10 ways to stop ruining your life

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  • Опубликовано: 14 май 2024
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Комментарии • 1,4 тыс.

  • @betterideas
    @betterideas  Год назад +732

    Made this video while I was on the road, so it's a bit more stripped down and conversational. Would love to hear your thoughts on some of this stuff. I felt strongly like I should give you guys the reverse perspective of the last video. But if you haven't checked out the previous video, I'd highly recommend. It's metal af: ruclips.net/video/ofdiMd3P5h4/видео.html
    Also, how are you guys doing?

    • @coreyaherne5052
      @coreyaherne5052 Год назад +16

      Job terminated me, but because I worked on my skills for the past 4 years, I already have another technical job sorted out. Thanks in part to your content

    • @WodenSimRacing
      @WodenSimRacing Год назад +5

      I really needed to hear this stuff today, and I liked the conversational aspect. Glad I clicked. Liked!

    • @perversemite519
      @perversemite519 Год назад +3

      This video felt like I'm having a deep conversation with u and I think it's engaging and impactful especially in the context of this video

    • @kawalamac
      @kawalamac Год назад +1

      "move the mouse over to click the like button" then reasoning should at least in theory work wonders. You almost got me.

    • @gastonvalla7015
      @gastonvalla7015 Год назад +3

      I'm doing very well thanks to all these nice videos of yours i've recently found about. I share them with my friends and apply your advise constantly. Thank you so much

  • @PickledPerspectives
    @PickledPerspectives Год назад +3519

    Tried to summarise:
    1. Have a goal.
    Write in detail what you want your life to look like. Make your goals specific.
    2. Step out of the cave.
    Stop spending so much time inside doing monotonous things/spending time in front of screens. Step outside. Try and socialize.
    3. Take risks.
    Life is inherently risky. There are many things out of our control that cause pain. Might as well take the risks of trying something you actually want to do even if it involves failing, no? It is empowering to try. It's risky to *avoid* risk and just be comfortable.
    4. Get out of your head.
    Just start the thing before you can even think about it. Before you give yourself time to hesitate.
    5. Produce.
    Produce more than you consume. Creating more than consuming brings more excitement into your life. Like watching videos? Make one. Like looking at photographs? Take one.
    6. Welcome feedback.
    You do not know everything. Surround yourself with people who challenge you and hold you to a higher standard.
    7. Be Vulnerable.
    Don't be afraid to be emotionally vulnerable and honest to your inner circle. Find the courage to let people you trust in, let them see your flaws. Because these flaws would otherwise thrive in secrecy.
    8. Embrace conflict.
    If someone has wronged you, don't say that it's okay. It's not okay. If you say it's okay, it's likely that person might take advantage of you in the future. It also implies you don't respect yourself and your boundaries. Risk a little discomfort to increase your self respect.
    9. Don't play Runescape lol
    10. Be optimistic.
    Life is hard, there's no shortage of obstacles, so why focus on the negative? You'd just be adding to them obstacles. Seek to find the good in all situations. Take a moment to think about what you're grateful for. Try to monitor your thoughts/be more mindful about the stories you tell yourself and recognise the tone. The last person who should be robbing you of encouragement is yourself.
    Good luck guys :)

  • @D.Kinsey
    @D.Kinsey Год назад +30

    3:39 "let people know your name"
    I love when super simple, almost annoyingly obvious, statements contain within them so much.....wisdom? potential? power?
    I don't know exactly the word, but that simple idea speaks so loudly to me.
    And there's so much detail in that word "let".
    It's not "make people know your name" it's not assertive advice, but just allow yourself to be part of society, allow yourself to speak, to be seen and partake in society.
    SO much meat here!

  • @missalsharki
    @missalsharki Год назад +902

    I’m an 18 year old first year university student. My essay is due tomorrow and I had a month to do it. But I had been over planning and overthinking how great it’ll be once I finally get down to doing it. Look at me now. Several hours before submission date. I resonate with every word that you’ve said. I over consume “productive” content and it doesn’t even help me. I watch all these videos to learn how to do my thing better yet never do it because I keep watching. So I’m really grateful for this! Thank you

    • @Thinkaboutit897
      @Thinkaboutit897 Год назад +103

      Your current situation reminds me about an experiment conducted by scientists about which I read. It started out by the scientists taking various groups and individual students and gave them a project of capturing the perfect picture. The best one would win a grand prize. Majority of the groups waited for the best photo to capture and never captured any whereas 1 group decided on a different strategy. They would take picture of everything that they found to be photogenic. They ended clicking more than 200 photos and from that they selected the best one to submit. As you may have guessed, this group won the contest because they didn't wait for the perfect opportunity. They just took every opportunity and *tried* to make the best of it.

    • @missalsharki
      @missalsharki Год назад +37

      @@Thinkaboutit897 wow. You know what, this really applies to me. I always wait for the perfect time to carry out somethunh. Nyil the due date is there and flight or fight kicks in. I dont do my best but the minimum. Leaves me ashamed because I was planning perfection

    • @Thinkaboutit897
      @Thinkaboutit897 Год назад +16

      @@missalsharki well now that you've identified the problem. Find the solution to it and apply it. Boom! Your problem is solved.

