when people show you who they are

[@LaytonObserves]

The ultimate way to not get ghosted is to not message anyone until you die alone and _become the ghost._
Can't ghost a ghost.

[@winterwraith8339]

Fax

[@purplewalls261]

Only the truth

[@adsstories4911]

Drop the mic. 👻.

[@littleal14]

Until you are spooking a cute girl on a ouija board and then she just stops calling back to you all the sudden but you catch her sneaking out to visit the cute neighbor at night.

[@meeeeehfucklogic]

Amen.

[@aspeltaofkush3540]

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
- Maya Angelou

[@RobbieBackpacking]

"Boo"
"You can't call me that until you commit" haha

[@Dave-iz6lh]

Haha ikr I love it when Anna makes these small but witty puns

[@RobbieBackpacking]

@@Dave-iz6lh agreed it was pretty punny

[@gretagarner2721]

Robbie Backpacking HAHAHAHAHAHAH

[@Japanthewoman]

🤣🤣🤣

[@koshersalaami]

I loved that

[@zoenorth2073]

“You don’t give someone a pebble unless you’re serious” -Anna Akana 2018

[@Rikeilan]

*you're but yes :P

[@volpenvieh]

If a male penguin is interested in a female he searches for the perfect pebble (small stone) and presents it as a gift to his love interest. If the female accepts the proposal she places the pebble in her nest and they'll soon make little baby penguins \o/

[@zoenorth2073]

Rikeilan Sorry

[@Rikeilan]

No worries ^^

[@melloroful]

@Prokyon114 haha, you're not alone - - English is my first language, and even I don't understand what the hell that means!!

[@bittersweet3925]

If you ask about their life, and they never ask about yours, they’re wasting your time probably.

[@awakenow7147]

Literally one of the biggest red flags.

[@snowflake8629]

Or if they ask about your life and never talk about their own as in avoid questions/give vague answers

[@ChasityAdaway]

A big red flag 🚩

[@ephapax1]

Bitter Sweet so effing true

[@alexfowler9785]

Experienced this a lot in the past. I avoid people like that from now on. Wastes less time that way.

[@ClaraLassen]

Honestly it's like Anna knows what and when things happen in my life... :((

[@MrJimbokerns]

whatever you do; do not look out the window.

[@Lickmytoe]

S A M E

[@TheKratos646]

Same sadly

[@marahabd2012]

I’m sorry this happened to you, hope it gets better ❤️

[@FAPerez-jr7if]

saaaame it’s kinda nice tho

[@RobbieBackpacking]

Don't take it personally Anna, you probably dodged a bullet. People who ghost others are usually dealing with their own messed up insecurities (in my experience.)

[@blank3115]

Robbie Backpacking yesssss

[@GoldGollum]

And what if... it's the opposite ? The person that ghost her saw something off about her and dodge a bullit. She's speaking about "her truth" and what about his ?

[@yega3k]

GoldGollum If it’s the opposite, the “ghost” would grow some balls and actually end things respectfully. If you can’t have an honest conversation about what you want (or don’t want) out of something, you’re definitely the one with the problem.

[@yega3k]

GoldGollum yup, goes for both boys and girls. And by ghosting, I think you mean disappearing permanently, which is still a lot less confusing than sticking around and giving out little clues forcing the “ghostee” to have to figure out your pattern on their own.

[@justmart4455]

Don't call me out like this

[@Enigmatism415]

People need to be taught to have the courage to be honest. 'I find you attractive enough for casual sex, but not enough to invest my emotions or make an exclusive commitment'. Anyone with a fragile enough ego will get upset, but it's worth the courtesy of honesty. 'Ghosting' is lazy and cowardly, like 'I don't respect you enough as a human to acknowledge that you exist any longer'.

[@xkavarsmith9322]

I agree. If we don't click, we don't click. But at least tell me we don't. And if not to my face, then a phone call. I respect that.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

This is something I agree with, but I also know people that think this type of honesty hurts peoples feelings(they don't think of the pain that would come in the future but only the pain they feel in the moment) and that this is an indirect accusation on affection.
It's like saying, that you know they're attracted to you and you don't want the to become clingy.
So there's something here about what you personally consider more stressful.
Personally I do the first one and warn people of who I am so they can make decisions for themselves, but then there's always someone who thinks I'm self centred.

