Sargon of Akkad | Fallen Titans #16

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 18 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,7 тыс.

  • @QuintonReviews
    @QuintonReviews  4 года назад +381

    Check out THIS great GAME ➱ bit.ly/2w4fcWW
    Thanks to Hippie Rat for helping write that verse ➱ ruclips.net/user/HippieRat
    My Twitter ➱ twitter.com/Q_Review
    My Patreon ➱ www.patreon.com/QReview
    Our Reddit ➱ goo.gl/yXwRVY
    Our Lore Wiki ➱ quintonreviews.fandom.com/wiki/Johnmas

    • @LemonMoon
      @LemonMoon 4 года назад +83

      You can tell the raid link is fake because there isn’t an unnecessary amount of emojis.

    • @lemuntpicard7482
      @lemuntpicard7482 4 года назад +33

      You're a master-baiter.

    • @RoamingAdhocrat
      @RoamingAdhocrat 4 года назад +4

      hey, good way to avoid needing folk to spell your name

    • @smjaiteh
      @smjaiteh 4 года назад +14

      Why do I have a feeling that he actually played the game that much to do the joke?

    • @Gayfrogscollective
      @Gayfrogscollective 4 года назад +16

      Really love you taking the piss out of Raid.
      I'm also quite fond of what Internet Historian does with them, despite those being proper sponsorships.

  • @Norogoth
    @Norogoth 4 года назад +4306

    "He died 4,000 years ago." Ha ha lame joke dude.
    Later: . . . Oh. OH.

    • @janfungusamon4926
      @janfungusamon4926 4 года назад +98

      @Autumn Potato sargon of akkad is an ancient Mesopotamian dude. Look him up.

    • @RantKid
      @RantKid 4 года назад +38

      @Void Spam It says "edited" because you had originally spelled it "your", didn't you? Ya, it totally was.

    • @vueno8552
      @vueno8552 4 года назад +43

      @@RantKid just fuckin chill my guy

    • @Meladjusted
      @Meladjusted 4 года назад +20

      @Void Spam Why would the commenter have come into a Quinton Reviews video obviously knowing it was going to be talking about the historical Sargon again? Are you sure YOU understand the video?

    • @thomaslance5428
      @thomaslance5428 4 года назад +2

      He's not dead cause he was never alive lol

  • @DERKingston
    @DERKingston 4 года назад +1735

    Never knew that before Boomer, Zoomer, and Doomer there was Sumer...

  • @VinnieGer
    @VinnieGer 4 года назад +2811

    The biggest April fool joke is that the statue used for Sargon’s look isn’t actually Sargon.

    • @tadstrange1465
      @tadstrange1465 4 года назад +105

      Do you mean that's it's not actually what Benjamin "Sargon" looks like or it's not a statue of the actual historical Sargon of Akkad?

    • @samwilson7044
      @samwilson7044 4 года назад +202

      @@tadstrange1465 not actually depicting the historical figure it's someone else from his dynasty i belive

    • @tadstrange1465
      @tadstrange1465 4 года назад +11

      sam wilson
      Oh

    • @Xx_BoogieBomber_xX
      @Xx_BoogieBomber_xX 4 года назад +178

      that's because to find out hed have to read for more than 5 minutes

    • @kapitankapital6580
      @kapitankapital6580 4 года назад +50

      Well tbf it's more that we don't know. It might be Sargon, and since we don't have any other images of Sargon, I think it's probably okay to use the image to represent him.

  • @redgreen2453
    @redgreen2453 4 года назад +313

    Ur-Zababa pisses blood and pus: It was fear!
    Sargon: I think you have syphilis or something
    Ur-Zababa: I SAID IT WAS FEAR!

  • @300-blkout
    @300-blkout 4 года назад +2775

    Words cannot express how unhappy I am that the Raid Shadow Legends link is not a Rick Roll.

  • @JeevesAnthrozaurUS
    @JeevesAnthrozaurUS 4 года назад +1736

    Part Clickbait, part April Fool's Joke, part Historical lesson, part Raid: Shadow Legends Lore video
    This is quality content

    • @tylerdurden788
      @tylerdurden788 4 года назад +2

      You should see the lock picking lawyers one. He helps an ex girlfriend with a lock.

    • @roborat
      @roborat 3 года назад +4

      Without the context that this is uploaded on April 1st it just seems weird

    • @Ttegegg
      @Ttegegg 2 года назад

      @@roborat and that’s the best part

  • @SwimmingInSunlight
    @SwimmingInSunlight 4 года назад +2918

    To all people questioning if Sargon of Akkad would even count as a titan, he IS the first credited person to ever having ruled an empire, just saying 😧

    • @HOULWOOD
      @HOULWOOD 4 года назад +144

      Egypt was unified under a single king a thousand years before Sargon was even born, he stole their idea like right wing youtubers steal each others content 😪

    • @trevordavis6830
      @trevordavis6830 4 года назад +57

      All jokes aside, I do remember him being somewhat big and used to watch a lot of his content back in high school until I realized just how much of lying, manipulative, hypocrite he is.