    • @jesustovar2549
      @jesustovar2549 Год назад +7

      I'm also an 18 years old university student in a quite similar situatuion, 2022 has been a year with many ups and downs for me, sometimes I feel angry and tire after.

    • @KrenzyHD
      @KrenzyHD Год назад +1

      How did the essay go?

  • @kyf_
    @kyf_ Год назад +2303

    They should teach these in school

    • @Aaden1127
      @Aaden1127 Год назад +26

      Exactly

    • @haroldbutts8754
      @haroldbutts8754 Год назад +121

      No we must teach everyone about triangles 😎

    • @kenyalmb
      @kenyalmb Год назад +13

      Exactly

    • @smileynova2399
      @smileynova2399 Год назад +19

      Exactly what I was thinking society would be so much better

    • @rlrihards948
      @rlrihards948 Год назад +24

      In school they doesn't teach what you need. That's what it's bs

  • @zakih7532
    @zakih7532 Год назад +303

    It's the overthinking that I struggle with a lot personally. I feel like my life has literally become this sort of meta form of living where I'm constantly planning on things I want to change but then never doing any of them, feeling miserable as a result. I would love a whole video on tip number 4 alone tbh.

    • @cv8452
      @cv8452 Год назад +5

      Same here.

    • @arrrr_ianaa1689
      @arrrr_ianaa1689 Год назад +1

      Totally agree

    • @venom2381
      @venom2381 Год назад +6

      I suggest reading the book Chatter from Ethan Ross. It explains the overthinking part of our inside voice and how to be conscious of this fact and use our internal thinking for the better.
      The voice inside our head will never stop so why use it to do harm to yourself? This is a question for everyone including me.
      If you have plans of reading i suggest this book as it explains in details why we have this chatter that can spiral into overthinking.

    • @kirillt6422
      @kirillt6422 Год назад +14

      Shit, It's like you're describing me. Huge chaotic pile of thoughts in my head that I need to finally start doing this and that, change this and that, stop doing this thing and that thing... And the result is always the same. I fall into a stupor and procrastination and do nothing. As a result I hate myself for this so much that I start feeling hopeless

    • @zakih7532
      @zakih7532 Год назад +2

      @@venom2381 Thank you for the suggestion! I will definitely be reading that.

  • @BrentJohn
    @BrentJohn Год назад +392

    The ones I struggle with the most are:
    - Taking risks
    - Getting out of my head
    - Embracing conflict
    - Being optimistic.
    You really articulated why these are so important, which is extremely helpful. Thanks Joey! 🙂

    • @samin2244
      @samin2244 Год назад

      Same dude i used to have these problems .

    • @mineway3765
      @mineway3765 Год назад +1

      I gave the 100th like on this comment. 😅

    • @KSHITIJTAMBOLI
      @KSHITIJTAMBOLI Год назад +1

      for me it is living secretly, not opening up when needed and not getting out of my head

    • @gravy_gaming9521
      @gravy_gaming9521 Год назад +2

      The getting out of my head thing is me to the max Its hard as an introvert and quiter person it's almost impossible not to do it.

    • @BloodRaven429
      @BloodRaven429 Год назад

      @@KSHITIJTAMBOLI same

  • @LPISZ
    @LPISZ Год назад +1

    Hey man, I just wanted to tell you that your videos are enlightening to me. I found out about your chanel about two months ago, and since then I have been watching every video asap cause you never run out of useful things to say, at least that's how I feel about it.
    I'm not going to say I am going through the best time of my life now that I watch your videos but I certainly am in a better place than the one I was two months ago. I know that's been possible only thanks to myself. However, your videos really helped me a lot when it comes to see things from a different perspective. I found out so many things about myself I didn't like, and that were so harmful to me and the ones around me, I just feel like I gotta say thank you.
    There's still a lot of work to do but I feel there's light at the end of the tunnel, I found my path and I just gotta do what's needed to not stray away from it.

  • @OscarOffTheCuff
    @OscarOffTheCuff Год назад +182

    It makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one going through these issues. I hope everyone here figures them out. At 26 I feel so old but need to realize It’s the perfect time to completely transform

    • @SjorsTimmer
      @SjorsTimmer Год назад +11

      And, of course, it's absolutely fine to start small, and to start over many times. Just keep on rolling

    • @iPostiPodiEatiYuri
      @iPostiPodiEatiYuri Год назад +12

      late 20s is the time to transform and at 26 you have a headstart!

    • @gasto64
      @gasto64 Год назад +5

      It's never too late to start living! Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting you... i recommend you to read Limitless!

    • @dubistschonaberdafurkannst9193
      @dubistschonaberdafurkannst9193 Год назад +5

      It's the perfect age to play runescape!

    • @OscarOffTheCuff
      @OscarOffTheCuff Год назад

      @@dubistschonaberdafurkannst9193 I was playing that in 2004 before I had hair on my nuts!

  • @yohaizilber
    @yohaizilber Год назад +687

    Every thing you hate about yourself is just a part that loves you and wants to protect you, even a self harming one just wants the physical pain to protect you from unbearable emotional pain and if you just took a time to listen to it and love it back, it might become your greatest gift.

