Five CRUCIAL PHASES OF HEALING Complex PTSD
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
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If you’re not making any progress healing from the effects of a traumatic childhood, it’s very likely everything you were told about how to do it… is WRONG. In this video I teach the five phases of healing that take you from suffering to fulfillment.. and freedom.
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I knew when i saw a video from you the first time that it will change my life and IT HAS! 😍 Im forever grateful! I didn't realize my depression and anxiety comes from past trauma that has been triggered, i just thought that it's genetics (+seasonal) that causes me to be forever depressed. I had such a revelation that i feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel like i was trying to push anxiety and depression away every time that i got triggered, until i realized that i need to feel them! My depression got so severe and anxiety got through the roof, that motivated me to say to myself that i can't continue like this and i need to get to the root of it, then your video popped on to my feed about c-ptsd and everything just made sense! Im now focusing on re-training my brain every time i notice im getting anxious by breathing and telling myself it's just the trauma that's been triggered, im not dying or having a heart attack and it's going to pass if i just relax and let myself feel those feelings. Im also thinking about writing about my traumas for myself so i can understand what my triggers are and heal just from processing it. Im so happy i found your channel, this literally saved my life! ❤️
Oh and i have had a myriad of depression medication prescribed to me and nothing seemed to work, i thought im somehow so depressed or something is wrong because those didn't help me, i actually feel like they slowed my healing *so much* because it made me numb so that i didn't have to go through the feelings and i never got to the root of it.
@Meg Cassin It feels so relieving to know finally why am i like this! Im just wondering what to do now. Cbt therapy costs too much for me because im unable to work, and even if i was able, it's still super expensive. Do you have a plan on how to get over the traumas?
@@lamppuu1 so happy for you that you found Anna and this community of people who want to get well. check out ross Rosenberg too
I do that too. I pace up and down at work saying, "This is a panic attack, not a heart attack." It works.
I hate the myth that depression "just happens" or is a "chemical imbalance". Depression is always the result of something experienced and your reaction to it.
In somatic expirencing I had to feel both my depression and anxiety for it to be healed and processed. My depression no longer appears when I’m in quiet moments because the trauma has been permantedly processed.
Phases:
1. Realize what trauma is doing to you.
2. Understand dysregulation as primary driver of symptoms, learn to re-regulate.
3. Learn to connect with other people.
4. Facing your self-defeating behaviors.
5. Shed limited ideas of self and discover the real you.
My ADHD brain thanks you!
@@tejraju Mine, too!😊
Thank you!
Ditto : )
Someone else's comment after mine prompted a notification which brought me back to this video. I really needed to hear it again today. Thank you
I am in tears. This is the weekend that I have, after 40 years, finally come to terms with the fact I have Childhood PTSD. I have been researching and looking for healing. Finally I find Anna who understands and can help. I see hope and a plan of action.
How are you right now? I hope u got better
Me, too, but mine are tears of gratitude. Actually we are totally entitled to all our tears now that we know....and always were entitled to them. We were crossed. There is such good help for us now.
Same boat here. 40 years and finally awakened to what really happened that I diminished all these years despite many other modalities trying to heal…
Your not the only one. Just be happy you didn't live the rest of your life without knowing. :)
Same here , 41. I've cried in resentment and anger that it has taken this long to get here, resentment that I haven't had a family of my own due to baaaaad choices in partners, which moved to tears of releasing all that, then to tears of gratitude. Anna is great and explains things so clearly. Her videos have also recently helped explain things to my family. Onwards and upwards, we're being given this gift of a chance to create a positive and happy life and it's not too late!
When I'm triggered. I can't think rationally. It's fight, flight, or freeze. Most often, flight. This resonated so much. I've felt lonely for as long as I can remember. I don't know how to have a healthy connection. Self isolation seems to be the only way I can have peace. Since childhood, I've had a problem with food, and struggled with my weight. I tend to be attracted to narcissistic people, get taken advantage of, or I self sabotage. Lately, I tend to push people away.
I do feel hopeless...
Word for word, I feel and go through the exact same. I've spent the last week with my phone off alone in my room to find peace.
The fact that you are so aware is AWESOME. You may FEEL hopeless, but your time for healing is coming. Don't give up - fight for a better future for yourself!!
you sound very self-aware of your problems. this is a good things! I'm you will get better in time!
Don't give up Skye. You are a beautiful person!
Omg omg omg I can relate 1000000%
Traditional talk therapy always left me feeling doomed to this eternal wound, for many years. I tried again a few years ago, but with a somatic therapist/coach and it has been life altering. She has helped me pull my body out of auto pilot and now I'm figuring out who the heck I really am at 43. She is a fan of your work and suggested your channel to me. Spot on, because I resonate with your content.
Are you willing to recommend her? Now everything is on zoom I'm looking for a good somatic therapist. Wonderful to find this channel
Agreed!!!
@Angel A also following this thread
Her name is Emma Chiriac, and the name of her practice is Compassion In Motion. You can also find her on Psychology Today.
Exactly
I never felt like I fit in anywhere, now I understand why 💛
Glad you found this channel :)
All my life I thought I was broken, but a quiet and assertive voice inside me has always insisted that I have so much potential. This year I finally connected the word “trigger” to what I feel. I stumbled on this channel and realised I can confidently self diagnose with CPTSD. But watching this video (almost bursting into tears every two seconds!) made me also realise that I am fixable. I never thought I could be fixable.
Thank you, merry Christmas 💖
All her videos make me cry. It's like 41 years of not having a description of what I knew what wrong with me.
I feel you. This is me now.
@@julieryan8179 I’m pleased to say I’ve made a lot of progress since I made that comment. You can, too. You got this, don’t give up x
That is awesome to read!
I have gone through that and not being able to figure out what is wrong with you is so upsetting
Where have you been all my life? God bless you.
Hello how are you doing today 💖
I said the same thing when I found this, we probably all did.
For the first time in my life i feel like someone can completely understand me.
When I was 16 I started smoking. My parents didnt knew about it, until one day after school when they for reasons I cant remember picked me up from school. (They littarly never picked me up, so I thought smoking one after school was safe....) As I stepped in the car my dad (who used to smoke himself) got furious and my mom asked calmly why I started smoking. I told them I had alot of stress and their reaction to that is one I'll never forget.... "How can YOU be stressed out" they yelled. From that moment I kinda felt strange.... Cause I had the whole world against me from my point of view (teachers even made comments on my appearance. Bullied by fellow students... And just a family that didnt care...) But I 'wasnt allowed to be stressed over this' somehow.... After that I really became hollow... Not showing any emotion, like it was drained out of me... Now, 11 years later, ive been in therapy for 3 years, ive never done meds cause I didnt want to. I kept learning about mental illnesses and what people did to be able to deal with it better... I can say that I have changed alot, well more like 'became my old self again' but I still feel guilty for some things that I shouldnt feel guilty for. My life is a little better then before, but I still have a long way to go.