[@Enigmatism415]

It does often hurt people's feelings, but not in the sense of one person attacking another, but rather one person revealing what the other person knows deep down to be true, and the truth hurts.

[@Boezied]

I agree but some people choose not to be honest and take a risk doing something that they think they can get benefits out of. Too many people play the game but not in a civilized way and sometimes take advantage of someone even if it's not intentional and this isnt even limited to relationships and dating. With the internet nowadays It's honestly sad to see how so many people can be morally bankrupt and not feel a thing about it.

[@Enigmatism415]

The truth is the truth, and that truth includes people indexing commitment on attraction as the primary metric. The alternative is lies, which is disrespectful. It would be worse to commit and eventually choose someone else.

[@bluesun2001]

Got ghosted?
1) stop texting/ calling/ crying/ begging them
2) focus on your life/ career/ business/ family/on fixing your body
3) ignore them when the ghoster comes back
Peace

[@NRX25]

If the "ghost" comes back, you probably misjudged the whole thing big time. So it's probably good for him/her to really cut you out.

[@kupidrosalindavateri3965]

NRX25 how could the situation be misjudged?

[@beforethedawn2701]

@@NRX25 That's not always true. There are people who only talk to you when they want something from you and ghost you after they got what they want, only to come back when they need you again

[@jasongates-]

"Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior."
That line has a point, but it does not leave open the possibility of the person being able to change.

[@ChristopherCricketWallace]

I agree. I'm not the man I was 10 years ago. I'm not the man I was 10 days ago. People do grow up, mature, and improve. The people in our lives are also part of that . We daters need allow folks to make mistakes, admit to them, and learn. I wish we all could be a little more empathetic to the human condition and or many many flaws.

[@123123lollero]

Past behavior is only the best, not perfect, predictor. If you need to guess what somebody's going to do next, it's safer to assume they act the same way as before, because new patterns are way too hard to guess.

[@GumbyTheGreen1]

That's the point Jason. Only fools expect someone to change and only lunatics expect them to change in a particular way. If you don't like what you see right now, move on! Don't waste your life waiting to win the lottery.

[@redspin2ify]

@@GumbyTheGreen1 change doesn't imply only positive. It can be a good person changing bad as well... So please be a little bit more open minded.

[@GumbyTheGreen1]

redspin2ify, Of course people can change in negative ways - that doesn't refute my point. The point is that someone who has behaved well in the past is much more likely (but not guaranteed) to behave well in the future than someone who hasn't.

[@soundlyawake]

idk I thought I was being transparent

[@deaaaazz]

Dat jawline can crack walnuts

[@josedimas8620]

djvallfor2 dude I’m saying

[@kuroyukikazekanade7557]

Well, you cracked up my dull day for sure.

[@deaaaazz]

Kuroyukikaze Kanade my pleasure sir. But her jawline is so 😍😍

[@prettyipe9510]

😂

[@spitzkopf2128]

Someone tell her to crack my walnuts

[@tallasianchick]

You JUST got ghosted!? Girl, you're very lucky if this is the first time!

[@winterwraith8339]

I ghost all

[@Basementjacks]

I got ghosted so many times in my life that i can't count anymore, If its was her first time she's VERY VERY lucky.

[@anenemystanduser3539]

My thoughts exactly! Very lucky

[@charlessaftner4208]

Yea, no kidding. About a third of all girls I meet end up doing this. Maybe an east-coast thing, not sure and not caring much anymore. Dating use to be about getting to know somebody and connecting. Now its more like shopping on Amazon and returning unwanted things with a pre-printed shipping label. Only missing element is a 1-5 star rating system.

[@ofekharary3175]

Well, she *is* Anna F. Akana. If she was a real person in my life, I'd grab her and never ever let her go.