    • @Blessed_V0id
      @Blessed_V0id Год назад +16

      What if you hate the world? What if you hate society, and people, and treachery and life itself? What if you hate everything for mistreating you? I apologise for complaining, I just see how wise you are, and hope to be taught by someone as compassionate and (seemingly) hopeful as you are

    • @punishedvenomsnake716
      @punishedvenomsnake716 Год назад +9

      @@Blessed_V0id
      This is exactly how I've felt for the longest time. Wow. Actually taken aback by how much this has described me to a tee.
      What do we do if we feel this way?

    • @Blessed_V0id
      @Blessed_V0id Год назад +24

      @@punishedvenomsnake716 Survive. Be the hero that was never there for you. Make a better world, so that no one you meet has to feel the pain you have, unless they deserve it. Save your hate for evil, and help anything good grow strong. I believe in you

    • @punishedvenomsnake716
      @punishedvenomsnake716 Год назад +8

      @@Blessed_V0id
      Thanks a lot, Boss. I'll take your words to heart and I'm rooting for you too ❤💪

    • @Blessed_V0id
      @Blessed_V0id Год назад +4

      @@punishedvenomsnake716 Thanks man. Its hard to remember we good few arnt alone sometimes

  • @LaureMBrussolo
    @LaureMBrussolo Год назад +143

    I like how concise and focused the advice and video is. No 10mn intro, no useless advice. 👍

  • @izaebele
    @izaebele Год назад +18

    I appreciate how you're able to repackage the same message so many times with such patience. because it really is so simple on its face. go outside and live your life! but when you're stuck in old patterns, videos like this are such a good reminder. I should use that Inaction is a Slow Death hoodie as wall decor for a daily reminder lol.

  • @matthewgatland4713
    @matthewgatland4713 Год назад +2

    I’ve been in a rough headspace lately, but these videos are always so great in keeping myself grounded. Thank you man and keep it up.

  • @anetherealpursuit
    @anetherealpursuit Год назад +132

    This video was timely. I’ve been through a traumatic breakup recently and fallen into a rut. Moving, going outside, avoiding my phone, talking to people, working on my goals, these things have been helping me get through it 🖤

  • @ColeRolland
    @ColeRolland Год назад +166

    Another banger of a video dude! Keep up the great work as always!

    • @rollandjoeseph
      @rollandjoeseph Год назад

      Wow, I have the same last name
      ...are you a new york resident?

  • @nathalie5301
    @nathalie5301 Год назад +32

    sometimes when im stuck doing nothing productive, i tell myself to watch 1 video from betterideas which is relevant for me, and then start doing what im supposed to do. He really showed me some mistakes ive been making and i truly believe his videos are part of the reason why im getting less depressive episodes ❤️

  • @mareikeb.982
    @mareikeb.982 Год назад +39

    I always subconsciously click on your videos and enjoy how much effort you put in it. It's like being reminded of why I'm on this planet. Thank you so much for keeping up the hard work, so I (and many others) can do, too!

  • @aerethetic
    @aerethetic Год назад +11

    this honestly helped me get out of the depressive slump i'd been in for the past 2 weeks, i always thought that am not thinking things well enough but what i'd been lacking was the idea of shutting my overthinking & actually start studying rather than procrastinating my way through

  • @faithmichael2343
    @faithmichael2343 Год назад +6

    I’ve watched that particular “how to ruin your life” vid this summer and subscribed after that. For a long time i’ve been seeing your vids and left them “for later”. Lately i started noticing that my life is going downhill, i sunk in demotivation and procrastination - just like in that video… and i told myself that i would rebuild my routine, prepare for the exams and start working out. Today is that day. I was going to look up some tutorial on youtube and saw this fresh released vid. For me that really seems like a sign that it IS the right time and it truly boosted my motivation. Thank you all!

  • @MavClark
    @MavClark Год назад +12

    the fact that you put in so much effort just to help other people like this is truly incredible you are a great person mate

  • @Bruno87198
    @Bruno87198 Год назад +39

    The part where you said about taking risks was mind blowing for me... I took a risk in the last year that I regret for, it was a mistake, but as you said, we can't avoid risks in life. We have to confront our conflicts and not run away from them, like you said. Thanks for this video.

  • @iseeu-fp9po
    @iseeu-fp9po Год назад +10

    I have been passing through a lot of "work on yourself"-videos, and a lot of them have been great, but you somehow struck a chord with me. I like the way you deliver things, and I like the fact that you repeat some fundamentals that simply need to be repeated. I feel like you cut through the BS and get to it. It's up to me now to make the changes that can better my life. I also love the fact that you adress the platform that provides you money; RUclips, which is inherently addictive.

  • @YusiArtistry
    @YusiArtistry Год назад +14

    Thanks for this Joey.
    Embracing conflict is one I've really struggled with, especially the last few years. It's so hard to tell people "no", and I try so hard not to argue with anyone. I honestly hate how much value I place on people's perception of me, but I feel trapped. Maybe my greatest fear is that if I speak up or put my foot down then I'll be shunned by the people closest to me. But in so doing I've started to despise the people closest to me. It probably doesn't help either that I'm fairly good at hiding my emotions.
    So...yeah, needless to say I wanna work on this one.
    Oh, also Overthinking & Being Vulnerable. Those one's too.

  • @ABeautifulTraveler
    @ABeautifulTraveler Год назад +3

    The previous video was AMAZING! It put everything into amazing perspective! It was my favorite work of yours yet.
    It was SO important that I hear all those ways I've been hurting myself during what I'm going through in recent years.. The ways in which i' ve been ruining my life.
    I love this breakdown as well. Thank you so much for all of the time and work you put into your videos.