    • @SwimmingInSunlight
      @SwimmingInSunlight 4 года назад +45

      @@trevordavis6830 last I heard of him was in his feud with youtuber Big Joel, with him ever-eloquent argument of "who caaares" 😂

    • @wobbenbuffet3286
      @wobbenbuffet3286 4 года назад +11

      @@HOULWOOD empire shmempire

    • @Vontux
      @Vontux 4 года назад +22

      @@trevordavis6830 I used to watch his content because I used to think reactionaries were clowns to laugh at, make fun of and not take seriously. But then 2016...whoops!

  • @HippieRat
    @HippieRat 4 года назад +222

    Here are the lyrics for the Fresh King of Akkad poem:
    In West Azupiranu, born -- not raised
    In a palace was where I spent most of my days.
    My mother was a priestess, my father I knew not.
    The brothers of my father loved the hills a lot
    It was Mom’s secret to have a kid,
    So she put me in a basket and glued on the lid
    And chose the nearest town to have me delivered
    But instead of UPS, I was yeeted in a river
    I got found by Akki, he was the drawer of water,
    Took me under his wing and now I call him a father
    I tended to his garden since I made it this far
    He said “you’re gonna be visited by the goddess Ishtar”

    • @Peasham
      @Peasham 4 года назад +8

      But can you make me a sandwich?

    • @Persivefire
      @Persivefire 3 года назад +3

      - Sargon Of Akkad, the great rapper since 24th Century BC

    • @eliasmg9144
      @eliasmg9144 3 года назад +2

      I can already hear this being rapped with the beat of the fresh prince of bel air

    • @unstoppableExodia
      @unstoppableExodia 2 года назад

      @@eliasmg9144 someone shouted make a RUclips video of that

  • @Vesperitis
    @Vesperitis 4 года назад +1694

    I have never been so educated by an April Fool's joke.

    • @americossack3870
      @americossack3870 4 года назад +32

      I’m not even mad, I love history

    • @jblue1622
      @jblue1622 4 года назад

      AmeriCossack history always feels much better than the present, that’s why all kinds of people look back at a time when armies were just constantly slaughtering each other and at any time an army could just kill you, so people had to be on guard even while sleeping........

    • @retrogamelover2012
      @retrogamelover2012 4 года назад +12

      Certainly more educated than the arrogant, bearded twit of an Englishman that uses his name.

    • @izellets7361
      @izellets7361 4 года назад +1

      I do not trust a word in that video.

    • @gnalkhere
      @gnalkhere 4 года назад

      there's 5secondfilms' April Fool's joke

  • @Jes_Draws
    @Jes_Draws 4 года назад +987

    No joke though, I'd love it if Quinton actually did a series about unreliable narratives centered on historical figures.

    • @PassiveNights
      @PassiveNights 4 года назад +10

      nancydrew360 like Hardcore History

    • @sayanApprentice095
      @sayanApprentice095 4 года назад +17

      I'll love to see quinton's take on Calígula

    • @QuintonReviews
      @QuintonReviews  4 года назад +204

      I guess I kind of did, huh.

    • @Nyrkvennasogur
      @Nyrkvennasogur 4 года назад +18

      @@QuintonReviews I'm glad you take time to respond to 3 month old comments

    • @cesarmadero05
      @cesarmadero05 4 года назад +6

      Unironically Quinton begin calling out The History Channel.
      Quinton, jokes aside, you should see Mark Fenton Productions, he does WW2 really well.

  • @lostuser1094
    @lostuser1094 4 года назад +4392

    Wuh oh, incoming hate comments from Mesopotamia stans.

    • @Kyberdude
      @Kyberdude 4 года назад +73

      Lost User really? Because all I see in the comments are Dilmun and Magan stans going “LoL tHe MeSoPoTaMiAnS”

    • @bimbowithadegree420
      @bimbowithadegree420 4 года назад +3

      It will burn and im here to see it

    • @theonlymexicanman4422
      @theonlymexicanman4422 4 года назад +25

      Kyberdude did you watch the video? He talks about the actual Sargon of Akkad not the dipshit youtuber

    • @dasboom7133
      @dasboom7133 4 года назад +4

      Levant representing!! This guy can suuuuck it!

