“Sometimes I need people to not let me push them away.” We all need to hear these words. Whether we are friends, or parents or siblings or teachers, etc., so many people push people away (for various reasons) even though that is 100% not what they actually want.
i relate to this hardcore A lifetime of experience, actually... i'd probably be a very different person if i was afforded this by my parents or family. I will try to remember that when i have children, if i have children :)
The part about feeling nostalgic during happy moments.... THAT hit me hard because I do this so much. I relate to so much of her story.... Wow.... Just, wow.
Yes, that resonated with me as well. Hearing her say that, and other observations, helped to validate what I have been experiencing for much of my life.
Yep. I get what she's saying, even when I understand that it's hard to put into words. That nostalgic, longing, bittersweet melancholic feeling that you get when you experiencing a happy moment is something I feel frequently, because I know how fleeting the happiness is. It's hard not to think about how fleeting it is when you don't get to experience that happiness very often in any genuine sense.
"Fawning" is such a difficult symptom to deal with. In my experience people who don't understand will use it to victim blame--to wonder why someone "puts up" with behavior, or why they didn't turn someone in or tell them off. When you experience trauma as a young child, you are completely dependent and you just don't have control over your life, so fighting doesn't do much good, whereas people pleasing can be a means of survival. I've had people say "why didn't she report X Y Z or tell anyone what was going on" when older people in my life were abusive, even though I was a child, and how do you explain that to someone? I was dependent on the various adults around me, and I coped by people pleasing.
Same. You feel like you can’t tell people what you are struggling with, or your situation, because they eventually start asking questions like “if it’s so bad, why don’t you leave” So you stop telling people. It keeps you from making any kind of meaningful connections to others or friendships, because you have to hide what you feel or are dealing with
I just want this girl to know she isn't alone. I relate to every word she said and thought it was really brave to explain and express all these things that so many of us don't have words for. Thank you. I'm walking this road too. You're not alone.
Receiving an accurate diagnosis can be a double edged sword. You research it, you learn about it, you study it. And in the process, you are learning about yourself. The problem is, this process can lead to acknowledging this illness as being a new major part of your identity. And that can backfire by setting it in concrete rather than walking a path toward recovery. Because it feels like you’re walking away from your identity. A part of you that you just learned about,… And you are being asked to give it up.
Very well said Jamie. I recently received a double diagnosis at 31 after having a reasonably successful working life and now i struggle to go to the shops. Having already been that person for so long it's hard to change to make things better for youself.
Yeah man for real! Not that ignorance is bliss but struggling and then realising looking back how ingrained it is and then looking forward can be harrowing..great comment
This is exactly where I'm at with my handling of it. I honestly felt like I had to end a few relationships because I didn't like how my past self treated them due to the truama. I now feel like I have to teach myself new words or the real definitions of words because I felt like the way I used them before was manipulative. So I completely agree with this comment.
I've been crying through this whole video because I can feel the pain in Lunas voice and I recognize how hard it is to maintain relationships with people. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD and i experience Depersonalization from time to time. It is so hard to explain what it feels like but imagine living in a very vivid dream and seeing yourself from the outside. You are so strong Luna. Thank you for sharing your story.
For me, dissociation is like being on autopilot. I had it alot in school and just relied on my muscle memory to get my from class to class. I often went to the wrong class or lunch and not even notice for a minute or two.
I have drove to places and then got a ride home or walked home forgetting that I drove there. Then I would have to walk back to my car. I would not let my family know because I would be criticized. I have experienced being “spaced out” a lot.
I have CPTSD, Autism, anxiety and depression. My two dogs are literally my life line. My ESD Diesel changed my life and gave me control over my overstimulation
I’ve been in counseling since 1997 for CPTSD , major depression recurrent and anxiety. I really don’t know anyone who has similar diagnosis. It was very good to hear you put things into words that I have felt.
I just wanted to thank her for sharing her story. I'm not even half way through and im sobbing. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd almost a year ago. She is completely validating my feelings down to a T. The part about "fawning" set a light bulb off in my head. Thank you with all my heart.
Wow. What an intelligent, beautiful woman. I relate to every word she spoke. Derealization is so so hard to describe. Luna you have done such an incredible job of putting words to this confusing, painful experience. You are so well-spoken and just radiant. I hope you have found since this interview that you are in no way alone. It’s very lonely but you are not alone. There are many, many people who see the world through this lens. Thank you for sharing your story and for being a role model for others who are struggling. I took some helpful tips from you and you’ve given me some strength today to keep going.
Only 4 mintues in and already crying because everything you’re saying resonates so strongly. I’ve recently been diagnosed and it’s been affecting everything. Ability to keep jobs, go outside, do simple tasks. It’s so alienating but I’m grateful for finding this video. There’s so many words to describe what we’re all experiencing but you put it beautifully
😭😭😭 I can relate so much. The worst is when loved ones don't understand. When you have CPTSD and/or ADHD and/or Depression/Anxiety etc, they see your struggle to do "the things" to pretend to be "neurotypical" or any failure in your performance as laziness... or carelessness... when it couldn't be more far from the truth. I wish people could understand. It is incredibly isolating. I'm grateful that Jesus doesn't see me the way they do. His Love, and my children are the only things on this earth that carry me through.
Hugs, I relate too. I wonder if there is an online support group or something. Maybe we should start something? I tried to send you a message but not sure youtube offers that, so I followed your channel.
As I read your comment I started wondering if i had written it & forgot.....all that to say I relate and even though i dont know you, knowing you get it gives me such a sense of relief. Too many important people in my life believe im making excuses.....sometimes I start wondering if I am.