  • @sms5879
    @sms5879 Год назад +6

    The part you said about taking risks and trying than being apathetic really spoke to me. You really called me out. I think I'm ready to make some big adjustments now. Thank you for this video💗

  • @denden.cebuana
    @denden.cebuana Год назад +3

    Thank you so much for making this video! It's so relatable and thought-provoking.
    The one thing that stuck with me was the "empowering rejection." I am keeping this newly found phrase to look at failure and rejection from a different angle.

  • @Vero.does.better
    @Vero.does.better 9 месяцев назад +15

    "The satisfaction that we are longing for is the feeling of creation "
    Quote of the day❤

  • @florance17
    @florance17 Год назад +8

    I just love the kind of advice you give. I have this friend who is really lost in life. Wish he would hear and take these lessons to heart, but I've tried twice and I think he actively avoids this kind of content. People need to get that they are the only force capable of changing their lives. Otherwise there's nothing to be said or done.

  • @SurprisedPika666
    @SurprisedPika666 Год назад +5

    Your videos have been so helpful for me. I'm one of those people who can never focus on anything, I'm always procrastinating and daydreaming. But binge-watching your videos has helped me see that there is so much that I can become. I actually got up to go to the gym today. Insane!
    And also, you're utterly hilarious. You remind me of myself but better.

  • @norolover4015
    @norolover4015 Год назад +20

    It's amazing how many of the topics in this video strongly resonate with me--more so than any of your other videos. Just earlier, I was thinking about how I wanted to incorporate jogging into my routine, and I realized: why do I not just do it right now? With that, I just started running, and I really felt better because of it. I can't stress the importance of not letting your brain overthink things enough.

  • @Aletreya
    @Aletreya Год назад +1

    These are great goals, to play off the first point. Thanks for taking the time to put these together, friend! As an addendum, consider being present. Not as a # 11, but really as a part B to all of these. The more we are present, awareness increases, risk is acknowledged and even mitigated, our spotlight shifts off us, we begin to explore instead of just react, vulnerability becomes a part of discovery not sacrifice, etc.
    I’ve found being present and honing in on that can even develop a sense of meaning in itself, without goals to necessarily anchor to.
    Love your content, and glad for your own discoveries! Keep it up.

  • @DeWitteWilson
    @DeWitteWilson Год назад +1

    Merry Christmas, Joey! Thanks for your videos. I only found your channel a few months ago, but I always look forward to them.

  • @kozeeko
    @kozeeko Год назад +6

    thank you so much for doing this video. the last one hit really hard, but i couldn’t really find strength in myself to figure out how to un-ruin my life. i’m sure this one will help, thank you

  • @sebmeyer2151
    @sebmeyer2151 Год назад +8

    I've been in a depressed rut for the past few weeks, so now that I know you read these comments I just wanna say thank you for your videos. They helped me a lot.

  • @peaceseeker7441
    @peaceseeker7441 Год назад +2

    Joey you are amazing, thank you so much for this! You are changing lives man!

  • @anthonysorkin789
    @anthonysorkin789 Год назад +1

    Just went through some hard times, much it was related to some of the things covered in this video. Thank you for putting this out, really puts things in perspective.

  • @rossmoore8876
    @rossmoore8876 Год назад +6

    I'm glad you touched on the gratitude journals on the last point, and would offer a counter-point: Start a journal where you write down upcoming tasks and current thoughts. It helps to stay organized, and keep a physical copy of your responsibilities. Your first point about goals is much easier to work towards when you have them written down and can reference them over time, instead of forgetting them months later. Also, seeing my current thoughts and looking back a week/month/year later helps myself see what I was actively doing to work towards my goals, and how it affected me overall to improve/maintain a healthy lifestyle for the future. Plus it helps to stay on task, such as when you have school projects coming up and can see how much time you've actually dedicated to them so far.
    Glad to see this video pop up in my feed! Would be great to see new content dedicated to factors such as sleep and exercise, and how they're important to maintain these healthy changes.

  • @alessiodibella2003
    @alessiodibella2003 Год назад +3

    As always you are very inspiring.
    Tonight I am feeling the need to recover from a period of apathy, anxiety and low motivation. I am about to go to bed but tomorrow I will put more effort into putting these tips into practice. Thank you very much.

  • @doorsfan173
    @doorsfan173 Год назад +1

    Thanks for making this one. The last one was a tough watch, I got a new job and felt myself slipping into (not totally IN) some of these habits. I'm taking an extra long weekend for some introspection and goal setting and this will help with that.

  • @joshplog321
    @joshplog321 Год назад

    Thank you all of your content. This video is the bullseye I needed for this wild ride of mine.

  • @zachmccluskey5959
    @zachmccluskey5959 Год назад +23

    Your videos have brought most change to my life, because they are simple and straight to the point. Also bring out the super obvious things that my oblivious self just looked past lol

  • @get_yo_facts_ryt
    @get_yo_facts_ryt Год назад +3

    Sir you don't know how much difference you've made in my life. I love and respect you so much. Thank you!!!