    • @Kyberdude
      @Kyberdude 4 года назад +24

      Theonlymexicanman Man Do you know the ancient civilizations Dilmun and Magan? What did you assume I was talking about when I mentioned those?

  • @ToonrificTariq
    @ToonrificTariq 4 года назад +1091

    I identify so much with that rant about Raid. They emailed me once, I gave them my rate, and I swear I think they blocked me.

  • @CoolbroSwaggins
    @CoolbroSwaggins 4 года назад +558

    I used to be a follower of Sargon but then I got lost in the desert

    • @majorsquizzardhecatonicosa2152
      @majorsquizzardhecatonicosa2152 4 года назад +9

      I was a follower of Sargon like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

    • @garfoofian8507
      @garfoofian8507 4 года назад

      @@majorsquizzardhecatonicosa2152 *picture of cake* "the cake is a lie!"
      merry christmas from girls and games!

    • @swishyb
      @swishyb 4 года назад +1

      its a big place, the desert. got lost in it myself once.

    • @gumbothegreat4596
      @gumbothegreat4596 4 года назад +2

      This can be applied to either Sargon, and it's wonderful.

    • @mrnonsense1031
      @mrnonsense1031 4 года назад +3

      I used to be a follower of Sargon, but he got lost in the desert.

  • @GreaterSeraph
    @GreaterSeraph 4 года назад +669

    I'm amazed that he completely glossed over the moment where many supporters of his dynasty had their faith shaken in his abilities as a ruler when he debated Kir-Stee of Winters and when he dismissed the Hurrians as "autists".

    • @gonzo2834
      @gonzo2834 4 года назад +64

      You’re acting like a bunch of Sumerians.

    • @sisterimmaculata1680
      @sisterimmaculata1680 4 года назад +60

      I had completely forgotten about that debate, thank you for the cringe.

    • @GT-wj3gl
      @GT-wj3gl 4 года назад +46

      He lost three debates to her. It's no wonder that his kingdom began to collapse.

    • @nerveagent1905
      @nerveagent1905 4 года назад +3

      @Adam Beasley lmao snake boy

    • @EuropeanQoheleth
      @EuropeanQoheleth 4 года назад +11

      and autist isn't even a word really. The guy who thinks autistic is the same as retarded shows his own stupidity. Ironic.

  • @gorgonthedragon5017
    @gorgonthedragon5017 4 года назад +698

    great video so far really in depth and gets into everything about him, hell even where he lives now? the amount of research done is nuts for this video and i doubt we will see another like it.

    • @QuintonReviews
      @QuintonReviews  4 года назад +120

      wow

    • @inovakovsky
      @inovakovsky 4 года назад +16

      @@QuintonReviews It makes sense that this is is an April Fools video because this video has very few dislikes, which I expected an insane amount for talking about the RUclipsr when I saw the thumbnail. I bet some will call click-bait.

  • @FerretinSocks
    @FerretinSocks 4 года назад +138

    this is the most elaborate thirst trap i've ever seen

  • @gameking501
    @gameking501 4 года назад +312

    I came here for a goofy April Fool’s Day episode, and I got a meaningful exploration of the difficulties facing historians in reconstructing the lives of Bronze Age rulers. Quinton came out here and spoke on the fine line between legendary histories and manufactured legacies. Very well done!

    • @CharonsNightmare
      @CharonsNightmare 4 года назад +15

      (historian here) Yeah he explained it pretty well. I mean you gotta imagine, ancient egypt's first dynasties were already archaelogically researched by later ancient egyptian historians (although their idea of history was ofc different then ours today). Ramses II. lead huge expeditions to temples which were already ancient even then for example. Oh and the dynastic order we have today? Totally pulled out of manethos ass prabably, partially? You get what I mean XD (he was a greek who lived in the 3rd century bc)

    • @nxgan1088
      @nxgan1088 4 года назад +1

      Nice pfp

  • @TheDeepPix3l
    @TheDeepPix3l 4 года назад +1238

    Me, a former Sargon fan: Oh shit, this may get juicy.
    Also me, 5 minutes in: This is EVEN BETTER.

    • @felixbache5369
      @felixbache5369 4 года назад +176

      Glad to hear you got out

    • @Jack93885
      @Jack93885 4 года назад +16

      What turned you off of him?

    • @corruptedmilk2481
      @corruptedmilk2481 4 года назад +19

      Oh lawd I remember being a big stan of his

    • @sargonsblackgrandfather2072
      @sargonsblackgrandfather2072 4 года назад +68

      TheDeepPix3l lol you were unironically a fan? Damn that’s tough man.