[@lisaistyping]

Dear Anna Akana
I realize there is a high probability that you'll never read this, but it still needed to be said.
Ive been binging your old and new videos and they've been making me laugh for the past week even though i feel like my depression has taken over completely. You are a light in this difficult time.
I've finally let myself become inspired to workout, write and go to a therapist again.
Thank you for all you do and stand for. It's an amazing way of life and you deserve the best in everything.
Love,
A new fan
xoxo

[@khadijakolsawala9323]

Stay strong dear. everything will be fine.🌹

[@sonnenblume2720]

💪❤️

[@avidian888]

Ghosting is the worst thing that became normal. Make ghosting unacceptable again!

[@OmniscientlyMe]

Hate to break it to you, this was normal before it was called ghosting. Seems to get a new name every 20 years or so.

[@DrJive770]

Yeah they added it to the official Webster dictionary along with “selfie” and other pop culture terms. This unfortunately just makes people think it’s acceptable behavior.

[@AznSL]

@@OmniscientlyMe Agreed, but it's probably happening a lot more now that smart phones allow us to connect with so many people in a short period of time.

[@ThoughtProvokingVlogs]

"Don't judge them on their actions, judge them on their patterns."

[@SiSi-oi2or]

Mm interesting

[@madeleinemoreland277]

I think it's good to observe patterns before getting in relationships, but tbh my partner has helped me break unhealthy habits that I'd been doing for years in a matter of months. My patterns are now completely different from before we got together, and I'm grateful he took a chance and I am now so much better and happier.

[@Shadowfoxx5]

I was originally going to respond because the fox pic was dah best, but that comment is truly commendable. #improve.

[@threeone6012]

When someone tells you "I'm an asshole," believe them. They aren't lying.

[@PatriciaHuffman]

that art wall is just magical

[@joyevolstah770]

Ok so this happened the other day and I didnt know what to do it literally relating to everything she's saying wow

[@jeffunknown9927]

Joy Evolstah I’ve been there. I’m sorry this happened to you. Just know this isn’t an issue with you, it’s them. My first thought is usually trying to figure out what I did wrong. Don’t go there.

[@melloroful]

Whaaat...??

[@ErinJanus]

I literally just saw this today on the home page and then literally got ghosted tonight. ugh, Anna.

[@nillawaferr]

this is so important. patterns are the one of the most vital things that tell you about a person. do they constantly flake on plans? do they rant to you but never listen when you want to talk to them? do they consistently treat you like your time isn't valuable? pay attention to these things. it matters.

[@emilyannmckelvey]

Where did you get those glasses Anna? They’re fabulous.

[@daniellehartig9685]

Warby Parker!

[@emilyannmckelvey]

Thank you!

[@TheGirlSkateBoardCo]

Rite-Aid in the pre-made prescription glasses section.

[@annie18lovessoRock]

@@daniellehartig9685 do you happen to know the reference?

[@daniellehartig9685]

The frame is called the Blair! Very shiny, very popular, VERY cute :)

[@noire1oo4]

Seriously needed this. After you mentioned observing patterns, it clicked. He did it before in other ways throughout his life.

[@annap8824]

Lol the ghosts in Pacman gave me anxiety too

[@smokego123]

I’m in a deeper pain right now. I got ghosted whilst in a relationship without even a goodbye or closure. It’s been 6 months and I’m still recovering😔

[@infinitespiral6758]

Hope you're doing better now. F

[@astolat2262]

❤️

[@alyssalidman5123]

I absolutely love the pop psychology in your videos. :) Wonderful advice. I'm always a fan.

[@GeorgeNoX]

i get ghosted all the time, guess people dont like me much

[@winterwraith8339]

I really dont

[@trinitysingularityzombiech7836]

George NoX get money and nobody will ghost you.

[@aonairskies]

Same

[@astolat2262]

❤️

[@rea_keebz]

I love how you've been not-so-subtly putting Hank's book in your videos because you loved it so much

[@Mochi-kf3it]

People who ghost are cowards

[@snooxe8063]

Hello yes just wanted to say how much I LOVE your profile picture

[@MsZephyra]

Agreed!

