Why Childfree Women Should NOT Date Men With Kids | Don't Do it, Sis!
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- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
- #Childfree #SingleLife #Dating
Beware of the sweet talking. It's going to bring you in reality quick once it all hits the fan. It's different hardship that will come up being in a relationship with many different personality. Let me tell you a funny story.
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Say it with me everyone… Child free people should only be with child free people!!!
💯
All FACTS!!!!
THANK YOU 🤞.
I concur… 2.5 gigabillion %!
No way
That’s stupidity
Just one thing. You will NEVER come first in his life and decisions. SIMPLE
Amen
It is against biblical principles.
So, in other words, I shall have children of my own in order to date a man with children?
Girl, I've been with my man whi has a kid for years and felt so unseen, unheard and unvalidated. Thank you for this. Its not fair.
Are you still with him??
Giiiiirl I know this too well
Off topic, but you’re gorgeous
My biological daughters mom said the same thing in our relationship. Women are foolish man. This can happen either way. 😎
Girl wtf? Move on !
It’s better for a childfree woman to remain single than to date a man with children. Not even one child. It’s an automatic no. It’s a huge financial burden. And even if money is not an issue, he’ll permanently be attached to another woman. So it is like a sister wife situation as you said. Some friends looked at me crazy when I said dating/marrying a man with kids is a sister wife situation. He will permanently have another woman involved in his life. He will have to regularly interact with her and send her money. You also have to be bothered with dealing with her in your life as well. So you’re pretty much sharing his time & money with her and her kids. What’s the difference between that and a sister wife situation? Also, some men still get intimate with the mothers of their kids when they go pick up their kids. Also, you’ll never have freedom and privacy bc her kids will be her surveillance cameras in your household. She has indirect access to your home which should be your sanctuary. You have to deal with these extra kids coming in and out of your home and have to deal with their different habits and behaviors. If they are small your partner will burden you with providing child care for those kids who will most likely resent you bc you’re not their mom.
I could go on and on. There are just so many potential issues. I like my space, freedom and money. Don’t want any of that encroached on by some other woman and kids that aren’t mine. There’s nothing so special that a man could bring to your life that would offset those challenges. It’s too much of a BURDEN being with a single dad. Not worth it.
Well said!‼️
I want our kids to be the only kids me and him would have💯💯💯💯💯💯
It's lot dating someone who has kids whether your child free woman or man. Cause at the end of the day your never gonna be top on there priority list.
FACTS
Summed up so perfectly!!!!!!
I just turned down a man with four children. I’ve never had a man to show so much interest in a short period of time! He gets an A+ for texting good morning and good night on time. I’m single and my life is together. I bet if he didn’t have kids, he probably wouldn’t even be so persistent. They are very persistent when they’re carrying baggage. I’ve never met a single man with no kids who acted serious about trying to commit, or be in a rush, but this man with kids is ready to settle down and be a super husband.
😂😂
Such a great observation 👌🏾
@@aleablue yes mam.
They get stuck with a woman that they decide they no longer want to be committed to, and think they can just run off and start a new life with a different woman. Like no, you made that bed, laid down, and created life with her. Go and take care of your responsibilities!
@@misstruth1115 and the woman they don’t want may even be good. But maybe he doesn’t work on his issues
Childfree women and single dads aren’t compatible
Cmon now🤣👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@jasminewashington6728 damn TRAGIC
@@jasminewashington6728 sad
I'm learning this now 😅
Dating a single man, I was hoping these comments would give me hope 😭
No childfree person should ever date a person with kids, man or woman.
dated a single dad ,it was the worst year of my life
i agree
😂😂😂
I agree. It is a nightmare.
💯
Lol I’m glad you got through it
You are speaking facts plus I don’t want to share my man with NO ONE not even his kid 😂💯
Me right theref
Ooooooh my gosh… 💯💯💯
This !!
This is soooooo me 😂😂
@@jordanipinnock3689 😂😂I'm so serious
Same for men. I'm a child free dude and dated a single mum and it was a bad experience. The woman still had feelings for the baby's father and started issues with his girlfriend. Never again.
Neva again!! we can't put ourselves in those sticky situations lolol.
Yes it is too much drama.
😂😂😂 this is why single people should stick with single free kids
Understood but that was also who you were with cause plenty of women with children don’t have anything to do with the father and could care less about him.
I went thru the same situation with my ex-girlfriend. She still went back to the baby daddy yet he did nothing for his kids. I am 41 and have no kids and I WILL NOT date or have sexual relations with a woman who has kids. NO THANK YOU
Im a 44 year old childfree woman and i approved this message
I’m 34 and will not date a man with kids. Idc if ppl are offended by it. Ppl want you to believe so badly it’s hard to find childless men at this age when it’s the furthest thing from the truth. I have no issue finding men in their 30s who are childless.
Very true! There are a lot of childless men and women in their 30s & 40s especially in major metropolitan areas. There are a lot of adults waiting later in life to get married and have children so that they can get their careers & finances in order. Not everyone is having kids in their 20s.
I decided to be childfree in highschool lol and ever since then I always heard, 'As you get older, everyone will have a kid.' You and the other commenter just gave me hope, thank you! 🙂
Okay but the issue is not finding a childless man it's finding a 'childfree' man.