    • @halflifeger4179
      @halflifeger4179 4 года назад +104

      Jack Allan Growing up and not being as much of an idiot anymore

  • @thabic2019
    @thabic2019 4 года назад +610

    This video is 6 Sargons long and it isnt even about Carl

    • @Peasham
      @Peasham 4 года назад +11

      That's debatable

    • @OverseerXIII
      @OverseerXIII 4 года назад +2

      I know! My dopamine levels are still up!

    • @animorph17
      @animorph17 4 года назад +70

      @Miasma Yeeeeep. He screamed that a 5 minute video was too long to watch, so now 5 minutes is one sargon.

    • @ShawnBloom
      @ShawnBloom 4 года назад

      i know i was ready for a shit show

    • @TheDarkSatirist
      @TheDarkSatirist 4 года назад +26

      I love how he slipped a Sargon (the idiot) quote after there was no way that Sargon was going to see and definitely got bored and stopped watching

  • @nejdalej
    @nejdalej 4 года назад +49

    Other people: I watch Quinton Reviews for the plot
    Me, an intellectual: 24:56

  • @LaserThemTheGirl
    @LaserThemTheGirl 4 года назад +304

    I actually expected this to be a 28 minute-long video about RAID: Shadow Legends

  • @jamesmoore3879
    @jamesmoore3879 4 года назад +58

    "THE GREATES F2P RPG IN THE LAST 150 YEARS"
    The top F2P RPG of 1869: "Still got it, biatch"

    • @bloopahVIII
      @bloopahVIII 3 месяца назад

      Nothing like a good pillaging. Although the microtransaction costs for good equipment were a bit steep even back then.

  • @bennutting3546
    @bennutting3546 4 года назад +190

    As a history major, this is pretty much exactly how I was taught about the Akkadian Empire.

    • @helloofthebeach
      @helloofthebeach 4 года назад +36

      From a professor shouting about a mobile game and spilling beer all over his shirt?

    • @davidgantenbein9362
      @davidgantenbein9362 4 года назад +4

      Hero of the Beach Seems legit.

  • @directorforplastic7929
    @directorforplastic7929 4 года назад +81

    As soon as you capped off with “and that’s all you bee” I immediately got some Nam flashbacks. Evil Quinton’s back y’all.

    • @Evelyn_Richardson
      @Evelyn_Richardson 4 года назад +7

      Exactly! You see that windbreaker bare chest look, you know who that bee!

  • @reviathan3524
    @reviathan3524 4 года назад +516

    I'M SORRY QUINTON BUT WHAT DO YOU GET FOR CRITICIZING SOMEONE FROM A VERY ANCIENT CIVILIZATION?

  • @smjaiteh
    @smjaiteh 4 года назад +58

    Forget Sargon; the real villain of this story is the Raid: Shadow Legends plot.

  • @Alex-cw3rz
    @Alex-cw3rz 4 года назад +606

    Luckily Quinton showed that it was an April fools joke within one Sargon so I'm sure Carl's fans won't leave hateful comments at all....

    • @VRSVLVS
      @VRSVLVS 4 года назад +81

      Carl's fans are known to be a very lovely and compassionate bunch.

    • @abandonedchannel281
      @abandonedchannel281 4 года назад +32

      Bobby Siecker Press X to doubt

    • @Kiwii156
      @Kiwii156 4 года назад +38

      I'm sure his fans are people capable of critical thought and self awareness... right?

    • @VRSVLVS
      @VRSVLVS 4 года назад +12

      @@Kiwii156 Yes, facts and logic don't care about their feelings.

    • @ChamanConTenis
      @ChamanConTenis 4 года назад +9

      Wait, Sargon's name is CARL? LMAO

  • @MinutelyHipster
    @MinutelyHipster 4 года назад +335

    Is it weird that I was comforted when you took off your shirt? It's just I think that's the first time I've actually seen someone else with my body type or as much body hair as me, at all. And the lack of shame kind of made me feel more comfortable, even if you were also playing the character of a mad drunk.

    • @jblue1622
      @jblue1622 4 года назад +26

      MinutelyHipster wow his hair is like a Roman Chest plate up to his shoulders!

    • @Lmcv82
      @Lmcv82 4 года назад +25

      I'm a girl and I love that body type. Very manly.

    • @noahegler9131
      @noahegler9131 4 года назад +11

      Jokes on you, it turns out that the body hair belonged to Evil Bee Movie Quentin! You still have no proof that our Quentin has bodily functions! MUAHAHAHAHA

    • @noahegler9131
      @noahegler9131 4 года назад +10

      But seriously though, I feel you, big mood

    • @xsteveconwayx
      @xsteveconwayx 3 года назад +6

      There a dozens of us. And even though a lot of women may find it repulsive, there are plenty who love it, so keep your chin up, kid.

