The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala
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- Опубликовано: 9 май 2024
- Everyone has the ability to build mental strength, but most people don't know how.
We spend a lot of time talking about physical strength and physical health, but much less time on mental strength and mental health.
We can choose to perform exercises that will help us learn to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and behave productively despite our circumstances - the 3 basic factors of mental strength. No matter what your goals are, building mental strength is the key to reaching your greatest potential.
Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist. Since 2002, she has been counseling children, teens, and adults. She also works as an adjunct psychology instructor.
Amy’s expertise in mental strength has attracted international attention. Her bestselling book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, is being translated into more than 20 languages.
Amy’s advice has been featured by a number of media outlets, including: Time, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, Business Insider, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Success, Glamour, Oprah.com, TheBlaze TV, and Fox News. She has also been a guest on dozens of radio shows.
She is a regular contributor to Forbes, Inc., and Psychology Today. She serves as About.com’s Parenting Teens Expert and Discipline Expert.
As a frequent keynote speaker, Amy loves to share the latest research on resilience and the best strategies for overcoming adversity and building mental muscle.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Whom so ever watching this video, I wish you health, wealth and lot of happiness to you from the bottom of my heart.
Same for you too❤️ thanks you
Thanks Vatal s:)
You're so nice, thank you and best wishes to you too 💝
Thank you! Much love and stay safe out there ❤💯🙌🏾
Thank you, likewise!🤗
Nobody can provide better therapy than those who have gone for similar or worse experiences, and live to talk about it. Thank you for this Talk.
I love u
Every person goes through worst experience in life. It is different from person to person and varies People can have one or multiple bad experience to them.
When i said worse experience. I think about life put u down to the ground where u think u cannot seem to go back up. That is a way of life testing us if we can make it back to the path again.
Some people fail - those are the people who die than to live , commit the act of dying and succeeded and some people survive and found their way back in life.
Ok
Yeah it feels lot to hear it from those kind of people
Mg
Just to summarize some of the small steps she mentioned that will keep us mentally strong -
1. Practicing gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life and express gratitude for what you have, rather than dwelling on what you lack.
2. Comparing yourself only to your past self: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your personal growth and how you've improved compared to who you were yesterday.
3. Embrace uncomfortable emotions: Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, or scared, and then move on. This will help you gain confidence in your ability to handle discomfort.
4. Setting healthy boundaries: Establish limits with others to maintain a sense of control over your own life, without trying to control others or letting them control you.
5. Accepting life's inherent unfairness: Understand that life is not always fair, but this doesn't mean you're doomed to suffer. Focus on creating the life you want, despite the challenges you face.
6. Making small, positive changes: Start with one small change in your daily routine or habits that can improve your mental well-being, such as replacing a sugary drink with a healthier option or incorporating a few minutes of exercise into your day.
Thanks)
❤
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I watched the entire video, but I appreciate the summary too.
Thank you 🥹🥰
I cant imagine how heartbreaking it must be to lose your mother and your husband at such a young age, what a strong and brave woman.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing Amy, so much pain/hardships thrown your way 💔 Keep moving forward - you're an inspiration 🌟
I will pray for you!
@@AmyMorin ❤️❤️❤️
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“THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD COMPARE YOURSELF TO IS THE PERSON YOU WERE YESTERDAY”
First Last Gold.
The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday
First and last.........steal my words☺☺☺☺☺
I like this statement, It's ultra profound.
First Last YESSS
"no matter how much you've suffered, you aren't doomed to keep suffering"
that one really hit hard
I really needed this reminder today♥️
Suffering is optional. Pain cannot be avoided, but the decision to focus on painful things is a choice.
@@theresamcgallicher I'm guilty of this, pity for the poor orphan was v seductive. I catch myself wallowing every day. At beginning of talk she said, she was widowed & then lost her mother I immediately started competing with her story in my head.
Still I try like the Japanese say Fall 7 times Rise 8
@@KateBates22zabu The ability to focus on the positive aspects of life versus the negative is the most powerful skill that one can have, but it does take mind training. The default is to always go to the negative.
@Dante Toshiro64 It can end and pass before then. No need to wait for death.
3 ways to develope a strong mental mindset:
- remove unhealthy habits
- stop jealousy on others’ success
- accept that life is unfair
Honestly I really like it so much your words are too strong
When you look at her eyes it really shows that she has been through a lot but she is not broken.
God blessed her with resilience. She is a strong woman.
Probably the goomiest Ted talk I ever watched but one of the most impactful.
Thank you for this video.
I can't imagine how much she has suffered through her life
u can hear her pain in her voice but still a strong woman respect.
I noticed that too, I was expecting her to shed a tear or cry but she didn't. She's a very strong person.
@@Bibimbapski yup.
made me cry
I can feel it indeed respect ❤️
I agree. She's my mom.
"The only person you should compare yourself to is the person that you were yesterday."
Wow...tat makes lot of sense....and perfect
And the person you could be tomorrow
~Asian kid
no of course not your past does not define who you are or who you were if you made mistakes is fine and I believe that comparing yourself like that is not healthy
So true and right.
someone posted a Kendrick's Lamar quote " I used to think it was me against the world when really it's me vs me"... so true!
Except that you're your own person, and other people are seperate from you,the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday❣️
The best line.
Accept*
The only person you should compare yourself to is God, the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only one worthy of our worship and the only one worthy of all the glory. Amen!
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Run to Jesus!
Trust in Him alone!
