We know some of you requested videos on toxic family, so we thought we go ahead and release this. Perhaps, it will help someone out there feel heard. Let us know if we've been posting too much as well and we will slow down.
I have a toxic family. I relate to all of the points shown in this video. It surprises me to even think that some people actually have caring parents. I wish I could know how it feels to have a loving family. I don't even know what being loved feels like.
And thats y i get confused when or if the love i ever wanted approaches, ofcs nobody cares now since am a nobody , 0 friends and a dysfunctional family and ive been depressed for weeks having suicidal thoughts but im still here. i hope soon to get a job and collect enough money never to crawl back in this shell of hell
I think the absolute worst thing about being raised in a toxic environment is competing with the ones who weren't. They just have a different, positive energy to them, they have big plans for the future, and they think the best about themselves. They don't have to spend hours and hours crying or recovering from all the emotional abuse.
I get you. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to grow up in those “perfect” homes. Is there such a place? I wonder about that. Or are they just not talking about it?
I still have a lot of problems considering have a loving family and you still will. Everyone will and I have a lot too and it's hard, you just need someone to help you vent, it makes a HUGE difference wether you have a loving family or not
MAN I can't tell you how much I think about this so much. Ones who didn't grow up in an abusive home truly do have a huge advantage over someone who did grow up in an abusive home. It's even more depressing when you think about it...
@@raycutler2524 That depends though I have a loving family I still have one too many problems and even family ones at that, and even if I still feel love they're still way too many problems for me to focus on.
dude your comment opened my eyes a bit, comparing myself to people who have so much support when my own family try to put me down at every turn isn't good for me, hope you all the best !
I was never shown respect because "respect is earned, not given", however I was forced to show respect at all times because "you're supposed to always give your parents respect, they don't need to earn it."
Everything on this list hits home, and actually today I decided to have “The Toxic Talk” with my mom. It was a mess as you could imagine. The toxic habits I’m trying to shake off to this day are the same ones my parents have failed to deal with. My mom is not open to reason at all currently. I want to speak with my dad on this too to hear his side. My parents are acting aloof as well. My mom is becoming very defensive towards expressing myself, and I keep getting my word turned against me, guilted, and yelled at. I hope we can all come to a close on this eventually.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I assure you, it’s *NOT SELFISH TO LEAVE THOSE WHO **_CONSTANTLY_** HURT YOU.* You are not a punching bag, you are a human being with a life, and it’s never too late to leave, and in the end, it’s YOUR life, not theirs. You don’t belong to anyone.
I am a punching bag for all of my family. They will never understand. They will never support. They will never love me. They don't love me. They show that they don't. As much as I had love towards them, I cannot trust them anymore. I was SA-d by the boy in i think 6th or 7th grade. And I was beaten up because of that. I was cut out from my dream college, cut out from having driving lessons, cut out from social life. At one point I thought I will never find a person to love me because of them. Now I know I won't. I have a husband who I assume that he will leave me when he gets a chance to. And our families are mostly in that relationship. I hate my life every single day. I'm pregnant with baby 2. And I think it became somehow my safezone. Until it wasn't because we're in my family's house. And my husband is great with them. I'm scared that they'll complain about me not going out of the house, I'm too depressed to go out. Life with them now is making me depressed. Everyone has their own reasons. But hell no me. I'm always a punchbag for their issues. Still I am. And I want to move out as soon as possible, but we are struggling with money. I hope we will somehow get out of that situation. I can't take it anymore.
For anyone struggling in toxic homes: Once you find your way out. Learn to reparent yourself. Acknowledge the ways that you may have been affected and how it’s affecting you in your life. Provide yourself the space and the grace to work diligently on yourself. Everything won’t be perfect once you’re out of the home, it actually may be worse due to unhealthy upbringing. But know that it’s only a stage if you allow it to be. Work on your morals, values, and passions. Find people who will love you, but make sure your love for yourself isn’t compromised. Use your weaknesses as a challenge to overcome, and definitely find someone to support you (I.e. a therapist). If you’re in college take advantage of the counselors ( it’s in your fees). Life is what you make it. No one else can make the decisions for you, not even if they try.
yea this advice could really work for people who need it and can access it because i'm pretty sure there are those people who are denied the ability to speak out about their problems either by fear or force
After all these years of trying to tell myself I'm just seeking excuses to be special, I am finally able to accept that, as much as my family has given me a good life, they have also caused a huge impact on my mental health, and are the prime reason of all my insecurities and issues. Not all toxic people act toxic all the time, and as much as you feel you owe them love for all the good stuff, you're also entitled to feel bad about them, and that's okay
My parents ticked off a lot of the toxic traits, but what I most lingered on was the affection. We do show affection, but most times it feels forced, fake and empty.
I just want to say that I'm never gonna treat my kids the way my parents did to me. The way they raised me is just some kind of hell i went through, yet I've managed to learn the good habits from the good people I meet around outside my home. Whenever i go out, I feel like I'd never come back. I talk to my friends about their families, how they treat them what are they like, and I really envy them. I'm just waiting till I go out for my studies in a different city. It's not nice here :)
Watching this made me realize that I was truly in a toxic situation concerning my family. When I finally decided to speak up about how tired I've grown of being blamed for everything and not heard, they made it seem like I was crazy. I love with my dad now so at times I visit my mother and her husband but 2 weeks ago the trauma hit me. It made me realize that we never truly discussed the fact that our home was not a healthy one and it hurts because they choose to not be open minded. I know parents have their own trauma to deal with but its no excuse to take it out on your children.
The older I get, the more I have come to realisation that my family is very toxic. It’s breaks my heart everytime when I think back that my parents used to read my diaries and go through my drawers, and the smirk my mother had when I confronted her, she would always say things like “ so what , I went through your things, I’m your mother, I have rights to know what my child is up to.” My dad, till these days, still doesn’t believe mental health. His mindset about mental issues is that as long as no one in the family is known to have such a “thing”, then I’m not supposed to have it. It’s “ other people’s illness” . I spent years going to therapy and I can’t even tell them about what I think. I stopped talking to them a few years ago, and I’m slowly healing. It’s a long and difficult process, some days it gets so hard to get through, And I feel alone during these difficult times. I just wish I could have a family that could respect me and love me instead of putting me down all the time and dismissing my feelings.
Same here. I tried and still try to fix, but sometimes, you can’t fix a cut that is already in too deep. But I still have to endure this. My parents said that I need to finish college and get a good degree, have a good job that *they* accept, but until then, I can’t leave the house or live by myself.
I wouldn’t have minded if my mother just read my diaries but she would read them and mock me and slut shame me for literal thoughts 😐 I’m an eleven year old little girl like how unnecessarily cruel is that And she wonders why we don’t talk
You are right to go no contact, even though it's always hard, but it's a vote for YOU. It feels weird to see families where parents care and show respect and validate their kids' feelings, and you see it and know you had nothing like it. You will always mourn that but you can't change your family or teach them anything. Move on. Surround yourself with loving, respectful and kind people, even if you might be alone sometimes before that happens- an opportunity to think, to be good to yourself. In your life you will find other caring individuals who provide what your parents failed at, people who mother you or father you in the best way, who show respect and think of your feelings. It happens at the most unexpected times.
I totally agree on the toxic family points. I’m raised in the toxic life. It’s not helping with my mental health, my impulsive suicidal thoughts. But I don’t stay at home most of the time. I just walk around and head home late to sleep haha. To avoid communication and all.
@@Unknown-wb1bf that’s why I just head out of my house and do what makes those negativity be out of my body with doing what I love. Hehe. I should be okie.
Please don’t hurt yourself, suicide is a way of ending your life but you will be missed greatly, get help asap! Talk to a counselor at school, the school nurse, a trusted teacher. Ask for help!!! It can get better, don’t give up!!!!!
I want to move out from my parents home, but every time I bring up the idea to my mom, she starts saying that she will ignore me as if I never existed only because I decided to "abandon" her first. I really love my mom, and I wish to do everything I can to make her happy, but ever since she told me that, I've been having a lot of panic attacks and no apatite for weeks.
Follow your goals, honey. You can’t live for her and you CAN live without her. Do not become victim to this. Not to sound harsh, but give her the same energy. It’s much easier said than done, but if she threatens to ignore you, ignore her. She can’t control you for the rest of your life. I’m not saying that you can’t love her. Please still love her and keep a good heart. But also live for you. One day you’ll get older and wish that you did. She living her life, it’s time you live yours.
That's manipulative tactic because your mother thinks she owns you or as extension of herself. You're not abandoning her, just leaving the nest. I'm sure u care about her. It's time to care about yourself. You can't make her happy in any way.
Being raised in a toxic household, it took 19 years for me to leave that house and realize it wasn’t a home. I spent my whole life defending my family to anyone who dared question their motives, but with the help of therapy and physically being removed from the environment, I have finally found my freedom. To anyone who also relates to the points made in this video, please know that your feelings are valid and you don’t deserve the treatment you receive. One day you can leave the environment and spread your wings. Stay strong and have hope, I know it isn’t easy. I’m still reeling from my own toxic family, but I can tell you that my life has significantly improved by acknowledging that my family is indeed toxic. Thank you for this video and for validating my feelings ❤ I hope this video helps everyone as much as it did me :)
I never realized the way I was raised was toxic. I thought it was normal. So anytime I'd open up to other people about my home life they would give me a concerned look. All 5 of these, came out as toxic for me. They aren't as bad as they used to be. But, the hurt is still there and that fear is. I'm 23 and still can't be too open about my feelings and opinions in that household. I love my family, but they are very overwhelming. Going through this, I never had access to being able to take control of my life or my anxiety and depression. Its gotten worse over the years, but I'm getting help .
