6 Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence | Ramona Hacker | TEDxTUM
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- Опубликовано: 24 май 2024
- Sometimes emotions don’t make sense, and sometimes being emotional doesn’t mean you're emotionally intelligent. Growing up, rationality often came before emotions for Ramona, but as she grew older and realized that she had never actively learned how to deal with her emotions and that she wasn’t the only one who lacked this skill, she knew she had to change something. In her talk, Ramona guides us through her experiences and shows us 6 steps to become more emotionally intelligent. Ramona Hacker has a degree in English and American Studies and is currently pursuing a Masters in World Heritage Studies. Through several personal experiences as well as her volunteer experience at a local soccer club and for the student organization AIESEC, she started thinking about the topic of emotional intelligence and how it affects everyone’s lives and the way we deal with our problems. She will share research from the field as well as personal stories with the TEDxTUM audience. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
No one on this Earth will love you more than you love yourself. Be intentional.
Jesus Christ at the cross!!
*1. Acknowledge our emotions as valuable.* Emotional health strongly affects our rational decision-making capabilities. Show genuine interest in other people's emotions, then answer authentically when someone shows interest in you for the same. _(Write emotions down in a journal/app)._
*2. Differentiate and analyze emotions.* _(Write emotions down in a journal/app)._
*3. Accept and appreciate those emotions.* Afterall, emotions are neither good or bad. _(Write emotions down in a journal/app)._
*4. Reflect on your emotions and their origin;* understanding why you feel a certain way and dealing with the emotion in a healthy manner. _(Visualize the emotions in a journal/app)._
*5. Handle your emotions.* Includes: journal reflection, talk to friends and ask them how they'd approach your situation. All that matters is you find a method that's true to you!
*6. Handling the emotions of other people.* Simply ask the other person how you can support them/ask them how they can support themselves.
Thanks for writing this summary. 😁
tysm for writing this down, very helpful! 😊
Thank you.
Emotional quotient has no real metric of measurement, this is why liberals use it. IQ is 100% verifiable and this is why the left made up the bs EQ...
Thank you .
#1: Acknowledge Emotions
#2: Differentiate and Analyze Emotions
#3: Accept and Appreciate Emotions
#4: Reflect on your Emotions and Their Origin
#5: Handle your Emotions
#6: Handle the Emotions of Others
And the 4 stages in learning anything
1. Unconscious incompetence
2. Conscious incompetence
3. Conscious competence
4. Unconscious competence
Allen Berry wow, that’s actually a really cool way to think about it!
@@bryanbroacostal error t
6 is very tricky and often backfires. Dont try to control others emotions as that's a dangerous tool. Just sayin.
angel
Emotional intelligence comes from a childhood where parents appreciate the child showing emotions, while some other parents stop the child from feeling emotions. Some people fear their emotions because they do not know what to do with them. Anger management skills, communication skills, and emotional awareness are all important skills that have to be taught very early on: not only to the kids but their parents too.
Slightly pedantic reply: 'some parents' don't actually stop their children from FEELING emotions, they stop them from EXPRESSING their emotions. Just for clarity :-)
Note: foundation of social skills/genuine connection with someone is emotional intellegence
(also known as emotional abuse)
@@Jimmywatches yes, this distinction is never made when people talk about emotions i've recently noticed !!
Thank you 🙏
"Teaching emotional intelligence in school" is a good idea.
Schools are struggling just to teach academics. I'm not sure this subject is even codified well enough to teach in school. How do you certify the teachers with this new skill?
Period
And teaching emotional intelligence on the Bachelorette is not a good idea.
Interesting
So is the truth but they obviously don’t want people to kno the truth
Yes teaching emotional intelligence in school would be the best way to create better future employees, employers, mothers, fathers, husbands , wives, etc and in general happier communities. Great topic!
Thank you 🙏
That's why it's not taught in schools.
I am an emotional intelligence coach. THis speech is one of the best that I ever heard. Congratulations!
Maybe Autistic
Any books you recommend?
