I agree but the only issue I see wrong here is that when a woman/female says it everyone raises their glass and cheers along with her but when a man say the same about single moms it's considered hate speech.
@@nessaboo232 not true statistically only 24% of black men ages 20-29 are fathers, and 41% 30-39 are fathers which more than likely means women keep having babies with men who already have kids while the single childless men get overlooked 🤷🏽♀️ we see that with the future's and nick cannon's 🤣🤣
Well it seems that some people don’t want to be on their own forever so they’ll settle for ANYBODY who comes along. However, I refuse to follow that same suit!! 😐🙅🏾♀️❌
Well, these days there are lots of deadbeats out there who have absolutely no problem being in your face 24/7 because they have no job or place to stay. So.... he'll have all the time in the world to give you, but you'll have to become his momma. Ew... idk which is worse. 😩🤢
Is so true. I don’t date men with kids and the couple times I tried, it was chaos and drama. And childless men are out here ladies. They just be at work, and not in the club lol.
Flipped the script? That's how everyone should see it. Why would anyone without kids want to date someone with kids? It doesn't make sense. Not everyone is cut out to be a step parent
@@ricohall6124 maybe men needs to stop saying that she is damage goods or "never play another men game" or whatever, you guys are so cruel and disrepectful. Just say "you not my type" or "no", if she insiste ask why would happen if he was the one no taking no for a answer, that should do the trick.
@@larissagomes451 No matter how men say anything about or to a woman. Majority of women feel its disrespectful. But majority of women don't have a problem with being disrespectful to a man in how yall talk to them. Both are at fault for doing that. Both need to practice what they preach.
@@ricohall6124 really? When a woman say she doens't date a man with kids it ends there she usually no more, but the dude straight up is verbally abusive when refusing a single mom, even going as far aa talk about her vagina is rotten.
This was meeeee sis, I have no kids so nobody I dated could have them, I'm married to a man with zero baggage ... I remember my aunties tried to convince me that it would be impossible ... GOD IS GOOD
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿. As a man with no kids, you're spot on. I wouldn't date a single mom either. Let single moms and single dads date each other since they're already parents. I myself rather date a woman with no kids.
As a child free woman, I dated several men with kids and the complications and drama were real! After that, I was like only if his children are grown. Then I met my husband who is also child free and don’t even have to deal:)
I agree, when I was 19 I dated a guy that was 29 and lied about how many kids he had 🤦🏾♀️ it turns out he had 5 kids and 3 baby mamas and 2 of them and their friends stalked me and harassed me for a whole year. I had to get a restraining order to keep him away from me.
Well I'm 28 my husband just turned 36. He has a child but he's a great dad. His son lives in Pennsylvania during the school year and with us here in NY during the summer. Me and his baby mother gets along great. And we communicate greatly. I, as the 28 year old have no children. His son is a teenager ( 15 ). You shouldn't judge until you get to know. I felt the same way until I met my husband. 6 years strong. He's an amazing man, protector, provider, and great dad to his son and our dog Bandit lol. Sometimes it's the men that YOU are choosing. I learned that along this journey.
@@her0807 Excess baggage. Unless the mother is out of the picture. And you are looking for an instant family. If he is a good man and you are a good woman looking for kids... without the physical pain, bonus, lol. Gotta be serious when kids are involved 😉
No single childless female should want a male with a child and vise versa. Dating individuals who have children Ultimately makes you limit yourself and the things you can do in that relationship. Everyone single and childless the only limitations would be yourself. No 1 else can dictate your time
@@SuZ4242 Okay but what does that have to do with loyalty? Honestly this whole video just sounds like she doesn't want to be honest about the real reasons she doesn't want to date fathers. I don't want them either though so I'm on her side lol
@@Neyobe I love my husband, I love stepson but blended families are painful and hard regardless of how much you care for your spouse and stepkids. I think single parents should date single parents and childless people should date childless people. It’s better for everyone and just don’t realize it till you’re in the thick of it.
My mom is the same way. That man got 5 kids. She only had me and my sister. I STILL don’t know what she was thinking. But even as a young girl, I knew it was destined to fail. Smh
I dont know if this counts but both of my parents re-married people who didn’t have children. There are 13 kids between the 4 of them now. I would say we all blended quite well to the point that people cant tell who the bio sets are. We are all between early 20’s and mid 30’s now. We don’t use any other term for each other or our parents other than Mom/ Mama, Dad/Papa, brother/Sister each respectively. When something happens we have always had 4 parents to rely on. They raised us equally and have been involved in nearly every aspect of our lives and now our children’s lives. I don’t know what would have happened if they had taken the advice and not gotten married.
you see this comment bothers me a lot because ladies keep saying that men will trap them. when ladies determine who impregnates them and who they have the baby by or abort the baby. ladies need to stop this victim mentality as if they don't control their bodies.
@@jamesndegwa6955 my child was my baby daddy's first and he now has 4 kids he doesn't take care of. Don't bank on it, protect your womb no matter what!
You know what’s crazy, a man with a child is so quick to judge a single mother and make sure to date Women with no children. But hide that they have kids and try to make it okay with you to be with them and play down that they don’t have baby Mama drama. Or how sorry they are and how they meant to tell you they had kids. Happened to me. His first question to me was if I had kids. But hid from me that he was an absent father of his own but it totally showed in time.
Totally weirdo hypocrites. I’m a single parent and totally understand why someone doesn’t want to date me, especially if they don’t have kids. I’ve personally stop talking to men who desired children (but had none), to look elsewhere. Even if I knew they just wanted casual s3x. Not worth my time. But I have seen and know so many men who downplay or get ridiculously upset about women passing them for having children. I’m comfortable in admitting people without children are more desirable to most people. I don’t know why it’s offensive or why some men insist they’re so much better than single mothers. They’re not and I tell my adult daughter to steer clear of men with kids, as well as my son.
@@crystaloats8177 Honestly I think its selfish. Most men assume that all Single mother's are going to try to look for a Man to take the place of the Father and take on the duties, or that a Women is less desirable. When Single Mother's are mostly Superwomen and are able to separate their dating life from their Motherhood. I think "boys" steer away from single mother's because they want Women to date to "mother them." Those types of "boys" want to come first, they want to be taken care of, they want to be the child in the relationship and not the man. In my experience Single Mother's can hold their own. In my experience, the Male who got the female pregnant wants nothing to do with the kids, and all the responsibility falls on the female who gets pregnant.
I remember overhearing 2 college seniors( 2 very attractive young Black women). And they were talking about their futures and how they would never marry a man who already had children. I will never forget hearing that conversation.
I date the same exact way. Men bash women with kids, but never think their value goes down when they have kids…it does! “Go home to your child’s mother and marry her” is a line I’ve used on so many baby daddies.
That’s exactly what I’m saying. They look down on women with kids but don’t understand when a woman looks down on them for having baby mamas. And if you do decide to date someone with kids and they “trap” you, a man would take pride in the fact that other men see you as less desirable because of the kids he put in you.. SMH
@@LFranklya I am divorced and I won't date childless men. I also pay attention to the situation too. My ex won't bring drama and I won't date someone who has it either. If you can't co-parent or have 50 kids in 50 homes bye. And I think childless people should date other childless people.
@@micaelav8470funny how low men think of themselves. “I put a baby in you so now your value and worth has decreased.” He views himself as tainted and he views the child that he helped create as gross to him. Any man who speaks like this will automatically turn me off cuz of the explicit low self esteem.
As a man, I agree 100% with her. Single parents should focus on dating each other, they get each others complicated life. Adults with no kids like me should date adults with no kids, we get each other and we wanna at least try to start a family from scratch.
As a social worker I had a young client (age 26) with her first newborn. She was very soft spoken and kind. She’d just received her Master’s degree and had a new supervisory position making very good money. Her child’s father was a high school dropout with 2 different baby mama’s and he wasn’t paying child support. Now she was his third baby mama and their relationship was over. It’s been years since I met her but I often pray that she an baby are doing well and that she finally found someone deserving of her.
Sounds like my cousin. She got with a pookie and he dipped on her when was got pregnant. That didn't slow her down one bit. We made sure we came together to make sure that child had plenty of family and love surrounding her. My cousin got her degree and an amazing job.
See that was her first mistake hooking up with a high school dropout. Wow, at least help that person go back and get their diploma or GED. If not cut them off lol.
I've seen that scenario alot....we definitely have to understand there are more options out there to pick from. at times we gotta just change our entire atmosphere.
This!!!!! I’m married now but back in my single days if I met a man with a child or children it was an automatic NO for me … married a childless man and we have a wonderful daughter together ❤
@@tshaolin971 I get there are outliers or exceptions rather but this isn’t the case of most men with children. A child that lost their parent experiences major loss which is traumatic. The ups and downs they will experience would need to be handled with care by a very patient soul and truth is…most people upfront aren’t willing to do that.