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If you have defected from God then read these Scriptures: (Lost Sheep, Luke 15:1-7 - Lost Coin, 15:8-10 - Lost Son, 15:11-32 - Rich Man and Lazarus, 16:19-31) Jesus is calling you back home, read His word, believe and repent. Saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone!
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The world is racing toward "AMAGEDDON" !!! And people need to get right with the Lord!
If you have not read the books of (Daniel chapters 7-12), (Ezekiel chapters 37-39) (Matthew chapters 24:1-51 + 25:1-30), (1 Thessalonians chapters 1-5), (2 Thessalonians chapters1-3) and (Revelation chapters 6-19), now would be a good time. They will explain a lot about what is going on right now!
These books will cover the "Wars" about to come, the catching up / the blessed hope, World judgement, hence the Tribulation and the Great Tribulation! These books will also be the most ominous and scary for the unbelievers and the most exciting and uplifting for those who believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior!...
It is my hope and prayer that people would repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ before all these things take place, because it is going to be very, very scary if you do not and you decide to wait and see what happens.
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May the Lord encourage you to seek the truth, in Jesus' name. Amen and Amen.
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All glory be to God. Amen!
What i took from this video:
give gratitude, counter unhealthy beliefs, exercise good mental habits, stop comparing yourself to other people. only person you should compare yourself is to the person you were yesterday, accept that life isn't fair, set goals, you can change the outcome of your world, what's one small step you can take today to change your bad mental habits right here right now.
Wonderful talk.
"The only person I should compare myself to is the person I was yesterday." A WORD!
Reminds me of Lee
Absolutely. I love that!!! True
Amara, Avoid comparing yourself with anybody or anything. Practical steps are needed to reprogramme your mind. Reduce negative thoughts to relax. Its quite simple with a little determination. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night before sleep sit or lie down still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Do the above practice daily to have a good life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
❤
@; and that's ok too :)
Really trying to be mentally strong to beat depression and suicidal ideation. I must fight; I cannot give up. This helped a lot. Thanks.
Keep fighting. You're not alone! I hope you're alright. Stay strong, dear one! May your life be filled with happiness.. I hope you will find your way.
There are lot of people that you can go and speak to...like this nice woman...you will feel better once you put eveything out of your system...I really hope you will try...
I send you lot of ❤❤❤
This will be one of the most awesome things you'll do for yourself in your life... Mark my words!❤️
Don't give up, I wish you all good things for your life
I wish you all the best and happiness in your life♡ I love you keep fighting for yourself ♡♡♡
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Prolly one of the most important things anyone has ever told me
I just wanted to come here almost 5 years later to say: THANK YOU, AMY!!!! I watched many talks, read tons of books and listened to many podcasts, but this particular speech saved me and cured my addiction! Your story and perspective touched my soul ❤❤ Thank you
How did you do it? Did you make other better habits instead?
@@ebrelus7687 hey, sorry to reply just now… Haven’t seen it before, but due the optimistic reply from today I at least got the chance to see it.
Honestly, there was something about what she said that inspired me to change. In a way: “Stop throwing a pity party”, “Life isn’t fair and no one owes you anything”, “You are the main character of your story and you can make that story whatever you want it to be about”. I think she had it tough and to see how everything worked out for her at the end (to some extent) gave me the practical perspective of that when one door closes, another opens. I started journaling with check list with small daily tasks, read books and changed small everyday habits - which lead to me having a very different daily life than before.
P.s. would strongly recommend “Reinventing your life” by Jeffrey Young
@@ebrelus7687 did you include, as I did the hyper link of your name in your request as to the “how?”
Are they supposed to be physic? Honest questions….
@@user-hq5ps7dx7d this is exactly what she was referring too… unhealthy beliefs about others, #2 . Sounds like you are not conscious of your own unhealthy thoughts towards others. Sad, but true.
Ted talks are like a free therapy session for me.
Thank you 🌼
FACTS
For me too....
Yes! For me too. They give me motivation.
There you go again. You are the same who commented on another video that you didn't have a proper family, if I recall correctly. Looks like we are on same Ted talk marathon.
@@KrishanBorwal Ted talks really help, don't they? It has been a month since my marathon and I feel a lot better. They give me new insights to go on with life a bit longer. I am glad that so many of us find this helpful.
Incredible person who is reading this. Want to let you know that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. Blessings upon blessings come to you daily. Everything you need it’s on its way to you! Be ready to receive! You are healthy. You are strong. You are capable. True wealth is coming for you. You are blessed beyond measure. You are loved so much by many. Receive this TRUTH! Bless you always with everything great you deserve. You are greatness!
Thank you for those very powerful words! I can't believe they almost moved me to tears; they are so rare to hear.
I've lost the love of My life, the man of my dreams, my husband who seemed to be everything to me . I've been through a lot alone, despite having all people's support . Now I feel like I have nothing to lose. What makes me stronger is that i have to work harder to meet him afterlife.
She's been through a lot. I hear the grief in her voice. God give you the peace of mind that passes all understanding..
Yeah.
And her eyes have alot more to say...💔💔
God bless her
There is no god!
From better or worst how could I think about that while why not me huh
@@JustAWatcher73 Right!!!
Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions thoughts and behaviors in the ways that set them up for success in life check out these things that mentally strong people don't do so that you too can become more mentally strong.
1. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
Mentally strong people don't sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn't always easy or Fair.
2. They don't give away their power.
They don't allow others to control them and they don't give someone else power over them. They don't say things like "my boss make me feel bad" because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.
3. They don't shy away from change.
Mentally strong people don't try to avoid change. Instead they welcome positive change in are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.