Most childless men have the idea in their head to have kids some day.
Childfree men make the conscious decision to never have kids
@@alliahfrancis152 If you live in a non-conservative major city, it's not that difficult. Then again, I'm a millennial dating other millennials. It's probably more difficult to find childfree boomer and gen xers
Where are you finding them at because I am a child free woman in her thirties still looking
As a childfree woman in my 30s it just isn't worth the stress and ironically makes it hard to date. When I tell people I don't date single parents it's always taken as a personal attack or the people i'd be dating get envious of my lifestyle (doing whatever I see fit). Like you said there is just too many ties and most people don't have kids by people they don't see a future with. It's never worth it
I don’t blame you, because I do the same. I refuse to date single dads as a childless woman. I don’t want nothing to with their baggage and drama they bring to a relationship.
Agreed!!!!!
💯
Agreed. There might be exceptions but I haven’t seen one yet.
Not only that imagine you marry a single dad, now YOUR money is also going into another woman’s household. It’s no for me.
Women need to stop being so nice, IF YOU DONT HAVE KIDS, DO NOT BE WITH A MAN THAT HAS KIDS
SPEAK ON IT SIS!!
Yes. I agree
Agreed!!
Niggaz be lying and you may find out he got kids after you pregnant with his kid..
Vice versa
I'm a man without children and I can attest that regardless of your gender, if you are child free, it's hard dating someone who has a child. It's a lot of trouble and you have to determine if it's worth it. Sometimes it is but don't be naive about it. It's not for everyone. We child free people tend to be selfish. That's not a bad thing.
"Sometimes it is but don't be naive about it. It's not for everyone." I agree!
I love kids, I love my niece and nephews whom I never get to see because my sisters are crazy. I'm glad to see this new dating site for people with kids. Nick Cannon is nuts! I'd be BS crazy with all those baby mamas! I'm not selfish but I gotta love and protect myself. Been divorced from two control freaks and I'd rather be free and single than with one more like my mother.
As we should be! 💯👌
You can’t be selfish when it’s just you 🤷🏽♀️ they had what you wanted at one point when they were child free so you’re not asking for too much you’re just asking it from a selfish person who tries to make you out to be selfish for wanting what they already had but can’t give. You’re not wrong and you need to think about why people with children target childfree people. Yea, because they don’t want their same situation and they want it all from someone who can give it all. NOPE !
I couldn’t agree more! He’s already shown he has no problem abandoning a woman with his child 🤷🏾♀️. That’s a red flag in general to me. Bringing a child into this world is no light matter.
A man with a baby mama is also more likely to leave you a single mother as well 🥴. Issa NO for me. Them some women marry these men and now they’re responsible for back child support smh AINT NO WAYYYYYY lol Issa trap Sis! Better runnnnn
That back child support👶be beating👊 these brothas🧔down to the ground.
it goes both ways Michelle without the need to attack and offend, i dont stigmatize women for certain decision because people dont understand something, for instance, the women i like in my 15 is not the same in my 25 and let alone my 35, people should really wait longer, so those who started too early just flopped, i am currently dating a girl who has 2 kids and i know its gonna be issue, she is amazing with beautiful kids , just bad timing and wrong men to have children with, judgement was indeed poor though her kids are something to envy truely! but reality is! this is will a rollercoaster ride dealing with two baby daddies, because those baby daddies are priorities in her life by default wether i like it or not, so where do i fall? like 5th in her life!
What?? Just because people are single with kids, doesn't mean anyone abandoned anyone.. doesn't mean that person can't have a decent relationship with another person.. Where do you get this crazy perception?
Yes! My boyfriend is a single father and he left his baby mama. I asked him why he left because the child was only 2. Mind you they were never married. He straight up told me that she just wasn’t the one for him anymore after 8 years together. I was like damn if you could leave your child’s mother just like that with a 2 year old what makes you think you wouldn’t do that to me?
@@janisemills1 is he still co parenting with her? sometimes people just grow apart
I left my husband (only married once) his Childs mother received part of my income. She filed a motion for a raise because he has other income too. $1250 a month for two kids. She constantly makes sure I know she would getting everything. She is married. Doesn't have to work. It's NEVER about you or your family. I went to my dads funeral alone because my BF at that time promised his son they would spend the day together. That did it for me. I suffered from depression and feelings of being a outsider but they don't mind taking money. I'll NEVER do it again. I love your channel. 💕
That lady sounds entitled, karma is a bitc…
@@Lu-gm9mx Oh I hope you’re right! 🙏
Oh fuck no! No!
Thank you for sharing! A lot of women don’t realize that marrying single fathers can impact their finances.
@@staceywilliams1863 Right? That’s how I felt!
Single ladies and gentlemen you deserve to plan and start your own families if you choose to have children. One thing you will never regret when you are older is NOT letting people waste your time and volunteering to be a pack mule to carry someone else's baggage. Enjoy your peace and freedom. Life is short and you have no excuse to not make the most of it and enjoy the journey.
Child free is the way to be. I refuse to even converse with a man who has a child, regardless of age. Over 18? Still doesn't matter. No sense wasting time when it won't go anywhere.