As a teenager very alone in the world with a violent, abusive, narcissist mother, who was beating me unconscious & undermining me in many ways, I got very depressed. One day my mother started screaming at me,:-"Whats wrong with you? Why do you look like that? Whats wrong with you." I didn't reply at first because I knew that whatever I said was not going to go down well. My mother kept screaming questions at me more & more violently till I had to answer or I was going to get beaten up. So I said:- "Maybe I am depressed." My mother totally freaked out at me, screaming, :- "What have you got to be depressed about, you do not even know you are born?" It is like these people cannot see their own behaviour or hear their own words or realise they have an affect. They are so blind.
@@sarahstrong7174 Thats true. They really are blind. I guess you've had the whole package, mental and physical abuse. But, usually they have trauma's themselves (doesnt mean what they did isnt wrong) and handle out of those. I kinda relate to that too, years back nobody was allowed to have issues, only me. Those trauma's really drag you down and make you a very toxic person. I noticed my behaviour myself and really said to myself "I don't want this" and that's the moment I went into therapy. I hope you have good professional help to help you deal with this, just because not everyone will notice they are actually just walking their abusers path. (Becoming the abusers themselves)
@@SStephii Fortunately I knew by the age of ten that I most absolutely did not want to be like my parents & that I most absolutely did not want to treat any one like I had been treated, because I could see that it was most absolutely wrong & cruel. I wanted no part of that ugly behaviour & I wanted no part of their way of being & I saw their blindness & did not want that blindness either & very early in my adult life, instituted checking processes to maintain awareness, most particularly to observe whether I was projecting anything onto others, to ensure I took responsibility for my own behaviour. I know I am not perfect, I am no saint, I can be selfish & irritable & impatient at times but I do my best to be rational, engage in reasoning & to be considerate & understanding towards others & their situations, feelings & issues. If anything I have over-compensated & unfortunately this has made me vulnerable at times.
I attempted to tell a VA intern that I didn't like taking medication because I didn't grow. I talked like that for almost the whole hour, while she wrote away.
I thought I was breaking through to her. At the end of the session, she handed me two prescriptions for medication.
That's the VA way. Throw medication at any problem.
Wow. That would be hard to stomach. There's another way...
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through the VA way. I understand because I have friends that have cptsd and they've got no help from the VA. The crappy childhood fairy is the best teaching that I have had so far and I have been living with cptsd for 60 years!😢
Unless it costs too much and you really need it
Oh my gosh, I had a therapist once tell me I wasn't "connectable". Basically just told me it was hard to feel a connection with me, couldn't tell me why or how to fix it when I was trying to figure out how to form new relationships. It made me feel worse about myself than I already did.
Sadly many therapists are also narcissists. And it sounds like maybe that one was, because that is inexcusable to say to any human being, but especially to one that has already been traumatized and is there seeking help.
Always so informative and helpful ❤
How rude! And all it says is that THAT person had trouble connecting to YOU. And that's not YOUR responsibility. Sometimes people just don't click, and that's ok, but you don't tell and BLAME the person for it! Especially when you're supposed to be HELPING that person.
That's some fairly irresponsible care element to thier job requirements. Pretty sure they have an oath to help people, not hurt them more. Hope you walked away..
Jeez! How rude! I’m so sorry they said that to you.
I sobbed my eyes out the whole way through this video. Thank you so much. You made me feel normal and like I might not truly just be an awful person after all. All my life I've struggled with isolation, an inability to be myself and form connections, among many other things. I've always come to the conclusion this is just who I am and I need to suppress my emotions, my interests, my thoughts, opinions, EVERYTHING about me to please the people around me and to be tolerated.
thank you.
Sounds like good cleansing tears!
I so resonate with this brave and honest comment. Go well On your journey of healing
Sending you love. This comes from a fellow CPTSD victim.
I've spent decades in and out of therapy. But only turned a corner after breaking down when another relationship ended (mostly because of my issues). I came across this wonderful channel. It literally changed my way of thinking..... It's hard work, but it's constructive. No more talking, talking, analysing,..... It's actions needed.
❤ Relatable
Ironically your comment here is so relatable and well written. I feel you in the “being tolerated” part. In my case I feel like I’m being gaslighted from the past from years of side comments from my parents so that I am constantly second guessing my actions and emotions around other people. I’ve had many friends and family say I’m so good at ~*fill in the blank interpersonal concept*~ and if my own mother got wind of it she would say... “Caitlin? Are you sure we are talking about the same person?” Just awful and invalidating and messes with your head. I still wonder if people actually like me or are just tolerating me to be polite. Uhhhg.
Now seeing the emotional and psychological abuse for what it is, I’m untangling a web of hurts to dig down and find out who I am and how I can/should act as an autonomous and valuable human being.
Hugs to you and thank you for sharing!
Folks, don't miss the most obvious source of healing you can find on planet earth, the information shared by Anna is helping so many, many people. She shares from experience, not just from theory learned. Everything she is sharing is hitting the target, SHE GETS IT. Do you understand how important that is to us? The most OBVIOUS illustration of healing CTPTSD is talking to us. Look at her shine, oh my goodness. I know that is ME on the inside screaming to come out I have been shaking the bars for decades. Look at her! THIS Crappy Childhood Fairy is trying to heal us from a healed soul, you can see and hear her passion and 'the honesty' about the methods that work and don't work are solid gold for all of us. We can do this, she is living her dream now unshackled by something she cannot see or understand. If you cannot do anything else, just watch healing personified. She demonstrates it each and every time. See, you can be yourself and it is ok. The world needs us, they need our gifts, passions and talents; I can not and will not allow this to stop me from living a very happy and fulfilling life. I have come a long way from a little boy hiding from his dad in a closet. He could not find me in there for some reason, it was the only place I had control of when I got my beatings. I now realize and understand that the little boy made a conclusion that he would never, ever be happy in life. I have lived out that conclusion thinking it was normal. I had no idea, but I knew there was something and all the decades of searching have landed me here. FINALLY, finally, there is a Fairy who knows and understands. I am coming out folks, I will make my mark and some of you will hear about it. Maybe Anna should stop identifying as a Crappy Fairy. I love it! See folks, see what you can be? Can we not change this world one person at a time, together? We can all be Crappy Childhood Fairies in our own unique way. I still have some life left, time to zig and zag to get it all in. NOTHING, gets left on the table of life, nothing. I am almost dead from trying, I will have my life now Dad, thank you very much. I have done all the work, it has been a grueling process, but I have done the work. When doing that work I discovered something, I am still the same boy inside and no matter what has been done to me I was able to keep who I really am in tact. You would NEVER guess where I discovered that but it was so blatant it could not be denied. If you don't believe in God, you might miss a moment in time that He uses 50 years later to show you that very thing. I am still me, none of my abusers were able to change me. It is just the very first time I have actually come out to play. Thank you Anna for doing the hard work yourself, I don't know if I would be here without you. Maybe that will give you comfort knowing the pain and hard work you did was all worth it to be here now, engaged in the present. It is the only place we have control of our lives.
I can see you've had the epiphany. I'm so happy for you. And thanks for encouraging everyone, and saying all those nice things about me.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy You save lives Anna. Does the crying eventually fade away? I will get some coaching on this, 66 years is a lot to overcome. My problem is I can now see ALL of the lost potential. What is pushing me forward Anna, is the potential I now refuse to leave on the table when this is all said and done. This might get interesting when a silent 66 year old man begins to open his mouth in earnest for the first time. 🙂 I can see it has already begun. Keep on keeping on Anna, wow are you making a difference.
