Boundaries should be marry before you carry. This goes for both genders. If you have no intentions of getting married, stop having babies out of wedlock.
In this day and age, I say do what the so called "gold diggers" do. Those women will not carry a child for anyone that's not rich/has resources, think about it. Say what you want about them, but we're all gold diggers. In so saying, I don't' think you need to marry before you carry, but it does either expose who is intentional or puts the power of the law with an abandon single mother. Have fun, date around, but make sure the guy who you're having a child with for wants and can SUPPORT and PROVIDE for you and child.
This shit is on point. I agree with a lot of this. Just cause he created the child doesnt give him the right to all this other shit. Especially when you bring someone else into your life that you want to be a parent to your kid, but wont set these boundaries.
People need to set boundaries. Having a child with someone only means you had a child plain and simple. She makes a valid point! I don't know where all this foolishness with baby daddy's come from
Setting boundaries. My daughters father is a great financial provider. He has a drug problem though and I didn't want that around my child. It's an issue thay will away exist. I'm the queen. He loves me, and loves our daughter. He wanted to get married but once you marry an addict your stuck. I still sleep with him. He comes over and I go to his house. Any girl he may be "seeing" needs to know that I come first. Anytime I text him he answers me. He'll come whenever so baby daddy's depending on the man, is Not a good situation. His heart and his part will always belong to me.
I have been dealing with this for a year. I'm the new girlfriend of a baby daddy. His baby mama left him for another man in 2019. They have known eachother since 2007. They were together for 12.5 years. They were engaged but she didnt want to marry him. Last summer he and I started dating. Once she found out about me 1 month later her engagement canceled. Her fiancée thought the same thing I was thinking that they were still acting like they were dating with him always over there. Yes he and I were living together ànd we only had a 1 bedroom at that time but he would stay the night sometimes, have dinner and stay over late. I told him that wasn't healthy and that the kids will be confused by their actions. Thinking if they are so cool like this why can't they be together but then again they were always fussing and fighting. She was always arguing with him about something. Everytime I turn around she is always mad at him for something. She put him on child support in Jan of this year. I hate when she has messaged him late at night or early in the morning knowing it has nothing to deal with the kids. When she met me she told me no matter who he is dating no one will change their friemdship and no one will come between them because she is his baby mama. She is very controlling and narcissist. She has ruined his last relationship. She is constantly having him come to all of her family events. His family can't stand her. She alienated him from his family. She constantly schedules family dinners at her house or out at restaurants. I have told him like you are not her family. Your kids are your family. You have no obligation to her but the kids. I have recently noticed a change in him and their relationship. She has even stated that he is changing she thinks it's due to me. But we have talked about marriage and more kids.
Honestly you don't know who ruined his last relationship. They were together for 12.5 years. Sorry ma'am but you are the one on the outside looking in. It's like you're blaming her for everything. Foolish of you. He ruined his own relationships. Men that don't want anything to do with their BM are not going to let them ruin a thing. Best thing for you to do is get out. But by the looks of it you're not going anywhere. You're already blaming that woman and you only being with him for 1 year, literally don't know the half.
@@Itsque28 Thank you for taking time out to reply. I appreciate it. I know more now then I did before. I've talked to his mom, his dad and his sisters. They are gave me the same information from different points of view. Plus his ex told me from her mouth as well. The kids have talked to me as well from their own point of view. She left him because she no longer loved him. She didn't want to be with him anymore and she felt like she found someone better at that time. Things have made a 180 in there coparenting relationship. I'm now included in everything. He is no longer over there as much as he used to be. He has not been restricted from seeing the kids. We still have them on the weekends. He still sees them when he picks then up from school, practices and other events. There are now set boundaries in their coparenting relationship. Everything changed around father's day.
I do have one question .. what about a father who lives in another country and comes and visits 2-3 times a year for a couple weeks and wants to stay in my house
You should never allow a man that is not your husband to live in your house he can book a hotel. Him living with you can be dangerous for you sexually and block other dudes from taking you seriously. Follow me on my other channel the rich mom mindset
@@damilolaliz0 the first part no one needs to worry about we haven’t been in a sexual anything in over 7 years. He wouldn’t dare to touch me .. but you’re right the other part of a man not taking me seriously that’s facts! He’s what’s getting in the way of me meeting anyone and I’m ready to meet someone 💖
There is no way I would deal with a woman who lets her baby daddy/ex stay at her house for any reason. "2-3 times a year for a couple of weeks", I am sorry, but another man cannot flex about staying at my woman's place, no sex in 7yrs or not. I don't care if he lives on the moon, when he wants to see his kids he can create a place/hotel suite to enjoy/take them out.