@@Amber4 im in a sever called alivebecausehedied but its with younger people but there is another called The lighthouse that i reach out to for you❤️(if you would like ofc)
Thank you. I’m 72 and just now hearing about C-PTSD. I have anxiety and depression too but always thought it was because I’m not trying hard enough. This explains so much why I am the way that I am. I’ve tried to talk to family about it and they just brush my feelings aside. I find myself retreating from ‘everyone’ and I mean everyone. I feel no one cares. I feel so alone. Listening to you is so helpful. Thank you for being brave enough to discuss. You are not alone.
I relate- I had derealization occasionally all my life and just now learned it’s a thing. I thought it was just me and ignored it. Thanks for the video- wow- I learned something new about myself! You’re not alone!
I came down to say the same thing! As for helping with CPTSD symptoms, as mentioned in the video, grounding techniques have helped me so so much. You should check them out and/or talk to your psychiatrist/therapist about them if you haven’t tried it!
I’m really glad that her dogs are able to help her become present. That they can bring her back to reality, and stay close to her whenever she feels like she is trapped inside of herself. I remember experiencing those feelings of derealization and depersonalization when I was at the height of my depression. They were horrible. I’m glad that she has a good therapist who can help her come up with good coping mechanisms.
She is intensely intelligent and sometimes I think that is a big factor in the life of someone with mental health issues. The constant thoughts trickling out of control, even the actions to take to get to those thoughts can be detrimental in the end.
The last part of your sentence doesn't make sense. The actions it took to get to those thoughts? Thoughts don't need actions..they are just thoughts...and can happen without action...it is the actions that can come from those thoughts that can be detrimental
@@nicolenunes3739 I'm really confused right now but I think may the actions taken, steps needed to try to reach a different feeling in a certain moment?
Virtual hugs for Luna. She seems like a sweet soul. So sorry she had so much trauma. I hope she knows her life is valuable and she is worthy. I hope she feels better and better each day.
I’m so happy comments are back.. I’ve been wanting to comment on this video for some time now.. I really feel for Luna and anyone else that’s going through this. DPDR is something that I know very well. I want to assure others that they are NOT alone. I’m really proud of all who are still pushing on through this and continuing to live, even when you don’t feel “alive”. I appreciate you. 😊
Thank you, Luna, for perfectly expressing how I feel on a daily basis. Your eloquent explanations are exactly how I've needed to capture what I feel in words. I feel seen. So happy I found this video. Your being willing to get your message out there has had a huge impact on me. Thank you.
I wanted to ask SBSK if they have something on this topic but this video poped up. So depersonalisation or derealisation is something I started feeling too after a series of depression episodes in my life. Last time it got worse and got caused by a drug use. So I'm now stuck in this state of being "high" all the time and perceiving reality differently. Once a week I go to therapist and I'm taking antidepresant, antipsychotic and some medicine for relaxing my nerves. I'm from Serbia and saying hello to everybody and I'm liking this channel more and more.
I've never wanted to reach out and give someone a hug more than I did watching this and hearing about her experience and what she had to go through. You're a beautiful sensitive human being, you have all my love and support
"Like maybe my brain is trying to give me a break from feeling so intensely".... yes that's EXACTLY it!! Worded so well. I related to a lot in this video, maybe more than any others on this channel. My childhood caregiver was the opposite though, the harassment would only cease if I would give in to their baiting and fight back. So that primed me to always be defensive and ready to fight, which is not good either. But yeah, the depression, the dissociative states.....pushing people away, only feeling like a burden, wanting to connect yet afraid to. One thing that I'll say as far as perspective. While there's truth to the fact that the good times are fleeting, in reality the bad times are fleeting, too. All things are fleeting. So just because one good thing goes, doesn't mean there'll never be another. And if a bad time feels endless, it'll pass too. Won't be the last time, but, lol. It's not like only the good times are fleeting, the bad times are too. And they both come and go. Anyway, hang in there, I relate to so much of that. Including having the pets that ground me and keep me going because they rely on me (and it's not their fault if I'm depressed, they still need to be fed/cared for) so it keeps me going.
Hello ❤️ just here to say that I admire her a lot, I deal with C- PTSD and similar symptoms as disrealization and depersonalization, and Dissociative amnesia, seeing people like her gives me motivation to keep it up ! Thanks for this kind of videos, sometimes when you have a mental illness ( specially if you don't have an specialized therapist) we feel really misunderstood and lost, but now I know that I am not alone anymore. ( Sorry for my bad English ) ❤️
@@ayeshaameermaliha yes! but sometimes I got triggered for something ( when something reminds me of the traumatic experience, in my case my trauma is related to men ), sometimes I get frustrated, but I'm doing my best...
So I knew I had CPTSD but just learning that dissociation comes with it and it’s such a relief to define the rest of that! I never knew! My psychiatrist and therapists never explained it to me. Thank you for sharing. Glad you have pets and a friend.
I have depression, anxiety, adhd and ptsd. I really connect with most of what she explains. She is so lucky to have that person as a friend. I really need that closeness and love. It is super difficult living with these mental illnesses. Take care all 🤗
I am so glad the comments are back! For the longest time I've wanted to thank SBSK for this video and thank Luna for bringing awareness to these topics. This video has truly saved me, more than once. I am so appreciative of the work you do and the people who courageously share these details about their life Thank you
That hits very close to home. You are very brave person to speak so honestly about what you are going through. Trauma is a devious beast and it is good to see people discussing trauma openly. I wish you all the friendship and acceptance in the world.
When I dissociate I feel like I can't get back into my body, I try to shake my head but it doesn't help me snap out of it anymore. My boyfriend will ask me questions and I just give 1 word answers and I just stare off. He asks what I'm thinking about but I don't know. Nothing and also everything?
Has this caused you to go through worries that you may have parkinsons or a neurological condition? Because I've been experiencing this too and sometimes it feels as if I can't express emotions I'll just stare at a wall and completely zone out, I feel very lethargic and drained? Would you say you feel like that ever? I'm just now seeing a doctor about all this stuff. And only just recently found out about this. And trying to get to the bottom of it.