@@tshaolin971 YES! Correct! It’s still an automatic NO!! Weather he’s a widow or not my answer was no and I got what I wanted; a childless man that I had a child with, married as a family… and WE women think just fine sir 💅🏾
😂😂😂😂 this is the #1 lesson my grandmother taught me at a young age. She would say “don’t you mess with no man that has kids, especially if you don’t have any…. He don’t deserve to be with a child free woman and you don’t deserve to deal with that man’s drama.” 😂 and from that day forward if any man that tried to talk to me told me he had kids, I would instantly think that he was used goods and move on. Both my husband and I don’t have kids and that’s how we like it. We only want to focus on our family that we create together ❤.
It's not horrible advice however. Women, single mothers will shame a man to the ends of the earth if he says the same thing that he doesn't want to be with a woman that has kids that are not his.
Im a single mother and I agree. I didn't date men with kids EVER except once. Guess what happened...he proposed, I got pregnant AT 32 and then found out I couldn't marry him. Now look! I'm part of the single mother club too. Lol. I don't regret anything obviously my daughter is amazing, but there is wisdom here.
Pregnant now & wish I stuck to my word & never caved for someone with kids. He has already experienced his first child with someone else & thinks things will be the same for our child. It’s completely different for me & I regret it everyday, despite still being together. I’ve cried several hormonal nights thinking about it tbh. I feel the only way he will truly experience an ounce of my excitement is if it is boy. I don’t think I will marry him for this and a multitude of other reasons. Just don’t do this to yourself! My family doesn’t understand why I don’t plan on marrying him. I haven’t even met his daughters mother and here I am pregnant with her sibling. She visits our home, but her mother won’t take the time to meet me! Something I wish I could take back, but I was already pregnant long before noticing her excuse every time it came to meet.
I knew this girl who was child free. She married a man with 3 kids. And he lost his job and after a while they started garnishing her wages for the child support. And I had another child free friend who got with a man that had 2 teen daughters and they made her life a nightmare. They even jumped her once. Yeah it’s a no for me too.
I just turned down a man with four children. I’ve never had a man to show so much interest in a short period of time! He gets an A+ for texting good morning and good night on time. I’m single and my life is together. I bet if he didn’t have kids, he probably wouldn’t even be so persistent. They are very persistent when they’re carrying baggage. I’ve never met a single man with no kids who acted serious about trying to commit, or be in a rush, but this man with kids is ready to settle down and be a super husband.
@@misstruth1115 I like a man with kids and he likes me too and he soils me and send me money but he has 2 small daughters and he’s very sweet to me and we have a connection but I’m just 20 years old and I’m contemplating what I should do? They live in another state with their mom.
@@leeannareynolds8779 The Lord can bless you with a man without kids. You don’t have to settle. It sounds like he is taking advantage of you by luring you in with money and being nice. Remember, no one is nice for no reason. You’re young and deserve a husband and kids of your own. Don’t settle. He needs to go make things right with the mother of his child. Don’t tie yourself down
@@eulabell4871 right and I am a single woman with no kids. I'm done. I used to not care if he had kids or not because the school teacher in me was like come one come all but oooweee. After dealing with the blatant disrespect it's a hard no for me. You don't even need to bring your little "cousin" around 🤣🤸🏾♀️✌🏿
Yassss I can definitely say this is true. I truely find being single much easier. When I’ve dated men with kids it’s usually very chaotic, and feels like your in the middle of a family (which you are). i think people with kids need to leave us childless people alone, and work on fixing their family.
Women generally don't mind sharing the top 20% of men. And this is why stats show that their are more single women with children than men. Y'all never know what you want. You act noble in words but function differently in deeds. A good example is how women claim they only want a nice guy but when they do come your way you are quick to friendzone them for a pookie.
@@c.u.3940 right people act like couples with kids only breaking up for little things. Usually it’s a big thing. Because if they are mature they think about the children and try to figure it out. But when it don’t work it don’t work. Especially if someone is abusive or manipulating. It’s 2023. Let’s not sit here and shame people into staying in horrible relationships adults can figure it out and co parent and keep their personal lives separate
I love this chick. I'm not black, but I support her entire message. I live on the sister code, don't care what race or ethnicity you are. As females we have to have each other's backs period.
AMEN!!! I have an allergy to baby daddies. My baggage got to match his. Im not bringing kids to the table so don't bring no high chairs or car seats to mine!
I married a single dad. But I knew his story. Baby momma didn’t want to settle down and continued to collect other baby daddies 🤦🏻♀️ I love my step daughter, my husband of 11 years is a great dad, and we don’t have drama with the other momma. Thank God. Lol. Just make sure you are not inheriting drama or creating drama.
@@isaiahscurry7778 it's not delusion it's majority. Not all would get it right most won't and that's the problem. Nobody has to accept your choices or bastard children.
I also married a dad with a seven-year-old. First and only experience dating a man with a child. We’ve been happily married 11 years now and had one child together. It does work out without all the drama sometimes.
So what happens when you get into a relationship have a kid n it doesn't work...im sure you're gona be on the other side hoping a man understands ur situation lol...might wanna hold back those judgments
@@lili8686z I'm 37 years old. I've been responsible enough with my body to never let an unwanted pregnancy happen. And if it did happen, I definitely wouldn't allow it become an unwanted baby! I never wanted to be a single parent, and statistics show that I would have been if kids were involved. Deal breaker. Bottom line.
When my husband was single, he refused to date women with kids. I knew I was not going to ever date a man with children. So we have our children together. She is right! Keep the black family alive! Maybe if parents knew they would have few options for dating, they will work really hard to stay together or not get pregnant! 🤷🏾♀️
A woman with no kids should NOT date a man with kids. Period. Did it, never will again. He has no money because it's tied up in his kids. He will look to you to fill in his deficiencies. You are not a bridge over his troubled waters. Keep it moving sis.😂❤
My mom married my dad when he was a single dad raising both his kids. When he dated he didn’t bring the women around his children until he was serious with one (which was my mom). Not all single men with children have the drama. It’s about the people in the situation. it is a big responsibility to step in to a relationship with children.
My stepmom started dating my dad when I was 6 and she was 22/23. She’s been a second mom to me, she is absolutely a blessing and gave me two wonderful siblings. I’m currently dating a man with a daughter and I hope to be everything to her my stepmom was to me. And yeah, it’s hard. But blended families are beautiful. He committed to a child so what makes you think he can’t commit to you? Obviously if he has multiple with different women it’s another story, but being a “baby daddy” isn’t in itself a horrible thing.
Thankyou because my step dad accepted my mom and all 8 of her kids and my mom has like 3 babyfathers smh. It's like saying men with kids don't deserve love but a man should love a woman with kids and give her a chance? Everyone deserves happiness. Most of the time when a man had kids and he has one babymomma high chance he thought things was gonna workout with them it happens people make bad choices qnd some end up with kids with the person they didn't last with. I feel like if the person truly wants love and to settle done they not trying to make you the mother replacement for the kids and they just love you shit do it. Some people kids are horrible to be around but not all 🥰
She’s speaking facts. My mom told me the same thing. When I met my husband, we were both childless. We are now parents to a 19-year-old. #blackfamiliesmatter #twoparenthome
18 year old women here. Already getting shit for not wanting kids. Sticking strong to my decision. I really hope I can find a child free partner one day who won’t change their mind and leave me trapped. I also hope I’ll actually find friends who don’t want kids also because it’s so few and far between. I need my community!!!
It's definitely for everyone, but for some, it works. My ex-husband is the father of our kids. He started dating a girl with no kids and she is amazing. The kids love her I like her. We married young because the church told us to so our divorce was mutual. When we moved on one thing we agreed to was to respect one another's relationships. My husband and he are best friends and all of us take a family trip together every year. It's about the kids having a stable and loving life. It only works if you're dealing with mature respectful people. So I thank God for my husband. He came into this relationship with no kids. All parents are important to the betterment of the world. Especially when the ideal doesn't work out for most.
Same. I married my first husband when we were teens. We got along well, but in our late 20's we just realized we weren't the same as when we were young and divorced. My now husband had no kids when we married and my ex husband's new wife had no kids when she married him. We all get along and have zero drama and see our lives like we have a larger family
Yes 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 because it works. Living proof, you’re speaking nothing but facts because I’m happy, he’s happy and so are the grown/little ones. Can’t say kids because some are young adults. We made it.
I’ve been preaching this!! Child free women, save yourselves the drama and trauma that comes with being with a man that has kids and baby mamas!! Start your OWN family, with a man that can be ALL yours. NO sharing over here 🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️
My husband and I are childfree together. We've both watched members of our respective families divorce and remarry with the subsequent, blended families along for the ride. Drama does not begin to describe the half of it.
Me: oh snap homie well I really hope you work it out wit her lol but honestly, if you can’t make it work with the women that sacrificed her body to give you kids then what is you doin playboi???????
