@@queeniequeen949sometimes intentionally as well. My aunt couldn’t naturally conceive because her husband had health issues that he wouldn’t take care of. She forced a family and adopted three kids and he passed this year. Now these kids are more traumatized and shes a widow. The signs were there.
One thing I appreciate about childfree people is that they’re being HONEST. A lot of parents have been and are still lying to themselves about the real effects of the choices they made, and some of them are choosing to try and guilt child free people instead of accepting that their life is what they chose! I have three of my own who are my absolute hearts, but I also know three is my limit, and I completelyyyyy understand why some people don’t want kids at all. It’s a lot of hard work and a lot of sacrifices made when you’re an actual GOOD parent.
I know people who have no jobs, no homes, nothing but a mattress on the floor and they're pregnant. It is a joke. How could you bring a child into poverty? People sicken me
I’ve decided at 27 to officially be childfree and single. Growing up I always assumed I’d be married first BEFORE I have children. The older I got the less I wanted to do these things. I’ve seen a lot of women have babies without the support of their children’s fathers and I don’t want to have to go through that. I was raised by a single mom and my bio dad left before I was born. I remember she told me that men change their minds all the time about wanting to raise families. It’s honestly the BEST birth control for me. I remember being so affected by not having a dad that I wanted to take my own life. It’s not a good feeling to wonder why my dad doesn’t want to be a part of my life. It’s not good to feel unwanted because of not having a dad. I can’t imagine going through pregnancy and childbirth only to have to raise a child by myself, even if the man was there. There’s no guarantee that the potential husband/children’s father will always be there because he could either walk away or pass away. I’m still expected to take on the responsibility of child rearing either way. These things are still happening and nothing seems to be changing. In addition to that pregnancy and child both scares me because as a woman of color I’m more likely to have complications or die from it according to statistics. For these reasons, there will be NO kids for me. I come from a family of single mothers. I NEVER want to experience pregnancy and being a single mother. The cycle of single motherhood ends with ME!!!!
I was raised by a single mom. My dad was around but we saw him only when he wanted to. So, basically, my mom did everything, chores, cook, work, care, etc. I remember my childhood being really poor, I remember sitting in the car while my mom raced, running after work, from picking us up from school cause the pay bill store was closing to pay only $20 on our electricity bill when it was $100 and then begging the electricity man to keep the store open for 5 more minutes. I remember my mom always being stressed. She always had to clean floors or sweep, always had to fix something that was broken, always had to cook dinner, and hardly ever got any rest or sleep. I watched my mom while we were shopping put back fancy estee lauder makeup that she loved and wanted because we couldn't afford it. I watched my dad ask my sibling to ask my mom for $5 and us kids asking "why do we have to ask mom for money dad? can't you ask her yourself?" cause (i learned when i got older) he wanted to go to the bar. I watched my mom fill her own stocking on Christmas with a toothbrush and socks (to match ours), and our dad did not do anything, just showed up in a santa hat and ate our food, he didn't even bring presents cause he was poor too. I don't wanna put a kid through that, not when I lived it.
@@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke If you can afford to do so, have a good job, and well off life, then no, it's not wrong. It's only wrong if you can't afford to do so and selfishly barely have enough for you... For example, growing up my mom cooked for us kids. She'd cook spaghetti. I'd then see my mom had no plate of food and ask "Mom, where is your plate of food? Where is your spaghetti?" My mom would respond "I'm not hungry right now dear. :)" or "I already ate dear." (lies so that we would eat our food. The truth was she'd not eat at all. She'd have a piece of bread after we went to bed.)
Holy 💩!! These women were Dropping Gems en masse. Never wanted children, no regrets. NONE. The saying that I would rather regret not having kids then regretted having them, SLAPS Hard. Shoutout to my sisters! Warmest embrace.
I made the choice to be childfree because of my childhood my mother mostly raised me and my brother by herself I saw how she struggled plus because of the trauma of went through I don't want to repeat the cycle of dysfunction like my parents did
Same. You are not alone and your choices are valid. ❤ We are breaking generational curses and those who don’t understand that are the people who will never have to make such a gut wrenching choice, or the ones who are doomed to repeat their own generation’s curses because they can’t see the woods through the trees…
I've always been on the fence with children. I love kids... I think there's moments of pure love that you can only get from being a parent.... But I just don't want to be a parent for all the other negatives. People speak about children like they're the easiest choice in the world. It terrifies me. I'd rather spend my time being obsessed with nieces and nephews and exploring this world around me. I know a part of me will regret the road not taken... but I will also know I chose this other path for legitimate reasons.
Words mean nothing when reality is very different. I work with mothers at my job every day. There's no way I want kids. Those cute and cuddly moments are few and far between. I get can that from my pets. It's the same thing.
chose to be childfree cause you never know if your partner will be supportive or no. Having kids would make me miserable af, trigger my childhood traumas and I potentially could start to hate the kid and reject him/her. Id rather not hurt innocent that had nothing to do with my abuse and all kids deserve to be born in families where they are loved and taken care of. My sibling were lucky and her husband participate childcare 50/50 but I can see they are both very tired and struggle...
That’s the same reason I chose to be child free. I’d rather die first than to raise a child with NO SUPPORT even if I was married. My mom had me at 16 and was a single mom. I didn’t have a relationship with my biological dad for most of my childhood so I wouldn’t want that for my potential kids.
Key component is family is teamwork. Life is a mortal burden. Even as an orphan I know I’m responsible for any all choices I’m able to make w proper Intel! Do not be troubled sometimes ppl are removed for Greater good to enter!
What about the women who went into motherhood with a supportive loving partner? Who went in with financial resources? How are they doing ? Is it still hard even with help? These all sound like women who went into it unprepared, but what about the prepared couples? How is it then?
YES! I’m happily married with kids that we wanted, but it’s still hard and my husband is extremely hands on. It’s more than physical labor and finances that need to be considered. Mental and emotional health is something that sooo many people overlook. Knowing that they’re absolutely not gonna have the same freedoms that they had before, people really underestimate this part. Family dynamics, how to raise them, how to deal with unexpected challenges that may come up like your kids having physical or intellectual disabilities and so much more!