I'm autistic so I can have troubles with emotional intelligence, I can sympathize and empathize but I'm not very intuitive with things centered around emotional intelligence.
Any books you recommend?
Emotional intelligence doesn't exist. It was invented by a journalist. What you are is a fraud psychologist or counselor.
She talked about the root of all problems we are facing in our day to day life. Great talk!
Are you a vegetarian or sometimes you eat non-veg too?
@@nikhilPUD01do you only eat carrots, eggplants, cucumbers, and corncobs whole? Your comment suggests this.
@@blackmcbain3145 no one at a time
you?
1) Acknowledge emotions
2) Differentiate and analyze them
3) Accept and appreciate them
4) Reflect on them and their origins
5) Manage emotions
6) Handle emotions of others
A fundamental part of being emotionally intelligent means knowing who you are.
Since I've learned and achieved becoming emotionally intelligent I've been reserving myself for an emotionally intelligent lady. So far no luck but not giving up.
Darren Wright that’s a good idea. Having someone on your emotional level is the best thing u can hav . You’d literally enjoy life to it’s peak.
Same here. Where are they? The 'tribe' of the human species needs women to understand this.
"Being emotionally intelligence means knowing and understanding yourself." ❤❤
Emotional Intelligence Notes:
Why?
1. Career progression - $$
2. Better social life - closer &/or more friends
3. Happiness, functionality and quality of life
What is EI?
- Awareness: Understanding how someone feels (empathy) as a result of your actions or external factors.
- Utilisation: The ability to appreciate the effect emotions have on yourself and others and harness them to improve your efficacy at completing a task or solving a problem.
- Management: The ability to control your own emotional fluctuations and those of others. For example getting enough sleep, meditation, practiced cheering up of others.
Progression: unconcious incompetence - conscious incompetence - conscious competence - unconscious competence
Steps?
1. Acknowledge: Ask how someone is feeling genuinely. Answer how you are feeling honesty. Don't complain just connect. Tell them it's okay to feel that way.
2. Differentiate and Analyse: Don't substitute what you actually feel with something you find easier to process. To handle emotions effectively you need to accurately determine what you or another is actually feeling.
3. Accept and Appreciate: Emotions aren't good or bad they are just a reality of the human condition. Loneliness makes you feel sad but it motivates you to look for a partner and build a healthier life. Keep a journal and log how you feel on a needs basis - daily/weekly/monthly.
4. Reflecting and finding the Origin: Reflection puts distance between you and the emotion and enables one to process and move past negative emotions. In the case of positive emotions reflection could help reinforce the behaviour that lead to a good outcome.
5. Handle Your Emotions: Find what works for you personally - trial and error.
a) Writing them down (journaling)
b) Meditation
c) Talking with friends about what they do (dual benefits)
d) Sport (more social) &/or Exercise
6. Handle Other's Emotions: The understanding and awareness you have gained from working on yourself now gears you to more effectively help others. The benefits of doing this and structuring your own thought processes are extensive.
Books?
1. Opening Up by Writing it Down
2. Language of Emotions
Thanks
Thank you
Great Work, Thanks
Thank you! Saved me 17 minutes
Thank you😊
Thank you for publicly sharing this education!! I’m an empath and desperately want a movement of emotional intelligence in society
Is there a group for that? I'd like to join or support it too lol.
We need more considerate people like you. I would join too
sensukii My gf is an empath and she was able to crack my shell, slowly but surely me EI is starting to develop.
noway u called urslef an empath unironically
Emotions are just so hard to identify sometimes, especially when you've developed emotional baggage since childhood. It comes with you for life and makes every little breakdowns and sad moments worser. So it's best to develop an ability to understand emotions since childhood, because rationalising emotions makes them more acceptable and less fearful of them. If you don't know what ticks you off, what makes you happy, then how can you achieve your goals? I don't understand why people don't give importance to their emotions, I feel sorry for them because they're denying a part of themselves.
