That exact part hit me and I said “this is EXACTLY why he’s the chauvinist that he is.” SMDH men like Cam always twist up the intention of their elders advice. OR they take the terrible advice and run with it. Cam has likely watched his father put his mother through HELL and she just continually stuck around and through it. She probably SHOULD HAVE left but that was a different time era. Women couldn’t just leave. They were very much dependent on men for financial support. Cam now believes if a woman isn’t willing to put up with any and everything he puts out, she isn’t worthy and doesn’t truly love him. Smdh he’s a lost cause
THIS. B/c it's very possible that Mama Cam doesn't have the language to express what she conveyed in creating a home and family for him. 'My dad is the only man she knew'. Cam! I'm sure she has feelings and lessons outside of your father and her parents. And your wandering eye sure as hell didn't learn how to commit to a spouse.
@XsweetstarliteX only 1% of black women have nick cannon money.. if he was only looking for women who could keep up with him financially he would be very single... we dont care about your money.. even guys at my level who make 250k.. and up.. we dont care what you make.
He said; "My dad is the only man my mom knows..." I had questions: 1. Is your mom the only woman your dad knows? 2. Is your mom the only woman your dad (Pastor Newton) knows "intimately" DURING their long-lasting marriage? 3. Why would a 1st lady/pastor's wife want to go to hell for anyone or any sense of the term?
God would never ask us to go to hell for Him, darn it, he sent Jesus to earth so we don't have to go to hell. So why would he want us to go through hell for men?
Cam seems to be a man who constantly test his partners to see how much they can take because to him that is love. Also, he believes the women he gets is only with him because of his money so now he will punish you.
I think he’s punishing women for being weak because he saw his mom let his dad drag her through the mud. She never stood up for herself in her marriage and that traumatized him.
@@evaphillips2102 but then he turns around and gaslights and acts as if he thinks that’s the ultimate show of love when he really resents her for it. He’s not ok. He’s very twisted.
This is why I place such a HEAVY emphasis on community and people think/call me crazy. We place too much emphasis on romantic relationships. It's not NORMAL nor healthy for your partner to be your everything, your end all be all that's not fair to do to anybody. People should really do the work to have a healthy community and support BEFORE they go look for relationships because by the time they're looking for a partner, their cup is so filled the last thing you'll do is settle for less than because you don't need them in your life, you WANT them in your life. [big difference]
@@alliec.6543 I learned the phrase “The Nuclear Family is cancer.” It’s not supposed to be mom dad and two point five kids alone against the world, we’re supposed to have grandparents and friends and aunts and uncles we can depend on.
@evaphillips2102 that's what cam has.. a village. He kids of his own.. and he has adopted children.. and all his children live with him. In wealth...and he has a solid extended family of married elders.. And black women are calling his family broken.....
your favorite part is also my favorite part... she explained it SO clearly, with an example that was totally relevant and understandable..... she's a Psychology Queen!
Love, love LOVED you speaking on this. This reminds me of ages ago when you spoke on unconditional love and something you can develop contextually if nothing ever comes up to challenge that feeling towards a person, I really think it is contingent on the person but what we should never do is have unconditional LOYALTY which is what a lot of these emotional terrorist men really want from their women. A man who feels entitled to hurt you in any way and jeopardise your safety whether that is mentally, emotionally or physically is not a person safe to be in community with, never mind be linked to as a life partner. Huge difference between going through the mud together vs bodyslamming you into the mud and sliding through all other unknown and unfavourable substances amongst mud too as a result. Loving seeing you back Shan even if it's just for the moment 🙏🏾
Life is hell why would any woman want a man that takes her to hell? He actually saying I want to do whatever I want even if I hurt you through that process hence “go to hell”.
Depends on how u r defining he'll but outside of abuse chances r u will be temporarily dragged to hell and bk in ure relationships. There will be the hell internally wen u work to change aspecta of ureself and your relationship. U will feel it before u even decide to leave.
Cam Newton has lived a privileged life and is too far gone…..he needs to grow up. God allows suffering for all of us. His time is coming, it will humble you.