This video came at a perfect timing because I am going through that right now. I try to be happy and smile for once, but then my family HAS to go and ruin my good day. I don't understand why. I have been depressed, anxious, and more mixed emotions since I was 15 just 2 months before my 16th birthday. I will be 18 in a few months and I will NEVER stop having panic or anxiety attacks, nor will I ever probably stop being so depressed. These videos are amazing keep up the wonderful work!
Try to find a way to leave them and sever ties. I know that sounds impossible but it is the only way your central nervous system will calm down and your anxiety will stop. You’re a beautiful and normal human being and they are the ones who are messed up. They look at you and you remind them of what they are not and will never be. Try and leave them and give yourself a few years to heal and you will see these people in a much different light and more than likely you will never want to see them again. Family means nothing when they treat you like dirt.
Some toxic parents hate seeing you be happy and will do what they can to ruin your mood. Once you leave, you can go off and be happy and good parents will be happy for you but bad ones will be angry and jealous.
The 2nd one is so incredibly true my mom was always a “shut up I’m right your just a kid” type of parent I was the biggest mamas boy growing up but when I realized how much she thought she deserved respect and didn’t give me any in return I slowly started to hate her we are still on bad terms 5 years after I moved out but I’m glad we are still on bad terms because it shows that she only “loved” me when she had power over me
I relate to this. I always was the best daughter who did everything right. And this is what my parents were like to me. And now I'm not the perfect daughter since I've grown and understood that my parents were not the all-knowing people I thought they were, and they know I noticed and don't like it.
Exactly how my mom isssssss 😭😭😭 i can't move out i don't wanna move out i mean i do but my parents make me feel like i need them and i have to stay. 😭 I'll feel guilty for even clicking the block bottom 😭
Cool video I grew up with a very toxic mother. This video summarized my upbringing. The constant yelling , the belittling , the lack of anything positive to say, the overall lack of respect, the lack of any positive reinforcement , the physical abuse , it was all there. My mother is the template for all women as far as I am concerned. Even at my age I keep women at a distance and cannot form any romantic relationships ( no , I am not gay).
I came from a toxic family, and I identify with most of the toxic traits you mentioned, especially in my childhood. Now, things are changing and I think there are a couple of things that are on a healthy side, such as Privacy, Communication and Affection. Criticism and Respect is still a work in progress. What's tough is that with my parents, one of them has mostly outgrown the toxic traits and turned them into healthy traits, while the other one is still mostly around the toxic side, hence I can't have a complete change. Anyway, I really like this topic, so thanks so much for the insight! :)
That’s why as a 16 year old I don’t have a family we separated from them becuase they love money and they don’t value family and love and my dad left me for another women and my mom was by herself and she managed my whole childhood and then my mom passed away when I was 12 which was tough for 12 years she looked after me on a teachers salary and my brother worked in America to earn more money to look after us so it’s only me and my brother and I’m grateful for everything he’s done and sacrificed for me Value your loved ones everyday ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I experienced this toxic treatment at home which is also now playing out in my "marriage". It's horribly unsafe emotionally, spiritually psycholigically and mentally. I am working on myself to build up the self worth and self compassion to leave. Staying is definitely like drinking poison, slowly dying. No point being a martyr.
My best friend has a toxic parent and a healthy parent. The mom is somebody who looks like a good parent but is a manipulative monster. The dad is stuck helping her and her kids. Her little sister is a mini version of the mom and makes her sisters life a living hell. I will send this to her and show her she's not alone ♥️
My father shows 4/5 of the toxic things. My dad always feels the need to criticize everything that i do if its not what he thinks. Im not allowed to think for myself on front of him and he never considers the feelings of anyone else, being the narcissist he is. I constantly have to hide everything, since i know i would just get yelled at again, so my only comfort is with my friends, or somewhere that isn't home. He supoorts me sith physical needs like food and shelter, but destroys me emotionally of the inside. He also has the feeling that I have to be like him, think like him, and have him the one that has to be in power. Watching this video taught me alot, so Thank you for that :)
This video helped me a lot. I'm 24 and the stress of extremely toxic parents has token a toll on my mental and physical health for years. I've been to the ER, cardiologists looked at everything to have them figure out why i've been fainting and horrendous chest pains and palpitations and I finally realized it's all because of my parents and the stress that they add onto my life. Constantly being put down, always told that I'm wrong, being raised in nothing but chaos every day and being blamed for it all. No care, no support. I would literally break out in stress hives all over my body. It's so friggin crazy how much your emotional health can affect your physical. I'm so glad my step dad finally came and saw how awful my mom treated me and told me I am not wrong for anything that occurred and now he copletely understands. One thing I do wish P2G would touch on is what to do if youre in these situations. Like maybe make a separate channel for it? I feel like that would be super helpful. Absolutely great video regardless tho
My family is all of these 😃 it’s so accurate I’m honestly scared, the last one actually made me cry knowing that my family usually pays no attention to me or barely interacts with me outside of the basic stuff like “come eat dinner” or “wake up for school”
growing up i always knew i was in a toxic household. i would go over to my friends house and see how they function as an actual unit while allowing their kids to be an individual. my parents simply think of their kids as an extension of themself and think they own their lives just because they brought a child into this world.
~>time stamps!!!! 🌸 1- 0:38 Communication • 🌸2- 1:22 Respect • 🌸3- 2:21 Criticism • 🌸4- 3:14 Privacy • 🌸5- 4:10 Affection • the animations are so adorable as always 😭 ty for the daily uploads
It's so sad how all the Toxic points shown on the video relates to my family. At first, I thought it was a normal life I'm currently in, but after watching this and searching, I think otherwise. Thank you for this amazing video, stay safe :)
I relate to all of the points in terms of a family dynamic. I understand it’s because they’ve had bad stuff happen to them but it doesn’t excuse the fact they project that fear onto me. I feel kinda sad cause I’ve had to act like an adult for them essentially and I’m only 17 years old. I just wish that if I have a family, it won’t be the same because i got my childhood robbed from me…
@@eltiobry3859 Its so sad to hear that. Sometimes i am experiencing some toxic traits too. I just focus on me and my goals and mind my own business and i limit my interaction unless they are not saying attacking words and not violating my boundaries. Stay kind and gentle with yourself. Cut off people and circumstances that doesnt give you your best interest at hand.
Toxic in all categories and yet I can send my siblings this video to try an understand me but they tell me not to send them this. My parents are very old fashioned and unfortunately I check yes to all the toxic things you’ve mentioned in this video. It really breaks my heart because they always put me down and compare me to others. Because of that i drink a lot and smoke a lot of cigarettes I wish my family understood me. I’m losing faith and just feel depressed all the time. I really don’t know what to do anymore
Consider this: why are your siblings thoughts your responsibility? You've tried to convince them but they decide to ignore it. Families can be messed up (like mine) but you've gotta consider yourself and your own happiness.
Related to all of these in some way. I grew up in a toxic household, and it was only after I moved out last year that I started to learn and realize how toxic it was. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as other people go through, yet it still had negative impacts on me. My mom is a narcissist who believes in comparative suffering, and my dad just became a punching bag for her verbal abuse when the kids aren't around. I was demanded to give respect but never got any, was criticized more as I got older, felt no sense of privacy, showed very little affection, and my parents are terrible at communication. I'm still healing, learning to pay attention to my inner child, and hope to seek out therapy soon.
This came at a perfect time. I grew up with my Mom's toxic family after my Dad died. Always gaslighted, shamed, and everytime I opened up to them I get backstabbed. I even am the escape goat to their problem. From 11 yrs old-22 years old, I felt like I was a puppet. Then I made the decision to go abroad to study in Nursing School. The best decision I have ever made in my life! After nursing school, The pandemic hit and it took me 2 years to fix my papers in order to return back home with my degree. During the two years, I lived independently and focused on fixing all of my bad habits & past traumas. All the negative thoughts I had about myself were originated from my Mom and her sibblings. When I returned home, there was the one week honey moon phase... then it just began to turn to what I feared. It's like nothing has changed! No matter what I did or done... I always get ridiculed. Like I taught myself how to survive in a foreign country and I return home and they treat me like a piñata. The only difference is that this 29 year old man lived life during the pasy 6-7 years away from them.. and that I can stand up for myself. That and I have a social support team that understand my situation. Finally, I am no longer shacked with the fear of failure. I use my mistakes and screw ups as an opportunity yo grow. Lately, I have been distancing myself from my family especially my Mom. She rather be correct than to fix the problem. She has no clue about her surroundings. Always puts the blame game and always picks fights with everyone. As for my mom's sibblings... everytime I open up to them I get backstabbed. I'm like their escape goat for all their problems that are beyond my control. As of right now my back is up against the wall. I'm 29 years old with no career (Trying to be a Registered Nurse with my degree I worked so hard for), I live with my toxic non-loving/non-supporting family, failed the NCLEX ( had pneumonia & omicron + family drama projected towards me affected my performance), no money (Still getting allowance from my step dad because I am strictly focusing on retaking the NCLEX), and I'm a bit out of shape. (My body is still readapting to the weather here in NY compared to the Philippines.) I'm doing everything in my power to keep me sane. Journaling, reading the bible, praying, listening to podcasts, sleep hypnosis, calling my friends & love ones that loves me & appreciates me, working out, yoga, and just walking outside to appreciate nature outside because the weather is getting better. Even distancing myself from my own family. Lately I've been going out to the library more to study and have that peace of mind. Despite all of that, there have been times that my anger fluctuates and I have thesr unnecessary revengeful thoughts that I would not dare even attempt... let alone to my bloodline... even though they are all narcisstic pricks. My only ticket to get out of this toxic environment is to pass the NCLEX so I can work as a Registered Nurse. Eventually I'll buy myself a car and get myself an apartment. It's been a long journey and I'm still recovering from that 2 week emotional rollercoaster. (Heck I'm being labeled as a failure for passing the NCLEX and I know nothing). I pray that I never be like that or succumb to all the bad habits that negative people that I had to deal with. I also pray that nobody goes through what I have been going through since I was 11 years old and I'm now 29 years old. Time flies. Wish me luck and God bless this channel and everyone here trying to heal. 🙏🏼
“Why don’t you ask me for things you need?” “Cos my mom would yell at me when I asked” Healing someone with trauma is hard but doable it just takes time.