Lol okay facts 💯
Me too sis. A man once came to holler at me with a baby's car seat in his car and I went mute when I saw it. He stood next to me talking to me with no response till he gave up and left😂😂
no sense in it at all! because you're right- even after several years in, it still doesn't end up going anywhere! you're far better off investing your time into someone with whom you share more commonalities and who can actually share their life with YOU...not tied down to kids and an ex spouse's issues.
What’s wrong with the over 18 part? No shade I’m truly curious and want to get single people’s feedback. Esp older single people.
💯
Me and a guy went on a date we were in the car had an amazing night.. The vibe was locked in sis.. His baby mama calling he answer and gone tell me to be quiet.. He Still Calling my phone to this day.. Boy BYEEEEE !!!
The audacity!!!!!
😂😂😂😂
As a man its great to hear it from the other side. It seems every woman that is interested in me is a single mom. Gonna stay single until I meet a great childless woman.
Yes, and if you say that you don't want to date a woman or a man who has children people get resentful and try to make you look like a bad person, but you are not responsible for someone else's poor choices and inability to keep their family together
@@Gigithewlis exactly. I dont want that burden and responsibility. Its become so normal in this society to accept that kinda deal.
I don’t know you, but believe me stay single until you find the one without kids. Even if she has a great personality and you have a great connection, the moment she has kids leave her alone! It’s not worth it! It’s to complicated and it can even be dangerous for you as a man to date a lady who is a single mother because alot of baby daddies are felons and you don’t want to be dragged into drama which can get you killed or can get you end up in prison.
Don't give up, we're still out here..
@@Gigithewlispeople love to assume why people are single parents😒🙄
As a childfree man at 39,I did date a single mother for almost 3 years and it ended badly because of the baby daddy drama. I will never do it again because there is never a happy ending because the baby mother will always love their baby daddy because they had a kid together and they have a connection that you as a childfree person can never break. I fully agree that childfree women shouldnt date single fathers.
Frig so sorry.
@@sunvavachi thats OK.
i've heard multiple childfree men say something similar to this...they wish they'd never gotten serious with or married a woman with multiple kids...they always felt like second or third place ...or worse.
And it was always headache shuffling some one else's kids around for events, holidays, and the like. Not to even mention baby daddy drama...even if they had a decent relationship with the ex, something always came up. so sorry you had to experience this too!
I hate my baby father so this will not be me. I move city's away . Wish I know this when I was 18
Im a child free mature woman, I never saw the appeal of being with a man connected to so many women.
You put that perfectly. They have a connection that they’ll have for life. Why settle for that?
@@austind4301 I believe they always sleep with the baby mothers. Many of those women lack boundaries. I remember when I got Azalea and her fiancé broke up. He went back to the baby mother and they made another child.
@@melanindawn2050 - You’ve peeped part of the “game” for these mentally slow, dysfunctional males. They create a harem full of concubines, forever tied to them through these kids, no different than a pimp. And because all of these women have low to no self esteem, they’ll put up with man sharing and competing over who gets to be the “main” piece even if all they’re getting are scraps. He’s guaranteed himself a rotation of different bodies, which also boosts his low to non existent self esteem. To need that many bodies in rotation means you don’t see any value in yourself besides sexual, and you’re also an energy vampire.
@@melanindawn2050 I think you're correct about that. My parents haven't been married for almost 20 years and they still fuck sometimes (gross, I know). He (or she) will probably ALWAYS love the mother/father of their children and be dtf, even if they're in another relationship
@@melanindawn2050they do, male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators.
Only men with kids get mad at videos like this . 😂😂😂
I had guys with children had the nerve to say they don’t date women with children! 😂
@@Dana_incpookie and ray ray at it again
Yes, i was made to feel bad after refusing to go on a blind date with a woman with 2 kids. I know what I want and don't want. I love my freedom. Kids are not for everyone.
I'm 60yrs old I have NO children and I approve of this message..
I never dated one but i was always disgusted at the thought of it…i‘m a young woman, childless and i would prefer to go the traditional route, marriage, kids, growing old. I want everything to be the first experience when it is first for me too. Thank goodness my boyfriend and i are on the same page.
Chile I would always end up dumping guys with kids when I use to be single years years ago 😂🤣😏 I thank God for my child free husband he sent my way. It’s going on 8 years now and we are so free and happy! I wanted kids so bad at on point. Now I’m realizing kids are too much and I love my freedom. I see so many women settling with a man with kids. I was one that didn’t want to settle and I’m so glad I didn’t. Your videos be the truth girl!!!!
i am so happy to hear you are not making copies of yourself.. keep up the good work
There is no such thing as freedom
As a mother of 2 I approve this I wouldn't expect a man with no kids to date me I am not selfish. I don't have the time to give him. I date someone with kids.
This is me! I don't want a child free guy who doesn't understand my mom life
@@desosmom1 i would recommend most single moms only date men with kids...every childfree man i know who has dated a single mom says that it eventually fell apart/ended badly and they regretted getting involved.
I’m so happy more women are coming to this conclusion. Yess ladies.
❤️🥂🥂
Yes! There needs to be more videos like this. I always see never date single mothers videos but rarely these. Society keeps telling men not to date women with kids but not the other way around.