Im so sad today. Been doing shadow work, and found you. My mother trying to burn down our family home while we were sleeping. ( my Dad worked nights ) I blocked this memory for 56 years, I just turned 60. I so want to be better. Dis regulation is a daily occurance. But now that I know what it is, Wow. All of this is so overwhelming. I do however see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I should join your group. Or, am I too far gone at my age. I so want to quit hurting, being triggered by the slightest things. I am isolated in the jungle, finding it hard to leave. First time living alone EVER.
I believe it's never too late, no matter the age.
@@adamkorekach9936 Thank you, I am doing spectacular now, knowledge is so valuable. I also am reading The Power of NOW, Tolle. I can only be grateful I found all this amazing insite on utube. Appreciative Again, in the jungle.
Love to you Kelly. Never too late!! All the very best and lots of luck to you.
You are making good progress. It gets better!!!
Popping out! Yeah I remember the first time that happened! An employer pointed out something wrong I did and I went into a deep shame flashback. I was feeling so low, I just got into the shower. I was in the shower spirally down and I suddenly saw what was happening and was able to bring myself back. It was a turning point :)
Finding out who I really am has been crucial to my healing. My dysregulated brain told me I was the fragmented memories and flashbacks trapped in my limbic system. I am learning to be aware of the actual feelings and sensations in my physical body when I have overwhelming emotions during dysregulated episodes. Fairy's videos and mindful meditation have been immensely healing. Thanks Anna!
Glad it helps!
"Knowing something is not the same as having a solution" Thankyou! My mother tells me that I'm stupid because I never seem to learn from my mistakes. My father tells me that I've made a lot of bad decisions. For years, I agreed with them.
Difficulty with learning from mistakes is a huge sign of trauma, it is yet another thing it is possible to heal from :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow, this is a good video. I have a deep sense of not belonging anywhere.
Another aspect of stage 3 (connection) is learning to discern _who_ to connect with. Before I started healing, I was drawn to toxic people, because frankly I was toxic. Then I started healing and I was drawn to people I ended up feeling ambivalent towards: people too stuck in their own trauma to have a truly reciprocal conversation, or people who are just immature and gossipy. Those healthy people, I’m just now starting to be able to connect with them.
I feel like these can all be worked on simultaneously, I’m still learning about trauma, and learning how to connect, but my updated concept of self is already underway.
Bravo!!! Keep it up! 🎉
Summary of video:
7:50 First phase: Understand you’re you
7:56 Second phase: Identify disregulation, learn to re-regulate
10:40 Third phase: Connection
11:20 Fourth phase: Face your own self defeating behaviors
12:00 Fifth phase: Shed limited idea of yourself
I am 56 years old and have been struggling with this all my life. It has been a long amd painful process with some lighter periods at times. Last year I almost lost everything in my life thanks to distorted thinking, call it CPTSD, FA or BPD. I have been working on myself so hard since last december and only now am I beginning to see the light, thanks to my excellent therapist, patient husband and you, Anna. I feel I finally have the means to overcome things. It has been so hard to pinpoint what is wrong and where to start healing, like a slippery soap in my hands. Understanding the theory but not being able to change anything deeply. Dysregulation explains so much in my life, the constant stress and fear of living and making hasty decisions. And now I understand the importance of journaling and meditation. I will make the rest of my decades the best of my decades, looking forward to my life as it unfolds from now on. Thank you!
Glad you found our community!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@lukaluka9843 I am so sorry to hear about your situation but I am sure there is hope and as you are so very young, the life is only just beginning for you. Nothing is lost, you have everything waiting for you. It is often really hard particularly at your age but as you are now already realizing your own situation, you are in the right path. It takes time and courage. I think you meant to ask Anna, not me :) Follow her course and watch these videos, they will help you and sooth you,
Having childhood CPTSD brought on my menstruation at age 9. Jeez, so much of my life was fkd over by CPTSD... At 54 I'm still single... I have healed in lots of ways, and there are some ways that I choose to keep away from relationships. CPTSD changed me, and the deeper the healing, the more self aware I became. It's made me different. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Different, but we can heal :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Omg...you just made a connection for me. I also started my period at 9
Wow! I started getting my period at 10 and I always thought it had to do with my trauma. I’m sorry for your childhood but this helps explain things. Sending love.
Hi I am 56 and still single, realising I have cptsd has helped me the last 3 years, now I know what work to do to heal and sharing with others in the same situation. Wish you well
Same here with period - it all makes sense now
I've been on my journey of healing from cPTSD for about 2 years, but I didn't know what to call it until about 3 weeks ago. I've been learning so much from your channel ever since. Thank you for sharing your experience!
I'm so glad! Welcome!
Had a similar experience just now on this video! I'm so proud of you! And I'm proud of me. 🤙🍻👊
Same! Been on a healing journey for 10 years. I’m sad it took this long to get properly (self) diagnosed. All along just felt broken and bad and wanted to give up. But I’m glad I’m here now.
Hello how are you now?
51 years of age recovering from a massive stroke and just discovered/ remembered/ woke up to the emotional abuse that has occurred. Thank you for your videos
Wishing you the best in your healing journeys & sending love!❤
I was in a mental hospital over 4 decades ago for a year I. was 26yrs old at the time and started to discover childhood healing - just as she describes. I started taking responsibility for myself and learned how to be honest about things and started to believe God was helping me. I started getting short periods of real clarity for the first time in my adult life It was astounding to me. Healing that came from within me - because there was no real help in the hospital. I then left the hospital after a year and went to a live in "Christian community" that said they "loved" me and wanted to "help" me. In six months I lost everything I'd learned about myself. They said I was doing it all wrong. and I became re-traumatized by their belief in God to a point that was worse than I ever was before entering the hospital. I've been stuck ever since and totally confused and sad - very sad. I'm crying as I write this so sorry for any mistakes. You can't heal when God hates you - and you lose all hope because now even God is against you. He loved me at first when i was in the hospital and a year later I was was doomed and on my way to hell.
God doesn’t hate
I'm glad you found some help again. It's never late too heal and have a fulfilling life. In addition to therapy for this I hope you find therapy for christian trauma. You're far from alone in that too. Many of us have our CPTSD compounded by toxic Christianity abuse.
Wow... I didn't realize until this moment how much I've improved. My disregulation episodes could last as long as 3 to 5 days in the past. Solid days of extreme emotions, inability to see reason, often times fixations on potential future conversations (rumination?). Extreme isolation and anxiety... risky behavior and drug use. Dissociation. Episodes would get me into a lot of trouble. I wouldn't care if I lived or died, so all risks seemed acceptable.
Now I recognize that state in about 5 to 10 minutes. Ive been sober for 4 years, so I don't turn to risky behavior anymore. Sometimes it can take 4 to 5 hours to become regulated again, but it happens. And I don't cause irreparable damage in the meantime.