I'm 19 and pregnant with twins right now, and I was with my boyfriend for a long time and we originally wanted to settle with each other, i wanted him really bad, and we lived together for a while and gave a lot to each other. When I found out I was pregnant he was excited and came to live with me, We were both really excited and thinking about getting married too. It was only after months of him living at my place with my family and I, that my family told him they wanted him to pay rent and get a job, and it took him so long to get a job, and then after that he left because my parents and I bugged him and he got so annoyed he just left and went to live back with his step mom. He ghosted me for a week and then told me he didn't want me, he said he wanted my kids and my dog and he's going to take them from me... I don't get it tho, I've done everything for him and he doesn't love me? Why not? I know I'm supposed to want him to want his kids too still, but I wanted him to want me too. I'm confused , if he doesn't want me, hasn't paid anything for my kids yet, my parents have bought everything. :/
I feel your pain cause I know your still emotionally attached to him at this point you have to accept that the love wasn’t there in the beginning you now need to plan if wants to see the kids he needs to pay child benefit follow me on my other channel @rich_mom_mindset I will talk more on this
Responsibility is what he was running from, unfortunately he's a kind of guy that would brag about his kids, but never set to build anything for them. As much as you love him and want a family with him, he will NEVER be that guy. My dad told me to never live at your woman's patents house, once you stated he was living at your parent house without a job, that was ALL I needed to hear. He is capping, he doesn't REALLY want the kids(BECAUSE MOST BABY DADDIES DON'T WANT TO BE THE 24/7 CUSTODIAL PARENT), he's saying that bc he knows you won't give them up. It's easy to move in with someone, instead of having a place for your woman to move into, that was the first red flag because he can easily leave, but if it was his place/lease he could just leave. From now on look for what a man shows you, not what he told you.
I love how you put everything real on point say it how it is love it real talk 🎉❤ love the part For every single mum out there There is a single dad Don’t forget ❤😅🥲🙌 We both seen each other naked , he has seen you naked 😅😂😂 love that Literally … why do us ladies get the bad name just because we have birth to the child
Boundaries should be marry before you carry. This goes for both genders. If you have no intentions of getting married, stop having babies out of wedlock.
In this day and age, I say do what the so called "gold diggers" do. Those women will not carry a child for anyone that's not rich/has resources, think about it. Say what you want about them, but we're all gold diggers. In so saying, I don't' think you need to marry before you carry, but it does either expose who is intentional or puts the power of the law with an abandon single mother. Have fun, date around, but make sure the guy who you're having a child with for wants and can SUPPORT and PROVIDE for you and child.
This shit is on point.
I agree with a lot of this.
Just cause he created the child doesnt give him the right to all this other shit. Especially when you bring someone else into your life that you want to be a parent to your kid, but wont set these boundaries.
People need to set boundaries. Having a child with someone only means you had a child plain and simple. She makes a valid point! I don't know where all this foolishness with baby daddy's come from
Super great advice. I’m also guilty of doing some of these things. Thank you for your video ❤
Same, lord forgive me
Setting boundaries. My daughters father is a great financial provider. He has a drug problem though and I didn't want that around my child. It's an issue thay will away exist. I'm the queen. He loves me, and loves our daughter. He wanted to get married but once you marry an addict your stuck. I still sleep with him. He comes over and I go to his house. Any girl he may be "seeing" needs to know that I come first. Anytime I text him he answers me. He'll come whenever so baby daddy's depending on the man, is Not a good situation. His heart and his part will always belong to me.
Im neither attending his wedding nor my child.
By law the father doesn’t have to pay child support to see his kids in America and there’s nothing we can do about it
I have been dealing with this for a year. I'm the new girlfriend of a baby daddy. His baby mama left him for another man in 2019. They have known eachother since 2007. They were together for 12.5 years. They were engaged but she didnt want to marry him. Last summer he and I started dating. Once she found out about me 1 month later her engagement canceled. Her fiancée thought the same thing I was thinking that they were still acting like they were dating with him always over there. Yes he and I were living together ànd we only had a 1 bedroom at that time but he would stay the night sometimes, have dinner and stay over late. I told him that wasn't healthy and that the kids will be confused by their actions. Thinking if they are so cool like this why can't they be together but then again they were always fussing and fighting. She was always arguing with him about something. Everytime I turn around she is always mad at him for something. She put him on child support in Jan of this year. I hate when she has messaged him late at night or early in the morning knowing it has nothing to deal with the kids. When she met me she told me no matter who he is dating no one will change their friemdship and no one will come between them because she is his baby mama. She is very controlling and narcissist. She has ruined his last relationship. She is constantly having him come to all of her family events. His family can't stand her. She alienated him from his family. She constantly schedules family dinners at her house or out at restaurants. I have told him like you are not her family. Your kids are your family. You have no obligation to her but the kids. I have recently noticed a change in him and their relationship. She has even stated that he is changing she thinks it's due to me. But we have talked about marriage and more kids.