I've watched this particular video so many times, as I feel I identify with Luna a lot. And every time I watch it, I wish I could give her a hug and let her know she is amazing. I hope she sees all the lovely comments here.
Luna does such a great job of explaining her feelings. I wish she could know (I hope she does) that she’s not alone in her feelings and that she still a likable person. I found her very likable, insightful and a very deep thinker. She really has a lot to give and I hope she finds a niche where she can do that because I sense that would make her very happy and fulfilled. ❤
I was only recently diagnosed with Complex PTSD, I've been experiencing depression and O.C.D. for most of my life but learning about CPTSD, I feel like I'm finally starting to understand more about how I work, why I do certain things. When Luna spoke of "fawning" and explained her reasoning for it something "clicked" for me. I do the same thing as she does. I too worry about being a burden on my spouse and son. I often wonder if their lives would be better if I were not holding them down. To hear Luna express the same feelings helps me to feel a little more "normal". Or at least, not alone in how I'm experiencing things. God bless you Luna, you will be in my prayers.
I am also living withthe same diagnosis. Medication helps and talking is one of the best ways to deal with it. Pets are great. When you talk about the farming i can feel your pain so badly. I hope you are doing better
This lovely lady is so brave. I hope she knows that her sharing her experience really helps people with PTSD and also helps family and friends to understand. Blessings
I love this video so much. For a long time I felt I was alone with how I think, and how I dealt with things. But watching this videos, I kept catching myself finishing her sentences. I strongly believe that people with complex ptsd are highly intelligent people. The way our mind process, tend to think for the greater good at the expense of us. Which I feel like as a child it was easier because we was told our responsibilities but now that we are adults, picking and choosing our responsibilities and relationships, we find it hard to give in fully because we was taught one way and unfortunately it work! I'm at the point now in my healing where I feel like I need to start all the way over. Even thinking about changing my name. This video really help me, and I hope it's does with other that have this problem.
I have CPTSD. It's debilitating and even worse when you seek help and they made me feel worse. Medical personnel screaming at you, being autistic and being told to "get over it" etc. So many in the healthcare system abuse.
Can't express how much this video means to me. I've experienced DPDR for about 18 years now, and it's a constant fight to keep myself grounded. Hope you talk to more people with DPDR.
It almost seems as though Luna is telling my story. I hear you girl, and I'm right in that trench with you. The out of body experiences and everything you experience I also experience. If you ever want to talk reach out to talk let me know. I appreciate your honesty and just know that you telling your story is helping people!
I relate to every word she said and it feels such a relief to me to realize I'm not alone. I've been diagnosed only with depression for 5 years and my progress has been slow. My friend who had PTSD realized I might have C-PTSD and now I've told about it to my psychiatrist and seems like I'm getting the diagnosis finally. I'm a little mad that it took this long for it to happen because none of my caretakers were trauma informed.
She already seems very inteligent and has great communcation skills, all this while she is struggling internally! pretty amazing if you ask me! imagine when she finally, I don't wanna say fixes her promblems, but finds a solution that helps her grow and conqure her issues she will be a force to recon with.
My big thing is asking permission to say no to things. Because I learned I had no choice in certain situations or people didn’t listen when I tried to ask for help.
Other than the physical violence she experienced, I relate to everything else she said; the parts about depression (the black hole/ space), anxiety, C-PTSD, dissociation, derealization/ depersonalization. I know what she's talking about because I've experienced all of those symptoms and feelings, too. I've experienced a lot of traumas from medical/ dental, to almost drowning, to bullying, emotional abuse/ neglect, psychological/ verbal abuse, various losses, chronic illness, etc. I've been through a lot of therapy but I still feel as if progress is very, very slow and I wonder if I'll ever truly heal from all of this.
I was going to comment on this. There is such a raw sincerity to her and I find she almost has this sort of "unintentional charisma". I got more from this one video than I have from the dozens of clinical professional clips.
I'm diagnosed with complex ptsd, complex trauma, depression and anxiety disorders. I so appreciate that you made this video. You gave voice eloquently. I noticed that this interview was in your room. That's where I'm most comfortable, where I am as I write this. I also have agoraphobia. And a small dog. 😏
I’m dealing with many different mental health diagnoses and I’m also in the process of being diagnosed for a multitude of physical/neurological disorders. I’m just getting help @27 years old and rely heavily on these videos to help me navigate through this process. So I’ll forever be eternally grateful for SBSK and the ppl they interview. I NEED THIS. GOD BLESS EVERYONE INVOLVED.❤️❤️🤟💯open to tips or general advice. Thanks 😊
This is so close my my experience. I have a bunch of diagnosis, anxiety, depression, c-ptsd, high functioning asd, and an autoimmune disease with a host of further complications its caused and still the hardest thing to live with is derealisation and dissociation. It took years of therapy and medication and I'm finally in a better place but stressors can still trigger it *hugs*
I believe her… I’m living it… so relate to this, I was answering a lot of the questions the same in my head before she did thanks for the courage to share
Hi Luna. I just wanted to tell you that every word you said, it felt like it was coming from me. You're definitely not alone and thank you for helping remind us of the same!
I as well struggle with cptsd and chronic derealization.. it feels very lonely. So hearing about other that struggle with the same stuff as I do, helps me feel less alone.. thank u
This is one diagnosis i have that I struggle with alot and it hurts so so much. I'm so glad you make videos with people I understand and it helps others learn about us. And they get to learn without skewed info. It's info from actual people with the diagnosis.
You’ve done an excellent job explaining your feelings and how cptsd affects you. I have it too and your explanation could help so many people. I think of myself as “shattered” into a million pieces and most of my energy goes to crawling around trying to pick up pieces and fit them together again. Yes, it’s so hard when people don’t have the patience to stick with you when you’re struggling. That’s probably the biggest question you have about real friends. Will you abandon me when I’m struggling. So many do. I loved how well you expressed yourself and your clear explanations. Thank you, fellow soldier.