Both my parents were not emotionally intelligent and still aren't, it effects everything. I 100% agree. I cut contact with them but was still struggling so I started looking into emotional intelligence and it has been a life saver at 23. But I can't help imagine how different my life would be (especially in the teenage years) if I was brought up and taught with EI. Definitely something I will pass on if i have kids so they don't have to struggle like I did.
@@annah_robxx8795 I couldn't agree more! Both my parents have moderate to severe forms of narcissism. I was trained as a child to ignore my emotions in order to manage theirs. A lot of it is subconscious training of thought cycles you have to be able to both recognize and be willing to break. Individuals aren't denying a part of themselves. They don't know that part of themself and emotional freedom exist. It's like blaming the tiger for being comfortable in a zoo bc it knows nothing of the wild.
Emotional Intelligence is essential for a happy life!
Trending Topic this is exactly the opposite
Emotional intelligence and eating disorders
Yes but someone do not have of emotional intelligencia
Yes I am aggree with you
It's a virtuous cycle.
Books Mentioned: The Language of Emotions - Karla, Brené Brown (any book by her)
Thanks I appreciate it
Thank you 🙏😊😊😊
Amazing presentation, specially when assuming it’s in her second language. Very important topic.
Great talk. I think its a topic that people in general are not comfortable with. Mental health or emotional intelligence is very crucial. It will change the face of the world. Well done. .
Anurag Parashar i think mental health and emotional health are two different things. for me. it goes like this : spiritual, emotional ,mental and physical.
Well said
@@arielsanchez7930 No.
As long as we are alive, we will help as much as we can.
@@arielsanchez7930 I think they are linked. Your lack of it is due to disorders that are mental in nature. Psychopathic, Narcissistic, Borderline, Bi-Polar, Depression and many more are ALL emotional (or lack there of) and all mental health issues. It’s extreme my examples, but there are of course spectrums. But I do not believe they are separate by any means. Your mental health dictates your emotional responses, and will aid in emotional intelligence or lack thereof. In my opinion that is…
1. Acknowledge emotions as something valuable, express and talk about them erase the taboo
2. Differentiate and analyse the emotion
3. Accept and appreciate those emotions write down your emotions
-Reflect on your emotions and how to handle them
-Handle your emotions
-Write down your emotions to put distance between you and your emotions
-Talk to your friends to see how they handle their emotions
-Learn how to handle the emotions of others
-Ask them how they help them selves with their emotions and how you can help them with their emotions
-Educate the next generation to accept and appreciate and express their emotions on case studies
🙏🙏🙏thankgoddd thankgoddd thankgoddd good morning usmle 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🙏🙏🙏
Awesome talk. Thank you bringing the most underrated and wanted topic at the same time :)
I currently help people learn how to become emotionally intelligent considering it basically sets you free from the control your emotions have over you. People go through incredible and positive changes once they have mastered their emotions fully. Wonderful Talk!
Idk why this isn’t talked about more with the mental health crisis. Emotional intelligence can help anxiety and depression.
@@jackielowrey3032 could be because it always starts with the decision for the next step 🥰
This is my fav ted talk video. This is so impressed how much work you put to stand on the stage and talk so calmly. Good job :)
Love the simple explanation of EI, "knowing who you are." Keep up the great work!
Powerful words and tool to use in life. And yes, fear of trying to be self aware turns people whom cannot use these tools into miserable bullies
Like Donald Trump.
Watched this video more than 10 times. Great efforts! Truely inspiring for a person who is lack of emotional intelligence. And being a teacher I can understand how this subject will be beneficial for children and it must be implemented in schools curriculum. 😇👍
I am a teacher too. How can you apply EI in your teaching?
Emotions themselves are little axioms of wisdom. If you understand the children around you in a deeper level, and therefore can help them cope with their emotions will immediately lead to conflict resolutions, communication, understanding and growth. Children learn mostly by example, your class could be a crib of wise in relationships, interaction and leadership people. This alone makes the world a better place.