I think an accident baby is just another way of saying it wasn’t planned. Not “whoops I had unprotected sex and refused to acknowledge the risk of pregnancy”. I think everyone who has unprotected sex understands the risk. An accidental pregnancy should technically be called an unplanned pregnancy. And yeah some people do find excuses, of course. But I think if we refer to it as unplanned, it simply would be a fact.
Shouldn’t we be supporting women who stop sleeping with men? Why are women turning on children as a means of “empowerment”? I respect the women who become celibate and frame it as abstaining from men rather than make it a point to talk about how they don’t ever want to be a mother but still want to sleep with whatever man comes their way. Feminism was never about shunning children it was about taking a stand against disrespectful men and women who perpetuate the toxic patriarchy that has destroyed this world.
Choosing Not To Have Children Isn’t The Same As “Turning On Children”.. The Choice Is Empowering Because Many Are Led To Believe They Really Don’t Have A Choice In This Society.. Having & Enjoying Sex Isn’t The Problem.. People Who Don’t Want The Responsibility Of Parenting Shouldn’t Then Stop Having Sex Because The Holier Than Thou Folks Think It’s Pointless.. I Try Not To Say Thoughts Like Yours Are Stupid, But They Are.. 🤷🏽♀️
Hi, welcome to the 21st century! You clearly have many cognitive distortions and I know this century can be terrifying for time travelers. Don't worry, I'm here to help. Fun fact: Did you know some women only have s3x with their chosen romantic partner and not all child free women are promiscuous/ sleep with every man they see? I know, it boggles the mind. It's so odd that women can now make decisions for themselves. They even have *gasp* autonomy. Also, we now have a plethora of birth control options available for men and women. So people can have as much s3x as they like without having to worry about pregnancy and STIs [you should still be mindful]. It may take you a bit to adjust to our new found ways, but I have faith in you. Ffs, how is not wanting to procreate the same as turning on children that child free women don't have?...but I do agree with your stance on supporting lesbians. We need more people to support lesbians.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting children and having responsible sex with whomever women want. This is the 21st century, not the Middle Age. Sex is not meant just for procreation but also for our own pleasure. You should try it. Maybe you would be more open-minded. Don't bother to reply with more nonsense. I don't get notified.
@@Ella-te7fe I'll reply to anyone since you h ave a lot to say but you're too cowardly to face the replies. Yes sex is for pleasure, especially for a woman but having sex with multiple partners is what leads to children in broken homes considering condoms and birth control is not 100% protective. DUH
This is such a powerful message. Take it from a mum who didn’t want kids. But allowed the pressure of family and partner change that. You will always end up regretting it. Especially when challenges arises. If you don’t want kids stand firm and stick to it. Also find a partner who doesn’t also want kids. Children don’t make u happy. Happiness is really from within.
I wish more women understood that they cannot not let their "biological clock" dictate their lives! Please, don't forget to be all encompassing in thinking about parenthood. Can you even afford to have a child? How supportive is your partner? Think about the world your bringing your child into. Unless you can be objective, your kid is going to keep you anxious 24/7 no matter how old they get.
I'm not gonna put myself through shit to be a mom.. All of the unpleasant body changes, passing my emotional issues onto them and resenting my child and it's father? No fucking ways , I never ever want to be a mom or being around pro-children people.
The sad part is they cant say it out loud. They are supposed to fake it, fake being happy to be a parent, tell other people how amazing it is even though deep down you wish you could go back to the day you slept with that person without protection
I have a coworker that has two beautiful daughters I just asked her to give me three reasons why she wanted to have kids and she only came up with one and that’s “compassion” I don’t think that’s enough reason to convince me from choosing to be child free 😂
And it doesn't need to be our own/step/adopted children -- seeing kids and teenagers with a healthy, wealthy and loving parents easily gets love, support and all their needs fulfilled while we had to fight tooth and nails just to survive is triggering AF. Have to remind myself constantly not to get jealous -- it is really that bad.
ummmm child care is literally college tuition... Soooo Yeah...The cost of food? the cost of living? I told my daughter if she didn't want to do it, I'm good with it..
I’ve had employers dump extra work on me, because the parents I worked with couldn’t complete it. I’ve met women who’ve drilled with questions about why I’m ok with just my cats are solitary life. Those same women have admitted that they’re envious of me going home to a quiet and clean house.
Interesting about the question: who benefits from us having children? I would not even say that the fathers benefit much more from it (besides some imagined ego thing regarding their "legacy" and perhaps a means keep the woman around) but capitalism benefits the most. Corporations benefit. Families are the highest consumers and we are basically birthing ever new generations of corporate slaves for the industries.
This is an underrated comment. For those of us who actually pay attention, the corporate enslavement of the family is very evident. There are even a number of mom and family vloggers right here on RUclips who are so compromised that their channels are unwatchable and cringe. These are the moms whose vids are all sponsored; if their lips are moving they're selling you something. I try to avoid these channels like the plague.
I would just like to point out that it’s perfectly natural for women to not want children. It is a very individual thing, not a gender specific thing. Even in the animal kingdom, some females make TERRIBLE mothers. So the babies have to be removed because the mom is a threat to the baby. Men better drop the “all women want babies” rhetoric
Postpartum depression just sounds like regret to me, but we’re not ready to have that conversation. It’s lifelong because the parent does not love their child and they regret having them. 😢
@@nat9419 I would agree with that. I think there are other issues as well as chemistry. One cause of post partum depression could be due to social isolation, loss of physical and financial independence, lack of emotional support for women and children in society, and other socio-economic factors. When we embraced nuclear families we really messed up. Tribal societies, with strong supportive extended families, are the way to go. Combine all these social problems (which affect chemistry) with pregnancy and child birth imbalances, and it's vicious. I'm surprised that women ever decide to have children. I say that as a mother of three. It took a lot of courage for me to do what I did, with only myself to rely on. Through a lot of hard work, my kids are thriving.
If you are financially, psychologically, mentally, emotionally ready to have kids and that's your dream, go for it. But not everyone has the same dream regardless if they posses all or most of the above mentioned factors. Most importantly if any of the factors above are missing, then don't have kids.
Because your Dr tells you that you can't get pregnant without fertility treatment because you have endometriosis and PCOS and you go years without ever getting pregnant, so you think you're safe. I'm speaking from experience.