I came here after the comments were switched on. I feel like a brat I hope I am not. I get anxious and sad so it is hard. More than anything me cancelling things or not doing anything is a way to protect myself. But I am working on it now.
I feel that weight on my chest every day all day I 32 now and I’ve never opened up about it or my depression or anxiety because I feel like people will think the same oh she just wants attention or someone to feel sorry for her … and in reality that’s the last th8ng I want … that’s exactly why I don’t talk about my issues with anyone …. I can completely relate to her though on so many levels. It’s good she has a good friend to lean on!! I’ve always pushed people away even when I didn’t want them to leave because I don’t wanna put them through anything Or ever hurt them or burden them. If u have good friend they will stay no matter how many times u try to push them away it seems like that’s her friend even when she has tried.
I have been going through derealization/depersonalization for the past 7 months. It is such a struggle, but it is so nice to hear your experiences and hear so many feelings I have felt put into words. You are so strong
I have complex PTSD caused of many years of childhood trauma. I didn't get from this story what her trauma made her get the diagnosis. Anyways, dur my flashbacks and my overwhelming feelings i shut down and feel i'm floating outside my self. It's a way to protect my mind sadly. I have get through trauma therapy that didn't work well so now i will get another kind and hope it will help me to get a better daily life. It's wonderfull that this new diagnosis ''Complex'' the added to it when PTSD isn't enough even it still world wide known. I love to listening to others storys to not feel alone.
She sounds lovely. Makes me realise how many walls and parts I have protecting myself from even being seen like that. But she is me. I’m comforted seeing how I function in someone else. I can never find the right words to explain how I feel and when I do it’s told to the wrong people who don’t get it.
Girl, I feel that I can relate to every single word that you said. You'r not alone! And thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone too and somebody's feeling like me.
As a person with chronic major depressive disorder happiness feels like a trick sometimes. She describes her life situation very articulately. I envy her deep friendship and hope they last forever as such good friends to eachother.
I just saw your video today and appreciate your courage to share. Many of the feelings you shared are relatable and you did a very good job of articulating what it's like to experience the world as you (and many others) do. I hope you are doing well.
Finally diagnosed with complex PTSD this year after 18/19 years of struggling and wondering why I wasn’t getting better. This video spoke to me a lot. It showed me that I’m not alone in what I feel. Thank you.
My dog and cats are my lifeline, most days. After really bad days and/or a lot of stressful and -ridden days, I go into what I call "hibernation". Mentally and physically removing myself from interactions and actions, really. For days or weeks. You aren't alone. It's corny but I always remind myself that "it's temporary". For better or worse. It'll always change and that's the only thing I can rely on. Change.
Luna's very articulate in describing something that's hard to understand unless you've experienced it yourself. Interviewer does his best but in style is quite robotic.
Thank you Luna for sharing your experience and raising awareness 💜 you're such a strong human being. and I love your shirt and chimmy pillow! Sending so much love and support to my fellow ARMY~
She just helped me so much by describing what I'm going through right now inside. It was hard to even believe myself and I struggled with even being "here" and I wanted to be, I wasn't choosing not to be, but it happens daily.
Saving this forever. This really made me feel seen, and I'm always going to send this to people when they ask how to understand this thing I'm struggling with
Thank you so much for sharing this. It helped me alot. I wish you enough of all you may need to thrive moving forward. and I'm so glad that you have your animals and best friend that loves you so very much. You are so worthy of being loved. Take good care dear lady ❤
“Sometimes I need people to not let me push them away.” We all need to hear these words. Whether we are friends, or parents or siblings or teachers, etc., so many people push people away (for various reasons) even though that is 100% not what they actually want.
i relate to this hardcore
A lifetime of experience, actually... i'd probably be a very different person if i was afforded this by my parents or family. I will try to remember that when i have children, if i have children :)
The part about feeling nostalgic during happy moments.... THAT hit me hard because I do this so much. I relate to so much of her story.... Wow.... Just, wow.
Yes, that resonated with me as well. Hearing her say that, and other observations, helped to validate what I have been experiencing for much of my life.
Yep. I get what she's saying, even when I understand that it's hard to put into words. That nostalgic, longing, bittersweet melancholic feeling that you get when you experiencing a happy moment is something I feel frequently, because I know how fleeting the happiness is. It's hard not to think about how fleeting it is when you don't get to experience that happiness very often in any genuine sense.
my therapyst just told me i have cptsd and i'm discovering people with my SAME experiences... that is awesome
@@edward5247 Same here!
That’s tragic. Must suck that even in happiness you can’t truly enjoy it
"Fawning" is such a difficult symptom to deal with. In my experience people who don't understand will use it to victim blame--to wonder why someone "puts up" with behavior, or why they didn't turn someone in or tell them off. When you experience trauma as a young child, you are completely dependent and you just don't have control over your life, so fighting doesn't do much good, whereas people pleasing can be a means of survival.
I've had people say "why didn't she report X Y Z or tell anyone what was going on" when older people in my life were abusive, even though I was a child, and how do you explain that to someone? I was dependent on the various adults around me, and I coped by people pleasing.
same
Same. You feel like you can’t tell people what you are struggling with, or your situation, because they eventually start asking questions like “if it’s so bad, why don’t you leave” So you stop telling people. It keeps you from making any kind of meaningful connections to others or friendships, because you have to hide what you feel or are dealing with
Yeah this resonated with me......
I also fawned all my life and it ruined my life. :(
Yes and also real empathy is not fawning nor manipulative and trauma can cause increased empathy too.
I just want this girl to know she isn't alone. I relate to every word she said and thought it was really brave to explain and express all these things that so many of us don't have words for. Thank you. I'm walking this road too. You're not alone.
