“We have no savings…but bought our kid a $500 toy”
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- Опубликовано: 25 мар 2024
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Elizabeth and Jonathan. They’re in their mid-thirties, married for 13 years, and share a young daughter. They bought a starter home after getting married, but expensive renovations are still underway. They struggle with debt and spend a lot on their child. They’re wondering-is this it?
Watch Part 2 with Elizabeth and Jonathan: • “We’re broke…but I spe...
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
New to your channel Ramit. Do you ever do follow ups to see how they are doing after being on your show? Just curious. Like the show.
*DONALD NATHAN SCOTT.*
Really liked this episode because it highlights the problematic mental gymnastics and passivity of so many adults!
It is irrational, relatable, and common. I have at least one relative who runs the same problematic mental playbook.
I hope they overcome this!
This is the lower income 30% of Americans mentality. This is why the richer 30% don’t want to pay taxes or help out. This is why they don’t want to raise minimum wages from 7$ to 15$. It literally doesn’t matter how much money you give some people they will spend every dime before their next paycheck and skip eating at the end of next month.
@@Playingwithproxiesyeah 😢
Ramit is so right about the idea of “deserve”
I had to check myself when he said that. I questioned certain decisions I made because I thought I deserved XYZ.
It’s such an interesting concept. Don’t we all deserve happiness? But where is the line? I just bought myself a new Kindle Scribe because it feels like I deserve a tool that will allow me to read and write more, which are two of my most favorite things in life.
I’ve held down a high-income job for 8 years now. I have emergency savings and retirement savings. So don’t I deserve that? Even if it’s expensive and sets my budget back a bit?
But do I “deserve” to blow a crap ton of money I don’t have on say for a vacation to Hawaii, even though that would make me happy? Absolutely not.
Definitely food for thought 🤔
@@Britt4880 I think it's more of a shift from beginning with the "deserve" mentality (which is also littered all over life coach Instagram pages) and beginning with earning the right to afford. Ramit cautions against a habit of getting things just because you "deserve" them - which as he said (20:36 for anyone reading) may be a result of ads or social pressure, and may result in the entitlement to things just because you feel like it getting out of control. Personally, the word "deserve" also sometimes feels vague and twisted to justify things like buying random things people can't afford.
In your case, you have a savings plan and extra money, so you can afford certain things with that extra money. This is what Ramit wants for you. But because he believes in personal responsibility, he doesn't want us to feel like we deserve things (especially things we can't afford) just because we exist.
I totally agree because where did the idea that we deserve ANYTHING come from? We were born into this world with nothing and are simply borrowing time and space here. Some would ask why we deserve anything in the first place, while others would say we have natural rights and entitlements to things, or a combination of both. I guess that's a more philosophical and possibly political question.
I deserve because I’m “middle class”. Man, the middle class is such a troublesome concept.
Q a@@Britt4880
“I try to help her around the house…. And make meals so we can eat…”
That’s not going above and beyond. That’s the basics of being a parent and husband and taking care of your household.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
As soon as I heard him say that I knew the ladies would kill him in the comments. Rightfully so.
I dunno this sounds like a very innocuous comment and not worthy of being called out, imo. They were talking about the division of the household work, and how she handles the financial stuff while he does other stuff such as cooking etc. Why is she allowed to say she handles the finances without being called out as "just doing what a parent is supposed to do"? This is just looking for something to pick on. Save it for the spouses who actually do nothing.
Yeah and he only said that in response to the fact that she works a lot of overtime. So if she "only" worked full-time 40h weeks, you wouldn't need to help out around the house??
@@4thand133 Because she doesn't phrase it like she's doing him a favor, she doesn't say "I try to HELP HIM for the finance", instead she just say she does side hustle and climb the corporate ladder to HELP THE FINANCE.
“I’m not gonna give up on you.” “Let’s do it.” So powerful.
I remember getting €50 as a gift for christmas.
Now I got 6 digits in the bank and struggle to decide whether a new iPhone is worth the money.