I ended up with an incredible divorced man with four children. I have no children of my own. Two of them I helped raise. We are empty nesters now and we’re traveling all over the world. He was a responsible parent. So it depends on the person you have chosen. I have a well educated one. There could be a hidden gem. Many women would not have taken on that challenge but I am so happy I did. We had little drama because we didn’t allow that.
@@isaiahscurry7778 nope!! her case is one in 100 not taking the risk, stop getting woman pregnant if you aren’t going to stay. Your child needs a family not you looking for woman out there. Use protection or better yet, don’t sleep with woman you don’t see a future with, that’s lust.
@@angie917 Tell these women stop opening there legs before marriage too... that would save alotta this stuff too, they let pookies and ray rays bust them down. tell the moms stop giving it up. IF ALL WOMAN said NO MAN IS GETTING SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE THERE WOULD BE ALOT MORE MARRIAGES!!!!
I feel this is a unique situation and it also entirely depends on the previous relationship (was he married or reckless) and did he actually play an active role (ie was he the custodial parent or have them for at least half the time). Add that to how the relationship ended, his financial standing at the END of the month and you can then make a sound decision.
As a woman who have a child. I highly recommend that you don’t date a man with kids. Although, I am the “cool baby mama” and ABSOLUTELY don’t want my baby daddy I have dealt with the baby mama drama at the hands of my EX and I will tell you I am traumatized! 😂😂 most of all I was fooled thinking it was all her when he was the problem. Run FOREST RUN when you see a baby daddy lol
@@jadesmith7983 it's looser behavior, they really don't care about being serious and just want themselves a piece. Or some do give a shi, and have the delusion he will leave his ex for her and then be faithful to her 😂😂 the pure ignorance
Of course. Not only is that girl code but it's wise. Less drama, less sh!ttiness, bad karma if you believe in that- cause it absolutely can be real. But most of all people be crazy out here, homewreckers get their property damaged or destroyed, loose their jobs and reputations or worse, hurt/killed because of a enraged and scornful ex. Is that worth it? For some fun with someone you're helping deceive, betray and hurt another/do their partners dirty? Naaah. I'm all the way good. People have it coming to em tho if they willfully participate knowing better. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, play stupid games win stupid prizes.
@Heaven Jones hey, it’s ok. I don’t judge others with children. Having children is a beautiful thing. Since I was like 13 tho, I knew I didn’t want any kids. 😂
The older i get people tell me I need to be open to this. Absolutely not. I live in the SF bay area where plenty of men were busy getting masters and PHDs and didn’t want to start fams until they’re financially stable. Some are late thirties and some are early 40’s. I notice people saying that to me come from smaller towns where its more popular to start a family younger in life. Not saying thats bad its simply not the story for me. Theres plenty of responsible men out there who are looking for childless women as well.
Yes girl !my brother is 33 A chief no kids got it together he’s own house and everything and I pray for him all the time that he find a women just like himself he deserve it ❤ & so do you . There out there
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!! I married later in life, I wish with all my heart that my husband was the man I had my children with! I'm also glad he doesn't have any kids cause I've been on both sides of the drama!
I meant I was not going to have children with anyone other than my husband. Thank God for His love, grace and mercy, because He made sure it happened for me.
I strongly agree! When I was childless I refused to seriously date a baby daddy. It wasn’t happening ! Why would I want to join a family when I could create my own ?!
I'm 53 years old, and I remember talking to a guy in my psychology class that I kinda liked when I was 20, and he was 25. He was tall, handsome and ex-military, but when he told me he had a little child I lost all interest in him. I'm not trying to get into a situation where a guy, and I are unequally yoked. I need someone who is in the same lifestage me! You're so on point with this one, because I think a lot of these guys are trying to trap stepmothers for their kids.
Facts! And I hate when people try to convince you to date men with kids 🙄 😒. I'll stay single before I settle for a used baby daddy. It may sound selfish and mean but I don't care about his kids and I won't pretend like I do. I enjoy my freedom and I'm not giving it up for some dude who can't control his hormones.
Have you noticed that women are here arguing with child free women who don't want baby daddies? They should go argue with the baby daddies who don't want single mums! Everyone is entitled to their own standards 🤷♀️
@@jsChelimo yea or just generally giving their own life story about how a bd worked for them (which is the exception, not the rule)...Only God knows what's in store for us all but you're entitled to feel the way that you feel. You're also entitled to think/feel differently based on your assessment of a person/situation down the line.
I was 33 and without children when I met my now husband. He didn't have children either. I knew if I was with a man with children from someone else, those children would come before me. Rightfully so if he's a good man and father. That said, I wanted to be first in my man's priorities, so I never entertained dating any man that had children.
A friend of mine never had kids, cause she never wanted to, and her current bf has two daughters. The thing is, they are both adults that live on their own. She doesnt have to worry about child support, baby mamas, or raising kids. Thats the only way it can work.
@@lili8686z No we can just date other parents. I never have nor ever will try to pursue a relationship with a child free man, it just doesn’t make sense imo, now if I’m available after mine become adults I would be open to the idea, but even then a CF man still wouldn’t be my first choice, I would go for someone that also has adult children themselves.
i have NO sympathy for any man or woman who has no children but gets involved with a person who does have kids, then the relationship heads south. NONE!
I definitely agree. I feel like that man has failed that woman in so many ways. Especially if he has more than one. How you get different women pregnant and never planned to commit. It’s disgusting
But she could have aborted the bitterness when she learned about his prior engagements and children. If I know a man has all these kids and strange baby mamas then why would I agree to that next.
@@nellygirl you acting like most men are upfront about the children they have . They don’t even disclose if they’re married . Wether or not the man has kids a not … the man is the person who determines who gets pregnant.
@@letsbereal7897 Yes it will. And, I will remain happy, successful, abundant, protected always and forevermore. Thank you for your energy. Have an awesome day.
@@offgridprincess133 lol why do you have to talk like that? Do you have “energy” when you type it? Why don’t/can’t you guys catch yourselves when you talk like that? manifestation madness, it’s just weird @ this point….outdated…
@@letsbereal7897 Thank you for asking. I have great unapologetic energy when describing my amazing, blessed life. I am not judging, jealous of or saying people who are parents don’t have amazing, blessed lives, nor do I think that I am better. I am just grateful to the Divine for my life scenario. I pray to stay humble, but unapologetic about living my single, childless life.
Facty, Fact, FACTS!!! I had a guy get mad at me that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore after he told me all about his “beautiful baby girl.” I said we can be cordial FRIENDS but I don’t date men with kids b/c I don’t have kids and don’t want the baby moma/baby daddy headache-even if y’all got a good relationship. He was sooooo offended
@@kimberlywalker_ right! 😂it’s the entitlement for me. They honestly created this mess. They made so many women single mothers involuntarily and now women who don’t have kids don’t want to deal with men who have a propensity to up and leave you high & dry 🥴
Same thing happened to me i was like noo im good. I tryed it twice when i was early 20s and it was baby momma drama. I nvr dated a guy with kids again and nvr will. Im single with no kids so i know theres still single guys with no kids out there as well Lol js.
I want to date men who don't have any kids. I have dated men with kids horrible experience. If a man wants to date me no kids. I don't have any. I'm not signing up for the drama.
She's not wrong lol. Guys have no problem calling single mothers tainted or "run-through" and damaged goods. But want the single, childless women to see them as a catch, a gem and hubby material. Yeah, nah. All I see is a vat of toxic sludge. Contaminated indeed! Coz at least the single mothers taking care of their kids. While the dude on the other hand running round acting single and unattached, trying to trap more unsuspecting females into having more kids with them. While they not even taking care of the ones they already got.
Yesss same ! My mother always told me never date a man with children because if he left one family he made he will do the same to you. They don’t even look good when they have a child.. Like nope
Very good point. My grandmother taught me the same lesson. And I lived by it to the T. My husband and I were both childless. We didn’t want that kind of drama.
Im confused why childfree women get hate at the same time baby mamas get hate and called low value And the more kids they have the less value they have. No matter what we do ,women will always get hate
You’re also going to be less of a priority to a (good) father. He has to worry about taking care of the family he already created before dating you. I think that’s why it often works out better when people with kids date other people with kids and just be a Brady bunch lol…they generally have a better idea of what they’re looking for in their next relationship and they’re more understanding that kids take priority because they are also raising little humans already.
When I first started dating my husband the first thing I asked if he had any kids because I didn't have any it is soooo much easier for both people to be childfree!!! 👏👏👏
This.. I was caught up in something like this earlier this year. 1 year into the relationship and I found out he's still married and has 4 kids! I found out because his wife was dragging my name through the mud & sending threats on social media and I didn't even knew until someone who knew the guy brought it up to me. Worst thing about it was, she lived in another state because they are seperated! Yet she knew everything about me and i didn't knew she & her kids existed. Do not date someone who has kids, it is drama! And do a thorough background check because these days people be lying hard & it can get you in serious trouble.
