hey everyone! a lot of you have been commenting that i should have a podcast but i DO! so check it out if you want! ☞ Talk Nasty To Me Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/57bGQm6PGTi9sPl8KK8C2s?si=-o_ssllkQSKn7pbNAqoKvA Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-nasty-to-me/id1507787405
I think that my existence is a burden but when she said that it didn’t help me at all I always seem to think encouragement is never directed towards me, sorry I just started ranting
@@sophie14263 at this point god doesn’t want me to be happy- i see motivation videos on my recommended so I watch them but then a few hours after I get my confidence back I get insulted or something bad happens. It always happens so at this point I’m just going to stop trying.
@@koiromii I have a hard time with anxiety and depression myself so i understand where you’re coming from but remember things you believe manifest into your reality . So just remind yourself that even if bad shit happens that no matter what you’re okay and everything will be better. Don’t let circumstances destroy your confidence, truly that’s you giving your power away to others. Lastly, it’s okay if you’re unmotivated or not confident at times you are human, and building your confidence and motivation is a healing journey on its own. Trust me you got this
my insecurity legit cured my insecurity. like i was thinking 'i'm so small and insignificant i don't matter' then it became 'that's right! i don't really matter! so if i do this thing that i want to do, it doesn't really matter because no one really cares, so i'll just do it!!" + a bunch of other personality glo ups. i now think i do matter, but i'm overall in a better place.
The thing is reflecting on your own insecurities and facing them head on instead of feeding into your own ego is truly the only way to appreciate yourself (good and bad). So, I’m proud of you for reflecting instead of trying to lie to yourself. QUEEN!
@@cailin_renee just what the girl said. I view my problems from a bigger point of view. even though us with social anxiety dont have that mindset sometimes just dont care, I know its not that easy as it sounds. Im not good at advice but thats all I know :) get better
something that has helped me (im sry this might not apply bc i do not have clinical anxiety) wARNING TOUGH LOVE someone i rlly respect once told me that he realised that "ur just not important enough for a stranger to rmbr" and honestly? that has helped me sm like literally, try it in the reverse: have u ever mocked someone or rmbred someone cos they did smtg that could be potentially embarrassing? cos u prob havent. (if u do, then thats on how YOU perceive others so mb u need to change ur own mindset and the way u view ppl) so um good luck!! hope u become more comfy!!
@@diilnuv7052 i totally agree, I try to keep this in mind whenever I feel anxious about little things. I tell myself that other people’s opinion shouldn’t even bother me since they don’t even know me
@Jade_West2010 Psychopaths change & morph tho... they don't have identities. There is truly no worry there, as far as I'm aware. Can you be "yourself" on your own alone in a room? That's you. Carry him/her with you at all times, that is the attraction to look for ❤
The best lesson I learned being 19 is that “No one cares about you” in the positive sense. Everyone has their life, their struggles and they literally don’t care about what you are doing. The only time in life where people care about you and judge it’s in middle school because they have NOTHING ELSE TO DO. Once you become an adult, you have so much stuff of your one, you don’t care about other people anymore. So please live your life as you want to 💛
I knowwww right? Sometimes I just say to myself "no one cares, calm down, no one cares" and it sort of brings me more peace. I can do whatever i want, no one cares, it's... Freedom:0
@Chaotic Demons Yesss! High school is so much different because everyone starts worrying about their future and their goals. I found high school so much better than middle school but again, it depends of each hs atmosphere.
Trueee, I also realized that it's not just the people u see at highschool but sometimes even your friends which is a little bit hard to admit that at first bcuz u know since we're young we always thought that we'll study or work in the same place as our friends, have the same dream,etc but once you enter high school shit gets serious and u realize this is real life and you should be sometimes selfish and put your future and mental health your number 1 priority
@@littlesadeo I hope for you that it will get better! Most of the time high school is much better but as I said above, it depends of each high school atmosphere. Nonetheless, it's just a small part of your life. Movie, series and even stories told by our parents are putting so much energy to portray your teenage years as this big dream, the best years of your life ... and if it is for some people, great for them. But for the most part, these are one of the hardest part of your life and we shouldn't put so much pressure on ourselves thinking "wow, i hate this place, am I missing something, am i doing it wrong?" Teenage years are haaaard, mostly because teenagers are hard on themselves and others. It's a phase when you are trying so hard to become an adult but you don't know anything about being an adult. So you try to "appear" as one and judge others who don't "appear" as adults. It's just stupid tbh, because it's stigmatizing growing people, but on the other hand it's also how we learn. So, if it's hard right now, try to be the bigger person, looks means nothing, being wise and mature is. Try to not care about what other people think (I know it's hard), live your life how YOU want to live it and most of the time what you'll see is that when you start not giving a f*ck and being your true self the right people will get drawn to you.
My mom always tells me not to speak badly of myself, even if it's just a self-deprecating joke, and I thought she just didn't get that type of humor. But now I honestly think she's super right, if you keep saying something negative about yourself, your soul is gonna believe it, no matter what your tone is on the outside.
Omg this comment. It just made me realize how I HAVE STOPPED MAKING JOKES THAT R MEAN TO MYSELF! it reminded me of how much I would always joke abt being ugly or stupid or boring and now I'm realizing I only make positive jokes... well some of them are a bit tainted by minor narcissism but we can disregard that. Anyways, yea jokes that are hurtful no matter what your intentions by making it are, will inevitably hold you back and I guess give you a subconscious feeling of not being confident. I've learned to try and keep things more optimistic so if I dont feel pretty one day ill find what I feel best about and say something like "well at least my hair looks great!" Its small but it helps!
Ikr, like, when I was in elementary school I used to feel as this super pretty kid because my family always said I was, but once I started middle school I started feeling kinda, invalid? So I started with self-depricating jokes and shit, that really fucked up my self-perception and the one other's had about me. As ridiculous as it may sound, you do start believing what you constantly repeat to yourself.
Ana Banana my mother said the opposite, she said i am the problem and that is why nobody wants to be friends with me or i am selfish and i only think of myself...which is not true, i was literally a doormat until recently...this was why i kept up with my bullies and never had the courage to leave them when they ill treated me so bad, now i would rather stay alone and selfish than be a doormat
@@jeetujoy1635 it's ok to be selfish. And you wanting to he nice to yourself isnt selfish at all. In the end you are the most important person in your life and you shouldnt have to feel guilty about loving yourself and treating yourself right. Your feelings are valid and if that's being selfish then be as selfish as you want! You deserve that :)
"the only person that knows you best is you" what if that's not true? Looks like my personality shifts to each person I talk to, and I feel like I have no personality. Therefore I know nothing about myself 😐
@@aliwasher3 hey there's nothing wrong with that!! It only means you have a versatile personality and each person you meet brings up a different side of you. It's not a bad thing, you're not being hypocritical or anything, it's how we as humans function. Same goes for texting with different people/talking on the phone etc, we pick up their style of conversation and they do too so you're both complimenting each other :)
When you think about it, it’s so dumb to think that you can’t do what you want, you can’t live YOUR life to the fullest, just because of what somebody else will thinks or say. Literally an opinion over YOUR happiness. I hate anxiety...
Honestly. I resonated with always having a mean girl friend at different points in my life. Always gaslighting me, literally bringing me down every chance they got. Honestly i think being the “quiet” type always attracted “mean” people.
the whole “always having a mean-girl friend” hits so close to home. i always wonder why i end up having toxic friends and im only coming to realize right now that its MY fault for letting them push me around always
I stopped caring when I realized that what they said did not change me with the words they said, only I have the power to change myself. I am in control of my life and no one can control me and my happiness.