Living with toxic family dynamics can feel overwhelming at times. It's important to know that being in a toxic family is not your fault, and it's not something you should be ashamed of. If you’ve recognized toxic patterns in your family, consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you explore the effects of toxicity and offer guidance as you consider how to manage the situation.
Haha, ya, my parents and most of my extended family is like this I realized early on that normal families are supposed to express affection in some form, but all I was told is 'our family's British, we're just like that.' I also grew up not understanding how to deal with stress, and every time I would approach my mother about being stressed out, she'd say 'What do you have to be stressed about?' in a tone that made it seem like I was uber ungrateful for what I had. It took me sitting at work in my early twenties, deciding to read a downloadable survival booklet on my phone (where the first thing they detailed was the symptoms of extreme stress) to realize I have been horrifically stressed for YEARS. I marvel at how everyone else with a even slightly normal family say they still love their parents/family after arguments or whatever, even if they do f*cked up sh!t, but, like, I do not feel that. I've never felt that for as long as my early teens. It's mindboggling to even consider, considering what they've done. I'm always told 'but they're your mother/father/etc', 'you only have one', 'always be there for family.' And I'm like 'No, why would I choose to just keep accepting toxic people in my life?' It's practically an abusive relationship. I don't gaf if they birthed/raised/fed/sheltered me. I will not be Pavlov's dogs stuck with negativity but praying for those brief respites of positivity. Sorry for rambling💚
I'm usually afraid to talk about this kind of stuff, but all of the 5 signs of a toxic family mentioned in this videos literally sums up my family relationship and dynmaic. At this point I dont even want my Family to show me affection, I just want them to at least understand how I feel and know what I want.
Wanted to see how bad my family was and think them hitting every toxic point is more concerning than I expected -w-‘ So yeah definitely going with cutting off, thanks for making it clear just how bad they are
I have a very toxic family and unfortunately have nowhere to go so I have to live with them. I'm 27 and dealing with depression. Everyone judges me because I'm this "old" and have nothing achieved like most people, it's hard living this way with so much toxicity around me but if I don't live then what? Please pray for me 😔 I wish to myself and to anyone who's dealing with mental health problems and depression to go through it and find peace and if possible to be truly happy. 🙏
This came up as soon as I was talking to my partner about how horrible his family is. His family is all the toxic things this has said. and I try to tell him it's not ok, but he just ignores it and won't accept it.
We need more of these type of videos. Toxic parents r growing to be more common and yet these topics are avoided most of the time by some people thinking "children are just being lazy and ungrateful" A healthy family will provide you space as well as fulfil your emotional needs, and you really won't have any complain against them. Wish society cared more about children's and teens' mental health, lots of us are depressed and going through a tough time by ourselves and we don't even have anyone to talk to about it😔 I just want y'all to know that you will get through this tough time and will be able to move out once you're older. For now focus on yourself, motivate yourself & work hard for your career so that u can be independent. And if possible avoid your parents as much as u can, don't give them your precious time and attention if they don't deserve it. I tried this & my mental health is much better than before, I'm now more confident too and i don't need my parents to do everything for me. I hope everyone in the comments will find people someday who truly loves and respects them. Stay strong. Fighting☺❤💜
Is so sad, we need higher standards for parenting Parenting requires a lot of effort in understanding children you can't just tell a kid to shut up just because they don't agree with you, we need to realize that are kids aren't smaller versions of us we should allow them to grow happy and healthy we should want our kids to respect but not fear us, or feel like we're treating them like servants
My “family” ticks off every toxic box in this video. Because of this my siblings and I are estranged. I’ve reached a point where I feel the “healthy” family dynamic is fake or forced. I have a friend who comes from a good family. He finds it very hard to understand my background. I get frustrated with him and constantly having to explain that I don’t want to talk about it without going into detail as to why.
In my family there are serious issues of respect and criticism. Usually the criticism is overblown and communicating and giving advice respectfully is a problem. Communication of your needs easily turns into an invitation for disrespect or a yelling match. Thanks for this video though. Still helps.
Toxic family for me-- My mom, aunts and cousins will always criticize me for my body and for my dreams and what I want. Overtime I've learned to hate my mom side of the family (I never met my dad's side) and I'm so happy that they started to cut communications with us once a fight between me and one of my older cousins broke out. Things are slowly getting better with my mom but sometimes things would probably just go off the haywire. I'm happy she's slowly learning to take faults and apologize. doesn't mean I'll forget everything that she's done to me but I forgive her. At the moment I'm trying to help my other friends that live in toxic families giving them comfort, being there when they need me and telling them that once they're older they'll be able to leave their toxic family. It's not much but it's the best I can do. And to anyone reading this if you're going through a hard time at home. It's going to be okay you'll get through this you're strong in your own way! Light will always shine through even when it seems impossible. Don't give up and stay strong! :) ❤️
The last point, there’s also the toxic showing of “love”, saying things like ‘I love you’ are mandatory, you HAVE to hug your parents, even if you’re clearly uncomfortable with being touched. It’s hard to think about and hard to spot when it’s normal to you especially when it feels like a routine, it was even harder to realize it having been through it as well.
I'm experiencing this right now because I'm about to graduate college. leaving positive support systems at college to a lonely and toxic home. It's very sad leaving such a happy place but I have to move on.
I hate having to feel uncomfortable with my family, even my mom who is honestly much better than my dad. I never tell them anything, and I'm always upset when after-school events or practices are cancelled, because I like hanging out outside of my home. I hate coming home from school on a regular day because it's only my dad there, because I swear as soon as I step foot inside the house I get yelled at for something. I really want to be able to be comfortable with telling my parents stuff and not be yelled at for accidentally shutting the door too hard lol
I’m just gonna put this out there. If you want advice on how I still handle this, comment below: I grew up with a single mom. She separated from my biological dad when I was 2 and I grew up with my younger sister. She tried to hide the existence of my dad when I was a teen, but saw right through her & when I turned 20 I finally met him (she was mad as Hell along with her side of the family). I still resent her to this day for that as well as other things I won’t mention she did to me as a kid and how she wanted me to be a person that I didn’t want to be (basically I couldn’t be myself with her, I had to be what SHE wanted me to be). I still live with her because of circumstantial reasons & would like to move out or find a trusted person to live with. 1. Communication - she is demanding, you can’t have even a simple conversation because it quickly turns into a yell fest, anything she says is just criticism of you or judgement, and she is a bad listener. Sometimes she cuts you off when you talk or won’t listen to what you have to say. “It’s my way and that’s it because I said so”. She’s still bad at communication to this present day. 2. Respect - it was the “you respect me because I deserve it & im the parent…”blah blah blah BS. We could never talk back, ask no questions, question her authority, etc. It was her way and her way only. She’s very closed minded and continues to be today. 3. Criticism - I remember in middle school I got an F on a fractions test & the teacher said my mom had to sign it. I didn’t want to go home that day because I knew she was gonna yell at me. My teacher made me go home & I faced the music. It wasn’t pretty. She’s also told me things like “you’ll never amount to anything” and…”you’re never gonna get a drivers license” and laughed in my face (I found out later the doctors told her this when I was a kid). All my certifications I have she’s like “what are you going to do with those? They’re useless if you don’t have a job with them?” “Why do you keep changing your careers? Why don’t you make up your mind!!” - Never supportive, always degrading and chastising me and judging me and everything around her. She even criticizes commercials! “That guy looks stupid why is he in a commercial” “what a dumb commercial I hate it”….ugh it’s like vomit always comes out when she talks 4. Privacy - Never had it. Always on me about where I go, who I be with…when my sister would run away I wouldn’t say anything and she’d try to get the truth out of me. I had notebooks and toys and stuffed bears as a kid. I would hide them under the bed. When I’d be at school she would go through me and my sisters stuff and throw it away. When she said what she did, I would cry for hours under the empty bed. I hardly have anything but a few things from my childhood. 5. Affection - Hardly. Whatever I felt as a child were just the motions I went along with because I was stupid. She and her family also take me for granted because I do favors and help them, but what’s the thanks I get? Being alienated, the disgrace, the embarrassment, & the black sheep of the family. This is the definition of a toxic PARENT. I have friends whose families treat me BETTER than my own BIOLOGICAL EGG DONOR!!! it’s pathetic. She’s never happy with my decisions & what I do, will never accept who I am as a person and will only do so to save face in public. But I’ve come to accept who I want to be, my beliefs, my values, morals, ethics, and learned that you either hate me or love me.
I went through something familiar. I learn that all my emotions are valid, there are no bad or good emotions, just pleasant or uncomfortable emotions, when you learn to not judge yourself and accept you pace will come, just let go of all the anger by letting yourself feel. It worked for me.
omg i went through the same thing. i also met my father when i was 20 because my mom tried to keep him away from me. i also still live with her. ur comment is reading about my own life.
Being around my family and relatives is so suffocating. I swear, when I grow up, I am going to move out and I am going to break all connections with them. And to be honest with all of you, they are at a point of no turning back because they are just not ready to accept that they are the ones in the wrong because they think that they are always in the right and the person who is pointing out their mistakes is the person who is wrong and I know that this is really toxic and trust me it very much is. And because of all this I hate them but all of them hate me twice as much without a reason. My aunt, my grandparents my uncles, my parents my cousins all of them are so so so toxic. This has made me want to avoid any relationships that I may potentially have in my future, like friends and lovers. Just the idea of a relationship makes me sick to the stomach because of them. And that is also why I want to be alone forever and not have a relationship ever again in my life.