@ Kat Tracey those background checks are well worth the $$. All the lies and bs get exposed real quick, felony convictions several evictions identity theft credit fraud I've seen many red flags and 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ the other way immediately 😂
That’s actually what annoying me the most about dating guys with kids. That and the baby mama but I hate how they try to make you do mommy duties for the child 🙄. They want you to cook and clean for that child even when you childless and they got a mama.
@@janisemills1 my child is grown. I don’t need toddlers (love them to death but the crazy baby mama is a Simon Cowell “NO FROM ME”). I don’t want my house burned down. Thanks anyway!
@Amber Duh In this specific case the woman beat her older child and had over 15 dogs 🐕 shi++ing in the house I remember having my daughters birthday party at ten years ago, so this isn’t that kind of thing. This woman is a malignant narcissist and a con artist.
If u get married thats kind of the point...to take up mom like chores otherwise marriage is a waste ....i took care of someone child bfre and honestly i didnt care for the being "daddy" it was all bout making that child secure and teaching them what they were supposed to knw ... Nobody said u have to date em jus dont
Couldn't agree more! I absolutely will not date/marry men/man WITH kids! For me, I perceive it as drama (no matter how small) that I want no parts of!!
Funny that you say that and I have no problem with your standards that's cool I've seen at least four different posts by women shaming and putting men down for not having kids or for just having one kid they're trying to say it must be a man problem if no other woman finds him not interesting enough to procreate with so it's like she is shaming a man for being responsible
Agree with this 100% My dad was a single father, and told me that he only would deal with women with kids because single parents are the only one's who can understand single parents. As a man with no kids myself, I don't date women with kids. Don't have the time or resources for that.
Its fair for childless women to want childless men.
I agree but the only issue I see wrong here is that when a woman/female says it everyone raises their glass and cheers along with her but when a man say the same about single moms it's considered hate speech.
@@marcushennings9513 You are right.
Correct.
@@marcushennings9513 and it will continue to be so
childfree
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I'll never understand why single women with no kids date baby daddies it'll never make sense to me
Literally 😭 make it make sense😅
Bc majority of them have children unless you're dating them young
@@nessaboo232 not true statistically only 24% of black men ages 20-29 are fathers, and 41% 30-39 are fathers which more than likely means women keep having babies with men who already have kids while the single childless men get overlooked 🤷🏽♀️ we see that with the future's and nick cannon's 🤣🤣
Well it seems that some people don’t want to be on their own forever so they’ll settle for ANYBODY who comes along. However, I refuse to follow that same suit!! 😐🙅🏾♀️❌
@@queeniequeen949 Well that was an extrem assessment of blended families
When you date someone with a child or children know YOU will NEVER be number 1 in their life.
That part! Im tiiiired of taken 2nd seat
Well, these days there are lots of deadbeats out there who have absolutely no problem being in your face 24/7 because they have no job or place to stay. So.... he'll have all the time in the world to give you, but you'll have to become his momma. Ew... idk which is worse. 😩🤢
But if you expect to be number 1 you insane
Once you have a child with that child free man you won't be number 1 either
Weeeeeellll, most these "baby daddies" aint even taking care of they kids. That's why most them dudes on child support.
I will never understand why a lot of BW would settle for a guy with multiple baby mommas than a guy with no kids.
My sister dating this type of guy right now. He has one kid. Honestly, good luck with that. Couldn't be me.
Because most of them have children
Because most black males have baby mamas
@@8213apicedate other races their better partners anyways
*”I think child free women should date child free men.” Take that to the bank* 👌☝️✌️🤝👍
see the thing is a lot of people with children start out that way
I did and it led to marriage!
My daughter will not date a man with children. She has no children.
Period! Some of us have common sense.
Where are they?!!!
Is so true. I don’t date men with kids and the couple times I tried, it was chaos and drama. And childless men are out here ladies. They just be at work, and not in the club lol.
Ik that's right 😂😂😂😂
Girl same. The baby mama was sending me threats over Facebook and everything I said never again…
Girl that part!! I too tried dating baby daddies and let's just say that the baby momma didn't get the memo of co-parenting Smh
🤣🤣🤣 they be at work lol
Yep..all I do is work and chill at home
You said “he’s contaminated to me” you really flipped the script on men who talk sh*t about single moms but you are RIGHT.
They both contaminated how bout that Lmmfao
Men don’t talk ish about single moms. If men are saying no to women with kids is called talking ish about them then ok!
Flipped the script? That's how everyone should see it. Why would anyone without kids want to date someone with kids? It doesn't make sense. Not everyone is cut out to be a step parent
What's wrong with him that the baby mama didn't want him?
@@Beatem2deathinyoursexdreams👏👏👏
Don’t do it ladies. There are too many single childless men out here.
A guy got mad at me and blocked me because I told him I dont date men with kids. I laughed and continued on with my day.😂✌🏼
Power move!!!!
You’re doing yourself a great service lolz 😂!! Knowing you’re worth is everything !!❤
And then went to Starbucks totally unphased 😂
I said the same thing he tried to take me out and I said I don’t date guys wit kids and he blocked me, but I’m 19 and he wasn’t much older than me😂
@@Zvwry good for you. You're way too young to play step mom
“Child free women should date child free men.” Exactly.
Let the church say Amen....
When men say that about women with kids. Men get all kinds of backlash.
@@ricohall6124 maybe men needs to stop saying that she is damage goods or "never play another men game" or whatever, you guys are so cruel and disrepectful. Just say "you not my type" or "no", if she insiste ask why would happen if he was the one no taking no for a answer, that should do the trick.
@@larissagomes451 No matter how men say anything about or to a woman. Majority of women feel its disrespectful. But majority of women don't have a problem with being disrespectful to a man in how yall talk to them.
Both are at fault for doing that. Both need to practice what they preach.
@@ricohall6124 really? When a woman say she doens't date a man with kids it ends there she usually no more, but the dude straight up is verbally abusive when refusing a single mom, even going as far aa talk about her vagina is rotten.
This was meeeee sis, I have no kids so nobody I dated could have them, I'm married to a man with zero baggage ... I remember my aunties tried to convince me that it would be impossible ... GOD IS GOOD
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿. As a man with no kids, you're spot on. I wouldn't date a single mom either. Let single moms and single dads date each other since they're already parents. I myself rather date a woman with no kids.
As you should
As a child free woman, I dated several men with kids and the complications and drama were real! After that, I was like only if his children are grown. Then I met my husband who is also child free and don’t even have to deal:)
❤️❤️
Why did it take 7?...
I agree, when I was 19 I dated a guy that was 29 and lied about how many kids he had 🤦🏾♀️ it turns out he had 5 kids and 3 baby mamas and 2 of them and their friends stalked me and harassed me for a whole year. I had to get a restraining order to keep him away from me.
@@christopherstewart4596 Lol, dyslexia? She said several which could be less than seven.
Well I'm 28 my husband just turned 36. He has a child but he's a great dad. His son lives in Pennsylvania during the school year and with us here in NY during the summer. Me and his baby mother gets along great. And we communicate greatly. I, as the 28 year old have no children. His son is a teenager ( 15 ). You shouldn't judge until you get to know. I felt the same way until I met my husband. 6 years strong. He's an amazing man, protector, provider, and great dad to his son and our dog Bandit lol. Sometimes it's the men that YOU are choosing. I learned that along this journey.
"I believe in loyalty and I don't even got to know you sis" 💯 hes contaminated to me 😅🤣😂 I love everything about this
how is it disloyal to date a single man with kids I’m confused
@@her0807 Excess baggage. Unless the mother is out of the picture. And you are looking for an instant family.
If he is a good man and you are a good woman looking for kids... without the physical pain, bonus, lol. Gotta be serious when kids are involved 😉
No single childless female should want a male with a child and vise versa. Dating individuals who have children Ultimately makes you limit yourself and the things you can do in that relationship. Everyone single and childless the only limitations would be yourself. No 1 else can dictate your time
@@SuZ4242 Okay but what does that have to do with loyalty? Honestly this whole video just sounds like she doesn't want to be honest about the real reasons she doesn't want to date fathers. I don't want them either though so I'm on her side lol
@@her0807 It's not lol. I have no idea if she actually believes what she's saying or not.
I'm a child free woman and I won't date men with kids.
As a stepmom, I approve this message. Do not do what I did.
Dang…
@@Neyobe I love my husband, I love stepson but blended families are painful and hard regardless of how much you care for your spouse and stepkids. I think single parents should date single parents and childless people should date childless people. It’s better for everyone and just don’t realize it till you’re in the thick of it.
My mom is the same way. That man got 5 kids. She only had me and my sister. I STILL don’t know what she was thinking. But even as a young girl, I knew it was destined to fail. Smh
I dont know if this counts but both of my parents re-married people who didn’t have children. There are 13 kids between the 4 of them now. I would say we all blended quite well to the point that people cant tell who the bio sets are. We are all between early 20’s and mid 30’s now. We don’t use any other term for each other or our parents other than Mom/ Mama, Dad/Papa, brother/Sister each respectively.
