He is damn right. I fought with my parents, tried to change them, please them, every time I ended feeling worse. If there's little bit of goodness in them , they will never treat their children badly. They are toxic, so stay away from them
Me too and however the l try to avoid them they'll be there and compare me with the millionaire and a perfect kid that doesn't exist and they even try to force me to do things l don't want to and it'll always happens almost every single day.
My mother in all terms. I sometimes wonder why can't I have a mother who just understands me and laughs with me ?why cant I have normal conversation with her, without having the fear of getting judged. I miss having a mother as the world say mothers are.
When i see all these comments I realise there’s a lot of us who are facing this issue and i think there’s no way you can change them what’s best is find a good opportunity for yourself and get out of the house
I ran away 2 years ago and it was the best decision I could have done. Feeling now better than ever and I don‘t have to feel guilty for things I like and do :)
Good on you. May god help you. I also ran away but got back due to some other stranger pleadings, with the involvement of outsiders, the abuse got lowered
Omg tell me how you did it? I can’t leave because of my sisters, cats, money, it’s all a mess. But I’ve been thinking of just getting on a greyhound bus and start somewhere. I’m so scared but I really hate it here
@@abhishek_Gaming5056How to deal then? Indian culture is very bad. And people defend it and hate western culture as if its the worst. Only people like us can relate.
My way is get away from them. That's what I did. If you can't get away and go live somewhere else, then lower your expectations of them and don't tell em shit.
My father is so pathetic, he shows off how supportive he is, but he uses so many hurtful words , to make me feel down. He thinks himself as Google, and everything and everyone are wrong. He doesn't support and care for me. He forced me to pursue something else instead of following my dreams. Because of him I have been facing PTSD since last 5 years. I did all the mistakes that you said because I was so stupid to believe him. I hate him most in the whole world.
It happened to me and lots others, you're not alone. But try to study hard and then get job as early as possible. Then with one click, BOOM you're outta that fcking parents
Being an elder this is what happens v me even after pleasing and trying to keep my parents happy.. Im just waiting for me to be financial independent and leave the home 😢
The only thing that you can do, is to heal yourself, love yourself and support yourself, be independent so you can grow, and be that good parent yourself.
Think of it this way, only 4 more years until you’re 18 and you are an adult. In the meantime if you are finding ways to stay away maybe try to join an after school club or sport or read books to keep your mind off of things going on at home and tutoring is another way to be able to stay away from home.(if your school allows it) in the meantime just know there are others out there going through the same and you are destined for greatness in the future. You’ve got it and keep going even when it’s hard.
Forget it. It's not for us now. All the glorification, the world does about mom's, it does not apply to us. There're other better role models out there. As he said, don't try to change her. She will never change. My brother is 28 years old single. Our mom uses up almost 90% of his salary. He doesn't even have savings to buy a vehicle for him or for his marriage or well-being. Everyday we only have dinner nothing else. Dinner's at 10PM everyday and it's only rice everyday.
Told my mum she’s hurt me a lot. Thought it would help if I let her know. I got yelled at and called ungrateful and given the silent treatment until I apologised
i totally resonate with this. i feel like im never gonna be able to communicate with my mom properly. i also get yelled at and get called ungrateful and it hurts. im always the one that's to blame and its honestly really frustrating and it always tears me down~ but this is to say that ur not alone and its hard but im here if you ever want to talk
very relatable.. I used to be close to my mother until the age of 11 when I may or may not have made a rift in our relationship. ever since then it has gotten worse. I'm glad I have my father though. My mom yelled at me today and said she didn't care about my feelings and that she would make my life hell... she also said I have no reason to be miserable, sad, or have such thoughts... She already makes my life miserable, I have so much anxiety when I'm around her I hide myself in my room. I don't hate her but don't exactly love her, there isn't a word to don't how I feel about her.only 3 more years until I'm finally free.
@@abbyb764This is like my mother but instead since I don't talk to her about my feelings much. She dismisses it like I never said anything in my whole entire life. :/
What hits you hard is when you finally realize how your parents have been. When you finally realize they have been toxic towards you all your life. Even if its in a subtle way. Its hard to want to believe your parents would be this way
@@mml3888 its still something thats hard to overcome because our inner child just wants their approval. I know thats my case. Ive basically felt invisible most of my life. I felt unimportant or just there to help others. Ive been made to think I’m not good enough from basically when I was in 1st grade. Sadly I made a lot of life choices based on how I can make my parents proud of me. I wasn’t living for myself. My parents have their own issues that they never dealt with and I was the middle child. Sadly it hasn’t been just my parents that have been toxic towards me. I have had cousins and uncles as well. Hell even one of my brothers. Its been really hard to come to grips with. Looking back at my life and childhood. I was really saddened by it and borderline depressed. Realizing that my whole life ive never really had one person that really had my back or want whats best for me. Or even cheers me on. Ive never had it. But I realized that all this has turned me into this person that i am today. I love who I am. It was meant for me. It didn’t happen to me it got to happen. I know what true love really is because my whole life I have never seen it or had it.
He speaks the truth. I've ALWAS failed to accept that I have an unpleasable parent. Truly negative humans will see their world through their own negative eyes & negative viewpoints. Can't change this. Time to limit exposure & reinforce boundaries.