1. Self reflect 2. Be comfortable w yourself 3. Like no one cares lol 4. Don’t ask for opinions 5. Think of yourself highly 6. Not everyone is gonna like you 7. You are SO small 8. Live for you
@@voynich7119 sameee it's like I doubt myself so much that I need constant assurance from people which sometimes does not workout and makes me feel shittier
"I would ask for people's opinion on so much and I realized I gave so many people power without even realizing it" this is so freaking true I wish I knew this before but still this video helped me realize so many things thanks to you🥺 your that cool older sister everyone wished they had love your videos and your advices means a whole world to me❤
fun fact: you inspired me to finally buy colored light bulbs on amazon ! so every time I watch one of your videos I match my lamp colour to yours lol it’s very fun & definitely gives me ~social distanced sleepover vibes~
idk when but over the past year i’ve developed such a “fuck it” attitude and it’s made me so much happier and given me so many good experiences ! one piece of advice i give to myself and my friends constantly is “it’s only awkward if you make it awkward” seems simple and silly but that lil bit of push and reassurance has gotten me so far:)
YESS OMG I say that to my friends all the time when they mention something about awkwardness and i’ll be like “it’s only awkward if U make if awkward” like literally
The fuck it attitude really works when one stands on their own, not with their legs 😂 but financially and mentally. When i was mentally awoke and dared to anything in my life like yeah the "comeon fuck it bro", i was broke af, but now am im a job with money idk kinda overflowing, i miss my old me. The fuck it person. Situations change and people change. One who can say fuck it right from the moment they make money and fame are the real OG...
the thing is: I don't even know who I'm anymore. I've spend my whole life trying to b someone that I'm not just to people notice me and get their approval. and now that I get to spend more time alone with myself I don't know the things I like, clothes i like, even my own personality
learn to get to know yourself!! like in the process of beginning to date somebody you’re learning everything about them, but that somebody is you this time around. when you get to know yourself eventually you’ll learn to love yourself, all your imperfections and your weaknesses & all your flaws to all your perfections & all your strengths.
@@ash-ru3ij you can change that ! Just spend time with yourself and try to ask questions. You’ll get to find out without even realizing it ! Personnally, my quarantine didn’t make me any more confident about myself. Even less actually. But I still got to spend a lot of time with myself and it’s helped me find out who I am very much !
“For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
I've been betrayed by a lot of my friends, while I was there for them giving them mental support, they talked behind my back, hated me, betrayed me, excluded me Now it's my time to shine, I won't give a f about anyone, I'll be at my peace and thanks so much!! This vid is gonna a lot!!
"It's not my business of what other people think of me." Bruh i literally sat on my bed, paused the video, and just stared at my ceiling like "Oh my god, she is so freaking right-" Like honestly, i will keep that quote in my head.
Sometimes I watch videos without audio or subtitles while multitasking. In this video it was just so great to see Nicole looking so confident and happy chilling on her bed and speaking her mind. It's amazing how much a sense of independence can fuel your energy and everything you do.
i was just throwing myself a pity party about how my parents disapproves me being a lesbian, vegan, and having tattoos... although im only a second into the video, thank you nicole update;; I feel better after giving myself an off day to take care of myself ^^ thank y’all so! much! for all the kind reassurance, they make me feel all fuzzy and warm inside, you’re all caring and amazing people truly
Bro ur sound so fucking awesome and u shouldnt care what your parents think as long as you have people who love and care about you youll be fine in life :>
i agree with the two above me. you’re amazing and i’m a lesbian and vegetarian and even tho my parents somewhat accept me i understand how you feel. just say fuck you to the world. you’re amazing inside and out and u seem like such a chill person. all of you’re friends are lucky to have u💕☺️
The best thing I can tell you is that people will judge you, and make fun of you for anything you do. You can either see that in a negative or a positive way. Think of it like this, since people will always judge you, you might as well do whatever the hell you want. Do what makes you happy. You will be judged for being girly, manly, goth, emo or whatever. Be you, be happy
Yess true. People get bashed for whatever they do, even if its the nicest thing. They'll say "she's fake nice". But there will always be people who will love you the way you are. Thats the thing about human, there are many types of people
I watch this video at least a handful of times a month and it’s the only thing that gets through to me despite my therapists, psychiatrists, those around me etc. so thank you genuinely.
I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't have sex, I don't eat meat, I Love God And people think I'm strange Maybe it's time I stopped giving a shit about what people think about me The right people will love me
try to think about it like this: if you see someone alone in a cafe or restaurant or shopping by themselves do you even notice? if you do notice, what do you think of them? do you think they are weird and its kind of awkward, or do you not care and forget about their existence in 5 seconds as you walk past. or maybe like what you said you admire them and think they are cool. if you think neutrally or positively you shouldnt be afraid of doing things alone. its super cool and not a big deal, everyone will forget about your existence in maximum 5 minutes
one tip that helped me! Okay, If you’re insecure about your outfit at school or in public, think about this. Most people spend way too much time worrying about themselves than other people. So when your feeling insecure about your outfit (etc.), just think that people aren’t really caring or paying attention to what you wear everyday. I used to think everyone was staring at me, but then I realized I was the only one staring at myself. P.S., I don’t even remember or think about what the other people in public are wearing, so they’re probably not thinking about your outfit! (Another edit: I’m using outfits as an example, it could be anything :))
Can I ask you something else Ummm..so u know I talk with sacrarsm when i m with my parents and yeah I get scolded a lot too and that's how I am but..when I'm in public I become super shy..like tooo much I'm like a 🐅 in home and mouse 🐁outside
"I've had to accept that - that everyone cannot love me. Because when there's love, there's hate. When there's light, there's dark. But it was really hard to accept as an artist that there's a lot of people that hate me, but on the other side, there are many more people who love me. I think everyone goes through that." - Kim Namjoon "Your presence can give happiness. I hope you remember that." - Kim Seokjin
“It’s not my business what anyone else thinks of me” that line was so freeing. It hit me and now I have to repeat that over and over until I fully absorb it. Thank you.
"life is just a lot more fun, when you live for you and only you" ... new beginnings ; i really feel like i tapped into a new chapter. i;m ready. thank you. i have the keys.
Doesn’t matter what others think about you because they never lived your life. Felt your pain or your struggle. The only one person’s opinion that matters about you is your own not the outside world.
Tip: Even if you have 0 confidence, 0 self love, and the lowest self esteem, all you have to do is ‘fake it till you make it’. Take care of yourself, treat yourself well and stop listening to all the negative stuff going on in your head and literally change your perspective. First, the ‘spotlight effect’: The spotlight effect is the belief that all attention is on you in public, when really that’s only in your head. In reality, nobody cares. Everyone else is too busy with their own lives and they’re all focused on themselves, and they could even be worrying if everyone else is judging them too, just like you are. So stop being so self conscious because even if someone acknowledges you (if something embarrassing happens) then they will literally forget about it in a few seconds. PEOPLE. DONT. CARE. So, whenever you’re in public, look confident so that you’re not the one getting intimidated by others, but THEY’RE getting intimidated by YOU. Shoulders back, stand up straight and tall, and if needed, make eye contact with people if they’re doing it to you. DO NOT be afraid of eyes. Anyway, you need to change your mindset and KNOW your worth so that other people see it too, and trust me, you will be ever so respected. Love you, and I hope whoever is reading this has a blessed day ❤️
Lol I’ve been using the “spot light affect” when I feel like everyone is looking at me then I get paranoid. That they still looking, but they’re still looking. Or it’s all my head But no they’re looking. I always catch people staring at me like when I was in school I caught 5 or 6 people looking at me. I mean idk lol it’s weird 🙃🙅🏽♂️
I feel like whether or not I care about an opinion is largely variable. Like I REALLY care if someone thinks I'm dumb or unlikeable, so I try to avoid anything that would lead to those judgments, but I give ZERO (jk negative ten) sh*ts if someone could perceive my choices as weird...like if I chose not to drink (i drink but i couldnt think of a better example lol). It's like the stuff that's harder to change are the things that I find myself worrying about. Anyone else feel this way?