I'm so glad I was allowed to choose not to have children. But I'm also glad I live in a socialist society because I was allowed to start my own business and be a successful independent woman.
I want children but not only can I not afford one but I would have to go off my antidepressants for 9months and would have a 90% chance of developing suicidal post pardom depression.
@freeinghumanitynow where in my comment did I say a baby would cure my depression? I said the litteral opposite, I said a baby would cause me suicidal depression because I would have to go off my meds for 9months.
Yes!! I'm a mom and was a single mom for a long time. It's hard!! I almost died during pregnancy and had a traumatic birth experience as well. I support child free by choice women!! I will never push my daughter to be a mom!! It's up to her!!
This is so true. You either want to be a mom or you don't. I always wanted children. I was disappointed that I only had one. Now that he is grown, I am getting back to the freedom I enjoyed before I became a mom. Do I regret him? Absolutely not. Am I glad to get back to me? Absolutely. You will always be a mom. However, you do stop raising children after they become adults.
We are free to do what we like as long as responsible about it. Having said that, I've seen so many parents who keep saying "Children are a blessing" but they're losing teeth ( poor moms having to breastfeed without enough food) and always have sickly, less educated kids because they chose to have children but did not plan how to properly raise and provide for the children. Children may be a blessing but are you a blessing to children or a cause of pain?
As a childfree woman, my choice has nothing to do with a man. I could have the greatest man in the world who would be an excellent father. I just don't want kids.
It's happens cause there are measures in place that make it very difficult for women to use birth control effectively and if you want to just tie your tibes forget it cause doctor out right refuse my mother had 6 kids and was married in her thirties and they refused her. She went on to have two more one almost killed her and the refused with 8 kids by 36 with a husband and they refused. My father ended up getting a vasectomy after she begged him and that baby almost killed her and he realised he might end up raising us alone.
Had my first child at 20. She was born with servere learning disabilities, autism and epilepsy. The past 20 years have been very hard. Put her into assisted living this year and finally getting some life back. I love my kids but yeah, dont do it 😂
@@azureavocado5195 Why is it that typicals pull out the “she didn’t even have to be here line” only when someone isn’t one of you? I’m sure you’ve had struggles, pain and suffering in your life of different varieties. You didn’t have to be here either 🙄 Can you be a little bit more sensitive with your phrasing like damn… you do realize some of us with YT accounts are autistics with learning disabilities right?
@@maenad1231Steve jobs was born to addicted mom and look at the man he became! That one has a fighters spirit and I embody greatness of role models who gone before me!! Bible is great I also love heroes both small and great Nobody is too broken to be helpful! My top 3 role models are Samels K, Steve Jobs and Rosa Parks!
it is always a risk that they could have disabilities. I don't think I could handle that. they would also look after you in old age as many parents want that
So I hate big cities. Living somewhere like NYC is my nightmare and I would hate it, and if anyone told me, “Just move there, you’ll love it,” and I listened, I would not be happy. Same thing with kids. I like caring for others. I like kids. I like all of it. It’s other’s nightmare. Stop trying to make people live their nightmare.
It baffles me just how much disregard and negligence there is towards women in the medical field. Like seriously mind blowing how half of the populaiton is neglected medically, for no good reason.
Yeah it's pretty awful. America let's women down. As in we are dying because the medical profession is about making money for insurance companies and Big Pharma meanwhile neglecting care. Nurses and Docs are actually pretty damn good, it's the hospital/health care industry that is bigger concern. I had my son 23 years ago and they royally screwed up. Lucky to be alive. Women still die in childbirth and that is unacceptable in US!!!
Birthing women are treated like cattle, and it seems like they like it. Ie A lot of vaginal ultrasounds are actually unnecessary. But they violate and denigrate women anyway. .. And women keep signing up for MORE. I just don’t have any words left to say …
I'm 23 and I want children one day, but only once i'm married and in a good place financially. Even then, I know it will be a struggle. Enjoying my single season and waiting on God❤
How can three pregnancies be an accident? It was obviously intentional. Use birth control. That will stop it. Nobody in my family ever had a child by chance, it was by choice. If you don't want children, then that is their choice and there are many reasons why. Two of my sisters have chosen, along with their partners, not to have children and they have been together for over 20 years and have never regretted it. If you want to have children, plan for them, don't let them be an "accident" or an "oops".
That’s kind of your L, for Birthing a DAuGHter in such a hostile environment to begin with. And then teaching her nothing about sex ed, so that she would end up pregnant at that age OR failing to protect her from the assault that created the pregnancy.
Also a thing to think about is child support. I have 5 siblings. Theres 3 baby daddies and my step dad. Th one guy who stayed. Noneo th other three paid child support. Ones in jail so "it'd be like bleeding a rock" one refused and the other was a drug addict. The one that refused only started to pay when his kids were 16 and 17 so at that point why tf does it matterif he isnt back paying
I have three children, I wanted to be a parent in the beginning and I still want to be a parent now. I completely support child free women. Good for you, ladies!
Absolutely.I am all for parenthood and I love it but it’s so important that the childfree option is recognised as being just as noble and valid a lifestyle choice as parenting.
Love your content . I was hoping that after seeing the rise in red pill incels that women would start producing similar content but exposing the actual truth.
BEAUTIFUL MOTHERS❤ We love and respect you so much we know we could never do what you do. We reserve the utmost respect for you sisters! Don't let the bull shit divide us. We are all women❤
Any mom should be hoping other mothers are childfree?!? More resources for them??? More daycare and school spots??? More future jobs for their children?
1:10 this white woman had THREE accident babies, said she loves her children, she would die for them in a heartbeat, she didn't think she wouldn't want to be a mom, and she can't imagine life without them, but then she says if you don't have kids, "Don't do it" . WTF? She is literally the person I would NEVER take advice from. She's talking out of 2 sides of her mouth. That clip invalidates all the other videos
I think it makes a lot of sense. You can absolutely love and adore your children but also realize the financial, emotional, and even physical stress that add to your life. I think she's just trying to prevent other women from ending up with a bunch of kids and struggling financially because they didn't foresee the not so great consequences that come with having and raising children
Motherhood isn't so black and white though, and that's the point. Motherhood and having children has always been portrayed as some beautiful, perfect thing, when in reality it is really taxing on most parents. There is a grey area where I'm sure most honest parents would agree to, where you can absolutely love your kids but their needs and the requirements of raising them absolutely drain the parents.