I hate my dad, he is so narcissistic self absorbed and so toxic, it's absolute hell living with a father especially who has been toxic to their daughters. Truly evil and disgusting
Thank youu so much U have no idea how badly I needed this .. All I have ever done in my life is love my parents but in return I got curses, hate , discouragement nothing else ...I am only 15 right now and I am dealing with really bad stress ...Well today I promised myself that I will never be like my parents NEVER !!!!!! If ever god blesses me with a child ,I will raise that child giving all my love , care and I will do anything for that child ....😞😞😞😞 I WILL NEVER GIVE THAT CHILD A PAINFUL CHILDHOOD LIKE I AM HAVING RIGHT NOW .. MY PARENTS DIDNT CARE ABOUT MY STRESS, THEY DIDNT CARE ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS IN DEPRESSION , THEY NEVER MOTIVATED ME FOR MY DEAMS ...BUT I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE ,I LOVE MYSELF HOWEVER I AM , WHATEVER I WILL BE IN FUTURE
Same here im alws dreaming for a girl child ....i wil treat her like i alws wanted to be ...i .will give her full freedom to choose her carrer,,,and will alws support her like guide
I have a living environment that is not good for me. I'm just praying to god that one day, i'll free myself from my parents. As i work for independence, may god bless my days with patience until that day comes. For those who are going to the same as me, i wish all the best. We're not alone. We have each other. Let's work hard 💪🏽 ya'll
Idk why after knowing also it's useless to try to change them I try to change them thinking they are my parents they can understand my feelings. In result I only receive tears.
Damn I needed this, my parents always break promises and lie, they think it’s funny when I cry, they laugh at me for things I feel confident in, they embarrass me infront of friends and only when friends are over, I don’t feel comfortable with them or telling them anything cuz they say “no, your favorite color is pink and will always be pink” WHEN PINK IS MY LEAST FAVORITE 😭😭😭
Bro my mom be getting mad for such small things like bro she asked me to help her find her charger I couldn’t find it and she called me stupid retarded and no good over a charger like come on and she try’s to act tough by making me look bad in-front of her friends or she smacks me cussed me out for a laugh out of her friends
"Have an exit plan" way ahead of you lol iv two tents and a sleeping bag on the ready..so close to just booking it out of here..my whole family is toxic
I'm currently going through this, an extremely narcissistic father who never respects me, always putting me down, he thinks giving me food and shelter is a luxury which I'm getting (I wasn't born out of thin air and other parents don't give their children hay straw to eat), he always belittles me, never satisfied with anything I do, doesn't accept his mistakes and if I talk back he threatens me with physical violence and to remove me from the house.
this is so similar to what i'm going through too... i hate feeling trapped living with toxic parents because my mom says hurtful things to be all the time and never remembers the things she says or the impact it has. she constantly tells me that im ungrateful because she provides me with a roof and food and i never feel like im good enough and if i ever talk back she screams at me to leave the house and that everything is my fault
Then assert them, make it not worth their while to step on your boundaries, give them a reason not to, if you don't give in and maintain your reactions they'll leave you alone eventually
the way my parents changed drastically the day i got married will be the mystery of this lifetime for me, home doesn't feel like home anymore, moving out seems to be the best option now for all our sakes
That's right! Several years ago when I was like 18 - 22 my parents could not believe that I was a young adult and I was growing up. So every time I would try to change them it would come back at me 10 times harder. So, what I did is not give a shit.
@@BEAST_69 It sounds easy. But it's not impossible. I am 22. I wanted to move out and do job after highschool but my single mother insisted so hardly on me to complete a four year college degree. I had no other sensible adult to guide me through it. I got admission in a better college which was far from my home but mom said I cannot take your expenses. So you will only study in here local college. You see the trap?
@@kunal2464exactly the same thing my mum is doing to me. I plan to leave though. Infact, I will leave then I’ll send her a long nasty message then block her and travel to another state
@@kunal2464same here I always thought to ran away from my home and stay in hostel but due to high hostel fees I am studying here in local clg and my degree is of 4.5 yrs I don't have any options rather to stay here I am 21
And five don't wait that they will apologize in front of you. They don't kill themselves guilty they think that you are guilty and they will never say sorry.
I block my mom to avoid all the hurtful messages and she reaching out to my husband insulting us now . He now blocks her too. It’s so sad, we never reply to her toxic messages. It angers her more
@@shilpa577 Currently in the same situation, except there is a shortage of jobs in my location. I have been struggling financially and can’t afford to escape. It’s so stressful!
@@reyr.7439 Even if there's shortage of jobs. You can very easily find at least a low-paying job which will cover your living and food expenses. That's what I will be doing right after my undergrad which will end in 10 days. I will move far away from my hometown.
@shilpa577 fight for your freedom, please don't give up, Pray and ask God for strenght to face your mom and to overcome her toxicity and build a better life for yourself. There's always hope even a small window of Hope, just believe and you see the way out. ❤
Thanks Sir I'm having immense pressure and mental breakdowns because of my mother. I often think she treats me like a product and not a human. It's a long time for the exit plan but once I exit I will never be har son
This made me cry BECAUSE I know it's true but the thought of other people feeling like I do hurts. That said this man seems pretty healthy and that gives me hope. I'm so so hopeless rn. Life looks so bleek and bland and nothing brings me joy everyone I have ever loved has hurt me.
Yes dear , same situation here. Husband , in laws and my own parents everyone is taking turns to abuse and hurt me. No wonder I'm this sick and housebound. My life is hopeless and bleek too. Never ever felt this depressed in life.
I wish i could do this...m girl frm india....i cant run away... u knw girls aint safe in this cruel world....i too want to walk away in another room she chases me there also..she keep fighying arguing telling me harsh words she makes me cry for 2 3 hrs eveyday...
@@shilpa577 try to secretly get help from other close relatives. Don't run away in India, it's full of bad people. But better let your local leader or politician know your problem, they may send some family official to deal with your parents
they make me see no reasons to live,always make me feel like the bad one in every situation,they always treat me like am still a child and shouldn't have an opinion of my own or mind of my own,they always tell me am ungrateful.Worst of all mom uses all my secrets against me and they love misinterpreting every situation in my life,l always feel useless and unwanted.l get insulted always with the things they offer me,l feel like a big bounding to them.l pray God blesses me some day and take away this heavy pain in my heart
My father relates to everything in this list. No. 9 and maybe 10 sums one such example, there were two slices of cake in the fridge ( I brought one cake for myself from starbucks and the other cake was a free cake from a hotpot restaurant that we ate at for my father's birthday ), my father ate my starbucks cake. When I told my father that he ate my cake, instead of just saying sorry, he proceeds to lecture me and gulit rid me by saying things like "I have to stop it with that mentality" and "I paid for the food, the rent etc." I know its just cake and I know this doesn't compare to the stories shared in this section but small things like this really frustrate me.