Yes but it goes for women too . Why do yall act like idiots. Just because a woman tells a man the truth it does not take responsibility from idiots like u
He's exactly where he needs to be.. he lives his life.. by his terms.. most men live their lives by their wives terms. And they are usually miserable. Cam is happy.. rich as fk.. famous.. has a long list of women far more attractive and educated than you in his dms right now.. why would he change.. the only people that need to change are your sisters.. because without their preference for him, and men like him, He would be forced to change. But yall dont wannt sip that coffee.
@@Far7rom Cam is more broken and lonely than he portrays, he is becoming soulless. May he RIP. Plus, I got my Masters degree in 2022, my education doesn’t matter, what matters is that I am NOT a Ho’, gold digger, unscrupulous, or willing to steal a family from a child. It’s called standards. Life is short, but your dog or die alone.
I have to come back to watch this properly but YESSSS!!! Please, drag these men (respectfully) because there’s no way they are moving through society with these mindsets AND sharing it as if it’s gospel !!!
Shan I’m grateful around 4:00 mark you expressed Cameron as rude in his interactions with Dr. B. I saw so many men who’s opinions I generally respect on their platforms mostly agree with Dr. B however commending Cam for not being rude and actually complimented him for displaying respect, tolerance and courage. It help me recognize how much indignation, contempt, judgement mildly suppressed is culturally acceptable by men in ways I see acceptable in many professional settings especially corporate. Even if you can feel the depth of the true emotions covered with a smile or disguised with science we are conditioned to accept people at their words or lack there of and not their energy. Safety of people are at jeopardy because these are the red flags that victim blamers dismiss as respectful. Lastly I’m glad that offering Jasmine a safe place to discuss her partnership you were objective in responding to this. This is what I hoped for after the KeKe situation when I previously commented. I respect however your response about that relationship being more personal to you. If you haven’t had an episode (I don’t believe you have) on intimidate partner violence it would be much appreciated. The professional you discussing the nuance of the all types and not simply physical or the most extreme cases would be amazing. I believe we need to hear more how power can shift over time and situationally, that once safe doesn’t mean eternally safe- so how what are systems to be regularly evaluating what type of relationship we’re participating. ❤
No you shouldn’t go to hell for your partner . Wife , husband , boyfriend, girlfriend, are different roles stay in the role that you are in at that time, don’t be a girlfriend and do wife stuff, don’t be a boyfriend and do husband stuff.
That sound like his momma got abused and stayed. My momma left my father on another dang continent. My grandma left my cheating ass grandpa. Heck my great grandma left my rolling stone great grandpa. I grew up with an amazing step grand dad and an awesome stepdad who is an amazing grandpa to my son. I am not going to hell for know one. Neither will my son.
Question: Maybe Cam Newton's mom doesn't mean the literal hell, but going through tough times. Life can be challenging and the partner you have during those times can make a difference. In relationships a question would be: Do you have a partner you are willing to go through hard times like job loss or health scares?
I agree I also think to the point I made maybe halfway through we should also clarify what going through a hard time with someone looks like. Does that mean the expectation is that we're in the storm WITH them or we identify an expert and help in ways that are within our genuine capacity and expertise. With great friends for example there's an expectation that you'll accompany them at necessary points but not necessarily every step of the way. It's obviously different when you share more than just a bond (e.g. finances, kids, a bed) so I'm curious about the middle ground
Do u love holding yourself accountable. Why are women so happy when a stranger is being told something but won't check themselves about their life. Yall need to grow tf up
@@johnnybrison4150 I absolutely do LOVE holding myself accountable and I appreciate when others hold me accountable because I'm definitely someone who holds others and myself accountable. Holding yourself accountable allows you to level up. Self reflection is how I upgrade
The answer to the question is no ❤. 0:59 NUTS 🥜 that why im deconstructing right now. Because thats the culture. Also deconstructed from hip hops version of this culture aka ride or die. Um no. Never. We grow together not indefinitely cause each other to suffer.
Thank you Shan for offering this reframing! I too watched the interview and have spent much time reflecting on it. It really pains me to say this about another Black Woman, but some of what Dr Bryant said isn't psychologically sound. I think it is important to be critical of the Western and Eurocentric framing of much of Clinical Psychology. However what Dr Bryant appears to be offering is folk psychology, which is often observed when psychology meets TV entertainment. Esther Perel and Dr Orna Guralnik excellent (Couples Therapy series) are the only exceptions to this I have recently observed - whom both are exemplary! Is there anything wrong with folk psychology being presented as clinical psychology??? I think so - my concern relates to the perception and take aways people watching, especially in the Black Community will experience/have. I truly enjoy supporting members of my community and watching them thrive - we all win. But I have found this concerning professionally. I hope that we all may remain reflective of the clinical aspects and ethical responsibility of our work - not allowing them to be sacrificed in the name of entertainment. I am all for widening psychological lenses - may be if practising in a different field, appropriately name the model/approach.