4. They don't waste energy on things they can't control.
Did you hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams?! But Instead these people focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes the only thing that they control is their attitude.
5. They don't worry about pleasing everyone.
Mentally strong people recognize that they don't need to please everyone all the time. They are not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair but can handle other people being upset if they didn't make them happy.
6. They don't fear taken calculated risk.
They don't take reckless or a foolish risk but don't mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time waiting their risk and benefits before making a big decision and they are fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.
7. They don't dwell on the past.
Mentally strong people don't waste time and dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They aknowledge their past and can say what they've learned from it. However they don't constantly relieve bad experiences or fantasize about the Glory Days. Instead they live for the present and plan for the future.
8. They don't make the same mistakes over and over.
Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result they don't keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead they move on and make better decisions in the future.
9. They don't resent other people's success.
Mentally strong people can't appreciate and celebrate people's success in life. They don't grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead they recognize that success comes with hard work and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.
10. They don't give up after the first failure.
Mentally strong people don't view failures as a reason to give up. Instead they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.
11. They don't fear alone time.
Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don't fear silence. They aren't afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoyed their own company and aren't depend on other for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.
12. They don't feel the world owns them anything.
Mentally strong people don't feel entitled to things in life. They weren't born with a mentality that others will take care of them or that the word must give them something. Instead they look for opportunities based on their own merits.
13. They don't expect immediate results.
Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground mentally strong people don't expect immediate results. Instead they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.
Wow. This comment is underrated. Thank you so much dear💖
God bless you
Lol..a person person list
Did you write this?
@@RadiantlyElla no. Reposted. Sharing is caring no??!
In the past eighteen months, my mother, father, and brother who was my best friend and only sibling, all passed away. My parents were in their 90’s, my brother early 70’s. I divorced an abusive narcissist in the midst of it all. They say what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. That isn't always true. It's how you face it and process it, and move forward. I should have a superhero cape by now. I have to, as I have two brilliant sons to care for in life. Interesting how videos like this show up at the right time.
I hope you are well! You are so strong. I wish the best for u and your sons
This is heartbreaking 😢 I lost my dad and brother suddenly and turned to alcohol, for tears and years it was my crutch and it clouded all my grief, I grieved through alcohol and "friends did not help, I nearly ended my life at a few stages. I am in a good place now without it, we see things alot differently after these traumas. I wish you all long healthy life ❤
"Becoming strong doesn’t start in the gym. It starts in your head"
How do I become stronger in my head ):
So true
Why not go to gym ? You can becoming strong both. Dont make excused
@@pshmps1836 the meaning is that strength comes from your mind, not your muscles. But yes, do still go to the gym haha
@@oatmealgains2617 learn (ofcourse know who you're learning from)
I just lost my husband a month ago he was only 26...I'm a 23 year old widow , I don't even know how I got to this video...You are a strong woman we have the same story. I have a hope
sorry for your loss, i hope you're doing fine :s
problem comes in life but u have to keep going
KARTIK SINGH NEGI yes I keep going, I read a lot and whenever I feel numb I watch this video to feel better. Thank you
aya khalifa i feel a lot better now, thank you
Sending you love from NC. Grieve however you need to. 💜
They say third times a charm, I have pass my step 1 finally🎉🎉 for all my repeat test takers don't give up and don't be discouraged.
I failed 3 times, i lost money to reviews that never helped but the major thing is that I've not lost hope
You will pass Every one has their own season,just keep going pray and believe you will receive
@@nancydonna3895 I'm sorry about your plight my friend but i was once in your shoes before i was recommended to Mrs Catherina Moore and that's how i passed My USMLE Steps exam
I used some Kaplan, and took some much time in my online classes still my step 1 result came back failed
I only studied a lot when i went for the first time last year but the second time was so easy, all thanks to my aunt who introduced me to Mrs Catherina Moore am really grateful
She is so brave, just talking about this whole without collapsing in tear. There is always hope in life no matter what we are going through
Yeah. If you want more proof, read Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.
“I always thought it was me vs. the world until I found it was me vs. me”
Kendrick Lamar
Minha linda não me deram nada dessa forma nunca me deram nada que eu nunca você é uma mulher alguém me dá água para você você não conhece eu estou alguém que confessa alguém que comete crime comete um crime da água para alguém pessoas que mesua visão ou nasceu a sua sabedoria para mim eu nunca pedi nada para
Se se dá a algo para alguém dessa forma aí seria muito fácil alguém pegar o creme fácil de cometer o crime e jogar tudo e juízo comentando morando com pessoas
Esmola é ela que levanta a saia e oferece para os outros nos vídeos ela é as mola que ganhar dinheiro levantando a saia
ou essas palavras se o juiz fosse juiz de verdade ela estaria preso mas o juiz juiz tá sempre corro que tô sendo sendo vítima dosaltura de um juiz tá fazendo a palhaçada e a******** junto com ela e eu tô sendo vítima alguém esperado em juízes que faça alguma coisa para eles comose tiver se estivesse mentindo ele se ele tinha feito algoela entra lá como uma criminosa e sair como vítima eu tô sendo vítima dos próprios juízos o que que é a letra do ar como uma criminosa e sai como o vídeo colocandoquando ela entra lá eu devia apresentar as provas não saindo fazendo comentário dessa estou sendo vítima dos próprios
Eu vou estar livre qualquer lugar do mundo dessa forma que os reaiseu vou estar sempre livre qualquer lugar do mundo para abrir o bloco porque se ele vai agir com ofensa um palavras criminosa eu sou eu sou direitoe quando eu entro no país em bloco diferente eu não estou sendo criminoso estou sendo vítima se conseguir se eles entraram se eu entrar e se ele recebe o dessa forma qualquer eles coloca tempo todo estou livre porque eu não só estou lhe sempree eu tô o tempo todo estou sendo a vítima deles e do juízo próprio juiz
You can literally feel the grief in her voice. She's such a strong person
yeah.. true..we all need to move on mentally up the ladder no matter whats happen
Mahesh Javvadi true. Perspective is everything!
