those moments. Words of wisdom. Thank you so much!

  • @dish_care
    @dish_care 5 лет назад +128

    The first video on TED when speaker washed face with own tears because her words are very closed to life and the other life.

  • @sinharc
    @sinharc 2 года назад +5

    Could you cry while watching this, at times pain is one of the best experience of life. If you cried you could feel you connect with her emotions.

  • @elenevans3505
    @elenevans3505 2 года назад +15

    I agree. It's not "Everything happens for a reason" but "We make a reason why everything happens" ... we need to give ourselves credit for the wonderful things that happen in our lives as well as the challenges we overcome

  • @byronwheeler4210
    @byronwheeler4210 5 лет назад +119

    May you live a long life, Kate, and if this talk should serve as your legacy...well done, my dear, well done.

  • @artcraft-f9r
    @artcraft-f9r 4 года назад +7

    I almost cried..I just wanted to hug her..She is beauty. And she is strong.

  • @araeaien1614
    @araeaien1614 4 года назад +24

    "life will break your heart... I believe that in the darkness, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel like more than enough" Oh my gosh no TED talk has ever made me ugly cry. This is just what i was looking for. Been having a difficult time lately and trying to make sense of it or justify it but no, everything here made sense.

  • @angeloc8712
    @angeloc8712 5 лет назад +685

    This video was, beautiful, touching and so incredibly terrifying.

  • @laporekennetha.3147
    @laporekennetha.3147 3 года назад +45

    This speaker made me even more realize that my situation is nothing compared to other people's circumstances. Thank you for making me realize the in-depth meaning of gratitude and for giving me a little hope. I hope you will live a longer life that you and your doctors have expected. 🥰

  • @samuelravelo9636
    @samuelravelo9636 11 месяцев назад +3

    Everything happens for a reason but we will never understand it. Praying for beautiful and strong Kate.

  • @oumaimamarsli5561
    @oumaimamarsli5561 4 года назад +3

    how can we hug people virtually , i really wanna hug her , she is pure

  • @gsentertainment8604
    @gsentertainment8604 5 лет назад +272

    Of the billion videos I have seen on RUclips, I choose to ask this question on this one:
    "How can this video have any dislikes?"

    • @boukman3668
      @boukman3668 4 года назад +28

      The proof that no matter what you say, there will allways be someone to dislike it. Thats why trying to apleat to everyone is futile. Just the act of thinking by your self is ofensive.

    • @richardjones9007
      @richardjones9007 4 года назад +16

      Shiv Kumar I can think of one reason. While beautifully expressed, and rooted in the personal experience, the speech does not resonate with me substantively. It was all about one person’s personal journey. I have my own experience with a cancer diagnosis, while my children were still young, and all I could think about was how to prepare them for life without their father, and how I could prolong the life I would give them. All other soul-searching about the meaning of life and the reasons therefore were completely beside the point. So I can like this video for its impassioned presentation, but still not like it for its substantive content. It’s simply did not speak to me.

    • @virtualarmy4716
      @virtualarmy4716 4 года назад +3

      @@richardjones9007 for me. the reason is, i just don't like the way she speak, i understand her feeling, but it sounds like she speak while she is crying all the time, i just feel pity her not inspired. i prefer to watch ted talk with regular voice even with such sad story.

    • @victorrus01
      @victorrus01 4 года назад +16

      @@virtualarmy4716 yeah, but you gotta understand that it's hard for her not to cry. She's trying her best to keep it together. She was still fighting cancer when she did this Ted Talk, so I'm sure they were tough times.

    • @araeaien1614
      @araeaien1614 4 года назад +9

      Maybe they're still rooted in the belief that everything happens for a reason and what she said just didnt resonate with them.. On one hand, this is just what i was looking for so i agree with it and found how she shared her presentation quite moving and sincere

  • @mitaescandon5740
    @mitaescandon5740 Год назад +6

    "But I have a son." I can relate to that too well. That was the first thing that crossed my mind when I was diagnosed: my kids. Currently fighting it AND convinced I will beat it. 💪🏻Kate, you WILL live a very long life. Stay strong.

