I never searched for hapinnes, I always followed my heart. For that reason I lived in 4 different countries, speak 4 languages, meet people with very different ideology than mine and worked hard. I also quit some jobs because I thought I wasn't adding something to the world. I'm poor, I live in a very old and not good house, but I'm happy, I'm doing something good and never ever felt depressed during my journey. And trust me, was tough, a tough journey...
@@someonesomeone25 I have felt that way at some point of my life--that suffering was unnecessary, purposeless. What could I have possibly learned from losing my boyfriend at 18 when he was driving 300 miles to go see me for the weekend as a surprise and a truck hit the car where he was sitting (not driving!)? Nothing. Just pain, pain, pain. And I understand there is more pain than that. So yes, I get your message.
The Apostle Muhammad knows this 1,400 years before George Orwell 😂😂Muslim children also know that, they memorize this verse: "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except that they may worship Me" 👏
@@nooneknowsmehhhh all religions are loaded with pagan superstitions.. gratitude can be observed whether you are religious or not.. thank the lord or the universe...pray to find your strength.. nothing else matters
Duggy Dugg Don't talk like this about Islam and you haven't read about it ever. u won't find effects of pray on body or mind like muslims prays. i know u don't believe in this thing but try to read about it from a scientific point of view. AND of course watch out for religious prejudice
@@nooneknowsmehhhh Norah i'm not picking on any one religion.. my opinion is they all contain too many pagan rituals and superstitions.. i am non religious.. but I probably say thank you lord (universe) at least 4 or 5 times a day.. for eyesight.. the ability to walk.. the life I had with my wife... her sister's family.. my 'religion' if you will, has one or two principles.. do unto others etc and be helpful to others and the environment.. only one prayer.. let me find my strength one of my desires is to reveal the CBD.. central bank dynasty.. for the debt monsters they are .. endangering the planet with criminal debt tactics... such as lending bogus scrip money to gvts.. as if it were legitimate fiat currency originated by real government departments.... maybe RUclips will help.........
I have been searching for the meaning of life since I came to know about life. Every word she spoke was what I discovered as well. Life in itself has no meaning, it’s empty. It is about what we fill in with in that empty space.
Think about it the fact that you believe it is meaningless gives it, it’s meaning...it’s a sandbox, meant for you to develop, experience and materialize your highest possible self
📮dear please recite the noble holy quran u will find peace and meaning also and it's my challenge for u whatever she said it's temporary motivation after somedays u will get back into anxiety depression actually wht's the reason behind this depression is that ur soul want peace ur soul willing to connect with true God and our true creator true God is only allah . please feed ur soul as ur feeding ur body and the food of our soul is zikr practice precautions from bad things connect with our true merciful God allah the only on who make everything don't tell lie to urself by giving ur own titles like mental health stigma Blah blah 😏
I teared up when she said that her father wanted his last words on earth to be his children's names. Such a powerful anecdote. Loved how that made me feel.
Shortly after turning 30, I had a serious existential crisis. I for the first time in my life felt that "fleeting" sensation. The topic of me one day dying was suddenly real. I know 30 is still relatively young, but I started to realize how with age, years seem to go by faster and faster, and it started to feel that instead of coasting to my later years, I was accelerating towards them. I thought it was dying I was afraid of, but I was wrong. It wasn't my fear of dying, it was my fear of dying and not having lived a meaningful life. THAT is what kept me up at night. I knew death is inescapable, but now I was frantically trying to figure out what I was going to do with whatever time I had left on this earth. The anxiety was bad, I mean, really really bad. I stopped caring for virtually every aspect of my life. Things that would normally excite me lost all significance. I kept asking "Why?" Why does any of this matter. I had no focal point. Shortly after, my mom almost died of a brain hemorrhage, the type with a very low survival rate. Miraculously, she survived, but not before three agonizing weeks in the hospital, and another two in rehabilitation centers. Seeing her fight so hard to stay alive made me snap out of it. I still don't know yet what my meaning is, but I know my mom had hers. It was being there for her family. In time I know I will come to understand what makes my life meaningful, until then, I appreciate every day that I wake up, and try and find the extraordinary in the ordinary. I found that traveling really reminded me of just how big the world is, and also, how small it it. So much to see still.
That's a very interesting perspective on life. I'm glad your mum survived that ordeal, it must have been hard for you. In terms of a meaning for life, i would advocate christianity, but of course you might have your objections :)
@@sarmiladas9734 We all are and will be thinking about this at one point of our lifes, we´ll also come to learn to live in a simple and peacefull life with ourselfs like op did... and we´ll be listening until the time comes :v
My notes: Happiness is not everything but also a live with meaning: A live with meaning means: 1.-Belonging: Relationship 2.-Purpose: Using your strengths to serve others 3.-Trascendence state: That kind of things in which you have so much passion, that you lose all sense of time and place 4.-Storytelling: You can edit, interpret and retell your story
For me it was in my third year of college. I had just moved out of mom's house and living in a city I had never been to with a roommate I just met. Then I got slammed with an existential crisis that shook the foundations of my very being, more specifically questioning my beliefs (religious and otherwise). I searched desperately trying to figure out what was wrong, but could only crash and burn. I failed my first semester of university (after two years of community college) because I ended up sleeping 15 hours a day, and playing video games for the rest. I went back home to live with mom again and try to think through things. I went to a couple of therapists, which helped, but they didn't have the answer I searched for. Finally, I looked back on my life to see what went wrong and realized something sobering. My entire teenage years and adult life up to that point were completely wasted. All I did was seek out pleasure in the moment and put up with what I was forced to do to be "successful." I went to school with a few vague ideas of what I wanted to do and thought that was all I needed. I was wrong, I was lazy. I sat down and thought about what really mattered in my life and finally decided on a purpose that is getting me through the rest of school right now. For my dream to work, I need a Bachelor's Degree. And I'm going to get it because now I have something that I am working towards that will benefit both myself and the people I will be helping. The only thing I am missing is money to get started and a degree so that I can go to Japan to work as an Assistant Language Teacher in a Japanese school helping kids learn English. I love Japan and I couldn't believe that I would be able to make money while exploring a country that I love, and I will also get to leave a mark on its future by helping lead children!
Very MEANINGFUL TED talk. Every word, every second of this presentation was well thought and delivered with simple language and purpose. The facts, the stats, the stories to exemplify your message, and the whole spectrum of Existentialism that you were able to articulate in just 12 minutes…Bravo!!! Thank you Emily, you have all my respect and admiration 🙏🏼
A happy life can be ascertained by everyone's dreams and goals. Goals are not about what you want but about what you give. This made me realize that if you want to be happy then do the process not just think about it, there will be no changes in your life, especially happiness. Humans are too focused on pursuing something external, long-term benefits for happiness can not be obtained. Sometimes in the midst of hectic life with various responsibilities, burdens, and pressures, it is often easy to get restless and sad. Living in a world with all the challenges and obstacles in it makes us unhappy. From this video I learned that there is more to life than happiness, it really made me realize.
my advice would be search and learn maybe you'll find the answer after all you are not the first person to ask this question and certainly not the last one ...good luck ♡
I am currently reading Elif Şafak’s Love, so i’m quite engaged with sufism. I am so grateful that this video came upto me. And her father telling his children’s names like a mantra made me broke into tears. There’s love and kindness in this planet. Thank you.
After turning age 57 this past year, that life’s purpose we have been conditioned to understand for generations is “happiness.” I was on a constant chase to find happy, then I couldn’t maintain this happy state, so I am off searching once again. This became a lifetime of living in a revolving door. If I didn’t feel or have happiness in my life, it was a self-inflicted feeling of failure. Happiness arrives after we understand our purpose & meaning as to what we are here on this earth to do. Purpose IS my purpose ON purpose! Excellent!!!