[@Mochi-kf3it]

once u jimin u cant jimout thank you❤️❤️

[@trapsarentgaymcgee5202]

t(*o*t)

[@Royal-cr1zq]

Just say you're not interested. No confusion, no hurt... much.

[@chervianator]

You're so relatable that i can't even, people of your like are 1 in 100000. Just look at her patterns, she's doing so well and constantly changing for the better since the =3 days. How is she still single like she literraly almost perfect?

[@HighPhoenix1754]

Some of her traits may scare off potential suitors.
But, she'll find the guy that those very same traits not only attracts, but keeps.
Only a matter of time.

[@DeletusTheClown]

she is single because she has a self worth problem (she mentions this a lot in videos)

[@vildekm]

Anna can I just say how amazing it is that you're working with female animators/artists?? and actually visibly giving them credit wow. love you

[@mehwhyausername1]

Anna @ 29 years old: "I hate ghosts, even more now because I got ghosted for the first time"
every guy ever: welcome to the club. make yourself at home.

[@NightOfCrystals]

mehwhyausername1 I was going to say... in 2018? Welcome to the club, Anna... super late.

[@lauragueorguieva]

Well in only 3 minutes you given me a super important advice on a problem i've been struggling for year. I cannot thank you enough Anna Akana. PS: you also are one of the reasons I decided to go see a psyichiatrist. thanks again

[@choco_moo]

facts! i used to just jump into friendships and most of them were toxic friendship. I now observe then act and it has given me so many valuable friends who i wouldnt give up for anything

[@CalculusDaddy]

> Be Anna Akana
> Be attractive
> Get ghosted @~30
> Discover a experience of the other 90%.
)':

[@CalculusDaddy]

@Prokyon114 you're probably right, but I'm jealous of her beauty. Plz don't be mad ;-;

[@HeyItsEstefania]

My life.. And then they come back to haunt you 🙅‍♀️🚫

[@marsmoon745]

HeyItsEstefania someone that ghosted me years ago recently came back to haunt me hahah

[@DrJive770]

That’s called “submarining” lol. Look it up. There’s also “breadcrumbimg” lol so lame. People need to stop being douchbagz. I finally found a good girl, but it took way longer than it should have because of all this.

[@flatterdd]

Anna is the best professor! Love you! By the way, I have 8 cats ^^

[@arisunohana]

I got ghosted twice and boy, do I have trust issues now.

[@Nika-yx7mi]

“It’s fine if you don’t want to hang out but answer me just tell me!!” 😆😆😂 most relatable desperation ever

[@gelpy27]

ugh i got ghosted once too, it was horrible. but i realise i do it myself too.

[@LukeAlexander]

“When u get ghosted” a.k.a my life

[@millahrose]

This really helped me. I recently got ghosted by a guy I really liked and it was a really hard time for me because the whole time afterwards I was wondering what I did wrong. It was really painful because he was so nice to me when I was talking to him. He’s now dating one of my close friends and I’ve finally found a way to be happy with myself and them as a couple. It’s difficult to not compare myself to my friend when he chose her over me but this helped me see everything clearly. Thank you!

[@trandrewtran]

Honestly, just found your channel ...
watched the majority of the clips if not all... while at work... no work got done.
You're humor just gets me! The meme game is strong in you!!!
Thanks for the dayful of laughs!

[@snooxe8063]

Is it bad that I've ghosted some people because my social anxiety makes me too scared to respond

[@blueberrymuffin113]

I think this behaviour could hurt people, but personally, I always try to give others the benefit of the doubt (is this how you call it?) and tell myself that I can only assume why they did things that hurt me, that they may struggle with something - for example social anxiety - and that they propably didn't hurt me intentionally.

[@vinigirl3182]

That is exactly me. Not exactly ghosting, but I will wait a couple hours, or a while after the person has gone offline before responding because I'm terrified of them responding while I'm still responding.

[@tiffanybelle6163]

I was just about to go to bed but I don't need sleep when I have Anna

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

''Keep your hopes and expectations low'' these words are very true because sometimes we expect too much. That is why we end up getting hurt and dissapointed.