I heard it too... I felt it. Empaths can literally feel the words
Hi
@@dishnaranasinghe4280 yes indeed agree wid you
I watched halfway through this video and her words really inspired me. I realized that it’s unhealthy how I’ haven’t talked to my boyfriend about how toxic our relationship has gotten lately, and it’s been so hard on me. So I paused the video and sent him a text and we finally talked about it, after almost a month of me overthinking this everyday. We broke up. And while that’s sad, it’s also liberating. Because now I can finally move on. Thank you so much for this video and for your words, they really helped me 🙏🙏 also sending big hugs to anyone that’s going through a rough time right now
i'm proud of you!
Awesome! You saw the advice given and most importantly, you took action. That’s the first step and something a lot struggle with. I applaud you and wish you luck for your future!
What was the reason?
I feel small to even think of my "troubles" when listening to this amazingly brave lady.... wish her the best of the world has to offer....
I felt the same thing 💔 loosing her mom at early age, being widow at 26, loosing her dad in law… how could she overcome these dooms she’s really strong 💪🏻
samee
"Comparison is the thief of joy" -Theodore Roosevelt
Isabel McNeill quote I live by
Wow. Thanks. 👍
Yeah it's true.
Very true!
@@karaokay5444. ?
Such a painful talk, I never heard it before. She is literally crying inside during talk. Brave woman.
You are not your thoughts. You are stronger than you think. You can stay mentally strong through meditation. Findings ways to relax in any situation can make your overall mental fortitude stronger. You're able to focus more consistently. 🕊
need to learn meditation please?
“Accept the fact that life is not fair. It can be liberating.” True.
But why so man 😭😭😭😭
ok ????
Actually some people think the opposite. Life is fair because doesn’t discriminate anything could happen to anybody. It is other way to think about it.
@@audrechan9313 ok cool
Never!
Make it fair!
You may not give a damn because you hide your laziness or awful weakness, but what about the others who suffer?
She is so strong...I struggle with petty things every day. Just the fact that she's experienced so much devastating loss and can still stand up is a triumph of human spirit. ❤️
Ikr, I try to control little things in my life.
That's just human psyche being human psyche. Nothing to do with being strong or not mentally. Other people tolerate losses better than others. It really just depends on how badly that particular psyche takes those things. It is non-voluntary action of a mind. Some are better in taking personal losses than others. No free will baby, not in any way. It is an illusion.
You are pretty :)
honestly...We all struggle with petty things :D The key is to accept how you feel, take a deep breath and then move on. Haha the number of times a friend's petty remarks have brought me down is amazing lol! but I accept how he made me feel, take a deep breath and move on. Everyone experiences tough situations differently, the important thing is not to be hard on yourself for feeling how you feel. When you've accepted your feelings, it is no longer a huge, psychological wrestler and you are free to allow your brain to work out solutions.
Maddy Harvey when you go through so much loss like her.you get molded into a stronger person.
Today I was a little bit down so this sure cheered me up a bit and gave me hope. Also made me realize that I'm still in control of my thoughts and feelings. Thank you, Amy!
'People don't really value things until they've lost them', watching this reminded me of that. Taking for granted is a mistake anyone can easily make.
"the only person you should compare yourself with is the person you were yesterday"
👍
stunning and eye-opener
What if I prefer the person I was when I was 14, when nothing mattered?
its your personal demand. i don't judge you.
Ya but then the quote is fruitless in that you cannot really compare yourself to a version of yourself under a completely different environment.
“Take your time healing, as long as you want. Nobody else knows what you’ve been through. How could they know how long it will take to heal you?” - Abertoli
I really needed to hear that
AMEN🙏🏻,you are so correct!
Gòod observation. But a time will come when you will ask your self, " Am i not dwelling on this for too long ?" At that point it is time to move on with your life.
Thanks so much for writing this. Best quote ever
thank you, really needed this
This was such an eye opener. I was complaining about my problems just a few mins before this video. This helped gain so much perspective. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and knowledge. Hope you're doing well :)
From me to anyone reading. Be truly patient with yourself. Life is a series of good and bad days. It’s ok to remember, but don’t dwell. Look back only momentarily and then take a step forward. You are doing your best and that looks different every day. Moving on takes time. You will eventually be the person you were before.
Thank you stranger, this means a lot
"Dont compare yourself to others
Just Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday" 10:55
That Quote hit me
Write it down somewhere u can see it everyday
@@talkingtoawall5123 Thx i wrote it down on my calender in my room.
@@daftking1115 i wasnt begging just thought id forget 🤔
Do not compare yourself at all...just accept yourself as you are say thank you to mother nature to make you whatever you feel to be like..just go ahead in your life with all your energy....
That was one of the biggest things I took from this too
Summary: get rid of bad mental habits ---->
1. Self pity (exaggerating problems)
2. Victim mentality (thinking that ppl/situations have the power to hurt you, instead of thinking how you can choose to respond)
3. Expecting that life is fair (that if you work hard, you'll find success)
Developing mental strength is just like developing physical strength. Cultivate good mental habits (healthy food) and get rid of bad ones (junk food). Practice daily to train your brain (gym). Start small. Keep going.