Would you say that parenting is a purpose? She mentions this in a video, but I've actually been questioning whether or not that's really something to fixate your life on. Don't get me wrong, family and kids is a great thing to have, but I think parenting is more akin to a job. A beautiful and important job, but still a job. It has an endpoint and it never goes the way you think it will. Purpose is a lifelong thing that can follow you until the very end. That's just my thought anyway.
@@JDog2656there’s more than parenting in itself, it’s your legacy… it’s forever fruitful and you’ll always benefit from the knowing you’ve left something behind and you’ve created a trail of eternal love.
@@andreeaduta3475 I guess, legacy isn’t really something that applies to kids too often. Who we are and what we do is not always dependent on your parents or anyone who came before us. That’s more of a choice. I’m not defined by them
I guess to basically arrive at these 4 pillars of purpose would have taken in a lot of experience, pain, adventure, practice and thought. I can't be grateful enough for bringing it to us in a 12 minute video. You are basically helping people self actualize. Thanks a lot.
When she said “chasing happiness can make people unhappy” I felt my heart sink so low because that’s basically my life for as long as I can remember I wish I would be more free in my mind
I read a book called The Power of Meaning and they said exactly what Dantes is saying. The Storytelling pillar of meaning is the narrative you created through life choices that molded you, you are the author of your life
@@someonesomeone25 Try once again and try to know why and then be your own therapist using your brain. Reduce distractions, close your eyes, focus on one sound and be mindful. Happiness is inside us not outside. Know your horoscope sign and search their likes and dislikes and implement but always use your brain for you are unique and every situation is so too. Good luck
@@captainwave5172 Why try what has never worked before in the past? That makes no sense. Repeating the exact same thing hoping and for a different result is a waste of time. As for introspscting why helping brings me no happiness, I feel there are three main reasons: I am too unhappy in myself to be able to gain vicarious pleasure from the joy of others; I am inwardly bitter and angry at how people have treated me through my life so a part of me wants others to suffer; and I get very stressed and anxious easily making any many acts, esp social or work based acts, an unpleasurable negative experience. I am not able to enjoy helping others until these issues are resolved. But I cannot resolve them no matter what I do.
be crazy, make mistakes, expect, love, loose, cry, be angry, be sad, learn, improve, be crazy again, dont expect, makes mmistakes, stay prepared to face the consequence, enjoy little things, be carefree.... look back, remember, realize, laugh at your past,.. thats Life with Happiness
One of the most powerful, valuable and important TED Talks of all time. Perfect delivery by a young lady who is exemplifies Meaning and Purpose in both a passionate and compassionate way. Genuine and authentic.
Such poetry in your speech, Emily. The sufi philosophy is truly reflective in the way you communicate. I felt empowered listening to this and more than that, felt the power of all the pillars mentioned. Hearing your father's story teared me up. Immense respect. Thank you for this talk, Emily and TED!❤️
Yeah, it was a little saccharine, but I don't think you can talk about this subject and not sound a little corny. She made excellent points, the role of purpose and storytelling are things I don't consider often enough in my life... All I'd add is that you've got to enjoy the small things. When Warren Zevon was asked how cancer had changed his world view, he stated that his imminent death had illustrated how much he should 'try to enjoy every sandwich'. That's advice I will take to my grave. It's not the same as transcendence, as it takes far less effort, but I believe it can hold a consistently larger pay off. I try to enjoy each meal, each human interaction, each album I listen to, each beer, each snooze... It doesn't always work, but they all take such little effort it hardly matters.
That's a nice expression, 'saccharine'. It's the first time I'm coming across it. Also, isn't it awfully hard trying to be constantly grateful & happy? Doesn't a large part of being grateful and happy involve making a conscious decision? So it must get tiring trying to remind yourself to constantly appreciate everything. Because let's face it, a lot of moments are genuinely crap. And it takes a lot of effort to be happy about anything at that point of time.
+Will X It only sounds corny if you don't believe it or if you are more concerned with others' perceptions of you for saying them. These things are more real and profound than we can ever imagine. If they sound corny, they have not been properly understood.
As someone with depression, you’re lucky if you can drown yourself in dopamine. Sounds like heaven or spirituality. Oh ... or were you ironically too afraid to say upfront that it would lead to mental health issues. So much for the pretentious intellectuals on here who once again ironically care too much about what others do and think...
My friend, I offer you the most beautiful human values that humanity has ever heard. The beauty of his words and the support of logic and reason to him. And his answers to the inquiries of the soul makes the soul feel happiness that it has never found before and is not bored of it, and the appearance of tears of joy from the West to hear it attracts the souls of those seeking happiness to hear it. Thank you.
I realised all this 4 years back after reading an awesomely amazing, 2 dollar book "Karmayoga" by Swami Vivekananda.(Book is a 100-150 page reading, but gives you more than you can imagine) Happiness was never the end goal, even meaning was not. Life is all about finding answers and achieving a state of liberation from worldly entanglements while being humane.
I first thought in my life that life was meaningless, because there is no natural meaning to it, and humans humans were just free in the universe and could do whatever they wanted, but then i realised, that if a god existing is enogh to make life have meaning, was because he had a purpose for you, and then i realised that you are the maximum authority of your body and mind, you decide what the purpose of your life will be, the instrument of what end, what end will your body and mind serve and have served from the moment you are born, to the moment you die, be it for better or worse
When trying to find a meaning in life, you will surely adventure into different fields of work and interests. It is these experiences that construct the pieces of your pillars: you find belongings on the way, stumble across your type of transcendence and finally finding your purpose in life. For me, it is the quest to search for meanings in life that makes me happy, cuz I'm able to meet new people, things, sceneries and explore the vast possibilites along the way.
[2:50] There are 4 pillars of a meaningful life *1. Belonging* - being in relationships where you're valued for who you are intrinsically *2. Purpose* - purpose is less about what you want and more about what you give. The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others *3. Transcendence* - those rare moments when you're lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away and you feel connected to a higher reality *4. Storytelling* - the story you tell yourself about yourself
I've read Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life and it shows how Christianity grasps all four of these pillars so miraculously. She talked about how love is the thing that gives meaning, and Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love. I used to think that Christianity was just a bunch of morally good rules I should follow to be a good person but it's so much more than that!
Happiness in life: It comes from meaning. And meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself. And from developing the best from within you.
serving something beyond yourself - like maybe Doctors without Borders? or front-line workers risking their lives fighting Covid19? You think they are happy? There is a disconnect here
@@ramaraksha01 the best job for you isn't best for everyone else and vice versa. When you have a higher purpose to serve others, you are less stuck with thinking about the self.
@@StevenT2 yes & what do the top 2 religions preach? Run away from real life, think only of yourself, run far away from hearing the cries of pain & suffering from even their OWN loved ones! They could be starving, sick, homeless,,caught in a war facing rape, torture! But good news! We don't care anymore! All they care about is how happy THEY will be, how wonderful heaven will be, see all their DEAD loved ones again! LIVING loved ones starving, homeless, facing rape? Who cares! . This is why Hinduism preaches Reincarnation - because it is here that you Give And what is God? God is a Giver - so many pray to him When we Give, we follow in the footsteps of God, make him proud! And in heaven shameless people are takers! Eternal Takers! . But alas, our hindu skin is dark - our ideas looked down upon So much Racism in this world!
This video has blown me away.. such a crucial lesson in living a life. I broken up with my ex a couple of days ago and this speech made me realize that I was missing the meaning of my life. Thank you TED for this amazing video.
People have to experience *ALL THE FEELINGS* periodically. This is why in relationships of any kind appear problems from nothing; this is why sometimes we feel we want to see a specific movie again, a movie who might make us cry, which is good. We must experience happiness, anxiety, revelation, true love and more. Happiness may be the best feeling but do not focus only on it cause your body and mind want to experience more cause we know inside ourselves that *we must not forget where we started and where we are*
beliefless dogmasless I might be for you. But I also know that successful people are known for a specific skill or group of skills and in their private life they act as you consider crazy. Remember: what makes you weird will bring you wealth.