As a Mother of 3, I think she meant unplanned. I can understand the first being an "accident" but you can prevent that from ever happening again if you wanted. Tubal ligation is permanent!
If you can provide a stable and loving home then definitely have kids. If you can’t raise them then give them up for adoption. There are many loving parents out there who would love a chance.
There is a lot of pain and abuse in the foster system in many countries too, though. Children who are older or have some type of disabilities, trauma or behavioural problems may never get adopted. In theory, adoption is a great option of course. But let's also face the fact that abortion can be the best option for unplanned pregnancies, in some cases. Countries with good access to abortions tend to have much lower crime rates, youth unemployment rates and overall poverty rates - because some people are too young or too poor or too unprepared to be parents. Everyone deserves control over their own reproductive rights, and kids should never grow up feeling unwanted.
And please note that most of these women have run the fathers off. What ends up happening is the child(ren) become their mother's whole life in a sick, codependent way. I'm team #childfree for life!!
Yes as well as run off every man and cant find a decent one to save their lives. So they deal with whatever they can get out of desperation and when that doesn’t work, the kid is the spouse. I seen it in my own family and it was tried on me. I had to ser FIRM boundaries.
@@SweetEssie Because they're not Godly men. Baby mama culture is really about rebellion against the Most High. The Lord says don't mark your body so what do they do? Cover themselves in gross tats. Yah warns against false idols so what do they do? Bend the knee to every low vibe entity calling themselves a "rapper." Judah remains a rebellious nation.
It’s crazy how people think about their daughters having the right to abo rting their babies instead of thinking about teaching and rearing them to be respectful of their own bodies and responsible women who won’t ever have to go through such burdens and hardships bc they are responsible with their sex life or even better yet virgins until marriage. That’s how I imagine my future daughter
And if you have a son? Does the same thing apply? Are you going to teach him to respect his body, respect women, and encourage him to stay a virgin until marriage? Somehow I doubt it.
That’s a really naive view because a lot of people get pregnant from failed birth control. People get pregnant while being responsible. The people getting abortions aren’t just a bunch of sluts that didn’t even bother to use anything. Some but definitely not all.
@@Childfree334why wouldn’t I teach my son the same thing? He’s my child. I don’t know why people don’t teach their sons to protect and honor themselves as well. It’s better to ask then assume someone’s thoughts and character.
Too many lives have been destroyed by people who had children without intention.
Yeah true
💯
Exactly
THIS!!!! 🥰🙌🏾💯🥰🙌🏾💯🥰🙌🏾💯🥰🙌🏾💯🥰🙌🏾💯🥰🙌🏾💯🥰🙌🏾💯
@@queeniequeen949sometimes intentionally as well. My aunt couldn’t naturally conceive because her husband had health issues that he wouldn’t take care of. She forced a family and adopted three kids and he passed this year. Now these kids are more traumatized and shes a widow. The signs were there.
One thing I appreciate about childfree people is that they’re being HONEST. A lot of parents have been and are still lying to themselves about the real effects of the choices they made, and some of them are choosing to try and guilt child free people instead of accepting that their life is what they chose! I have three of my own who are my absolute hearts, but I also know three is my limit, and I completelyyyyy understand why some people don’t want kids at all. It’s a lot of hard work and a lot of sacrifices made when you’re an actual GOOD parent.
One and done here and don’t regret it. But I STRONGLY support those who have chosen to be child free.
some people just don't want kids like me and that is ok
I know people who have no jobs, no homes, nothing but a mattress on the floor and they're pregnant. It is a joke. How could you bring a child into poverty? People sicken me
I’m financially pinched. I’m childfree by the way
I’ve decided at 27 to officially be childfree and single. Growing up I always assumed I’d be married first BEFORE I have children. The older I got the less I wanted to do these things. I’ve seen a lot of women have babies without the support of their children’s fathers and I don’t want to have to go through that. I was raised by a single mom and my bio dad left before I was born. I remember she told me that men change their minds all the time about wanting to raise families. It’s honestly the BEST birth control for me. I remember being so affected by not having a dad that I wanted to take my own life. It’s not a good feeling to wonder why my dad doesn’t want to be a part of my life. It’s not good to feel unwanted because of not having a dad. I can’t imagine going through pregnancy and childbirth only to have to raise a child by myself, even if the man was there. There’s no guarantee that the potential husband/children’s father will always be there because he could either walk away or pass away. I’m still expected to take on the responsibility of child rearing either way. These things are still happening and nothing seems to be changing. In addition to that pregnancy and child both scares me because as a woman of color I’m more likely to have complications or die from it according to statistics. For these reasons, there will be NO kids for me. I come from a family of single mothers. I NEVER want to experience pregnancy and being a single mother. The cycle of single motherhood ends with ME!!!!
I was raised by a single mom. My dad was around but we saw him only when he wanted to. So, basically, my mom did everything, chores, cook, work, care, etc.
I remember my childhood being really poor, I remember sitting in the car while my mom raced, running after work, from picking us up from school cause the pay bill store was closing to pay only $20 on our electricity bill when it was $100 and then begging the electricity man to keep the store open for 5 more minutes.
I remember my mom always being stressed. She always had to clean floors or sweep, always had to fix something that was broken, always had to cook dinner, and hardly ever got any rest or sleep.
I watched my mom while we were shopping put back fancy estee lauder makeup that she loved and wanted because we couldn't afford it.
I watched my dad ask my sibling to ask my mom for $5 and us kids asking "why do we have to ask mom for money dad? can't you ask her yourself?" cause (i learned when i got older) he wanted to go to the bar.
I watched my mom fill her own stocking on Christmas with a toothbrush and socks (to match ours), and our dad did not do anything, just showed up in a santa hat and ate our food, he didn't even bring presents cause he was poor too.
I don't wanna put a kid through that, not when I lived it.
I want to become a single mother by adopting a child, is this also wrong?
@@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke If you can afford to do so, have a good job, and well off life, then no, it's not wrong.