Nafisa Rahman thank you
❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for this beautiful message
Nafisa Rahma
tysm
2022 and still such a powerful message to send. The strength this talk and to continue with life
A talk which is good and also feels good. Thanks to this lady for enriching my day. My message to everyone reading is to keep on going. Stay strong and be blessed!
She only started smiling when she talked about how much she helped her client, she's a good person hope she continues finding good things in her life.
a very sad story but really impressive, her voice sounds like crying inside, but she chooses to shine after the storm
her book really was a turning point in my life thank you Amy
Hi, thought she was great to listen to. What's her book called? thank you :)
Nancy Hambly it's called
13 things mentally strong people don't do, very good one. i read it in epub format you can google it
omg, i thought the same thing. you can hear her sadness but her strength to carry on. so inspiring.
+Luluș Ione well I would look at you how emotional you could get if your relatives keep dying !!!
i just cant understand where these ppl get there strength..amazing
My own mother died when I was 11 years old. I am now 21. For a lot of my life I’ve been denying the mental anguish that comes with such early loss. It is extremely detrimental to deny the past and keep taking life day by day. I’m learning to accept the past in order to appreciate the present and plan for the future. Mental strength can’t come in a moment. Everything takes time and focusing on myself has been the only way that I’ve been able to find peace. I hope everyone watching this video can find the peace within themselves too.
as a 17 year old who always envy people with understanding parents,caring people,independent thoughts i always spent my days feeling sorry for being born in a family which suppress my thoughts , for having people who hate me around, i have become really weak in this lockdown with past thoughts and people’s words around hurting me,i cry often nowadays and have no one to share things with.but let me go through may be one day i will be able to live the life i want💪🏻♥️
It's exactly the same with me. You're not alone.
You're not alone. Guys, I believe in you. May your life be filled with happiness.. I really hope you will find your peace one day
@@lucentyr thank you so much ❤this comment made me happy
@@zachmustachio340 everything will be healed soon❤
I can relate to your comments. I hope you are doing better ❤❤
To whoever needs to hear this, just like me, I hope we'll slowly overcome the unwanted feelings we are both going through! ✨
Me too!!!🙏🏻
😒😒😒
how are you feeling now
I hope so, I'm going to try
nice
To become mentally strong we must maintain mental hygiene: get rid of bad mental habits like complaining, envy, destructive self attacks and adopt healthy mental habits like gratitude, compassion and positivity.
I love when you shared that you needed to monster your mental power and to use all the knowledge about mental strength in order to heal: knowing how to overcome trauma and actually living it are two different things.
Thank you for the talk. Watched it like 4 or 5 years ago and it is still making me cry today when I found this again. I hope you are doing well, Amy
"The only way to get through uncomfortable emotions is to get through them."
every 60 seconds a minute passes
I read this comment as she said in the video
The only way out is through...
By deleting facebook and instagram my life changed 180 degrees. I started focusing more on my life not caring about how beautiful the life of others is. Also setting a plan for my day and using the time I spend surfing the internet carefully made me a much happier person.
The phrase that is motivating me to achieve something new everyday is "The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday''.
I have been searching for a solution against all the depressions that I'm having and this video was and is a life-savor for me.
Your right .... Facebook can instigate people's negativity about how their lives are not in line with all the happy people ...... it's a narcissist playground....and damages people belief on how their lives should be ...... I wonder how many people were satisfied with their lives before being subjected to others ? ... life before Facebook...... take me back!
mine too
still trying but I really have been feeling much better after Instagram-free life. Now trying to slowly cut back on facebook
Mahmoud Ahmed delete youtube and it will change to 270 degrees
Mahmoud Ahmed I’m on it!
My mom killed herself almost three years ago… and it seemed like my whole life fell apart. But in her death I started self seeking and realized that bc of everything I’d endured from such an early age, that my life was already on its last seams that just snapped the last few there. These have been the biggest things I struggle with. I am trying so hard to get there and it’s so much easier said than done. But I think if I never give up it might just maybe actually get there, to that place I need to be to e mentally stable. Just keep me in ur prayers y’all. It’s hard to unlearn all the past and our learned protective behaviors and open urself up to others and be vulnerable and supportive and caring when all you’ve ever known is guarding and violence. I just want to be better and be different than all I’ve ever known. And I’ve felt so helpless falling into the same things my parents struggled with and did. But I think knowing this and working to change it is the first step. I have taken it, I just need to keep stepping and maybe I can have the mental stability that she speaks of that I crave so badly.
Thank you for sharing your story and helping us move on from our losses. It is so true that self-care for our mental health is as important as caring for our bodies. Although it does take years to develop healthier habits, it only takes 7 days of repetition for a good start to develop the habit you would like to have. I have proven this true when I chose not to be late for work anymore. Each day I clocked in early I would mark it on my calendar. If I came in late during the 7-days, I would start over and go back to Day-1. Eventually, I was clocking in early each day for the next 90 days. Which became 6 months, then a whole year. Start with small steps. One day at a time. Each day is a new beginning!
THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD COMPARE YOURSELF TO IS THE PERSON YOU WERE YESTERDAY
Amazing idea. Thanks.
Stolen lol copy and paste
I just heard that and was very impressed
@@martinanderko9893 it was my favorite quote from this video
@@eljota1633 stolen? I guess. I’m quoting her
procrastination by watching ted videos are holding me back from filling my destiny in the universe.