Plz share how you define Folk Psychology and give an example or two. I very much want to move in the direction of building a psychologically sound relationship with myself and my partner.
I don't kno. I fell I understand the mom's sentiment but I also think she meant it different to how I understand it. Older women have a tendency to put up with a lot of shite and think that is wat is expected of them in marriage. This teaching is from the bible which says a woman should never divorce so they must suffer through everything to prove they r good Christians. God will support them 🙄. But for me I don't take of that far. I think too many relationships end today because people want to feel good all the time, their heaven, and r ready to run if it becomes unbalance at any time, their hell. They never stick around enough to find out if it is short term or think short term will be 1 week 👀. In addition humans also r avoiding going through the 'hell' of their own inner loves during that time. One that is needed to create change for them and their Relationships. Needless to say, we all have different Interpretations but I think there is some value to the statement worth exploring.
That is not what the Bible says actually! If you read the Bible you’ll know that the kind of husband God wanted for us isn’t one that will drag us to hell or treat us in a manner that is devaluing. Now how men have behaved thinking they need to test women and women allowing it by not understanding or actually reading the Bible for themselves is different! What the Bible ACTUALLY says is that a man should love his wife like Christ loves the church, that he should lay his life down for her, he should provide, love his wife like he loves himself, honor your wife etc.
I have to admit I’m a little disappointed with this interpretation by Shan. I am normally a huge fan I love your Chanel but out if everything that was said during that 2 hour conversation you found necessary to discuss is what his mother said about her relationship with his father, but didn’t address how that may have affected how he sees relationships himself is a disappointment. I think your response to this was very safe.
@@EdwardSanchezProductions Actually you should do the opposite. Raise your expectations for what YOU deserve, make and communicate clear boundaries, and never betray yourself or your boundaries by allowing someone to treat you any kind of way. Always be willing to walk away from what doesn’t serve you. When you center yourself, you won’t disappoint yourself.
As a mom of a young son, men like Cam Newton becoming an influence on him is my worst effing nightmare.
“People listen to me, so I must be saying helpful stuff “ 😂😂😂😂😂😂
That exact part hit me and I said “this is EXACTLY why he’s the chauvinist that he is.” SMDH men like Cam always twist up the intention of their elders advice. OR they take the terrible advice and run with it.
Cam has likely watched his father put his mother through HELL and she just continually stuck around and through it. She probably SHOULD HAVE left but that was a different time era. Women couldn’t just leave. They were very much dependent on men for financial support.
Cam now believes if a woman isn’t willing to put up with any and everything he puts out, she isn’t worthy and doesn’t truly love him. Smdh he’s a lost cause
THIS. B/c it's very possible that Mama Cam doesn't have the language to express what she conveyed in creating a home and family for him.
'My dad is the only man she knew'. Cam! I'm sure she has feelings and lessons outside of your father and her parents. And your wandering eye sure as hell didn't learn how to commit to a spouse.
and this is why he and nick look for women who would be financially dependent on them.
@XsweetstarliteX only 1% of black women have nick cannon money.. if he was only looking for women who could keep up with him financially he would be very single... we dont care about your money.. even guys at my level who make 250k.. and up.. we dont care what you make.
@@lemonlime1192 black man bad... got it.
Shannon said and I quote “I’m NOT going to hell over Jared!” 😂😂
Smart man.
He said; "My dad is the only man my mom knows..." I had questions: 1. Is your mom the only woman your dad knows? 2. Is your mom the only woman your dad (Pastor Newton) knows "intimately" DURING their long-lasting marriage? 3. Why would a 1st lady/pastor's wife want to go to hell for anyone or any sense of the term?
My response to, "My dad is the only man my mom knows..." was, "that you know of".
God would never ask us to go to hell for Him, darn it, he sent Jesus to earth so we don't have to go to hell. So why would he want us to go through hell for men?