You are correct...I wanna move out when I grow up...also I'm the only child.. there's no one to look after them..I feel bad but at the same time I wanna heal..I don't know what to do
So so true...i want to share something because it just feels overwhelming. My parents recently in about 6 to 7 months...always fight. Every day they will say something provoking to each other.. and also insult them in bad way...i as a child alone can't bear it anymore...i started reading wattpad because it was the only escape and it almost became a habit. I don't know what to do, what ever i do is less...these days, i get angry, sad so frequently...as an average student when i think i did much better then earlier, i get happy but my parents one sentence "so you made mistakes" and the face expression make me scared and sad at the same time...i feel like if i do one thing wrong then also they will be unhappy.... No peace and no one with whom i could share... Even my choices are changing...i no longer read fun books or anything but i don't know what is the condition of my hurt but i like to read abuse stories....because it makes me feel connected...
12 years old had to admit to myself that my "Mother" didn't love me and that she was exactly like my narcissistic grandfather and that I would never have a loving mother or normal childhood and that wasn't my fault. I live everyday trying to not become like her or to become a victim to someone like her again.
Escape from your comfort zone. You need to convince yourself that you have the necessary skills to do or accomplish something. This makes you motivated to look for opportunities to grow and exit toxic parents. Learn new skills and find a job.
I oftenly overshared things that I'm experiencing to them, and as I'd expect they will use it as a backfire if i did some atomic mistake, When they do that I'm always so afraid for what the result of my plan might ended up, because in my religion parent will and pray is a very strong spell, I'm afraid that my plan will fail miserably, but I always remember some internet stranger have said to me it sounds like "The god is at an absolute higher position than your parent, so if you so sure about what you're up to, just give it all to god" and ever since then I almost never have any problem with my plan, even after I got some beef with my parent. Just rely on god for everything because he's the only one who's fair and in the end your parent is just human.
You're right, and I have a toxic older sister as well. I just wanted them to Always love me. I've been in a vulnerable state since I lost my first and only child, 5mths later I lost my father to covid, 1 month after that, I got injured at my job and lost my career. I was away from home for so long. I thought the loss would bring us together. It was all fake, when I spent my money on them instead of just leaving again. Ive realized my worst two enemies started at home. And I have this anger in me that I actually thought about murdering both of them, and rotting in prison or receiving the death penalty. Sad thing is, those thoughts brought me comfort. This is all wrong, I know and now im in a stuck situation. Yet I know I have to get away from these people and never look back. Its so much more, but hearing you say this is just reassuring me. That, I will never get love from them. And since I've destroyed relationships, im alone. So therapy is needed. Yes I believe in God, I know its because of the creator ive made it this far. Yet its so much you can take, and now I must make moves to distance myself before I do something that will destroy my life, and in the end. They still win😢
The worst damn thing in the world is having a parents who don't even understand you.. And make you feel like you're not even enough if you done anything
Can’t afford counseling these comments are all I got.. how as a man do you step back from your mother, knowing she needs me, but the relationship Is killing us both
These comments are actually better than counseling. Therapists haven't experienced this first hand . Your situations are really tough. May be support them from a distance or give only monetary help. Whatever take care of boundaries.
My mother is exactly like this she keeps pressuring me sometimes i felt like im the black sheep of the family im no good for her. I don't have the support i needed when im struggling especially when i lost my job. 😢
I cut my biological father almost a year-and-a-half ago and never look forward to ever contacting him again he took advantage of me and he took advantage of many other people in the family and blackmail me and that's something you don't forget or forgive.
My mother gave a hellish life to a point of breaking me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Poisoned me multiple of times, agitated and manipulated my emotions that leads me to become bedridden for years. I truly need your prayers right now.
Bro, my parent's always say "Shut-Up" if i'am right at once and if i still talk, then they'll slap me + They want to have right at everything, everytime i try to say something, they either don't listen, say Shut-Up or try to have right at everything, i mean, they think they can say/do what they want with me by insulting. Every small Thing, they say Shut-Up, so that they argue better against me and that's what makes me mostly Angry😡. At the end, after we argued, they start to insult again😡.
Same here they want me to keep my mouth shut and do whtever they say...im 27 they treat me like a puppet orr 2 year kid....they never let me take my own decsion they didnt allow me to do job so dat i could go away frm their house
@@itssLaurysame and go no contact with my parents and have nothing to do with them all so that i never see and speak to them again that’s literally what im excited about most when i graduate college and become an adult
Thanks 🙏 blessings to everyone here I needed this 31 yrs dealing with my mental health my parents are coke addicts and my dad abuses beer also they enjoy treating me bad I’m the black sheep even if I’m disabled from my feet I got myself in college and moving out soon on my own it’s true don’t try to change them it will never work We don’t choose our parents
I've recently realized how much my mother is toxic, I love her to bits. She raised by herself while my father was in jail and our bond was very strong. I was always a Mama's boy and people pleaser which I believe has lead me to all the issues I have now. I've stood up to her and tried to set my boundaries but I see she recents me for it now. My little sister is disrespectful towards me yet she sees no problem with that. I am going to work hard to get my life back together so that I can finally be free from her.
I was a perfect child until my older siblings left and it was just me left. They really got to focus and put all the pressure on me and that’s when my relationship with them went down hill. I’m in college now and I feel like they don’t care about my dreams/ what makes me happy, they just care about my success
Mental health is much harder to show up and much more harder to tolerate. Its easier to say my tooth is aching rather than saying my heart is broken. Toxicity in a surrounding we are witnessing daily can really tear up someone 🙃.