The problem with this type of management and kids is the parents say they're broke but they don't act broke so the kid doesn't believe it. "We can't afford it" means "I don't want to but you can nag and beg me into it"
I love how much respect you show to the people and the fact that they are so brave and show themselfs vulnerable in front of the public and share their story with us. I also appreciate that you show the individual, systemic and even political causes of poverty/moneyissues etc. Also really interesting point with the feeling of „lack if control“ and how this feeling can be learned over a childhood and keeps on affecting the adult life. Too much of these financial finance youtube channels are super harsh with the people, publicly blaming and shaming them with the idea, that they learn something out of it which sounds to me like some dark, military pedagogic which is actually hurting and ineffective and even countereffective as people try to soothe themselfes even more with old pattern learnt unhealthy behaviour to find some comfort in the well known familiar strategies like eating fastfood or shopping things.
Thank you. I'm so thankful to be able to show the complexity of what so many people face when it comes to money. Your comment means a lot to me
I always appreciate episodes with people actually struggling financially instead of the "we have $5 million and I just feel icky spending on this or that." I think wayyyyy more people can related to a video like this. Hoping for the best for this couple.
He seems to be having more of these types of relatable folk on his channel now. Previously he had alternated between high and low net worth couples each week.
I like the high earners as well. A different aspect of money psychology
I love both. I don't plan to stay in this position so variety is helpful
I think you’re mistaken, and you can actually relate to the psychology of both types of couples, without even realizing it. This show is about their thought processing around budgeting, not about the balance sheet
I like seeing people who have money on the show. Its shows the possibilities of earning… struggles is not what most people aspire to relate to.
Some changes in perspective should be made. If she applies her motto of “I will make it work” towards, maybe a 1K emergency fund for example, they will be able to make it happen. They were able to make it happen for the $500 pony and all the other stuff they mindlessly spend on. Why not apply the same mindset for savings? Treat savings as an important debt that needs to be paid for freedom, maybe they will be able to “make it work.”
Yeah, I'm hoping they can redirect this attitude that way and apply it to those positive areas.
Pay debt off? I can make it work
1K emergency fund? Hell yea, I can make it work
Exactly
My first thought as well! She figured out all the microloan apps, she will crush savings apps, and he will get on board and share the responsibility-
Nailed it.
It isn't the notebook or Dave Ramsey. It is their lack of discipline.
Stop blaming everything around you and look in the mirror.
One of the best gifts they can give their daughter is financial security.
I hope they can get a handle on their finances.
Agreed, they haven’t learned to say no to their kid or themselves.
It’s always easier to look at your blame list
@Hai-Nguyen91 sure. Then, zero progress is made.
Basket weaving 😮
Yeah this couple actually needs Dave Ramsey more than most couples on this show. His baby steps would turn their life around
The most interesting gems that I get from many of these stories is the way our culture has justified the use of credit cards. I am Gen-X and I remember growing up and my parents and grandparents did not even have credit cards. We didn't even think of spending money on so many things when we didn't have the money, but now, I see so many people who use credit cards all the time for everything and it is scary.
I'm German and didn't have a credit card until I was around 30. Now I'm 45 and I never had credit card debt.
I’m gen x too and still don’t have a credit card.
Same. My parents didn’t have them either. Just like many things, we’ve been suckered into thinking plastic debt is normal.
Yes, when we were kids the inflation of the 80's made credit cards an alternative to starving or keeping heat in the home during a cold snap if the heater broke. It was not something that was common, and the interest rates were high enough that people only used them when desperate. The culture has certainly shifted since then! They are common place.
I cut up my credit card about age 23. I had a very low limit on it but it just seemed like more admin and problems than not having one
As we neared the end of this episode, I worried there wouldn’t be a “part 2”. I think there is a lot to learn from this couple. Looking forward to hearing more of their story.
20 years ago we moved to MN from AR. The realtor called the house we bought a “starter home”. $300K and 2600 square feet. 3 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, an office and 2 car garage. How’s that a starter? We thought she was crazy!! I think that mentality was created by people who want to sell more houses.
Totally agree!
Yup. Houses just keep getting bigger and bigger and more expensive.