When something happens we have always had 4 parents to rely on. They raised us equally and have been involved in nearly every aspect of our lives and now our children’s lives. I don’t know what would have happened if they had taken the advice and not gotten married.
@@LadyDisdain3 💯💯💯💯💯
The "He gon trap you neeeeext" is straight FACTS
you see this comment bothers me a lot because ladies keep saying that men will trap them. when ladies determine who impregnates them and who they have the baby by or abort the baby. ladies need to stop this victim mentality as if they don't control their bodies.
A child free man will do it just the same, no?
@@audyathome7515 Difference is you won't be 8th or 9th priority but 1st.
Until the kids are 18 ...it doesn't last forever.....stay positive
@@jamesndegwa6955 my child was my baby daddy's first and he now has 4 kids he doesn't take care of. Don't bank on it, protect your womb no matter what!
You know what’s crazy, a man with a child is so quick to judge a single mother and make sure to date Women with no children. But hide that they have kids and try to make it okay with you to be with them and play down that they don’t have baby Mama drama. Or how sorry they are and how they meant to tell you they had kids. Happened to me. His first question to me was if I had kids. But hid from me that he was an absent father of his own but it totally showed in time.
Then did just that. Kept hinting…why didn’t I have a baby with you…why didn’t I meet you before her….uhm no thanks you can’t trap me bye!
They are weirdo hypocrites
Yooo! I feel ya! I be like..gotta go buddy😂😂🤸🏽♀️
Totally weirdo hypocrites. I’m a single parent and totally understand why someone doesn’t want to date me, especially if they don’t have kids. I’ve personally stop talking to men who desired children (but had none), to look elsewhere. Even if I knew they just wanted casual s3x. Not worth my time.
But I have seen and know so many men who downplay or get ridiculously upset about women passing them for having children. I’m comfortable in admitting people without children are more desirable to most people. I don’t know why it’s offensive or why some men insist they’re so much better than single mothers. They’re not and I tell my adult daughter to steer clear of men with kids, as well as my son.
@@crystaloats8177 Honestly I think its selfish. Most men assume that all Single mother's are going to try to look for a Man to take the place of the Father and take on the duties, or that a Women is less desirable. When Single Mother's are mostly Superwomen and are able to separate their dating life from their Motherhood. I think "boys" steer away from single mother's because they want Women to date to "mother them." Those types of "boys" want to come first, they want to be taken care of, they want to be the child in the relationship and not the man. In my experience Single Mother's can hold their own. In my experience, the Male who got the female pregnant wants nothing to do with the kids, and all the responsibility falls on the female who gets pregnant.
Child Free Man here.
There are some men that have decided not to have children and we take it very seriously.
We're out here
ahhhh! let go!
Where?! 👀 lol
I remember overhearing 2 college seniors( 2 very attractive young Black women). And they were talking about their futures and how they would never marry a man who already had children. I will never forget hearing that conversation.
My mom told me “everybody got kids so you just gotta deal with it.” I said “I don’t! 🤪” and fucking left.
Lol..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Facts my mom said that too. I’m not gonna be a step nothing. I’ve met plenty of great girls but I’m not willing to do that tbh.
Did you leave cause grandma was taking care of your babies
It be your own people smh they have that lack mindset do not settle love
Yeah
I date the same exact way. Men bash women with kids, but never think their value goes down when they have kids…it does! “Go home to your child’s mother and marry her” is a line I’ve used on so many baby daddies.
That’s exactly what I’m saying. They look down on women with kids but don’t understand when a woman looks down on them for having baby mamas. And if you do decide to date someone with kids and they “trap” you, a man would take pride in the fact that other men see you as less desirable because of the kids he put in you.. SMH
True and to me men generally look worse because it looks as though he's abandoned his family or multiple families he's produced.
EXACTLY. It’s a pity women don’t tell these males they but the wall after kids like they do women.
@@LFranklya I am divorced and I won't date childless men. I also pay attention to the situation too. My ex won't bring drama and I won't date someone who has it either. If you can't co-parent or have 50 kids in 50 homes bye. And I think childless people should date other childless people.
@@micaelav8470funny how low men think of themselves. “I put a baby in you so now your value and worth has decreased.” He views himself as tainted and he views the child that he helped create as gross to him. Any man who speaks like this will automatically turn me off cuz of the explicit low self esteem.
Exactly, I didn't want a husband that already had children. I wanted both of us to build our family together.
As a man, I agree 100% with her.
Single parents should focus on dating each other, they get each others complicated life.
Adults with no kids like me should date adults with no kids, we get each other and we wanna at least try to start a family from scratch.
Exactly Sir. I encourage single parents to date each other and childfree people to date each other.
@@rarejewel9678 Seems like common sense lol. It would make everyone’s life easier. LOL.
say that!!
As a social worker I had a young client (age 26) with her first newborn. She was very soft spoken and kind. She’d just received her Master’s degree and had a new supervisory position making very good money. Her child’s father was a high school dropout with 2 different baby mama’s and he wasn’t paying child support. Now she was his third baby mama and their relationship was over. It’s been years since I met her but I often pray that she an baby are doing well and that she finally found someone deserving of her.
Sounds like my cousin. She got with a pookie and he dipped on her when was got pregnant. That didn't slow her down one bit. We made sure we came together to make sure that child had plenty of family and love surrounding her. My cousin got her degree and an amazing job.
She is a baby mama looking for who?
Yeah those are the men that we have to pick from
See that was her first mistake hooking up with a high school dropout. Wow, at least help that person go back and get their diploma or GED. If not cut them off lol.
I've seen that scenario alot....we definitely have to understand there are more options out there to pick from. at times we gotta just change our entire atmosphere.
This!!!!! I’m married now but back in my single days if I met a man with a child or children it was an automatic NO for me … married a childless man and we have a wonderful daughter together ❤
Same girl! Sameeeeeeeeee.
So if yal break up that’s it for you, you’re not looking at dating again?
The issue with you women is that you don’t think, so for example if he has a child and the mother passed away, it’s an automatic no ?!
@@tshaolin971 I get there are outliers or exceptions rather but this isn’t the case of most men with children. A child that lost their parent experiences major loss which is traumatic. The ups and downs they will experience would need to be handled with care by a very patient soul and truth is…most people upfront aren’t willing to do that.
@@tshaolin971 YES! Correct! It’s still an automatic NO!! Weather he’s a widow or not my answer was no and I got what I wanted; a childless man that I had a child with, married as a family… and WE women think just fine sir 💅🏾
Right. It’s called self respect. He needs to make it work with his baby mama! Keeping families together the correct way.
Sometimes shit doesn't work...can't force someone to stay w an abuser or someone they're not compatible with
My bm got pregnant by another dude when our child was still 1 that’s shit dead
She’s so child free and gleeful 🤣 you can hear it in her voice and I’m so happy for her 😆❤️😂
And be careful of the ones the lie and say they don’t have no kids. They will hide a child for years.😢
That is true ...
🤮🤮
😵💫
😂 the bitches with no kids are the easiest to get like it’s not even funny how easy they are 😂
@Sam Lindsay 🥴😫
9 times outta ten they still be messin around with the "baby mama"
That sounds like you're talking about your favorite smaller group of scumbags, then making blanket statements.
Facts
You mean the long time girlfriend he’ll never fully commit to. Got the whole town laughing….what a catch.
@@rhondajohnson4124 yep
Yep! Very wicked of these males
Yah, I only date childfree men. That's the most important commonality for me.
💯💯
The moment i know a guy has kids he is immediately less attractive...
😂😂😂😂 this is the #1 lesson my grandmother taught me at a young age. She would say “don’t you mess with no man that has kids, especially if you don’t have any…. He don’t deserve to be with a child free woman and you don’t deserve to deal with that man’s drama.” 😂 and from that day forward if any man that tried to talk to me told me he had kids, I would instantly think that he was used goods and move on. Both my husband and I don’t have kids and that’s how we like it. We only want to focus on our family that we create together ❤.
Wise Grandma
Different strokes for different folks lol
It's not horrible advice however. Women, single mothers will shame a man to the ends of the earth if he says the same thing that he doesn't want to be with a woman that has kids that are not his.
@@tiaquannewebb8702 its the other way around bruh. Society shames and humiliates single mothers where as single fatherss get praise and respect.
Until your man has kids with you then leaves you. Then dating someone with kids wouldn’t sound too bad by then.
I agree 👍🏽💯👏🏾 red flag is when he has five different baby mamas. Like he couldn't make it work with at least one?! 🙄
don't ignore the red flagssss lol
💯👏🏾
Some guys are trophy men because they are scumbags. Others may be the good dude that women tend to screw themselves out of.
Well, there is always a first baby mama. So it's not just enough to date child free. Have kids when you are married
@@HB-sc7wu yeah, because apparently, when you marry, you are guaranteed to be together until one or the other passes and divorce is a myth.
