Woo dissociated responses for the win! Or, something. Ahem. Me too. I also drew etc. but the daydreaming part and also not remembering the worst of it is the main thing that got me through. Not to mention just generally resilient brain. I suspect I'm unusually high.on seratonin production.
I thought I’d use music to help the trauma. The silver lining is I’ve now got a piano performance degree, multiple records out including an EP, can sing, 10 years of drumming experience, bass playing, and recording producing and mixing. And there’s still more trauma 😂
Hi, trauma will not pass by itself without therapies and 12 step programs but music can definitely help. There is a lot of bilateral music for trauma to be listened to on headphones when you get triggered, are anxious or get panick attacks. My EMDR therapist recommend it to me and it has been a great support in the healing process.
@@Ewa19750928 I’m talking about writing music, which I kinda treat like talking to a therapist, just in music instead of English. It’s complicated but it works for me.
nine inch nails. and dissociative day/night dreaming. I have lived so many lives all in my head... then i left when I could. turns out I headed into a downward spiral. now, here I am.
Sing sing sing SCREAM sing sing SCREAM sing sing draw Ralph Steadman-esque portrait of my parents and include that artwork in my final senior year portfolio at high school 😁
Writing. I used to play music, but I had to quit because I was making too much racket apparently. Writing was a quiet activity I could do in my bedroom cowering with headphones on to drown out the screaming. During my teenage years I was obsessed with the Beatles and John Lennon. The Beatles accompanied me throughout those awful years. Writing is the only thing that brings me joy and that I've really ever been good at doing. Writing was my therapy and escape. It still is. Cheers, Patrick. Very nice drumming. I enjoy seeing how talented you are.
MUSIC for sure and especially going out with my best friend on saturdays DANCING through the night. Thank you for reminding us, Patrick! Love 💕 from Germany
When I was a kid, it was fantazing. Or I'd go into a zombie state where I'd sit on my bed staring at the floor. But #1 was food. It got/still gets me through it. Except with this one, I ruined my body inside and out.
The Stone Roses, when I was briefly hospitalized in the winter of '92 at a private facility that my parents' insurance afforded them, after my 'breakdown'. I was left alone, for the most part, in what was basically a hotel room, except you couldn't lock the door to the corridor or the bathroom. I left 3 weeks later, considerably worse, with cabin fever from the confinement and neglect, disorientated and pumped full of their nasty drugs (I'll never know what.) I would lie on my bed listening to that band on my Walkman, looking forward to getting back to home to my records, and my 'normal'- as hellish as it was. Good drumming, Patrick. Great song, too!
Singing got me through. Oh the hours I’d spend locked in my room with my boombox, a mic and my voice 🤍 to this day, if I let the tension build up, the only way I know to release it is to sing.
This is so cathartic to watch. Thank you for sharing your talent and skill here with us. We weren't allowed outlets like this. People pleasing and hard work, even if it meant doing other people's jobs, was what saved me. Still working to undo that tendency. I secretly wished I could be a violinist and drummer.
I played drums for years and then lost interest in drums but not in the music. I thought about it and think about the noise I made on the drums was like the noise and the rage going on in my head. I didn’t know about feelings then and I had no way to express what would just come up in my brain as rage would surface and got on my drums, I believe, to express my rage and to drown out my own noise and feelings. I would play to exhaustion and until my ears were ringing. I believe that I was trying to drown out what was coming up as traumatic memories and the feelings this raised - feelings I hadn’t processed, feelings I yet did not know how to identify and define, and the feelings of me in the present about why I had these memories and why did I have to deal with them - as life was difficult enough. I hear what you’re saying, Patrick.
Books. Lots and lots and lots of books. And then in healing, I got back into reading and devouring books and info on trauma that have helped me so much. My shame has gone down so much bc now I understand what I endured and how it effected and affected me better.
Besides daydreaming or playing by myself, I used to draw and write a lot. I’ve always found creative outlets and they helped me a lot in the middle of all the dysfunction and chaos. Writing has been especially helpful for me over the years, thankfully.