@@nguyettoleanh9288 Hold them accountable ...
Emotional Intelligence... That is what is needed today. In both situation online and in-person.
Thank you so much if the whole world would learn emotional intelligence this world would be such a better place 🌎
Thank you 🙏🙏
Thank you....I feel I really resonated with this person, especially with her story and introduction to emotional intelligence. This has given me a better clarity to process my heavy emotions and past mistakes.
As someone who has lost relationships because of my lack of EQ, I hope I learn this skill properly this time and that I’m successful.
Thank you sir 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😊
Awesome talk Ramona! Thank you! Very well presented and thought through. Emotional Intelligence taught in school could definitly change the world.
Sadly, i did not realize how much i lacked in emotional intelligence until I started smoking weed. That’s when i started working more on myself.
Damn
Lol
cool
Weed ain't the issue
@@myownperson1224 Please explain what you mean by that. I'm interested in reading what you have to say.
a powerful speech, i virtually took note for every single word and placed myself in a position of different emotions. its a really good start for me
Can you tell me how
This speech is worth spreading and sharing as much as possible. Very well presented and supported, and gives the action to be taken and the method to be followed. Bravo Ramona, the most beautiful and useful speech ever heard !
All the people who have been here may have happy and peaceful life living❤️
we have been so detached from our emotions, my family has always been very angry growing up (not know how to express emotions like hurt, sadness, grief) and that was the only emotion i knew to express because i was so comfortable using that. many of my relationships, friendships from the past don't feel strong/close because i have never been able to open up about my own vulnerabilities/emotions, this was until i came across Brene Brown's books which changed my entire life. hope there is more awareness about emotional intelligence and great video :)
Real emotional intelligence is knowing you can control your own emotions. It makes it so much easier to have relationships with people who think they don't have control of their emotions. Probably the worst is being confused about your emotions, in that case I find it best to label other person's emotions in a conflict, it gives them the space to evaluate if that's how they feel or not - and more importantly it gives them control to label their own emotions and open space for new thinking.
I just want to mention a book that I recently read about emotional intelligence. It's called AN EXTRAORDINARY APPROACH TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. I didn't know that much about EQ.
best ted after long days.. i see myself in the screen.. thank u❤❤❤
Being emotional intelligence means you can navigate your feelings and others around you! Thank you for the steps!
It took me my entire life to realize/acknowledge what I wanted and what I shouldn't accept. I had so much guilt from dysfunctional jobs/relationships. Now I know to say no to what won't fulfill me. I wish we were taught this!
She’s the best. Thank you so much for this speech
Emotional intelligence is the core of fundamental and logical thinking!
I couldn't agree more 😍
Why is the video so comforting?
Thanks for your openness and insights Ramona, Krisnamurti would shine a positive light on your presentation!
u should start writing poetry ^^/ *..
EI is as crucial as healthy and happy living. Thanks so much for sharing the knowledge 💖
Wow! Now I know what was happening to me when I was a teenager. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks for your speech! You are full of wisdom.
Such an important topic! I am working on becoming more emotionally intelligent.
I've never seen someone talk about this topic with such honesty, this video clarifies what we need to do to get peace in the world 👏👏🙌
Sorry if there is any mistake
No mistake :)
One of the best TED Videos that I have watched Recently. Really good tips. And I completely agree that we need to teach our next generation about emotional intelligence.
Thank you 🙏🙏
burnout is real! i've experienced it myself.
What is burn out please I may want to understand it further
This is great! Thanks for the talk and for the book recommendations Ramona and TEDx.
I appreciate this and I am still trying to understand my emotions. I often become too reactionary when it comes to managing emotions. It's affecting my relationships.
Amazing.Loads of blessings to all
you guys really are the best for putting down all the notes here!!! really helped me out big time!
I love the questions at the end. Never thought of such a world, boss or parent till now!
I would just like to add that meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, has been said to help tremendously.