Yeah right?! the perceivedrepresentation outweighs my decision making on smaller thing!! also this feeling sometimes it gets better and sometimes it gets worse.
i completely get you!! i feel the same way, it just varies a ton. i feel like it’s so much easier to logically be like “these are the reasons i shouldn’t care” rather than not caring. it even depends on the person? like if someone i don’t know thinks something it might affect me more/less than if it’s a friend depending on who it is.
First of all I literally love ur videos and I had no idea you watched Nichole to! And yes I feel that way all the time. I don't want to seem stupid or weak to others and it really bothers me even tho I know it shouldn't.
This video has actually helped me so much. I listen to it at work with my headphones on to remind myself no one cares and I shouldn’t either. I think about it all the time when I’m anxious and out in public.
i sat in the shower balling my eyes out to the point where i couldn’t breathe and i went to youtube to get my mind off of stuff and this popped up in recommended (totally not weird) but watching this made me feel a lot better so from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU💘💘💘
I'm only 5 minutes in and she is just speaking facts. During quarantine, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and care for myself. I've been complimenting myself even for simple stuff like whenever I can make my family members happy, or even complimenting myself when I think I look good on certain days. Positive thoughts can help you find confidence in yourself. It took me quarantine to realize how much I truly love myself. I deserve good things because I am a good person, always doing my best and being kind and patient with others. I help people when they have problems, and have for a long time. But for a while I stopped caring about myself, and thought my only purpose was to be there for others and that I was meant to think terrible stuff about myself and hate myself. I saw someone who wasn't good enough, that wanted to fit in and was on the outside. I took so much time caring what other people thought of me, which left me miserable and feeling like everyone judged me. One of my biggest insecurities for about two years is that I picked my pimples and left scars. I picked mainly because of stress and satisfaction for just a second. But the guilt of it followed me, and it was an endless cycle of picking from the stress of what I did before mixed in with the other crazy stuff happening in my life that I'm not going to mention. But when I truly stopped and looked at the moments in my life that I was at my best, I saw a great person in me. One time I heard a saying that said, "If other people don't know you personally, don't take what they say personal." This is a great saying, and you should tell yourself that. Tell yourself that you matter, and you are amazing, and if other people don't like you, why does it matter? If someone says something mean to you, about your personality or appearance or whatever it may be, is it truly going to matter? I've been boosting my self esteem so much during this time alone, and when I hung out with my friends for the first time in a while, I showed them the true me. I also recently told myself that I am sick of the pain I feel when I pick my face, so I am going to break my habit. I have been on a streak for about a week now, and my skin is way clearer and not as scabby. I know this is one thing I will have to accomplish to truly satisfy myself, and I won't stop trying. I'll try to not let little things get to me, because I don't deserve to feel stressed. I deserve my own self-respect. Don't let anyone break your stride. You freaking rule!!!!
I love this comment :) and wow, I don't know if you believe in manifestation/law of attraction, but you're doing yourself the best service one could do for themselves. by complimenting yourself, helping other people, just putting ANY sort of positivity out there (to yourself or others)-- it is universal 👏law👏 that it comes back to you. nothing is coincidental in this universe. you receive exactly what you give. like when you feel annoyed and everything else becomes annoying .. you not only notice more annoying things but you also attract more annoying things to you. same thing with positivity (aka love- the highest frequency). it comes back in your life in ways you probably don't connect with the initial energy you put out, but everything is a correlation to your thoughts and actions. people don't know the power of putting out that energy- it literally shapes your life/world, and apparently it only takes 51% of positive thoughts over negative to tip the scales. k there's my rant I just finished a book ab this and you are talking about exactly what they said to do and i'm just so happy for you ~~
I was literally having my 362849th existential crisis this year and stressing about college and life and society’s pressure - I am literally so glad that I found your channel and this community because it’s weirdly calming to know that I’m not completely alone with these thoughts.. so basically just: thank you!!
damn thats exactly what ive been stressing about lately too...you’re definitely not alone and you’re doing great! keep on fighting against these dumb expectations and im sure you’ll do great things in life
I'm literally 17 right now, and you really slap my face. last year was a total nightmare to me, some experiences I'm still healing from but seeing you, couple years older than me and be done with other people judgments make me believe I can do the same. I will work on my confidence and take more care of myself. thank you for slap gorgeous ☃️
@@eimearh721 I came to the conclusion recently that you can never really change other people, we can only change ourselves and because society= all people in the world, trying to change society is just a waste of your time and energy. I personally think that the only way to change society is to change ourselves and kinda "lead by example"...
You have no idea how freakin much this helped me. During my junior and senior year of high school I was so good at just not caring but once quarantine hit and I stopped being social I picked these habits back up and it’s been so rough. I don’t want to feel this way though and I’m trying to work my way back out in small ways, like looking in a mirror and saying I look nice today, singing, dancing, doing things I enjoy. It’s so liberating and I think I’m on the right track to feeling happy in my own body and self again.
5:46 Do you realize how fast you shifted my perspective saying, "It's not my business what anyone else thinks of me" You seriously just mind blew me and I seriously respect you for that. The first glimpse of self love is starting to mentally and emotionally fill inside of me.
i've come back to this video 10 different times since its been posted and i never was able to actually grasp the advice until this time, i'm so proud of myself because i'm finally letting myself grow for myself instead of for other people, so i guess what i'm trying to say is.. thank you for this video even though it took 10 times for my brain to grasp the concept, thank you.
the mean girl friend is sooooo true !! I’ve exclusively had a slue of mean girl friends my whole life until just before college and then I kinda just flipped the switch and stopped caring and realize I’m,,,allowed to do what I want?? I’m glad someone put that into words !!!
It would be really cool to see you talking about friendship (how to make friends, keep friends and find ones that actually have your back etc) in a video like this!
I am 46. Been married and divorced and I have allowed other people’s opinions rule my life since I was about 12 yrs old! Honestly, I’m DONE with that sh*t! I am better than that! Trying to LEARN how to not allow others opinions about me, affect me is not easy! AND 2021 is the year that I will FINALLY let go of everyone’s opinions. How to do that? I am still unclear. Starting the journey though is the first step! 💞🥰
yeah, I could literally give less of a shit about someone's opinion unless it comes from someone who's extremely close to me. close family, close friends, s/o, etc
Same to me (kinda) This actually why I searched for this! Don't get me wrong my mom loves me and i know it, it's just that i like wanna impress her probably ever since I got conscious of my value and like how i realized recently that out of my 15 years of living it's the first time I heard someone say "appreciate" because of what I did for them and that's not even "i appreciate your existence" and it was from an online friend because of online schooling And i also wanted to impress her since the time she posted on Facebook that she was proud of my brother and tbh i do get it since he does put more effort on certain things, so now I have the feeling of the need to impress her and i want to get rid of that feeling and just start living for myself and get that heavy feeling of my back
hey everyone! a lot of you have been commenting that i should have a podcast but i DO! so check it out if you want!