I’ve listened to your book twice, and today I wrote an email to inquire about volunteering with the homeless organization that my sister-in-law volunteered with up until recently.
There's more to life than being happy by Emily Esfahani Smith. This video is so important and can truly change your life. “The root of joy is gratefulness.” Gratefulness is very important. Sadly I seem to be completely incapable of feeling it. All I can think about are the things I want but feel like I can never have. I'm grateful for the god and the oxygen, nature and the universe for the challenges in life to be able to learn and develop our lives in this world. i always thought we needed equality in life but i've learned that there isn't equality but what we need in life is equal respect. we can continue to compare ourselves but simply enjoying and being happy with the opportunities we have is basis of life. We can not choose what makes us happy, we all find happiness in pretty much the same way, helpfulness is the greatest way to be happy, serve and keep serving, give and never stop giving. Showing gratitude has so many proven benefits-physical, mental, and emotional-that everyone should make it part of their daily life. The Quran says "There is more happiness in giving than in receiving". God only blesses those who are grateful. ❤
I totally agree. I think, though that happiness is not the issue, SEEKING happiness outside yourself if the issue. When we find joy with what we have, right now, that is happiness. We are not waiting for the right job, mate, etc. And when we are joyful, we look to see what we can do at any moment, that makes a difference. That deepens our fulfillment.
This resonates especially in relation to purpose. My late mother said the best thing she did in life was have her children. Her strength and words has what keeps me going whist awaiting on my purpose to have a family of my own ( inshallah)
I'm just from a heartbreak recently and I kept experiencing anxiety every now and then. Just saw the video and every time after a relationship ends, I ask myself wtf was I searching for. For my recent relationship I guess I was searching for belongingness. That's the story I've told myself for some clarity so I can move on.
I am happy that to come across this. Knowing that life is more than being happy. I have always looked for things more than happiness. Meaning is all what I look for. This was so surreal.
Emily is such a wonderful speaker, it felt as if she was talking directly to me, and her movements and body language drew me closer to hearing her every word.
To summarise: You don't need happiness, just meaning. So search out these 4 pillars of meaning, which by coincidence are intrinsically linked to being happy, so you're going to end up being more happy. But you don't need that, just the meaning part. Nailed it.
Contentment and peace is my goal. Accepting what I can't change. Forgiving myself and others. Living in gratitude and enjoying the simple things in life.
@@vithorpileco if you feeling meaning in something you can go on doing it forever, it never gets old and not any amount of it feels enough as you could do it infinitely for example for me the transcendence pillar is looking at the sun setting into the ocean, i would be happy to live for as long as i could experience that
But the inevitability of death gives life meaning. As stated you may be content or happy in your ideal version of eternity but being content also has its limit... (Not trying to sound rude just unconfidently stating my opinion)
Isn't this from guardians of galaxy..I just re-watched it yesterday and ego said something along those lines..Oh wait, this just seems like a common expression
This explanation of finding meaning in life and how to achieve it and how we all find it differently has just helped me rationalise and understand myself better. Thank you so much
People have started religions and cults, written books and poems, created all sorts of things to exploit these simple truths. You, Emily have presented these in a very nice way. And didn't ask for the cost of a book or club or tithe. Thank You Emily...
The sense of happiness can be cultivated, just like the sense of purpose, belonging, transcending, storytelling and eventually meaning. These are all tools. You can live life with them or without them, for each one to choose.
Omg i was struggling with depression for years and i live with it and okay with it. I used to think the same as the footballplayers she mentioned “my life was good but now its bad” but thanks to my depression, i survive and it makes me the person i am right now and right now i am thinking my life was bad but now its normal. I think ive made it to the new milestone!
Amazing Ted talk... I learnt so much out of it. Thankyou so much... 😍 Four pillars to add meaning to one's life 1. Belonging 2. Purpose 3. Transcendence 4. Story telling Happiness comes and goes but when you give a meaning to your life , it becomes permanent..
Life in itself has no meaning, it’s empty. It is about what we fill in with in that empty space. Edit: Woah woah woah. I just wrote what i thought and this comment just blew up. And guys thanks a lot for sharing your opinions. I really appreciate them all. Love ya
@@miyara928 I don't know how serious you want to go about this but I'll just leave it here. It's a very long understanding of why people don't want to agree with you. Sin has its roots so deep in this world right now, and people delight in it just as the Bible says they would. They don't want to change anything about themselves. Everything this woman in this is saying is just pointing to Jesus, she just doesn't realize it, but probably never considered that is where she was pointing to. But in general, most people in the world today wish to seek meaning aside from Jesus, because they want to have it their way rather than God's way. Obviously, God's way is "boring". It's the same deceptions as from Genesis 3, the same exact deceptions and curse govern the world but no one wants to believe that. Why not? You get to create your own meaning, everything is meant to fit you (and in some cases, God is created to fit you, in your image) and you don't have to answer to anyone else above you. It's makes people feel good, they create their own reality. Surely, they don't believe God can be good - as the serpent/shining one suggested, God is jealous of us and wants to prevent us from being like him. You didn't die because you're a sinner, you died because that's just how it is and there's no point to it other than what you want in it. People today would rather worship themselves and humanity. They think they're somehow better than the God who created all the universe, who knows all, and created us to be able to love, who is just in ways that we can't be because we still are evil. If we compared ourselves to God, we'd recognize our own imperfections and why we should die. But, no one wants to realize that about themselves. They want to think that they're just... right, humanity in all our failures somehow deserves to be recognized as equal with God. We don't want to compare ourselves to the God who created a creation that one would be tempted to worship, because that is declaration of a glory that is infinitely greater than even the creation - the heavens declare God's glory, yet it is only a small glimpse of him. People wouldn't feel so good, like they're so great, if they realized just how far they fall short of God. They'd rather live as the shining one told them to. They want to believe that they're accomplishing this all, that they're deserving and that they can create their meaning, their reality. It feels better to them, why would they want to think they need a savior? The serpent/shining one is perfectly aware of all this - pride was a cause of his own rebellion after all. The serpent/shining one took advantage of this and deceived the whole world the same exact way that he inspired the fall of man. It's all too easy, and it's all too easy to reject God. Again, God's way is boring, we have to submit to a greater power, it is so restraining in the eyes of the world, we're just not allowed to go and live the way we want. Imagine all the fun we'd have, all the ways we can make ourselves feel better - in our own way, paving our own path. Who the heck wants to live the way that God intended to be good when he created all things? Only some people want to do that, and submit to God fully. That was very long.
Still the final goal is happiness. You need meaning in order to be happy. All roads lead to happiness, didn't argument anything unfortunately. Everything stated in the video is to become happy. Even taking a bullet for someone is to make YOU happy, because it would be worse if you wouldn't take that bullet. So happiness is the final goal of life, but there's a million things in between to make the trip exciting.
Perhaps. However, one can note that our truest state of being is shrouded in a state of happiness. It is the straying away that keeps us agitates, and the returning that makes us who we are.
I've never been diagnosed with clinical depression but I've felt all these things and no life isn't about just being happy, it's more about expressing how you feel
Im happy when i watch my kids play. And when i fold clothes. So i let my kids play outdoor daily and i dont get on my phone during those times. And i unpack the closets and refold the clothes too often
Happiness doesn’t exist. You will experience brief moments of pleasure but the human condition is that you know too much about the future to be happy. Psychologists agree that the natural human state is mild depression. So don’t be sad about being sad, its normal.