My family was toxic to the core. Everything described in this video nails it. Especially about the invasion of privacy and the constant, toxic criticism.
My ex turned my children away from me by basically kidnapping them and using parental alienation against me. I am surviving well, but it has meant blocking all those family members. My children are grown now, and I believe they are finally seeing the truth. But they are still so brain washed. I am the targeted parent that cries myself to sleep every night. I hope my children will know one day just how much I love them. I never talk bad about their toxic father but he is so cruel about anything related to me. Being a survivor sometimes means life gets very lonely. I message them every day telling them how much I love them. I am healing and I pray my children do too!!!
🤲 that it happens and your children become close to you and be confident that they be a strong support for you all the life and after it. Just be calm and relax it’s hard but it could change. I was sad that one of my family members didn’t get treated well and get far from us in some shape. But your comment made me realise that I am not alone.
@@ahmedalhamadi1231 you are not alone. I had to look a second time at my comment. I thought I posted on mufti menk. SubhanAllah. Everything happens for a reason.
My mom always showed love and support when she was alive. My stepmom and my dad are polar opposites and basically root against me. It sucks but therapy helps me be able to not feel so alone
Even though I know my family dynamics are toxic I still wanted to watch this video for the comments, just to relate to someone, my parents aren’t that toxic but it’s my grandparents and we pretty much live with them I feel I’m going insane because of the games they play and the worst part is that no one is allowed to confront them so basically they can do whatever and say whatever and it just slides I’m so exhausted I just want to move out. I don’t know who to talk to because no one understands or they’ll just say you need to confront your grandparents when I literally can’t and I don’t want to trauma dump.
It's actually a misfortune of mine that i have been born and living in a toxic family... It's like paying for a crime i haven't even committed not to mention constant beating if not listened and threats to give me poisen and kill me off
This really hit hard for me. My dad was a toxic parent, and right now my parents are going through a divorce because my mum had enough of the relationship and having him ruin everything for everyone, I’m really thankful for that because it was getting really bad for the whole family. I’m lucky that it didn’t turn into physical abuse but my dad was really verbally abusive, ESPECIALLY with criticism and communication. Thank you for sharing this information on the internet, for people to learn about what’s good and bad in a family, and to help some who may be going through something similar or different realise the little and big things that contribute to a bad relationship
My husband had a bad experience with his family that's why when we get married, he makes sure that we'll not have the same toxic relationship he experienced. I'm grateful that he's consistent through our 10years of marriage. It's just sad that until now his relatives still expects that we will turn out to have the same toxic relationship that he had. And that's why we're also dedicated to prove them wrong💕
He's lucky, that's often not the path people take. It's interesting how toxic parenting has the ability to show a child exactly what they should avoid, yet at the same time, imprint on them those qualities that they themselves learn to associate with love that they have to unlearn. In my family for example, one of my sisters is a narcissist like my parents, the other is the golden child who gets praised for every small task, becoming a massive pushover, but also the most socially extorverted (extroversion is linked to happiness), my younger brother is dead from suicide (the males were largely neglected raised by our mom) and i'm only now starting to recover, 30 years in. I hope to follow in your husbands foot steps. I guarantee I won't be having 4 kids after knowing a person for 6 months. What pricks.
@@CircumcisionIsChildAbuse you can do it too! Like my husband you have the power to change your situation specially when building a family of your own. Doesn't mean that you were love and raised the wrong way, that you'll end up to be like them. Have faith in yourself...like how I continuously having faith in my husband. I have been blessed to grew up in a loving family that's why it's easier for me to help my husband. I'll pray that you wouldn't be as toxic as your other family members. BEST of luck! I know you can do it❤️
@@mummyZzz The trick is finding someone with stable attachment, like yourself. When you're socially isolated, it becomes quite difficult, but I can certainly try. I just need to watch out for the red flags. I need someone compassionate, but not a push over who can stand up to me if I do something stupid or mean, but not in a confrontational way, aka communication skills. As someone with high functioning autism, I was frequently physically punished for my behavior. If you're physically abused for being yourself by your mom and dad, it tends to leave traces. but I think I can do it, I've studied enough psychology to know my flaws and try to work on them. thanks for the encouragement. I clearly need a woman that isn't like my mother, the polar opposite of how it usually works. I imagine you don't get along with your husbands mother.
@@CircumcisionIsChildAbuse YES communication is the key. Well I met his mom before when we were just dating. Sadly she died bcoz of cancer before we got married. Even though we have a lot of differences, I'm okay with his dad and siblings, maybe bcoz I was raised by my parents to love the good and the bad side of people. What truly matters to me is my husband and our own little family💕 I know someday you'll be blessed with the love and care you deserve🙂
@@mummyZzz thats what I think true love is, loving the person for who they are, while simultaneously encouraging them to be the best version of themselves you know they can be. If there's a mutual exchange of that, it's a pretty strong relationship.
My father doesn't care about my problems or tries to make them into a joke and play them off. My mother, every time I tell her something, always turns it against me. Even if it's not a problem. Like, I'll say I got a good score on a quiz and she'll yell at me over how I should have studied something else because I clearly understand what I was tested on.
My family is quite toxic and sadly I haven’t felt them as a real family for a while now. Especially my mother. She always overthinks, creating those fake scenarios in her head and fights with my dad over it. My dad on the other hand, has a very poor understanding of feelings and how relationships work. He often prefers to keep himself busy with his job, instead of spending time together. He’s not good with words at all, and putting those two personalities together brings nothing good. I share almost nothing about my personal life with them because I know they would judge me. Besides I can’t expect a quality conversation by neither of them.
I have gone through a lot of stuff through my life. Separation (Forced to leave my mom at the age of 3), family members dieing (Father died of overdose), vast amounts of moving (around 8 ish times), Being sexually assaulted and eventually being told my mother is living her life with 3 other kids without much care for me anymore. That's a brief background across my 15 year and counting life. This video in particular hits in multiple aspects perfectly, for example the first point in the video shows what I wish my house hold was like but I go to school just hoping it last as long as possible, dreading coming home due to how I am both treated and forced to do. First point Communication - Yes I am texted once in a while about where or what to do, my opinions are almost invalidated and ignored along with my concerns and feelings.(This has caused many headed arguments and or fights about how I should be treated/or feel). Of course the fights almost never end well, I leave exhausted and more distraught as before and she walks off as of nothing really happened. I of course am forced to ignore the problems and act as if all is OK... Second point Respect - I my self am forced to give respect and act under her rules as if I'm a servant, cleaning, taking care of pets, watching sister, mowing lawns, ext. To an excessive point- like if i have free time it will be spent doing chores for her at any moment. The respect part is ignored for me but I must treat her as a queen because she is my guardian. (Everything in this section past 2:10 is true.) Third point Criticism - This one is less of a problem for my step mom and rather my sister using my flaws as a weapon and a ploy to do her bidding. (Aka minor black maligning me). Fourth point Privacy - When I talk to my grandparents or anyone she doesn't know extremely well she tends to listen on in to my conversation and in some cases question me on my statements. I can also no longer make any new contacts on my phone because she has found a way to stop me from making any others. (Stopping me from keeping in touch with friends.) And lastly Affection - They (my sister and step mom) both guilt trap me by using this by making me feel bad. For example I wanted to relax for a sec at the house while they went shopping but if i chose not to they would say they need me and would want me to go, it will be fun , do you just want to sit home alone. (BTW yes I do). This is barely scratching the surface of what I normally have to endure if any one has a question either reply with a comment or email renewedlocket64@gmail.com P.S. I have had yet to sleep tonight I've been writing this for an hour its 2:33 rn so don expect a immediate response and good bye.
TOXIC!!! Mine was SO bad my mother is dead and i SCREAM at the ceiling how crappy a mother she was!😠They IDOLIZED my younger sister...calling her the pretty one ect. While i was the cook, maid, babtsitter and emotional mental punching bag.
Some of things in this videos actually made me cry because i have never seemed to have them. Such as respect, boundaries, and affection. I cant even remember the last time i got a hug from anyone from my family and it hurts me a lot. I love hugs and i really want to have some since i barely to dont get hugs at all, and its leading me to hug my friends for no reason. I just have this slight feeling im constantly crossing over their boundaries just for a hug that i dont get at home because i usually find it weird when they take a few seconds to hug back. Overall, these videos are really helping me know more about people, my mental health, and so much more. So i thank this channel for this knowledge.
As a 12 year old girl, I never realized how toxic my family, especially my mom is Now I’m crying because of the comparison I never knew I needed to see It genuinely breaks my heart having to see this
my parent's idea of respect is basically "listen to whatever I say without bringing up a counterpoint because I'm your parent", and I know this obviously ain't it but I have a bad feeling these misconceptions they bring up so goddamn much are gonna screw me up bad
5/5 on the toxic side. Yikes. At the same time, I'm fully aware I cannot be 24h under the same roof with my parents. Too many differences between them and I on too many aspects.
I went through a “phase” in my life where I would blame myself for everything, my parents wouldn’t give me any privacy so I was only allowed to talk to ppl my mom knew, and I loved them at first, but then I saw there true selves, let’s just say they all betrayed me, but I decided to break those so called “rules” my mom made, and I made my first ever best friend! Sometimes you just gotta be yourself! Ik like 99% of ppl won’t see this, but if you do I wish you all a blessed life.
My family is extremely toxic and I had to cut every last one of them off. It hurts that I did and I feel so so guilty. My mother used to hit me with closed fists and I still have scars on my hands and arms that all show they're defensive scars. My biological father was never in my life, not even when my mother was pregnant. I always resented him for it. My mother was the worst part of my family. She could be so fake and show an overwhelming amount of affection just to get what she wanted from me. To this day she's fake nice to me and Zelle's me money to guilt trip me into letting her spend time with my kids. When I had my first child, she took her away from me and told me I was never going to be a good mother. I fell into the worst anxiety and depression of my life at that time. I was only 19 when I had my child. I haven't been the same since. I'm turning 29 next week and I still haven't been the same. I have siblings but all they care about is having money and they think I am a waste of their time. I really wish my family wouldn't have had me, my mother said the same, because they never wanted me. I'm the black sheep. I grew up to have so many issues only because of such a messed up family. Thank you for this video.