  • @baitzadasuto
    @baitzadasuto 4 года назад +140

    I knew this was 100% a joke from the minute I clicked on it but it didn't hit me full-force until the point where you said Sargon died 4,000 years ago. This is what April Fool's videos should aspire to

  • @DenisRicardo
    @DenisRicardo 4 года назад +231

    Swooning kinda hard for a shirtless Quinton.

    • @Onmius
      @Onmius 4 года назад +37

      I know right? The man's a sexy werewolf.

    • @vxvian
      @vxvian 4 года назад +4

      Same.

    • @bh4462
      @bh4462 4 года назад +8

      Definitely pulls off the bear look.

    • @thekornreeper
      @thekornreeper 4 года назад +5

      Robin Williams would be proud

    • @bugandrews
      @bugandrews 4 года назад +1

      100% relatable I was about to go tell my girlfriend about it

  • @grfrjiglstan
    @grfrjiglstan 4 года назад +267

    The sad thing is, I can't tell if any of these Raid:Shadow Legends promos are April Fool's jokes or not.

    • @craigkingdon4424
      @craigkingdon4424 4 года назад +17

      Hint: click the link in the description lol

    • @bimbowithadegree420
      @bimbowithadegree420 4 года назад +9

      @@craigkingdon4424 wished it was a link to goatse

    • @bombocrusty4251
      @bombocrusty4251 4 года назад +6

      @@bimbowithadegree420 I am glad it was not

  • @newtpollution
    @newtpollution 4 года назад +85

    I was a history major so I immediately forgot that this was supposed to be an April Fool's joke.

  • @commanderskittles6558
    @commanderskittles6558 4 года назад +290

    Quinton is looking like if The master from classic Doctor Who was a truck driver who reads proper literature instead of porno mags

    • @SeymourDisapproves
      @SeymourDisapproves 4 года назад +20

      Bold of you to assume porno mags can't be proper literature

    • @Quirderph
      @Quirderph 4 года назад +4

      Are you implying that the classic Masters read a lot of porn?

    • @commanderskittles6558
      @commanderskittles6558 4 года назад +4

      no, But he was a furry pimp in survival

    • @Quirderph
      @Quirderph 4 года назад

      @@commanderskittles6558 "I am the Master, and you will obey me!"

    • @maxresdefault_
      @maxresdefault_ 4 года назад

      That is oddly specific, yet accurate

  • @stevenyukabacera160
    @stevenyukabacera160 4 года назад +164

    Getting ghosted by Raid: Shadow Legends.
    Oof.

  • @riotbreaker3506
    @riotbreaker3506 4 года назад +295

    I'm sorry Quinton, but I can't watch anything this many Sargons long

  • @FauxParagon
    @FauxParagon 4 года назад +52

    i know the last part was supposed to be inane rambling but i legitimately couldnt focus during that time.... dang dude..... the fuzz, the JUICE, quinton really said bear rights

  • @maisie3344
    @maisie3344 4 года назад +206

    Now you’re gonna tell me that Sargon of Akkad is the final boss of Raid Shadow Legends

    • @MiloKuroshiro
      @MiloKuroshiro 4 года назад +4

      No, but maybe in Fate Grand Order?

    • @smjaiteh
      @smjaiteh 4 года назад +7

      MrBowser The Virgin Sargon of Akkad vs the Chad Gilgamesh.

  • @HeSheXie
    @HeSheXie 4 года назад +38

    Ugh, saying that Sargon's biography was the greatest cliffhanger is a hot take. The red fox and the desert from Gilgamesh, anybody?

  • @eggsbox
    @eggsbox 4 года назад +74

    I know that this is an April Fools' Day joke but I would actually LOVE to see more traditional history videos from you. You do them really well!
    EDIT: Oh never mind I just hit 6:07

  • @krlosz1996
    @krlosz1996 4 года назад +74

    Quinton: *takes off shirt*
    Me: oh no he's hot

  • @sticks4632
    @sticks4632 4 года назад +763

    This series is called fallen titains and you havent even talked about cronus yet smh.

    • @GreaterSeraph
      @GreaterSeraph 4 года назад +23

      Ouranos is superior.

    • @Odinsday
      @Odinsday 4 года назад +9

      Not as bad as Uranus.

    • @sticks4632
      @sticks4632 4 года назад +10

      @@GreaterSeraph but hes a celestial not a titan

    • @GreaterSeraph
      @GreaterSeraph 4 года назад

      I mean, it's definitely likely that Age of Mythology lied to me. 🤣
      Doesn't stop it from being a solid game though.

    • @Evelyn_Richardson
      @Evelyn_Richardson 4 года назад +3

      @@GreaterSeraph Ouranos are very sensitive.