FOUR PILLARS OF A MEANINGFUL LIFE @2:50 Belonging - @3:01 from being in relationships where you're valued for who you are intrinsically & where you value others as well Purpose - @4:43 is less about what you want than about what you give; key is using your strengths to serve others Transcendence - @5:41 you feel connected to a higher reality Storytelling - @6:38 the story you tell yourself, about yourself Thank you & God bless!😇 [11.16.2024]
Yes belonging is important and meaning is important, but trying to find meaning is like saying "If I know my meaning, I will be happy at last !". It creates some sort of great expectation. This is so hilarious. In a very abstract way of looking at life, the true meaning of life (or seeking meaning for your life) has no meaning or purpose on its own, however it is through our participation and experiences that we create meaning and feel happy, or so I believe. Dont expect some sort of great revelation once you have found purpose or meaning. I'm not saying "do things without thinking" or "dont have goals" or live a meaningless life, just enjoy each experience in life without overthinking it too much. That's what I believe. I dont think we should say "this is my meaning in life" or "that is my true meaning". It restricts you do suddenly live your life in a certain way, limits you if you will. Sure you could have multiple meanings, great, but whats the point. If life is not just about being happy, then why do we need to find purpose or meaning in our lives. Is it to feel satisfied with ourselves ? Is it a sense of accomplishment, a sense of purpose ? Doesn't that boil down to happiness anyways ? As human beings, we are always changing. We should always be open to change, not fixed in our ways, open to learn, to have new opinions or change them as our perspective and understanding changes. To read things, to experience new things, to see new places and see life differently than we have the day before. Not living by following 4 pillars that someone else wrote up based on their experiences and understanding. Sometimes we should create our own rules. Nothing in this world is certain, except death. Live without regrets.
you know what you should be the one to the TED talk. I agree! belongingness seems forced, and i value solitude and love being alone. Even when you belong to a group or whatever it doesn't guarantee you happiness and doesn't give you meaning in life either. And Purpose? how will you know it? it's too ambiguous.
As you said, we should be open to change.....this is one of those changes. She is not prescribing ONE single formula, but something she has learned so far. I am sure, she will continue on learning herself. I am sure she is watching and listening to others as we have listened to her. She is right, belonging is very important. I am an introvert myself, but I know I "belong" to my family and they to me. I am connected with them and can depend on them and vice versa. And purpose doesn't have to be a singular, it can be many. And they don't have to be grand, like fighting poverty worldwide; they can be simple things......like donating to the local food pantry. Story telling.....I didn't think about that before, but I guess we do tell ourselves our own stories. She is still very young; I am sure life will teach her lot more. And finally, I agree that being content is much more important than being happy. Personal happiness should be a secondary goal; bringing joy and comfort to others should be the primary goal.
Gideon van der Merwe This "live without regrets" thing sounds to me like "do whatever the heck you want without caring If you're hurting anyone or about the consequences... it's a too big statement to just be thrown like sprinkle on a cake...
Cristina Bolba I don't think he meant that. "Never regret anything" is one of my mottos, and I use it to remind me that there is something to learn from every situation. Even though the decisions we have made can seem wrong from time to time, there is no point in regretting them, all we can do is use those experiences to grow.
The way of delivering deep meaning in speech with amazing level of fluency and confident, TED and the speaker deserves lots of love all around the people❤❤
If you don't know how to get happy, if you think your life is wasted and if you don't find meaning, then try helping others. All the successful people give back in some sort being it bill gates or gordon ramsey. You don't need a lot of money to help but it is really fulfilling. Don't believe me? give it a try. what do you have to lose?
Why do people think that the act of helping is beautiful/good/fulfilling/meaningful? Because those who thought it was survived over millions of years of natural selection. There is nothing inherent about those anthropogenic concepts. There is no meaning to life, universe or anything at all.
I never searched for hapinnes, I always followed my heart. For that reason I lived in 4 different countries, speak 4 languages, meet people with very different ideology than mine and worked hard. I also quit some jobs because I thought I wasn't adding something to the world.
I'm poor, I live in a very old and not good house, but I'm happy, I'm doing something good and never ever felt depressed during my journey. And trust me, was tough, a tough journey...
Wow at leas you are allowed to learn foreign languages and let alone live in different country! This is such a privilege.
How it’s going
FerJitsu is stupid
-anonymous
Thank you for sharing, Happiness is within your self find it inside urself not outside
I think China is your destination . here u can get what u want
10 minutes of speech, but how long did it take to realise this. Respect. Respect.
Life is a series of learning lessons.
I have learned nothing much. And it wasn't enough to justify the suffering.
@@alicjaruiz1317 I like what you said
Maybe u do learn about the Theory Maslow (i mean self tendence )
@@someonesomeone25 I have felt that way at some point of my life--that suffering was unnecessary, purposeless. What could I have possibly learned from losing my boyfriend at 18 when he was driving 300 miles to go see me for the weekend as a surprise and a truck hit the car where he was sitting (not driving!)? Nothing. Just pain, pain, pain. And I understand there is more pain than that. So yes, I get your message.
Happiness comes and goes
Having meaning gives something hold on to
Nah wrong happiness is whatever that makes u feel happy your logic is so backwards but now u know the truth thank me later.
@@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 what
@@hopedean6424 huh
@@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 you a troll or sumn?
@@hopedean6424 neither lol
George Orwell wrote about this 70 years ago. "Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness."
Orwell knew what it was going to be like... CBD Central Bank Dynasty is bringing it all to reality...
The Apostle Muhammad knows this 1,400 years before George Orwell 😂😂Muslim children also know that, they memorize this verse: "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except that they may worship Me" 👏
@@nooneknowsmehhhh
all religions are loaded with pagan superstitions..
gratitude can be observed whether you are religious or not.. thank the lord or the universe...pray to find your strength.. nothing else matters
Duggy Dugg Don't talk like this about Islam and you haven't read about it ever. u won't find effects of pray on body or mind like muslims prays. i know u don't believe in this thing but try to read about it from a scientific point of view. AND of course watch out for religious prejudice
@@nooneknowsmehhhh
Norah
i'm not picking on any one religion..
my opinion is they all contain too many pagan rituals and superstitions..
i am non religious.. but I probably say thank you lord (universe) at least 4 or 5 times a day.. for eyesight.. the ability to walk.. the life I had with my wife... her sister's family..
my 'religion' if you will, has one or two principles.. do unto others etc
and be helpful to others and the environment..
only one prayer.. let me find my strength
one of my desires is to reveal the CBD.. central bank dynasty.. for the debt monsters they are .. endangering the planet with criminal debt tactics... such as lending bogus scrip money to gvts.. as if it were legitimate fiat currency originated by real government departments....
maybe RUclips will help.........
I have been searching for the meaning of life since I came to know about life. Every word she spoke was what I discovered as well. Life in itself has no meaning, it’s empty. It is about what we fill in with in that empty space.
Agree with u..It's meaningless..
Think about it the fact that you believe it is meaningless gives it, it’s meaning...it’s a sandbox, meant for you to develop, experience and materialize your highest possible self
📮dear please recite the noble holy quran u will find peace and meaning also and it's my challenge for u whatever she said it's temporary motivation after somedays u will get back into anxiety depression actually wht's the reason behind this depression is that ur soul want peace ur soul willing to connect with true God and our true creator true God is only allah . please feed ur soul as ur feeding ur body and the food of our soul is zikr practice precautions from bad things connect with our true merciful God allah the only on who make everything don't tell lie to urself by giving ur own titles like mental health stigma Blah blah 😏
You're so right.
What are you saying she didn't tell a word about meaning of life all she said is way to be happy
pillars
1. Belonging/love
2. Purpose
3. Transcendence
4. Story you tell about yourself to yourself
I teared up when she said that her father wanted his last words on earth to be his children's names. Such a powerful anecdote. Loved how that made me feel.
What if you fail to have children then.
@@jeandupont8501 I don’t understand your question.
@@jeandupont8501 I would repeat my mother's name .
@@jeandupont8501 His purpose was his children. You find other purposes for yourself.