That's a lot of growth I've never recognized in myself until this moment. So right on! This channel is the best 🤙👊❤
"You did not do this to yourself" I been treated like this was my fault by my own family members. I had exes call me crazy and unstable knowing I had ptsd. I went to therapy and it help at 1st, now it doesn't. Al we do is talk and I'm never taught how to heal. I'm glad I stumbled on to your channel. Thank you for telling me what I'm going through is normal. I didn't ask to get abuse, all i can do is get better
I'm so glad you found the channel, we're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
The truth in this video. I feel like I’m at stage 4. Thank you ❤
I had healed and accepted my differences from others in this world, I was happy and adjusted. Then a new and terrible thing happened, which completely eclipsed any negatve childhood experiences. Now I am readjusting to this new trauma-isolation, solitude, disregarding plans or hopes. Survival at its lowest, least interactive form. It's not what I want, but it's the only choice I have.
That's me now . GOD BLESS YOUR RECOVERY IN JESUS CHRIST AMEN ✝️ 🕊.
🤝 4rm 🇮🇪
I’m Surrendering. I’m tired of just coping. I’m ready to change my Brain - my way of thinking. I’ve been listening to your podcasts, Anna, and many times cried after they are over realizing just how damaging the effects of my childhood trauma had on me and still does some days. It’s like it’s got an iron grip and is not willing to let go. It’s time it does let go because I turned 67 this year and before I leave this Earth I’d like to experience real connection - real love with someone. And to do this I need to heal my brain. Heal the trauma brain that lies and deceives me.
I’ve started working my AA 12-Step program again with my original sponsor who helped me so much in the beginning. She and I have so much in common….. childhood trauma. Thank you for bringing healthy content to me and the countless others on this page who are working to heal their lives. 💞
Good for you! Those steps are important to take.
-Cara@TeamFairy
Hi Judi. I’m 61 this year and so hopefully not too late for me to heal. Been a lifelong struggle to connect deeply with another. I wish I could give you a hug. 🥰
Medication only halts and minimizes your symptom output, it doesn't cure your symptoms, issues and symptoms are still there under there the layer of medication. Medication only sweeps your symptoms under the rug, symptoms will stay out of sight as long as you use the medication. I've been in trauma therapy for a year now and it has helped enormously. I'm highly sensitive person. Last october, 2023, I finally got permission to quit my 20 year long medication. I know the skills and coping mechanisms for handling severe complex childhood trauma, yet i have still so much to learn. I have had 15 years of unjustified abusive treatment and torture inside and outside of my household and from the environment/community where i was raised. Started from age 3 to 18 which were the worst years of my life, there were some abusive experiences where i was taken advantage of as a naive young adult also. I've had therapy since age 14 and most likely will have it rest of my life.
Lately after the quitting on my medication, all my pent up drowned emotions have surfaced and my anger & rage levels are the level of God of War / The Incredible Hulk, where i look furious and blood thirsty. I have to constantly focus on controlling and channeling my anger and wrath with exercise so I won't snap on innocent bystanders. I'm constantly hypervigilant and aware of my environment. I must use mindfulness and meditation constantly while repeating calming buddhist mantras. Everyday I gotta exercise from one to two hours so i will feel calmer and relaxed. Channeling anger with exercise and creative arts(music production in my case) is very crucial for healing complex ptsd. Those are healthy outputs for handling anger. I try and do my best to avoid using anger and rage negatively.
Nonetheless i have dreams and hope that i will work as musician/artist some day in future.🙃
What you say about connections is so true ❤ anytime someone nice has tried to befriend me, I push them away or make excuses as to why I can't hang out with them. I would rather do that then them see the real me and discover I'm not good enough. Your videos always make me cry, thank you.
It’s difficult to speak of my child hood life. It did take me down and only cause more triggers and anxiety along with depression. Love this lady and blessed I have found her❤
I have short periods of being okay. Then I plunge into my shitty (minor) depressive periods punctuated by extreme isolation.
I thought I was clinically depressed, then I thought it was Avoidant personality disorder. I know it's CTPSD.
I try to be a positive person.
But I get stuck on resentments and I have too "big a personality." I feel like I'm in a fight or flight stress mode more than I should.
I struggled with addiction into my early 20's. Im 41 now. I have been clean for years but I've been left with an empty feeling. Therapy is just rehashing my crappy childhood, despite truly forgiving my alcoholic parents 15 years ago.
I have just started reviewing your free course. Fear and Resentment! Sounds like Step 4 of AA but I totally get it.
I keep hearing meditation is key.
I'm just rambling but I can identify with everything you say in your videos and what courses I have had a chance to review.
I guess I'm in the Determination stage in the stages of change model.
Anyways, hope this helps someone who needs to read this.
I've been able to re-regulate over the past year or so far more than I ever could before and just being able to stop a panic attack makes me feel like I am a capable human being after all. I am also blessed with colleagues who somehow just get it. They've seen me burst into tears or suffer a panic attack and they know there are days when I just need to avoid interaction and they are incredibly understanding. I used to severely limit connection with colleagues, but now, I can be friends with them. I even join in on the jokes. I thought I couldn't do any real interaction, but people like me and find me funny and clever.
Great progress!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have a wonderful crappy childhood story to tell you, and I’ve been remembering these things that I had forgotten and pushed down, which was how I was brought up. I was also brought up, ignored, invisible, scapegoat, like I don’t exist, and a lot of jealousy from other siblings, which I have disowned. I am 54 and all of my life. This is going on. Nobody nurtured me except my grandmother, but she died when I was eight and when she died, I knew Life was going to change for the worst which I was right. I have lived with alcoholics, became an alcoholic, but was smart enough to stop. For the last 25 or so years I’ve been a part of my siblings who is 62 or rather 63 smear campaign, because she hated it when I was born, and she hates our mother for having me, so she has spent most of her life jealous and I think that’s rather sick. I’ve been in domestic violence situations. I was bullied at school and I still am to this day. If I stick up for myself, everybody gets mad if I don’t stick up for myself, then I’m an easier target. My siblings are 8+ years older than I am. I was very close to my parents. However, trying to get support from my mother is null and void. She shows interest however, it does not last long. She was, and still is a very difficult person and she pushes people to the point where they can’t control themselves but they do. Going up my dad work second shift my mother and I were alone and she really really hurt me and would tell me things my siblings said about me and when answering machines were the big thing, my dad did not know how to use it, and he was talking to my mother and the whole armor session was being recorded and it was about me, after listening to what they had to say I went upstairs crying. When I confronted them, I got in trouble not any feeling bad about what I heard. I’ve always no matter what being kind and nice and became the person that everybody wanted just to make people happy. After keeping a lot inside all of a sudden everything came out and it still continues for years later. And I’m probably talking and telling information nobody wants to hear. I just needed to get some of my feelings out. I do not have a very good support system.
Glad that you have the support system you need!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I don't have any support. No one really cares and gets sick and tired of my triggers.