[@payaljoshi1551]

I relate to you Anna, I pour myself out on the first date as well and it took me a very long time to realize it. So yay to you for helping others realize it as well as to yourself too!

[@aroundthegoodworld]

Love your story telling Anna! You're such a great inspiration for my channel. Keep it up 😀

[@safarihearts_4501]

You never cease to amaze me. Plus you're so cute! Thanks for the great content!!

[@aureaabella6]

im so happy i came back to your videos!!! i used to watch your older short films all the time when they came out!

[@HeatherPin]

So much talent is always packed into these videos from everyone involved. Every time Anna talks about Beth near the end of her videos I do a little fangirl cheer "ooo OOO!"

[@jasongates-]

"I know I'm a ghost, but I promise to be transparent."
(Sighs and bows head)

[@khosmo7097]

The editing on all her vids are highkey aesthetic. Obsessed.

[@ChaosArtist]

This is very true that people show you who they are and where they are at in their lives through their patterns. Observing my own patterns has helped me understand myself better.

[@BaileeGermanotta]

Thanks for these videos recently. My boyfriend took all his stuff and left me before I got home from work a day before we moved into our new house. I find myself overthinking these every single day and have fallen into the worst depression. He’s trying to mend things now but it’s so hard for me to not think of the past

[@Ravenousyouth]

Don't go back

[@EmeliaSings]

"Boo"
"You don't get to call my that until you commit"
I AM DEAD.
Wait does that mean I'm gonna be ghosting now.

[@nastiaj7083]

These glasses are just amazing ^^

[@LancerDL]

Good advice. When you start to get to know someone they're usually on their best behavior. Observing their habits is effective since it's harder to fake breaking them for very long.

[@nellihhffjdcfkfd8753]

I literales just got ghosted and it so annyoing like “IF YOURE NOT INTERESTED JUST TELL ME, I CAN TAKE IT!!!“ ughhhh

[@fernlulham8837]

Me: If ONLY I was super attractive, highly successful and had an amazing personality - THEN I'd never get ghosted...
Thank you, Anna, for debunking this commonly-believed myth! 😊💖 xxx

[@robinleeann]

That's Hank Green's book! SRHGBRHGBEHRG awesomeness. (Available September 25th. Can preorder now!) DFTBA

[@feliciya7152]

Yeeeees. I saw that too 👏👏👏

[@josevillalobos547]

Why are you perfect?? All your videos are so much fun to watch

[@TheBeanHome]

Judgment also shuts down when you’re lonely and desperate for friends... I go all in too. I have decided to just have 0 expectations, it hurts less. Hope I remember that!

[@brittanylau110]

It's like Anna knows when things happen in my life😂

[@ElladaEllada]

I just yesterday got ghosted from a guy that literally was saying me to marry him 3 days ago... i still don't get why
Whatever lol

[@JoelYarbrough]

I like the prints in your entryway and the other rooms we have seen. Solid interior design, Anna.

[@tiffany6578]

Observing pattern is so important!!!!! Can’t be friends with someone that consistently take your friendship for granted.

[@selcukdilek4656]

I'm still thinking about the message and I watched it already 3 times lol.

[@YourGirlSudanny]

Don't think I've ever been ghosted, but now that I'm newly single, I'm anxious about this 🙄lol.. Also, I LOVE the editing in your videos Anna!😍👌

[@aferak145]

The only person that can get me to stay and watch promo ads lol love watching them so creative lol

[@margaretdelong5063]

I don’t think you even know how much I needed this right now gahhhh

[@lilysleeper2783]

Hank Green’s new book, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, comes out September 25th And is available for preorder now!

[@JRoseKatz98]

Omg Nicoli Foti from soundly awake! I missed him! Such a funny RUclipsr!!

[@summahthevegan3796]

I so love you and your content. You're so real.
You talk about mental health, life issues and cats and I love that.