  • @Ghostkidparadise
    @Ghostkidparadise 4 года назад +33

    Watching Quinton go on a rant at the very end about raid shadow legends while drunk is an experience with in its self

  • @soopercheese2872
    @soopercheese2872 4 года назад +198

    Me: is watching video
    is confused
    Looks at calendar
    "Ah, that makes more sense."

  • @wakawakatakeover
    @wakawakatakeover 4 года назад +18

    Oh my God. There was no way I could have seen that ending coming. This video from start to finish is just... Perfect. Amazing. Incredible. I love it. I would unironically watch this again because it's fantastic! I would absolutely listen to you talk about history again. This video is just... Magnificent!

  • @mollistuff
    @mollistuff 4 года назад +278

    Not gonna lie, you're doing more for Raid Shadow Legends than any of those guys that actually get paid

    • @escabasket153
      @escabasket153 4 года назад +4

      I’m sure he’s still getting paid lol

    • @mollistuff
      @mollistuff 4 года назад +29

      @@escabasket153 He would deserve it. But even his affiliate link is fake, so I don't know.

    • @pgakt
      @pgakt 4 года назад +22

      Nexcion153 Dude it’s an April Fools, it links to his Patreon

  • @micahfoley9572
    @micahfoley9572 2 года назад +4

    "He pissed himself like a lion"
    i have no idea how to take that.

  • @tylercoburn5336
    @tylercoburn5336 4 года назад +422

    I think the worst part of this is how you pronounce “pus”

  • @MyoticTesseract
    @MyoticTesseract 4 года назад +50

    I think I actually cried watching this, thank you Quinton.
    Especially for the fan service at 24:54 goddamn 😍😍

  • @CardHeroes
    @CardHeroes 4 года назад +181

    This is a fantastic April fool's joke. In fact it's so wholesome and pure that it's the only joke allowed to be made today. No more April fool's jokes after this one.

  • @beeniobag
    @beeniobag 4 года назад +23

    It's like Quinton made homework for himself to do

  • @IsaacMayerCreativeWorks
    @IsaacMayerCreativeWorks 4 года назад +57

    6:07
    In West Azupiranu, born not raised,
    in the palace was where I spent most of my days
    My mother was a priestess, my father I knew not,
    The brothers of my father loved the hills a lot.
    It was my mom's secret to have a kid
    So she put me in a basket and glued on the lid
    And chose the nearest town to have me delivered
    But instead of UPS I was yeeted in a river.
    I got found by Akki, he was the drawer of water,
    Took me under his wing and now I call him a father
    I tended to his gardens since I made it this far,
    He said, You're gonna be visited by the goddess Ishtar
    ...
    ...
    Sit on my throne as the king of Akkad
    *If you make a recording of that with a backing track I will pay to buy it*

    • @viscountrainbows6452
      @viscountrainbows6452 4 года назад +4

      WHAT THE FUCK👏🏿😤👏🏿

    • @unstoppableExodia
      @unstoppableExodia 4 года назад +1

      100% if someone could take that reading and put it to the instrumental of the fresh prince theme that would be greatly appreciated
      Also thanks for the time stamp

  • @alison4051
    @alison4051 4 года назад +9

    I really missed the joke here. First, I didn't see the April fools until halfway through the video, and even then had no idea about the dude from Swindon with the same name.

  • @canles
    @canles 4 года назад +64

    Took me too long to realize you were actually talking about Sargon of Akkad, not Swindon. GG. Top tier April fools joke.

  • @moonshine588
    @moonshine588 4 года назад +7

    “I was YEETED in a river”, nice translation

  • @major_tom_
    @major_tom_ 4 года назад +162

    *checks clock* oh right, its that time of year again

    • @JD-yq1ht
      @JD-yq1ht 4 года назад

      He uploaded two days ago

    • @cammyman32
      @cammyman32 4 года назад

      Major Tom oh my gosh

    • @sourgreendolly7685
      @sourgreendolly7685 4 года назад

      Jon Walworth Patreon gets early access, it was intended for public release today

  • @psychedelicfeline6164
    @psychedelicfeline6164 4 года назад +6

    Since January I’ve fought cancer, and lost a kitten. Thank you for some cathartic release via your Raid Shadow Legends rant.

  • @lirvine5461
    @lirvine5461 4 года назад +209

    Uh oh, the comment section is gonna be fun today...

    • @EmeraldEmsiron
      @EmeraldEmsiron 4 года назад +8

      honestly, too many "omg its april fools" comments, could be better

    • @Flowtail
      @Flowtail 4 года назад +1

      EMS Soul Knight itll probably disintegrate at some point

  • @tabbygale5430
    @tabbygale5430 4 года назад +27

    Uh-oh. We're in danger.
    EDIT: Nevermind, we're very very safe.