Yeah I’m still in my ‘supposed’ second home 🙄. M dil just said ‘starter home about their first home purchase 🙄. I’m going to die in this house….our American languaging 😑🙄
in germany we dont have anything like a "starter home". u usually buy a house and stay for the rest of your life in it.
buy a house with no money is so American
I wish you could send a comment of encouragement to the couple. I realized I was overspending like 3 months ago because when my mom died in February 2023 I was getting random checks in the mail from life insurance, etc, and when the checks stopped I didn't stop because I was sad about my mom. Ramit was right - listening to the underlying story is gutting. I wish them well!!!!
The wife is really is victim of the lack of financial literacy. like, incredibly impulsive, and no real strong will to save money. With Ramsey, sounds like she just read/took FPU and thought all their problems would be solved. but it still takes strong conviction from them to get out of debt. If they cannot learn to say NO to things they want, they will be in debt until the day they die.
Yeah…words with no action is a waste….
Watching this with my 8-year-old - she loves your Netflix show. I asked her how she describes her relationship with money and she said, "Good, bc I don't have to pay for anything" 😂😂 Then she continued, "Only for what I want. You pay for the house and everything else." (She has her own money to spend on things she wants. And we live in an apartment, just to clarify her "house" comment)
I love how you broke down the “deserve” statement. Keeping up with the Jones’ is a mentality so many of us fall victim to.
I have a friend who lived paycheck to paycheck and was substantially less well off than our other friends. She would go to the dollar store and buy 200 gifts for her kids. She thought the volume would make up for their poverty. She was shocked when she learned that all of her friends buy only a few gifts for their kids for Christmas. We spent the same amount of money, but got a few great gifts. She also spent hundreds of dollars every year on black Friday. Big gifts for aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. She was shocked when I told her we get nice gifts for grandparents but don’t give to cousins and aunts and uncles or our own adult siblings. We do a white elephant gift exchange. That’s it!
kids dont care. most kids will be find with a 1 dollar gift from the dolar store. its parents that make kids get attached to expensive things. I remember the new paw patrol movie came out and we took our 2yo to the store and asked him what he wanted and dude picked a 5 firetruck and a 2 dollar police car. my 8yo wants you to give him money so he can divide it up into his little budget and determine what he should spend on his robux. lil dude has learned to finesse his aunts, uncles and grand parents into giving him robux gift cards so he can have monthly robux all year round.
Ramit, I think I bought your book in 2009, and I know it helped me get where I am today! I didn't come here to just say that, though. I also wanted to tell you how impressed I am with your interviewing skills. I used to run a user research team, and you employ all of the interviewing techniques we use to get people to open up and really share their thoughts and experiences without us judging them. If I still had the team, I would tell them to watch some of your videos to see the master at work! 🙌
There is so much to learn from this episode. This was a great couple to analyze. I also like she is in therapy and is aware of her personal issues.
I’m so impressed by this couple being brave and taking responsibility for their mistakes. Thank you for sharing your story!
I have a miracle baby too but you do them a great disservice by never saying no.
The truck thing killed me. Dude is being taken advantage of and he doesn't even know it. I hope he goes to his job after this and gets what he needs.
he won't.
He didn’t ….bet…takes years to change one’s mindset 😏🙄
The best part of Tuesday morning 🙏
These people are not poor and have never been “dirt poor”. On top of that their parents help out a lot. They keep saying they’re poor and deserve everything. They need serious therapy and counseling to get out of that mindset.
My mom used to buy me things I knew we couldn't afford. When it got really bad, things would get returned to the store. I would beg her not to buy me things I really wanted because I knew there was no guarantee it wouldn't be going back a couple weeks later. It was harder to watch it go than to not have it at all.
6:29 Scary how he said this as if it's going the extra mile.
This seems like a nice couple, and I completely sympathize with feeling like you need a mental break from the relentless pressure of always just scraping by, so you have the occasional splurge. I think most families living paycheck to paycheck feel this way. But I think the degree of the splurge needs to be MUCH smaller. I grew up pretty low-income, and for us a big splurge was a family trip to McDonalds. As a kid it felt like a special night, just because we almost never ate out at ALL.