I have this love hate relationship with my father. Because he has a lot of wisdom and it's always so hard to seek counsil without getting into an argument. It's like he always want to control me when all I'm looking for is advice.
I felt all of us... dealing with toxic parents don't have a platform where we can talk about our experiences and ask for support. I wanted to start a support group for the same. Anyone of you guys interested, please comment ❤️ Hope you have the strength to endure the pain❤️
He is damn right. I fought with my parents, tried to change them, please them, every time I ended feeling worse. If there's little bit of goodness in them , they will never treat their children badly. They are toxic, so stay away from them
yes, i agree
yes mine do the same
In my case they are good and do things for me , but all things i have to do for satisfying them
Same feeling..
Me too and however the l try to avoid them they'll be there and compare me with the millionaire and a perfect kid that doesn't exist and they even try to force me to do things l don't want to and it'll always happens almost every single day.
Parents are supposed to take care of you, love and guide you not emotionally damage you 💔
That part
Right 😢
😢
That part hit me
I'm going through This Shit.......I have No Idea How To Even Cry....
Im sick of crying everyday bc of them...
My dad calls me worthless ....
And i cry everyday because of it... It just hurts 💔
@@anoushkaacharya49 How you deal with feeling hurt and worthless? After being hurt is hurts hard for days and barely able to function than
🫂🫂🫂
@@anoushkaacharya49 my guardian calls me good for nothing when I says it hurts she says she jokes
I just hope you get better and free
What's worse is that they're acting like angels when with total strangers but when they're with you they act as to make your life a living hell
Soooooo true
@jamesmondsexperience I learned a hard lesson, in this world we are basically on our own, not with our parents. Parents are hell
Quite the opposite, please somebody help me
Sometimes they do that too u when there with strangers to make you look bad in front of them
Thats how narcisit parents behave so usually your relative and friends think you the child are the problem
Even if you were faithful/loyal to them, they will never return that.
Unfortunately
@@rebs114Like my stupid parents
Yup they are so unloyal … and talk about. You behind your back and manipulate your partner in you are in a relationship
It's heartbreaking to see so many PPL looked up for such a video 😢
Oh yeah
Every home is not like yours
You are lucky, feel grateful
Yes😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
exactly 😭😭
Man my dad always telling me bad things and he's also telling me I'm not your father ouch that hurts cuz I wanna have a dad...
😭😭😭😭 m crying
My mother in all terms.
I sometimes wonder why can't I have a mother who just understands me and laughs with me ?why cant I have normal conversation with her, without having the fear of getting judged. I miss having a mother as the world say mothers are.
SAME here 😢😢😢
Me too
Same here💔🩹
This is exactly how I feel.. its hard isn't it?
When i see all these comments I realise there’s a lot of us who are facing this issue and i think there’s no way you can change them what’s best is find a good opportunity for yourself and get out of the house
I cannot wait til I get to university and I can escape this hellplace called home
Literally me right now
Same here
All the best for the new life after getting into a university and leaving that place
Same😢
That’s me right now. I can’t wait until I get a permanent job, I’m moving out of this toxic household!!
same here dear friend😥😥😥
#3 is extremely important. My mother used anything/everything I said against me. No matter what it was
Yes , same with me
Same! I have to deal with it every day
Same with my mother
Same 😢
Mine did the same to me too. It was awful
I ran away 2 years ago and it was the best decision I could have done.
Feeling now better than ever and I don‘t have to feel guilty for things I like and do :)
How did you earn?
Good on you. May god help you. I also ran away but got back due to some other stranger pleadings, with the involvement of outsiders, the abuse got lowered
Here in India people will make u feel baad for even leaving a toxic family saying you are supposed to take care of them .
Omg tell me how you did it? I can’t leave because of my sisters, cats, money, it’s all a mess. But I’ve been thinking of just getting on a greyhound bus and start somewhere. I’m so scared but I really hate it here
@@abhishek_Gaming5056How to deal then? Indian culture is very bad. And people defend it and hate western culture as if its the worst. Only people like us can relate.
A kid deserves a parent not all parents deserve a kid
Edit: thank you for so many Likes
right
Highest truth
My way is get away from them. That's what I did. If you can't get away and go live somewhere else, then lower your expectations of them and don't tell em shit.
Cant leave im a minor
True man.
My father is so pathetic, he shows off how supportive he is, but he uses so many hurtful words , to make me feel down. He thinks himself as Google, and everything and everyone are wrong. He doesn't support and care for me. He forced me to pursue something else instead of following my dreams. Because of him I have been facing PTSD since last 5 years. I did all the mistakes that you said because I was so stupid to believe him. I hate him most in the whole world.
Same here 😢 so sad
Also My parent never talk with me properly
Same here. My father is the worst😢
But for now how can u deal with them 😢
how to deal with toxic parents?
Simply, you dont.
Gang
Yess
S it is waste of time😔
Fr. I plan on moving out in like the next 2 years. I want my mom to be miserable on her own
@@HarmlessTomato But why on her own tho😩😆
The most hurtful is that they're only toxic toward you not your siblings
It happened to me and lots others, you're not alone. But try to study hard and then get job as early as possible. Then with one click, BOOM you're outta that fcking parents
Being an elder this is what happens v me even after pleasing and trying to keep my parents happy.. Im just waiting for me to be financial independent and leave the home 😢
In my case, my mother was always kind and and gentle with other kids and abusive with me and my brother and that hurt me so much.
): me too..
I'm glad am not alone😢
This sentence crushed me : they will never change. I'm 14 and I just want some good parents and I thought they could change but ur right bro
same, i genuinely feel like they hate me
I am glad you figured it out early. ❤ Hopefully the road ahead can be less bumpy for you.
Am also 14 n guess what Am battling the same shit!.... We are gonna be happy in the future
The only thing that you can do, is to heal yourself, love yourself and support yourself, be independent so you can grow, and be that good parent yourself.