This video was so validating and healing! All my life I have felt like something was wrong with me. Why I couldn't seem to get completely healed! I have been consistently working on myself for 22 years. I've overcome things that many don't overcome within their lifetime. However, I have always struggled cognitively, as well as with my nervous system, which has caused me to feel stupid, alone, screwed up, and like a failure. Now, I am learning how to let go of that shame and guilt because I know that I that having these problems isn't my fault. I don't know why at 41 it has taken so long to find someone who understands and speaks with such clarity, but here I am anyways extremely grateful! I'm doing the Daily Practice (started this morning) and already I'm noticing a shift in my nervous system. Thank you, Anna, for speaking truth. It's what I have prayed for for such a long time. 🙏🏻❤️
It starts at 4:09. Also, I use this in conjunction with “6 steps of inner bonding” which has been life changing for my cptsd in case you need something more, too.
Tears rolling down. Everything u said was bang on for me. I definitely had a brain injury n started getting epilepsy unable to deal without the abusive mom I had..Luckily I c myself in stage 5 of my healing process...Wish I could just hug u right now Anna..❤
I love your teaching method. the best teachers are those who have lived that life and practiced what they preach. Thanks for sharing the knowledge you have gained through experience, trial and error.
I was 10 weeks in a trauma clinic it helped me nothing, then I started doing research by myself and slowly I get my life and my inner drive back. I don't say it works for everyone but for me it works well.
We're glad your research brought you to this community!
-Cara@TeamFairy
It would be so nice to be able to have a family of humans, but I feel safer with animals.
Last night, spending time with a friend at her house. Had dinner and watched a movie. She gave me a back rub that I was in desperate need of because I have been deprived for years of touch. I remember saying how I felt spoiled.
This morning, I thought about how having my physical needs met feels like being spoiled...
the very definition of childhood neglect.
I hope there is hope for me through your technique, Anna. Thank you so much for all you do and share. You are a great light in this world and a Queen Esther at such a time me as this.
The reason I respond so well to this type of help is because I dont have to talk about my past. It was to hard to live once why would i want to relive it over and over again?
Thank you :)
Exactly!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Nothing has helped me so far. So glad I found this woman and her work. She is a Godsend
So happy to hear that!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Been in phase 1 for about 3 years trying to self educate and "feel around in the dark" for help and relief. Finding your channel has ushered in phase 2 and I am feeling the precious "epiphany" moments more often and for longer periods. They're no longer like stumbling across a unicorn in the wild - I can be intentional about them! It's deeply refreshing to feel seen and understood for the first time in my 54 years. Thank you for doing the work and for making it available to others like me.
I have #1 down pat - it (trauma) ruled and ruined my life. Recently came to understand dysregulation, its effects, and how to re-regulate. These stages are not linear for me. Connecting with others and not feeling abandoned, rejected, alone, not belonging...this 'big one' will take more effort over time. I began to face my self-defeating behaviors long ago, but in a fuzzy way that did not foster progress. Now the way is clear. Here too, I already have good results in shedding my limiting beliefs. Discovering the 'real me' is an ongoing, and now not so terrifying thing. The terror was all trauma driven. Living in the real world was terror inducing under trauma. To sufferers like myself: there is a way out of trauma driven isolation. Apply what works for us; and accept the coming wonderful healing results!
So well said, thank you :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy - 🙂
I’m glad i’ve became aware of cptsd at a pretty young age (19). I don’t want to continue living this way and I feel really bad for people who’ve had this for over 40+ years
Thanks a lot for this channel
Jep, bin there😐 Classic schooled therapists often think one way. Giving you homework but your inner " ego " already said "not this way" when you even haven't leave. And then they can't work with you because you don't do your homework and therefore unconscious add to your idea "there's something wrong with me". There should be more therapists searching for alternatives like Anna 😊👋🏼
“Guess what you can learn to re-regulate”
She’s amazing! I think hope is so powerful, and your videos of full of hope! Thanks for that!
Yes! Thank YOU!
-Cara@TeamFairy
While scrolling and reading comments as the video was playing, I came across this one at the very moment I heard it in the video.
I started my healing journey one week ago when Hunny reacted in a PTSD way to something I said. But for some reason, both of us in a Triggered state, he said something that sunk in and I recognized that I myself was acting out in a PTSD way. It took only a moment to sift my early childhood memories and identify. The voracious learner/reader that I am, and with RUclips suggestions, I dove into the topic and felt my Pressure Relief Valve let go. The decades of pent-up stress finally had a name, and now I could learn how to tame it and release it. Getting help and support from Hunny as I work on healing myself might help him recognize the C-PTSD behavior pattern in himself. We both need this. We're both teachable when we want to learn.
Most timely - thank you so much! I also want to say that I’m beyond grateful for your calm demeanor and gentle voice. There’s so much good stuff on RUclips - but if people have screechy voices or the f***ing vocal fry and/or jacked up energy, I’m gone within the first few minutes and I ain’t comin back. There’s no such thing as a message I can hear when it’s delivered by people like that. A lifelong trigger (and I just turned 68, that’s a long time, dude). My narc mother and every single person on her side of the family were SO LOUD! My dad mocked me whenever I cried, which was often. Called me Sarah Bernhardt and did this creepy “crying mime” face/act at me, usually after I’d had my spine jammed thru the top of my skull as he’d raise me up in the air and “plant” my ass thru the seat of one of their ugly old wooden captain’s chairs around the DR table. BOOM! And don’t you dare move a hair or sniffle again! Or look to the dog or your sister for comfort. Zero upholstered furniture in their home. Lots of wooden chairs from the homes of THEIR grandparents. Yuck. The question “how would you like to get your ass planted??” was always just around the corner. Oh, yes please, sir - my tailbone is still bruised from 2 days ago, but it’s starting to heal - let’s just go ahead and freshen that up, shall we?? Mom loved lacing into me with the fly swatter. Welts and bits of dead flies on the legs. Another favorite question was “howzabout I give you something to cry about?” I had violent migraines, was bullied at school, bit my nails and cuticles till my fingers were raw and thought about suicide every single day. Jeez, how’d I go down this rabbit hole?? I guess because it’s a reflective winter day. We are living thru uniquely anxiety-inducing times. It’s therapeutic for me to write, face-to-face talk therapy has never worked for me and now with COVID - even if I could afford therapy, fuhgeddabout it! I’ve always avoided other people whenever possible - so now that’s it’s too cold to garden and we’re supposed to be staying in, plenty of time for DIY RUclips-therapy-by-the-fire-with-a-cat-in-your-lap, lol. No midday traffic and parking problems. The 45 minute “lunchtime” appointment that puts you 2.5 hrs in arrears at work if you live in a big city. I’d come back to the office after a therapy appointment completely HANGRY and have 3 or 5 “rush” projects waiting on my desk. It was just impossible. Plus the hairy deductibles and co-pays and $15 to park in a ginormous LA medical complex?? Not worth it. SO...very glad to have found you, dear Fairy* I also get a LOT out of other people’s comments. Thanks to all. ❤️
*favorite nickname of my entire life was “Carrot Faerie” - I had a horse and would share some 🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕 with every other horse on the property (the ones whose owners permitted it). One of the other horse moms would see me coming with my 25# bag and announce “here comes the Carrot Faerie!” LOTS of whinnying and nickering - one of the sweetest sounds on Earth. I think I’d be way better regulated if I could be close to a/some horse(s) again. But like going to see a therapist regularly, WAY too expensive.