Getout!!! He will still sleep with her and she wont tell you. if he stops he will have to go to court first visitations- which she will not abide by.
Honestly you don't know who ruined his last relationship. They were together for 12.5 years. Sorry ma'am but you are the one on the outside looking in.
It's like you're blaming her for everything. Foolish of you. He ruined his own relationships. Men that don't want anything to do with their BM are not going to let them ruin a thing.
Best thing for you to do is get out. But by the looks of it you're not going anywhere. You're already blaming that woman and you only being with him for 1 year, literally don't know the half.
@@Itsque28 Thank you for taking time out to reply. I appreciate it. I know more now then I did before. I've talked to his mom, his dad and his sisters. They are gave me the same information from different points of view. Plus his ex told me from her mouth as well. The kids have talked to me as well from their own point of view. She left him because she no longer loved him. She didn't want to be with him anymore and she felt like she found someone better at that time. Things have made a 180 in there coparenting relationship. I'm now included in everything. He is no longer over there as much as he used to be. He has not been restricted from seeing the kids. We still have them on the weekends. He still sees them when he picks then up from school, practices and other events. There are now set boundaries in their coparenting relationship. Everything changed around father's day.
Very good video
I've always wanted children. I feel it in my body. I've never felt marriage as a biological imperative.
Excellent points
I do have one question .. what about a father who lives in another country and comes and visits 2-3 times a year for a couple weeks and wants to stay in my house
You should never allow a man that is not your husband to live in your house he can book a hotel. Him living with you can be dangerous for you sexually and block other dudes from taking you seriously. Follow me on my other channel the rich mom mindset
@@damilolaliz0 the first part no one needs to worry about we haven’t been in a sexual anything in over 7 years. He wouldn’t dare to touch me .. but you’re right the other part of a man not taking me seriously that’s facts! He’s what’s getting in the way of me meeting anyone and I’m ready to meet someone 💖
There is no way I would deal with a woman who lets her baby daddy/ex stay at her house for any reason. "2-3 times a year for a couple of weeks", I am sorry, but another man cannot flex about staying at my woman's place, no sex in 7yrs or not. I don't care if he lives on the moon, when he wants to see his kids he can create a place/hotel suite to enjoy/take them out.
Omg I love this I needed this
I'm 19 and pregnant with twins right now, and I was with my boyfriend for a long time and we originally wanted to settle with each other, i wanted him really bad, and we lived together for a while and gave a lot to each other. When I found out I was pregnant he was excited and came to live with me,
We were both really excited and thinking about getting married too. It was only after months of him living at my place with my family and I, that my family told him they wanted him to pay rent and get a job, and it took him so long to get a job, and then after that he left because my parents and I bugged him and he got so annoyed he just left and went to live back with his step mom. He ghosted me for a week and then told me he didn't want me, he said he wanted my kids and my dog and he's going to take them from me... I don't get it tho, I've done everything for him and he doesn't love me? Why not? I know I'm supposed to want him to want his kids too still, but I wanted him to want me too. I'm confused , if he doesn't want me, hasn't paid anything for my kids yet, my parents have bought everything. :/
I feel your pain cause I know your still emotionally attached to him at this point you have to accept that the love wasn’t there in the beginning you now need to plan if wants to see the kids he needs to pay child benefit follow me on my other channel @rich_mom_mindset I will talk more on this
Seek deliverance. Look into "soul ties". Break that off in the name of Jesus!
Same story I had 😢
Responsibility is what he was running from, unfortunately he's a kind of guy that would brag about his kids, but never set to build anything for them. As much as you love him and want a family with him, he will NEVER be that guy. My dad told me to never live at your woman's patents house, once you stated he was living at your parent house without a job, that was ALL I needed to hear. He is capping, he doesn't REALLY want the kids(BECAUSE MOST BABY DADDIES DON'T WANT TO BE THE 24/7 CUSTODIAL PARENT), he's saying that bc he knows you won't give them up. It's easy to move in with someone, instead of having a place for your woman to move into, that was the first red flag because he can easily leave, but if it was his place/lease he could just leave.
From now on look for what a man shows you, not what he told you.
Hmmmm this is good, but what if the kids are under 5 and there’s no one to supervise outings except me the mother, what advice would you give ?
Straight facts,, boundaries people boundaries
Thank you very helpful
Disadvantages of dating a single mother
1. His or her child might accuse you falsely
2. Baby daddy drama
Let me just stop from their 😂
So don't date them 🤷🏼♀️
I love how you put everything real on point say it how it is love it real talk 🎉❤ love the part
For every single mum out there
There is a single dad
Don’t forget ❤😅🥲🙌
We both seen each other naked , he has seen you naked 😅😂😂 love that
Literally … why do us ladies get the bad name just because we have birth to the child
I have second channel that solely focus on single mom @rich_mum_mindset