Receiving an accurate diagnosis can be a double edged sword. You research it, you learn about it, you study it. And in the process, you are learning about yourself. The problem is, this process can lead to acknowledging this illness as being a new major part of your identity. And that can backfire by setting it in concrete rather than walking a path toward recovery. Because it feels like you’re walking away from your identity. A part of you that you just learned about,… And you are being asked to give it up.
Very well said Jamie. I recently received a double diagnosis at 31 after having a reasonably successful working life and now i struggle to go to the shops. Having already been that person for so long it's hard to change to make things better for youself.
Oh wow. You’re describing me and my diagnosis with BPD perfectly.
Yeah man for real! Not that ignorance is bliss but struggling and then realising looking back how ingrained it is and then looking forward can be harrowing..great comment
This is exactly where I'm at with my handling of it. I honestly felt like I had to end a few relationships because I didn't like how my past self treated them due to the truama. I now feel like I have to teach myself new words or the real definitions of words because I felt like the way I used them before was manipulative. So I completely agree with this comment.
You just said something so smart!
I've been crying through this whole video because I can feel the pain in Lunas voice and I recognize how hard it is to maintain relationships with people.
I've been diagnosed with CPTSD and i experience Depersonalization from time to time. It is so hard to explain what it feels like but imagine living in a very vivid dream and seeing yourself from the outside.
You are so strong Luna. Thank you for sharing your story.
Omg when she talks about that “space” that no person or thing can fill, I totally felt that. The world just feels… empty
Invite Jesus into this space and you will experience His presence right there ❤
@@hannagrace55 Platitudes like this have no place here.
@@quietone748 Jesus Christ is welcome everywhere. Jesus is the answer for every problem and he loves us all more than we will ever know.
For me, dissociation is like being on autopilot. I had it alot in school and just relied on my muscle memory to get my from class to class. I often went to the wrong class or lunch and not even notice for a minute or two.
same and zoning out extremely easily
I have drove to places and then got a ride home or walked home forgetting that I drove there. Then I would have to walk back to my car. I would not let my family know because I would be criticized. I have experienced being “spaced out” a lot.
same
I have been experiencing dissociation a lot lately. I feel like I am floating above myself and watching myself go through life.
I think this is what I'm going through.
i have been diagnosed with psychosis and that is the exact feeling i have. i call it “floating” like i’m not there but going through the motions
I have CPTSD, Autism, anxiety and depression. My two dogs are literally my life line. My ESD Diesel changed my life and gave me control over my overstimulation
I’ve been in counseling since 1997 for CPTSD , major depression recurrent and anxiety.
I really don’t know anyone who has similar diagnosis. It was very good to hear you put things into words that I have felt.
I just wanted to thank her for sharing her story. I'm not even half way through and im sobbing. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd almost a year ago. She is completely validating my feelings down to a T. The part about "fawning" set a light bulb off in my head. Thank you with all my heart.
Wow. What an intelligent, beautiful woman. I relate to every word she spoke. Derealization is so so hard to describe. Luna you have done such an incredible job of putting words to this confusing, painful experience. You are so well-spoken and just radiant. I hope you have found since this interview that you are in no way alone. It’s very lonely but you are not alone. There are many, many people who see the world through this lens. Thank you for sharing your story and for being a role model for others who are struggling. I took some helpful tips from you and you’ve given me some strength today to keep going.
You may not believe this bit you're beautiful
Only 4 mintues in and already crying because everything you’re saying resonates so strongly. I’ve recently been diagnosed and it’s been affecting everything. Ability to keep jobs, go outside, do simple tasks. It’s so alienating but I’m grateful for finding this video. There’s so many words to describe what we’re all experiencing but you put it beautifully
😭😭😭 I can relate so much. The worst is when loved ones don't understand. When you have CPTSD and/or ADHD and/or Depression/Anxiety etc, they see your struggle to do "the things" to pretend to be "neurotypical" or any failure in your performance as laziness... or carelessness... when it couldn't be more far from the truth. I wish people could understand. It is incredibly isolating. I'm grateful that Jesus doesn't see me the way they do. His Love, and my children are the only things on this earth that carry me through.
Hugs, I relate too. I wonder if there is an online support group or something. Maybe we should start something? I tried to send you a message but not sure youtube offers that, so I followed your channel.
As I read your comment I started wondering if i had written it & forgot.....all that to say I relate and even though i dont know you, knowing you get it gives me such a sense of relief. Too many important people in my life believe im making excuses.....sometimes I start wondering if I am.
@@Amber4 there are Christian support groups i have heard if my sister if you would like to know about them❤️
@@Amber4 ik it sounds funny but there is some on discord and ive heard some on Facebook
@@Amber4 im in a sever called alivebecausehedied but its with younger people but there is another called The lighthouse that i reach out to for you❤️(if you would like ofc)
Thank you. I’m 72 and just now hearing about C-PTSD. I have anxiety and depression too but always thought it was because I’m not trying hard enough. This explains so much why I am the way that I am. I’ve tried to talk to family about it and they just brush my feelings aside. I find myself retreating from ‘everyone’ and I mean everyone. I feel no one cares. I feel so alone. Listening to you is so helpful. Thank you for being brave enough to discuss. You are not alone.
I've watched lots of sbsk videos and this is the one I identified the most. Such a touching story. Thank you Luna
I relate- I had derealization occasionally all my life and just now learned it’s a thing. I thought it was just me and ignored it. Thanks for the video- wow- I learned something new about myself! You’re not alone!
I came down to say the same thing! As for helping with CPTSD symptoms, as mentioned in the video, grounding techniques have helped me so so much. You should check them out and/or talk to your psychiatrist/therapist about them if you haven’t tried it!
Same
Same. I like how she said she found out her illness has a name. This explains a lot for me.
Yep. Same here. I have someone like Luna does who has changed my life. But I understand so much of this
I’m really glad that her dogs are able to help her become present. That they can bring her back to reality, and stay close to her whenever she feels like she is trapped inside of herself. I remember experiencing those feelings of derealization and depersonalization when I was at the height of my depression. They were horrible. I’m glad that she has a good therapist who can help her come up with good coping mechanisms.