  • @jarreddixon6718
    @jarreddixon6718 Год назад

    It’s crazy how perfect timing I found this video and channel man. Thank you sir 🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @PierreLouisVarnier
    @PierreLouisVarnier 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you so much for this channel. So refreshing to discover personal development content that is actually honest, sourced and deontologic, and doesn't just resolve around an endless cycle of "you must be better in order to be better" self-depreciation bullsh**. I'm gonna struggle a lot especially with the "stop isolating" part but hey at least I'm on the path. Keep it up man

  • @intrepidtable935
    @intrepidtable935 Год назад +33

    I know I’m a heavy pessimist, my friend pointed out to my last night when I was having a rough day. She told me I always look for the negatives in any situation. Ever since she said that it really changed my outlook. I do look at situations as a bad, horrible thing for my life instead of looking for a positive way around any bad situations. Thanks for making this video I really appreciate it! -Alex

    • @Blessed_V0id
      @Blessed_V0id Год назад +5

      Best of luck to you. Its not your fault your pessimistic, but you deserve better for you...plus it can lead to you loosing what little good things you have. Life isn't supposed to be so terrible, so try to enjoy it while you can friend

    • @TheJacklwilliams
      @TheJacklwilliams Год назад +2

      Fantastic that you arrived at this place! I was blessed years ago by a dear friend, with incredible advice that I took to heart and pursued. Things aren’t, ever perfect, but our outlook, our pursuits, matter above everything around us and what’s coming at us. I’ll give you this simple thing. Be consciously aware of the things you consume. The web, the media, everything that’s bombarding you, is typically as negative as it gets. Cease, and desist, don’t click on it. Pursue answers, pursue light. It’s tough, it’s not easy and from time to time you’ll fall off the train. Get back on, and continue.

    • @freckles4603
      @freckles4603 Год назад +4

      If it works for you that’s great! And keep seeing the positive. Please just know that pessimism isn’t something that has to be fixed or changed.

    • @TheJacklwilliams
      @TheJacklwilliams Год назад +3

      @@freckles4603 This is a damn good point freckles. I’ll second that with a “tend to your garden”. Everyone is guilty of it, we all have opinions about others games. I’ve always stated to my kids and anyone else that’s listening, play YOUR game and if you are focussed there? You won’t have time to criticize others.

    • @joelyoyoman5918
      @joelyoyoman5918 Год назад

      @@freckles4603 true, like pretty much everything else in life, a healthy balance of optimism and pessimism will make you wiser and stronger than most people

  • @nataliedube1665
    @nataliedube1665 Год назад +4

    I really appreciate your videos because I think they can be applied to almost anyone’s life. And at any stage of life I feel like it’s something I need to hear.
    I think I struggle the most with optimism, because although rarely I’m unrealistically positive, it’s always been part of my personality to have a cynical, dry sense of humor. I would say it’s really annoying to have at least one person a day tell me I should be more optimistic. I’m trying to even it out more, I swear! Thanks for the reminder!

    • @nononononono1730
      @nononononono1730 Год назад +1

      It's okay to be this way! It has literally to do with our genetics if we're rather pessimistic or rather optimistic. You don't have to fake your personailty. I personally think it's important that there are people that are more pessimistic than others, because they see things from a different angle, and lots of times we need to have different views to create a good solution.
      Ofcourse having a gratitude journal and looking on the bright side of life from time to time is beneficial for everyone. 🦛

  • @ilyavostretsov
    @ilyavostretsov Год назад

    Love your production, Joey! These monologues give me a breath of fresh air each time I watch your videos. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's dramatically important for us. All the best!

  • @ryanrowell8860
    @ryanrowell8860 Год назад

    One of my favorite videos from you I love the conversational aspect!

  • @john-wiggains
    @john-wiggains Год назад +7

    I deeply appreciate that you demonstrated optimism while the motorbike drove by many times.
    Actually made me put the label of pessimism to my driving mind.

  • @bradparker716
    @bradparker716 10 месяцев назад +3

    Striking up conversations with strangers is one of the best motivators for me because I work at a grocery store and I love my job. It's like practice for customer service and it makes my capability for patience shoot through the roof

  • @kurtisca
    @kurtisca Год назад

    100% valuable info from start to finish - Thanks for sharing this with us!

  • @Digital_EDGE_Designs
    @Digital_EDGE_Designs Год назад +1

    Great video! Thank you so much! I am using your advice and pausing the video and I’m going to do what I gotta do today, definitely will be back to finish watching tho!

  • @AlmostPrince
    @AlmostPrince Год назад +8

    You're honestly such an inspiration brother. ❤️

  • @dordeath4883
    @dordeath4883 Год назад +3

    Number 7 hit me hard, I was emotionally volnurable with a very good friend which then attacked me with my own traumas she knew about me and I felt betrayed for days, less for the words but more for the broken trust I had in her. Emotional volnurability is a weapon which can be used for healing or destruction so you need to think deep before giving it to someone.