Sarah, alot said here. You did not deserve such awful parenting! Do you talk to them now? Me, narc dad, abusive and emotionally absent. Waiting for the next rage. I was just a little girl. Not protected by my co dependent mom. I feel empty most times and fight depression like a drowning human. Isolate, yes, safer. I feel ya girl. These vidios help, did not understand triggers, but I do now. Thanks for sharing!! YOU HAVE AN AWESOME SENSE OF HUMOR.
Talk therapy did help me a lot when I was younger, but I have been misdiagnosed so many times that just made things worse (medications). Now, talking to a therapist just makes me more angry and feeling helpless. Now, watching your channel and others is helping, and I bought Pete Walker's book C-PTSD. Just started reading it. Thank you for helping me with what I can do. It's impowering.
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful. Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
One of the solutions I have had great results with is allowing myself the gift of being open to many different therapies, different therapists, different perspectives (including channels on RUclips) and letting myself hear and heal. I have a lot of epiphanies just going through my day and allowing myself to process what I have been told and listened too.
I also highly value taking a step back from therapy to give yourself time to let it all soak in and stop agitating the core wound like active therapy does poke at.
I find I no longer want to talk about my traumatic past but for a long time that was all I could talk about. In the meantime I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 mood disorder but I truly believe that my simptoms of anxiety and depression is part of C-PTSD. It's been a painful but rewarding journey as I learn to accept and love myself and others more.
I wish you the best❤! I think sooo many of us with cptsd get misdiagnosed with so many things!!!
We are wonderfully and marvelously made. The best thing that helped me besides forgiving all the people who hurt me. I started counting, l would make four lines then a slash for every five people. 40th + starting at age 5 that l remember. I have found that until l could describe the pain, l was stuck in the pain. Take cards and put words that come to your mind when you remember something. They don't even have to be normal words. Like, bells ringing, bee humming, white hot like a white hot poker stick. This is what my body went through at twelve years old, when my father hit my body with his belt while l was sleeping in the middle of the night. My eyes opened up, l saw white hot, like a poker stick after it's been in the fire for awhile. My body sounded like bee's humming and felt like bell ringing. I've often think, how did l ever go back to sleep. I jump at sudden noises. I am always on high alert.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I've been struggling whole my life with being on alert the whole time, being incapable of trusting others, being outside is like going to a war everytime. But the worst thing about it - I always felt unworthy. Unworthy of my hobbies, the people I know, unworthy of some of my clothes even.
Therapists said it may be BPD, or it may be Asperger's, but can't be sure, and so on.
Once you said in another video that journaling, avoiding sugar, and vigorous physical activity - are all helpful, which is what I've been drawn to subconsciously for the last couple years - it all clicked like a key in a lock.
Learning about nutrition and changing my diet to eat foods to help my brain heal has been really helpful for me.
It's an important piece :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
So thank you fairy. I am 30 and till now lived always trying to prove nothing was wrong with me. It was very hard since there was this PTSD functioning everytime and I always felt it was my fault and I will always be like this. I always tried to fight with my dysregulations not knowing about that. I have many issues still but to find out what really it is and to have a hope that I can heal myself is so good. Thank you very much.
You're welcome, I'm really glad you are finding some relatedness!
You're right. I find having to constantly talk about the trauma and also living with Autism and ADHD which are hurdles themselves only brought me back to the place of feeling vulnerable and angry. Medication will just alleviate for a while (which I would have appreciated but was refused) but its actually evasive and can create a dependency. We cant undo the past but we can learn new ways of coping with its memories to take us to where we want to be.
Exactly, once we embrace that we have some agency over ourselves from this point forward, we are on our way!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This last week has been the greatest week of my life, and I don’t know what to make of it. For years I have avoided addressing my trauma… and I finally hit a rock bottom in frustration around two weeks ago. For the past few years my mind has been totally racing, completely on high alert, always assuming this “end of life” event is around the corner. I battled it best I could but I finally had enough, and returned to the place where the trauma occurred. I relearned that there is no danger in this place. I learned that what had happened to me was over. I’ve been relearning to forgive myself. I turn 21 in march and I can’t wait to be alive once more.
This is only a small part of the whole story. I’d explain it more clearly but my writing isn’t that good. I wish you all the best.
I'm ready to get my life back. I never thought I could have C-PTSD, and because I was misdiagnosed for so many years, I'm now facing a 2nd divorce from my forever partner. She says my actions haven't matched my words, and I'm crushed that she has given up on me. I haven't been able to work through the trauma because I've been consumed by this loss.
The way you talked about what I'm going through made me feel really safe. Your choice of words truly come from a place of profound and compassionate understanding of the subject matter. Thank you for sharing this to everyone. I wish my siblings find safety like this as they heal themselves too. I'd probably share this to them when they're open. It sucks for us that CPTSD happened to all 4 of us because of our upbringing but I have renewed hope now that we can end the cycle with our generation.
I'm so glad the video was helpful. Sending encouragement to you and your family! -Calista@TeamFairy
I experienced the "epiphany" she talks about in this video. What a HUGE relief to finally name the problem and have a set of tools to start the healing process. By the way, I turned 60 this year. Anna is right that it's never too late.
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment! Good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
Anna you have a real communication gift -- combining your personal journey with all the current medical research and presenting it in such a simple format for everyone to understand. Merry Christmas!
❤ Thank you wholeheartedly, I finally realized I am not my trauma and no longer identify myself with my issues ❤
As a "professional", working in the human services field, at the graduate level, leading weekly group therapy sessions, and diagnosed with C-PTSD, Anna is one hundred percent correct, and for me, has found the answers that help make sense of the madness, which is quite familiar for any person living with untreated/unhealed trauma. Her approach has been working for me. I'm so thankful I was lucky enough to locate this channel, which really was by chance. Your teachings and common sense approach is a God-send.
This is high praise. Thank you. That my work is helpful to your work means the world to me.
I am 73 now. When I was 17 I went to a neurologist. Was on 3 medications, 10 pills a day. When the meds ran out I was on a school trip. And entirely on my own. I had a horrific experience. So I went the way of "a psychiatric survivor". That got me through the 70's where my closest friend were junkies. I felt the same way about street drugs. Th pathway to nowhere. Fast forward... ...I was stuck until I went to a physiotherapist who helped me sort out my breathing patterns. It took away my suicidal thoughts. It has taken time and patience to retrain my brain- but it is working.
I’ve never really spoken to anyone ….when I did, the therapist didn’t call me after the holidays to continue treatment. 💔
I’m so grateful I love myself and I found you!!
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I had no idea I could re-regulate my self, but I'm doing it daily, and hourly sometimes! This is the best thing I've run across, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It IS an honorable and holy project. Thanks for the template!
Thank you so much for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have a good therapist. She listens to things I say that contradict myself, and she keeps me thinking toward progress. And yet, the progress is glacial. This is looking great!
Wonderful, glad you're here!