My dog is my lifeline.
my cat helps keep me present too :-) animals are truly a blessing
I can hear in her voice the need to be heard. She chose her words thoughtfully and made great points.
She is intensely intelligent and sometimes I think that is a big factor in the life of someone with mental health issues. The constant thoughts trickling out of control, even the actions to take to get to those thoughts can be detrimental in the end.
The last part of your sentence doesn't make sense. The actions it took to get to those thoughts? Thoughts don't need actions..they are just thoughts...and can happen without action...it is the actions that can come from those thoughts that can be detrimental
Me, too, how can we all be friends?
@@nicolenunes3739 I'm really confused right now but I think may the actions taken, steps needed to try to reach a different feeling in a certain moment?
Virtual hugs for Luna. She seems like a sweet soul. So sorry she had so much trauma. I hope she knows her life is valuable and she is worthy. I hope she feels better and better each day.
I’m so happy comments are back.. I’ve been wanting to comment on this video for some time now.. I really feel for Luna and anyone else that’s going through this. DPDR is something that I know very well. I want to assure others that they are NOT alone. I’m really proud of all who are still pushing on through this and continuing to live, even when you don’t feel “alive”. I appreciate you. 😊
Thank you, Luna, for perfectly expressing how I feel on a daily basis. Your eloquent explanations are exactly how I've needed to capture what I feel in words. I feel seen. So happy I found this video. Your being willing to get your message out there has had a huge impact on me. Thank you.
Very glad to know that other ppl are out there with cptsd also trying to live the lives they deserve - always reassuring. ❤️❤️❤️
I wanted to ask SBSK if they have something on this topic but this video poped up. So depersonalisation or derealisation is something I started feeling too after a series of depression episodes in my life. Last time it got worse and got caused by a drug use. So I'm now stuck in this state of being "high" all the time and perceiving reality differently. Once a week I go to therapist and I'm taking antidepresant, antipsychotic and some medicine for relaxing my nerves. I'm from Serbia and saying hello to everybody and I'm liking this channel more and more.
I've never wanted to reach out and give someone a hug more than I did watching this and hearing about her experience and what she had to go through. You're a beautiful sensitive human being, you have all my love and support
I have never heard such an exact description of what CPTSD does to us. Thank you, Luna! I hope you are doing well
"Like maybe my brain is trying to give me a break from feeling so intensely".... yes that's EXACTLY it!! Worded so well. I related to a lot in this video, maybe more than any others on this channel. My childhood caregiver was the opposite though, the harassment would only cease if I would give in to their baiting and fight back. So that primed me to always be defensive and ready to fight, which is not good either. But yeah, the depression, the dissociative states.....pushing people away, only feeling like a burden, wanting to connect yet afraid to. One thing that I'll say as far as perspective. While there's truth to the fact that the good times are fleeting, in reality the bad times are fleeting, too. All things are fleeting. So just because one good thing goes, doesn't mean there'll never be another. And if a bad time feels endless, it'll pass too. Won't be the last time, but, lol. It's not like only the good times are fleeting, the bad times are too. And they both come and go. Anyway, hang in there, I relate to so much of that. Including having the pets that ground me and keep me going because they rely on me (and it's not their fault if I'm depressed, they still need to be fed/cared for) so it keeps me going.
Hello ❤️ just here to say that I admire her a lot, I deal with C- PTSD and similar symptoms as disrealization and depersonalization, and Dissociative amnesia, seeing people like her gives me motivation to keep it up !
Thanks for this kind of videos, sometimes when you have a mental illness ( specially if you don't have an specialized therapist) we feel really misunderstood and lost, but now I know that I am not alone anymore.
( Sorry for my bad English ) ❤️
Your English is perfectly fine! Nothing bad about it!
Could you continue your studies?:(
@@ayeshaameermaliha
yes! but sometimes I got triggered for something ( when something reminds me of the traumatic experience, in my case my trauma is related to men ), sometimes I get frustrated, but I'm doing my best...
So I knew I had CPTSD but just learning that dissociation comes with it and it’s such a relief to define the rest of that! I never knew! My psychiatrist and therapists never explained it to me. Thank you for sharing. Glad you have pets and a friend.
I have depression, anxiety, adhd and ptsd. I really connect with most of what she explains. She is so lucky to have that person as a friend. I really need that closeness and love. It is super difficult living with these mental illnesses. Take care all 🤗
i m likeyou but i have autism too
I am so glad the comments are back! For the longest time I've wanted to thank SBSK for this video and thank Luna for bringing awareness to these topics. This video has truly saved me, more than once. I am so appreciative of the work you do and the people who courageously share these details about their life
Thank you
This is so relatable. You just hope every day you’ll wake up and the episode will be over. Thank you for talking about this, Luna.
That hits very close to home. You are very brave person to speak so honestly about what you are going through. Trauma is a devious beast and it is good to see people discussing trauma openly. I wish you all the friendship and acceptance in the world.
When I dissociate I feel like I can't get back into my body, I try to shake my head but it doesn't help me snap out of it anymore. My boyfriend will ask me questions and I just give 1 word answers and I just stare off. He asks what I'm thinking about but I don't know. Nothing and also everything?
Same here, I have cptsd and I just can’t get out of it
Has this caused you to go through worries that you may have parkinsons or a neurological condition? Because I've been experiencing this too and sometimes it feels as if I can't express emotions I'll just stare at a wall and completely zone out, I feel very lethargic and drained? Would you say you feel like that ever? I'm just now seeing a doctor about all this stuff. And only just recently found out about this. And trying to get to the bottom of it.
like your brain feels so full but also so completely empty at the same time
@@yolopokecarp4408 yes!