For every single mother out there , there is a single dad
@@theurbanfarmlife7311but 80percent of the time he's not... because that's not his programming... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators.
As a man every time I say that I prefer to have my own kids and don't want to date a woman with kids again(Had a HORRIBLE experience last time) I get bashed for it by people.
Stand on truth & we stickin' to it!! LOL
@@TeraChantelle Facts! Lol
don't let anyone pressure you into it. if you cannot honestly embrace the children then don't do them the disservice of being a resentful step parent. it would be irresponsible of you to try knowing what your limits are. I wish people would be more supportive of people realizing what there limits are and not shame them for it. You are doing the right thing, it is being thoughtful to yourself and everybody else involved.
Omgosh I feel the same !!!
@@timitamar951 Hang in there Timisha. The dating pool has piss and 💩 in it, if you ask me. But if it's meant you'll find what you're looking for, if you haven't already 🙏🏾But remember, self love is important. I have to constantly remind myself of that
Yes!!!! I don’t want it!! Don’t need it!! Fell for someone with a kid and I’ve now left!! Bye!!!
You’re set free bby! Shine bby shine🤣👏🏽
Proud of you ❤
Yup, I almost married a single father… I didn’t see the major red flags until he mentioned how I’d be expected to help pay his kids college tuition because they would qualify for less aid once my income was added to the household. I then looked at how many of his kids were headed into college… NOPE.
You dodged bulletsssss😒
@@glidkomer Yes, praise God. Funny thing was that the children mother was not expected to chip in for their tuition. She was gonna be allowed to keep all of her money. Lol.
@@YaYa-ke1zr Yes, yes! Not expected to chip in cuz you were gonna do it.....sike😁 (well played).
@@glidkomer Exactly!
Oh he was smoking good drugs! He tried it ! Hell naw
Aint a word she lyin about. Never date a man with children...especially if child free. It is a disgusting, disastrous situation.
We talk about this topic, he ask me if I will accept him if he have a child already and I answered “NO” he says that a huge red flag and selfish, he says if I truly loved him I will accept his past. I just told him that I dont like complicated and troubled relationships and I have preferences and I have right to choose who I will spend my life with in the long run
As a mom who doesn't want a single father, how is that selfish.. that would be selfish of ME to call a childfree guy selfish for not wanting to deal with my son...who Does That?? And whyyy?..you deserve to have attention on you.. Not share with outsiders(exes)
Sounds like my ex who loved to gaslight me.
If you love someone you do accept them but you're not required to love anyone and it isn't selfish to not love someone back.
I'm not taking care of someone else's child or toddler. No thanks! 😂
😂facts
This is exactly what happened to me! I did not mind the two kids, but it’s the baby mama drama that finally ended the relationship. She was calling his phone all the time, as soon as he will get to my house, about a pair of pants or a pair of shoes, or a hat she couldn’t find. And every time she would try to put some sort of boundary in place, she would just guilt trip him by making him feel that he does not really care about the kids. Where in fact the kids were with him most of the time, and she was a deadbeat mom! I got so tired of this circus 🤡
Been there done that, DO NOT do it sis!!!
Why…I am in this situation now
Sigh
@@brendachepchumba5409same
But what if his ex was married and she lied to him and said she was single then he finds out she’s pregnant with their kid and she remain married ? I don’t think we’ll have baby mama issues because his ex is married and the husband doesn’t like my man
@@brendachepchumba5409male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators.
A lot of women dating men with kids don’t realize they aren’t ready for kids yet until they’re in the relationship. It’s best when you don’t have kids and aren’t ready for them to not date people who do.
amen!
Agreed. If you don't have a kid don't date someone with a kid. When you want your own there will always be some form of animosity. Same goes for men don't date women with kids. Let the people who both have kids find each other. Klaar!
It’s annoying for some other woman to be the main character permanently for life with Your man. No you can keep him, Fefe. 🤣
😂😂😂
You said the truth. It not worth the drama from the multiple women & children. Most times the woman who settles in a situation like such will be unappreciated and overlooked.
I feel like it's worse if his child is still in the baby/toddler stage cuz for one that's where the child needs to be helped and taken care of the most, for 2, if the child is that young, it's probably a sign that they haven't been broken up for that long and when a couple is just freshly broken up, there's usually still leftover feelings for each other.
Girl you made this specifically for me. Just got out of the situation and never looking back
Exactly, on the odd occasion that I hear about childfree women who ended up marrying a single father I think 'you absolute fool, you WILL live to regret that some day'.
But what if his ex was married and she lied to him and said she was single then he finds out she’s pregnant with their kid and she remain married ? I don’t think we’ll have baby mama issues because his ex is married and the husband doesn’t like my man
I will never do that again. Long time ago, I met a guy with kids, told him I'm not dating anyone with kids 'cause I can't stand 'em. He said, oh you'll like my kids. I said no I won't! Lots of ex wife drama that I wasn't putting up with. I met my dream man who's older than I and no kids!!! It's a rare miracle!!!! I don't mind people calling me selfish 'cause I don't want kids and don't want to be bothered. It's like, dude, go BE WITH THE BROAD YOU HAD THE KIDS WITH! The older I become, the less kid crap I can tolerate. I divorced my first husband because I was not playing step mom. It sucked for the short time I did. However, I was young and just should've ran then. Eventually, I ran. Was friggin' great living alone all of these years and the relief . . .