Shortly after turning 30, I had a serious existential crisis. I for the first time in my life felt that "fleeting" sensation. The topic of me one day dying was suddenly real. I know 30 is still relatively young, but I started to realize how with age, years seem to go by faster and faster, and it started to feel that instead of coasting to my later years, I was accelerating towards them. I thought it was dying I was afraid of, but I was wrong. It wasn't my fear of dying, it was my fear of dying and not having lived a meaningful life. THAT is what kept me up at night. I knew death is inescapable, but now I was frantically trying to figure out what I was going to do with whatever time I had left on this earth. The anxiety was bad, I mean, really really bad. I stopped caring for virtually every aspect of my life. Things that would normally excite me lost all significance. I kept asking "Why?" Why does any of this matter. I had no focal point.
Shortly after, my mom almost died of a brain hemorrhage, the type with a very low survival rate. Miraculously, she survived, but not before three agonizing weeks in the hospital, and another two in rehabilitation centers. Seeing her fight so hard to stay alive made me snap out of it. I still don't know yet what my meaning is, but I know my mom had hers. It was being there for her family. In time I know I will come to understand what makes my life meaningful, until then, I appreciate every day that I wake up, and try and find the extraordinary in the ordinary. I found that traveling really reminded me of just how big the world is, and also, how small it it. So much to see still.
That's a very interesting perspective on life. I'm glad your mum survived that ordeal, it must have been hard for you. In terms of a meaning for life, i would advocate christianity, but of course you might have your objections :)
This comment made me cry 😅 Thank you for sharing this!!
I am going through the same phase as you😊
@@sarmiladas9734 We all are and will be thinking about this at one point of our lifes, we´ll also come to learn to live in a simple and peacefull life with ourselfs like op did... and we´ll be listening until the time comes :v
When i turned 40 i went through same thing. I've tried to find meaning of my life. But its not easy.
My notes:
Happiness is not everything but also a live with meaning:
A live with meaning means:
1.-Belonging: Relationship
2.-Purpose: Using your strengths to serve others
3.-Trascendence state: That kind of things in which you have so much passion, that you lose all sense of time and place
4.-Storytelling: You can edit, interpret and retell your story
Your work is amazing. Maybe not everyone deserves it.
Thank you for your note!
thank you
Thank you so much!
when i was younger, i prayed for happiness, beauty, being loved. Now I pray for wisdom, calmness, strength, and to love.
The story of her father saying their names brought tears to my eyes.
anyone wants to learn about islam
@@mohammedhanan4811😂 never
For me it was in my third year of college. I had just moved out of mom's house and living in a city I had never been to with a roommate I just met. Then I got slammed with an existential crisis that shook the foundations of my very being, more specifically questioning my beliefs (religious and otherwise). I searched desperately trying to figure out what was wrong, but could only crash and burn. I failed my first semester of university (after two years of community college) because I ended up sleeping 15 hours a day, and playing video games for the rest. I went back home to live with mom again and try to think through things. I went to a couple of therapists, which helped, but they didn't have the answer I searched for.
Finally, I looked back on my life to see what went wrong and realized something sobering. My entire teenage years and adult life up to that point were completely wasted. All I did was seek out pleasure in the moment and put up with what I was forced to do to be "successful." I went to school with a few vague ideas of what I wanted to do and thought that was all I needed. I was wrong, I was lazy.
I sat down and thought about what really mattered in my life and finally decided on a purpose that is getting me through the rest of school right now. For my dream to work, I need a Bachelor's Degree. And I'm going to get it because now I have something that I am working towards that will benefit both myself and the people I will be helping. The only thing I am missing is money to get started and a degree so that I can go to Japan to work as an Assistant Language Teacher in a Japanese school helping kids learn English. I love Japan and I couldn't believe that I would be able to make money while exploring a country that I love, and I will also get to leave a mark on its future by helping lead children!
two words "love unconditionally" and that's is truly happiness
I wept. The words touched my heart so much. There is indeed more to life than happiness. And, I wish my children more than just happiness.
Hello?
Very MEANINGFUL TED talk. Every word, every second of this presentation was well thought and delivered with simple language and purpose. The facts, the stats, the stories to exemplify your message, and the whole spectrum of Existentialism that you were able to articulate in just 12 minutes…Bravo!!!
Thank you Emily, you have all my respect and admiration 🙏🏼
A happy life can be ascertained by everyone's dreams and goals. Goals are not about what you want but about what you give. This made me realize that if you want to be happy then do the process not just think about it, there will be no changes in your life, especially happiness. Humans are too focused on pursuing something external, long-term benefits for happiness can not be obtained. Sometimes in the midst of hectic life with various responsibilities, burdens, and pressures, it is often easy to get restless and sad. Living in a world with all the challenges and obstacles in it makes us unhappy. From this video I learned that there is more to life than happiness, it really made me realize.
This is an eternal topic，for all these lost and confused people, including myself. the more you think, the deeper you sink in it.
I can't say how many times I've felt completely depressed asking myself "Is this all there is?"
Me too
Too true man, too true...
Zareh, I don't she covers the universe of what it means to be human. I believe there is much more.
I feel you bro
my advice would be search and learn maybe you'll find the answer after all you are not the first person to ask this question and certainly not the last one ...good luck ♡
The more time passes, the more I feel grateful I listened to this Talk.
I am currently reading Elif Şafak’s Love, so i’m quite engaged with sufism. I am so grateful that this video came upto me. And her father telling his children’s names like a mantra made me broke into tears. There’s love and kindness in this planet. Thank you.
After turning age 57 this past year, that life’s purpose we have been conditioned to understand for generations is “happiness.” I was on a constant chase to find happy, then I couldn’t maintain this happy state, so I am off searching once again. This became a lifetime of living in a revolving door. If I didn’t feel or have happiness in my life, it was a self-inflicted feeling of failure. Happiness arrives after we understand our purpose & meaning as to what we are here on this earth to do. Purpose IS my purpose ON purpose! Excellent!!!
Would you say that parenting is a purpose? She mentions this in a video, but I've actually been questioning whether or not that's really something to fixate your life on. Don't get me wrong, family and kids is a great thing to have, but I think parenting is more akin to a job. A beautiful and important job, but still a job. It has an endpoint and it never goes the way you think it will. Purpose is a lifelong thing that can follow you until the very end. That's just my thought anyway.
@@JDog2656there’s more than parenting in itself, it’s your legacy… it’s forever fruitful and you’ll always benefit from the knowing you’ve left something behind and you’ve created a trail of eternal love.
@@andreeaduta3475 I guess, legacy isn’t really something that applies to kids too often. Who we are and what we do is not always dependent on your parents or anyone who came before us. That’s more of a choice. I’m not defined by them
I guess to basically arrive at these 4 pillars of purpose would have taken in a lot of experience, pain, adventure, practice and thought. I can't be grateful enough for bringing it to us in a 12 minute video. You are basically helping people self actualize. Thanks a lot.
When she said “chasing happiness can make people unhappy” I felt my heart sink so low because that’s basically my life for as long as I can remember
I wish I would be more free in my mind
Do you care for a chat and get to know each other more better?
I read a book called The Power of Meaning and they said exactly what Dantes is saying. The Storytelling pillar of meaning is the narrative you created through life choices that molded you, you are the author of your life
People confuse happiness with fun and materialistic life. That's why we end up unhappy.
I have no meaning, and very little happiness. Its sucky.
@@someonesomeone25 if you can't find anything good that makes you happy when you do it then help others as that gives the most happiness.
@@captainwave5172 Helping others doesn't bring me happiness.
@@someonesomeone25 Try once again and try to know why and then be your own therapist using your brain. Reduce distractions, close your eyes, focus on one sound and be mindful. Happiness is inside us not outside. Know your horoscope sign and search their likes and dislikes and
implement but always use your brain for you are unique and every situation is so too. Good luck
@@captainwave5172 Why try what has never worked before in the past? That makes no sense. Repeating the exact same thing hoping and for a different result is a waste of time.