Obviously another issue, and one that comes up repeatedly on this podcast, is the desire to never say no to their kids. I get it, but it really doesn't help them or you in the long run. Kids can sense when the parents have money troubles, and it's stressful for them even if they don't articulate it.
This 100%! I don’t get why it’s so hard for people to say no to their kids. I have two kids so I know firsthand what it’s like when they ask for things.
Agree on the "little splurges" to help with the mental strain. I make self care a line item in my budget (a small one), so I can do things to take care of myself without hurting the budget. And it prevents burnout.
This is a hard one to watch so far - wishing this nice couple the best as they start to learn about personal finance with Ramit's help. They seem like a good team, if only they have the right tools.
I’ve never heard anyone say their comfort zone was being on the edge of bankruptcy paying half their bills every month. It’s unimaginable that this would be comfortable to someone. And crazy cause if you didn’t like having a paycheck in your bank account you could spend it at the drop of a hat and be right back to your comfort zone.
Your comfort zone is right on the edge of major crisis.
It was very self aware of her to admit that she’d rather stay in her chaotic comfort zone than to make changes.
It's DENIAL.
Things don’t create memories for your daughter. Time matters.
I am so glad we gave simple gifts, used nature centers and hiking trails,martial arts and church meetings, adopting stray pets.... We cooked nutritious quality meals.....We skipped Disney ( living in Fl). They bought their own gameboys, computers and phones ( at a later age than most kids) with birthday money and their own earnings.
The kids, now adults under 32 , wealthier, are seeking nature trips, rich experiences. 2 have bought lovely homes. They live well, but still go thrifting!
Sounds like they expected their life to unfold magically based on what media/culture tells them…. Without them actually having to work and plan for it. A “starter” home, buying a truck when they couldn’t afford it, the passivity of feeling like things happen to them instead of it being the consequence of their action/inaction. You can’t just “work hard” and expect it all to magically unfold into a beautiful life for you. They need to become active participants in their own life and MAKE decisions, not just left things run over them and use it as an excuse
Interesting to me how many women are responsible for the bills and money management on this show. I am the money manager in my house as well. Curious on the % of women Ramit works with who are the money managers…
Minimum wage and bought a house? Could that be the start of their problems? I hope they find the freedom they're looking for.🙏🏾
They could afford it 13 yrs ago. Now, they would be renting if they are lucky. Times are different
It's also Indiana. I lived there from 2004-2008. My brand new 2 story 2000 sq foot house new house in 2005 was $99k. The payment was $850 per month, including taxes and insurance.
@@michellegreen1072 people are being brainwashed to think you need to upgrade your house as you go.. much like a car/phone to switch it out every few years. Then, downgrade as you get older. I am in the camp of one and done, get a moderate house, squeeze the heck outta of the place and invest everything else. A house is just a utilitarian thing, a place to live in. No need to bust your butts paying $3k mortgage, working 60-70 hours per week to barely use the house and call it an asset. You are basically working just to pay the bank loan interest.
@@michellegreen1072 thats insane lol
@@Dan16673 $850 / month and household income was $100k+. It was a great deal.
I'm always surprised when folks say they "deserve" things. Needs and wants seem the two viable categories, and wants only come to fruition after all needs, including investing in one's savings and investment accounts, have been met. The daughter got the big bulky hover horse toy because her mother felt that she deserved it.
My brothers were creative. They didn't have money for expensive action figures but it made them create their own. Nothing to bow over but seeing their ideas become real is great.
Hmm they are aware of overspending on silly things, I understand they want to treat the kid to nice things now, but the kid will appreciate more that they saved for their or her future ... Once the kid grows up and her parents are in debt or struggling it will be extremely stressful on her. Talking from personal experience...
Exactly,, and the kid would rather have calm contend parents than spoiling stressed parents
@@dorahmulinge3800 yes! Physical things in the end are not important as much.
Start the kid a college fund and show her the balance every month. This should motivate her and help her save.
Dad bought two tractors from my cousin for $500 because he was desperate for money. Next day he bought his great nephew the Lego Optimus Prime ($180). No money, lot of debt, no retirement, no plans. Been working for 40 years.
Bro, he's got an optimus prime though. 😂. Who needs money when you got that?