I also dated a man who was single and older than me. I was content with it untill.. he left me bc he got bored and traumatized me horribly with that experience. Sadly, nobody guarantees happiness.
@@azwell45 I concur…
I need help! I’m with a guy who has a four year old and I hate it so much. He kinda knows I don’t want to play step mom either. He is a really good man and takes care of me. Im scared I won’t find anyone who will love me like this. But I can’t stand him always talking about his kid and him seeing his ex every other day. I’m growing resent and it’s sucks because it’s not the child’s fault. My anger is more directed at him honestly. I feel like an outsider. I don’t even like to be around his family because they view me as someone who shouldn’t be here.
@@janisemills1 let go of the fear; be true to yourself. That kid ain’t goin’ away. Not fair to you - not fair to him. Let them be to themselves and magnetize a CHILDLESS mate, who is kind to you and kind to people.
But what if his ex was married and she lied to him and said she was single then he finds out she’s pregnant with their kid and she remain married ? I don’t think we’ll have baby mama issues because his ex is married and the husband doesn’t like my man
I married my husband one year ago. I love him to death. He does have a teen age son with another woman before I met him. I found out we won't have any kids ever and let me tell you it HURTS. It didn't bother me before but it does now. I will always see him as first and I'll be second. Don't do it.
What do you mean you found out? How did that conversation NOT come up while dating??.. or did you find out one of you is infertile?
@@desosmom1exactly. Wth
@@desosmom1he got sniped!
@@Dana_inc and she JUST found out??
I think the most important thing for me in a relationship is being a priority. If I dated a man with kids, I'd never be his main priority, and that's simply not enough for me. I dated a man who consistently put his work and hobbies ahead of me, and that was bad enough.
There's still hope if you're a bit older and childfree, like myself! I'm 29, my boyfriend is 34, and we're both staunchly childfree. Don't ever settle!
Preach!! These dads by default have baggage (children). Let them date other single parents. If you don't have kids (man or woman, idc) don't date someone with kids! You are worth more than that!
I’m a childfree lesbian and I REFUSE to date a woman with kids. I just don’t want that life. I’ve gone on dates with women with kids and it always ended at that date. It’s not just the baby mama drama because in my case it hasn’t been that. I’ve noticed that the women are completely consumed with their kid or kids and that’s all they talk about on the date. I can already see what that would be like and decided not.
Well I'm a lesbian with two kids . I agree with u on some points. I'm a single mom by choice I had both my kids IVF fertility. But it's hard getting alone time to date and most women who don't have kids doesn't seem to get the concept that I'm a mom first before anything else. It never last as you stated. But I have met a woman who understands that, and loves my kids. I think if a woman truly loves me she will love my kids just the same. We are engaged and happy.
@@superflylady75 I can completely accept that someone is a mom FIRST. This is EXACTLY why I don’t date women with kids because I totally understand and respect that they are a mom first but I am not. I don’t want to be either. That’s why I will never even entertain another woman with kids not even grown kids. I’m good
It's so confusing for the child! Some parents say to their kids "this is your new dad/mum" and enforce their child to call them dad/mum. Boundaries people! Boundaries!
Love your video x
You're right, sadly for my mother she never had a serious relationship after my parents divorced when I was 5, but for me it was actually healthy cause I wasn't as confused as some people who at young age had different step fathers or step mothers coming and going. My mother put me first instead of her needs and ill be grateful forever for that. Now I'm an adult, my mom has a partner and is happy. Its very risky bringing someone in to replace your real parent, so better be safe than sorry, wait till your kid grows up, and then find love again.
In my younger years a guy asked me (child free) woman on a date. On the date he admitted he had 5 kids with 4 different women. He asked to go dutch with the bill. Needless, to say we were not compatible. No more dates with this character.
Wow
Jesus! I actually snorted at 5 kids with 4 women. He wants to become the next Genghis Khan or what? Is he snipped or does he lack all accountability and self-control?
Typical male offspring programming... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators.
What??😂
I say move on when you are not equally yoked. By doing that, I found true love later on. I was not going to stick around for all the baby momma drama.
Yes! I have tried it a few times. I felt suffocated. I thought it was something on could “learn to live with” because of how much I loved him. I’m glad that I decided to leave before things got too serious. His child was an absolutely amazing boy and I loved him as well… But at the end of the day, it was not the life that I wanted. I felt guilty about it for a while, but you need to do what is right for your self and for your soul, and being a mother or a stepmother is nothing that my soul wants anything to do with
@@kalisseaya Please do what’s best for you and don’t let your future self down.
@@kalisseaya You are hot, you could do SO much better than a guy with 2 baby moms
It was never going to get serious anyways…if it did it would be most likely to use you for Back child support and his permanent main character for life, the sister wife. These men already lived their lives with other women way before new ones got in picture.
@@ChaChaWitYa I did it ☺️
i had a very very similar experience to yours....and eventually it took a toll on me and i realized it wasn't what i wanted for my life either.