Me too, bro... I hope they have a Ted talk on this issue
These videos are knowledge that can be used later on.
me too - can you do ted talk on that pls
Procrastination by watching ted videos is holding me back too. But it's a lame excuse. :-)
i don`t think so , watching whatever videos are , is part of your destiny , for learn and upgrade yourself and be better :D
i can feel her choking up while talking about her mother. remember even experts and people who have been on this journey since forever still struggle with mental strength. don't beat yourself up, it takes time. keep fighting
When she started about the 3 year anniversary I think I said 'no' the most time in a row ever in my life yet. I definitely couldnt handle that yet. Biggest respect to her.
Social media is toxic and makes you feel depressed especially in these pandemic times.People really need to realize this cuz this is gonna cost all of us a lot!
So true, i stopped using insta. Ppl post their perfect lives and i actually started envying a friend so much that i felt bad abt it..life is more peaceful without social media
I agree but I also disagree. Its ultimately again a choice. Yes indeed Instagram consumed way too much of my time and I did not so anything productive all day, but ultimately it was my own choice to keep scrolling watching reels. Yet the very same reels have helped me change my perception on life and helped to be grateful of things around me and helped to be more at peace. My life is not perfect. But nothing in nature is.
@@bhuvaneshwarij1326 yes, it is but if we learn how to use them in a appropriate way thn we would be in a safer side of mental state.
@@gaurigoyal3398 Take a journey inwards. Reduce negative thoughts to relax and reach a state of equanmity. . Its quite simple with a little determination. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night before sleep sit or lie down still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Do the above practice daily to have a good life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
true
I have this strange complex and have had it for awhile. I'm a 24 year old guy that has never been in a relationship and when I do see other people my age that are in relationships, engaged, or married, I automatically put them on a pedestal. Like they're better than me in every way. No more of this though 👍
Trust me, many of them envy you :) 100% sure. They see you and think "I wish I had ... like Eye of Horus", "I wish I was as ... as Eye of Horus", "I wish I did this and that with my life as Eye of Horus". It always works like this. We have many positive qualities, but we can't have all the possible awesomeness in our lives because that would be impossible. So we tend to think that someone who is slightly more awesome in just one aspect, that we're obsessed about at the time, is some kind of mysterious perfect being. While they're thinking the same thing about us.
Nastaran Zameni Number of reasons. I don't go out, lack of confidence, fear of rejection. I've been working on these three though.
do what is right for you -------I love being single
I actually understand where you're coming from. I'm 23. No kids, and I'm not married. I'm not even dating,but I see everyone i graduated with has already started their lives with families and I feel like I'm on the slow train lol. So I know what you mean.
Eye of Horus never do that they only human and getting married does not mean ur above anyone else. and their life is not perfect at all.
I admire Amy for being able to deliver this speech without breaking down. I definitely have small bad habits to change today. I need to master the secret of mental strength.
you are so strong, and your ted talk changed my entire outlook on life, I've been the happiest I've ever seen myself for a year and a half straight since viewing. thank you
Craving for outside love & attention wastes your time. Crave 4 growth in your inner self, crave for knowledge & purpose instead.
Well said
I learned that today, and to walk in my purpose. Doing anything else just makes you depressed.
That's so true.
Until everybody jumps onto the next wagon nowadays makes it harder for those who got off way ahead of them makes me honestly stop acknowledging people because it’s a time where everybody saying there going to do better but to me really you all want act better just be yourself even if it’s not fair ok
So true! I had to find this out the hard way :(
For those who have their mother still alive, go give them a big hug right after this video. If she's far, call her and tell her you love her 💖
what if shes a manipulative and controlling narcissist that is emotionally abusing you and stealing money from you, should you still be giving her a big hug?
@@voguexperimental Everyone's mother is different. My mom doesn't take money from me but she does emotionally abuse me. I personally feel like she'll always see me like a failure...which is why the title of this video caught my attention. I want to be strong...but it's not been easy. Even though my mom has said hurtful things to me and makes me feel not good enough I still love her for at least being there for me and not just kicking me out. One time she fainted and I freaked out thinking I lost her forever. I want to be there for her till her time ends.
The comment I put was a simple message to value the good that you have. I know I'll miss her presence when her time is done. I'm sorry if my comment offended you. It was not my intention to hurt anyone here. I don't know what would be the best answer for your question, but hopefully someone can provide a good answer for you here. Mothers can get on our nerves, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be shown some love 😔 maybe you can try telling your mother how she makes you feel and if she doesn't listen to you, you can try finding other ways. You don't need to stay hurt forever.
I will need to call my mom and tell her that I love her 😍💜🙏🏼
@@mabelidove6813 I love how you think. My mom died when i was 17yo. Everybody should appreciate what their mother does for them because being a mother isn't an easy thing. And as long your mother loves you and cares about you, you should show her respect, hug her, tell her you love her because those small things you do really make her feel good and makes her appreciate you more aswell. Those small things fixes alot of stuff... Death is so unexpected so take 10 minutes of your day to talk to your mom, tell her nice things or talk to her about what she likes to do, what her favourite color is, what was the funniest thing that have happened to her when she was your age... These small talks will mean alot when someone is gone. Because when someone is gone you can't ask them anything.
Just wonderful, I have been researching "subconscious power" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Giyoe Fonogan Builder - (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my brother in law got amazing results with it.
I'm over here studying about mindset and found this! Omg, perfect. Life is ever changing. "Our world is what we make it".