😢
Really great episode. I appreciate the trust and vulnerability from both sides in these discussions. This is tough stuff. I've had my own issues with debt after college and I know what it is like to spend each day wondering how bad it could get. Our culture drives overconsumption but we do make our own choices in so many ways.
Elizabeth, fellow Hoosier here. We have such similar stories and I am here rooting for you.
I just wanted to say that I love this story, especially the husband's parents who seem like amazing people, especially as in-laws. ❤ I'm glad this couple is seeking help for their financial freedom. I like them and wish them the best. Rooting for you guys!
My granddaughter got a note pad, crayons, paints and colored pens. Wealthy parents, grandparents aunts and uncles. TOYS are usually played with for a day and then thrown aside. The library is free and way more meaningful than a plastic pony. I grew up poor and never knew it. The message I got was we are enough. You are enough. Parks and libraries are free.
I like how Ramit just listens and asks questions and doesn't beat them down. Like I'm good at finances, but if I had someone teach me how to organize my clothes (not my strong suit) I would hope they would talk to me this way rather than the more common shaming talk that you hear
I really appreciate how honest and open this couple has been. I learned a lot, so thank you for participating.
Somebody please explain to me this philosophy of “spend it now, we don’t know if it will be here tomorrow” many of these guests hold. It has to be the ultimate cop out. Where exactly do they think the money will go if they don’t spend it now? It’s not a relationship with money that they get from their parents (as Ramit would suggest), it’s an excuse that people use to avoid critical thought. I wish Ramit would push back harder on those parts of the episodes.
In one month the daughter will be over the pony and on to the next "want". They will be $500 poorer with a pony in their living room. I hope these folks can break free of the impulsivity and passivity. As an occupational therapist, I would see this behavior in practice all of the time....just in a more physical way.
500 dollars on 1 toy is indeed a hell of a lot. Wow. 'I will make it work.' Getting a loan for a toy is not 'making it work.' But I guess these people know that by now.
I love this couple! I am impressed by the way this woman does have insight, they will be successful!!
Lots of people have insight but never change their behavior 🙄
I love this show! Every episode is a must watch for me.
This is the classic case of why bad debt is a trap and it is so hard to get out of. Sure they overspend and don’t always make the right choices - but this wouldn’t be such a pitfall if they didn’t have those huge payments
10 minutes in, I want to see their budget. I know their is a lot of waste
Exactly - either that or they have a huge income problem that they won’t address either
@@alexisballard1459I’m guessing 40% is just wants and vehicles that their company should be supplying or subsidizing 😅 but I guess we can find out next week.
18 minutes in, I fast forward to see the CSP 😑 Gotta wait til next week
*there* not their
Ooooh oldest of the sisters baggage too, I suspect- held to an even higher standard as the “example” to younger sisters, spoken or unspoken - just that pressure always there to rebel against as a kid and young adult.
Hope they find ways to get to where they want to be. It’s possible! I speak for many that we are rooting for you both!
I wonder if the desire to rebel could be harnessed into rebelling against expectations or norms that don't serve them -- that kind of reversal sometimes helps me, and the way she described rebelling against their plans got me wondering. YMMV of course, just had me curious and I wanted to share it can sometimes be a useful tool/POV!
This episode is so relatable to many in rural America i feel. I'm rooting for them 💪
Really?
Just don't buy non-essentials (presents are definitely a non-essential) and go for a walk with your family. This would dramatically change these peoples lives.
I worry about them. They're still relatively young, but with their fitness level major medical expenses are just over the horizon.
This poor girl was raised in shame & this is what the adult version looks like
I wanted to see the pony.
Jokes aside, I saw a lot of myself in this scenario. Thanks for your transparency and insight. I wish you financial wholeness.
I wonder if her side hustles were MLMs
100%
That's a good way to boss babe your way to the poor house
I assume yes. Just driving them further into debt.
I hope not.