Acting, playing my flute in band, and playing softball. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of these things if it weren’t for my aunt (who took my cousin to the same extra-curricular activities) or my friend’s parents who also drove me back and forth to practices and performances. I have put myself down my whole life so I can say this now…I was really good at these things but a great actress! I got the leads in all the plays I auditioned for from 4th grade and when I finally went to college. Acting and the theatre were my favorite, though. I loved the idea of becoming someone else in a role. I could totally escape myself and my life. I really got into that. I also got into listening to music as much as possible. On the darker side what helped me get through it was substance abuse that I started at 15. Of course that ended up making it all worse but it was an escape for a while. The saddest thing, though (and I’m wondering if anyone else did this too…) was from age 7, I would have suicide fantasies. I would pray for God to kill me, too. I would create a whole plan in my head. For some reason this would help me cope when I was alone in my room or couldn’t sleep at night because all of the adults were up partying too loudly and wasted. Weird, right? Unfortunately, true. My therapist says it’s not too far out considering what I was going through. I never actually attempted it, thank God! This survival strategy dissipated at 17 when I moved out of state. So, good and bad things both got me through it.
Music, nature, and friends. Oh, and my Grandmother! I always thought of her as my saving grace. She loved, and nurtured me. I think she kinda knew, as before she died, she told me she had been sexually abused by her father as a young girl. She wanted someone to know she said. She was my angel.
Mega Man Star Force 3. I remember when I couldn’t go to school and I BARELY if ever played video games because I was so dysregulated I’d just stare at the wall or listen to music (this was also an important one for me) but man. I booted it up and man… it saved my life no joke. Ironically the game is about loss, finding hope finding friendships. It was my light that shined ever so bright in my all encompassing darkness.
dang you are great at that.. hm i listened to music a lot, but like really old fashioned music.. really soft gentle music, the exact opposite of what my peers would often listen to, Simon and Garfunkel type things. and nature.. i went out in nature and thought that the plants loved me, and imagined the love I needed emanating from the nature world for me. later as a teenager I heard the song to make you feel my love, covered by Garth Brooks but i ended up turning the love towards myself and I figured that when my mother was super harsh and strict on me I would instead be soft and gentle to myself.
Best thing was high school and after school activities. I joined everything, didnt go home until late. friends, long bikerides,the arts, my first job at 16.
I also think I was carried through it with music. My angel is a rock star watching over me. Have you ever noticed that right after some escalation something will play on some device and it perfectly narrates your emotional reality that nobody can talk about. It's coming through the airwaves like God sees you and incidentally there's a song about that.
I went down the MMO rabbit hole to escape, but pretty much anything related to computers and electronics helped me keep my distance from my dad: it was a world of my own, and specifically one my dad could never navigate.
Books! I could escape so deeply into stories my family would have to come over and shake my arm to get my attention. Even then, they'd have to give me a couple extra seconds because I'd still be in another world. I don't escape as deeply anymore as an adult, and it's only recently that I've realized it's because I don't need to.
Dancing, singing, music, moody blues, sport, tennis, basketball, art. I started putting weight when I was in primary school and my mum took me to little athletics.
God the Creator, books, being active, out in nature, lakes, swimming, gardening and never giving up!! I have to pause at times, when I get overwhelmed, but with patience, I learn to thrive again!
Tolkien and other fantasy books, daydreaming, singing, painting, secrets despite all intrusiveness, cats, plants, trees and learning like crazy (skipping a grade) where a big part of what kept me halfway sane
Writing, writing, and more writing. I would sharpen a dozen or two pencils in the morning and just write continuously all day. In between classes, during lunch (because my anxiety would make me sick so I couldn't eat anyway), in my room the rest of the day. Just writing. My therapist found it odd that I basically completely stopped when I started trying to break away from my family. I guess I felt that I didn't need that resource any longer. I've had people try to encourage me to start again, but I just don't seem to have any interest in it any longer. I was even planning on doing it professionally at one point. One of my high school English teachers told me that I would be a published author by the time I was 25. Didn't happen, but it was amazing that he had that level of confidence in me. I never did. I did get into video games too, and that filled up what little time I didn't spend writing. Still into them today... kinda.