I don't talk with my mom anymore. I tried so many times to fix the relationship after I realized that she was being toxic, but I guess a lot of people doesn't change or don't want to change, I tried for years but it didn't get better. I'm much more happy now, and i don't miss her anymore. It's sad at first but I already accepted it.
*5 signs of a toxic family members:* 1. Communication 0:41 2. Respect 0:21 3. Criticism 2:23 4. Privacy 3:20 5. Affection 4:10 I personally have this like #1, 2and 3. Sadly I tend to have these kind of things. So here are the time stamps
Yeah the first one was immidiatly one that happens with me the communication aspect...they straight up say I'm not allowed to have an opinion at. 15...yet...they are tryimg to treat me like an 18 year old. As well as the privacy and beimg ordered around and its a do as I say,but not as I do
I cry quite often because i get my feeling basically proven wrong and told its my fault that I'm feeling that way when I express things to them...it makes me feel ragefull and resentful.
My parents do care a lot, but we do fall into most of these categories, which is very terrifying, in all honesty, I’ve been seeing it lately, the toxicity. It makes me sad with the fact we’re kind of a toxic family in some aspects, but I think we can get better, maybe.
I relate to all the toxic ones :( my parents got divorced when I was pretty young and after that everything went downhill. I grew up with an absent dad who wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend than his kids, my mom had depression and was always angry at my brother and I when something didn't turn out as she desired. I grew up with a lot of emotional abuse and still go through it. I have a good relationship with my dad and mom but she's just... A lot. She's really caring one moment but then I'm only an spoiled brat that deserves to be treated badly and even phisically hurt. Then when she's done with her anger she says "I said nothing to you, that's what mothers do". I'm pretty tired honestly
Super happy about this video, I've been living with my parents mainly to help with the raising of my Niece & Nephew, this video helps me confirm that I've been doing a damn good job in my part of raising them(wanted to be a dad since I was a kid so this taste of it and practice is good), unfortunately while my Dad has improved by lightyears compared to when I was a kid with my help(he worked out of town ALOT so he didn't get much practice), my Mom has gone downhill greatly, mainly because of her "I did my time raising 4 kids" mentality, it's hard to see since she was so supportive and there for me my whole life, but for these kids it flipped hard, any little thing becomes a huge problem, the only bright side to the whole situation is that my Niece has grown up very strong, independent and shockingly confident, the down sides are my Nephew won't show emotion to anyone and even with therapy we just can't figure out what's going on in his head, and both of them have ZERO faith in their Mother being there when they need her, I've also done my best to let them know if they DO need someone I'll always be there, I often joke that I'm the in house therapist because I'm Extremely calm and won't snap at anyone while listening to everyone's problems and letting them blow off steam, however I also tell them if they do anything wrong to the point I get angry then whatever they did was REALLY bad, never been angry yet thankfully.
I'm having a problem like right now with family yes... and my chest hurts so bad. This is so timely. Gdi. I love this page so much. I feel like I'll be okay and I'm not alone. (I want to just leave whenever there's a problem but still feel bad about it).
In my family : 1. Miscommunication that leads to misunderstandings 2. One-sided respect 3. Swearing & mocking at me almost everyday 4. Privacy only applicable sometimes 5. "Affection? What is that?" I learned all of those important points in this video outside my house. I'm struggle to understand those points from friends or even strangers. That's why I often prioritize them more than my family. Look, I'm thankful for family provided place to live, food & other material necessity... But I often feels like a livestock who treated badly emotionally speaking.
living with a mom who did all of these things and more has caused me to feel unable to express my feelings without literally gaslighting myself. im constantly doubting myself and feeling like im being overdramatic, that im blowing things out of proportion, and sometimes i even question if things in my memory are actually real or if they're made up. i even have convinced myself that my husband merely tolerates me and feels obliged to stay with me even though i am a ball and chain around him. if anyone has any tips on how to deal with these issues (aside from therapy) pls let me know.
I had discomfort sometimes with my mum too. My dad can be really strict sometimes and my mum could be critical of my dad and I. All it takes is communication and boundaries
We know some of you requested videos on toxic family, so we thought we go ahead and release this. Perhaps, it will help someone out there feel heard. Let us know if we've been posting too much as well and we will slow down.
Noo keep on posting
hi can u do shout outs?
I think that the rate at which you are releasing videos is okay with me, as long as its not exhausting for you and the team
Thank you for posting this.. 😊
But please keep posting 🥺❤️
I have a toxic family. I relate to all of the points shown in this video. It surprises me to even think that some people actually have caring parents. I wish I could know how it feels to have a loving family. I don't even know what being loved feels like.
Same like bre, its like my mom is my step mom since most of them are evil.
And thats y i get confused when or if the love i ever wanted approaches, ofcs nobody cares now since am a nobody , 0 friends and a dysfunctional family and ive been depressed for weeks having suicidal thoughts but im still here. i hope soon to get a job and collect enough money never to crawl back in this shell of hell
@@shakurwonders5216 I wish you the best of luck in your life and I really hope things get better for you
@Making Memories Collecting Moments Thank you.❤️ It feels good to know that there are people who know how I feel ❤️
SAMEEEE I always tear myself down thinking I’m doing something wrong bc it’s just like why can’t you love me like what did I do wrong
I think the absolute worst thing about being raised in a toxic environment is competing with the ones who weren't. They just have a different, positive energy to them, they have big plans for the future, and they think the best about themselves. They don't have to spend hours and hours crying or recovering from all the emotional abuse.
I get you. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to grow up in those “perfect” homes. Is there such a place? I wonder about that. Or are they just not talking about it?
I still have a lot of problems considering have a loving family and you still will. Everyone will and I have a lot too and it's hard, you just need someone to help you vent, it makes a HUGE difference wether you have a loving family or not
MAN I can't tell you how much I think about this so much. Ones who didn't grow up in an abusive home truly do have a huge advantage over someone who did grow up in an abusive home. It's even more depressing when you think about it...
@@raycutler2524 That depends though I have a loving family I still have one too many problems and even family ones at that, and even if I still feel love they're still way too many problems for me to focus on.
dude your comment opened my eyes a bit, comparing myself to people who have so much support when my own family try to put me down at every turn isn't good for me, hope you all the best !
I was never shown respect because "respect is earned, not given", however I was forced to show respect at all times because "you're supposed to always give your parents respect, they don't need to earn it."
Family members are dumb and aggressive over anything. They know nothing
😬 Feel that one. 😬
I absolutely understand
Everything on this list hits home, and actually today I decided to have “The Toxic Talk” with my mom. It was a mess as you could imagine. The toxic habits I’m trying to shake off to this day are the same ones my parents have failed to deal with. My mom is not open to reason at all currently. I want to speak with my dad on this too to hear his side. My parents are acting aloof as well. My mom is becoming very defensive towards expressing myself, and I keep getting my word turned against me, guilted, and yelled at. I hope we can all come to a close on this eventually.
I wish you so much luck! Doing this step is not so easy sometimes, and you're really brave for this.
Good luck
Thank you for sharing this
I know it’s easier said than done, but I assure you, it’s *NOT SELFISH TO LEAVE THOSE WHO **_CONSTANTLY_** HURT YOU.*
You are not a punching bag, you are a human being with a life, and it’s never too late to leave, and in the end, it’s YOUR life, not theirs. You don’t belong to anyone.
Thank you for sharing this
@@Psych2go thank YOU for these videos. 💜💜💜
I am a punching bag for my family except for my father
I am a punching bag for all of my family. They will never understand. They will never support. They will never love me. They don't love me. They show that they don't. As much as I had love towards them, I cannot trust them anymore. I was SA-d by the boy in i think 6th or 7th grade. And I was beaten up because of that. I was cut out from my dream college, cut out from having driving lessons, cut out from social life. At one point I thought I will never find a person to love me because of them. Now I know I won't. I have a husband who I assume that he will leave me when he gets a chance to. And our families are mostly in that relationship. I hate my life every single day. I'm pregnant with baby 2. And I think it became somehow my safezone. Until it wasn't because we're in my family's house. And my husband is great with them. I'm scared that they'll complain about me not going out of the house, I'm too depressed to go out. Life with them now is making me depressed. Everyone has their own reasons. But hell no me. I'm always a punchbag for their issues. Still I am. And I want to move out as soon as possible, but we are struggling with money. I hope we will somehow get out of that situation. I can't take it anymore.
For anyone struggling in toxic homes: Once you find your way out. Learn to reparent yourself. Acknowledge the ways that you may have been affected and how it’s affecting you in your life. Provide yourself the space and the grace to work diligently on yourself. Everything won’t be perfect once you’re out of the home, it actually may be worse due to unhealthy upbringing. But know that it’s only a stage if you allow it to be. Work on your morals, values, and passions. Find people who will love you, but make sure your love for yourself isn’t compromised. Use your weaknesses as a challenge to overcome, and definitely find someone to support you (I.e. a therapist). If you’re in college take advantage of the counselors ( it’s in your fees). Life is what you make it. No one else can make the decisions for you, not even if they try.
I appreciate this. Thank you.
Any ideas for imposter syndrome when i leave my house
Thank you for this💕💕💕💕
thanks
yea this advice could really work for people who need it and can access it because i'm pretty sure there are those people who are denied the ability to speak out about their problems either by fear or force
An underrated of toxic family: not helping you with anything.