@@Q.b.9378really sad 😢
What a nightmare, wouldn't it be great if there was no credit available
Cant believe you make us wait for part 2
This is just cruel
Our economy would fall
people would starve to death, assuming you mean no credit/loans. no cars, which means you can't get to work, can't get money to buy food... or a lot more crime (stealing a car to get to work). honestly IMO the bar for a driver's license is so low for this reason... risk more car deaths in order to prevent starvation. I got a license in one state that didn't expire til I was 65 and they didn't even test my vision. in other states, I've had to be able to correctly identify one giant letter. then these days, down payments for cars are often on CCs. add in no CC debt leading to very limited stock market growth, so the disciplined people wouldn't get as rich, very few people would be able to buy a house outright, fewer luxury cars would exist, on and on and on. anyway, this could be a very long conversation, depends if credit had never existed, or if it suddenly ceased to exist.
@@awb19892 No credit cards would also be the end of entrepreneurship/small start-up business. It's impossible to get a Commercial Loan for any kind of business without having a few years of proven profitability (via Federal Tax Returns/etc.).
Back in the 80s and 90s credit cards were not so common as they are how. I remember my parents used to use lay-away at stores to pay for Christmas gifts and only paid a small fee for it. People borrowed from friends or family when they were in a pinch. Now, people have multiple credit cards and spending can get out of control.
I look forward to Tuesdays 6am est 😊 #iwtytbr
I'm confused about the Klarna/pay in 4 payments. I use it sometimes for purchases and I've never paid interest. If you pay on time it doesn't charge you a single penny. Even if you forget a payment, once you pay asap (within a day or 2), they still don't charge interest. So how late are they making payments that they are being charged interest? Unless they operate differently in the USA?
They probably don’t finish the payments on time
Oof, it seems like their despair over finances has led to them to disengage as a cope.
I'm planning to switch to cash for my weekly spending due to overspending. I wonder if that would be a good guardrail for her as well. Debt free with 3 month EF and fully funded roth but still struggle with overspending. It doesn't go away. You have to address it!!
Great episode so far Ramit, made the hour fly by! I want more!!!
I don’t understand why she can’t see, going into debt for one class could possibly change their financial future.
Didn't I hear her say her degree was in Library Science and the jobs are basically obsolete now?
I wish Ramit hadn't just let this go. You already have $50k in debt, why not another $1k for ONE SINGLE CLASS so you can have a degree and kind of make the debt worth something! Right now it's worth nothing to her!
Librarian here, we are NOT obsolete or extinct. 🙄 Not sure if she was going for an AS,BS (unnecessary for library work) or MS. An actual librarian has an MS, but the market is flooded so the pay is terrible for the investment and a lot of places are only part time! I think she can wait on the degree & hopefully some loan forgiveness comes her way.
@@JenJenANDChrissyJust having a degree can open the door to other opportunities.
So much kindness and empathy in the episode. So little in the comments.
It sounds like his parents are enabling their irresponsible spending. There is no way that we would help our adult children with bills if they were spending frivolously. I mean a $500 toy! Maybe her spending gives her immediate gratification but she needs to learn to look at long-term. I used to be a big shopper myself but I shifted my mindset to meaningful purchases.
I hate when people say starter house. There’s some of us who’s priced out and can’t even get in one
I get that.
Exactly. There’s no such thing as a starter house. Just a house you buy that you can upgrade later on if the financials are great. But strictly an American falsehood
100% the idea of a “starter house” is gone. So many of us (myself included) are completely priced out.
In the midwest, a starter home is still attainable in many small communities. It will need renovations and it won't be "on the right side of town".
@@rhondavigil795 in small communities is the key point. I’m in the Midwest, there’s nothing around me for less than 250k at least and it’s run down. The taxes alone are more than rent in my area.
Great ep - but almost 10 minutes of ads in a sub 60min episode... too much
Yeah that got rough. I'm smashing to skip 10 seconds 30 times and still stuck in the ad
Don’t watch it.
I agree. I never buy any of the products that any RUclipsr talks about.
I'm not a fan of ads, but what I appreciate here is that Ramit is doing the ad, not using the automatic monetization options that interrupt the video with irrelevant ads.
@thewriteplaceforme6874 simultaneously wish they were less informercially. Conan's podcasts do these ads and the ads are hilarious / exaggerated praise.