@@amanda-kathleenseefane7549 very eloquent point
😂😂😂😂😂these people are maddddd
A man who says this is planning to put you through hell
When men put you through hell its so you can prove your love
Cam seems to be a man who constantly test his partners to see how much they can take because to him that is love. Also, he believes the women he gets is only with him because of his money so now he will punish you.
I think he’s punishing women for being weak because he saw his mom let his dad drag her through the mud. She never stood up for herself in her marriage and that traumatized him.
@@evaphillips2102 but then he turns around and gaslights and acts as if he thinks that’s the ultimate show of love when he really resents her for it. He’s not ok. He’s very twisted.
@@lemonlime1192 not everyone’s trauma makes them a more sensitive or aware person 🤷🏾♀️
This is why I place such a HEAVY emphasis on community and people think/call me crazy. We place too much emphasis on romantic relationships. It's not NORMAL nor healthy for your partner to be your everything, your end all be all that's not fair to do to anybody. People should really do the work to have a healthy community and support BEFORE they go look for relationships because by the time they're looking for a partner, their cup is so filled the last thing you'll do is settle for less than because you don't need them in your life, you WANT them in your life. [big difference]
Too bad most women move on love.. and love of lifestyle... but you're different.
@@alliec.6543 I learned the phrase “The Nuclear Family is cancer.” It’s not supposed to be mom dad and two point five kids alone against the world, we’re supposed to have grandparents and friends and aunts and uncles we can depend on.
Completely agree.
@evaphillips2102 that's what cam has.. a village. He kids of his own.. and he has adopted children.. and all his children live with him. In wealth...and he has a solid extended family of married elders.. And black women are calling his family broken.....
The light on him 🫠😂😂😂 That interview had me walking around the house speaking to myself and rebuking things😭😂
Damn… I heard many takes from that interview but this one was different and needed as well, you ate.
Yeah we need a feminist take on men.. yeah.. we need that.
your favorite part is also my favorite part... she explained it SO clearly, with an example that was totally relevant and understandable..... she's a Psychology Queen!
His mom is preaching and encouraging struggle love. She can keep that 😂
Love, love LOVED you speaking on this. This reminds me of ages ago when you spoke on unconditional love and something you can develop contextually if nothing ever comes up to challenge that feeling towards a person, I really think it is contingent on the person but what we should never do is have unconditional LOYALTY which is what a lot of these emotional terrorist men really want from their women. A man who feels entitled to hurt you in any way and jeopardise your safety whether that is mentally, emotionally or physically is not a person safe to be in community with, never mind be linked to as a life partner. Huge difference between going through the mud together vs bodyslamming you into the mud and sliding through all other unknown and unfavourable substances amongst mud too as a result. Loving seeing you back Shan even if it's just for the moment 🙏🏾
Life is hell why would any woman want a man that takes her to hell? He actually saying I want to do whatever I want even if I hurt you through that process hence “go to hell”.
Depends on how u r defining he'll but outside of abuse chances r u will be temporarily dragged to hell and bk in ure relationships. There will be the hell internally wen u work to change aspecta of ureself and your relationship. U will feel it before u even decide to leave.
Cam Newton has lived a privileged life and is too far gone…..he needs to grow up. God allows suffering for all of us. His time is coming, it will humble you.
Yes but it goes for women too . Why do yall act like idiots. Just because a woman tells a man the truth it does not take responsibility from idiots like u
He's exactly where he needs to be.. he lives his life.. by his terms.. most men live their lives by their wives terms. And they are usually miserable. Cam is happy.. rich as fk.. famous.. has a long list of women far more attractive and educated than you in his dms right now.. why would he change.. the only people that need to change are your sisters.. because without their preference for him, and men like him, He would be forced to change.
But yall dont wannt sip that coffee.
@@Far7rom Cam is more broken and lonely than he portrays, he is becoming soulless. May he RIP. Plus, I got my Masters degree in 2022, my education doesn’t matter, what matters is that I am NOT a Ho’, gold digger, unscrupulous, or willing to steal a family from a child. It’s called standards. Life is short, but your dog or die alone.
That's why having a real community matter not just paid staff.
I have to come back to watch this properly but YESSSS!!! Please, drag these men (respectfully) because there’s no way they are moving through society with these mindsets AND sharing it as if it’s gospel !!!