Very helpful... I believe my adhd has gotten in the way of my emotional intelligence. Other things too, ego, background... it’s pretty nuts. But you are 100% one has to take the time to conscientiously work on it. 💯
I absolutely agree about teaching kids about emotions. I couldn't spot jealousy in a relative for more than two decades and it changed the course of my life for the worse.
Thank you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌🦅🦅
Simply the very best talk on emotional intelligence!
Warm greeting from Indonesia. Yes I do agree of the three aspects of emotional intelligence. You just reminded me of what I have learned from ESQ training class. I raise my awareness. Love you. Cheeeerrrrr!
The suggested Books in this awesome talk:
1-"Opening up by publishing it down" by Pennybaker and Smyth.
2-"The language of Emotions" by Karla McLaren.
3-Literally any book by Brene Brown is good to go.
Thanks! I might have to go get these books! I love Ms. Brown
Thank you for your sharing !
Im so glad i was able to find this video, being a beginner in learning about emotional intelligence has made me realize alot. Thank you for sharing 🥰
This is true. It would help those kids going through depression, which it means less suicidal thoughts for them. It would probably help those kids who become bullies to understand other people's feelings!
So good! Quality woman and human being.
Your voice is soooo soothing! Great speech! 😊
this material is what I'm looking for for my essay examination. Thank you so much Tedx Talks for providing this fantastic talk to us and extremely thank you to Ramona Hacker for giving me insights. Okay, I'm ready to write my essays again! Wish me luck!
wonderful! this is one of the best ted talks out there! loved it! emotional intelligence to take on intergroup conflicts is the most real and effective way of creating a just society. like ecofeminists say, we believe in conversion rather than revolution, person by person, action by action, thought by thought!
This was a great talk with practical steps towards EI, thanks
Last time when I saw this video I wasn't sure what she was talking.. By lately after questioning myself I never coped well when there was a big transition in life, I wrecked my life during those time without acknowledging why I feel the way I feel and didn't know how to handle my emotions.. This video helped me show some insights on what was wrong with me and how to handle it.. I'm 25 and wish I had known this earlier nevertheless It's never too late to learn anything.. Im atleast glad that I know now and now I can create awareness amongst my peers!
I wish I had your way of thinking when I was 25 😍
Great talk! Emotional education in schools and passing this knowledge to next generations -the great way to make a better future.
A world full of mutual understanding, acceptance and connection : if we all became emotionally intelligent
That is absolute nonsense, so cut it out already. There's no such a thing as "emotional intelligence" or "almond milk" or "white chocolate" or "trade deficit"...
We no longer know what universities are teaching.
We got people all over the place calling themselves "scholars" or "experts" who publish and write in academic journals and sit in scholarly or academic seats; they give speeches, they head departments… And you know that what they’re saying is COMPLETELY FALSE.
THE TRIUNE BRAIN THEORY AND NEUROLOGY COMPLETELY DEMOLISHES THE CONCEPT "EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE".
OMG... I love how she said grieving is taboo in society and we do all we can to block it out but really it's just a beautiful illustration of how we felt about something or someone. ❤🙏🤗
Teaching conflict resolution creates maturity and respect. [Wonderfull talk. Thank you Ms.Hacker]
Thank you sir 🙏🙏🐿🐿🐿🦅🦅🦅
Thank you for this topic! It was awesome :) Emotional intelligence really could help us with relationships. Not only with people, but even with our pets.
I am 37 and i have been watching ted talk for long time with many interesting topic! finally i got the knowledge little bit about emotional intelligence which i needed !Thanks ted talk!
Awareness of our emotions and understanding why we are having them, which is always an indicator if we are being tresspassed against or our needs of any kind are being met.When we know why we feel like we feel, imagine how that would stop many of us from displaying violence, displaced anger, making critical life altering decisions.
When you get into the habit of breaking it down you find the root cause of the issue because the emotion is only a symptom and then you can get to work.I agree this should be taught in public schools I am sure it would cut down criminal activity, suicide, addictions down significantly.Helping students identify emotion where it's coming from bringing solutions to the problem and learning how to manage anger effectively during that process.