@@yolopokecarp4408 yes! So perfectly described
I've watched this particular video so many times, as I feel I identify with Luna a lot. And every time I watch it, I wish I could give her a hug and let her know she is amazing. I hope she sees all the lovely comments here.
Luna does such a great job of explaining her feelings. I wish she could know (I hope she does) that she’s not alone in her feelings and that she still a likable person. I found her very likable, insightful and a very deep thinker. She really has a lot to give and I hope she finds a niche where she can do that because I sense that would make her very happy and fulfilled. ❤
I was only recently diagnosed with Complex PTSD, I've been experiencing depression and O.C.D. for most of my life but learning about CPTSD, I feel like I'm finally starting to understand more about how I work, why I do certain things. When Luna spoke of "fawning" and explained her reasoning for it something "clicked" for me. I do the same thing as she does. I too worry about being a burden on my spouse and son. I often wonder if their lives would be better if I were not holding them down. To hear Luna express the same feelings helps me to feel a little more "normal". Or at least, not alone in how I'm experiencing things. God bless you Luna, you will be in my prayers.
I am also living withthe same diagnosis. Medication helps and talking is one of the best ways to deal with it. Pets are great. When you talk about the farming i can feel your pain so badly. I hope you are doing better
This lovely lady is so brave. I hope she knows that her sharing her experience really helps people with PTSD and also helps family and friends to understand. Blessings
I can't tell you how much this interview means to me. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
I love this video so much. For a long time I felt I was alone with how I think, and how I dealt with things. But watching this videos, I kept catching myself finishing her sentences. I strongly believe that people with complex ptsd are highly intelligent people. The way our mind process, tend to think for the greater good at the expense of us. Which I feel like as a child it was easier because we was told our responsibilities but now that we are adults, picking and choosing our responsibilities and relationships, we find it hard to give in fully because we was taught one way and unfortunately it work! I'm at the point now in my healing where I feel like I need to start all the way over. Even thinking about changing my name. This video really help me, and I hope it's does with other that have this problem.
I have CPTSD. It's debilitating and even worse when you seek help and they made me feel worse. Medical personnel screaming at you, being autistic and being told to "get over it" etc. So many in the healthcare system abuse.
This was very helpful for me. Thank you for putting yourself out there and doing this interview! We are not alone!
Thank you Luna for being so vulnerable and sharing your challenges with us
Luna, thank you for being so brave and vulnerable. I can't tell you how much I appreciated this.
Can't express how much this video means to me. I've experienced DPDR for about 18 years now, and it's a constant fight to keep myself grounded. Hope you talk to more people with DPDR.
It almost seems as though Luna is telling my story. I hear you girl, and I'm right in that trench with you. The out of body experiences and everything you experience I also experience. If you ever want to talk reach out to talk let me know. I appreciate your honesty and just know that you telling your story is helping people!
Many thanks to Luna for sharing her story.
Luna, you are so beautifully articulate. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I relate to every word she said and it feels such a relief to me to realize I'm not alone. I've been diagnosed only with depression for 5 years and my progress has been slow. My friend who had PTSD realized I might have C-PTSD and now I've told about it to my psychiatrist and seems like I'm getting the diagnosis finally. I'm a little mad that it took this long for it to happen because none of my caretakers were trauma informed.
I relate to your story so much, Luna. Please know you are absolutely NOT alone 💕💕
She is wonderful ❤
I've been told so many times I'm being dramatic with my feelings.. some people just do not understand that low feeling.. 😕
She already seems very inteligent and has great communcation skills, all this while she is struggling internally! pretty amazing if you ask me! imagine when she finally, I don't wanna say fixes her promblems, but finds a solution that helps her grow and conqure her issues she will be a force to recon with.
Wow. She just put into words what I've never been able to say. Thank you Luna ❤️
My big thing is asking permission to say no to things. Because I learned I had no choice in certain situations or people didn’t listen when I tried to ask for help.
Other than the physical violence she experienced, I relate to everything else she said; the parts about depression (the black hole/ space), anxiety, C-PTSD, dissociation, derealization/ depersonalization. I know what she's talking about because I've experienced all of those symptoms and feelings, too. I've experienced a lot of traumas from medical/ dental, to almost drowning, to bullying, emotional abuse/ neglect, psychological/ verbal abuse, various losses, chronic illness, etc. I've been through a lot of therapy but I still feel as if progress is very, very slow and I wonder if I'll ever truly heal from all of this.
Hi Luna! My wife and I are both ARMY with CTPSD (among many other physical and mental health challenges). I like your Chimmy pillow. :D
This is really inspiring and she’s so strong. I’m obsessed with the way she talks with her hands.
I was going to comment on this. There is such a raw sincerity to her and I find she almost has this sort of "unintentional charisma". I got more from this one video than I have from the dozens of clinical professional clips.
I’m glad I watched this. I have a close friend with c ptsd. But she barely ever talks about it. This helps me to understand
Wow- so many people feel how Luna does. I hope she knows she is not alone.
Thankyou for putting cptsd in the spotlight..i teared up hard relating..we are the most damaged and yet beautiful people alive imho
I'm diagnosed with complex ptsd, complex trauma, depression and anxiety disorders. I so appreciate that you made this video. You gave voice eloquently. I noticed that this interview was in your room. That's where I'm most comfortable, where I am as I write this. I also have agoraphobia. And a small dog. 😏
I’m dealing with many different mental health diagnoses and I’m also in the process of being diagnosed for a multitude of physical/neurological disorders.
I’m just getting help @27 years old and rely heavily on these videos to help me navigate through this process. So I’ll forever be eternally grateful for SBSK and the ppl they interview. I NEED THIS. GOD BLESS EVERYONE INVOLVED.❤️❤️🤟💯open to tips or general advice. Thanks 😊
This is so close my my experience.