  • @BenRigney480
    @BenRigney480 4 года назад +148

    Me: Knows he's talking about the historical figure, bc April Fools.
    Also me: *still watches*

  • @pelinalwhitestrake9306
    @pelinalwhitestrake9306 4 года назад +13

    Ahh yes, Sargon of Akkad, the main antagonist of The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008) starring Michael Copon.

  • @OutFall4
    @OutFall4 4 года назад +109

    It took me 4 minutes to realize it was April 1st.

    • @declanbrowne3944
      @declanbrowne3944 4 года назад +7

      This worked SO perfectly because of the banning of April fools in some countries and the fact that all of our sense of time and dates is so warped.

    • @MyoticTesseract
      @MyoticTesseract 4 года назад +1

      It took me less than a couple seconds when he said Raid Shadow Legends tbh

    • @RevOptimism
      @RevOptimism 4 года назад

      That’s exactly one Sargon long!

  • @elvellarambles9151
    @elvellarambles9151 4 года назад +2

    I entirely love every single thing about this video. From the Raid Shadow Legends ad reads, to the bait-and-switch with the Sargon of Akkad figure, to the insightful discussion of historiography difficulties, to the Fresh Prince reference, to Quinton's delivery. It's the best April Fool's present I could have asked for.

  • @goldengolem4670
    @goldengolem4670 4 года назад +56

    2:35 *And it was at this point i realized: AH YES PERFECTION.*

  • @smbcollector
    @smbcollector 4 года назад +14

    First Steve from Blues Clues leaves you, and now Raid: Shadow Legends leaves you. My condolences, Quinton.

  • @canaryimpulse989
    @canaryimpulse989 4 года назад +143

    "cheap, ugly, deadening, lacking even the common decency to be unintentionally funny, [the] sheer ineptitude increas[ing] with each passing scene."
    Yep, sounds like Sargon.

  • @alfredosanchez170
    @alfredosanchez170 4 года назад +8

    Honestly, Quinton in that last bit is a whole ass mood. This quarantine has me feeling the same- ashamed, proud, aroused, but mostly sad and alone.

  • @wj11jam78
    @wj11jam78 4 года назад +46

    What if people thousands of years in the future find this video and take it all as true, since most of the falsities and irony takes a very niche modern context to understand.

    • @50l50l50Productions
      @50l50l50Productions 4 года назад +2

      Furthermore, what if the story of the original Sargon is based on some context of it's time that we lack and history has failed us?

  • @sycastells1212
    @sycastells1212 4 года назад +8

    Shirtless, drunk, belching Quinton is exactly what I needed today. Thank you.

  • @Mitchellfw
    @Mitchellfw 4 года назад +54

    My spouse just looked over my shoulder and asked me why a cub is screaming about a mobile game. I made him watch the entire video with me, and we both laughed a lot. This was a good video, we really enjoyed it. :)

    • @tomstanford5045
      @tomstanford5045 2 года назад +1

      It's a crime that I scrolled this far to find the bears

    • @yourlittleinsomniac5369
      @yourlittleinsomniac5369 Год назад

      I was really confused by this comment until the video got absolutely derailed onto that topic and now I'm just in tears and can't stop 😂😂😂

  • @knofear8859
    @knofear8859 4 года назад +20

    Huh, I never realized that the guy playing Quinton was Hugh Jackman circa 2000 all along.

  • @dylanvickers7953
    @dylanvickers7953 4 года назад +45

    I know this is supposed to be an April Fool’s joke but I honestly really enjoyed it.

  • @JyujinPlus
    @JyujinPlus 4 года назад +10

    The fresh Sargon rap really makes me want a Hamilton Style musical about Sargon of Akkad

  • @doug.navarone2037
    @doug.navarone2037 4 года назад +71

    "When legend becomes fact, print the legend"-The Man who Shot Liberty Vance

    • @crypticmedicine
      @crypticmedicine 4 года назад

      You need this song right now: ruclips.net/video/PhsZkPlMQk8/видео.html

  • @darklsn
    @darklsn 4 года назад +11

    Quinton I'm both terrified and also incredibly impressed with that tummy fuzz you got goin'. Keep doin' you bubby

  • @MadeleineSwannSurreal
    @MadeleineSwannSurreal 4 года назад +122

    Genuinely interested in this, shame his name had to be attached to a pranny from Swindon

  • @abandonedchannel281
    @abandonedchannel281 4 года назад +16

    Sargon Of Akkad, or “The Boomer of Babylon”

  • @scrumblesbumbles7692
    @scrumblesbumbles7692 4 года назад +25

    Quinton is so hairy I legitamately thought he was wearing an undershirt for a second when he was taking his shirt off.