I took a break from watching your videos because I have been reading other resources, etc. but I am coming back to learn from them. Your words and wisdom stand out and I want to thank you for the work you do and for the effort you make. I have been to different counselings and groups, and yes I picked something up from each person and place. At the same time I feel I still have a lot of work to do, to feel part of life, to feel motivated to get up in the morning. I live VERY small and I live in survival mode. I have had moments in my life when I have felt alive, hopeful and inspired. Those moments seem so brief and small. For a while now (years) I have had a lot of trouble wanting to be a part of life. I struggle. And I have lost trust. I don't trust going to counseling. I will not take medication ever again. I take multivitamins, and melatonin when I really need it. Even that decision causes me discomfort.
So many people I have sought out for help have severely let me down.
Your work stands out because you are humble and share a lot in common with those of us who also struggle. Doctors and counselors seem distant and one sided vulnerability is very difficult.
Thank you for sharing your experience, knowledge and research. It is very helpful.
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful, thank you for being here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Wow! This video speaks to me! I have identified that I have CPSD but I’ve never heard anyone tell me how to truly heal it. I’ve spoken with therapists that I told my story to but I always felt worse and more hopeless about my healing afterward. I had never heard the term “disregulation” before and it was like a light bulb. Im sitting here crying happy tears right now because for once, I know there is a way out of this and a path for 100% healing! Thank you for posting your videos!
I really, really, really appreciate the work you are doing. We watched this as a community yesterday, and then talked. What was intriguing to me, is that, in the present moment, after a 30 year journey, I am in a state of wholeness/wellness from complex-PTSD, and so many of these expressions, resonate with me. With that said, I did not experience these five crucial phases of healing complex PTSD, but had a different experience. My sense is, that not all complex-PTSD is equal. That each journey is unique to the nature of the trauma, the biology of our body, our own unique characteristics, our environment. My process was different, with some common threads. My path was to quest truth, to reach out to something with more wisdom than myself, and ask for support and guidance, and to trust the wisdom of the body, my intuition, and then, the flow began. I am in complete agreement about "therapy", at this phase in my life, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, as ineffective as it was, having a container to go to as things first began to bubble up, kept me safe. When I processed, they knew very little about treating trauma, and I found, by seeking with an open heart/open mind for answers, things came to me to do, that support healing, that NOW is being talked about as supportive to healing the dysregulation, other things. In my most recent weeks, from a place of wellness, because it was free, and my partner said, hey, I am enjoying it, why donʻt you try it, I plugged back into counseling, and found myself immediately dysregulated working with someone who knew absolutely nothing about trauma. The last person I worked with, said you are done, and well, there does come a place in the process where one even has to let go of that identity, of being someone with complex-PTSD, anxiety, panic, DID, because all the stories have been process, emotions shifted, the body/brain back in alignment, relationships. There is one phase not mentioned, that I found important in my own journey, grief. Also, once the self is re-assimilated, then one is drawn to seeing what can be salvaged, healed, in family, and family healing occurs. After that is begun, then I found a layer of ancestral trauma, and any historical trauma, such as in my own family. Beautiful work Crappy Childhood Fairy! Thank you for sharing your magic! p.s. yes, on occassion, things do surface, to be witnessed, and healed, but the things I have in place, manage it beautifully. It is sustainable, my body comes back to balance much easier. Also a note, I am glad I processed younger. It is MUCH harder to process when one is older, aging...
Neat, thank you! I've known about being aware of my symptoms while they're happening. "Popping out" and seeing my movement jank up or stare off deeply set in a flashback is honestly quite interesting. I've compared my symptoms to prey behavior, how they instinctually read into every sense, every noise is louder, every light is blinding. THAT mode of thinking is hard to pull out of, but I've been doing great at it lately.
You are really changing peoples lives. I had no idea that my childhood literally affected every single part of my life in this way. Your videos are helping me make the necessary changes so I can finally discover who I was alway meant to be without all the dysregulation. Thank you so much for your work!
I'm so glad!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for all the help I'm receiving from tour videos and hope and sincerely hope with all my heart Australia can learn and start your practical advice for CPTSD and I'm trying to help myself totally on my own explaining my symptoms with the help of your videos, to myself you are a God send 🙏🙏❤❤
Therapy for me at least was a waste of time. I went to 5 therapists, told my story, I said I had PTSD and I wanted to heal I hoped they could help me and I was really trying to trust the process. But because I'm only 15 and was 13/14 when the trauma occured, they wouldn't believe it and would treat it as just normal teenage anxiety. No, I am not being dramatic. I wish I was. Medication made me feel out of my mind, delusional and I felt like I was postponing something all the time.
Your channel is helping me more than therapy ever did, thank you ✨
How did you manage to connect (meet your husband)? The ability to establish a connection is the greatest challenge; not going into panic-mode at the thought of any emotional or physical intimacy.
@Trudy_Fox that is such a powerful question. I was able to see that he was a good man, and connect with him (gradually) because I was doing all the things that I teach in my courses! And actually *being* married is another stage of healing, and this is where I learn a great deal of what I teach in how to not just meet, but connect in an ever-strengthening way.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I find I go into Woody Allen talk-mode. If you watch his films he uses rapid words to stay afloat (like a defense of sorts) in a triggering social situation. Decades of therapy has only made him more analytical and intellectual- in his head space. You can see how clearly uncomfortable he is with feeling intimacy; as if he would be consumed and his self would be swallowed by the other person.
Trudy Fox I find it hard to connect with people. I’m scared to reach out for help. I’m scared of making friends. I just have a fear of people. Whenever I go out in public, I get really anxious. Not only do I have CPTSD, but I also have autism and a physical disability. I’m afraid of people, especially strangers. I guess I have social anxiety for a lack of a better term. It makes me nervous when people interact with me. I get this horrible feeling inside, because I’m so scared they might hurt me, either physically or mentally. I even try my hardest at hiding my feelings, even when I’m dysregulated. Just because I don’t want to talk nor think about it. So I say that I’m ok, even though I’m actually dysregulated. Just because I don’t want to effect anybody else’s moods. I’m all about trying to be a light in people’s lives. Not necessarily people pleasing. Because if people hate me, then they don’t need to be wasting their time interacting with me now, do they? But if they love me, and I mean truly love me, then that’s fine. But sometimes I just need that proof that they mean what they say, because I have really severe trust issues with the world. The only people I can trust are my mom, my husband, and myself.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy agree that in marriage healing can happen with the right spouse.
I can’t remember what happened to me. My mind has made me forget. But it’s out of control. I can’t remember who I was. I live in the moment. I can’t remember the past and I don’t know what the future holds. I was mauled by a pit bull and husky seven years ago when I was checking my mail. I’m in therapy now and on medication. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia,severe depression, severe anxiety and agoraphobia. This is my second attempt at therapy. Years ago I was seeing someone for a couple of weeks. Had a dream that has haunted me for years. I got scared and just didn’t go back. In the dream I felt like I had lost something and it was behind a brick wall. I tore down the wall and saw the bones of a small child. I picked them up and held them in my arms and rocked back and forth. I have never in my life felt such grief. I can only compare it to losing one of my own children. I have realized that I am not whole. I have been grieving for that part of me.😢
I feel like everyone says this, but I genuinely thought so many of these experiences were just me 😩 I first started “popping out” when driving alone, realizing I was calm & not panicked about anything. It felt so…different. Thank you for this amazing resource!