For me it was books as a child. I was reading at a high school level in elementary school, which was probably just my sheer determination to discover new worlds. Then music entered the picture. I played piano, violin and sang professionally. Music is still a pretty big go to. I started realizing many, many years later that my attraction to sappy love ballads was actually all of those unrequited feelings a child feels for a toxic and unavailable mother. It still puts me into a tail spin when I hear Sam Smith's "Not In That Way". Ooof.
My theater teacher giving me permission to fail I still remember his words whenever I start to struggle a bit more: (I'll try to translate it the best I can) Falhar ontem, falhar hoje, falhar amanhã, falhar melhor. To fail yesterday, to fail today, to fail tomorrow, to fail better.
Reading. I learned to read by age 4, by reading stories I knew. We moved every year, military family, and I read the library of every school. ALL of the books. Read at high school level by 10, that's all the tests went to. Math not so much. Find hiding places, and read.
I would get lost in my novels as a kid. In 3rd grade I read little house on the prairie, in 4th I found dickens and little women. 6th and up French Revolution and the holocaust. Highschool, I joined everything
To play an instrument, to dance, nature, to draw, listened radio and music And some combined! And a certain tv programm between germany and france - arte.
I realized i stayed in community (off campus) college for 14 years because i didnt want to go back home. Music played loud to snuff out the mother's constant yelling. If she doesnt know. That or headphones. Always outside in nature in one way or another. Hanging out with my friend (or so i thought) and spent the nights so i wouldnt go home.
College radio, Nirvana, and realizing I need to do the complete opposite of what my older sibling suggested, or how my parents, and grandparents acted. 😂🎉😂
my dogs, drawing, movies, dancing, (oldies, disco, pop, rnb, almost all kinds) singing, fairy tales, the muppets, Falkor the luck dragon, lady Oscar, Sailor Moon, Candy Candy, my imagination lol
Music & art always grounded me. I was sbused, neglected & homeless at 14 - I am now 72.
KUDOS to everyone who broke the chains of their trauma.
Maladaptive daydreaming got me through it 😢. Going off to live in my head in the worlds that I created.
Woo dissociated responses for the win! Or, something. Ahem.
Me too. I also drew etc. but the daydreaming part and also not remembering the worst of it is the main thing that got me through. Not to mention just generally resilient brain.
I suspect I'm unusually high.on seratonin production.
Maladaptive daydreamers unite!
SAME. I built worlds where I was safe.
Me too and planing my deletion every day, day in and day out.
Me too. I had sooo many lovers!
I thought I’d use music to help the trauma. The silver lining is I’ve now got a piano performance degree, multiple records out including an EP, can sing, 10 years of drumming experience, bass playing, and recording producing and mixing. And there’s still more trauma 😂
Hi, trauma will not pass by itself without therapies and 12 step programs but music can definitely help. There is a lot of bilateral music for trauma to be listened to on headphones when you get triggered, are anxious or get panick attacks. My EMDR therapist recommend it to me and it has been a great support in the healing process.
@@Ewa19750928 I’m talking about writing music, which I kinda treat like talking to a therapist, just in music instead of English. It’s complicated but it works for me.
Books. I could lose myself in a book for hours. It’s only now that I realise I was using reading as a form of escape.
I did the same. I became an English professor. :)
Me too. I was always reading. In hindsight always escaping into other lifes in the stories of the books I read.
@@cadoho yes!!
Same... I'm still the person all of my friends come to for editing expertise on anything written 😆
Same! It was my escape
Video games, drawing, blasting loud music and singing my heart out.
Art, music, video games, books, nature
What got me through it?
Drugs. (Escapism)
Ditto
Same here
nine inch nails. and dissociative day/night dreaming. I have lived so many lives all in my head...
then i left when I could. turns out I headed into a downward spiral. now, here I am.
Books...running away...then finally giving of myself in ways that were good and wholesome.
Good drumming;
Sing sing sing SCREAM sing sing SCREAM sing sing draw Ralph Steadman-esque portrait of my parents and include that artwork in my final senior year portfolio at high school 😁
Scream…yes, you expressed it well.
Writing.
I used to play music, but I had to quit because I was making too much racket apparently. Writing was a quiet activity I could do in my bedroom cowering with headphones on to drown out the screaming. During my teenage years I was obsessed with the Beatles and John Lennon. The Beatles accompanied me throughout those awful years.