☞ Talk Nasty To Me
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/57bGQm6PGTi9sPl8KK8C2s?si=-o_ssllkQSKn7pbNAqoKvA
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-nasty-to-me/id1507787405
You sound like a narcissist
@@linkinparkfan06 you got a lot of hate in your heart, get well soon!
Nicole Rafiee okay narcissist
Nicole Rafiee go on about how much you think you’re amazing.
@@linkinparkfan06 and you just sound very sad
👁👄👁
this literally feels like a facetime call. im so here for it.
when is the next one ahaa
S A M E
@@yhennywoo Hiii! Hope you're having a great day so far!!❤ Would you mind checking out my channel? That'd mean a lot to me!😭🥺
you people have facetimes like this? ugh i wish
yes. We fwiends now
“The moment you stop caring is the day you start living” - Harry Styles
King
yes, love that quote from him!
Absolute king 👑
Is it the same to me if I ignore how my classmates getting 78.97 as answer in a math question while mine is 69^2?
I love harry
“Your existence is not a burden” I really needed to hear that
Same, I had the feeling yesterday that I was a burden. But now I realized I was just self conscious.
Same
I think that my existence is a burden but when she said that it didn’t help me at all I always seem to think encouragement is never directed towards me, sorry I just started ranting
Same
yesyesyes
My anxiety: it’s illegal to gain so much confidence and motivation.
dis.
@@sophie14263 at this point god doesn’t want me to be happy- i see motivation videos on my recommended so I watch them but then a few hours after I get my confidence back I get insulted or something bad happens. It always happens so at this point I’m just going to stop trying.
@@koiromii and make sure to eat & drink something
@@koiromii your the one in control remember would u insult somebody and why it’s usually not out of confidence
@@koiromii I have a hard time with anxiety and depression myself so i understand where you’re coming from but remember things you believe manifest into your reality . So just remind yourself that even if bad shit happens that no matter what you’re okay and everything will be better. Don’t let circumstances destroy your confidence, truly that’s you giving your power away to others. Lastly, it’s okay if you’re unmotivated or not confident at times you are human, and building your confidence and motivation is a healing journey on its own. Trust me you got this
I feel super confident at home and don’t give a shit but in school or just outside I become so anxious
SAME!
Same 😭
YES
This is sooo MEE
Hey mochiiiii !!!!
my insecurity legit cured my insecurity. like i was thinking 'i'm so small and insignificant i don't matter' then it became 'that's right! i don't really matter! so if i do this thing that i want to do, it doesn't really matter because no one really cares, so i'll just do it!!" + a bunch of other personality glo ups.
i now think i do matter, but i'm overall in a better place.
im so happy for you! keep going
Lol it’s funny
The thing is reflecting on your own insecurities and facing them head on instead of feeding into your own ego is truly the only way to appreciate yourself (good and bad). So, I’m proud of you for reflecting instead of trying to lie to yourself. QUEEN!
Loophole
Me: **tries to vibe**
My social anxiety: *yo is that kid laughing at you rn?*
This is literally the most accurate thing ive seen
Its so sad of the fact that so many people have social anxiety including me. ._.
@ -AxaKatie - me too, it sucks. I really hope you’re ok boo :( it sucks having it, and i wish i knew how to help you and myself lol. Anyone have tips?
@@cailin_renee just what the girl said. I view my problems from a bigger point of view. even though us with social anxiety dont have that mindset sometimes just dont care, I know its not that easy as it sounds. Im not good at advice but thats all I know :) get better
i cried for 2 whole periods for a .5 lower than everyone else
Guys when ur around people, instead of worrying about how you can impress others, think about how they will impress you. Confidence level 20000
DAMN this was the best advice ever
ily
This is so good thx sm💖
@@elenavernet2289 np! glad i could help💕💕
😂😂that's funny
see my problem is i have never cared about what others think of me, it’s my OWN thoughts and standards that bully me lol
ok literally i was about to comment something like this because i feel the same 😂
Same..
THANK YOU
reese gets it lol
YES!
*THE FACT THAT RUclips RECOMMEND THIS TO ME SAYS A LOT .*
I NEED THIS-
ikr
Ikr same
Omg no fair you're so pretty
IKR-
me: i feel great
someone: *glances at my direction*
my anxiety: 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈
Me 😂 I physically jump whenever I make sudden eye contact with someone 🤦🏻♀️ it’s like calm down
Lol me
fr or someone says something and it kinda applies to me a bit and i assume it's abt me and it's usually negative
MEEEE OMG
That’s the only reason I don’t have a job yet 💀
I feel like when you stop caring, you start living your fullest potential and start living your best life.
Indeed, just take good care of yourself and do you.
i liked this sleepover. i think ima stay for a lil while.
Why is no one commenting? Loll
@@growingdying IKKKKKKKK 💀💀💀💀
hahah your profile matches the video
“It’s not my business what anyone else thinks of me” a literal fact
she literally said this while i was reading this comment. that’s weirdddddd😂
@@holaheyo8935 love when that happens lol
hola heyo lmaoooo
Lana del rey the goddess herself has also said something similar to this effect and it is something that has stuck with me since.
@@lavaniadelrey2807 and thats why ur a fan?! :)
me: watches this video and gets motivated af
my anxiety: how BOLD OF YOU
why are you so LOUD!😂
Wow so relatable but also love that I rounded off the likes to 300 😂
something that has helped me (im sry this might not apply bc i do not have clinical anxiety) wARNING TOUGH LOVE
someone i rlly respect once told me that he realised that "ur just not important enough for a stranger to rmbr" and honestly? that has helped me sm like literally, try it in the reverse: have u ever mocked someone or rmbred someone cos they did smtg that could be potentially embarrassing? cos u prob havent. (if u do, then thats on how YOU perceive others so mb u need to change ur own mindset and the way u view ppl) so um good luck!! hope u become more comfy!!
@@diilnuv7052 i totally agree, I try to keep this in mind whenever I feel anxious about little things. I tell myself that other people’s opinion shouldn’t even bother me since they don’t even know me
I'm over hear looking like a scared Luigi
"Don't change so people will like you, be yourself so the right people will love you"
Amen
this!
But don’t be a psychopath either lmao
@Jade_West2010 Psychopaths change & morph tho... they don't have identities. There is truly no worry there, as far as I'm aware.
Can you be "yourself" on your own alone in a room? That's you. Carry him/her with you at all times, that is the attraction to look for ❤
The best lesson I learned being 19 is that “No one cares about you” in the positive sense. Everyone has their life, their struggles and they literally don’t care about what you are doing. The only time in life where people care about you and judge it’s in middle school because they have NOTHING ELSE TO DO. Once you become an adult, you have so much stuff of your one, you don’t care about other people anymore. So please live your life as you want to 💛
I knowwww right? Sometimes I just say to myself "no one cares, calm down, no one cares" and it sort of brings me more peace. I can do whatever i want, no one cares, it's... Freedom:0
@Chaotic Demons Yesss! High school is so much different because everyone starts worrying about their future and their goals. I found high school so much better than middle school but again, it depends of each hs atmosphere.