Been saying this my whole life!! Send that man back to his family. Stop swinging your pickle around and stay home and RAISE YOUR KIDS!!!
I just don't like children.
I don't want to ruin my free time with taking care of little screamers.
That's why I stay childfree.
Im a single mother and I agree. I didn't date men with kids EVER except once. Guess what happened...he proposed, I got pregnant AT 32 and then found out I couldn't marry him. Now look! I'm part of the single mother club too. Lol. I don't regret anything obviously my daughter is amazing, but there is wisdom here.
You’re great for sharing because young women need to hear that😊
Pregnant now & wish I stuck to my word & never caved for someone with kids. He has already experienced his first child with someone else & thinks things will be the same for our child. It’s completely different for me & I regret it everyday, despite still being together. I’ve cried several hormonal nights thinking about it tbh. I feel the only way he will truly experience an ounce of my excitement is if it is boy. I don’t think I will marry him for this and a multitude of other reasons. Just don’t do this to yourself! My family doesn’t understand why I don’t plan on marrying him. I haven’t even met his daughters mother and here I am pregnant with her sibling. She visits our home, but her mother won’t take the time to meet me! Something I wish I could take back, but I was already pregnant long before noticing her excuse every time it came to meet.
Same! Never appealed to me to date a man with children. Standards must’ve worked because I married a man with no children.
So being that you have kids, do you expect to be accepted by a man without them?
So you have two baby's daddies now huh??
I knew this girl who was child free. She married a man with 3 kids. And he lost his job and after a while they started garnishing her wages for the child support. And I had another child free friend who got with a man that had 2 teen daughters and they made her life a nightmare. They even jumped her once. Yeah it’s a no for me too.
Garnishing her wages? Yeah, that story sounds pretty suspect. They can't garnish your wages for a child that isn't yours. What state was this?
@@ca6248 husbands and wives will be held responsible for each other's debts.
@@ca6248 If they are legally married.. they can garnish his wife's check. They are one
@@ca6248 oh yes they can if you're married another reason to not marry a man with children if you don't have any smh
@baby_v6 so men need to stop having kids out of wedlock lol
I just turned down a man with four children. I’ve never had a man to show so much interest in a short period of time! He gets an A+ for texting good morning and good night on time. I’m single and my life is together. I bet if he didn’t have kids, he probably wouldn’t even be so persistent. They are very persistent when they’re carrying baggage. I’ve never met a single man with no kids who acted serious about trying to commit, or be in a rush, but this man with kids is ready to settle down and be a super husband.
Yup, they are persistent when they have baggage bc they need help looking after the kids.
@@misscamara12 I agree.
@@misstruth1115 I like a man with kids and he likes me too and he soils me and send me money but he has 2 small daughters and he’s very sweet to me and we have a connection but I’m just 20 years old and I’m contemplating what I should do? They live in another state with their mom.
@@leeannareynolds8779 The Lord can bless you with a man without kids. You don’t have to settle. It sounds like he is taking advantage of you by luring you in with money and being nice. Remember, no one is nice for no reason. You’re young and deserve a husband and kids of your own. Don’t settle. He needs to go make things right with the mother of his child. Don’t tie yourself down
Dude that's what's so scary! It's giving desperate. Like it makes no sense and is giving to good to be true.
I learned and luckily free and most importantly, CHILD FREE. I didn't get trapped 😂
😂😂😂 I'm child free and I have definitely learned that I'm not for a man who has kids.
This is a single woman with no kids code! Your speaking to a very specific group of women.
@@eulabell4871 right and I am a single woman with no kids. I'm done. I used to not care if he had kids or not because the school teacher in me was like come one come all but oooweee. After dealing with the blatant disrespect it's a hard no for me. You don't even need to bring your little "cousin" around 🤣🤸🏾♀️✌🏿
Same. Child free by choice and NOT willing to be step mommy.
Amen. Know thyself.
Yassss I can definitely say this is true. I truely find being single much easier. When I’ve dated men with kids it’s usually very chaotic, and feels like your in the middle of a family (which you are). i think people with kids need to leave us childless people alone, and work on fixing their family.
How they gon do that and smash you at the same time?
Fix there family ? Maybe they're co parenting and the baby mama has moved on and got married must he go back to her even then?
Sometimes the man is not worth getting back with, if a baby mama broke up with her abusive ex why should she get back with him?
Women generally don't mind sharing the top 20% of men. And this is why stats show that their are more single women with children than men. Y'all never know what you want. You act noble in words but function differently in deeds. A good example is how women claim they only want a nice guy but when they do come your way you are quick to friendzone them for a pookie.
@@c.u.3940 right people act like couples with kids only breaking up for little things. Usually it’s a big thing. Because if they are mature they think about the children and try to figure it out. But when it don’t work it don’t work. Especially if someone is abusive or manipulating. It’s 2023. Let’s not sit here and shame people into staying in horrible relationships adults can figure it out and co parent and keep their personal lives separate
I love this chick. I'm not black, but I support her entire message. I live on the sister code, don't care what race or ethnicity you are. As females we have to have each other's backs period.
AMEN!!! I have an allergy to baby daddies. My baggage got to match his. Im not bringing kids to the table so don't bring no high chairs or car seats to mine!
I married a single dad. But I knew his story. Baby momma didn’t want to settle down and continued to collect other baby daddies 🤦🏻♀️ I love my step daughter, my husband of 11 years is a great dad, and we don’t have drama with the other momma. Thank God. Lol. Just make sure you are not inheriting drama or creating drama.
THANK YOU! THE DILUSION IS INSANE IN THESE COMMENTS
THANK YOU!!! THE DILUSION IS REAL IN HERE
@@isaiahscurry7778 it's not delusion it's majority. Not all would get it right most won't and that's the problem. Nobody has to accept your choices or bastard children.
I also married a dad with a seven-year-old. First and only experience dating a man with a child. We’ve been happily married 11 years now and had one child together. It does work out without all the drama sometimes.
@@isaiahscurry7778there’s a standard is the point.
Start the right way if you can… it’s called using wisdom.
Children have always been an instant deal breaker for me. I'm child free for a thousand reasons, and your kids are just a few of them!
😁
🤣🤣🤣🤣
So what happens when you get into a relationship have a kid n it doesn't work...im sure you're gona be on the other side hoping a man understands ur situation lol...might wanna hold back those judgments
@@lili8686z I'm 37 years old. I've been responsible enough with my body to never let an unwanted pregnancy happen. And if it did happen, I definitely wouldn't allow it become an unwanted baby! I never wanted to be a single parent, and statistics show that I would have been if kids were involved. Deal breaker. Bottom line.
When my husband was single, he refused to date women with kids. I knew I was not going to ever date a man with children. So we have our children together. She is right! Keep the black family alive! Maybe if parents knew they would have few options for dating, they will work really hard to stay together or not get pregnant! 🤷🏾♀️
A woman with no kids should NOT date a man with kids. Period. Did it, never will again. He has no money because it's tied up in his kids. He will look to you to fill in his deficiencies. You are not a bridge over his troubled waters. Keep it moving sis.😂❤
My mom married my dad when he was a single dad raising both his kids. When he dated he didn’t bring the women around his children until he was serious with one (which was my mom). Not all single men with children have the drama. It’s about the people in the situation. it is a big responsibility to step in to a relationship with children.
Agreed 💕
My stepmom started dating my dad when I was 6 and she was 22/23. She’s been a second mom to me, she is absolutely a blessing and gave me two wonderful siblings. I’m currently dating a man with a daughter and I hope to be everything to her my stepmom was to me. And yeah, it’s hard. But blended families are beautiful. He committed to a child so what makes you think he can’t commit to you? Obviously if he has multiple with different women it’s another story, but being a “baby daddy” isn’t in itself a horrible thing.
most of them have the drama + this is a huge responsability
dating childfree is better
That part parenting is a responsibility that some have yet to grasp the meaning or visual understanding of. Can’t be childish raising a child 😂😂
Thankyou because my step dad accepted my mom and all 8 of her kids and my mom has like 3 babyfathers smh. It's like saying men with kids don't deserve love but a man should love a woman with kids and give her a chance? Everyone deserves happiness. Most of the time when a man had kids and he has one babymomma high chance he thought things was gonna workout with them it happens people make bad choices qnd some end up with kids with the person they didn't last with. I feel like if the person truly wants love and to settle done they not trying to make you the mother replacement for the kids and they just love you shit do it. Some people kids are horrible to be around but not all 🥰
She’s speaking facts. My mom told me the same thing. When I met my husband, we were both childless. We are now parents to a 19-year-old. #blackfamiliesmatter #twoparenthome
18 year old women here. Already getting shit for not wanting kids. Sticking strong to my decision. I really hope I can find a child free partner one day who won’t change their mind and leave me trapped. I also hope I’ll actually find friends who don’t want kids also because it’s so few and far between. I need my community!!!