I used to be ok w/ men w/ children b/c I used to think that men think like me: if I had two kids already, I wouldn’t be trying to have another. So, I figured, if a _man_ already had two or three kids… he ain’t gon’ be looking for none from me, right!
I mean…right???
Yeah, I was wrong.
I've heard that some use kids as a way to trap you, so of course those guys want you to have kids. There's no good reason why a man woth several children should try to pressure a childfree woman into having kids.
Girl , my ex had THREE kids to my ONE , an 11 yr old..and begged and cried for one by ME.. Claiming he knew I'm not like his ex..
well guess whose was left raising this child alone?? Me why? Cuz he couldn't deal with my post partum emotions and said I'm acting like his ex. 🙄..
Obviously he isn't in touch with reality on what having a baby can do to a woman
@@desosmom1typical male offspring programming/training... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators... play play play/no responsibilities...
What's unique about you is your spiritual perspective on being childfree. Love it.
God bless you❤️❤️
@@TeraChantelle♥️♥️
I have a perfect solution….. USE PROTECTION, Or better yet, HAVE YOUR KIDS from one man and one woman.
or... don't have sex at all.
And Marry and stay with the women you had children with.
Healthy black family need to be restored.
People. Please thoroughly screen someone if you’re dating them. I met a man online who lied about having a child for two months. Be careful out there!!!
I’m in the hospital and he’s no where to be found because his kid decided to be a bully and hit some student at school… he went there and left my a$$ in the hospital all by myself 😅 yeah I’m done. I’m never gonna make the same mistake twice
Woww
Wooooow! Lol smfhh!
Nobody should date anybody with kids if you childless. Regardless if it is a woman or a man w/o kids
😂💯
So much truth being spoken. A lot of parents both mothers and fathers have a hard time understanding this
Appreciate you🦋✨
I'm a child free man and I dont date women with kids because I went through baby daddy drama in my early 20s. In my mids 20 I said... Nomore Fock That $#!+.... and I fear giving a women a child that already has one. I'm think about getting a Vasectomy at this age 35. I lve made my MuthaFocking mind up 🤣🤣
Do it
I'd actually move up the vasectomy if you've made your mind up...BC fails and abortions aren't always going to be accessible, ESPECIALLY in the US and other developing countries.
@TGIF Thank God its Fefe His mind is made up, he does NOT want kids. If he regrets his vasectomy he can foster/adopt...but what could he do if he regrets having bio kids?
@TGIF Thank God its Fefe Dude, he's 35, he knows what kind of life he wants by now. Also, he would be an old dad if he had kids later. My dad is 34 years older than me and I always felt like that was super old, haha
@@DonnaDoveWintershey I had one at 20 then at right before 33... He's 10 now and doesn't consider me old.
Been there too much; always dating men with kids. I was always second. They always had to get off of the phone talking to me. Me, they knew that I didn't have any obligations. Aside from my job, there was no other competition or something that would take my attention from him/be available to him. No more.
Thank you for keeping it so real in this vid. I’ve never dated a man with a child and have always said I would never… this guy came into my life, he’s seems so amazing (still early tho) .. but I swear my spirit guides are like NO but I was like maybe I should look at it from a different perspective. But NAH you confirmed everything I said to myself.
You better not! There’s nothing in it for you
I did, please don't!
I do not recommend, I am going through extreme break up right now and he was the one to break it off but I tried to leave sooner and he kept holding on to me so I became really stressed out, put on weight like 20 kg as I didn't feel appreciated or accepted as they would isolate me by speaking their own language, the children were a nightmare. We've never had time to go anywhere together and on top of it financial issues and everything evolves just around him , his kids and never my needs. So different priorities and the ex is horrible on the side and kept saying that he shouldn't be with someone who "abuses" their children by asking them to wash their own dishes . Gosh , I am hurting but now I am more happy and have more time and money so please don't sacrifice yourself and don't get involved or you will find out in the hard way after loosing yourself in their child drama mess after spending and investing yourself for 3 years into it. We never traveled together or went out much , no time for ourselves in the bedroom too as the kids kept violating our space and all the boundaries of our intimate life. Please reconsider , I strongly do not recommend. I still care for him and he cares for me but there's definitely no future for us due to the disconnection that happened due to the major issues with children that are spoilt rotten and disrespectful to the authority as they father doesn't believe in it 🙄
Girl, I can relate. He was SO fine, but he has kids and I don't, it wouldn't be worth my time and finances. 🥴
Always listen to your gut instincts
I find it funny how women and man both agree on this. For women don’t date a single father and for men don’t date a single mother! It’s just not worth it! You will regret it!
I think men and women without kids have more in common with each other more so tho then women with kids and women without compared to men with kids and men without
Man…There was this one man who recently showed interest in me. He was also love bombing me from the get go, and he told me he had five kids. Bruh…I have ZERO kids, why would I date a man with five kids? I don’t even want to date a man with one child.
Apparently the last child is under 2. No. Just no. Get away from me. I don’t want kids, and I ain’t about that life.