Shan I’m grateful around 4:00 mark you expressed Cameron as rude in his interactions with Dr. B. I saw so many men who’s opinions I generally respect on their platforms mostly agree with Dr. B however commending Cam for not being rude and actually complimented him for displaying respect, tolerance and courage. It help me recognize how much indignation, contempt, judgement mildly suppressed is culturally acceptable by men in ways I see acceptable in many professional settings especially corporate. Even if you can feel the depth of the true emotions covered with a smile or disguised with science we are conditioned to accept people at their words or lack there of and not their energy. Safety of people are at jeopardy because these are the red flags that victim blamers dismiss as respectful. Lastly I’m glad that offering Jasmine a safe place to discuss her partnership you were objective in responding to this. This is what I hoped for after the KeKe situation when I previously commented. I respect however your response about that relationship being more personal to you. If you haven’t had an episode (I don’t believe you have) on intimidate partner violence it would be much appreciated. The professional you discussing the nuance of the all types and not simply physical or the most extreme cases would be amazing. I believe we need to hear more how power can shift over time and situationally, that once safe doesn’t mean eternally safe- so how what are systems to be regularly evaluating what type of relationship we’re participating. ❤
Shan. You ate with this. That’s all I have to say.
Love Shannon’s dialogue
Marketing struggle love is big in the black community. It’s promoted in movies and passed down especially in the church. No thank you!
So true. but as a black women I choose to reject some of it. But I love being a black women
More of these please!! 👏🏾
I've found that any relationship advice given by a religious fanatic should be ignored entirely.
Immediately
I'm Christian and was immediately triggered by that piece of advice... why would any Christian knowingly drag you to literal hell 😭😭😭
“People listen to me, so I must be saying helpful stuff.” Damn, that’s powerful. That delusion is so rampant these days.
No you shouldn’t go to hell for your partner . Wife , husband , boyfriend, girlfriend, are different roles stay in the role that you are in at that time, don’t be a girlfriend and do wife stuff, don’t be a boyfriend and do husband stuff.
He believes he is paying for the right to abuse women.
That sound like his momma got abused and stayed. My momma left my father on another dang continent. My grandma left my cheating ass grandpa. Heck my great grandma left my rolling stone great grandpa. I grew up with an amazing step grand dad and an awesome stepdad who is an amazing grandpa to my son. I am not going to hell for know one. Neither will my son.
5:43 that analogy I love ❣️
Some people would literally rather go to hell than to heaven. I love that for you. Toodaloo.
I always thought this guy was off. Something always off about him.
I love Shan and her intelligence, her commentary is always spot on
This was a VERY amazing video. Every last word.
That man just trying to go viral
Thank you QUEEN SHAN!!!!
See 3:50-4:01. Truest thing i think ive ever heard about relationships
Question: Maybe Cam Newton's mom doesn't mean the literal hell, but going through tough times. Life can be challenging and the partner you have during those times can make a difference. In relationships a question would be: Do you have a partner you are willing to go through hard times like job loss or health scares?
That's not hell, that's just tough times. Hell is abusive
If you watch the whole interview that's not how he framed it
@@foreverpringle I was questioning the term of Hell and not taking the literal definition. Words can be used figuratively
I agree I also think to the point I made maybe halfway through we should also clarify what going through a hard time with someone looks like. Does that mean the expectation is that we're in the storm WITH them or we identify an expert and help in ways that are within our genuine capacity and expertise. With great friends for example there's an expectation that you'll accompany them at necessary points but not necessarily every step of the way. It's obviously different when you share more than just a bond (e.g. finances, kids, a bed) so I'm curious about the middle ground
The same way he thinks is how my mother and aunts think.The glorification of struggle love is so scary.Sometimes,I lose hope.
I'm not going to hell for nobody!
He must have misinterpreted his mom’s statement.I can’t see a God fearing woman saying this. No one is worth going to hell for. In life or death 😅
YOU ARE BRILLIANT
Girl, you ate in this video 👏🏽👏🏽
Love this!!!
Do u love holding yourself accountable. Why are women so happy when a stranger is being told something but won't check themselves about their life. Yall need to grow tf up
@@johnnybrison4150 I absolutely do LOVE holding myself accountable and I appreciate when others hold me accountable because I'm definitely someone who holds others and myself accountable. Holding yourself accountable allows you to level up. Self reflection is how I upgrade
Your answer was so classy bro didn’t even have a comeback😂
Eat em up babes 👏🏽👏🏽
Nobody whats to go to hell, but, for sure we (husband & wife) we’ll go to the same place.