As for introspscting why helping brings me no happiness, I feel there are three main reasons: I am too unhappy in myself to be able to gain vicarious pleasure from the joy of others; I am inwardly bitter and angry at how people have treated me through my life so a part of me wants others to suffer; and I get very stressed and anxious easily making any many acts, esp social or work based acts, an unpleasurable negative experience. I am not able to enjoy helping others until these issues are resolved. But I cannot resolve them no matter what I do.
be crazy, make mistakes, expect, love, loose, cry, be angry, be sad, learn, improve, be crazy again, dont expect, makes mmistakes, stay prepared to face the consequence, enjoy little things, be carefree.... look back, remember, realize, laugh at your past,..
thats Life with Happiness
Monideepa Ganguly
Thanks a lot:)
Monideepa Ganguly cool beans
Yaa you are right
You said "expect" then "don't expect"...😕
That works for people who don't think deep.
One of the most powerful, valuable and important TED Talks of all time. Perfect delivery by a young lady who is exemplifies Meaning and Purpose in both a passionate and compassionate way. Genuine and authentic.
Such poetry in your speech, Emily. The sufi philosophy is truly reflective in the way you communicate. I felt empowered listening to this and more than that, felt the power of all the pillars mentioned. Hearing your father's story teared me up. Immense respect. Thank you for this talk, Emily and TED!❤️
Belongingness, Purpose, Transcendence, Storytelling
I've never seen someone gesture like she does. It's un-polished and almost like she's reading her journal to us. I love it.
Yeah, it was a little saccharine, but I don't think you can talk about this subject and not sound a little corny. She made excellent points, the role of purpose and storytelling are things I don't consider often enough in my life... All I'd add is that you've got to enjoy the small things. When Warren Zevon was asked how cancer had changed his world view, he stated that his imminent death had illustrated how much he should 'try to enjoy every sandwich'. That's advice I will take to my grave. It's not the same as transcendence, as it takes far less effort, but I believe it can hold a consistently larger pay off. I try to enjoy each meal, each human interaction, each album I listen to, each beer, each snooze... It doesn't always work, but they all take such little effort it hardly matters.
Will X zevon
That's a nice expression, 'saccharine'. It's the first time I'm coming across it. Also, isn't it awfully hard trying to be constantly grateful & happy? Doesn't a large part of being grateful and happy involve making a conscious decision? So it must get tiring trying to remind yourself to constantly appreciate everything. Because let's face it, a lot of moments are genuinely crap. And it takes a lot of effort to be happy about anything at that point of time.
+Will X It only sounds corny if you don't believe it or if you are more concerned with others' perceptions of you for saying them. These things are more real and profound than we can ever imagine. If they sound corny, they have not been properly understood.
As someone with depression, you’re lucky if you can drown yourself in dopamine. Sounds like heaven or spirituality. Oh ... or were you ironically too afraid to say upfront that it would lead to mental health issues. So much for the pretentious intellectuals on here who once again ironically care too much about what others do and think...
This was all I needed to hear, strutting endlessly trying to do yet another day. This video spoke volumes. Thanks!
I feel you Divya
എവിടെ ഒക്കെയായി ഒരു മലയാളം ടച്ച്? 🙄🙄🙄
Same feeling here Divya.
My friend, I offer you the most beautiful human values that humanity has ever heard. The beauty of his words and the support of logic and reason to him. And his answers to the inquiries of the soul makes the soul feel happiness that it has never found before and is not bored of it, and the appearance of tears of joy from the West to hear it attracts the souls of those seeking happiness to hear it. Thank you.
I am also. Just asked God what is your plan for me about a minute ago. I am thankful He heard me
Watching this in this time of covid pandemic gives light to go on with life.
I realised all this 4 years back after reading an awesomely amazing, 2 dollar book "Karmayoga" by Swami Vivekananda.(Book is a 100-150 page reading, but gives you more than you can imagine)
Happiness was never the end goal, even meaning was not.
Life is all about finding answers and achieving a state of liberation from worldly entanglements while being humane.
Every word is precious, feels so close to my heart. Words of Poet Jalal Uddin Rumi are so inspiring, changed my life forever.
This is literally life-changing.
I first thought in my life that life was meaningless, because there is no natural meaning to it, and humans humans were just free in the universe and could do whatever they wanted, but then i realised, that if a god existing is enogh to make life have meaning, was because he had a purpose for you, and then i realised that you are the maximum authority of your body and mind, you decide what the purpose of your life will be, the instrument of what end, what end will your body and mind serve and have served from the moment you are born, to the moment you die, be it for better or worse
not really
When trying to find a meaning in life, you will surely adventure into different fields of work and interests. It is these experiences that construct the pieces of your pillars: you find belongings on the way, stumble across your type of transcendence and finally finding your purpose in life.
For me, it is the quest to search for meanings in life that makes me happy, cuz I'm able to meet new people, things, sceneries and explore the vast possibilites along the way.
The story about her father made me cry. That was such a good speech.
It was bs tho, he survived because the surgeons did their fucking job.
And the drama wasn't necessary to her speech.
Yes, you're right. It was very touching and meaningful 💖
Anna Does Things
[2:50] There are 4 pillars of a meaningful life
*1. Belonging* - being in relationships where you're valued for who you are intrinsically
*2. Purpose* - purpose is less about what you want and more about what you give. The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others
*3. Transcendence* - those rare moments when you're lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away and you feel connected to a higher reality
*4. Storytelling* - the story you tell yourself about yourself
I cannot believe a person following Hindu paganism can have such a intellectual emancipation.
Love you brother from indian administered kashmir.
Awesome, thanks!
thank you for taking this effort!
Knowing WHAT the pillars are is easy, knowing HOW to achieve them is the hard part...
Wow,how to access is the most difficult part.
I've read Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life and it shows how Christianity grasps all four of these pillars so miraculously.
She talked about how love is the thing that gives meaning, and Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love. I used to think that Christianity was just a bunch of morally good rules I should follow to be a good person but it's so much more than that!
Happiness in life: It comes from meaning. And meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself. And from developing the best from within you.
Well said but if happiness have something to do with money then forget about it anyways.
serving something beyond yourself - like maybe Doctors without Borders? or front-line workers risking their lives fighting Covid19? You think they are happy?
There is a disconnect here
You can't go in your past and change it. That is Dishonesty. Meaning show you the way
@@ramaraksha01 the best job for you isn't best for everyone else and vice versa. When you have a higher purpose to serve others, you are less stuck with thinking about the self.
@@StevenT2 yes & what do the top 2 religions preach? Run away from real life, think only of yourself, run far away from hearing the cries of pain & suffering from even their OWN loved ones!
They could be starving, sick, homeless,,caught in a war facing rape, torture! But good news! We don't care anymore!
All they care about is how happy THEY will be, how wonderful heaven will be, see all their DEAD loved ones again!
LIVING loved ones starving, homeless, facing rape? Who cares!
.
This is why Hinduism preaches Reincarnation - because it is here that you Give
And what is God? God is a Giver - so many pray to him
When we Give, we follow in the footsteps of God, make him proud!
And in heaven shameless people are takers! Eternal Takers!
.
But alas, our hindu skin is dark - our ideas looked down upon
So much Racism in this world!
This video has blown me away.. such a crucial lesson in living a life. I broken up with my ex a couple of days ago and this speech made me realize that I was missing the meaning of my life. Thank you TED for this amazing video.
People have to experience *ALL THE FEELINGS* periodically. This is why in relationships of any kind appear problems from nothing; this is why sometimes we feel we want to see a specific movie again, a movie who might make us cry, which is good.
We must experience happiness, anxiety, revelation, true love and more. Happiness may be the best feeling but do not focus only on it cause your body and mind want to experience more cause we know inside ourselves that *we must not forget where we started and where we are*
Seleniar Well said
beliefless dogmasless I might be for you. But I also know that successful people are known for a specific skill or group of skills and in their private life they act as you consider crazy. Remember: what makes you weird will bring you wealth.
Seleniar your not crazy! I don't know what that other person is on about! 😂
I’ve listened to your book twice, and today I wrote an email to inquire about volunteering with the homeless organization that my sister-in-law volunteered with up until recently.
