You are absolutely my favorite relationship coach on RUclips I do not listen to anybody else I'm just not the type of person to watch videos like this except for your videos I just love you I love how truly genuine you are and you have that vibe that shows you really care about teaching couples how to have a better relationship
My relationship just ended because of this. I was the one that wanted to communicate and find the solutions in the relationship all the time, and my ex boyfriend did not wanted to modified his behavior so I left him , it is sad because someone can have a lot of potential but if that someone does not have good communication skills there is no future in the relationship. 😞
You're absolutely right Yani. Communication is absolutely key and a must for a healthy dynamic. I wish you the best in finding someone who will match what you put out.
Thanks Kristin, I wish I have learned about this a few years ago. I think I did this to my partner and that is costing us our relationship. Because of this he had an emotional affair with someone and impregnated her. Our relationship of 15 years is now coming to an end. I guess I need to learn to express myself, I know I'm bad when it comes to that.
Hi Kristin! This was another great video that I identify myself with because I'm the emotional distancer in my relationship. I have a very hard time opening up to my partner especially if it has something to do with him since he's not the most empathetic with his responses and sees me as an emotional person who often has a complaint. I want to be more authentic with how I feel when my partner asks me what's wrong but how do I tell my partner that I find it hard to open up when I don't see him as very empathetic?
Yes, a lot of people struggle with this exact situation. I think you just have to tell him exactly what you need. For ex: "I need you to just listen to me and tell me you understand where I'm coming from" or "I need you to hear me and be supportive". Or give examples of how you want him to respond would be a good start. Instead of focusing what you don't want him to do, it's good to focus on what he can do in terms of behaviors you want to see from him.
@@KristinCoaching thanks for your advice although I'm not sure if the advice is clear to me because before I even have a conversation with my partner I want to tell him that I have a hard time saying how I feel since he's not always very empathetic and that's what I was wondering how to tell him so for ex can I say, I have a hard time saying how I feel when you ask me what's wrong because I don't usually feel understood and supported?
Yes, I think that's totally fine to be genuine and say that, and then you can follow that up with a solution of what he can do to show you that you feel supported and understood
Thanks Kristin, your video is very helpful to me,. Especially the emotional affair and emotional distances. I am experiencing both of these in my marriage right now and my wife want nothing to do with me. Do you have any suggestion.
I think the focus needs to be reconnection. Spending quality time together, both at home and outside of the home. Go on dates, have fun, remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. Come up with as many ideas as you can that will focus on reconnection. Show her she is appreciated and loved. It's all about showing effort and then seeing if that makes an impact.
I stopped dating in 2009. I couldn't stand the entitled arrogance of women in Seattle. It's not all bad though. With just my surplus mechanic wages my wealth accumulated and grew. And now I'm a millionaire. Unless something weird happens I shouldn't ever need to work again.
My boyfriend lied to me about how many girls he’s slept with should I be mad? I asked him about a girl in his town if there had been anything and he said “ no “point blank which I found out was a lie they’d slept together everytime I ask him about his number or other girls he always tells me 7 and flips out calling me a psycho and saying he doesn’t lie to me. but today we were talking and he got mad and admitted he’d been with 12 girls not 7 I’m just feeling upset because of the lies and the fact he’s flipped out at me previously cause I’ve asked if 7 was definitely his number and not anyone else when he knows he was lieing to me and making me feel like a idiot for asking! I wanna move on from it but don’t know if I’m being stupid or not we’ve been together 2 years and don’t want it ruined he said he lied because we were moving to his town and he didn’t want any awkwardness between me and him when we went out incase we saw girls he’d been with!!
@@ashleyelcock388 I know you were wanting the poster of the video to comment but seeing that she didn't I feel that you deserve some kind of answer to this. The answer is an astounding yes that you should be upset that he lied to you. What I already pick up on is you don't know your real value as a person and are too needy with your boyfriend. If he lied to you about this then he has told many other lies. You need to reevaluate what your values are and if your boyfriend has the same values as you. I hope this helped.
You are absolutely my favorite relationship coach on RUclips I do not listen to anybody else I'm just not the type of person to watch videos like this except for your videos I just love you I love how truly genuine you are and you have that vibe that shows you really care about teaching couples how to have a better relationship
This was so needed❤
After 16 years together- 2 kids with avoidant and emotional distancer- I am destroyed- depressed- ....