I really relate to this episode and their dynamic in their marriage. It is very similar to mine. Being the wife and the person who has multiple jobs and concerned with finances I understand their struggles.
Great episode. Hope for the best for this family.
I feel like the society we live in makes us confuse about wants vs needs. And then makes us feel bad when you get into debt to pay for wants we think are needs. Be the captain of your own ship. Take back the control. No is a complete answer! Great episode 👍🏾
Yeah it does…especially when you watch all those tv commercials….shoes phone cars…etc 🙄
Ramit, great job on your discussion about what we deserve and what we want. 👍🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
The best gift you can give any child is a stable home. Financial responsibility leads to financial stability, which leads to a more stable relationship between the parents, which benefits everyone in the household. I'll bet you a donut that child would trade that fancy pony toy for happier, less-stressed parents all day long.
Love the show but way too many sponsorships, especially for a show geared towards helping people taking control of their finances.
Doing so much for the company but the company is using them for their passion. Helping people.
“we were dirt poor” immediately followed by “we had just bought a house” ….i mean you can’t be anymore time deaf
Girl, you seem to be very intelligent! I’m certain you’ll be able to get on top of things!
I really appreciate this podcast however I really wish he could start doing episodes solely for single people . Everyone doesn’t have a boyfriend, husband , partner or family that can assist with their financial struggles.
I'd recommend you join iwt.com/moneycoaching. I do live Q&A there with lots of single people as well as people in relationships.
congrats on 500k
Great video and love hearing about these real life stories. As someone who is recently married a question I am thinking now is when to have kids. Having them earlier than average would be hard at first but would allow you to enjoy wealth when you are younger without dependent kids. Or do you wait until you have some decent wealth but then your 40 50 60s will be restricted in terms of wealth and freedom because of dependent kids. Thoughts and comments would be welcome!
I would also consider whether or not you want to have kids at all. Your question seems focused on the period when you don't have kids and how much money you'll have at that point. If that's the priority, no kids is worth considering.
Considering compound interest im thinking the earlier you build wealth the better
What does freedom mean to you? Do you like traveling or do you just mean going out on a Thursday night with friends? I was married at 25 and had my first at 30 but I wouldn't say that I spent the last 5-10 years "wealthy" bc I was child free. If anything, I have more disposable money, savings and investments now with a child than I did at 27.
I grew up in a household with both parents working at a boys boarding school. It wasn't a posh one just a boarding school for boys with disabilities and behaviour issues. They were house parents for 18 boys and dad was in charge of the wing in the main house of boys, the dorm i mean. We lived in a small flat with one bedroom and my sister and I slept in the dining room before my dad got permission to knock into the derelict cottage nextdoor and. downstairs. We were able to make the top floor of that cottage as an extra 2 rooms. So we ended up with 3 bedrooms. My sister and I shared a room there as they used the old one as a spare room and as an office. We knew that our parents couldn't afford certain things so we knew that we could ask for gifts for Xmas that we wouldn't get the bigger more expensive item. Dad would make us a farmyard set, a dolls house and a Sindy house in different yrs. Which was amazing and more special than expensive toys. As he is a carpenter as well. He taught the boys how to fix cars, carpentry and outdoor activities. It took 9 yrs of living at the boarding school before they were able to afford to buy a house. My mum then was self employed as a peripatetic music teacher. That helped and then dad stayed working at the school for a few yrs before he became self employed as well after being redundant when the school couldn't afford to stay open. Dad was a mechanic and carpenter. He just does carpentry now. My parents gave us what they could but said no if our choices were too expensive. We did camping trips and cheap day trips rather than expensive holidays. We went to France twice in our childhood. They had people babysit us when they were working long hrs. So we were staying with friends when they had to take the boys home. They couldn't afford to pay people that often so would use friends parents to help. Giving them a bit of money for our food. It took a long time for them to be able to do up the house and build an extension. It doesn't matter though as they did improvements when they could. Making a 2 bed cramped house into a 3 bed house. It still doesn't have much storage but it's fine. They own it now after being part owners of it. You have to tell your kids no to some things, don't give them everything on thier list of gifts otherwise later down the road you all suffer. That expensive toy won't always be used as much. Quality time and more special gifts will mean much more than expensive gifts. I was sad that my parents couldn't afford to give us any kind of games console so my fiancé gave me a console last year for Xmas and im 42. It means more now as it's something I couldn't have with my parents and I love the gifts they bought or made for us. I appreciate it so much what they gave us and did to give us quality time and experiences. In the end I understood that my parents gave us what they could and wasn't depriving us or being mean. They just couldn't afford it and were careful not to get into financial trouble. Not overspending or being impulsive.