Trueee, I also realized that it's not just the people u see at highschool but sometimes even your friends which is a little bit hard to admit that at first bcuz u know since we're young we always thought that we'll study or work in the same place as our friends, have the same dream,etc but once you enter high school shit gets serious and u realize this is real life and you should be sometimes selfish and put your future and mental health your number 1 priority
Louisa Rochdi
I hope so because middle school was hell
@@littlesadeo I hope for you that it will get better! Most of the time high school is much better but as I said above, it depends of each high school atmosphere. Nonetheless, it's just a small part of your life. Movie, series and even stories told by our parents are putting so much energy to portray your teenage years as this big dream, the best years of your life ... and if it is for some people, great for them. But for the most part, these are one of the hardest part of your life and we shouldn't put so much pressure on ourselves thinking "wow, i hate this place, am I missing something, am i doing it wrong?" Teenage years are haaaard, mostly because teenagers are hard on themselves and others. It's a phase when you are trying so hard to become an adult but you don't know anything about being an adult. So you try to "appear" as one and judge others who don't "appear" as adults. It's just stupid tbh, because it's stigmatizing growing people, but on the other hand it's also how we learn. So, if it's hard right now, try to be the bigger person, looks means nothing, being wise and mature is. Try to not care about what other people think (I know it's hard), live your life how YOU want to live it and most of the time what you'll see is that when you start not giving a f*ck and being your true self the right people will get drawn to you.
My mom always tells me not to speak badly of myself, even if it's just a self-deprecating joke, and I thought she just didn't get that type of humor. But now I honestly think she's super right, if you keep saying something negative about yourself, your soul is gonna believe it, no matter what your tone is on the outside.
exactly! this is what i always say to myself and to my friends
Omg this comment. It just made me realize how I HAVE STOPPED MAKING JOKES THAT R MEAN TO MYSELF! it reminded me of how much I would always joke abt being ugly or stupid or boring and now I'm realizing I only make positive jokes... well some of them are a bit tainted by minor narcissism but we can disregard that. Anyways, yea jokes that are hurtful no matter what your intentions by making it are, will inevitably hold you back and I guess give you a subconscious feeling of not being confident. I've learned to try and keep things more optimistic so if I dont feel pretty one day ill find what I feel best about and say something like "well at least my hair looks great!" Its small but it helps!
Ikr, like, when I was in elementary school I used to feel as this super pretty kid because my family always said I was, but once I started middle school I started feeling kinda, invalid? So I started with self-depricating jokes and shit, that really fucked up my self-perception and the one other's had about me. As ridiculous as it may sound, you do start believing what you constantly repeat to yourself.
Ana Banana my mother said the opposite, she said i am the problem and that is why nobody wants to be friends with me or i am selfish and i only think of myself...which is not true, i was literally a doormat until recently...this was why i kept up with my bullies and never had the courage to leave them when they ill treated me so bad, now i would rather stay alone and selfish than be a doormat
@@jeetujoy1635 it's ok to be selfish. And you wanting to he nice to yourself isnt selfish at all. In the end you are the most important person in your life and you shouldnt have to feel guilty about loving yourself and treating yourself right. Your feelings are valid and if that's being selfish then be as selfish as you want! You deserve that :)
“oh it’s a black screen, get super duper close. do u see yourself?”
me, laying on my bed at night completely dark: 👁👄👁
Omgggggg same lol and I was like if I look I’ll burn my eyed
Me trying to see myself at 4am:⚫️👄⚫️
omg i love ur pfp🥺 i love mars sm
MEEEE
yepp!! same
My new mantra has been “I belong in every room I walk in” and this mindset has changed the game!!!
“your existence is not a burden.”
you have no idea how much i needed to hear that right now.
Its true!
how are you doing today?
SHE JUST SAID THAT WHEN I READ THIS COMMENT GGVHGFHGVJGHFGDWTTUHEUEND
Lol i wish that was true XD
this is how I stoped hating my self:
I realized that the only person that stoping you is you and the only person that knows you best is you
PREACH
"the only person that knows you best is you" what if that's not true? Looks like my personality shifts to each person I talk to, and I feel like I have no personality. Therefore I know nothing about myself 😐
And my parents say they know best
@@maya2463 lmfao sounds cheesy but that's true tho
@@aliwasher3 hey there's nothing wrong with that!! It only means you have a versatile personality and each person you meet brings up a different side of you. It's not a bad thing, you're not being hypocritical or anything, it's how we as humans function. Same goes for texting with different people/talking on the phone etc, we pick up their style of conversation and they do too so you're both complimenting each other :)
When you think about it, it’s so dumb to think that you can’t do what you want, you can’t live YOUR life to the fullest, just because of what somebody else will thinks or say. Literally an opinion over YOUR happiness. I hate anxiety...
EXACTLY!!!
THIS
exactly fuck anxiety
this is why im starting a youtube channel, its my way to stop caring about others ppls opinions and to start doing things for myself
fuck anxiety
Other people aren’t thinking about you, they are too busy thinking about what you may think of them.
This comment made me smile
she’s the type of girl that I want to have as a friend in high-school ☹️
How about being that friend to your friends or to someone else if u don't have friends (which is totally fine btw)?👀
The people who disliked this are the mean girlfriends
omg yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Or mean boyfriends
Another Episode With: How to Stop Caring About Others Opinions with The Fairy-God Virgo
FAIRY GOD VIRGO can we get that on a sweatshirt please and thank you
isa B yes please omg !!! ♍️♍️
isa B I would buy that and wear it 24/7 not gonna lie
thats how us virgos be
This is the one time im glad to be virgo 😂
Honestly. I resonated with always having a mean girl friend at different points in my life. Always gaslighting me, literally bringing me down every chance they got.
Honestly i think being the “quiet” type always attracted “mean” people.
Imagine being her irl friend and you actually have sleepovers like this, and not talk about men but talk about self worth
that'd be so cool
omg that'll be an iconic memory
That sounds really nice
how i wish ...
i do this with my friends i love it
*She's like an older sister and I'm here for it*
YES
@@user-iu5wr3en3j me too
Same here but like a more self-actualized younger sister
SAME SIS
One thing I noticed in life...if you actively seek someone’s approval, you often don’t get it.
Hmm interesting
^!!!
wow, thats actually so true
🥺🥺
This is so true !!!
the whole “always having a mean-girl friend” hits so close to home. i always wonder why i end up having toxic friends and im only coming to realize right now that its MY fault for letting them push me around always
I stopped caring when I realized that what they said did not change me with the words they said, only I have the power to change myself. I am in control of my life and no one can control me and my happiness.
i love this
thank you. your words really made my day 🥰
Thank you for that ❤️
yes! thank you for saying these words :)
1. Self reflect
2. Be comfortable w yourself
3. Like no one cares lol
4. Don’t ask for opinions
5. Think of yourself highly
6. Not everyone is gonna like you
7. You are SO small
8. Live for you
Wym we are small? I don't understand
@@flarisa2737 the universe has billions and billions of galaxies, we are just one speck.
4 is the most important for me right now. I ask for reassurance soo often before I do something.
@@voynich7119 sameee it's like I doubt myself so much that I need constant assurance from people which sometimes does not workout and makes me feel shittier
@@voynich7119 true!! I was constantly asking for validation
Nicole: “I know I’m not a therapist “
Me: “ You’re better than my therapist “
PERIOD.