[@yugoxgc]

3:04 I feel ya girl. It takes a while to find somebody so When I do Im all in dedicted & in denile once things get a bit off

[@graciehart6779]

My best friend is ghosting me. We were inseparable for 6 years. It hurts so bad.
And it's not her patterns. We were really always there for each other. I don't get it. I just don't.

[@innanaai1451]

Stay strong. 😘

[@graciehart6779]

Yohan Inj Thank you❤️ I'm trying

[@joannakowalska9247]

Try after 15

[@graciehart6779]

Joanna Kowalski I am 15 lol

[@steephaniieeeee]

my best friend was sorta ghosting me a couple years outta high school after being friends for 10 years. we texted addressing the issue but now we dont talk anymore at all

[@danakanafina3615]

I love your work, but i just noticed
Anna Akana: I hate everything related to ghosts
Also Anna Akana: * literally names her fashion line GHOSTandstars*
😂😂😂

[@shoshweetpanda]

Oh man. I definitely needed this. I also go all in when I'm interested in someone and... oh boy... Lol.

[@kookiefly]

1:25 🤯 actually makes sense. Never thought of it that way before.

[@HeyThere005]

I love Nicola :)

[@DeepShadedGlassesGuy]

Wow that thing about the brain is really something 😮
Also sorry ya got ghosted
Also also 2:54-3:04 big same

[@aarondonaldson5248]

Only four videos watched and I love this woman!

[@Schmalicious]

Collabs like this are like a food combination of 2 of your most beloved things to eat which you’d never thought of & then somebody makes you dinner and it’s the most perfect thing you’ve eaten in months.

[@simplymaci]

I love your glasses! 😍 Where did you get them??

[@goldfishcrayon]

Gotta find someone worth the brain shut down and can make it past the rose colored glasses phase. Don't stress over ghosts, they're not worth it!

[@jiyeonlee5452]

Your videos are the most comforting

[@abe2935]

I think I'm guilty of ghosting people... I don't know. Definitely something to think about and improve upon in my life. ✌️🙂❤️

[@bloodyangel1]

I don't have to worry about being ghosted because women don't even notice that I exist. Maybe I'm a ghost?

[@undersiege3402]

not sure why but i often get involved with manipulative people that i cannot let my guard down (even on dreams) i just let them do their play and see how far they would go then ghost away, else there is no way to deal with this kind of people

[@aka.aidadiop]

same here : a perfect bate for psychic predators. ghosting them is the only way out.

[@aka.aidadiop]

(about nightmares : let's listen to our precious psyche 🌼)

[@awakenow7147]

Some people need to be ghosted. These people include Pathological Narcissists who are basically not operating like normal humans. If we encounter someone who can be identified as a Narcissist, it would behoove us to do anything we need to do to escape.

[@bellabozied7303]

I love this message and the amazing effects of the ghost!

[@jhh-jiynks6568]

Ohhh gees.. anna and
glasses =perfect

[@gabimondamo]

what patterns? what do you mean by patterns. can anyone give me an example??
thanks!

[@Luminary45]

Gabi von mondamo The little things that a person does and everyone have different patterns they follow. Basically little habits that people do whether they notice or don't notice.

[@MelodyLunaMusic]

Why did I just get the notifaction like 24 hours later

[@SierraOutLoud]

Melody Luna same! 🤔

[@yuirick]

I find analyzing intents and patterns to be more valuable than analyzing actions and words, although the two are connected.

[@MusiicRoolz]

my frontal lobe is constantly active being an infj. it's hard for me to be blinded by stuff and i'm always looking for patterns in people, and trying to predict the future. it's a blessing and a curse, it's nice to just live in the moment sometimes

[@mcery1]

What if I'm the one who ghosts people all the time?
Plz hlp...

[@z9elka]

Saaame

[@rea8585]

Damn! You're basically saying that brains are involved in the men-trying-to-get-laid-and-never-call-women-back conspiracy!

[@sleepingkirby]

I like to think that Anna's friends really are just variants of her like in the videos. And that, somewhere in LA, there's a group of Anna Akana's walking around having fun.

[@ciyborg]

people who ghost are gutless and lack courage, count it as a blessing that you didnt end up with a person like that