Writing is the only thing that brings me joy and that I've really ever been good at doing. Writing was my therapy and escape. It still is.
Cheers, Patrick. Very nice drumming. I enjoy seeing how talented you are.
Biding my time until I could move on and never have to deal with them again.
Perfectly expressed. Then I spent too much time acting like that’s not what I did nor what I wanted to do. I don’t anymore.
Music was/is that for me as well ❤🤗
MUSIC for sure and especially going out with my best friend on saturdays DANCING through the night. Thank you for reminding us, Patrick! Love 💕 from Germany
When I was a kid, it was fantazing. Or I'd go into a zombie state where I'd sit on my bed staring at the floor. But #1 was food. It got/still gets me through it. Except with this one, I ruined my body inside and out.
You’re the only one who mentioned food. Yes, this is true for me.
For me it was caring about other people. Everyone I met through this journey of my life, a little bit of knowledge I gave to them I got back more❤️
Music, books, sitting in the woods, and running track.
The Stone Roses, when I was briefly hospitalized in the winter of '92 at a private facility that my parents' insurance afforded them, after my 'breakdown'. I was left alone, for the most part, in what was basically a hotel room, except you couldn't lock the door to the corridor or the bathroom. I left 3 weeks later, considerably worse, with cabin fever from the confinement and neglect, disorientated and pumped full of their nasty drugs (I'll never know what.) I would lie on my bed listening to that band on my Walkman, looking forward to getting back to home to my records, and my 'normal'- as hellish as it was. Good drumming, Patrick. Great song, too!
Rock on!
Singing got me through. Oh the hours I’d spend locked in my room with my boombox, a mic and my voice 🤍 to this day, if I let the tension build up, the only way I know to release it is to sing.
Books & music on the radio & staying up all night with both!!!
the miracle that was/is Jim Henson that lead to a life in the fine arts saved me. and some really good music in the 70s and 80s
Singing, my art, and being a better dad to my kids then I ever had.
This is so cathartic to watch. Thank you for sharing your talent and skill here with us.
We weren't allowed outlets like this. People pleasing and hard work, even if it meant doing other people's jobs, was what saved me. Still working to undo that tendency.
I secretly wished I could be a violinist and drummer.
I played drums for years and then lost interest in drums but not in the music. I thought about it and think about the noise I made on the drums was like the noise and the rage going on in my head. I didn’t know about feelings then and I had no way to express what would just come up in my brain as rage would surface and got on my drums, I believe, to express my rage and to drown out my own noise and feelings. I would play to exhaustion and until my ears were ringing. I believe that I was trying to drown out what was coming up as traumatic memories and the feelings this raised - feelings I hadn’t processed, feelings I yet did not know how to identify and define, and the feelings of me in the present about why I had these memories and why did I have to deal with them - as life was difficult enough. I hear what you’re saying, Patrick.
Wow! Mom would not let me play the drums as she did not want another Karen Carpenter. I really had wanted a set! You are excellent at it!🎉
writing poetry, learning to take pictures with a real camera, music, playing piano & taking it to a high level
Books. Lots and lots and lots of books.
And then in healing, I got back into reading and devouring books and info on trauma that have helped me so much. My shame has gone down so much bc now I understand what I endured and how it effected and affected me better.
Besides daydreaming or playing by myself, I used to draw and write a lot. I’ve always found creative outlets and they helped me a lot in the middle of all the dysfunction and chaos. Writing has been especially helpful for me over the years, thankfully.
Acting, playing my flute in band, and playing softball. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of these things if it weren’t for my aunt (who took my cousin to the same extra-curricular activities) or my friend’s parents who also drove me back and forth to practices and performances. I have put myself down my whole life so I can say this now…I was really good at these things but a great actress! I got the leads in all the plays I auditioned for from 4th grade and when I finally went to college. Acting and the theatre were my favorite, though. I loved the idea of becoming someone else in a role. I could totally escape myself and my life. I really got into that. I also got into listening to music as much as possible. On the darker side what helped me get through it was substance abuse that I started at 15. Of course that ended up making it all worse but it was an escape for a while. The saddest thing, though (and I’m wondering if anyone else did this too…) was from age 7, I would have suicide fantasies. I would pray for God to kill me, too. I would create a whole plan in my head. For some reason this would help me cope when I was alone in my room or couldn’t sleep at night because all of the adults were up partying too loudly and wasted. Weird, right? Unfortunately, true. My therapist says it’s not too far out considering what I was going through. I never actually attempted it, thank God! This survival strategy dissipated at 17 when I moved out of state. So, good and bad things both got me through it.