My relationship just ended because of this. I was the one that wanted to communicate and find the solutions in the relationship all the time, and my ex boyfriend did not wanted to modified his behavior so I left him , it is sad because someone can have a lot of potential but if that someone does not have good communication skills there is no future in the relationship. 😞
You're absolutely right Yani. Communication is absolutely key and a must for a healthy dynamic. I wish you the best in finding someone who will match what you put out.
Kristin Coaching thank you 🙏❤️
Incongruence. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love your vocabulary. Ok. I’ll listen to the main focus now. Lol. 😘
Aww, thank you so much!! You're so sweet and I hope you find this video helpful :)
Thanks Kristin, I wish I have learned about this a few years ago. I think I did this to my partner and that is costing us our relationship. Because of this he had an emotional affair with someone and impregnated her. Our relationship of 15 years is now coming to an end. I guess I need to learn to express myself, I know I'm bad when it comes to that.
Hi Kristin! This was another great video that I identify myself with because I'm the emotional distancer in my relationship. I have a very hard time opening up to my partner especially if it has something to do with him since he's not the most empathetic with his responses and sees me as an emotional person who often has a complaint. I want to be more authentic with how I feel when my partner asks me what's wrong but how do I tell my partner that I find it hard to open up when I don't see him as very empathetic?
Yes, a lot of people struggle with this exact situation. I think you just have to tell him exactly what you need. For ex: "I need you to just listen to me and tell me you understand where I'm coming from" or "I need you to hear me and be supportive". Or give examples of how you want him to respond would be a good start. Instead of focusing what you don't want him to do, it's good to focus on what he can do in terms of behaviors you want to see from him.
@@KristinCoaching thanks for your advice although I'm not sure if the advice is clear to me because before I even have a conversation with my partner I want to tell him that I have a hard time saying how I feel since he's not always very empathetic and that's what I was wondering how to tell him so for ex can I say, I have a hard time saying how I feel when you ask me what's wrong because I don't usually feel understood and supported?
Yes, I think that's totally fine to be genuine and say that, and then you can follow that up with a solution of what he can do to show you that you feel supported and understood
Okay but how do I express how I'm feeling 😭 I don't know I've never understood that...
Thanks Kristin, your video is very helpful to me,. Especially the emotional affair and emotional distances. I am experiencing both of these in my marriage right now and my wife want nothing to do with me. Do you have any suggestion.
I think the focus needs to be reconnection. Spending quality time together, both at home and outside of the home. Go on dates, have fun, remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. Come up with as many ideas as you can that will focus on reconnection. Show her she is appreciated and loved. It's all about showing effort and then seeing if that makes an impact.
I stopped dating in 2009. I couldn't stand the entitled arrogance of women in Seattle.
It's not all bad though. With just my surplus mechanic wages my wealth accumulated and grew. And now I'm a millionaire. Unless something weird happens I shouldn't ever need to work again.
What happens when your partner is stonewalling you its been for 3 days now.
My boyfriend lied to me about how many girls he’s slept with should I be mad? I asked him about a girl in his town if there had been anything and he said “ no “point blank which I found out was a lie they’d slept together everytime I ask him about his number or other girls he always tells me 7 and flips out calling me a psycho and saying he doesn’t lie to me. but today we were talking and he got mad and admitted he’d been with 12 girls not 7 I’m just feeling upset because of the lies and the fact he’s flipped out at me previously cause I’ve asked if 7 was definitely his number and not anyone else when he knows he was lieing to me and making me feel like a idiot for asking! I wanna move on from it but don’t know if I’m being stupid or not we’ve been together 2 years and don’t want it ruined he said he lied because we were moving to his town and he didn’t want any awkwardness between me and him when we went out incase we saw girls he’d been with!!
Should I be mad and upset like I am?? Xx
@@ashleyelcock388 I know you were wanting the poster of the video to comment but seeing that she didn't I feel that you deserve some kind of answer to this. The answer is an astounding yes that you should be upset that he lied to you. What I already pick up on is you don't know your real value as a person and are too needy with your boyfriend. If he lied to you about this then he has told many other lies. You need to reevaluate what your values are and if your boyfriend has the same values as you. I hope this helped.
@@blessed7fold Amen.
@@ashleyelcock388 Pull back. Don't be so consumed by a man. Be not codependent. Seek a good church group for youth.
Too late