Better than mine too, she left the city 😅 I’m not crying
the profile picture ❤️
lottie thank you! ♥️
Riya Parmar ♥️
"I would ask for people's opinion on so much and I realized I gave so many people power without even realizing it" this is so freaking true I wish I knew this before but still this video helped me realize so many things thanks to you🥺 your that cool older sister everyone wished they had love your videos and your advices means a whole world to me❤
fun fact: you inspired me to finally buy colored light bulbs on amazon ! so every time I watch one of your videos I match my lamp colour to yours lol it’s very fun & definitely gives me ~social distanced sleepover vibes~
everyone liking this better get themselves some colour changing smart bulbs !! lumiman ones are $20 for a pack of 2 lol and they’re the best
@@kenzieplantlady i have to get my brother a new one since my cat broke his lol but i might as well get some for myselff
charles carmello do it!!! life changing
I have a colored light bulb in my room and my living room and my kitchen. My house can be rainbow if i want.🤣🤣🤣
Tuna Can omg I love that
"but i know i'm not ugly!"
DAMN GIRL YAS THE CONFIDENCE!
@@sirprize5191 why is everybody describing themselves..😭
@@idkidkyuhhh39 fr! Also nice username 🐇and pfp!
CANT relate
idk when but over the past year i’ve developed such a “fuck it” attitude and it’s made me so much happier and given me so many good experiences ! one piece of advice i give to myself and my friends constantly is “it’s only awkward if you make it awkward” seems simple and silly but that lil bit of push and reassurance has gotten me so far:)
YESS OMG I say that to my friends all the time when they mention something about awkwardness and i’ll be like “it’s only awkward if U make if awkward” like literally
The fuck it attitude really works when one stands on their own, not with their legs 😂 but financially and mentally. When i was mentally awoke and dared to anything in my life like yeah the "comeon fuck it bro", i was broke af, but now am im a job with money idk kinda overflowing, i miss my old me. The fuck it person. Situations change and people change. One who can say fuck it right from the moment they make money and fame are the real OG...
“It’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed” 😂 I love that kind of advice x
awkward's my personality trait tho😖😖
Yess, my God, I always see people doing such weird things and acting so confident that it becomes natural
she woke up and decided to speak FACTS and preach like a QUEEN.
the thing is: I don't even know who I'm anymore. I've spend my whole life trying to b someone that I'm not just to people notice me and get their approval. and now that I get to spend more time alone with myself I don't know the things I like, clothes i like, even my own personality
learn to get to know yourself!! like in the process of beginning to date somebody you’re learning everything about them, but that somebody is you this time around. when you get to know yourself eventually you’ll learn to love yourself, all your imperfections and your weaknesses & all your flaws to all your perfections & all your strengths.
im struggling to find my own personality too, i feel like society has forced me into becoming something im not
@@ash-ru3ij you can change that ! Just spend time with yourself and try to ask questions. You’ll get to find out without even realizing it ! Personnally, my quarantine didn’t make me any more confident about myself. Even less actually. But I still got to spend a lot of time with myself and it’s helped me find out who I am very much !
same
felt :c lets try our best to find ourselves, try things and see what we like, who we like, and why we like them! Lets do it together
No, I can’t see myself, Nikki Nasty. My phone is absolutely COVERED in finger prints.
“For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
I've been betrayed by a lot of my friends, while I was there for them giving them mental support, they talked behind my back, hated me, betrayed me, excluded me
Now it's my time to shine, I won't give a f about anyone, I'll be at my peace and thanks so much!! This vid is gonna a lot!!
yesss slay gurl! ✨ 😍
We were in the same place. I want to start loving myself too, so I'll cheer you on as well!
"It's not my business of what other people think of me."
Bruh i literally sat on my bed, paused the video, and just stared at my ceiling like "Oh my god, she is so freaking right-" Like honestly, i will keep that quote in my head.
"I'm in my bed and your in your bed"
me on the toilet: 👁️👄👁️
sis lets be honest i live on the pot so..
Sameeee
@@Leelasings Hiii! Hope you're having a great day so far!!❤ Would you mind checking out my channel? That'd mean a lot to me!😭🥺
@@Leelasings POT-
😂😂👌🏼
this is a video i didn’t even know i needed🥺 I absolutely love your vibe, amazing advice
I know rights it’s one of the best videoes that I didn’t know I needed to see
True
I knew just didn't want to admit it
Sometimes I watch videos without audio or subtitles while multitasking. In this video it was just so great to see Nicole looking so confident and happy chilling on her bed and speaking her mind. It's amazing how much a sense of independence can fuel your energy and everything you do.
i was just throwing myself a pity party about how my parents disapproves me being a lesbian, vegan, and having tattoos... although im only a second into the video, thank you nicole
update;;
I feel better after giving myself an off day to take care of myself ^^
thank y’all so! much! for all the kind reassurance, they make me feel all fuzzy and warm inside, you’re all caring and amazing people truly
Bro ur sound so fucking awesome and u shouldnt care what your parents think as long as you have people who love and care about you youll be fine in life :>
Yeah you sound amazing ur def the type of person I’d love to be friends with. U don’t need their approval
i agree with the two above me. you’re amazing and i’m a lesbian and vegetarian and even tho my parents somewhat accept me i understand how you feel. just say fuck you to the world. you’re amazing inside and out and u seem like such a chill person. all of you’re friends are lucky to have u💕☺️
also i would KILL to have tattoos like that would be so fricken cool
vegang 😎
The best thing I can tell you is that people will judge you, and make fun of you for anything you do. You can either see that in a negative or a positive way. Think of it like this, since people will always judge you, you might as well do whatever the hell you want. Do what makes you happy. You will be judged for being girly, manly, goth, emo or whatever. Be you, be happy
Omg u changed my life
@@sarakrepsa5718 lmao lies-
Or don't post anything in social media
@@ellxsism7067 no this is a good way of saying it
Yess true. People get bashed for whatever they do, even if its the nicest thing. They'll say "she's fake nice". But there will always be people who will love you the way you are. Thats the thing about human, there are many types of people
I'm laying on my bed just like you and it feels like we are besties giving eachother advice
ikr
I watch this video at least a handful of times a month and it’s the only thing that gets through to me despite my therapists, psychiatrists, those around me etc. so thank you genuinely.
nicole: think about it, are you out to get anyone?
me: *yes*
nicole: no
me: no
Lol 🤣🤣🤣
BAJHAHJA
No
love this comment LMAOO !!
Lmao
I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't have sex, I don't eat meat,
I Love God
And people think I'm strange
Maybe it's time I stopped giving a shit about what people think about me
The right people will love me
This!!!
That is so awesome. Those are some really good values. I don't do those things either expect I do eat meat lol
Keep it up bro 💯
I'm surprised to see the positive feedback
Thank you ☺️🙏
Preach
opinions aren't facts
here's a fact: owls sleep in the day
here's a opinion: owls are ugly
Facts right here!😊
nonevent knows that opinions aren't facts
@@jess_3459 other ppl don't
You made my old social studies teacher proud
@@brennamalloy8497 lmao thanks
I honestly admire people who got out alone without friends to shop and stuff its amazing
try to think about it like this: if you see someone alone in a cafe or restaurant or shopping by themselves do you even notice? if you do notice, what do you think of them? do you think they are weird and its kind of awkward, or do you not care and forget about their existence in 5 seconds as you walk past. or maybe like what you said you admire them and think they are cool. if you think neutrally or positively you shouldnt be afraid of doing things alone. its super cool and not a big deal, everyone will forget about your existence in maximum 5 minutes
that's a relief
"It's not my business whatever anyone else thinks of me"
OOOOOOOOFFF That hit me
one tip that helped me!