I just learned in April 2024 at age 31 that I have complex PTSD. Just started somatic therapy today on April 8th portal. ❤ thank you for your videos
i wonder how much trauma is too much? what a patient just feels like they are way to far out to be reeled back in. i think ive had my last therapist tell me i have enough trauma for 10 people. i couldn't believe it. after i started trying to put a trauma timeline together i was at number 54 and was little over halfway mark. i never realized just how much i had. i live in fight or flight with every single person i interact with everyday. a flowing super wide overflowing river of up and down emotions that i am discovering i cant even be around anyone for like 15 to 20 minutes. incredibly exhausting. if i dont cry everyday then its every other day. ive recently started isolating hard.
S.F. Morris I can totally relate
You're not alone! I so relate!! ✌️❣️
Thank you so much for your insight and service. I’m crying. After 22 years of therapy & 25 years of meditation and mindfulness, your videos are the first legitimate ray of CPTSD healing hope Ive encountered. I feel seen in an entirely new way. I am so grateful for you; thank you ♾.
That's beautiful! Hope is real!
I have seen a counselor and holistic practitioner. Both of these people are wonderful and have helped me learn and grow. Neither mentioned dysregulation. I have been listening to your videos on my commute to work and I want to thank you for putting things in to perspective for me and helping me overcome childhood PTSD.
Thank you @Marla_Thomas. I hadn't heard people talk about it either, until about five years ago and it clicked for me too. It completed something I had already been working to teach and alchemized into Crappy Childhood Fairy
The majority of the message in this video hit home in spite of the extreme negative self-talk I had while listening. I've only tried to get help setting 2017. There has been some progress with counseling and meds. It seems there's always something working against me that I don't understand or process. Relationships on all levels are difficult and traumatic at times for me. Like the fairy says, I have some inkling of who I am but I'm stuck in a reactionary state of shock at times. I can't fully feel comfortable and let myself feel safe to bring out my purpose in life. I seem unaware of my emotional regulation until it's way off centered and I feel overwhelmed by life. I too had complex trauma and have never felt secure or happy in life since the traumatic childhood events. I feel good about exploring this channel and content. I laughed a few times watching the video because she speaks like a loving, witty, and honest mother.
Welcome! Check out the website for more resources! So glad you're here crappychildhoodfairy.com/
-Cara@TeamFairy
1. Realize what trauma is doing to you. It is not personal failure. Normalize your responses to abnormal experiences rather than blaming self. This may involve sharing your trauma story--but not necessarily; know that the portrayal that sharing your trauma cures it does not work for healing.
2. Understand disregulation. Emotional, Brain activity, hormonal (metabolism, etc.). Notice when it happens, how it shows itself, how to respond when it happens. You can learn to re-regulate and turn it around. (Q: Is this like re-parenting?) (I love the idea of support groups)...
3. And of course--the 3rd step is building a support network around the re-regulation work you are doing.
4. Facing your own self sabotaging behaviors.
5. The ability to shed the trauma-based self/identity. Empowered self. True Identity.
3, 4, and 5 seem beyond my current level, difficult for me to follow. Hmm.
So... where do we find our own group therapy/ self-lead groups? This doesn't seem to be offered in any of the mental health channels I've emcountered.
Finding you today was divine intervention ❤ Thank you
She is truly an expert. I'm so glad I found her. And I mean that. She shines like the sun for me.
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
The therapeutic relationship, ideally, is forming a healthy connection with a safe other.
I've watched your channel for almost 5 years.. I'm a long time 12 steper and your daily practice, inventory suggestion, is a really great and useful tool.
Your channel is very beneficial.
I've been seeing my therapist for over 3 years, every week.
Here's what's happened for me there..
She's never flaked out.
The whole hour I can focus on myself rather than worrying about the needs of another. (It's meant to be this way).
We laugh, we talk, and once in a while I'll do EMDR or EFT.
I trust her and I'm still slow to speak out loud what I can write down instead..
But I do..
Little by little..
And I have a relationship that is supposed to be focused on me and she respects that too.
❤️
Amazing Anna - I have been through the gamut of meds and other different types pf therapy, only staying stuck, lying to myself and others that it was working, and really only getting worse or wondering what was really hahe ppening and blaming myself for "failure to thrive".... You are besides being the CCF - a GUARDIAN ANGEL. Thank you for.....everyting!
Thank you so much Anna I’ve spent decades wondering what is wrong with me and beating myself up I’m so happy I found your page. I’ve recently registered for your dysregulation boot camp and am looking forward to true relief. 🙏🏼❤️
I have suppressed memories of being rescued from a burning car and also a car accident when I was little I now can finally remember them picking glass out of my hair and face. I didn’t really fully remember these things until now and your videos just make so much sense so I would like to thank you and express my deep gratitude for what you do. Instead of bingeing Netflix or Twitter, I’m bingeing your videos and doing the work. It’s like untangling a great web that I’ve woven.. very inspiring work! ❤
You are in the right place. Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment!
Nika@TeamFairy
I’m telling my children this is why I reacted inappropriately in the past. I did the best that I could with the tools that I had. They were watching old family videos and realized how much they were loved. I tried to break the chain. I recommend your videos to everyone I know.
Good on you for healing as a parent! And thanks for sharing vids. You are kind!
actually that sounds perfect because in the beginning that's how it started with me came in and would leave it was the opposite way and now i suffer with cptsd panic attack clinical depression and i wish to God all mighty that it leave the same way in came
Just the idea, of shedding those layers brought me to tears, I have found y ooyr content to be so helpful.. My problem being in Australia, it's hard to be in groups with you guys with the time difference. I may just have to bite the bullet and get up at 3 am for some group love...
This is year 6 of my "quarantine" (injury, not prison, lol). Time seems irrelevant, not the best state of mind, I know. My point is, am I the only one that's actually up at 3 am anyway? Just saying, I would take your call, co-dependent as it may be, I think anyone here would.
Just last Friday I was in a webinar on EQ & EI & realised i struggle to regulate my emotions & have been feeling guilty & down about it wondering what to do about it & why I can't be "normal"... this is a very welcome & well timed video!
Of course my trauma & cptsd has neurological affects! I stopped taking meds in February because it wasn't working, I feel talk therapy has worked to a point, but THIS VIDEO.... thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blessings to you, thank you for your openess & happy festivus
FESTIVUS!!! 🤣🤪
Young people that listen to you are so lucky, because it's the crucial information for healing.
I work for the NHS and my therapist Chris was amazing, we can get free counselling. We did EMDR together and she even said to me I am self awareness enough to go out there take the tools I have and that I can do this. She didn't say never get therapy again just that it was counter-productive to keep coming year after year. I really am grateful for her.
I’m in the UK but only get offered 6 sessions and on a waiting list for minimum 6 months
It's very strange to hear my life described when i thought i was the only one. I've been married 40 yrs, have kids and grandkids, but i always feel I'm on the outside looking in.
@@sll110 thankyou for encouraging
I learned to survive by pretending I had no needs and taking care of others. How do I connect with myself?