We've done that... I personally believe most issues in the world stem from poverty and religion... Yet we can't seem to eradicate either one
Very useful for a 60+ starter. Thanks hugely.
It would change a lot to teach Emotional intelligence in schools👍🏻👍🏻
She was so calm and on the right pace while delivering this speech. Certainly she is emotionally intelligent ... 💕
I did all this by myself i notice i was emotionally intelligent
I think emotional intelligence is going viral. I have come to practically the same conclusions as this lady. I have been looking for years to improve myself and it took great turmoil and subsequent support to fast forward me on the track to emotional intellience and that is how I have ended up watching this video!
I feel the same way I think maybe the Internet has helped people share thoughts they’d otherwise keep to themselves or close friends
When you hear something which triggers your emotions, take a deep breath and consider a proactive response.
Thank you 🙏
听
Thank you Ramona Hacker for the speech.Good one.
One of my favorite Emotional Intelligence RUclips videos!
Thank you so much! Excellent ted talk!!!
I agree with Ramona Hacker assessment in "implement emotional education in school". Whatever that is missing in there family dynamic can be supplemented. Granted, it should not be a substitute for emotional well-being that suppose to come from family. But that maybe the only source for emotional understand that will be available to the child and family. Also, a thought to consider is that a lack of emotional understanding doesn't mean you are a bad parent but it may mean they are emotionally illiterate. Is like asking an illiterate person to teach a child how to read. The desire is there to educate but they may not be adequately prepared to teach the child about EI. So outsourcing through the education system should be an available option.
Very well spoken. Thank you for sharing.
Video was long, but GREAT info. Emotional Intelligence is the first of our 8 Principles! It’s such an important skill to develop!
Beautiful and powerful talk. Excellent tips thank you. I need this
Beautifully expressed ❤️
Not even halfway through the short video and I’m in tears because i feel so ROBBED! I don’t blame my upbringing because not only could it have been worse but also understanding that people do their best with what they’re given and not everyone had access or knowledge on how to raise kids the right way i guess. Idk but i never got a chance to explore my own thoughts and feelings i just did what i was told for the most part
I would love to implement emotional intelligence with my students. They will reap insurmountable benefits.
Thank you for highlighting the importance of this forgotten skill as the lack of it in my option lead to distort our lives by misunderstanding unconsciously. Great topic
Thankyou 🙏🦅
This was really helpfull to me ... I really needed this at this time.. I am feeling good after this video it really helped me
Love to be and have an emotionally skillful and intelligent friend, parent, teacher, leader and community
A useful and great topic. I can relate to all that the Speaker has covered in this talk. I'm working on my Emotional Intelligence. It is helping me cope better with life and people. The hardest component of Emotional Intelligence is handling the differences in how others (lacking in emotional awareness and intelligence) relate to me, especially family members who continue to see me through the same worn-out lenses and relate to me as they have always done, with Unconscious Incompetence. I despair of them ever reaching the "Aha" (Awareness) stage but it no longer matters to me. I have moved on and am in a better place.
This is an amazing talk!
switch to 1.25x
I switched to 1.5x!
Switched to 2.0 already!
how do u switch to higher speed?
got it thanks
1.75
I acknowledge that I'd be doing myself a favor by learning to healthily process my emotions. I just resent them. I resent the way that whole cognitive system works. It feels like an imposition, or an indignity. Emotions, both bad *and* good emotions, have always felt like something being inflicted upon me, instead of an integral part of my being. One day, I hope to see transhumanist technologies which rewire the way the human mind experiences emotions, and brings them more directly under conscious control so there's less grappling with them, and more choosing them.
To teach students about emotional intelligence one way could be to have a movie time once in a week or twice a week where they would be shown a movie and then they can be asked to share their views either orally or in a writing.
I could understand when you said that" a damage to the emotional intelligence can effect the rational decisions a person can make. It is that important."
Thank you 🙏