Okay, If you’re insecure about your outfit at school or in public, think about this. Most people spend way too much time worrying about themselves than other people. So when your feeling insecure about your outfit (etc.), just think that people aren’t really caring or paying attention to what you wear everyday. I used to think everyone was staring at me, but then I realized I was the only one staring at myself.
P.S., I don’t even remember or think about what the other people in public are wearing, so they’re probably not thinking about your outfit!
(Another edit: I’m using outfits as an example, it could be anything :))
Can I ask you something else
Ummm..so u know I talk with sacrarsm when i m with my parents and yeah I get scolded a lot too and that's how I am but..when I'm in public I become super shy..like tooo much
I'm like a 🐅 in home and mouse 🐁outside
@@drastaaa7241 thats fine ! be yourself. but pls prevent from being scolded, you can change up your personality, but still be yourself
expect in hs bc ppl are useless
when my school makes us wear uniforms: 👁️👄👁️
@@sophiele1629 LMAO
"I've had to accept that - that everyone cannot love me. Because when there's love, there's hate. When there's light, there's dark. But it was really hard to accept as an artist that there's a lot of people that hate me, but on the other side, there are many more people who love me. I think everyone goes through that."
- Kim Namjoon
"Your presence can give happiness. I hope you remember that."
- Kim Seokjin
he's such an inspiration
harry styles said the second one
@@ashlynnexum well then,two amazing people said the same thing💜❤️
@@taeversitie ❤️❤️❤️
Could you provide the source? I don't remember him saying these.
my mind feels so refreshed and happy. So glad I watched this, I have gained more confidence.
same omg
"You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn't know you" ~Taylor Swift
@Amelia Arms oms swiftie toooo
@Amelia Arms i do care! imma sub
Yesss we Stan
“If you’re taking this personal it’s because it is” FIRST OF ALL ur right
I literally read this comment as soon as she said it I’m scared
“What other people think about you isn’t about you. It’s about them.”
I remember seeing this and it really made me feel better.
“It’s not my business what anyone else thinks of me” that line was so freeing. It hit me and now I have to repeat that over and over until I fully absorb it. Thank you.
0:09
Her: "Get super close to the screen, do you see yourself?"
Me looking at my matte screen: 👁👄👁
same
omggg i was about to comment that plsssss
Same :))
same lol
wait how do u get a matte screen?!
“we’re laying on our stomachs” YES WE ARE QUEEN this is truly a sleepover
Coming from the oldest child I feel like this is a big sister that I would want, honestly love the vibe
same!!
"life is just a lot more fun, when you live for you and only you" ... new beginnings ;
i really feel like i tapped into a new chapter. i;m ready. thank you. i have the keys.
It makes me feel so ✨comfortable✨ and ✨safe✨ that you are just laying on your bed and talking about life advice♥️
"No one is born ugly , we just live in a judgemental society. "
:- RM ,BTS
Ugh bless ur soul. RM is a lyrical genius and we live for it.
Ayyyyyyy. Armys are all over the place. I'm one of them. 💜💜💜💜💜
Also, RM is my bias. 😍❤
@@Bgarcia-1097 uwu mine too ^ ^
he's literally the sweetest angel who deserves the world
ARMY💜
Yes
2021 is our glowup year girls !!! Chins up bitches!!
😂
💕Manifest ittt ✨PeRiOdT.✨💅😎
well i hope so
YAS QUEEN
UwU
Doesn’t matter what others think about you because they never lived your life. Felt your pain or your struggle. The only one person’s opinion that matters about you is your own not the outside world.
THIS YESS 👏👏
🎉
💯💯
💯
Popular opinion: She’s Hot. @kiddpinkk
unpopular opinion: i think i am not aha
Midnight MoonProductions you’re amazingly beautiful 🥺🤍
anqel edits. ty aha !
anqel edits. Aw wow. You r too
right-
Tip:
Even if you have 0 confidence, 0 self love, and the lowest self esteem, all you have to do is ‘fake it till you make it’. Take care of yourself, treat yourself well and stop listening to all the negative stuff going on in your head and literally change your perspective.
First, the ‘spotlight effect’:
The spotlight effect is the belief that all attention is on you in public, when really that’s only in your head. In reality, nobody cares. Everyone else is too busy with their own lives and they’re all focused on themselves, and they could even be worrying if everyone else is judging them too, just like you are. So stop being so self conscious because even if someone acknowledges you (if something embarrassing happens) then they will literally forget about it in a few seconds. PEOPLE. DONT. CARE.
So, whenever you’re in public, look confident so that you’re not the one getting intimidated by others, but THEY’RE getting intimidated by YOU. Shoulders back, stand up straight and tall, and if needed, make eye contact with people if they’re doing it to you. DO NOT be afraid of eyes.
Anyway, you need to change your mindset and KNOW your worth so that other people see it too, and trust me, you will be ever so respected.
Love you, and I hope whoever is reading this has a blessed day ❤️
omg this
this gave me confidence thank you omfguiijkdmkhiosjkl
Thank you 🙃
THANK U for the spotlight effect
Lol I’ve been using the “spot light affect” when I feel like everyone is looking at me then I get paranoid. That they still looking, but they’re still looking. Or it’s all my head
But no they’re looking. I always catch people staring at me like when I was in school I caught 5 or 6 people looking at me. I mean idk lol it’s weird 🙃🙅🏽♂️
And it happens almost everyday 😣
I feel like whether or not I care about an opinion is largely variable. Like I REALLY care if someone thinks I'm dumb or unlikeable, so I try to avoid anything that would lead to those judgments, but I give ZERO (jk negative ten) sh*ts if someone could perceive my choices as weird...like if I chose not to drink (i drink but i couldnt think of a better example lol). It's like the stuff that's harder to change are the things that I find myself worrying about. Anyone else feel this way?
Yeah right?! the perceivedrepresentation outweighs my decision making on smaller thing!! also this feeling sometimes it gets better and sometimes it gets worse.
i completely get you!! i feel the same way, it just varies a ton. i feel like it’s so much easier to logically be like “these are the reasons i shouldn’t care” rather than not caring. it even depends on the person? like if someone i don’t know thinks something it might affect me more/less than if it’s a friend depending on who it is.
First of all I literally love ur videos and I had no idea you watched Nichole to! And yes I feel that way all the time. I don't want to seem stupid or weak to others and it really bothers me even tho I know it shouldn't.