Woww
It’s not always the bm. These men have bad traits that made them end up in the situation they’re in, in the first place. They’re usually not well with commitment but come on pretty strongly in the beginning. If a man can walk away from a family he created, he can do the same to you, without a second thought. Some of them want child-free women so they can continue to live like they have no obligations and not have to deal with any baggage from your end. It’s easy because they don’t have to provide as much for you, considering they have no money from their resources being pulled into another household. It will always be an unfair deal. Don’t do it!🗣️
And don't get sidetracked by their sob stories no matter how convincing they are! Baby mama drama is just the beginning of the chaos and most of them aren't trying to break those soul ties (will still sex her when y'all have a sour spot). I'm speaking from experience. Also, they actually expect you to babysit while they "run somewhere real quick" and the majority of them are incapable of establishing healthy boundaries so they aren't truly capable of building a healthy new relationship. I tried it. NEVER again! I don't ever want to put myself in a situation where a man's kids are looking at me like the evil one because they can't come to my house anymore to wreak havoc. Keep them with their toxic mothers (in many cases), go do your thing with women who are about the toxic life but keep me out of the equation.
But what if his ex was married and she lied to him and said she was single then he finds out she’s pregnant with their kid and she remain married ? I don’t think we’ll have baby mama issues because his ex is married and the husband doesn’t like my man
It’s a bad deal. I dated a woman with one kid and no baby father drama, and it was still a challenge. Nothing is worse than not getting your respect as a man and having a child disrespect you. I think single women should find a man without kids as well. Now, I am glad I got with a woman that had no kids. I finally have my family how God intended it and how I wanted it. 7 years later, I have my beautiful wife and three gorgeous children!!
This comment isn't even related to Child-Free lifestyle
This is a very honest, straightforward video. Thank you. I am a 55 year old female, single, never married, no children. I am so grateful for my situation in life but it is challenging in some ways. All the best to you.
I’m dating the sweetest, kindest, man I’ve met. He just told me that he didn’t normally tell girls about his kids when dating casually, but that he’s really falling for me so I should know that he’s raising two of them. His ex wife lives in Korea and the kids are going back and forth. It’s such a shock. I really like him and haven’t been actively dating people in general for very long…I just don’t know if I’ll find someone else like him without kids…I’m also confused about why he kept them a secret. 🤦🏻♀️
Not good. That should be disclosed on the first day. That’s trapping you to fall for him first then reveal his baggage 🧳. Don’t fall for it.
Not good. Dating is different from living together as a couple. Most of his money is going to his kids. They are his first priority
That's already a bad sign
Go with your heart especially if he’s a good guy. Also consider cultural differences. A lot of the bitter experiences and red flags in this comment section is going to be particularly true of certain demographic especially where ‘baby mama’ culture is rife.
He wanted to ensnare you to him, that's why he hid his kids from you. Leave ASAP if you don't want to be a mom to his kids.
Agreed. Definitely works better when both are single parents (esp if the kids are older/almost on their own) instead of one childfree and one single parent trying to date 🥴
It can, but honestly, the same things happen and unfortunately, even single parents aren’t always willing to go through it either.
You're so beautiful, sweet voice, and smart. Girl, I do agree with you, been there done that, you end up dating 3 people hahahahahha.
Thank you so much love!!
Even if you have children and they're grown and out of the house. It's exhausting trying to date a man with school age children. Pass on it also🤷🏾♀️
Choose you, choose you, choose you Boo! Just had a boy walk out on me cause he cannot handle me choosing me! Heaven yes, keep preaching Goddess, no more of this BS! #knowthyworth #nosettling #honourthytemple #noteverybodywelcome #goddess #childfreebychoice Love you Tera, keeping it real!
We are choosing our peace
I just ended a relationship with a man who has a 2 year old son with a woman that found out she was pregnant AFTER they broke up and they decided to keep the baby. Idk why I thought it would ever work. I don’t want children at this point of my life and idk why I thought I could do this. My life would revolve around his baby mama drama and his child. She was constantly calling him for bs crap and using the child as a pon constantly and asking for money when he didn’t even make that much money. And he couldn’t understand why I wasn’t okay with this.
keeping the baby after breaking up is the dumbest decision ever. where their brain at!?
You’re too beautiful to settle for that crap! Let them be miserable together! Sending you much love!
@@azwell45are you serious?? That is a LIFE. So what they aren't together.. They can co-parent
@@desosmom1 yeah im serious. the child deserves both parents around! most people don't give a f about co-parenting, they just leave and live their life. thats a fact
They never understood and don't want to see it from a woman's point of view!
I recently was asked out by a white guy who helped me at a gas station recently . I gave him a fake number answered his call and found out that he wanted me to be a maid for him and his son. hes a single father."" hes was rushing to marry me and do anything for me "after noticing how I am still young with no kids and love to eat healthy and im fit. He kept mentioning how much he wanted to have date night at his house as I cook for him and his kid. He is part of a liberal church in my area and goes there regularly, he has crosses on his truck too. The sad thing is he wasnt trying to marry his baby momma. He was looking for the most wildest women when he was young with low standards to have kids with in his prime . Now at 43 with a kid and health issues , he is searching for good girls to do all the cooking and caregiving now hes older with a kid. But he didnt think women with high standards were worth marrying whe he was in his prime. Most young men nowadays dont want to marry in there prime. They marry old so they can get a hospice wife especially church men. He also told me he is no longer pressuring his baby momma to help out with the kid anymore ....shes so wild and demonic he gave up. He also wanted to have a kid with me to and was glorifying pregnancy
Just run
Ugh, the truth hurts
LITERALLY LOL
No it be the kid…..AND the baby mama. Not my kid not my problem.