I have a bunch of diagnosis, anxiety, depression, c-ptsd, high functioning asd, and an autoimmune disease with a host of further complications its caused and still the hardest thing to live with is derealisation and dissociation.
It took years of therapy and medication and I'm finally in a better place but stressors can still trigger it *hugs*
What are your autistic traits?
I believe her… I’m living it… so relate to this, I was answering a lot of the questions the same in my head before she did thanks for the courage to share
Hi Luna. I just wanted to tell you that every word you said, it felt like it was coming from me. You're definitely not alone and thank you for helping remind us of the same!
I as well struggle with cptsd and chronic derealization.. it feels very lonely. So hearing about other that struggle with the same stuff as I do, helps me feel less alone.. thank u
Someone I love very much has these same diagnoses. Spravato treatments have helped them so much. Praying for you, Luna ❤️
This video makes me feel so validated. She is explaining so much of what I also experience.
Thank you for sharing your story Luna. Your dogs are adorable and you are so strong. There's never any shame in needing help.
This is one diagnosis i have that I struggle with alot and it hurts so so much. I'm so glad you make videos with people I understand and it helps others learn about us. And they get to learn without skewed info. It's info from actual people with the diagnosis.
You’ve done an excellent job explaining your feelings and how cptsd affects you. I have it too and your explanation could help so many people. I think of myself as “shattered” into a million pieces and most of my energy goes to crawling around trying to pick up pieces and fit them together again. Yes, it’s so hard when people don’t have the patience to stick with you when you’re struggling. That’s probably the biggest question you have about real friends. Will you abandon me when I’m struggling. So many do. I loved how well you expressed yourself and your clear explanations. Thank you, fellow soldier.
I came here after the comments were switched on. I feel like a brat I hope I am not. I get anxious and sad so it is hard. More than anything me cancelling things or not doing anything is a way to protect myself.
But I am working on it now.
I am so glad there is a video about my diagnose!
I feel that weight on my chest every day all day I 32 now and I’ve never opened up about it or my depression or anxiety because I feel like people will think the same oh she just wants attention or someone to feel sorry for her … and in reality that’s the last th8ng I want … that’s exactly why I don’t talk about my issues with anyone …. I can completely relate to her though on so many levels. It’s good she has a good friend to lean on!! I’ve always pushed people away even when I didn’t want them to leave because I don’t wanna put them through anything Or ever hurt them or burden them. If u have good friend they will stay no matter how many times u try to push them away it seems like that’s her friend even when she has tried.
I have been going through derealization/depersonalization for the past 7 months. It is such a struggle, but it is so nice to hear your experiences and hear so many feelings I have felt put into words. You are so strong
I have complex PTSD caused of many years of childhood trauma. I didn't get from this story what her trauma made her get the diagnosis. Anyways, dur my flashbacks and my overwhelming feelings i shut down and feel i'm floating outside my self. It's a way to protect my mind sadly. I have get through trauma therapy that didn't work well so now i will get another kind and hope it will help me to get a better daily life. It's wonderfull that this new diagnosis ''Complex'' the added to it when PTSD isn't enough even it still world wide known. I love to listening to others storys to not feel alone.
She sounds lovely. Makes me realise how many walls and parts I have protecting myself from even being seen like that. But she is me. I’m comforted seeing how I function in someone else. I can never find the right words to explain how I feel and when I do it’s told to the wrong people who don’t get it.
Girl, I feel that I can relate to every single word that you said. You'r not alone! And thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone too and somebody's feeling like me.
Thank you for sharing. Wishing you all the best. You are not alone.
Thank you Luna, for making me better understand a person who is very dear to me. I think you are a wonderful person.
As a person with chronic major depressive disorder happiness feels like a trick sometimes. She describes her life situation very articulately. I envy her deep friendship and hope they last forever as such good friends to eachother.
she is speaking objective truth extremely accurate.
so shocking to see.
I just saw your video today and appreciate your courage to share. Many of the feelings you shared are relatable and you did a very good job of articulating what it's like to experience the world as you (and many others) do. I hope you are doing well.
Finally diagnosed with complex PTSD this year after 18/19 years of struggling and wondering why I wasn’t getting better.
This video spoke to me a lot. It showed me that I’m not alone in what I feel. Thank you.
She was so educated about this and so articulate.
described depression so well, amazing
My dog and cats are my lifeline, most days. After really bad days and/or a lot of stressful and -ridden days, I go into what I call "hibernation". Mentally and physically removing myself from interactions and actions, really. For days or weeks. You aren't alone. It's corny but I always remind myself that "it's temporary". For better or worse. It'll always change and that's the only thing I can rely on. Change.
Thank you, i love her. Im so thankful for everything she said. 💜😑
Luna's very articulate in describing something that's hard to understand unless you've experienced it yourself. Interviewer does his best but in style is quite robotic.
Great interview! Great questions and great answers. Yes this is what living with this affliction is like.
Thank you Luna for sharing your experience and raising awareness 💜 you're such a strong human being.
and I love your shirt and chimmy pillow! Sending so much love and support to my fellow ARMY~
Hi everyone: It's so nice to see you all again on RUclips. I want to meet you all one day. Take care and stay safe.
She just helped me so much by describing what I'm going through right now inside. It was hard to even believe myself and I struggled with even being "here" and I wanted to be, I wasn't choosing not to be, but it happens daily.
U are so brave to talk about your struggles. I am with her because I am her.
I live with this every single day. It can feel like every aspect of life is bizarre and unable to experience life.
Saving this forever. This really made me feel seen, and I'm always going to send this to people when they ask how to understand this thing I'm struggling with
What a wonderful woman you are! Thank you for sharing your story, it's so helpful that you've put some of my reality my feelings into words xx
Thank you so much for sharing this. It helped me alot.
I wish you enough of all you may need to thrive moving forward. and I'm so glad that you have your animals and best friend that loves you so very much. You are so worthy of being loved. Take good care dear lady ❤