  • @Persivefire
    @Persivefire 9 месяцев назад +1

    Revisiting this video again after a while, and I've got to say, and this may just be because I have been binging history videos on the ancient near east and because Carl has completely been wiped from my mind, but I saw the title and thumbnail and straight up went "holy shit, he does history now?". Like I forgot that I had already watched the video, and since back then Carl was still someone I remembered, I had been fooled the intended way then. So basically, I was fooled once, forgot about the video and its content, got deep into history, saw the video thumbnail, got excited, clicked, went to the comments, saw that it was an April Fools video, and then everything came back. And as of when I'm typing this, it is April 1st, 2024.
    P.S. A quick sidenote, Lugal means King/Ruler in the Sumerian language, so basically Lugalzagesi is King Zagesi

  • @queenbench3114
    @queenbench3114 4 года назад +11

    never again will I have body hair dysphoria, thank you Quinton

  • @sebasmusician736
    @sebasmusician736 4 года назад +7

    "Inteast of UPS I was yeeted on the river" absolute poetry

  • @veryregular
    @veryregular 4 года назад +10

    Quinton tweeted out yesterday that he didn't know what to do for April Fools... Did- did he actually write, film, and edit this whole masterpiece in just one day? Because that's pretty damn impressive.

  • @ImRiese
    @ImRiese 4 года назад +6

    I know this is an old video but I have been binging all of your videos and no other RUclips makes me actually laugh out loud like you and your videos. Thank you so much for everything you are. You are amazing!

  • @mollistuff
    @mollistuff 4 года назад +43

    The only channel where I get hyped for the Raid Shadow Legends adverts

    • @smjaiteh
      @smjaiteh 4 года назад +2

      This and Internet Historian.

    • @nicholasleclerc1583
      @nicholasleclerc1583 4 года назад +1

      What about _Internet Historian_ ?

    • @pgakt
      @pgakt 4 года назад

      I don’t think it’s a real sponsorship

  • @eruditootidure2611
    @eruditootidure2611 4 года назад +3

    Oh wow, Quinton's obviously a bear but good lord that body hair took me by surprise, truly transcendent

  • @C4Cintron
    @C4Cintron 4 года назад +18

    A great April Fools joke would've been to actually make a 28 minute ad for Raid Shadow Legends

  • @LimeyLassen
    @LimeyLassen 4 года назад +3

    I love how this video is first in the Chronological playlist

  • @Alex-cw3rz
    @Alex-cw3rz 4 года назад +40

    I knew this had to be about the real Sargon of Akkad as Carl of Swindon certainly isn't a titan.

  • @the88mph
    @the88mph 4 года назад +5

    As a lover of ancient history, i got so damn excited when i realized this wasn't about that other guy.

  • @nepwrath
    @nepwrath 4 года назад +23

    Now this is what I need in an April Fools joke

  • @aleciswatching9398
    @aleciswatching9398 4 года назад +7

    Quinton I am literally dying. Quinton. Quinton. You're killing me.

  • @lemuntpicard7482
    @lemuntpicard7482 4 года назад +12

    That was a masterfully classy clickbait.
    Shall i even add you're ''Master Baiting'' us!

  • @AvrilAlvarez
    @AvrilAlvarez 3 года назад +11

    Damn sargon of akkad really fell off. he started as a ruler of an empire. Thousands of years later his empire is gone and now his only territory is his apartment in Britain where he makes terrible political videos

  • @Lore_from_Stars
    @Lore_from_Stars 4 года назад +13

    wait, you don't know?
    dude, Sargon was reincarnated in 1979.
    Kinda doesn't live up to his legend, tho.

  • @danieletarabini494
    @danieletarabini494 4 года назад +23

    Ok, first, i wasn't ready for shirtless Quinton.
    Second, I wasn't ready for the genesis of Evil Quinton.
    Also, Quincy my boy you should start training as a professional strongman.

  • @NatetheNerdy
    @NatetheNerdy 4 года назад +6

    I love this video almost as much as I love my first edition copy of the Epic of Gilgamesh.

  • @rnrteg
    @rnrteg 4 года назад +2

    I LOL'd out loud and was rofling on the floor laughing when you threw that Carl Benjamin quote into your history of Sargon of Akkad

  • @littlebearoverlook
    @littlebearoverlook 4 года назад +7

    Quinton can look like 4 different men all within the same year

  • @nanchoparty
    @nanchoparty 4 года назад +6

    Quinton makes me feel better about being a hairy dude tbh... Thank you, Quinton.

  • @Chord_
    @Chord_ 4 года назад +7

    9:40 That David Lynch line got me