  • @frugal10
    @frugal10 Год назад

    Thank you for this message…. I needed this today and there you were ❤

  • @joyfulfishman5445
    @joyfulfishman5445 Год назад

    You’re helping so many people, myself included, with this information. Thank you so much for making these videos

  • @masked8745
    @masked8745 Год назад +3

    I realised that doing things i hate for enough time makes me build a habit, this habit might be healthy but its still annoying to do. I still do it like taking cold showers everyday, i always feel obligated to take this shower but now i just kinda do it. SOmetimes i struggle sometimes its just getting over with it. From 7 months ago when i started, it felt awful and i couldnt do it 3 days a streak. But i forced myself to consistently go through it. This made me more familier with, discomfort and so i dared to do harder things to challenge myself. I now go to the Gym and i still mostly feel like shit. But these 7 months have improved me so so so much and i learned so much. I started getting professional help and i found that i had some diagnosis like ADD and perhaps Aspergers. Life is still tough but, i feel like the hard part is being uncomfortable, but when you are uncomfortable enough you ultimately feel better and better about it.
    I dont know what anyone is going through, i know that i went through hell. I didn't get help from God it was either me laying in my bed for days and never feeling good or me showing up to challenges and beating them 1 after 1. I was severe depressed, atleast thats what i was diagnosed with. You aren't obligated to become better, we love you the way you are. The question you need to awnser is, do you want a better life? if yes then take it ^^

  • @skoko_K
    @skoko_K Год назад +3

    Hello first of all I want to thank you for being strong and be leting others know they are not alone.. I’m 24, dropped out of uni after having bad time management on a foreign country… it sucks wish I had a goal something to love to do

  • @Giuvannuzzeddu
    @Giuvannuzzeddu Год назад

    The advice in this video is gold, logically organized and well articulated. Thank you for posting.

  • @eggman3845
    @eggman3845 Год назад

    this vid made me feel so good about myself and the path ive bin on, thank you for showing me that im doing better then i though

  • @aakashailajan
    @aakashailajan Год назад +6

    Stepping out into the world is my favorite point. It’s probably the most powerful way here to get out of a rut, to just go out, talk to anyone, admire nature, observe, breathe and let it all go. This is probably the most effective way for me. 💯💪🏼

  • @floord9902
    @floord9902 Год назад +4

    Hi, I usually never comment on videos but I have been loving your videos and they help me so much as I’m going through some difficult times. I come from a place full of anxiety and feeling bad about myself and your videos teach me how to take care of myself. As much as I love your videos, I also have anxiety deciding if I’m gonna click on them because the titels often have negative vibe around them, using the words ‘ruining your life’, ‘stop doing …’, etc. Maybe the titels are just confronting me with myself, but i do think the bad vibes of the titels don’t match the good vibes of the actual videos themselves. I just wanted to give you this feedback. Thank you for all that you do and I hope to continue to learn and grow from your content.

    • @betterideas
      @betterideas  Год назад +9

      Totally get it. It's always a tough balance, because due to negativity bias (a legitimate psychological phenomenon), people are far more likely to click on titles that tell them to stop doing a bad thing, rather than to start doing a good one. So if the content of the video itself is encouraging, but nobody watches the video, then nobody is encouraged. On the other hand, I typically like to spread out the negative titles a bit more, and the negative titles have been a bit more common recently, so expect happier titles for a while going forward :)

  • @geminijaguar7274
    @geminijaguar7274 Год назад +1

    Thank God you have a follow up video. I would've driven myself mad with despair from relating to the last video so hard but here you essentially say the same things but on the opposite side of the respective spectrum. This is life saving advice and I'm going to try my hardest to follow these steps.

  • @aprileve411
    @aprileve411 Год назад

    Just gotta say I love your videos and your genuine candid reactions. Thank you. I’m learning quite a bit from you.

  • @tintacometa1425
    @tintacometa1425 Год назад +9

    It’s funny how your last video had 1.7 million plus views and this one has about 300k views after two weeks, considering these are the steps to get out of those “ruts” or “bad habits”. It’s like people don’t want to get out of those. Like Alejandro Jodorowsky says that we’re in this cage that we created ourselves. But the door is open and we say that we want to get out but we don’t and the door is completely open. Great video. I will be working on myself a lot more. Last one hit a cord and this one is like a light at the end of the tunnel… or an open door to my cage. Thank you.

    • @HiiImChris
      @HiiImChris Год назад +2

      I agree, I often watch these and fail after a bit. I think we just need to accept it's going to suck, we need to stop being easy on ourselves and bailing out at the first encounter of uncomfortably

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen Год назад

      "Melancholy. The ache of doubt that stiffens to paralysis. Paralysis that breeds despair.
      This was once a place of refuge for you. But it has become a prison, a prison you constructed to protect yourself. From pain. From risk. From life itself. You are the architect."

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen Год назад

      @@HiiImChris I use this mantra when I sense that I'm slipping: "Your mind is fighting itself. It remembers the pain of life. It's trying to protect you from it. Keep going."

  • @michele2230
    @michele2230 Год назад +4

    I don't know if you're a religious person but I really appreciated the comment you made about the confession, also the fact of exposing your dark side verbally makes it clearer to yourself and allows you to fight it in the best way! Thanks for everything you do

  • @sydneya333
    @sydneya333 Год назад +1

    I have always thought that I knew myself pretty well and was very self aware, but I needed this video to help me realize that I am still a work in progress and that is okay. The things that I struggle with are: being optimistic, being vulnerable & taking risks. After starting a full-time position in Big Four Accounting, I have seen changes in myself, how I treat others, how I view life, etc. I have spent the past year obsessing over trying to be good at what I do (
    I still feel like I am clueless), but my overall happiness and well-being are invaluable and should not be sacrificed for a 9-5. I have avoided setting any personal goals for myself and have been living day by day, just rolling with the punches. I need a set concrete goals to achieve for myself and start doing things that make me happy. Thank you for this 😌

  • @mineway3765
    @mineway3765 Год назад

    Such a well made with so much research and absolute datas... Also it's so much detailed, reflecting some of the things happened with me too in my life...