Probably one of the most important TED Talks that anyone trying to tackle any issue should see. It's the foundation for all other activities.
Her personal story - unbelievable.
Her presentation style - very effective.
Her message - tremendously important.
Anthony Gagliano Also have you seen what shes wearing? She looks like a million bucks :-)
Her voice sounds like she is crying out from inside.
Shahnewaz Md. Sunvee i figure that out !! I believe she still in pain
I literally felt like she was crying in between where she mentions her mom's death.
I thought the same, I don't think she is healed but her advice is sound!
Abosulately such as me, she is crying in deep of her heart....
How could she not.
Her speech was inspire me so much. Thank you for healing and support for everybody by your stories, Amy :)
Lying on the sofa here in England with a throbbing inner ear infection. It's not even a fraction of the pain Amy talks about, and physical pain is always easier than emotional but I'm realising how pain of any kind can be a teacher. I had something of a private pitty party yesterday, but today, and with the help of videos like this I recognise that I can actually use the objectively unpleasant experience I am having, not only to be 'not as bad as it could be', but actually net positive. What if this agonising pain that has arbitrarily been inflicted upon me for a few days acts as a catalyst to show me a whole new way to deal with negative ocurrences in life, which of course can and will be much worse than this one?
Three or four days of pain and sickness would be a very cheap price to pay for a complete change for the better in my mindset when it comes to dealing with future challenges. Imagine if my current discomfort is actually equipping me with essential tools I will need in the future when I get a harder test, such as I or a loved one getting a terminal diagnosis?
I got my infection, most likely, from the local water authority and its tendency to outlet raw sewage into bathing water during heavy rain (got ill the day after swimming at a local beach). But in 24 hours Ive gone from abject hatred of this occurrence to gratefulness for the opportunity it is potentially affording me for improvement.While I'm not minded to pen a letter of thanks to Southern Water, I do feel like this experience, along with the useful content I am consuming during it is moving me towards greater enlightenment, which is something I can be grateful for.
We cannot control what happens to us, but it is entirely up to us what we choose to do with it.
She's so strong to talk about her life in front of every one
Thank you!
"Why do my friends have it better?"
That line hit me. So bad. I am crying as I recount everything. Its... its horrible. This video hit me really hard.
Hey, sorry to hear that...cant give any good advice since i know nothing about you. however, something that helped me a lot to understand more about myself and why i feel bad is watching/ reading Jordan Peterson. e.g. "stand straight with your shoulders back" = learn/show that you are somebody not anybody. people will tell you that you should focus on yourself and not others, which is extremly difficult to achieve, but it helps when you start recognizing yourself as somebody and articulate your own goals. sooner or later, what others do wont be so imoprtant anymore, but it takes time (like learning an instrument), be patient but persistant.... i wish you all the best
yep that was me I used to envy happy people until I started changing my thought process and figured out how to make myself happy
I know a woman I envied a lot because I found she was so good looking, better than I: now after having had diabetes through her life her situation got bad and last week she went to the hospital to have her leg cut under the left knee!!!!
What a lesson to learn and not forget.
Hope your OK x
I have had ocd for about 4 years now, it’s mentally drained me the last 3 and a half years. But in the December of 2021 I decided I need to find a cure, a way out. I discovered this therapist on RUclips that specializes in ocd and anxiety. He helped me threw my problems it all began with me really fighting against my thoughts, by agreeing with them. This might sound weird but it helped me. I felt stronger mentally, I kept watching him and I’m almost free of my ocd! I just have to keep fighting and it all started with me self reflecting, If I wanted the rest of my life to be like this. Keep fighting what your fighting don’t give up. It gets better eventually but don’t think that the world should feel sorry for you. You have to be strong so keep fighting!🙏🏾🤝❤️
hello i just wanted to ask what is the therapist on youtube called
I have watched your TEDx several times and every time I do it moves my feelings and makes me realize something new about myself. Thank you for exposing your vulnerabilities for the rest of us to heal.
That was. hands down. my favorite Tedx Talks ever! This should be a mandatory lesson before graduating high school.
I am looking forward to enjoying this then.
It was interesting. Food for thought.
really? glad i find this then, i am going to college in a few weeks lol
like the educational system would want that lool
Pabsgc Beats the elite wants slaves a society full of mentally strong free thinkers is their worst nightmare
Holy fucking shit, this woman is a goddamn warrior. What. Seriously. I'm amazed.
Exactly my thoughts. What a person. Respect to her.
Loved the talk!! Holy moly~~
loved too
Chill the fuck out
She has a book called "13 Thing Mentally Strong People Don't Do." It is amazing and I highly recommend it for everybody. I've personally read it twice, have it all highlighted up and have journalized main points!
My mother passed from the same at age 55, i was only 28 at the time. I'm 42 now and I'm still grieving... thank you for your words
I found strength in believing I had to control my life, make my own decisions, make some mistakes and learn from them. I lost my mother at 27 with a husband in the USAF and 4 little girls. I didn't have a college degree but I was selective in my jobs and ended up with a great resume. In less than 25 years my husband and I owned a real estate office, I was a realtor, broker-owner and certified appraiser. My husband retired from Air Force and owned a trucking company. We never expected help but decided early own it was up to us and we put our girls through college and owned several pieces of real estate along with an 80 acre farm and a 40 acre farm. We were a good partnership and never looked back. We made it because we believed we could and had a lot of faith in God. I felt Blessed and still do.
Can't anybody become programmer without any college nowadays?