Think of it this way, only 4 more years until you’re 18 and you are an adult. In the meantime if you are finding ways to stay away maybe try to join an after school club or sport or read books to keep your mind off of things going on at home and tutoring is another way to be able to stay away from home.(if your school allows it) in the meantime just know there are others out there going through the same and you are destined for greatness in the future. You’ve got it and keep going even when it’s hard.
Man all I want is a mom that loves me.
Same..
Me 2. I feel your heartbreak.
Forget it. It's not for us now. All the glorification, the world does about mom's, it does not apply to us. There're other better role models out there. As he said, don't try to change her. She will never change. My brother is 28 years old single. Our mom uses up almost 90% of his salary. He doesn't even have savings to buy a vehicle for him or for his marriage or well-being.
Everyday we only have dinner nothing else. Dinner's at 10PM everyday and it's only rice everyday.
Ur making me cry 😭
@kunal2464 How do we live without it though? It's so hard. I have lost the will to even do basics for my survival.
Told my mum she’s hurt me a lot. Thought it would help if I let her know. I got yelled at and called ungrateful and given the silent treatment until I apologised
i totally resonate with this. i feel like im never gonna be able to communicate with my mom properly. i also get yelled at and get called ungrateful and it hurts. im always the one that's to blame and its honestly really frustrating and it always tears me down~ but this is to say that ur not alone and its hard but im here if you ever want to talk
very relatable.. I used to be close to my mother until the age of 11 when I may or may not have made a rift in our relationship. ever since then it has gotten worse. I'm glad I have my father though. My mom yelled at me today and said she didn't care about my feelings and that she would make my life hell... she also said I have no reason to be miserable, sad, or have such thoughts... She already makes my life miserable, I have so much anxiety when I'm around her I hide myself in my room. I don't hate her but don't exactly love her, there isn't a word to don't how I feel about her.only 3 more years until I'm finally free.
My mother says “what did she do .. she don’t remember “ smh then acts like nothing happened.. very dismissive
@@abbyb764This is like my mother but instead since I don't talk to her about my feelings much. She dismisses it like I never said anything in my whole entire life. :/
I'm in same situation but in my own case after apologizing my mum did still won't talk to me
What hits you hard is when you finally realize how your parents have been. When you finally realize they have been toxic towards you all your life. Even if its in a subtle way. Its hard to want to believe your parents would be this way
Facts!
@@mml3888 its still something thats hard to overcome because our inner child just wants their approval. I know thats my case. Ive basically felt invisible most of my life. I felt unimportant or just there to help others.
Ive been made to think I’m not good enough from basically when I was in 1st grade. Sadly I made a lot of life choices based on how I can make my parents proud of me. I wasn’t living for myself.
My parents have their own issues that they never dealt with and I was the middle child. Sadly it hasn’t been just my parents that have been toxic towards me. I have had cousins and uncles as well. Hell even one of my brothers.
Its been really hard to come to grips with. Looking back at my life and childhood. I was really saddened by it and borderline depressed. Realizing that my whole life ive never really had one person that really had my back or want whats best for me. Or even cheers me on. Ive never had it.
But I realized that all this has turned me into this person that i am today. I love who I am. It was meant for me. It didn’t happen to me it got to happen. I know what true love really is because my whole life I have never seen it or had it.
@@RedemptionInChrist.yep. Especially so if their subtle sabotage ruined your life.
@@RedemptionInChrist.hope you’re doing good bro!
@@RedemptionInChrist. I also wish I had that 1 person whom I can trust... I'm also middle child and my siblings are just non existent.
All I want is freedom and peace
Same 😢
Same
He speaks the truth.
I've ALWAS failed to accept that I have an unpleasable parent.
Truly negative humans will see their world through their own negative eyes & negative viewpoints.
Can't change this.
Time to limit exposure & reinforce boundaries.
Same here..its very very hard
He is absolutely right, I can never satisfy my mother no matter what I do, she treats me worst than her servant.
I hate my dad, he is so narcissistic self absorbed and so toxic, it's absolute hell living with a father especially who has been toxic to their daughters. Truly evil and disgusting
Never let your super toxic parents know how much you earn.If you do you'll regret it.
Thank youu so much
U have no idea how badly I needed this ..
All I have ever done in my life is love my parents but in return I got curses, hate , discouragement nothing else ...I am only 15 right now and I am dealing with really bad stress ...Well today I promised myself that I will never be like my parents NEVER !!!!!!
If ever god blesses me with a child ,I will raise that child giving all my love , care and I will do anything for that child ....😞😞😞😞
I WILL NEVER GIVE THAT CHILD A PAINFUL CHILDHOOD LIKE I AM HAVING RIGHT NOW ..
MY PARENTS DIDNT CARE ABOUT MY STRESS, THEY DIDNT CARE ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS IN DEPRESSION , THEY NEVER MOTIVATED ME FOR MY DEAMS ...BUT I DONT CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE ,I LOVE MYSELF HOWEVER I AM , WHATEVER I WILL BE IN FUTURE
ohhh sad bt you dnt wry dear be strong ohk. may god bles you raje
i can understand your situation
Same here❤
Same here im alws dreaming for a girl child ....i wil treat her like i alws wanted to be ...i .will give her full freedom to choose her carrer,,,and will alws support her like guide
I can def relate
Finally someone with a solution instead of trying to justify their behaviour.
I have a living environment that is not good for me. I'm just praying to god that one day, i'll free myself from my parents. As i work for independence, may god bless my days with patience until that day comes. For those who are going to the same as me, i wish all the best. We're not alone. We have each other. Let's work hard 💪🏽 ya'll
"The best revenge is not to be your enemy."
-Marcus Aurelius
Idk why after knowing also it's useless to try to change them I try to change them thinking they are my parents they can understand my feelings. In result I only receive tears.