This video has actually helped me so much. I listen to it at work with my headphones on to remind myself no one cares and I shouldn’t either. I think about it all the time when I’m anxious and out in public.
i sat in the shower balling my eyes out to the point where i couldn’t breathe and i went to youtube to get my mind off of stuff and this popped up in recommended (totally not weird) but watching this made me feel a lot better so from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU💘💘💘
you can get through whatever is in your way, keep going :)
I'm only 5 minutes in and she is just speaking facts. During quarantine, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and care for myself. I've been complimenting myself even for simple stuff like whenever I can make my family members happy, or even complimenting myself when I think I look good on certain days. Positive thoughts can help you find confidence in yourself. It took me quarantine to realize how much I truly love myself. I deserve good things because I am a good person, always doing my best and being kind and patient with others. I help people when they have problems, and have for a long time. But for a while I stopped caring about myself, and thought my only purpose was to be there for others and that I was meant to think terrible stuff about myself and hate myself. I saw someone who wasn't good enough, that wanted to fit in and was on the outside. I took so much time caring what other people thought of me, which left me miserable and feeling like everyone judged me. One of my biggest insecurities for about two years is that I picked my pimples and left scars. I picked mainly because of stress and satisfaction for just a second. But the guilt of it followed me, and it was an endless cycle of picking from the stress of what I did before mixed in with the other crazy stuff happening in my life that I'm not going to mention. But when I truly stopped and looked at the moments in my life that I was at my best, I saw a great person in me. One time I heard a saying that said, "If other people don't know you personally, don't take what they say personal." This is a great saying, and you should tell yourself that. Tell yourself that you matter, and you are amazing, and if other people don't like you, why does it matter? If someone says something mean to you, about your personality or appearance or whatever it may be, is it truly going to matter? I've been boosting my self esteem so much during this time alone, and when I hung out with my friends for the first time in a while, I showed them the true me. I also recently told myself that I am sick of the pain I feel when I pick my face, so I am going to break my habit. I have been on a streak for about a week now, and my skin is way clearer and not as scabby. I know this is one thing I will have to accomplish to truly satisfy myself, and I won't stop trying. I'll try to not let little things get to me, because I don't deserve to feel stressed. I deserve my own self-respect. Don't let anyone break your stride. You freaking rule!!!!
Thank u for this really. it gave me sm motivation and inspo
Damn I really needed this, thank you.
I love you
I love this comment :)
and wow, I don't know if you believe in manifestation/law of attraction, but you're doing yourself the best service one could do for themselves. by complimenting yourself, helping other people, just putting ANY sort of positivity out there (to yourself or others)-- it is universal 👏law👏 that it comes back to you. nothing is coincidental in this universe. you receive exactly what you give.
like when you feel annoyed and everything else becomes annoying .. you not only notice more annoying things but you also attract more annoying things to you. same thing with positivity (aka love- the highest frequency). it comes back in your life in ways you probably don't connect with the initial energy you put out, but everything is a correlation to your thoughts and actions. people don't know the power of putting out that energy- it literally shapes your life/world, and apparently it only takes 51% of positive thoughts over negative to tip the scales.
k there's my rant I just finished a book ab this and you are talking about exactly what they said to do and i'm just so happy for you ~~
You should write a book!!!
I was literally having my 362849th existential crisis this year and stressing about college and life and society’s pressure - I am literally so glad that I found your channel and this community because it’s weirdly calming to know that I’m not completely alone with these thoughts.. so basically just: thank you!!
I love u💗
damn thats exactly what ive been stressing about lately too...you’re definitely not alone and you’re doing great! keep on fighting against these dumb expectations and im sure you’ll do great things in life
I'm literally 17 right now, and you really slap my face. last year was a total nightmare to me, some experiences I'm still healing from but seeing you, couple years older than me and be done with other people judgments make me believe I can do the same. I will work on my confidence and take more care of myself. thank you for slap gorgeous ☃️
the fact that so many people are watching this says something about society lmao
the thing is though.. the people watching these are the society, including me and you.
@@redr0ses110 so now the next question is, how do we change the society that we are all so fed up with?
@@eimearh721 I came to the conclusion recently that you can never really change other people, we can only change ourselves and because society= all people in the world, trying to change society is just a waste of your time and energy. I personally think that the only way to change society is to change ourselves and kinda "lead by example"...
Guys please remember that there’s a difference between not caring what other people think and not caring about other people’s feelings❤️
me looking at my reflection in the beginning like 👁👄👁
I looked like :| ))
You have no idea how freakin much this helped me. During my junior and senior year of high school I was so good at just not caring but once quarantine hit and I stopped being social I picked these habits back up and it’s been so rough. I don’t want to feel this way though and I’m trying to work my way back out in small ways, like looking in a mirror and saying I look nice today, singing, dancing, doing things I enjoy. It’s so liberating and I think I’m on the right track to feeling happy in my own body and self again.
5:46 Do you realize how fast you shifted my perspective saying, "It's not my business what anyone else thinks of me" You seriously just mind blew me and I seriously respect you for that. The first glimpse of self love is starting to mentally and emotionally fill inside of me.
Literally read this right as she was saying it! Lol
I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO COMMENT THIS
What a cozy video! Made me feel so good watching :)
Love your channel Mina!
omg mina! i wasn’t expecting to see you here 🥺
“Life is just more fun when you live for you and only you” wow that hit me hard....
i've come back to this video 10 different times since its been posted and i never was able to actually grasp the advice until this time, i'm so proud of myself because i'm finally letting myself grow for myself instead of for other people, so i guess what i'm trying to say is.. thank you for this video even though it took 10 times for my brain to grasp the concept, thank you.
you give me such jade from victorious vibes and I'm so here for it
OMG YEAH
the mean girl friend is sooooo true !! I’ve exclusively had a slue of mean girl friends my whole life until just before college and then I kinda just flipped the switch and stopped caring and realize I’m,,,allowed to do what I want?? I’m glad someone put that into words !!!
*iT FEELS LIKE WE'RE BESTFRIENDS OMG*
This video made my confidence go skyrocket high tbh like my whole life was just evolving around people's approval and thank you so much 💘
It would be really cool to see you talking about friendship (how to make friends, keep friends and find ones that actually have your back etc) in a video like this!
the one dislike is making me uncomfortable especially because this is about mental health :(
their opinion does not matter 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻
@@rinmoon5080 not one bit 😽
Now it’s 3 dislikes smh
@@kat06090 some people have no respect 😔
lea vasquez Now we shall all laugh at those dislikes 😌
the fact that this was recommended for me.. i needed that
I am 46. Been married and divorced and I have allowed other people’s opinions rule my life since I was about 12 yrs old! Honestly, I’m DONE with that sh*t! I am better than that! Trying to LEARN how to not allow others opinions about me, affect me is not easy! AND 2021 is the year that I will FINALLY let go of everyone’s opinions. How to do that? I am still unclear. Starting the journey though is the first step! 💞🥰
how's your journey going Amy?
Periodt, preach sis!
as you should!
yeesss! periiiooodtt.
amy ur so powerful. hoping all the best for u
it’s just hard when the person who’s opinion matters the most to you is your own mother. and she judges you, so much.
Right!! This is me. I don't care how friends or acquaintances think of me, but my family really gets to me and I'm so afraid to be myself
yeah, I could literally give less of a shit about someone's opinion unless it comes from someone who's extremely close to me. close family, close friends, s/o, etc
@@mellobii You shouldn’t care about any bodies opinion, but YOUR OWN!
Same to me (kinda)
This actually why I searched for this! Don't get me wrong my mom loves me and i know it, it's just that i like wanna impress her probably ever since I got conscious of my value and like how i realized recently that out of my 15 years of living it's the first time I heard someone say "appreciate" because of what I did for them and that's not even "i appreciate your existence" and it was from an online friend because of online schooling
And i also wanted to impress her since the time she posted on Facebook that she was proud of my brother and tbh i do get it since he does put more effort on certain things, so now I have the feeling of the need to impress her and i want to get rid of that feeling and just start living for myself and get that heavy feeling of my back
That's why I cut my mum off
*“I like myself and i like me, and no one can really take that away from me”* Period gurl.
i feel like we vibrate at -almost- the same level when it comes to confidence and i'm SO HERE FOR IT.