There's more to life than being happy by Emily Esfahani Smith. This video is so important and can truly change your life. “The root of joy is gratefulness.”
Gratefulness is very important. Sadly I seem to be completely incapable of feeling it. All I can think about are the things I want but feel like I can never have. I'm grateful for the god and the oxygen, nature and the universe for the challenges in life to be able to learn and develop our lives in this world. i always thought we needed equality in life but i've learned that there isn't equality but what we need in life is equal respect. we can continue to compare ourselves but simply enjoying and being happy with the opportunities we have is basis of life. We can not choose what makes us happy, we all find happiness in pretty much the same way, helpfulness is the greatest way to be happy, serve and keep serving, give and never stop giving.
Showing gratitude has so many proven benefits-physical, mental, and emotional-that everyone should make it part of their daily life. The Quran says "There is more happiness in giving than in receiving".
God only blesses those who are grateful. ❤
Well, I like her presentation, the way she speaks, and definitely the four pillars.
1. Belonging
2. Purpose
3. Transcendence
4. Story-telling
Raunak Kelekar thank you for listing them! :)
Hello ?
I totally agree. I think, though that happiness is not the issue, SEEKING happiness outside yourself if the issue. When we find joy with what we have, right now, that is happiness. We are not waiting for the right job, mate, etc. And when we are joyful, we look to see what we can do at any moment, that makes a difference. That deepens our fulfillment.
One of the best TED Talks that I have ever seen
This resonates especially in relation to purpose. My late mother said the best thing she did in life was have her children. Her strength and words has what keeps me going whist awaiting on my purpose to have a family of my own ( inshallah)
The four pillars belonging - purpose - transcendence - storytelling . I think this adds value to my life . A really worth valuable TED Talk .
This is a great TED Talk! I think she is spot on about happiness and the need to having purpose.
I'm just from a heartbreak recently and I kept experiencing anxiety every now and then. Just saw the video and every time after a relationship ends, I ask myself wtf was I searching for. For my recent relationship I guess I was searching for belongingness. That's the story I've told myself for some clarity so I can move on.
I am happy that to come across this. Knowing that life is more than being happy. I have always looked for things more than happiness. Meaning is all what I look for. This was so surreal.
Joy and Peace is what you need. These are some of the things that are everlasting.
Emily is such a wonderful speaker, it felt as if she was talking directly to me, and her movements and body language drew me closer to hearing her every word.
I think you just saved my life.
Woo! I hope you're doing good dude
woo woo
Bro...
I hope you’re doing well.
How?
To summarise: You don't need happiness, just meaning. So search out these 4 pillars of meaning, which by coincidence are intrinsically linked to being happy, so you're going to end up being more happy. But you don't need that, just the meaning part.
Nailed it.
Kevin Hodgson nailed it
Love this! Lol
Kevin Hodgson Agreed. Reasoning skills to be worked on.
Exactly!
What four pillars?
Sorry too lazy
4 pillars of a meaningful life
3:02 Belonging
4:44 Purpose
5:43 Transcendence
6:44 Story-telling
THANKS!
Hello, I started learning English again after 10 years. I would be grateful if you could come and see my skills.
I am studying from the basics
Thank you. This is helpful. I was looking for this
Contentment and peace is my goal. Accepting what I can't change. Forgiving myself and others. Living in gratitude and enjoying the simple things in life.
the story about his dad made me cried so bad in my office :'(((( thank you for this very soothing and enlightening talk! Love from Malaysia!
This TEDX strikes the chord of my heart. Therefore, I highly recommend this video for those who have lost meaning in their life.
"Doesn't eternity get boring?"
"Not when your life has meaning"
Eternity kills meaning. They can't coexist.
@@vithorpileco if you feeling meaning in something you can go on doing it forever, it never gets old and not any amount of it feels enough as you could do it infinitely
for example for me the transcendence pillar is looking at the sun setting into the ocean, i would be happy to live for as long as i could experience that
You deserve more likes
But the inevitability of death gives life meaning. As stated you may be content or happy in your ideal version of eternity but being content also has its limit...
(Not trying to sound rude just unconfidently stating my opinion)
Isn't this from guardians of galaxy..I just re-watched it yesterday and ego said something along those lines..Oh wait, this just seems like a common expression
This explanation of finding meaning in life and how to achieve it and how we all find it differently has just helped me rationalise and understand myself better. Thank you so much
Do you care for a chat and get to know each other more better?
People have started religions and cults, written books and poems, created all sorts of things to exploit these simple truths. You, Emily have presented these in a very nice way. And didn't ask for the cost of a book or club or tithe. Thank You Emily...
gratitude is what makes a happy life...realization that everything is a gift to be shared
The sense of happiness can be cultivated, just like the sense of purpose, belonging, transcending, storytelling and eventually meaning. These are all tools. You can live life with them or without them, for each one to choose.
Open your eyes,
Its easy to do,
Just take the time,
And look around you,
Never forget, this is a beautiful world !!!
I looked around and all i could find were egoistic and egocentric shimpanzees called humans, who stick around you as long as you are useful to them...
Don't forget, before serving others, serve yourself. Not every charitable project will lead to a happy ending.
Exactly
Belonging. Purpose. Transcendence. Storytelling. A meaningful life!
Omg i was struggling with depression for years and i live with it and okay with it. I used to think the same as the footballplayers she mentioned “my life was good but now its bad” but thanks to my depression, i survive and it makes me the person i am right now and right now i am thinking my life was bad but now its normal. I think ive made it to the new milestone!
Amazing Ted talk... I learnt so much out of it. Thankyou so much... 😍
Four pillars to add meaning to one's life
1. Belonging
2. Purpose
3. Transcendence
4. Story telling
Happiness comes and goes but when you give a meaning to your life , it becomes permanent..
Life in itself has no meaning, it’s empty. It is about what we fill in with in that empty space.
Edit: Woah woah woah. I just wrote what i thought and this comment just blew up. And guys thanks a lot for sharing your opinions. I really appreciate them all. Love ya
I like how you think.
I dont agree, life has definitley meaning. That is worshipping the one and only God, who created life/us/everything.
@@miyara928 oh shut up
Sunshine God doesnt exist
@@miyara928 I don't know how serious you want to go about this but I'll just leave it here. It's a very long understanding of why people don't want to agree with you. Sin has its roots so deep in this world right now, and people delight in it just as the Bible says they would. They don't want to change anything about themselves.
Everything this woman in this is saying is just pointing to Jesus, she just doesn't realize it, but probably never considered that is where she was pointing to. But in general, most people in the world today wish to seek meaning aside from Jesus, because they want to have it their way rather than God's way. Obviously, God's way is "boring". It's the same deceptions as from Genesis 3, the same exact deceptions and curse govern the world but no one wants to believe that. Why not? You get to create your own meaning, everything is meant to fit you (and in some cases, God is created to fit you, in your image) and you don't have to answer to anyone else above you. It's makes people feel good, they create their own reality. Surely, they don't believe God can be good - as the serpent/shining one suggested, God is jealous of us and wants to prevent us from being like him. You didn't die because you're a sinner, you died because that's just how it is and there's no point to it other than what you want in it. People today would rather worship themselves and humanity. They think they're somehow better than the God who created all the universe, who knows all, and created us to be able to love, who is just in ways that we can't be because we still are evil. If we compared ourselves to God, we'd recognize our own imperfections and why we should die. But, no one wants to realize that about themselves. They want to think that they're just... right, humanity in all our failures somehow deserves to be recognized as equal with God. We don't want to compare ourselves to the God who created a creation that one would be tempted to worship, because that is declaration of a glory that is infinitely greater than even the creation - the heavens declare God's glory, yet it is only a small glimpse of him. People wouldn't feel so good, like they're so great, if they realized just how far they fall short of God. They'd rather live as the shining one told them to. They want to believe that they're accomplishing this all, that they're deserving and that they can create their meaning, their reality. It feels better to them, why would they want to think they need a savior? The serpent/shining one is perfectly aware of all this - pride was a cause of his own rebellion after all. The serpent/shining one took advantage of this and deceived the whole world the same exact way that he inspired the fall of man. It's all too easy, and it's all too easy to reject God. Again, God's way is boring, we have to submit to a greater power, it is so restraining in the eyes of the world, we're just not allowed to go and live the way we want. Imagine all the fun we'd have, all the ways we can make ourselves feel better - in our own way, paving our own path. Who the heck wants to live the way that God intended to be good when he created all things? Only some people want to do that, and submit to God fully.