It's only wrong if you can't afford to do so and selfishly barely have enough for you...
For example, growing up my mom cooked for us kids. She'd cook spaghetti.
I'd then see my mom had no plate of food and ask "Mom, where is your plate of food? Where is your spaghetti?"
My mom would respond "I'm not hungry right now dear. :)" or "I already ate dear." (lies so that we would eat our food. The truth was she'd not eat at all. She'd have a piece of bread after we went to bed.)
Holy 💩!! These women were Dropping Gems en masse. Never wanted children, no regrets. NONE. The saying that I would rather regret not having kids then regretted having them, SLAPS Hard. Shoutout to my sisters! Warmest embrace.
I made the choice to be childfree because of my childhood my mother mostly raised me and my brother by herself I saw how she struggled plus because of the trauma of went through I don't want to repeat the cycle of dysfunction like my parents did
Same. You are not alone and your choices are valid. ❤ We are breaking generational curses and those who don’t understand that are the people who will never have to make such a gut wrenching choice, or the ones who are doomed to repeat their own generation’s curses because they can’t see the woods through the trees…
@@unionunicorn6776 thanks 😊
Same!!!!! The cycle of single motherhood ends with me!!! #childfreeforever
I've always been on the fence with children. I love kids... I think there's moments of pure love that you can only get from being a parent....
But I just don't want to be a parent for all the other negatives. People speak about children like they're the easiest choice in the world. It terrifies me. I'd rather spend my time being obsessed with nieces and nephews and exploring this world around me. I know a part of me will regret the road not taken... but I will also know I chose this other path for legitimate reasons.
Words mean nothing when reality is very different. I work with mothers at my job every day. There's no way I want kids. Those cute and cuddly moments are few and far between. I get can that from my pets. It's the same thing.
chose to be childfree cause you never know if your partner will be supportive or no. Having kids would make me miserable af, trigger my childhood traumas and I potentially could start to hate the kid and reject him/her.
Id rather not hurt innocent that had nothing to do with my abuse and all kids deserve to be born in families where they are loved and taken care of.
My sibling were lucky and her husband participate childcare 50/50 but I can see they are both very tired and struggle...
That’s the same reason I chose to be child free. I’d rather die first than to raise a child with NO SUPPORT even if I was married. My mom had me at 16 and was a single mom. I didn’t have a relationship with my biological dad for most of my childhood so I wouldn’t want that for my potential kids.
I just love the support on both sides. More of the love please. ❤
Key component is family is teamwork. Life is a mortal burden. Even as an orphan I know I’m responsible for any all choices I’m able to make w proper Intel! Do not be troubled sometimes ppl are removed for Greater good to enter!
I do intend to have a baby. I just think my future child deserves a good foundation before they come into this world.
but why for yourself, clearly not for the kid who will experience suffering and death
The woman who has three accident kids
She’s dumb
@@tezenis3435you’re an arse
There is no accident she knew what she was doing
She’s my mom lol
What about the women who went into motherhood with a supportive loving partner? Who went in with financial resources? How are they doing ? Is it still hard even with help? These all sound like women who went into it unprepared, but what about the prepared couples? How is it then?
YES! I’m happily married with kids that we wanted, but it’s still hard and my husband is extremely hands on. It’s more than physical labor and finances that need to be considered. Mental and emotional health is something that sooo many people overlook. Knowing that they’re absolutely not gonna have the same freedoms that they had before, people really underestimate this part. Family dynamics, how to raise them, how to deal with unexpected challenges that may come up like your kids having physical or intellectual disabilities and so much more!
It's hard. I almost died from preeclampsia.
Yes absolutely. My oldest child got cancer twice. There's only so much you can plan for.
❤❤❤❤❤
There’s no such a thing as an accident baby, she is finding excuses
I think an accident baby is just another way of saying it wasn’t planned. Not “whoops I had unprotected sex and refused to acknowledge the risk of pregnancy”. I think everyone who has unprotected sex understands the risk. An accidental pregnancy should technically be called an unplanned pregnancy. And yeah some people do find excuses, of course. But I think if we refer to it as unplanned, it simply would be a fact.
True. She could have terminated the "accident" before it became a baby.
Yeah, the pregnancies could have been terminated.
@@lilpotato7297 so you mean you’re the product of the Holy Spirit ?
@@lilpotato7297 just because you was unplanned doesn’t mean you was an accident
Shouldn’t we be supporting women who stop sleeping with men? Why are women turning on children as a means of “empowerment”? I respect the women who become celibate and frame it as abstaining from men rather than make it a point to talk about how they don’t ever want to be a mother but still want to sleep with whatever man comes their way. Feminism was never about shunning children it was about taking a stand against disrespectful men and women who perpetuate the toxic patriarchy that has destroyed this world.
Choosing Not To Have Children Isn’t The Same As “Turning On Children”.. The Choice Is Empowering Because Many Are Led To Believe They Really Don’t Have A Choice In This Society.. Having & Enjoying Sex Isn’t The Problem.. People Who Don’t Want The Responsibility Of Parenting Shouldn’t Then Stop Having Sex Because The Holier Than Thou Folks Think It’s Pointless.. I Try Not To Say Thoughts Like Yours Are Stupid, But They Are.. 🤷🏽♀️
Hi, welcome to the 21st century! You clearly have many cognitive distortions and I know this century can be terrifying for time travelers. Don't worry, I'm here to help. Fun fact: Did you know some women only have s3x with their chosen romantic partner and not all child free women are promiscuous/ sleep with every man they see? I know, it boggles the mind. It's so odd that women can now make decisions for themselves. They even have *gasp* autonomy. Also, we now have a plethora of birth control options available for men and women. So people can have as much s3x as they like without having to worry about pregnancy and STIs [you should still be mindful]. It may take you a bit to adjust to our new found ways, but I have faith in you.
Ffs, how is not wanting to procreate the same as turning on children that child free women don't have?...but I do agree with your stance on supporting lesbians. We need more people to support lesbians.
Why should women stop enjoying the pleasure of being with a man as a form of avoiding having kids? Tell men to get a vasectomy.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting children and having responsible sex with whomever women want. This is the 21st century, not the Middle Age. Sex is not meant just for procreation but also for our own pleasure. You should try it. Maybe you would be more open-minded. Don't bother to reply with more nonsense. I don't get notified.