And not to mention you'll be playing second fiddle to another woman
More than likely 3rd, 4th or 5th fiddle...to numerous females at the same time.
Story of my life! Never again! 😂 I was always verbally and emotionally abused by him. Not because of what I was doin or saying, but because he was stressed or irritated because of her. 😢 I hate him so much for what he put me through. I hate myself more for giving him a chance thinking since he’s 15 years my senior he would handle things maturely. Boy was I wrong. 🙄 Never again!
ok now! i so agree! preach!! i always told my daughters this!! and thankfully they heard me! they are now adults and they don't have baby mama drama😀and they are their father's only children
I never thought about the spiritual perspective of the soul tie, etc. Makes total sense and is very helpful. Thank you.
And that's a permanent soul tie. I learned this years ago - it's not just sex. Sexual soul ties can be severed by the Holy Spirit through repentance and righteous choices, and the person/people will be gone from your life because you chose to walk away from them. But the soul tie of a child cannot be severed.
Yes. This is true.@@forgoogletotrack7181
👎say no to single dads.
1.Its the baby mamas
2.its the child support
3.its no time for u only for his kid
4.watch my kid for me for a sec because he gotta go do this that & the other. A child that u didn't birth.
5.next thing u know you'll be doing laundry cooking and cleaning for him & his kid that ain't yours
🙄 shall i go on.
Unless he's a super wealthy man, don't do it.
😂 couldn't agree more, judge Judy!
AMEN Sister! I've tried and tried...I have a backpack of baggage they have a freight train.... nope! My journey of life is lighter and more fulfilling and financially free without that. I have learned to love myself and a relationship is the cherry on the top. I can still eat cake and be filled without it. I am a child of divorce and seeing what my mother went through and even my father, the Lord blessed me to not have children this lifetime. I love children btw perhaps why I was given a break this time around 🤗😍
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Why be someone else's second when you can be someone else's first? Some get into such one-sided relationships just for the sakes of being in a relationship. Seriously some single people with children get into relationships with childfree people because they already know that in most cases they'll have all of you without the baby mamma or baby daddy drama. Just think- they've made a good investment because they won't be putting up with what you're putting up with. Ask yourself if the roles were reversed, would he or she put up with you? If you know in your heart that he or she wouldn't, then that's more the reason to save that space for someone who will make you first.
I’m over here nodding my head as if you’re watching me and talking to me directly ! 😂
So much truth spoken into existence in this video ! I needed to hear it.
I loved his children. But it really hurts that he loves them more and they are above me. And jealousy hurts and i can not control this sad feeling no matter how i try. I tried for 5 years. It is out of my control to accept and embrace that they will be loved first above me not matter how many times i tell myself it is ok. He loves me enough.
Chile…
@@ChaChaWitYa😂😂😂
Yes girl I feel the same. Can’t count how many times I broke up with him, each time hoping there would be changed behavior and that he would make time for me. Boy was I wrong
@@ChaChaWitYa😂😂
I just canceled a date with a man that I liked cause just found out he has a kid. It only came up when I asked him if he has a hot date on a specific day that we were going to meet. Then went on and on how he doesn’t need to provide this information and it is irrelevant until he knows the person. Then putting it on me that it is obviously a deal breaker for me. It was exhausting. Seemed like he was the catch in all of this and I am the villain. I might of considered dating him if he was up front but after this i felt deceived.
How can he said its not relevant when it is relevant! Not everyone is okay with living with kids. He knew he have lesser chance of getting a date successfully if he told the truth that he has a kid so he wanted to wait till the end before telling if not why else was he keeping it a secret till you asked. It's a douchebag move, good thing you cancelled the date with him
Sounds like you dodged a big bullet :)
@@renek2913update one year later, quite few men doing this so we women have to ask
Yeah that's weird, even though he doesn't have to tell you his business because y'all aren't together, it shouldn't have been a secret if he had a kid
You don’t have to love nobody’s baby mama🙄 Boundaries yes but all that other is some bs.
I'd rather be single
She ain’t lying this is all facts
Yes you are so right I am a child free woman and I shouldn't have to share my man with nobody and getting the bare minimum, no way . I choose me. And the right man will see that. Thank you my sis ❤
yeah I can understand why a woman would say no to a man with kids especially if he has a whole lot of kids and it's a whole lot of nonsense going on I can understand that I agree actually
I totally agree with this message however it's much harder to find childless men to date especially when your 40yr..pickings are already slim at this rate I would be looking for another
unicorn🦄 lol
You are a unicorn. It will be worth the wait love.
I agree, I think it goes for both women and men.
As a childfree man I endorse this message completely. Childless people should NEVER date a single parent and this applies to both genders
Plus with them not being able to keep the relationship afloat,it can repeat on you
I am not responsible for their baggage...