  • @alexb5231
    @alexb5231 Год назад +4

    Step 3 really hit home. For years, I’ve been avoiding things whether it be because I’m scared or because of social interaction. Nowadays it’s talking to a girl I like. I’ve been putting it off for months because I’m scared of her rejecting me. But once Monday comes I’m going to walk in her office and strike up a conversation with her. I had the idea of making a little something ahead of time so it gives me a clear reason to talk to her and not just go in not knowing what to talk about. But my goal from now until next year today is to take more risks

  • @mjpm7888
    @mjpm7888 Год назад +457

    1.Have a goal and aim for it
    2.Step out of the cave
    3.Take risks
    4.Get out of your heard
    5.Produce more than you consume
    6.Welcome feedback
    7.Be vulnerable
    8.Embrace conflict
    9.No videogames
    10.Optimism

    • @maylabrown4584
      @maylabrown4584 Год назад +80

      Rule #9 is a No from me.

    • @bobobsen
      @bobobsen Год назад +61

      9. No Runescape

    • @mjpm7888
      @mjpm7888 Год назад +10

      @@bobobsen I thought this one was a very particular one so I decided to make it more generic, but you are right!

    • @moonlightfitz
      @moonlightfitz Год назад +7

      #10 is a nope.

    • @nvsreddy
      @nvsreddy Год назад

      Thanks man

  • @samirawlings1336
    @samirawlings1336 Год назад

    started a journal thanks to you. I'm hoping it'll help me work, keep organized, and stuff...

  • @fedeburni
    @fedeburni Год назад

    Have a great one in London, greetings from Argentina ! Thanks for the past few years of work; really enjoy that c:

  • @oliviam1589
    @oliviam1589 Год назад +4

    Sort of stream of conscious here but, it's so disappointing watching all of these videos and never applying the advice consistently. But what you've said about producing more than consuming is kinda what I needed to hear. No matter how many self improvement videos I watch, they'll never bring any real value into my life if I don't just start doing the shit I so desperately want to do. Anyways I appreciate your videos a lot and this one was beautifully shot and edited too, always love the color grade! Thanks Joey

    • @TheBswan
      @TheBswan Год назад +3

      You're not alone in that struggle. Go easy on yourself. Applying this advice is hard, and the fact you're seeking videos like this one out means you're on the right path.
      Part of why it's hard is the sheer volume of advice. Pick the one item that most resonates and focus on that above everything else. For me, exercise is a foundational habit. For you it might be working on a particular project. Don't try to change everything all at once

    • @oliviam1589
      @oliviam1589 Год назад +1

      @@TheBswan You're right, trying to do everything all at once is where it usually gets difficult. Focusing on one thing at a time is doable. Thank you and all the luck to you on your own process, bless you:))

  • @WaddleBlock
    @WaddleBlock Год назад +18

    I’m drawing WHILE listening to your videos, Joey! So I’m technically not wasting my time haha
    Also thanks for this, it’s good to be reminded to keep moving, despite feeling depressed and stagnant every now and then!

  • @busterkeaton5892
    @busterkeaton5892 Месяц назад

    One of the best self-improvement videos I have watched. Good work!

  • @wonderwithalys
    @wonderwithalys Год назад

    Hi! That video truly echoed and has been an eye-opener for me. Thank you so much, great work as usual! 🤗

  • @catatonicorca7956
    @catatonicorca7956 Год назад +5

    Two quotes that have gotten me through some tough times in my life:
    “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way” - Marcus Aurelius.
    “It is better to conquer grief then to deceive it” - Seneca
    Keep pushing through the fog, and eventually you’ll make it to your destination. Stay safe friends.

  • @steeal_wizzard4399
    @steeal_wizzard4399 Год назад +12

    Keep in mind that having goals doesn't just mean long term. It is important to balance between long and mid to short term, because if you pile on all these huge goals, it makes it really hard to make day to day changes. Make sure to appreciate the small accomplishments you make everyday.

  • @gera_eb2588
    @gera_eb2588 Год назад +2

    Just watched your video, it helped me because for the last days I was feeling a little down. I can always count on your videos to cheer me up. Inaction is a slow death and your advices help me be a protagonist in my own life not a victim. Keep going :)

  • @iseeten
    @iseeten Год назад

    Great video man. I’m really glad I decided to watch it while on the toilet. I feel like I have a habit of sometimes overlooking these videos since I’m just seeking distraction rather than improvement even though I tell myself I want to improve-it’s like I’m just robbing myself and digging a deeper hole even though I literally know what I need and should be doing. Anyways, thank you for this video, definitely going to be thinking about these points some more and doing my best to practice them!