Music, nature, and friends. Oh, and my Grandmother! I always thought of her as my saving grace. She loved, and nurtured me. I think she kinda knew, as before she died, she told me she had been sexually abused by her father as a young girl. She wanted someone to know she said. She was my angel.
Absolutely blasting loud music!!! and then also quiet time with my little fur babies
It was a very lonely experience.
I used to stay at my friends house whenever I could.
My horse and my art. Still ❤ my ponies.
Ponies can take your whole spirit from a RAVAGING WAAARRRR! Very powerful animals! COWGIRL UP!
Dolls. Loving and hugging on those babies like I wanted to be treated 😢 now I'm an adult doll collector and doll therapy has helped me immensely❤❤
Mega Man Star Force 3. I remember when I couldn’t go to school and I BARELY if ever played video games because I was so dysregulated I’d just stare at the wall or listen to music (this was also an important one for me) but man. I booted it up and man… it saved my life no joke. Ironically the game is about loss, finding hope finding friendships. It was my light that shined ever so bright in my all encompassing darkness.
listening to music
fantasizing about a whole different life with a different family
I did gymnastics🤸🏻
And dancing💃
And swimming 🏊🏽
Six days a week!
This is seriously so good, it deserves more views!
dang you are great at that.. hm i listened to music a lot, but like really old fashioned music.. really soft gentle music, the exact opposite of what my peers would often listen to, Simon and Garfunkel type things. and nature.. i went out in nature and thought that the plants loved me, and imagined the love I needed emanating from the nature world for me.
later as a teenager I heard the song to make you feel my love, covered by Garth Brooks but i ended up turning the love towards myself and I figured that when my mother was super harsh and strict on me I would instead be soft and gentle to myself.
Music (The Beatles & John Lennon included!), photography, and other misfit kids on their own got me through it all ✨
Hiking, running, meditation and music
Music got me through it. ❤
Hanging on to good memories from before it began
Art, video games, books (big time fantasy and sci-fi nerd), hikes when I was healthier, and when younger so many concerts.
Best thing was high school and after school activities. I joined everything, didnt go home until late. friends, long bikerides,the arts, my first job at 16.
I also think I was carried through it with music. My angel is a rock star watching over me. Have you ever noticed that right after some escalation something will play on some device and it perfectly narrates your emotional reality that nobody can talk about. It's coming through the airwaves like God sees you and incidentally there's a song about that.
I went down the MMO rabbit hole to escape, but pretty much anything related to computers and electronics helped me keep my distance from my dad: it was a world of my own, and specifically one my dad could never navigate.
First books, then video games, now I find peace in nature 💚
Books! I could escape so deeply into stories my family would have to come over and shake my arm to get my attention. Even then, they'd have to give me a couple extra seconds because I'd still be in another world. I don't escape as deeply anymore as an adult, and it's only recently that I've realized it's because I don't need to.
Dancing, singing, music, moody blues, sport, tennis, basketball, art. I started putting weight when I was in primary school and my mum took me to little athletics.
Becoming a super serious student, my sport, crafts, maladaptive daydreaming, and eventually art journaling.
Wow!! You’re very talented! 😊
God the Creator, books, being active, out in nature, lakes, swimming, gardening and never giving up!! I have to pause at times, when I get overwhelmed, but with patience, I learn to thrive again!
Music did it for me too, Patrick ❤
Singing - publicly - I don’t suck - and friends that stuck w me and understood I was making changes to protect myself
Marrying entirely too young. Having a child even more “too young” but having my mother in law with me. She was my first real parent.
My horses and barn work. Riding back country roads alone or with my bff, Connie.