After all these years of trying to tell myself I'm just seeking excuses to be special, I am finally able to accept that, as much as my family has given me a good life, they have also caused a huge impact on my mental health, and are the prime reason of all my insecurities and issues. Not all toxic people act toxic all the time, and as much as you feel you owe them love for all the good stuff, you're also entitled to feel bad about them, and that's okay
thank you
Point plus facts
TIMESTAMPS
0:38 #1 Communication
1:23 #2 Respect
2:22 #3 Criticism
3:15 #4 Privacy
4:10 #5 Affection
Hope this helped!
Thx
Mine is toxic for each one of them lol
Thx u 💕 xoxo
@@davidliu2243 Ditto all those. Must run in lius
Mine is very toxic for all. I have distanced myself.
My parents ticked off a lot of the toxic traits, but what I most lingered on was the affection. We do show affection, but most times it feels forced, fake and empty.
Relatable experience indeed
Relatable
Relateable
Relatable
And when someone shows real affection, you know instantly.
I just want to say that I'm never gonna treat my kids the way my parents did to me. The way they raised me is just some kind of hell i went through, yet I've managed to learn the good habits from the good people I meet around outside my home. Whenever i go out, I feel like I'd never come back. I talk to my friends about their families, how they treat them what are they like, and I really envy them. I'm just waiting till I go out for my studies in a different city. It's not nice here :)
Watching this made me realize that I was truly in a toxic situation concerning my family. When I finally decided to speak up about how tired I've grown of being blamed for everything and not heard, they made it seem like I was crazy. I love with my dad now so at times I visit my mother and her husband but 2 weeks ago the trauma hit me. It made me realize that we never truly discussed the fact that our home was not a healthy one and it hurts because they choose to not be open minded. I know parents have their own trauma to deal with but its no excuse to take it out on your children.
The older I get, the more I have come to realisation that my family is very toxic. It’s breaks my heart everytime when I think back that my parents used to read my diaries and go through my drawers, and the smirk my mother had when I confronted her, she would always say things like “ so what , I went through your things, I’m your mother, I have rights to know what my child is up to.” My dad, till these days, still doesn’t believe mental health. His mindset about mental issues is that as long as no one in the family is known to have such a “thing”, then I’m not supposed to have it. It’s “ other people’s illness” . I spent years going to therapy and I can’t even tell them about what I think. I stopped talking to them a few years ago, and I’m slowly healing. It’s a long and difficult process, some days it gets so hard to get through, And I feel alone during these difficult times. I just wish I could have a family that could respect me and love me instead of putting me down all the time and dismissing my feelings.
Same here. I tried and still try to fix, but sometimes, you can’t fix a cut that is already in too deep. But I still have to endure this. My parents said that I need to finish college and get a good degree, have a good job that *they* accept, but until then, I can’t leave the house or live by myself.
Remember, your family does not have to be related by blood. Sometimes, your friends become your family.
Girl i know this might be difficult, but you should move out or just think of moving out < 3
I wouldn’t have minded if my mother just read my diaries but she would read them and mock me and slut shame me for literal thoughts 😐 I’m an eleven year old little girl like how unnecessarily cruel is that
And she wonders why we don’t talk
You are right to go no contact, even though it's always hard, but it's a vote for YOU. It feels weird to see families where parents care and show respect and validate their kids' feelings, and you see it and know you had nothing like it. You will always mourn that but you can't change your family or teach them anything. Move on. Surround yourself with loving, respectful and kind people, even if you might be alone sometimes before that happens- an opportunity to think, to be good to yourself. In your life you will find other caring individuals who provide what your parents failed at, people who mother you or father you in the best way, who show respect and think of your feelings. It happens at the most unexpected times.
*FRIENDLY REMINDER* | Every day is a new opportunity, so get going and make the most of it.
Thanks for sharing! :D
@@Psych2go I'm Honored 😊
Not that easy
I can totally relate to this 100%. I have been in a toxic family for a majority of my life, so thanks so much for sharing this info. ❤️
Glad it was helpful!
Growing up in a generational toxic family opens your eyes to a lot of things
I totally agree on the toxic family points. I’m raised in the toxic life. It’s not helping with my mental health, my impulsive suicidal thoughts. But I don’t stay at home most of the time. I just walk around and head home late to sleep haha. To avoid communication and all.
Just ignore them and build yourself
@@Unknown-wb1bf that’s why I just head out of my house and do what makes those negativity be out of my body with doing what I love. Hehe. I should be okie.
@@adnanaddu76adnan35 yeahh I will thanks
Stay strong! We love you!
Please don’t hurt yourself, suicide is a way of ending your life but you will be missed greatly, get help asap! Talk to a counselor at school, the school nurse, a trusted teacher. Ask for help!!! It can get better, don’t give up!!!!!
I want to move out from my parents home, but every time I bring up the idea to my mom, she starts saying that she will ignore me as if I never existed only because I decided to "abandon" her first. I really love my mom, and I wish to do everything I can to make her happy, but ever since she told me that, I've been having a lot of panic attacks and no apatite for weeks.
i wish you the best
Follow your goals, honey. You can’t live for her and you CAN live without her. Do not become victim to this. Not to sound harsh, but give her the same energy. It’s much easier said than done, but if she threatens to ignore you, ignore her. She can’t control you for the rest of your life. I’m not saying that you can’t love her. Please still love her and keep a good heart. But also live for you. One day you’ll get older and wish that you did. She living her life, it’s time you live yours.
Your mom sounds selfish and controlling :(
That's manipulative tactic because your mother thinks she owns you or as extension of herself. You're not abandoning her, just leaving the nest. I'm sure u care about her. It's time to care about yourself. You can't make her happy in any way.
Move out it's not her life it's urs if ur mom truly loved u she wouldn't ignore u
Being raised in a toxic household, it took 19 years for me to leave that house and realize it wasn’t a home. I spent my whole life defending my family to anyone who dared question their motives, but with the help of therapy and physically being removed from the environment, I have finally found my freedom.
To anyone who also relates to the points made in this video, please know that your feelings are valid and you don’t deserve the treatment you receive. One day you can leave the environment and spread your wings. Stay strong and have hope, I know it isn’t easy. I’m still reeling from my own toxic family, but I can tell you that my life has significantly improved by acknowledging that my family is indeed toxic.
Thank you for this video and for validating my feelings ❤ I hope this video helps everyone as much as it did me :)
I never realized the way I was raised was toxic. I thought it was normal. So anytime I'd open up to other people about my home life they would give me a concerned look.
All 5 of these, came out as toxic for me.
They aren't as bad as they used to be. But, the hurt is still there and that fear is. I'm 23 and still can't be too open about my feelings and opinions in that household. I love my family, but they are very overwhelming.
Going through this, I never had access to being able to take control of my life or my anxiety and depression.
Its gotten worse over the years, but I'm getting help .
This video came at a perfect timing because I am going through that right now. I try to be happy and smile for once, but then my family HAS to go and ruin my good day. I don't understand why. I have been depressed, anxious, and more mixed emotions since I was 15 just 2 months before my 16th birthday. I will be 18 in a few months and I will NEVER stop having panic or anxiety attacks, nor will I ever probably stop being so depressed. These videos are amazing keep up the wonderful work!
Try to find a way to leave them and sever ties. I know that sounds impossible but it is the only way your central nervous system will calm down and your anxiety will stop. You’re a beautiful and normal human being and they are the ones who are messed up. They look at you and you remind them of what they are not and will never be. Try and leave them and give yourself a few years to heal and you will see these people in a much different light and more than likely you will never want to see them again. Family means nothing when they treat you like dirt.
My sister always ruin my day too :’(
Hey, you've got this :)
@@then00btitan96 Same :"
Some toxic parents hate seeing you be happy and will do what they can to ruin your mood. Once you leave, you can go off and be happy and good parents will be happy for you but bad ones will be angry and jealous.
The 2nd one is so incredibly true my mom was always a “shut up I’m right your just a kid” type of parent I was the biggest mamas boy growing up but when I realized how much she thought she deserved respect and didn’t give me any in return I slowly started to hate her we are still on bad terms 5 years after I moved out but I’m glad we are still on bad terms because it shows that she only “loved” me when she had power over me
Sadly many parents only have kids to have someone they can feel they have control and power over. I'm sorry this happened to you.
I relate to this. I always was the best daughter who did everything right. And this is what my parents were like to me. And now I'm not the perfect daughter since I've grown and understood that my parents were not the all-knowing people I thought they were, and they know I noticed and don't like it.
Oh i see :( Glad you are doing well now!
my mom thinks she is superior and knows everything cause shes an adult.
Exactly how my mom isssssss 😭😭😭 i can't move out i don't wanna move out i mean i do but my parents make me feel like i need them and i have to stay. 😭 I'll feel guilty for even clicking the block bottom 😭
Cool video
I grew up with a very toxic mother. This video summarized my upbringing. The constant yelling , the belittling , the lack of anything positive to say, the overall lack of respect, the lack of any positive reinforcement , the physical abuse , it was all there. My mother is the template for all women as far as I am concerned. Even at my age I keep women at a distance and cannot form any romantic relationships ( no , I am not gay).
I came from a toxic family, and I identify with most of the toxic traits you mentioned, especially in my childhood. Now, things are changing and I think there are a couple of things that are on a healthy side, such as Privacy, Communication and Affection. Criticism and Respect is still a work in progress. What's tough is that with my parents, one of them has mostly outgrown the toxic traits and turned them into healthy traits, while the other one is still mostly around the toxic side, hence I can't have a complete change. Anyway, I really like this topic, so thanks so much for the insight! :)
That’s why as a 16 year old I don’t have a family we separated from them becuase they love money and they don’t value family and love and my dad left me for another women and my mom was by herself and she managed my whole childhood and then my mom passed away when I was 12 which was tough for 12 years she looked after me on a teachers salary and my brother worked in America to earn more money to look after us so it’s only me and my brother and I’m grateful for everything he’s done and sacrificed for me
Value your loved ones everyday ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so sorry for everything that had happened. I’m wishing the best for you ❤️
@@JenayWhoQuit thank you so much may god bless you and your family and stay safe sending lots of love ❤️
Aww thnks for sharing your story.