Listening to her story made think "I've red this story before" then I realized... She's the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do. One of my fave books!!!
Thank u am going to look for the book
Same! I was like this lady ripped her off! Lol love this book
@@estheronojapeter5375 me too
Where to buy that book tho?
@@mochimeng2637 amazon
Topics of the video, thank me later.
1. Unhealthy believes about yourself.
2. Unhealthy believes about others.
3. Unhealthy believes about the World.
How to train your brain:
Replace unhealthy believes with good ones.
First believe your changes and then actually do thr changes.
Thank you!
good summary!
Excellent speech very good information I don't do do social media but I'm not sure why you started with that but the grief and the fact that even though you're a therapist going through it yourself is different. Something I would like to hear more about is when you cannot forgive yourself. And how to keep functioning it's very hard to function. And thank God you didn't say call 911 get help or call grief counselor because all they do is call the police and make things worse. Yes I could tell you're very heartfelt and genuine thank you
Good, go on incel..........
Thank you
Lets all be healthy mentally! I love you all
I am so gratefull you shared your story and made me realise how a mindset should be to cope with every bad and sad keeps coming, regardless how hard you have to work to get it.
I feel lot of pain in her voice like she can start crying at any point... But it's pain that transforms you.
Lol, 😂 she naturally speaks like that😂
@@paridhiagarwal7411 there's nothing to laugh about.
@@cdko I wasn't even laughing at her. I just think she naturally speaks like that
@@paridhiagarwal7411 k
@@paridhiagarwal7411 the "lol" and two laughing emotes make it easy to assume you were laughing.
"The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday". Mind - > blown!
right.....words cant even describe how i felt after that
Brandon Kain #\26
Hello friend
I always come back to this video once in a while. This is one of my fave tedx talks. Thank you for this :)
I can't thank you enough for the invaluable insights you've shared; I've watched this video multiple times, and each time I've taken away something new, since just as the circumstances are unique, so, too, are our perspectives. Loads of good wishes and gratitude to everyone. :)
Knowing it and doing it are two different things
It's all practice. Like anything else
I think thats her point...
What I learned is that being wise is learning from the mistakes i have made. Being intelligent is knowing it all. I'd rather be wise!
" Don't compare yourself to others. You have to know that you are your own person and other people are separate from you " Loved that phase
Whom ever just clicked on the comments I hope you watch this wonderful enlightening video with an Open Heart and Open Mind and that you take Something away from this and it benefits your life. I wish you Nothing But Good Health and Happiness 😊. If u took the time to read my comment Ty so much ✨️
I can honestly say I don’t think much TED talk sticks out that I can remember in this moment but I have a feeling this will be the one I remember the rest of my life.
She's such a strong persson. She didn't break down or anything. What an inpiration.
Agreed. An incredible human being.
Even if she'd broken down, that wouldn't mean she's weak. She even talked about feeling emotions instead of resisting them.
Crying does not make you weak. Denying your emotions surely will but I get your point
I agree
There is no shortcut to being mentally and emotionally strong. No techniques. No meds. No counselling.
The only way you can get mentally strong is to endure. Endure pain. Endure loss. Endure disappointment. Endure failure.
The most important factor is TO BE WILLING to get through things. If that will is not there, NOTHING can help you.
But when you are willing and have the patience to endure and come to the other side ( the side where you are getting over it ) you will realize it didn't kill you. Or break you. If you can see that and realize that, you will also learn that you can in fact deal with things and that is when you get to know you have been and can be strong. It isn't so bad.
The brain really does fade away memories. How much do you remember of your college farewell ? Or your first date ? If you think about it, you will realize that you actually don't recall too much about it. And just like the good things, the bad things also fade.
That moment of decision when we have to decide whether to hang in there or to give up is the most crucial. The choice we make at that point is what decides our path forward.
this is amazing...thank you
YEP if i hear some one talking about BANK DEBT OR PROBLEMS i now take no notice,,,stick with winners,,
Saumya Jain, I most definitely agree and resonate with you.
Loved your talk I went through similar losses lost 3 members of my family in 4 years it was so traumatic it made me sick. I’m on the road to recovery now fingers crossed 🤞 as I have also changed my thoughts 💭. You are inspirational ❤️🙏
So good! Thank you so much for sharing your story as well as the one about the man who had diabetes who substituted diet soda for sugar soda. You walked with him side by side as he chose to make those changes. Super inspiring. I will share your talk.
Self pity is the worst it makes you weak, love yourself but dont magnify your misfortune, count your little blessings! Happiness starts from there. Always REMEMBER! GREAT DESTINY REQUIRES HARDSHIPS & OBSTACLES, THE MORE YOU SUFFER AND GET THROUGH THAT, YOU'LL BE THE BRAVEST AND STRONGEST! GOD BLESS YOU ALL💙
so perfectly said. Self pity is really the worst thing to have. I think it even hurt you physically,I had it and I'd literary feel pain in my heart.
You have Obviously Never suffered from Major Depressive Disorder
Yes, perfect.
How can u love ur self when everyone hates u tho
@@arjminder433 I’m sure there are plenty of people that love you :)
I lost my 3.5 year old daughter years ago of the flue, then in 2015 my wife of 25 years of aneurysm so I know your pain and really could use this....THANKS
So sorry for your losses. I hope you found a way to continue being strong
I am so sorry
I’m sorry for your losses
sorry for your lost.
Sorry for you....
thank you so much Amy. You made me cry. I lost my mom too & uncle in such a short period of times half a year ago. It's such an eye opener. I feel empowered.