True
Asian parents*
exactly
Same brother
Indian parents
It hurts when the one who should care us will destroy us
I will never understand how ur own parents can be so so hurtful not thinking about what they have said.
Damn I needed this, my parents always break promises and lie, they think it’s funny when I cry, they laugh at me for things I feel confident in, they embarrass me infront of friends and only when friends are over, I don’t feel comfortable with them or telling them anything cuz they say “no, your favorite color is pink and will always be pink” WHEN PINK IS MY LEAST FAVORITE 😭😭😭
Escape them asap
Bro my mom be getting mad for such small things like bro she asked me to help her find her charger I couldn’t find it and she called me stupid retarded and no good over a charger like come on and she try’s to act tough by making me look bad in-front of her friends or she smacks me cussed me out for a laugh out of her friends
Not laughing for things you feel confident in wow
@@JosiahJeffers-ek5tkwow, I'm so sorry. Hope u can can escape soon
If u always please them, they'll control u like a little child.
"Have an exit plan" way ahead of you lol iv two tents and a sleeping bag on the ready..so close to just booking it out of here..my whole family is toxic
What did you do? I think I am having similar state.
@@ephemeral8997still here..I'm basically homeless..I spend most of my time skateboarding in the streets only really go home to sleep
The best way to not be manipulated by a narcissist is to not even to talk to them. Simply don’t give them an opportunity
I'm currently going through this, an extremely narcissistic father who never respects me, always putting me down, he thinks giving me food and shelter is a luxury which I'm getting (I wasn't born out of thin air and other parents don't give their children hay straw to eat), he always belittles me, never satisfied with anything I do, doesn't accept his mistakes and if I talk back he threatens me with physical violence and to remove me from the house.
this is so similar to what i'm going through too... i hate feeling trapped living with toxic parents because my mom says hurtful things to be all the time and never remembers the things she says or the impact it has. she constantly tells me that im ungrateful because she provides me with a roof and food and i never feel like im good enough and if i ever talk back she screams at me to leave the house and that everything is my fault
That’s basically how my mum is with me 🤦🏽♀️
@@samuelanderson5362are we living in the same household??
Mine keep jumping over the boundaries and ruin my mental peace.
Same ,,mine Ruined my mental peace tooo..since lockdown they made me feel worse,,they make me cry for 2 2 hrs
yeah I'm stuck on boundaries too.
@@shilpa577😂😂😂
@@gottagrind2shine607 illterrate
My parents always step over my boundaries
Then assert them, make it not worth their while to step on your boundaries, give them a reason not to, if you don't give in and maintain your reactions they'll leave you alone eventually
@@tourmelion9221 The problems is finding them a reason for not to. Toxic parents simply do not care or respect you enough
@@tourmelion9221 or beat you more
@@paigens0725 Then don't shout and cry the f out. Keep walking towards your goals. Let them feel everything worthless
I emotionally checked out and I don't surrender with my boundaries....that helped me feel better and was able to focus on my exit plan...
Very accurate. Also, it's also important to have financial independence, without it, it's difficult to completely shield from their toxic behavior.
#3 keep fighting them. They'll hurt you, but you will also inflict some damage on them . Dont let them step over you
the way my parents changed drastically the day i got married will be the mystery of this lifetime for me, home doesn't feel like home anymore, moving out seems to be the best option now for all our sakes
Yeah moving out is the best option, i hope youre doing fine right now 👍
@@nyldc4532 thanks for the good wish, hopefully will move out by the end of this month and things would get better..
Yes, very true! Be mindful of what you share with them. They will use it in the most horrible way possible
💯
The shamefull point is that:
Even our parents are toxic to us..!!
the 3rd point is so important. never expect or wait or hope for them to change. it's only going to hurt you more & more.
That's right! Several years ago when I was like 18 - 22 my parents could not believe that I was a young adult and I was growing up. So every time I would try to change them it would come back at me 10 times harder. So, what I did is not give a shit.
This!!
Man you were an adult you could work hard to build your life rather than your parents building your life
@@BEAST_69 It sounds easy. But it's not impossible. I am 22. I wanted to move out and do job after highschool but my single mother insisted so hardly on me to complete a four year college degree. I had no other sensible adult to guide me through it. I got admission in a better college which was far from my home but mom said I cannot take your expenses. So you will only study in here local college. You see the trap?
@@kunal2464exactly the same thing my mum is doing to me. I plan to leave though. Infact, I will leave then I’ll send her a long nasty message then block her and travel to another state
@@kunal2464same here I always thought to ran away from my home and stay in hostel but due to high hostel fees I am studying here in local clg and my degree is of 4.5 yrs I don't have any options rather to stay here I am 21
After so much pain that my parents caused me, everything starts to make sense now, I am in tears right now. Thank you.
And five don't wait that they will apologize in front of you. They don't kill themselves guilty they think that you are guilty and they will never say sorry.
This is so hard for me to accept 😢
So should i go and say sorry even i am not wrong..
I thought I was alone till I read this
She said it to my face a few days ago. I just can't believe it.
@@areeshanoor4118 Absolutely not. You did nothing wrong.
My mom is an angel but my dad is a whole opposite thing God has gifted me
Same
@@childkillers_shouldve_NoState sadd but don't worry, everything will be alright
@@frontier_001 I am facing the exact situation here
at least you have 1 good parent. both never loved me and still resent me.
@@MrWolff__ sad
I block my mom to avoid all the hurtful messages and she reaching out to my husband insulting us now . He now blocks her too. It’s so sad, we never reply to her toxic messages. It angers her more
@@shilpa577 Currently in the same situation, except there is a shortage of jobs in my location. I have been struggling financially and can’t afford to escape. It’s so stressful!
@@shilpa577 leave away from her house and rent a small room,get a job(that’s all)
@@reyr.7439 Even if there's shortage of jobs. You can very easily find at least a low-paying job which will cover your living and food expenses. That's what I will be doing right after my undergrad which will end in 10 days. I will move far away from my hometown.