Tolkien and other fantasy books, daydreaming, singing, painting, secrets despite all intrusiveness, cats, plants, trees and learning like crazy (skipping a grade) where a big part of what kept me halfway sane
Music is the great healer.
Writing, writing, and more writing. I would sharpen a dozen or two pencils in the morning and just write continuously all day. In between classes, during lunch (because my anxiety would make me sick so I couldn't eat anyway), in my room the rest of the day. Just writing.
My therapist found it odd that I basically completely stopped when I started trying to break away from my family. I guess I felt that I didn't need that resource any longer. I've had people try to encourage me to start again, but I just don't seem to have any interest in it any longer. I was even planning on doing it professionally at one point. One of my high school English teachers told me that I would be a published author by the time I was 25. Didn't happen, but it was amazing that he had that level of confidence in me. I never did.
I did get into video games too, and that filled up what little time I didn't spend writing. Still into them today... kinda.
Books and singing, which is how i wound up with a bachelor's degree in voice/music history. Also, unfortunately, dissociation and food. 😢
Swimming team and reading during the rest of the year
What happens when they ruined the thing that got you through it, too? 😢
For me it was books as a child. I was reading at a high school level in elementary school, which was probably just my sheer determination to discover new worlds.
Then music entered the picture. I played piano, violin and sang professionally. Music is still a pretty big go to.
I started realizing many, many years later that my attraction to sappy love ballads was actually all of those unrequited feelings a child feels for a toxic and unavailable mother. It still puts me into a tail spin when I hear Sam Smith's "Not In That Way". Ooof.
My theater teacher giving me permission to fail
I still remember his words whenever I start to struggle a bit more: (I'll try to translate it the best I can) Falhar ontem, falhar hoje, falhar amanhã, falhar melhor. To fail yesterday, to fail today, to fail tomorrow, to fail better.
School… kind & nurturing mentors. I’d be so lost today if it weren’t for them.
Reading. I learned to read by age 4, by reading stories I knew. We moved every year, military family, and I read the library of every school. ALL of the books. Read at high school level by 10, that's all the tests went to. Math not so much. Find hiding places, and read.
Music, school life, and knowing that I’m out of here once I turn 18.
I would get lost in my novels as a kid. In 3rd grade I read little house on the prairie, in 4th I found dickens and little women. 6th and up French Revolution and the holocaust. Highschool, I joined everything
To play an instrument, to dance, nature, to draw, listened radio and music
And some combined!
And a certain tv programm between germany and france - arte.
You are a grand player!!! Wish I could balance the different pieces that well. I am a beginner drummer
Ooh thank you Mr T!!! 🥳💐👍👍
Video games & stories of the perseverance of others.
I realized i stayed in community (off campus) college for 14 years because i didnt want to go back home. Music played loud to snuff out the mother's constant yelling. If she doesnt know. That or headphones. Always outside in nature in one way or another. Hanging out with my friend (or so i thought) and spent the nights so i wouldnt go home.
College radio, Nirvana, and realizing I need to do the complete opposite of what my older sibling suggested, or how my parents, and grandparents acted. 😂🎉😂
None, it all got destroyed in the hurricanes from hell, while me being pulled deeper into the darkest place.
my best friend, music, escapist tv, academic validation
my dogs, drawing, movies, dancing, (oldies, disco, pop, rnb, almost all kinds) singing, fairy tales, the muppets, Falkor the luck dragon, lady Oscar, Sailor Moon, Candy Candy, my imagination lol
Music and books 💖
Music was huge for me
going out and finding a tree
Nothing. I wasn't good at anything. Didn't have anything left.
My teddy bear(she listened) then art, nature, music.
Music and being creative. Lots of daydreaming for me. I checked out a lot.
YES and my friends.
Music , and reading
Dance and paint
Became a national runner
I took up art, writing, and music
Wow 🤩:) Music art and nature for me
Suppressing all emotions,
being a sarcastic cynic mofo,
computer games.
still suffering today.
Working out, gym 5x wk
Music, dancing, nature and animals, books and my imagination...
It was books for me.
Cartoons and my imagination. In high school it was ROTC
Dissociation.
Black history/leaders… my brothers.
Studying. And maladaptive daydreaming the rest of the time...
Daydreams then self medication...not an ideal solution.