@@Ella-te7fe I'll reply to anyone since you h ave a lot to say but you're too cowardly to face the replies. Yes sex is for pleasure, especially for a woman but having sex with multiple partners is what leads to children in broken homes considering condoms and birth control is not 100% protective. DUH
This is such a powerful message. Take it from a mum who didn’t want kids. But allowed the pressure of family and partner change that. You will always end up regretting it. Especially when challenges arises. If you don’t want kids stand firm and stick to it. Also find a partner who doesn’t also want kids. Children don’t make u happy. Happiness is really from within.
You cannot have 3 Kids by accident🤣
This is my mom
Can't even have one kid by accident.
Yes you can
@@AstroBaby91you can if you live in Texas
Absolutely not. That sounds stupid as hell 😂
My mom had 3 kids by age 22. She always preached to us to live our life and don’t focus on having children
She is a great mum
I wish more women understood that they cannot not let their "biological clock" dictate their lives! Please, don't forget to be all encompassing in thinking about parenthood. Can you even afford to have a child? How supportive is your partner? Think about the world your bringing your child into. Unless you can be objective, your kid is going to keep you anxious 24/7 no matter how old they get.
I'm not gonna put myself through shit to be a mom.. All of the unpleasant body changes, passing my emotional issues onto them and resenting my child and it's father? No fucking ways , I never ever want to be a mom or being around pro-children people.
Same sis, same.
*THE AMOUNT OF PARENTS THAT FULL BLOWN REGRET HAVING KIDS IS INSANE AND DONT BRING RELIGION IN IT*
The sad part is they cant say it out loud. They are supposed to fake it, fake being happy to be a parent, tell other people how amazing it is even though deep down you wish you could go back to the day you slept with that person without protection
I have a coworker that has two beautiful daughters I just asked her to give me three reasons why she wanted to have kids and she only came up with one and that’s “compassion” I don’t think that’s enough reason to convince me from choosing to be child free 😂
Honestly, if she really had conpassion she would've adopted.
A lot of women told me not have children. I won’t!
Consider the sources.
I always said to someone "The motherhood you're thinking of is the best case scenario"
...and a very rare occasion....
She's absolutely right about the triggers. I'd definitely say this applies to ppl who are applying to be step-parents.
I was not prepared, it was bad.
And it doesn't need to be our own/step/adopted children -- seeing kids and teenagers with a healthy, wealthy and loving parents easily gets love, support and all their needs fulfilled while we had to fight tooth and nails just to survive is triggering AF. Have to remind myself constantly not to get jealous -- it is really that bad.
ummmm child care is literally college tuition... Soooo Yeah...The cost of food? the cost of living? I told my daughter if she didn't want to do it, I'm good with it..
Baby animals=adorable innocent
Baby humans= grafic bodily fluids HeLL
I love my kitten! She can do no wrong 😂
I’ve had employers dump extra work on me, because the parents I worked with couldn’t complete it. I’ve met women who’ve drilled with questions about why I’m ok with just my cats are solitary life. Those same women have admitted that they’re envious of me going home to a quiet and clean house.
Interesting about the question: who benefits from us having children? I would not even say that the fathers benefit much more from it (besides some imagined ego thing regarding their "legacy" and perhaps a means keep the woman around) but capitalism benefits the most. Corporations benefit. Families are the highest consumers and we are basically birthing ever new generations of corporate slaves for the industries.
This is an underrated comment.
For those of us who actually pay attention, the corporate enslavement of the family is very evident.
There are even a number of mom and family vloggers right here on RUclips who are so compromised that their channels are unwatchable and cringe. These are the moms whose vids are all sponsored; if their lips are moving they're selling you something. I try to avoid these channels like the plague.
I said this the other day, you don’t need children to leave a legacy behind.
Bingo ✨
Yup. That’s why abortion became illegal. Governments need a large population to exist
I would just like to point out that it’s perfectly natural for women to not want children. It is a very individual thing, not a gender specific thing. Even in the animal kingdom, some females make TERRIBLE mothers. So the babies have to be removed because the mom is a threat to the baby. Men better drop the “all women want babies” rhetoric
Babies is the key word, not older children. Babies are cute until they’re older. Then they talk back
@@universealchemy Even babies, I know no man who willingly changed their child's diapers so they can't really speak about what women want
Can we also talk about parents in the workforce that take all the holidays off and force childfree workers to work
This is a veeeery good point!!! Well said!!!!!! Sooo true
I think it’s great we are even in a time where women can have these discussions on our choices.
I agree thanks for commenting
Yeah me too
Postpartum depression is lifelong if it remains untreated.
Postpartum depression just sounds like regret to me, but we’re not ready to have that conversation. It’s lifelong because the parent does not love their child and they regret having them. 😢
@@unionunicorn6776 It's a hormonal imbalance. It's not always regret. I'm a medical student and I study these things.
@@sarahrobertson634 The chemical imbalance theory was found to be inadequate in the aetiology of depression
@@nat9419 I would agree with that. I think there are other issues as well as chemistry. One cause of post partum depression could be due to social isolation, loss of physical and financial independence, lack of emotional support for women and children in society, and other socio-economic factors. When we embraced nuclear families we really messed up. Tribal societies, with strong supportive extended families, are the way to go. Combine all these social problems (which affect chemistry) with pregnancy and child birth imbalances, and it's vicious. I'm surprised that women ever decide to have children. I say that as a mother of three. It took a lot of courage for me to do what I did, with only myself to rely on. Through a lot of hard work, my kids are thriving.
@@sarahrobertson634 Spot on.
The everyday social interactions and close support networks are the best preventative medicine for so many ills 💝
If you are financially, psychologically, mentally, emotionally ready to have kids and that's your dream, go for it. But not everyone has the same dream regardless if they posses all or most of the above mentioned factors. Most importantly if any of the factors above are missing, then don't have kids.
I completely agree! I’m try to remain child free but now I’m stuck in Texas and I am terrified of becoming pregnant 😭💔
That lady was right. Being a mom sucks. Women need red pills more than men
😅😅😅😅 I don't know why I love our comment so much.