Your brother is hero and your mom must had been a very strong angel!!
Thank you for sharing this
I experienced this toxic treatment at home which is also now playing out in my "marriage". It's horribly unsafe emotionally, spiritually psycholigically and mentally. I am working on myself to build up the self worth and self compassion to leave. Staying is definitely like drinking poison, slowly dying. No point being a martyr.
My best friend has a toxic parent and a healthy parent. The mom is somebody who looks like a good parent but is a manipulative monster. The dad is stuck helping her and her kids. Her little sister is a mini version of the mom and makes her sisters life a living hell. I will send this to her and show her she's not alone ♥️
My father shows 4/5 of the toxic things. My dad always feels the need to criticize everything that i do if its not what he thinks. Im not allowed to think for myself on front of him and he never considers the feelings of anyone else, being the narcissist he is. I constantly have to hide everything, since i know i would just get yelled at again, so my only comfort is with my friends, or somewhere that isn't home. He supoorts me sith physical needs like food and shelter, but destroys me emotionally of the inside. He also has the feeling that I have to be like him, think like him, and have him the one that has to be in power. Watching this video taught me alot, so Thank you for that :)
This video helped me a lot. I'm 24 and the stress of extremely toxic parents has token a toll on my mental and physical health for years. I've been to the ER, cardiologists looked at everything to have them figure out why i've been fainting and horrendous chest pains and palpitations and I finally realized it's all because of my parents and the stress that they add onto my life. Constantly being put down, always told that I'm wrong, being raised in nothing but chaos every day and being blamed for it all. No care, no support. I would literally break out in stress hives all over my body. It's so friggin crazy how much your emotional health can affect your physical. I'm so glad my step dad finally came and saw how awful my mom treated me and told me I am not wrong for anything that occurred and now he copletely understands. One thing I do wish P2G would touch on is what to do if youre in these situations. Like maybe make a separate channel for it? I feel like that would be super helpful. Absolutely great video regardless tho
Glad we could help you!
My family is all of these 😃 it’s so accurate I’m honestly scared, the last one actually made me cry knowing that my family usually pays no attention to me or barely interacts with me outside of the basic stuff like “come eat dinner” or “wake up for school”
growing up i always knew i was in a toxic household. i would go over to my friends house and see how they function as an actual unit while allowing their kids to be an individual. my parents simply think of their kids as an extension of themself and think they own their lives just because they brought a child into this world.
When they hide their hatred it is even more toxic than any direct abuse... It is venom pure. Many Thanks!!🌏🌈💗🌞💚👍🎁!!
I donno, I think I'd prefer passive aggressive over actual aggression.
Glad we could help!
~>time stamps!!!!
🌸 1- 0:38 Communication •
🌸2- 1:22 Respect •
🌸3- 2:21 Criticism •
🌸4- 3:14 Privacy •
🌸5- 4:10 Affection •
the animations are so adorable as always 😭 ty for the daily uploads
Hey! Where do you get those emojis?! They're so cute 🥺
@@starfire73 You have to get the channel membership.
@@hugs4dee ha! GAAAAAAAAAY
:_PSICheers:
@@hugs4dee ohh ok.tq💗
It's so sad how all the Toxic points shown on the video relates to my family. At first, I thought it was a normal life I'm currently in, but after watching this and searching, I think otherwise. Thank you for this amazing video, stay safe :)
I relate to all of the points in terms of a family dynamic. I understand it’s because they’ve had bad stuff happen to them but it doesn’t excuse the fact they project that fear onto me. I feel kinda sad cause I’ve had to act like an adult for them essentially and I’m only 17 years old. I just wish that if I have a family, it won’t be the same because i got my childhood robbed from me…
1. Healthy communication
2. Respect
3. Healthy Criticism
4. Healthy privacy, boundaries
5. Healthy affection
First time I don't get at least one topic of a psych2go video u,u all those 5 are dysfunctional in my home
@@eltiobry3859 Its so sad to hear that. Sometimes i am experiencing some toxic traits too. I just focus on me and my goals and mind my own business and i limit my interaction unless they are not saying attacking words and not violating my boundaries. Stay kind and gentle with yourself. Cut off people and circumstances that doesnt give you your best interest at hand.
Ty!
Toxic in all categories and yet I can send my siblings this video to try an understand me but they tell me not to send them this. My parents are very old fashioned and unfortunately I check yes to all the toxic things you’ve mentioned in this video. It really breaks my heart because they always put me down and compare me to others. Because of that i drink a lot and smoke a lot of cigarettes I wish my family understood me. I’m losing faith and just feel depressed all the time. I really don’t know what to do anymore
Consider this: why are your siblings thoughts your responsibility? You've tried to convince them but they decide to ignore it.
Families can be messed up (like mine) but you've gotta consider yourself and your own happiness.
@ Jay Kriss:💑💪🤝🙏💌
Related to all of these in some way. I grew up in a toxic household, and it was only after I moved out last year that I started to learn and realize how toxic it was. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as other people go through, yet it still had negative impacts on me. My mom is a narcissist who believes in comparative suffering, and my dad just became a punching bag for her verbal abuse when the kids aren't around. I was demanded to give respect but never got any, was criticized more as I got older, felt no sense of privacy, showed very little affection, and my parents are terrible at communication. I'm still healing, learning to pay attention to my inner child, and hope to seek out therapy soon.
This came at a perfect time. I grew up with my Mom's toxic family after my Dad died. Always gaslighted, shamed, and everytime I opened up to them I get backstabbed. I even am the escape goat to their problem.
From 11 yrs old-22 years old, I felt like I was a puppet. Then I made the decision to go abroad to study in Nursing School. The best decision I have ever made in my life!
After nursing school, The pandemic hit and it took me 2 years to fix my papers in order to return back home with my degree. During the two years, I lived independently and focused on fixing all of my bad habits & past traumas. All the negative thoughts I had about myself were originated from my Mom and her sibblings.
When I returned home, there was the one week honey moon phase... then it just began to turn to what I feared.
It's like nothing has changed! No matter what I did or done... I always get ridiculed. Like I taught myself how to survive in a foreign country and I return home and they treat me like a piñata.
The only difference is that this 29 year old man lived life during the pasy 6-7 years away from them.. and that I can stand up for myself. That and I have a social support team that understand my situation. Finally, I am no longer shacked with the fear of failure. I use my mistakes and screw ups as an opportunity yo grow.
Lately, I have been distancing myself from my family especially my Mom. She rather be correct than to fix the problem. She has no clue about her surroundings. Always puts the blame game and always picks fights with everyone.
As for my mom's sibblings... everytime I open up to them I get backstabbed.
I'm like their escape goat for all their problems that are beyond my control.
As of right now my back is up against the wall. I'm 29 years old with no career (Trying to be a Registered Nurse with my degree I worked so hard for), I live with my toxic non-loving/non-supporting family, failed the NCLEX ( had pneumonia & omicron + family drama projected towards me affected my performance), no money (Still getting allowance from my step dad because I am strictly focusing on retaking the NCLEX), and I'm a bit out of shape. (My body is still readapting to the weather here in NY compared to the Philippines.)
I'm doing everything in my power to keep me sane. Journaling, reading the bible, praying, listening to podcasts, sleep hypnosis, calling my friends & love ones that loves me & appreciates me, working out, yoga, and just walking outside to appreciate nature outside because the weather is getting better. Even distancing myself from my own family. Lately I've been going out to the library more to study and have that peace of mind.
Despite all of that, there have been times that my anger fluctuates and I have thesr unnecessary revengeful thoughts that I would not dare even attempt... let alone to my bloodline... even though they are all narcisstic pricks.
My only ticket to get out of this toxic environment is to pass the NCLEX so I can work as a Registered Nurse. Eventually I'll buy myself a car and get myself an apartment.
It's been a long journey and I'm still recovering from that 2 week emotional rollercoaster. (Heck I'm being labeled as a failure for passing the NCLEX and I know nothing).
I pray that I never be like that or succumb to all the bad habits that negative people that I had to deal with.
I also pray that nobody goes through what I have been going through since I was 11 years old and I'm now 29 years old. Time flies.
Wish me luck and God bless this channel and everyone here trying to heal. 🙏🏼
you shouldnt call them narcissistic pricks though, people cant help being narcissists and it is very stigmatizing!
I hope you got out and found independence and peace of mind.
“Why don’t you ask me for things you need?”
“Cos my mom would yell at me when I asked”
Healing someone with trauma is hard but doable it just takes time.
This hits home...
Living with toxic family dynamics can feel overwhelming at times. It's important to know that being in a toxic family is not your fault, and it's not something you should be ashamed of. If you’ve recognized toxic patterns in your family, consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you explore the effects of toxicity and offer guidance as you consider how to manage the situation.
*When they hide their hatred it is even more toxic than any direct abuse... It is venom pure. Many Thanks!!🌈*
Haha, ya, my parents and most of my extended family is like this
I realized early on that normal families are supposed to express affection in some form, but all I was told is 'our family's British, we're just like that.' I also grew up not understanding how to deal with stress, and every time I would approach my mother about being stressed out, she'd say 'What do you have to be stressed about?' in a tone that made it seem like I was uber ungrateful for what I had. It took me sitting at work in my early twenties, deciding to read a downloadable survival booklet on my phone (where the first thing they detailed was the symptoms of extreme stress) to realize I have been horrifically stressed for YEARS.