It's definitely for everyone, but for some, it works.
My ex-husband is the father of our kids. He started dating a girl with no kids and she is amazing. The kids love her I like her. We married young because the church told us to so our divorce was mutual. When we moved on one thing we agreed to was to respect one another's relationships. My husband and he are best friends and all of us take a family trip together every year. It's about the kids having a stable and loving life. It only works if you're dealing with mature respectful people.
So I thank God for my husband. He came into this relationship with no kids. All parents are important to the betterment of the world. Especially when the ideal doesn't work out for most.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Same. I married my first husband when we were teens. We got along well, but in our late 20's we just realized we weren't the same as when we were young and divorced. My now husband had no kids when we married and my ex husband's new wife had no kids when she married him. We all get along and have zero drama and see our lives like we have a larger family
This 💞💞💞💞💞
Yea But he was an Ex husband not an baby daddy. Very different Values
Yes 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 because it works. Living proof, you’re speaking nothing but facts because I’m happy, he’s happy and so are the grown/little ones. Can’t say kids because some are young adults. We made it.
I’ve been preaching this!! Child free women, save yourselves the drama and trauma that comes with being with a man that has kids and baby mamas!! Start your OWN family, with a man that can be ALL yours. NO sharing over here 🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️
I’ve tried dating a single father. Never. Again. If his kids are still in the house and on his “payroll”, I’ll pass.
My husband and I are childfree together. We've both watched members of our respective families divorce and remarry with the subsequent, blended families along for the ride.
Drama does not begin to describe the half of it.
I really be like “make it work with ya baby moms” 😂😂😂
Me: oh snap homie well I really hope you work it out wit her lol but honestly, if you can’t make it work with the women that sacrificed her body to give you kids then what is you doin playboi???????
Same
I say the same thing. 😂😂😂
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Init ! Go back to your child’s mother 👉👉👉
I ended up with an incredible divorced man with four children. I have no children of my own. Two of them I helped raise. We are empty nesters now and we’re traveling all over the world. He was a responsible parent. So it depends on the person you have chosen. I have a well educated one. There could be a hidden gem. Many women would not have taken on that challenge but I am so happy I did. We had little drama because we didn’t allow that.
THANK YOU, THE DILUSION IS INSANE IN HERE
@@isaiahscurry7778 nope!! her case is one in 100 not taking the risk, stop getting woman pregnant if you aren’t going to stay. Your child needs a family not you looking for woman out there. Use protection or better yet, don’t sleep with woman you don’t see a future with, that’s lust.
@@angie917 Nobodys coming for you asking you personally to take any risks. Stay Single 😘☺
@@angie917 Tell these women stop opening there legs before marriage too... that would save alotta this stuff too, they let pookies and ray rays bust them down. tell the moms stop giving it up. IF ALL WOMAN said NO MAN IS GETTING SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE THERE WOULD BE ALOT MORE MARRIAGES!!!!
I feel this is a unique situation and it also entirely depends on the previous relationship (was he married or reckless) and did he actually play an active role (ie was he the custodial parent or have them for at least half the time). Add that to how the relationship ended, his financial standing at the END of the month and you can then make a sound decision.
As a woman who have a child. I highly recommend that you don’t date a man with kids. Although, I am the “cool baby mama” and ABSOLUTELY don’t want my baby daddy I have dealt with the baby mama drama at the hands of my EX and I will tell you I am traumatized! 😂😂 most of all I was fooled thinking it was all her when he was the problem. Run FOREST RUN when you see a baby daddy lol
I have to kids & when they was I didn't want to date a man with kids 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
All men need to stay away from single mothers.
This makes no sense, and you're just a hypocrite. You know that, right?
@@bladejordan1023 yes but I have the right too a preference my boyfriend has no kids
@@octaviawilliams9398 At least you're honest about it...I guess.
I have been saying this for years and people look at me like I’m a villain lol
I also will not mess with someone that's in a relationship or marriage with someone else.💕
And for sure if you don’t have children don’t date someone who does. It’s a waste of time. There’s no compatibility there.
This!! Too many women enjoy being side chicks. It's like they think they are better for getting a man that's already in a relationship. 🙄
Yes you right
@@jadesmith7983 it's looser behavior, they really don't care about being serious and just want themselves a piece. Or some do give a shi, and have the delusion he will leave his ex for her and then be faithful to her 😂😂 the pure ignorance
Of course. Not only is that girl code but it's wise. Less drama, less sh!ttiness, bad karma if you believe in that- cause it absolutely can be real. But most of all people be crazy out here, homewreckers get their property damaged or destroyed, loose their jobs and reputations or worse, hurt/killed because of a enraged and scornful ex.
Is that worth it? For some fun with someone you're helping deceive, betray and hurt another/do their partners dirty? Naaah. I'm all the way good. People have it coming to em tho if they willfully participate knowing better. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, play stupid games win stupid prizes.
27, Single, and childfree !! Nothing but facts and gems dropped in this video.
❤️❤️❤️
37 single and child free!!!!
@@nigerjenkins6372 LOVE it !
Same girl same. Same age and everything 😂
@Heaven Jones hey, it’s ok. I don’t judge others with children. Having children is a beautiful thing. Since I was like 13 tho, I knew I didn’t want any kids. 😂
I always say this ! Child free women belong with children free men ! Leave baby daddies aloneeeee !!!!
🤣🤣 preach! People be out here just welcoming chaos into their lives for no reason.
The older i get people tell me I need to be open to this. Absolutely not. I live in the SF bay area where plenty of men were busy getting masters and PHDs and didn’t want to start fams until they’re financially stable. Some are late thirties and some are early 40’s. I notice people saying that to me come from smaller towns where its more popular to start a family younger in life. Not saying thats bad its simply not the story for me. Theres plenty of responsible men out there who are looking for childless women as well.
Yes girl !my brother is 33 A chief no kids got it together he’s own house and everything and I pray for him all the time that he find a women just like himself he deserve it ❤ & so do you . There out there
That part!!!! 😃
Send me some of the early 40s to vet bestie
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾I love your comment!
Facts 💜
I don't want my own baby daddy so I get it sis 😂
😆
Oms
Right
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣
I am a child free woman in my mid 30s and don’t date men with kids anymore. I’ve tried and whew chile 😂 it is hell.
You are a breath of fresh air! Im a man with no kids waiting to have them with my wife. I approve this message!
This has always been a standard for me. I want to be a my guy and myself to experiences all of our firsts together
ICUUUU!
Preachhhh! Same here
Same with a few exceptions! I mean FEW
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!! I married later in life, I wish with all my heart that my husband was the man I had my children with! I'm also glad he doesn't have any kids cause I've been on both sides of the drama!
Unfortunately, that's what the first baby momma always thinks....
I meant I was not going to have children with anyone other than my husband. Thank God for His love, grace and mercy, because He made sure it happened for me.
Exactly. I had my two sons with their father, my hubby and now I am done!
Praise God girl
I strongly agree! When I was childless I refused to seriously date a baby daddy. It wasn’t happening ! Why would I want to join a family when I could create my own ?!
I'm 53 years old, and I remember talking to a guy in my psychology class that I kinda liked when I was 20, and he was 25. He was tall, handsome and ex-military, but when he told me he had a little child I lost all interest in him. I'm not trying to get into a situation where a guy, and I are unequally yoked. I need someone who is in the same lifestage me!
You're so on point with this one, because I think a lot of these guys are trying to trap stepmothers for their kids.
Facts! And I hate when people try to convince you to date men with kids 🙄 😒. I'll stay single before I settle for a used baby daddy. It may sound selfish and mean but I don't care about his kids and I won't pretend like I do. I enjoy my freedom and I'm not giving it up for some dude who can't control his hormones.
Nothing selfish & mean about it. Let folks deal with their own mistakes. Not your problem
Have you noticed that women are here arguing with child free women who don't want baby daddies?
They should go argue with the baby daddies who don't want single mums!
Everyone is entitled to their own standards 🤷♀️
@@jsChelimo yea or just generally giving their own life story about how a bd worked for them (which is the exception, not the rule)...Only God knows what's in store for us all but you're entitled to feel the way that you feel. You're also entitled to think/feel differently based on your assessment of a person/situation down the line.
@@minalove6582 it is so misleading!
I was 33 and without children when I met my now husband. He didn't have children either. I knew if I was with a man with children from someone else, those children would come before me. Rightfully so if he's a good man and father. That said, I wanted to be first in my man's priorities, so I never entertained dating any man that had children.
My feelings exactly!! I'm trying to be the baby not help raise one 👎🏾👶
Good point of view
This is my thinking as well. I wanna be FIRST lol😂
and that's exactly what we deserve, to come first!
Not mad at yall sistas. Keep your standards high
A friend of mine never had kids, cause she never wanted to, and her current bf has two daughters. The thing is, they are both adults that live on their own.
She doesnt have to worry about child support, baby mamas, or raising kids. Thats the only way it can work.