  • @pennyyu2680
    @pennyyu2680 5 лет назад +5

    "I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel like more than enough". I love it so much.

  • @warvdine
    @warvdine 5 лет назад +29

    "They offerred me this little piece of reasssurance and I clung to it. They said:
    'When the feelings recede like the tides, they will leave an imprint.'
    And they do.... and it is not proof of anything. And it is nothing to boast about, it was just a gift."
    Things happen. And those things don't prove anything. Things just happen.

  • @odetthempiroso4605
    @odetthempiroso4605 Год назад +4

    This is the most wonderful talk I've heard all my life. I've watched this multiple times and still feel emotional. I prayed for you Kate that up until this very moment you're still in good health. God uses your life to inspire others. ❤❤❤

  • @ucminhle9906
    @ucminhle9906 3 года назад +8

    i want to show my huge respect towards this mother, i was getting goose bumps when she mentioned her son, wish you the best !!

  • @marrion25
    @marrion25 4 года назад +30

    I literally clapped when she said 'thank you '. Only then I realized I was watching a RUclips video. It seemed so live

  • @xeinha375
    @xeinha375 2 года назад +5

    It is given that her speech is certainly profound and poetic. However, I also acknowledge how favorable and understandable her voice is - with those genuine emotions. I love this. I love you, Kate. I hope you know how wonderful your soul is.

  • @filyre4132
    @filyre4132 3 года назад +7

    Hearing the pain makes me so sad. People who have lived through pain will truly appreciate what she said.

  • @Apach3e3
    @Apach3e3 5 лет назад +120

    Yes, when the lie of "positive thoughts" people keep pushing crash, it hurts. I know the feeling ... we have so comfortable lives that we forget how brutal and unfair life is. btw nice talk.

  • @joshualuzada2329
    @joshualuzada2329 Год назад +2

    The facial expression of the speaker is good. The voice of the speaker is clear and good, she speaks with eye contact to the audience. The speaker is confident of what she says.

  • @marwamirgani999
    @marwamirgani999 4 года назад +27

    I can’t even begin to imagine what she went through. She’s so brave it’s fascinating and inspiring. I loved your talk and I hope you live a very long life

  • @najouha11
    @najouha11 5 лет назад +21

    I also have a child ..By becoming a mother, we think more about our child than ourselves. She is very honest .. her speech touched me :'( ;'( Such an amazing person !!

  • @zamiaramirez1390
    @zamiaramirez1390 3 года назад +6

    I remember when my mom was dying and watching how people who she hadn’t seen in years would reach out to her to wish her well and in her death even her brother who had been gone for year no contact came. It was truly upsetting realizing people only seem to care when youre dying but at the same time im sure she felt the love that was talked about

    • @DaveBuildsThings
      @DaveBuildsThings Год назад

      This is the reason I will not have a funeral. If someone didn't have the time to see me while I was alive I will not give them the time to see me after I am gone. The people I love and those that love me see me all the the time. The rest can decide if not seeing me while alive was worth it.

  • @violatahta4022
    @violatahta4022 4 года назад +11

    "That the good things happen to good people". After she said this it made me aware of being better to myself and the people around me.

  • @hanikj5757
    @hanikj5757 4 года назад +5

    How articulate she is.. nobody can truly relate to somebody else's suffering however hard we try to be in other's shoes. I hope she will have a long beautiful life she really deserves. Thank you darling for this sensational speech with your tearful, beautiful voice and eloquent eyes ❤

  • @urj2532
    @urj2532 4 года назад +15

    I’ve never thought a Ted talk would make me cry :’) Hope she’s fine every now and then

  • @x__yoursonly
    @x__yoursonly 4 года назад +5

    I always instantly love TED Talks that have the speaker crying. It feels real, raw and pure

  • @dubaipreneur6239
    @dubaipreneur6239 3 года назад +4

    We all need to be loved, day by day the desire to find that elusive life partner to grow old with gets stronger. We need support group to keep us standing still when life’s storms hit us.