No FOR REAL!!!! WE really DO need a redpill (personally prefer pinkpill) but hell yeah!
I don't understand how people have kids "by accident."
When birth control fails is one reason
@@lovebug1180 some men believe the pull out method is a form of birth control.
Exactly its called ABORTION OKAAAY!!!!!!!
“birth controll fails” what kind of excuse is that huh shut up with that s
and if you cannot afford abortion well WHY THE HEEEEELL ARE YOU PREGNANT IN THE FIRST PLACE !! There are no excuses anymore!!!!
Because your Dr tells you that you can't get pregnant without fertility treatment because you have endometriosis and PCOS and you go years without ever getting pregnant, so you think you're safe. I'm speaking from experience.
I'm so glad I was allowed to choose not to have children. But I'm also glad I live in a socialist society because I was allowed to start my own business and be a successful independent woman.
1:20 her covering baby's ears when she said he was unplanned 😂😮😅.
The motherhood that they got and the motherhood they signed up for are not the same
I wanted to jump up and spin around like I was in church
I want children but not only can I not afford one but I would have to go off my antidepressants for 9months and would have a 90% chance of developing suicidal post pardom depression.
Focus on you love 🤗
Deeply depressed folks spitting out gremlins is part of the problem.
A baby is NOT a cure for depression.
@freeinghumanitynow where in my comment did I say a baby would cure my depression? I said the litteral opposite, I said a baby would cause me suicidal depression because I would have to go off my meds for 9months.
Sending a virtial hug and some love🤗 💓
Yes!! I'm a mom and was a single mom for a long time. It's hard!! I almost died during pregnancy and had a traumatic birth experience as well. I support child free by choice women!! I will never push my daughter to be a mom!! It's up to her!!
This is so true. You either want to be a mom or you don't. I always wanted children. I was disappointed that I only had one. Now that he is grown, I am getting back to the freedom I enjoyed before I became a mom. Do I regret him? Absolutely not. Am I glad to get back to me? Absolutely. You will always be a mom. However, you do stop raising children after they become adults.
Thanks for watching and commenting
We are free to do what we like as long as responsible about it. Having said that, I've seen so many parents who keep saying "Children are a blessing" but they're losing teeth ( poor moms having to breastfeed without enough food) and always have sickly, less educated kids because they chose to have children but did not plan how to properly raise and provide for the children. Children may be a blessing but are you a blessing to children or a cause of pain?
What's crazy is if more men were active fathers and active husbands, I don't think we would be having this conversation as much
As a childfree woman, my choice has nothing to do with a man. I could have the greatest man in the world who would be an excellent father. I just don't want kids.
This. I didn’t have a dad so that’s why I’m a FIRM believer in this statement. 💯💯💯💯💯💯
The best men are childfree men with vasectomies.
Women who say they had "3 kids by accident" need to stop fucking LYING.
It's happens cause there are measures in place that make it very difficult for women to use birth control effectively and if you want to just tie your tibes forget it cause doctor out right refuse my mother had 6 kids and was married in her thirties and they refused her. She went on to have two more one almost killed her and the refused with 8 kids by 36 with a husband and they refused. My father ended up getting a vasectomy after she begged him and that baby almost killed her and he realised he might end up raising us alone.
Accident meaning it's not intentional which is the way more than more than half of us got here.
@SweetEssie Having unprotected sex regularly is inviting a pregnancy, don't play dumb. All children deserve to be planned and wanted.
@Bubaluve Your dad should have gotten a vasectomy way earlier there's also fertility awareness method. Sorry your mother endured that abuse
Yeah, pure bs. You don't have 3 kids by accident
Had my first child at 20. She was born with servere learning disabilities, autism and epilepsy. The past 20 years have been very hard. Put her into assisted living this year and finally getting some life back. I love my kids but yeah, dont do it 😂
Poor girl … she didn’t even have to be here to endure a life like that 😢
@@azureavocado5195
Why is it that typicals pull out the “she didn’t even have to be here line” only when someone isn’t one of you?
I’m sure you’ve had struggles, pain and suffering in your life of different varieties. You didn’t have to be here either 🙄
Can you be a little bit more sensitive with your phrasing like damn… you do realize some of us with YT accounts are autistics with learning disabilities right?
@@maenad1231Steve jobs was born to addicted mom and look at the man he became! That one has a fighters spirit and I embody greatness of role models who gone before me!! Bible is great I also love heroes both small and great
Nobody is too broken to be helpful! My top 3 role models are Samels K, Steve Jobs and Rosa Parks!
it is always a risk that they could have disabilities. I don't think I could handle that. they would also look after you in old age as many parents want that
So I hate big cities. Living somewhere like NYC is my nightmare and I would hate it, and if anyone told me, “Just move there, you’ll love it,” and I listened, I would not be happy. Same thing with kids. I like caring for others. I like kids. I like all of it. It’s other’s nightmare. Stop trying to make people live their nightmare.
It baffles me just how much disregard and negligence there is towards women in the medical field. Like seriously mind blowing how half of the populaiton is neglected medically, for no good reason.
Yeah it's pretty awful. America let's women down. As in we are dying because the medical profession is about making money for insurance companies and Big Pharma meanwhile neglecting care. Nurses and Docs are actually pretty damn good, it's the hospital/health care industry that is bigger concern. I had my son 23 years ago and they royally screwed up. Lucky to be alive. Women still die in childbirth and that is unacceptable in US!!!
That's how males feel about women. They want to completely disregard us.
Birthing women are treated like cattle, and it seems like they like it.
Ie
A lot of vaginal ultrasounds are actually unnecessary.
But they violate and denigrate women anyway. ..
And women keep signing up for MORE.
I just don’t have any words left to say …
I'm 23 and I want children one day, but only once i'm married and in a good place financially. Even then, I know it will be a struggle. Enjoying my single season and waiting on God❤
How can three pregnancies be an accident? It was obviously intentional. Use birth control. That will stop it. Nobody in my family ever had a child by chance, it was by choice. If you don't want children, then that is their choice and there are many reasons why. Two of my sisters have chosen, along with their partners, not to have children and they have been together for over 20 years and have never regretted it. If you want to have children, plan for them, don't let them be an "accident" or an "oops".