Love is H@ll; naw I’m good on becoming elderly and alone🤣
The answer to the question is no ❤. 0:59 NUTS 🥜 that why im deconstructing right now. Because thats the culture.
Also deconstructed from hip hops version of this culture aka ride or die.
Um no. Never.
We grow together not indefinitely cause each other to suffer.
South Fulton’s finest 😂🤦🏽♀️
stahp 😭
💀💀💀
Have you read “the queens code”? Are are familiar with Allison a Armstrong.
Thank you Shan for offering this reframing! I too watched the interview and have spent much time reflecting on it. It really pains me to say this about another Black Woman, but some of what Dr Bryant said isn't psychologically sound. I think it is important to be critical of the Western and Eurocentric framing of much of Clinical Psychology. However what Dr Bryant appears to be offering is folk psychology, which is often observed when psychology meets TV entertainment. Esther Perel and Dr Orna Guralnik excellent (Couples Therapy series) are the only exceptions to this I have recently observed - whom both are exemplary! Is there anything wrong with folk psychology being presented as clinical psychology??? I think so - my concern relates to the perception and take aways people watching, especially in the Black Community will experience/have. I truly enjoy supporting members of my community and watching them thrive - we all win. But I have found this concerning professionally. I hope that we all may remain reflective of the clinical aspects and ethical responsibility of our work - not allowing them to be sacrificed in the name of entertainment. I am all for widening psychological lenses - may be if practising in a different field, appropriately name the model/approach.
Elaborate I’m curious as to why you think her arguments are not sound
Plz share how you define Folk Psychology and give an example or two. I very much want to move in the direction of building a psychologically sound relationship with myself and my partner.
I don't kno. I fell I understand the mom's sentiment but I also think she meant it different to how I understand it. Older women have a tendency to put up with a lot of shite and think that is wat is expected of them in marriage. This teaching is from the bible which says a woman should never divorce so they must suffer through everything to prove they r good Christians. God will support them 🙄.
But for me I don't take of that far. I think too many relationships end today because people want to feel good all the time, their heaven, and r ready to run if it becomes unbalance at any time, their hell. They never stick around enough to find out if it is short term or think short term will be 1 week 👀. In addition humans also r avoiding going through the 'hell' of their own inner loves during that time. One that is needed to create change for them and their Relationships. Needless to say, we all have different Interpretations but I think there is some value to the statement worth exploring.
That is not what the Bible says actually! If you read the Bible you’ll know that the kind of husband God wanted for us isn’t one that will drag us to hell or treat us in a manner that is devaluing. Now how men have behaved thinking they need to test women and women allowing it by not understanding or actually reading the Bible for themselves is different! What the Bible ACTUALLY says is that a man should love his wife like Christ loves the church, that he should lay his life down for her, he should provide, love his wife like he loves himself, honor your wife etc.
The Bible doesn’t say that though. It’s clear on how spouses are to treat one another.
I have to admit I’m a little disappointed with this interpretation by Shan. I am normally a huge fan I love your Chanel but out if everything that was said during that 2 hour conversation you found necessary to discuss is what his mother said about her relationship with his father, but didn’t address how that may have affected how he sees relationships himself is a disappointment. I think your response to this was very safe.
❤❤❤
Sometimes you got to keep your expectations low
explain!
@@shanboody in order to keep yourself from feeling disappointed
@@EdwardSanchezProductions Actually you should do the opposite. Raise your expectations for what YOU deserve, make and communicate clear boundaries, and never betray yourself or your boundaries by allowing someone to treat you any kind of way. Always be willing to walk away from what doesn’t serve you. When you center yourself, you won’t disappoint yourself.
so I THINK there's a Buddhist principle that says 'expectation is the thief of joy'. I don't think that's the same as having low expectations. Imo.
@@saphire2214 Yes Queen.
Relationships are not worth fighting for no matter where it's going
Partnering with people has more to do with serving our insecurities as opposed to bringing out the best version of ourselves.
Jesus never said anyone was worth going to hell he died so we didnt have to🫣
What a dysfunctional mindset