@@kunal2464 where are you living???
@shilpa577 fight for your freedom, please don't give up, Pray and ask God for strenght to face your mom and to overcome her toxicity and build a better life for yourself. There's always hope even a small window of Hope, just believe and you see the way out. ❤
Thanks Sir I'm having immense pressure and mental breakdowns because of my mother. I often think she treats me like a product and not a human. It's a long time for the exit plan but once I exit I will never be har son
This made me cry BECAUSE I know it's true but the thought of other people feeling like I do hurts. That said this man seems pretty healthy and that gives me hope. I'm so so hopeless rn. Life looks so bleek and bland and nothing brings me joy everyone I have ever loved has hurt me.
Yes dear , same situation here. Husband , in laws and my own parents everyone is taking turns to abuse and hurt me. No wonder I'm this sick and housebound.
My life is hopeless and bleek too. Never ever felt this depressed in life.
I can’t even fight with my parents I just walk away. Sometimes for weeks I don’t sleep at home because I don’t feel comfortable.
I wish i could do this...m girl frm india....i cant run away... u knw girls aint safe in this cruel world....i too want to walk away in another room she chases me there also..she keep fighying arguing telling me harsh words she makes me cry for 2 3 hrs eveyday...
@shilpa577 yea and mine doesn't care when I cry🙁
@@shilpa577 try to secretly get help from other close relatives. Don't run away in India, it's full of bad people. But better let your local leader or politician know your problem, they may send some family official to deal with your parents
they make me see no reasons to live,always make me feel like the bad one in every situation,they always treat me like am still a child and shouldn't have an opinion of my own or mind of my own,they always tell me am ungrateful.Worst of all mom uses all my secrets against me and they love misinterpreting every situation in my life,l always feel useless and unwanted.l get insulted always with the things they offer me,l feel like a big bounding to them.l pray God blesses me some day and take away this heavy pain in my heart
An abuser is always someone who was abused.Its a cycle and not having kids or getting therapy is the only way out of it.
-To every future parent
This is why I want to accomplish my exit plan. I can't deal wit my mean ass mom all the time.
Same here! I already planned it out, I just need a stable-permanent job to make it happen.
Yeah man im on ur side
🫡🫡🫡
Toxic and manipulative
I just left both of them alone and I felt so much better. If that meant sleeping on a friend's couch or anything then so be it
damm 😢
My father relates to everything in this list. No. 9 and maybe 10 sums one such example, there were two slices of cake in the fridge ( I brought one cake for myself from starbucks and the other cake was a free cake from a hotpot restaurant that we ate at for my father's birthday ), my father ate my starbucks cake. When I told my father that he ate my cake, instead of just saying sorry, he proceeds to lecture me and gulit rid me by saying things like "I have to stop it with that mentality" and "I paid for the food, the rent etc." I know its just cake and I know this doesn't compare to the stories shared in this section but small things like this really frustrate me.
He’s right. The sooner in age , the better, or arrested development.
You are correct...I wanna move out when I grow up...also I'm the only child.. there's no one to look after them..I feel bad but at the same time I wanna heal..I don't know what to do
Do you come up with an idea
Ur right about that. Then when ever you want to leave. They find a way to get you back.
They to it purposly...she nvr let me nove away frm this house....she also dont let me live peacefully
My mom yelled at me to get the fck out of the house but when im trying to leave she was like "you aint going no where"
@zareena Exactly I'm caught in same thing.A way to get u back...
The having an escape plan. I wish I had it. I'm still stuck in this situation, trying to have said plan now but I feel so hopeless.
So so true...i want to share something because it just feels overwhelming.
My parents recently in about 6 to 7 months...always fight. Every day they will say something provoking to each other.. and also insult them in bad way...i as a child alone can't bear it anymore...i started reading wattpad because it was the only escape and it almost became a habit. I don't know what to do, what ever i do is less...these days, i get angry, sad so frequently...as an average student when i think i did much better then earlier, i get happy but my parents one sentence "so you made mistakes" and the face expression make me scared and sad at the same time...i feel like if i do one thing wrong then also they will be unhappy....
No peace and no one with whom i could share...
Even my choices are changing...i no longer read fun books or anything but i don't know what is the condition of my hurt but i like to read abuse stories....because it makes me feel connected...
12 years old had to admit to myself that my "Mother" didn't love me and that she was exactly like my narcissistic grandfather and that I would never have a loving mother or normal childhood and that wasn't my fault. I live everyday trying to not become like her or to become a victim to someone like her again.
You were a smart kid
but how am i supposed to have an exit plan if im broke
Bruh😭
😭😭😭
Escape from your comfort zone. You need to convince yourself that you have the necessary skills to do or accomplish something. This makes you motivated to look for opportunities to grow and exit toxic parents. Learn new skills and find a job.
Oh god earn somehow I'm trying too
In my advice don't move when u are broke.
Work on yourself first.
Yes brother, I also understood this in my whole life that there is no solution for such perents .
I share too much , and im fighting to stop doing this.
Thank you, finding supportive people online was my first step into healing ❤
True, same with me. It being i not feel alone.
@@selfendak.s.9109 happy 4 u !
I'm going to 11th grade , I want to get rid of them beating me everyday I'm tired of this.
You're so right.. They'll never change & fight you harder & leave you in worse pain.😞
I oftenly overshared things that I'm experiencing to them, and as I'd expect they will use it as a backfire if i did some atomic mistake, When they do that I'm always so afraid for what the result of my plan might ended up, because in my religion parent will and pray is a very strong spell, I'm afraid that my plan will fail miserably, but I always remember some internet stranger have said to me it sounds like "The god is at an absolute higher position than your parent, so if you so sure about what you're up to, just give it all to god" and ever since then I almost never have any problem with my plan, even after I got some beef with my parent. Just rely on god for everything because he's the only one who's fair and in the end your parent is just human.