Imagine living in Texas and your 12 year old daughter gets pregnant???
Yikes, Better Hop in the hoopty and take her to New Mexico
That’s kind of your L, for Birthing a DAuGHter in such a hostile environment to begin with.
And then teaching her nothing about sex ed, so that she would end up pregnant at that age OR failing to protect her from the assault that created the pregnancy.
@@azureavocado5195way to blame the victims of r*pe and/or inc*st…
@@unionunicorn6776She wasn't blaming the 12 year old victim. She was blaming the parent for not protecting the child.
That is a rarity
Also a thing to think about is child support. I have 5 siblings. Theres 3 baby daddies and my step dad. Th one guy who stayed. Noneo th other three paid child support. Ones in jail so "it'd be like bleeding a rock" one refused and the other was a drug addict. The one that refused only started to pay when his kids were 16 and 17 so at that point why tf does it matterif he isnt back paying
I have three children, I wanted to be a parent in the beginning and I still want to be a parent now. I completely support child free women. Good for you, ladies!
Absolutely.I am all for parenthood and I love it but it’s so important that the childfree option is recognised as being just as noble and valid a lifestyle choice as parenting.
Love your content . I was hoping that after seeing the rise in red pill incels that women would start producing similar content but exposing the actual truth.
That last one sounds horrible. Having to get re-stitched up after a c section? no thank you!
Yeah it’s very horrible.
Sometimes if you have it it naturally you have to get stitches down there too I did and I didn’t have pain meds smh never again
@@funsizedazzy6708I had a 1st degree tear 😬 never again
BEAUTIFUL MOTHERS❤ We love and respect you so much we know we could never do what you do. We reserve the utmost respect for you sisters! Don't let the bull shit divide us. We are all women❤
My dream is the life I have now, happily married, free from my life, my time, my finances and sleeping a lot without children.....
Woman at 3:05 doesn’t look 36 damn lol 😂
Like they said, black don’t crack huh 🤷♀️
Probably because she waited to have kids and wanted them.
Any mom should be hoping other mothers are childfree?!? More resources for them??? More daycare and school spots??? More future jobs for their children?
Why do you want children is a great question
yep
So important ❤thank you for sharing!!
🎉❤This Video Compilation!
No child should be referred to as an "accident ".... keep your legs closed if there's no protection
They are accidents. Lol 😂 and ruin women’s lives every day.
Why? Sex for pleasure is a thing. So is birth control.
@@MK-hh1vo birth control is a pleasure thing??
Okay women, don’t get raped!
Agreed. Let's call them what they really are: parasites.
1:10 this white woman had THREE accident babies, said she loves her children, she would die for them in a heartbeat, she didn't think she wouldn't want to be a mom, and she can't imagine life without them, but then she says if you don't have kids, "Don't do it" . WTF? She is literally the person I would NEVER take advice from. She's talking out of 2 sides of her mouth. That clip invalidates all the other videos
These women are deluded. Fake feminism has flooded the airways. These same women live for dick
I think it makes a lot of sense. You can absolutely love and adore your children but also realize the financial, emotional, and even physical stress that add to your life. I think she's just trying to prevent other women from ending up with a bunch of kids and struggling financially because they didn't foresee the not so great consequences that come with having and raising children
@@VoyageHERMany Americans have a very hard time understanding dialectical thinking.
Motherhood isn't so black and white though, and that's the point. Motherhood and having children has always been portrayed as some beautiful, perfect thing, when in reality it is really taxing on most parents. There is a grey area where I'm sure most honest parents would agree to, where you can absolutely love your kids but their needs and the requirements of raising them absolutely drain the parents.
As a Mother of 3, I think she meant unplanned. I can understand the first being an "accident" but you can prevent that from ever happening again if you wanted. Tubal ligation is permanent!
If you can provide a stable and loving home then definitely have kids. If you can’t raise them then give them up for adoption. There are many loving parents out there who would love a chance.
There is a lot of pain and abuse in the foster system in many countries too, though. Children who are older or have some type of disabilities, trauma or behavioural problems may never get adopted. In theory, adoption is a great option of course. But let's also face the fact that abortion can be the best option for unplanned pregnancies, in some cases. Countries with good access to abortions tend to have much lower crime rates, youth unemployment rates and overall poverty rates - because some people are too young or too poor or too unprepared to be parents. Everyone deserves control over their own reproductive rights, and kids should never grow up feeling unwanted.
And please note that most of these women have run the fathers off. What ends up happening is the child(ren) become their mother's whole life in a sick, codependent way.
I'm team #childfree for life!!
Yes as well as run off every man and cant find a decent one to save their lives. So they deal with whatever they can get out of desperation and when that doesn’t work, the kid is the spouse. I seen it in my own family and it was tried on me. I had to ser FIRM boundaries.
Why do men run if after dropping their DNA?
@@SweetEssie Because they're not Godly men. Baby mama culture is really about rebellion against the Most High. The Lord says don't mark your body so what do they do? Cover themselves in gross tats. Yah warns against false idols so what do they do? Bend the knee to every low vibe entity calling themselves a "rapper."
Judah remains a rebellious nation.
😂😂😂 Run the fathers off? Yeah, ok. Men don't ever make the decision to leave simply because they want younger, newer, and childfree p*ssy.
@@Childfree334are you saying they do or don't want that ?
It’s crazy how people think about their daughters having the right to abo rting their babies instead of thinking about teaching and rearing them to be respectful of their own bodies and responsible women who won’t ever have to go through such burdens and hardships bc they are responsible with their sex life or even better yet virgins until marriage. That’s how I imagine my future daughter
😂😂😂
And if you have a son? Does the same thing apply? Are you going to teach him to respect his body, respect women, and encourage him to stay a virgin until marriage? Somehow I doubt it.
We don’t care
That’s a really naive view because a lot of people get pregnant from failed birth control. People get pregnant while being responsible. The people getting abortions aren’t just a bunch of sluts that didn’t even bother to use anything. Some but definitely not all.
@@Childfree334why wouldn’t I teach my son the same thing? He’s my child. I don’t know why people don’t teach their sons to protect and honor themselves as well. It’s better to ask then assume someone’s thoughts and character.