As a Childfree Woman, I Agree 🌷
I agree... As a child free man, I definitely Say No To Single Mothers!!!
So are they supposed to just be alone for the rest of their lives...lol
@@lili8686z i don't know and dont care... lol
@@lili8686z No we can just date other parents. I never have nor ever will try to pursue a relationship with a child free man, it just doesn’t make sense imo, now if I’m available after mine become adults I would be open to the idea, but even then a CF man still wouldn’t be my first choice, I would go for someone that also has adult children themselves.
@@RealJonIvy 😭🤣
All day everyday. I want a woman who has not been tampered with and create my own tribe with her.
Man, I wish someone had told me this!! The drama! The disrespectful kids! The baby moma with her hands in YOUR pockets...
😂😂💯
When you get involved with someone with children, you'll always be second fiddle.
i have NO sympathy for any man or woman who has no children but gets involved with a person who does have kids, then the relationship heads south.
NONE!
I definitely agree. I feel like that man has failed that woman in so many ways. Especially if he has more than one. How you get different women pregnant and never planned to commit. It’s disgusting
Ridiculous 😭
But she could have aborted the bitterness when she learned about his prior engagements and children. If I know a man has all these kids and strange baby mamas then why would I agree to that next.
@@nellygirl you acting like most men are upfront about the children they have . They don’t even disclose if they’re married . Wether or not the man has kids a not … the man is the person who determines who gets pregnant.
Irresponsible and he needs to grow up.
You got me at the end. Woah didn't see that coming. Deadass fact
I am a single, childless woman and I approve this message.
PEACE!
Agreed 👍🏽 I’m agreeing because I too are childLESS…
Time will tell lol
@@letsbereal7897 Yes it will. And, I will remain happy, successful, abundant, protected always and forevermore. Thank you for your energy. Have an awesome day.
@@offgridprincess133 lol why do you have to talk like that? Do you have “energy” when you type it? Why don’t/can’t you guys catch yourselves when you talk like that? manifestation madness, it’s just weird @ this point….outdated…
@@letsbereal7897 Thank you for asking. I have great unapologetic energy when describing my amazing, blessed life. I am not judging, jealous of or saying people who are parents don’t have amazing, blessed lives, nor do I think that I am better. I am just grateful to the Divine for my life scenario. I pray to stay humble, but unapologetic about living my single, childless life.
Absolutely! I am 26 with no kids and pray for my husband to not have kids yet lol
If you have a child with someone. That becomes your partner...FOREVER (Unless that person dies)! Choose well men and women.
Facty, Fact, FACTS!!! I had a guy get mad at me that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore after he told me all about his “beautiful baby girl.” I said we can be cordial FRIENDS but I don’t date men with kids b/c I don’t have kids and don’t want the baby moma/baby daddy headache-even if y’all got a good relationship. He was sooooo offended
Good. Let him be offended. They don't care how they offend us all day every day. I'd have asked him if he wanted some cheese for his whine.
@@kimberlywalker_ 😭😭 like you want some gouda or cheddar😂
@@kimberlywalker_ right! 😂it’s the entitlement for me. They honestly created this mess. They made so many women single mothers involuntarily and now women who don’t have kids don’t want to deal with men who have a propensity to up and leave you high & dry 🥴
@@kimberlywalker_facts!!!
Same thing happened to me i was like noo im good. I tryed it twice when i was early 20s and it was baby momma drama. I nvr dated a guy with kids again and nvr will. Im single with no kids so i know theres still single guys with no kids out there as well
Lol js.
YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE! I TEACH MY DAUGHTERS THE SAME WAY. DATE SOMEONE WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE ALOT OF TIME THEY STILL BE SLEEPING WITH THEM.
💯👏🏽👏🏽
Same Rules Apply to Me As A Men We On The Same Page, If Your A Women With Baby Daddy Issues Don't Even Smile My Way.
I want to date men who don't have any kids. I have dated men with kids horrible experience. If a man wants to date me no kids. I don't have any. I'm not signing up for the drama.
"Contaminated to me"...I'm dead...🤣😂
😂😂😂🤭
She's not wrong lol. Guys have no problem calling single mothers tainted or "run-through" and damaged goods. But want the single, childless women to see them as a catch, a gem and hubby material. Yeah, nah. All I see is a vat of toxic sludge. Contaminated indeed! Coz at least the single mothers taking care of their kids. While the dude on the other hand running round acting single and unattached, trying to trap more unsuspecting females into having more kids with them. While they not even taking care of the ones they already got.
@@notoyaarthur1990 we honor mothers that’s why we ain’t dating their baby daddy 😂
@@TeraChantelle Facts 💯
Not you but women are contaminated as well it’s that funny 😂
Yesss same ! My mother always told me never date a man with children because if he left one family he made he will do the same to you. They don’t even look good when they have a child.. Like nope
Very good point. My grandmother taught me the same lesson. And I lived by it to the T. My husband and I were both childless. We didn’t want that kind of drama.
Im confused why childfree women get hate at the same time baby mamas get hate and called low value
And the more kids they have the less value they have.
No matter what we do ,women will always get hate
You’re also going to be less of a priority to a (good) father. He has to worry about taking care of the family he already created before dating you. I think that’s why it often works out better when people with kids date other people with kids and just be a Brady bunch lol…they generally have a better idea of what they’re looking for in their next relationship and they’re more understanding that kids take priority because they are also raising little humans already.
When I first started dating my husband the first thing I asked if he had any kids because I didn't have any it is soooo much easier for both people to be childfree!!! 👏👏👏
Period! Why should anyone date someone who can't give them their time???
Facts me and my wife were both child free .
This.. I was caught up in something like this earlier this year. 1 year into the relationship and I found out he's still married and has 4 kids! I found out because his wife was dragging my name through the mud & sending threats on social media and I didn't even knew until someone who knew the guy brought it up to me. Worst thing about it was, she lived in another state because they are seperated! Yet she knew everything about me and i didn't knew she & her kids existed. Do not date someone who has kids, it is drama! And do a thorough background check because these days people be lying hard & it can get you in serious trouble.
@ Kat Tracey those background checks are well worth the $$. All the lies and bs get exposed real quick, felony convictions several evictions identity theft credit fraud I've seen many red flags and 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ the other way immediately 😂
You never went through his phone did you
LMBO dang 🤣💀
Lie for nothing like why, tho.
You should have had his wife thrown in jail
Child free women should date child free men.....no smoke, drama, headache, death or destruction.....
Yes, child free women should date child free men! Period. And at all times practice safe relations!! Don’t get pregnant!!
9 times out of ten they want you to be the kids new mommy because the ex is always “crazy” 🙄 in their eyes.
Yikes😭
That’s actually what annoying me the most about dating guys with kids. That and the baby mama but I hate how they try to make you do mommy duties for the child 🙄. They want you to cook and clean for that child even when you childless and they got a mama.
@@janisemills1 my child is grown. I don’t need toddlers (love them to death but the crazy baby mama is a Simon Cowell “NO FROM ME”). I don’t want my house burned down. Thanks anyway!
@Amber Duh In this specific case the woman beat her older child and had over 15 dogs 🐕 shi++ing in the house I remember having my daughters birthday party at ten years ago, so this isn’t that kind of thing. This woman is a malignant narcissist and a con artist.
If u get married thats kind of the point...to take up mom like chores otherwise marriage is a waste ....i took care of someone child bfre and honestly i didnt care for the being "daddy" it was all bout making that child secure and teaching them what they were supposed to knw ... Nobody said u have to date em jus dont
Couldn't agree more! I absolutely will not date/marry men/man WITH kids! For me, I perceive it as drama (no matter how small) that I want no parts of!!
NO PARTS SIS😂💯
💯💯
Funny that you say that and I have no problem with your standards that's cool I've seen at least four different posts by women shaming and putting men down for not having kids or for just having one kid they're trying to say it must be a man problem if no other woman finds him not interesting enough to procreate with so it's like she is shaming a man for being responsible
Do not ever let any man change this thought process. It is drama from the baby momma and ungrateful ass kids.
It's up to you because I never dated know men with kids
Agree with this 100% My dad was a single father, and told me that he only would deal with women with kids because single parents are the only one's who can understand single parents.
As a man with no kids myself, I don't date women with kids. Don't have the time or resources for that.
You got to be a unicorn. Over 20 and No kids??
Lmmfao 😆😆😆
Wish i had this talk in my 20's cuz the ONE time I dated a bd, he just added me to the single mother club
Sis. Everyone makes mistakes. The question is did you learn from it Stay blessed 😇
Same here😂😂I tell my sister don’t do it. She’s childless and absolutely beautiful. Sissssd learn from me lol don’t do it.
Same lmaoooo smdh
Welcome beloved. We're learning and healing over here. We got this! And that's on Mary had a lil lamb ok.
@@villiageisnuts ❤ cuteeeee and you’re doing great