Although they were only able to help my sister go to university. I couldn't afford to pay for it alone so I went to the lower price college, not university level. I never got to get a degree at all because my sister had the money talk with my parents before I could get the chance when it should have been me 1st as I'm the oldest. She beat me to it as I was getting ready for university interviews and getting my portfolio ready. I was scared to ask them as I knew they were struggling then. She gets whatever she wants from them so they said yes immediately so I never got to get help to go to uni. That pushed them to their financial limit. As the school dad got made redundant from messed up his retirement fund so he had much less than it should have been. So he has had to work much longer to make up for it.
How refreshing to hear Elizabeth be so appreciative of her in-laws.
I'm frustrated more than anything this week, same as Ramit.
Hoping for some sort of resolution in pt.2
People think buy expensive toys will make their kids happy. Most kids like that will be spoiled and had horrible financial life just like their parents. I had a great childhood playing with mud pies making my own kites and socks baseball.
You are 100% right about this whole "deserve" thing.
@ramitsethi Stop playing and release part 2! 😩🤣
Would love to see some follow ups from this show, same couple 2 years later or so - is that something you ever do?
😔 this episode just broke my heart. She is so overwhelmed.
It would be “nice to change”
But they don’t need to change. They are rich for any other standards. He grew up in a farm owned by his parents that pay for his education. These guys are not poor. Having not to worry about money is being rich
💯
28 years in the current home (always renovating and repairing) NOT A BAD THING!
Omg $500 could have funded the entire Christmas for everyone. Smh
Her outlet is "clothes", yet her closet is full of dull gray jersey from Target. Sad.
This man has checked out!
LMNT is overpriced... you can save a lot of money by taking in potassium & magnesium, and sodium (salt) in other ways. Will it make or break you financially at the end of the day? No, it shouldn't. However, for what it would cost me to supplement LMNT in a month I could get a year's worth of those supplements even cheaper, then add salt to whatever it is that I'm already drinking. Sorry, I normally don't go on rants, but as someone who has been in the health and fitness industry for a long time, and has coached international level athletes - there's so much junk people want to supplement vs. doing it a cheaper way or through nutrition.
I don’t think deserve is a bad word I think people have too low of standards for what they deserve. You don’t deserve anything that cost more than the number in your bank account and you might be working harder than every ceo and every top level manager. But you deserve something when you set aside the money or the budget to make the purchase.
Sale the 500 dollar toy. Guarantee their child isn't playing with it anymore. Both need to sit down and do their finances together not one person knows everything about where the money is going and the other only knows "I'll make it work"
Is anyone else here curious about what Rhamit would think of Caleb Hammers show? I feel like they do similar things, but one feels way more toxic. Lol. Love Caleb Hammer, though I consider his show like the potato chips of finance. It may not be the most productive, but it sure as hell feels good to consume ha ha.
Nah, the thumbnails told me enough to stay away from that.
Caleb is usually trying to hammer reality into his guests thick skulls. Half the time he doesn't seem to be loud and shrill enough to get through.
Ramit is much more experienced. Caleb is engaging, and is reaching a different audience. Lots of room in the space😁
Calebs show is the toxic drama version of personal finance. It also feels to me that Caleb isn't happy himself doing this stuff. He is just doing with the algorithm rewards to get the big bucks quick. I prefer how Ramit is truely taking the time to make people understand themselves. Instead of just generating drama for views.
I used to like Caleb’s show, but I don’t think he really knows enough about finance or psychology to really help guests. It’s clickbait. Yelling at people doesn’t make them change. On this show the guests are asked thoughtful questions that get to the root of the issues.