Love my mum dearly but my dad is extremely narcissistic. When I move out I will try to convince her to leave this abuse
You're right, and I have a toxic older sister as well. I just wanted them to Always love me. I've been in a vulnerable state since I lost my first and only child, 5mths later I lost my father to covid, 1 month after that, I got injured at my job and lost my career. I was away from home for so long. I thought the loss would bring us together. It was all fake, when I spent my money on them instead of just leaving again. Ive realized my worst two enemies started at home. And I have this anger in me that I actually thought about murdering both of them, and rotting in prison or receiving the death penalty. Sad thing is, those thoughts brought me comfort. This is all wrong, I know and now im in a stuck situation. Yet I know I have to get away from these people and never look back. Its so much more, but hearing you say this is just reassuring me. That, I will never get love from them. And since I've destroyed relationships, im alone. So therapy is needed. Yes I believe in God, I know its because of the creator ive made it this far. Yet its so much you can take, and now I must make moves to distance myself before I do something that will destroy my life, and in the end. They still win😢
The worst damn thing in the world is having a parents who don't even understand you.. And make you feel like you're not even enough if you done anything
"Parents aren't people who made you, parents are people who raise, love and cherish you!" - Random person
“they will never change” that hit hard but its true
thanks
😢
Can’t afford counseling these comments are all I got.. how as a man do you step back from your mother, knowing she needs me, but the relationship Is killing us both
This is the same reason I am here reading the comments & the same queztion I am trying to answer... Its a rough spot to be in.
These comments are actually better than counseling. Therapists haven't experienced this first hand .
Your situations are really tough. May be support them from a distance or give only monetary help. Whatever take care of boundaries.
Just want a dad who doesn't treat me,my sister and my mom like burden ,mistake and regret
M so tired of being patient and big all the time.
My mother is exactly like this she keeps pressuring me sometimes i felt like im the black sheep of the family im no good for her. I don't have the support i needed when im struggling especially when i lost my job. 😢
This may look funny but this guy is practical, sometimes you cannot fix them.
The pain is killing me from inside it has mentally damaged me a lot. I am having panic attacks due to the trauma and the past that they remind me.
I cut my biological father almost a year-and-a-half ago and never look forward to ever contacting him again he took advantage of me and he took advantage of many other people in the family and blackmail me and that's something you don't forget or forgive.
i was harrassed but my mom started blaming me for that and she didn't supported me and the most lovely thing here is she appreciates that guy
how can I distance away from them
@@ocyeanin_please get a job and move out. Or report that abuser.
@@renu653that's the great option I think 💜✨
My mother gave a hellish life to a point of breaking me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Poisoned me multiple of times, agitated and manipulated my emotions that leads me to become bedridden for years. I truly need your prayers right now.
Bro, my parent's always say "Shut-Up" if i'am right at once and if i still talk, then they'll slap me + They want to have right at everything, everytime i try to say something, they either don't listen, say Shut-Up or try to have right at everything, i mean, they think they can say/do what they want with me by insulting. Every small Thing, they say Shut-Up, so that they argue better against me and that's what makes me mostly Angry😡. At the end, after we argued, they start to insult again😡.
Same here they want me to keep my mouth shut and do whtever they say...im 27 they treat me like a puppet orr 2 year kid....they never let me take my own decsion they didnt allow me to do job so dat i could go away frm their house
@@shilpa577 same here lmfao
@@shilpa577 27 years old is very adult, go get a job, not only for escaping from your toxic parents but also be us of life
It breaking me that people [me too] really need an exit Plan cuz of their family
i just want to move out
Same but we all need a good stable permanent job to move out
can’t wait till that day comes
@@itssLaurysame and go no contact with my parents and have nothing to do with them all so that i never see and speak to them again that’s literally what im excited about most when i graduate college and become an adult
all the points he has mentioned are so damn true i have experienced them all
My parents are so cruel I don't know how to escape from them only option left is to leave this world and lay peacefully on god's lap
Leave your parents.. do job in other city..
I hope for one day they will be more laws for this.
Thanks 🙏 blessings to everyone here I needed this 31 yrs dealing with my mental health my parents are coke addicts and my dad abuses beer also they enjoy treating me bad I’m the black sheep even if I’m disabled from my feet I got myself in college and moving out soon on my own it’s true don’t try to change them it will never work
We don’t choose our parents
I'm disabled too and it sucks more when parents are so toxic.
I've recently realized how much my mother is toxic, I love her to bits. She raised by herself while my father was in jail and our bond was very strong. I was always a Mama's boy and people pleaser which I believe has lead me to all the issues I have now. I've stood up to her and tried to set my boundaries but I see she recents me for it now. My little sister is disrespectful towards me yet she sees no problem with that. I am going to work hard to get my life back together so that I can finally be free from her.
If I stop pleasing them, it's still a loss.
I was a perfect child until my older siblings left and it was just me left. They really got to focus and put all the pressure on me and that’s when my relationship with them went down hill. I’m in college now and I feel like they don’t care about my dreams/ what makes me happy, they just care about my success
Mental health is much harder to show up and much more harder to tolerate. Its easier to say my tooth is aching rather than saying my heart is broken. Toxicity in a surrounding we are witnessing daily can really tear up someone 🙃.
I have this love hate relationship with my father. Because he has a lot of wisdom and it's always so hard to seek counsil without getting into an argument. It's like he always want to control me when all I'm looking for is advice.
imagine a child has to search this and take help for dealing with their narcissistic dad
I felt all of us... dealing with toxic parents don't have a platform where we can talk about our experiences and ask for support. I wanted to start a support group for the same. Anyone of you guys interested, please comment ❤️
Hope you have the strength to endure the pain❤️
I try to stay away from my toxic parents but they seem to follow me waiting for the moment I screw up
Right? Like wtf!
ya