That was very long.
Be "content" most of the time.
Reserve "happiness" for special moments.
Agree
This is genuinely the wisest speech I’ve ever heard. Thank you!
Emily Esfahni Smith, I like your serene atmosphere. Those who make others are happy or help to find meaning in their lives are happy.
Still the final goal is happiness. You need meaning in order to be happy. All roads lead to happiness, didn't argument anything unfortunately. Everything stated in the video is to become happy. Even taking a bullet for someone is to make YOU happy, because it would be worse if you wouldn't take that bullet. So happiness is the final goal of life, but there's a million things in between to make the trip exciting.
Perhaps. However, one can note that our truest state of being is shrouded in a state of happiness. It is the straying away that keeps us agitates, and the returning that makes us who we are.
Reductionist read on it if you ask me
Great I agree with you thoughts
Happiness is not a state of mind it is a journey.
You didn't understand it
Happiness is a by product of understanding of who you are!
Emily ur perspective is absolutely reflective & transcendental...
My purpose in life is, Help the needy n Smile together...
my purpose, exist and leave.
I've never been diagnosed with clinical depression but I've felt all these things and no life isn't about just being happy, it's more about expressing how you feel
Not only do I learn how to understand faster and speak fluently like her, but I also realise many lessons from speech
Im happy when i watch my kids play. And when i fold clothes. So i let my kids play outdoor daily and i dont get on my phone during those times. And i unpack the closets and refold the clothes too often
Nys
That’s so sweet! Wish you and your family a great enjoyable life Sis!
I freaking hate folding clothes please help :((
Happiness doesn’t exist. You will experience brief moments of pleasure but the human condition is that you know too much about the future to be happy. Psychologists agree that the natural human state is mild depression. So don’t be sad about being sad, its normal.
Of course. Meaning for me is being able to help others, my spiritual life - which is integral to my daily life - inseparable.
FOUR PILLARS OF A MEANINGFUL LIFE @2:50
Belonging - @3:01 from being in relationships where you're valued for who you are intrinsically & where you value others as well
Purpose - @4:43 is less about what you want than about what you give; key is using your strengths to serve others
Transcendence - @5:41 you feel connected to a higher reality
Storytelling - @6:38 the story you tell yourself, about yourself
Thank you & God bless!😇
[11.16.2024]
World is too small just realised watching this that my initial PhD research topic based on learnt optimism. This is so useful
This is the second time I watch this ted talk and this time I understand it more deeply
Yes belonging is important and meaning is important, but trying to find meaning is like saying "If I know my meaning, I will be happy at last !". It creates some sort of great expectation. This is so hilarious. In a very abstract way of looking at life, the true meaning of life (or seeking meaning for your life) has no meaning or purpose on its own, however it is through our participation and experiences that we create meaning and feel happy, or so I believe. Dont expect some sort of great revelation once you have found purpose or meaning. I'm not saying "do things without thinking" or "dont have goals" or live a meaningless life, just enjoy each experience in life without overthinking it too much. That's what I believe. I dont think we should say "this is my meaning in life" or "that is my true meaning". It restricts you do suddenly live your life in a certain way, limits you if you will. Sure you could have multiple meanings, great, but whats the point. If life is not just about being happy, then why do we need to find purpose or meaning in our lives. Is it to feel satisfied with ourselves ? Is it a sense of accomplishment, a sense of purpose ? Doesn't that boil down to happiness anyways ? As human beings, we are always changing. We should always be open to change, not fixed in our ways, open to learn, to have new opinions or change them as our perspective and understanding changes. To read things, to experience new things, to see new places and see life differently than we have the day before. Not living by following 4 pillars that someone else wrote up based on their experiences and understanding. Sometimes we should create our own rules. Nothing in this world is certain, except death. Live without regrets.
Thank you brother. Needed that :)
you know what you should be the one to the TED talk. I agree! belongingness seems forced, and i value solitude and love being alone. Even when you belong to a group or whatever it doesn't guarantee you happiness and doesn't give you meaning in life either. And Purpose? how will you know it? it's too ambiguous.
As you said, we should be open to change.....this is one of those changes. She is not prescribing ONE single formula, but something she has learned so far. I am sure, she will continue on learning herself. I am sure she is watching and listening to others as we have listened to her. She is right, belonging is very important. I am an introvert myself, but I know I "belong" to my family and they to me. I am connected with them and can depend on them and vice versa. And purpose doesn't have to be a singular, it can be many. And they don't have to be grand, like fighting poverty worldwide; they can be simple things......like donating to the local food pantry. Story telling.....I didn't think about that before, but I guess we do tell ourselves our own stories. She is still very young; I am sure life will teach her lot more. And finally, I agree that being content is much more important than being happy. Personal happiness should be a secondary goal; bringing joy and comfort to others should be the primary goal.
Gideon van der Merwe This "live without regrets" thing sounds to me like "do whatever the heck you want without caring If you're hurting anyone or about the consequences... it's a too big statement to just be thrown like sprinkle on a cake...
Cristina Bolba I don't think he meant that. "Never regret anything" is one of my mottos, and I use it to remind me that there is something to learn from every situation. Even though the decisions we have made can seem wrong from time to time, there is no point in regretting them, all we can do is use those experiences to grow.
The way of delivering deep meaning in speech with amazing level of fluency and confident, TED and the speaker deserves lots of love all around the people❤❤
As a person who believed that the meaning of life is to be happy, I needed to see this video.
“The key to purpose is using your strength to serve others”
I would say happiness is the courage to ignore societal expectations...just live simple, help people. But I just can't do it.
Eve Liau Absolutely right and almost impossible to do unless one is an exception
Well i guess then u only have option of deciding which expectation u wanna choose to fulfil
What a great talk!!! So inspirational, I give you my love, I wouldn't know where I'd be without this talk
which of the techniques on being happy covered in this video resonate with u? ruclips.net/video/Dfafedohnb4/видео.html
It's good to watch this in the year of the pandemic. Use our strength to serve others in this tough situation..
absolutely true, I have experienced the whole story and my life is MUCH different now. Still doing all those things.
When I knew my purpose to live, I felt happiest in my whole life.
I'm only happy when I sleep.
Exodus fivesixfivesix I only sleep when I'm happy.
Why don't you sleep forever then ?
Exodus fivesixfivesix same here😂
Exodus fivesixfivesix coz that time our brain stop pooping ...
Exodus fivesixfivesix I'm not. I have stupid dreams all the time and it's really annoying.
If you don't know how to get happy, if you think your life is wasted and if you don't find meaning,
then try helping others. All the successful people give back in some sort being it bill gates or gordon ramsey.
You don't need a lot of money to help but it is really fulfilling. Don't believe me? give it a try. what do you have to lose?
Sadly not all people think this way...
Why do people think that the act of helping is beautiful/good/fulfilling/meaningful? Because those who thought it was survived over millions of years of natural selection. There is nothing inherent about those anthropogenic concepts. There is no meaning to life, universe or anything at all.
MrMojo0417 That's true. In the end we are just some apes that destroy themselves and have no significant or deep meaning in their goals...
Personal Power what if giving back doesn't fix it?
Exodus fivesixfivesix I didn't claim that it would fix it, but its a thing that helps a lot of people! hope you'll find something.
She explained in a simplistic way with a great impact.
my happiness is watching my grandbabies grow up! HANDS DOWN!
This talk brought me out of an emotional crisis