  • @GreenMM_11
    @GreenMM_11 5 лет назад +15

    "Before was better" --- yes! It's perfectly okay to feel this way! It's okay to not be okay!
    Such a taboo topic: we yearn to find out the reason for bad things happening to good people, but when we're honest with ourselves and the anger takes over because we can't discern a reason, we hide our true feelings out of shame, because SURELY there's a reason, EVERYONE around me keeps saying, "everything happens for a reason!"
    Won't even get into the notion perpetuated by religion that "suffering is good." Makes my head spin.

    • @riverdeep399
      @riverdeep399 5 лет назад +1

      GreenM&M_11 Thank you.
      I feel like I'm in a bad jam but still have a way to fall. A axe over my head.
      What you said put things into perspective for me. :)
      Best wishes to you. young

  • @ЮрийКикойтов
    @ЮрийКикойтов 3 года назад +4

    I wish Kate to keep this Gospel, this blessed Message in her eyes, in her heart! Thank you, Kate! It is big support for all of us!💌

  • @tuliskuasal9848
    @tuliskuasal9848 3 года назад +4

    In Islamic theology what she’d been through is also explained. The more you’re faithful and good, the more you get a life test. Sometimes the test is a good thing, sometimes is a bad things. But the bad one, doesnt like a punishment to makes you horrible. Instead the test is makes you stronger, wise, understand more the reality of this fragile world. And more important makes you to know more of God, experienced His very existence through His help and the peace given to your heart. I just feel relatable for what she said and what i taught in Islam. Very beautiful :”)

  • @bennyanneabarientos4814
    @bennyanneabarientos4814 5 лет назад +13

    “Life will break your heart indeed” and Life is what you make it!

  • @KristiPelegrin
    @KristiPelegrin 5 лет назад +4

    This lovely lady speaks of a fundamental truth that every ear should hear. I aspire to be her.

  • @shashantkhemka518
    @shashantkhemka518 4 года назад +4

    Tears rolling from eyes, while seeing her heart speak out.

  • @JVanProduction
    @JVanProduction 4 года назад +24

    Honestly, I wish this Ted Talk was around in my 20’s. But it sums up everything that I’ve felt for quite some time. Religion constantly feeds that notion that if you are good to god that he will reward you. I remember how I would constantly worry that I did something wrong and that’s why I was hurting or upset. When I studied religion deeper, I realized the many contradictions in the text. We have a “will” but yet everything is planned for us.
    My atheist friends would tell me that we weren’t that special. Just a speck of dust in the wind.
    We give purpose and meaning to the tragedies that happen to us and to our own happiness. We can learn from the trials and tribulations that we go through but it doesn’t mean we deserved them. But I guess that’s the beauty too. Through other’s pains they can teach us about the beauty and mystery that life is.

  • @Bunny47-g5s
    @Bunny47-g5s 5 лет назад +40

    I know and i have to speak to myself "be positive, be positive, it will be ok". But it is so hard 😭. And really hard when it is only you
    Health is really the most important thing

    • @aabrakadaabra7058
      @aabrakadaabra7058 4 года назад +2

      We suffer only because we want things to be the way we want them to be. When we realize that there is literally nothing which is in our control, the suffering evaporates. The most important thing is to come out of the delusion that everything happens for a reason. Our life is just a joke a literally has no meaning. So try to enjoy the joke rather than being serious.

  • @Katelyn3666
    @Katelyn3666 4 года назад +16

    This is one of the more powerful Ted talks I've seen and she's amazing for getting up on stage and sharing her story.

  • @divineangels7219
    @divineangels7219 5 лет назад +9

    I felt that I was presented such truth under such heartbreaking circumstances.
    But I wish you healing and a long life filled with love and dreams.. you are a gift ❤️

  • @mid-zz6ct
    @mid-zz6ct 4 года назад +6

    Watching this talk was life-changing - truly the most beautiful and moving 14 minutes. Thank you, Ms. Bowler, for your candor and for opening your heart to all of us observers.