  • @Wv-qk8hr
    @Wv-qk8hr Год назад +3

    Im a 15 y/o student in 11th grade and I had two weeks of holiday to do a video, read two books, make an oral presentation, do 4 text analysis, revise maths and physics, do geography exercises, prepare for an English essay and revise for a French test. I did nothing cuz I overthought too much about it and now I have Saturday and Sunday to do all that I feel super stressed and overwhelmed but in the end is all my fault cuz I procrastinated too much for nothing. Thanks to you now I’ll start do my homeworks earlier and with more efficiency

  • @Cafezinho-we8lq
    @Cafezinho-we8lq Год назад +9

    Parabéns meu amigo, seus vídeos alcançaram até a mim que sou brasileiro.
    Este conteúdo precisa alcançar mais e mais pessoas. ✨😁

  • @ButterStubs
    @ButterStubs Год назад +1

    Your editing is so good, especially the comedic breaks.

  • @kxittes
    @kxittes Год назад +4

    whoever searched this up, I hope things get better. I’m sorry.

  • @i_am_that_sink
    @i_am_that_sink Год назад +33

    *a tribute to those with my attention span*
    _(note: joey explains it way better)_
    - have a goal ☜⁠ ⁠(⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠)
    - step outside (touch grass)
    - take risks (no stonks)
    - get out of your head (dude)
    - produce
    - welcome feedback (thank u)
    - be vulnerable (emotionally)
    - embrace conflict (you're not a doormat)
    - don't play roomscape ಠ⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಠ
    - be optimistic :)

  • @keks7379
    @keks7379 Год назад

    Thank you so much! The title of your video made me curious while procrastinating (yes...) and I enjoyed the relaxed and even funny way you talk about that stuff. And may I say that I love the way you speak and pronounce, it's so pleasant for me as someone with only average English skills. Since I nodded intensely several times to what you depicted, I'm looking forward to more of your videos. Thanks again!

  • @CaptainCandycorn
    @CaptainCandycorn Год назад +2

    I couldn't have heard this at a better time. Over the last year I worked myself out of the worst mental health I've ever had. Anxiety and depression along with feeling like your life is going nowhere is a tough one, topped off by your long term relationship ending badly. I'm not a better, healthier person than I've been in the last 5 years but I've reached a point where I don't know what to do next, and this video has outlined that perfectly. It's time to move onto the next stage. First the goal was getting back to a healthy place, next it's time to blossom into the world.

  • @laurettadelmar2781
    @laurettadelmar2781 Год назад +3

    As a libra, it is very hard to actively create conflict, even necessary conflict. But I am going to make an active effort to create it when need be because the issues I raise will most likely benefit me and others in the long run. I’ve been working really hard on being more and more honest. And it really has been such a weight off my shoulders to do so. So I should probably add conflict into that. I know there’s something at work I need to speak up about and I will do it when the opportunity arises.
    I’m also going to set that goal you mentioned at the beginning. I really need to have something to work towards to give myself some kind of drive especially on my days off work. I think it’ll be to move out. I really want to get that independence. But I know I need to set smaller goals to reach that. Which I can do in my free time. I’m quite excited to get started

  • @Uzin3206
    @Uzin3206 Год назад +3

    I don't know what happening with me... One minute I am happy and the next, I feel broken 💔

  • @mohannedabudaia4829
    @mohannedabudaia4829 Год назад

    You are by far -in my opinion- the best in delivering these ideas that help people.
    Thank you so much , and may you have a wonderful life.

  • @cleonemusician217
    @cleonemusician217 Год назад

    This video is a pure GEM!
    It resonates strongly, thank you!!!

  • @TheWiseFoxSpirit
    @TheWiseFoxSpirit Год назад +4

    On #1, ive tried multiple time to look at what I want my life to look like. However, it always makes me depressed because I feel like I need to have a path I want to take (because of video/ social media constantly telling me I need to have one) but I cant find things I want to personnaly achieve. Most of the things people point to (gf, money, bigger muscle) to me are all external stuff and does not motivate me.

    • @TheWiseFoxSpirit
      @TheWiseFoxSpirit Год назад

      Phone won’t let me edit but I would like to hear others opinion on this and recommandation/ if they have similar experience. Maybe someone will say something that will change my mind/ make me reflect.

  • @Bruno87198
    @Bruno87198 Год назад +3

    About "producing more than consuming" makes total sense... If we watch TikTok videos, RUclips shorts on a great part of the day we don't feel good in the end of the day....
    But if we produce more than consuming, in the end of the day, we feel like "mission accomplished", with a great feel and proud.

  • @Unusualon60fps
    @Unusualon60fps 4 месяца назад

    i love this channel man ive only watched 2 vids and im so entertained, and you speak the truth, thank you

  • @natasharobertson5212
    @natasharobertson5212 Год назад

    Your videos are really resonating with me. Thank you!

  • @dcgreatman
    @dcgreatman Год назад +8

    *watches this while ruining my life*

  • @mattdale81861
    @mattdale81861 Год назад +13

    "Take risks"
    Me:"Buy crypto!"
    "Don't buy crypto"
    Solid advice lol

  • @steampunk2404
    @steampunk2404 Год назад

    Great video man
    i really like how you connected the your points with each other

  • @ThinkDreamBecome
    @ThinkDreamBecome Год назад

    The comment on feeling in flow state while scrolling insta, damn! I din realise that was the need it was meeting. Thank you! And getting out of your head before talking yourself out of the chore/task. Thanks again!

  • @YourThoughts.
    @YourThoughts. Год назад +14

    “Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress.”
    - Nicholas M. Butler