  • @rinkeemishra
    @rinkeemishra 2 года назад +7

    It broke my heart listening the words, but one thing I would always remember is the strength and hope she has ❤️

  • @lekshmianilkumar6808
    @lekshmianilkumar6808 5 лет назад +36

    That was literally the best speech I have ever heard. And lord, it was touching and inspiring at the same time. Fell in love with her and her sense of himoir .

  • @sarahranjbarian9587
    @sarahranjbarian9587 4 года назад +5

    When she said that she is well now, I was like THANK GOD sighing in relief. Was it just me?

  • @mostguitarswins
    @mostguitarswins Год назад +7

    This has to be the most honest, insightful, courageous, vulnerable, amazing talk I have ever heard 💓💓💓💓

  • @周超平-d6s
    @周超平-d6s 5 лет назад +8

    these days I am going through really tough time. I am always a good person,care others and never do bad thing to others. however life gives me two shots. if there is a reason,then tell my why. I feel so helpless. this TED really touched me.

    • @lifeisshortpeace7783
      @lifeisshortpeace7783 5 лет назад +2

      This is life my friend. We don't know what's gonna happen next week.I started to realized this when I started working in a hospital. Nowadays I live in the present moment and don't worry about next week for it might never comes.

  • @mosienko1983
    @mosienko1983 5 лет назад +19

    This is truly a brave human being. A true hero.

  • @alishbafatima_
    @alishbafatima_ 2 года назад +1

    I've been listening Ted talks for a month.But, I learned something rare today how she weathered all the storms with calm and patience. Trials come in life to flourish ourself I do believe in that.

  • @d.i.ytricks2411
    @d.i.ytricks2411 5 лет назад +19

    Whenever anyone says ‘everything’s happens for a reason’, I always considered it to be something will happen in the future, I did not correlate it to the past

  • @karenhenderson1462
    @karenhenderson1462 5 лет назад +5

    what an amazing lady - I too was diagnosed with something rather nasty - and where as "things happen for a reason" may not be exactly the correct belief, I do believe that i have learnt a lot since the diagnosis, my appreciation of everyday has increased, friendship on a real level is healthier, I no longer fear death, I remember when I was told of my diagnosis saying "I can't die I have so much to do" I thought I was special but have now leant that none of us are special and in fact we are all dying! the minute we are born we are dying, so instead of being held in this state of why me, I have thrown myself into nurturing the loves in my life, my family, my friends and my career. I no longer fuss over the trivial stuff, and my mantra has now become "if it aint life threatening dont worry about it"..

    • @andybrown8613
      @andybrown8613 3 года назад

      Honestly speaking you guys look so amazing on your profile pic hope your day is as beautiful as you are?

  • @annguyenphuc2155
    @annguyenphuc2155 2 года назад

    as she talk about her son she is filled with emontional tears this is how a mother loves her child .I wish her full recovery!

  • @ramiabuslayyeh4875
    @ramiabuslayyeh4875 5 лет назад +10

    This is by far my favourite Ted talk I've ever seen. It's full of emotions and ideas. I can't get enough with it. Thank you

  • @saadiasabouri89
    @saadiasabouri89 Год назад +5

    No one can love you like your mother no one. She is a beautiful mom like all the mothers in the world 🥺🥺

  • @annguyenphuc2155
    @annguyenphuc2155 2 года назад +2

    thank you kate bowler for these emotional word 😘

  • @arelyestefaniac.5713
    @arelyestefaniac.5713 5 лет назад +10

    Thanks for letting us know that we're not the only ones knowing that "not everything happens for a reason" ❤

    • @mladendelic7284
      @mladendelic7284 5 лет назад +1

      A very dangerous world. Things happen without a reason.

  • @dhritimankatalia6504
    @dhritimankatalia6504 4 года назад +53

    13:27. Exactly ma'am. You can't truly experience the pleasure of eating until you have experienced the hardship of hunger. (We're all praying for your complete recovery and a long , long life :-) )