I marvel at how everyone else with a even slightly normal family say they still love their parents/family after arguments or whatever, even if they do f*cked up sh!t, but, like, I do not feel that. I've never felt that for as long as my early teens. It's mindboggling to even consider, considering what they've done. I'm always told 'but they're your mother/father/etc', 'you only have one', 'always be there for family.' And I'm like 'No, why would I choose to just keep accepting toxic people in my life?'
It's practically an abusive relationship. I don't gaf if they birthed/raised/fed/sheltered me. I will not be Pavlov's dogs stuck with negativity but praying for those brief respites of positivity.
Sorry for rambling💚
I'm usually afraid to talk about this kind of stuff, but all of the 5 signs of a toxic family mentioned in this videos literally sums up my family relationship and dynmaic. At this point I dont even want my Family to show me affection, I just want them to at least understand how I feel and know what I want.
Ikr
Wanted to see how bad my family was and think them hitting every toxic point is more concerning than I expected -w-‘
So yeah definitely going with cutting off, thanks for making it clear just how bad they are
Understandable
Turns out i live in a toxic family… i always HATED my family but never expected this to be the truth. It is rly painful to know…
I have a very toxic family and unfortunately have nowhere to go so I have to live with them. I'm 27 and dealing with depression. Everyone judges me because I'm this "old" and have nothing achieved like most people, it's hard living this way with so much toxicity around me but if I don't live then what? Please pray for me 😔 I wish to myself and to anyone who's dealing with mental health problems and depression to go through it and find peace and if possible to be truly happy. 🙏
I hope u found a way...and are in a better place now. Sometimes depression is situational.
This came up as soon as I was talking to my partner about how horrible his family is. His family is all the toxic things this has said. and I try to tell him it's not ok, but he just ignores it and won't accept it.
We need more of these type of videos. Toxic parents r growing to be more common and yet these topics are avoided most of the time by some people thinking "children are just being lazy and ungrateful"
A healthy family will provide you space as well as fulfil your emotional needs, and you really won't have any complain against them. Wish society cared more about children's and teens' mental health, lots of us are depressed and going through a tough time by ourselves and we don't even have anyone to talk to about it😔
I just want y'all to know that you will get through this tough time and will be able to move out once you're older. For now focus on yourself, motivate yourself & work hard for your career so that u can be independent. And if possible avoid your parents as much as u can, don't give them your precious time and attention if they don't deserve it. I tried this & my mental health is much better than before, I'm now more confident too and i don't need my parents to do everything for me.
I hope everyone in the comments will find people someday who truly loves and respects them. Stay strong. Fighting☺❤💜
Sounds good!
Is so sad, we need higher standards for parenting
Parenting requires a lot of effort in understanding children you can't just tell a kid to shut up just because they don't agree with you, we need to realize that are kids aren't smaller versions of us
we should allow them to grow happy and healthy we should want our kids to respect but not fear us, or feel like we're treating them like servants
Too many expectations, constant projection and more.
But remember: There are no bad people, only limiting beliefs.
My “family” ticks off every toxic box in this video. Because of this my siblings and I are estranged. I’ve reached a point where I feel the “healthy” family dynamic is fake or forced. I have a friend who comes from a good family. He finds it very hard to understand my background. I get frustrated with him and constantly having to explain that I don’t want to talk about it without going into detail as to why.
In my family there are serious issues of respect and criticism. Usually the criticism is overblown and communicating and giving advice respectfully is a problem. Communication of your needs easily turns into an invitation for disrespect or a yelling match. Thanks for this video though. Still helps.
I'm really glad that my family is a healthy family. Thank you for letting me know that! I love my family even more now 😊
you are very lucky, not like me🙂
you are so lucky to have a Healthy family 😭🙂
You're very lucky dude
Not all people get healthy environment and life. I'm happy for you
@@flqr2019 aw tysm ^^
Glad to hear that!
I come from a family so toxic, that the best thing to do is distance yourself, and they even hinder you of that ability with all of their will
Sometimes, the person who said there's no place like home is a liar.
Toxic family for me--
My mom, aunts and cousins will always criticize me for my body and for my dreams and what I want. Overtime I've learned to hate my mom side of the family (I never met my dad's side) and I'm so happy that they started to cut communications with us once a fight between me and one of my older cousins broke out.
Things are slowly getting better with my mom but sometimes things would probably just go off the haywire. I'm happy she's slowly learning to take faults and apologize. doesn't mean I'll forget everything that she's done to me but I forgive her.
At the moment I'm trying to help my other friends that live in toxic families giving them comfort, being there when they need me and telling them that once they're older they'll be able to leave their toxic family. It's not much but it's the best I can do.
And to anyone reading this if you're going through a hard time at home. It's going to be okay you'll get through this you're strong in your own way! Light will always shine through even when it seems impossible. Don't give up and stay strong! :) ❤️
Thank you for sharing this
Toxic!
I have known this for a long time but whenever I get to the point that my family is toxic, it just feels so normal.
Same 🙃
The last point, there’s also the toxic showing of “love”, saying things like ‘I love you’ are mandatory, you HAVE to hug your parents, even if you’re clearly uncomfortable with being touched. It’s hard to think about and hard to spot when it’s normal to you especially when it feels like a routine, it was even harder to realize it having been through it as well.
Wow I guess you just helped me figure out how toxic my parents are and how respectful my brother is
I'm experiencing this right now because I'm about to graduate college. leaving positive support systems at college to a lonely and toxic home. It's very sad leaving such a happy place but I have to move on.
I hate having to feel uncomfortable with my family, even my mom who is honestly much better than my dad. I never tell them anything, and I'm always upset when after-school events or practices are cancelled, because I like hanging out outside of my home. I hate coming home from school on a regular day because it's only my dad there, because I swear as soon as I step foot inside the house I get yelled at for something. I really want to be able to be comfortable with telling my parents stuff and not be yelled at for accidentally shutting the door too hard lol
Thank you for sharing this
My neck hurts from all the aggressive nodding I did on the toxic family bits.5/5 on all toxic traits.
0:38 Communication
1:23 Respect
2:22 Criticism
3:15 Privacy
4:10 Affection
Hope its helps♡
Stay strong ☆
I’m just gonna put this out there. If you want advice on how I still handle this, comment below:
I grew up with a single mom. She separated from my biological dad when I was 2 and I grew up with my younger sister. She tried to hide the existence of my dad when I was a teen, but saw right through her & when I turned 20 I finally met him (she was mad as Hell along with her side of the family). I still resent her to this day for that as well as other things I won’t mention she did to me as a kid and how she wanted me to be a person that I didn’t want to be (basically I couldn’t be myself with her, I had to be what SHE wanted me to be). I still live with her because of circumstantial reasons & would like to move out or find a trusted person to live with.
1. Communication - she is demanding, you can’t have even a simple conversation because it quickly turns into a yell fest, anything she says is just criticism of you or judgement, and she is a bad listener. Sometimes she cuts you off when you talk or won’t listen to what you have to say. “It’s my way and that’s it because I said so”. She’s still bad at communication to this present day.
2. Respect - it was the “you respect me because I deserve it & im the parent…”blah blah blah BS. We could never talk back, ask no questions, question her authority, etc. It was her way and her way only. She’s very closed minded and continues to be today.
3. Criticism - I remember in middle school I got an F on a fractions test & the teacher said my mom had to sign it. I didn’t want to go home that day because I knew she was gonna yell at me. My teacher made me go home & I faced the music. It wasn’t pretty. She’s also told me things like “you’ll never amount to anything” and…”you’re never gonna get a drivers license” and laughed in my face (I found out later the doctors told her this when I was a kid). All my certifications I have she’s like “what are you going to do with those? They’re useless if you don’t have a job with them?” “Why do you keep changing your careers? Why don’t you make up your mind!!” - Never supportive, always degrading and chastising me and judging me and everything around her. She even criticizes commercials! “That guy looks stupid why is he in a commercial” “what a dumb commercial I hate it”….ugh it’s like vomit always comes out when she talks
4. Privacy - Never had it. Always on me about where I go, who I be with…when my sister would run away I wouldn’t say anything and she’d try to get the truth out of me. I had notebooks and toys and stuffed bears as a kid. I would hide them under the bed. When I’d be at school she would go through me and my sisters stuff and throw it away. When she said what she did, I would cry for hours under the empty bed. I hardly have anything but a few things from my childhood.
5. Affection - Hardly. Whatever I felt as a child were just the motions I went along with because I was stupid. She and her family also take me for granted because I do favors and help them, but what’s the thanks I get? Being alienated, the disgrace, the embarrassment, & the black sheep of the family.
This is the definition of a toxic PARENT. I have friends whose families treat me BETTER than my own BIOLOGICAL EGG DONOR!!! it’s pathetic. She’s never happy with my decisions & what I do, will never accept who I am as a person and will only do so to save face in public.
But I’ve come to accept who I want to be, my beliefs, my values, morals, ethics, and learned that you either hate me or love me.
I went through something familiar. I learn that all my emotions are valid, there are no bad or good emotions, just pleasant or uncomfortable emotions, when you learn to not judge yourself and accept you pace will come, just let go of all the anger by letting yourself feel. It worked for me.
omg i went through the same thing. i also met my father when i was 20 because my mom tried to keep him away from me. i also still live with her. ur comment is reading about my own life.
That happened to my dad and my step brother!
I can totally relate to all of it i even thought of leaving the house or wanting to disappear from this world but i just can't do it for some reason
The only thing that keeps me going is playing games, watching anime and reading some Manga/LN/WN
Being around my family and relatives is so suffocating. I swear, when I grow up, I am going to move out and I am going to break all connections with them. And to be honest with all of you, they are at a point of no turning back because they are just not ready to accept that they are the ones in the wrong because they think that they are always in the right and the person who is pointing out their mistakes is the person who is wrong and I know that this is really toxic and trust me it very much is. And because of all this I hate them but all of them hate me twice as much without a reason. My aunt, my grandparents my uncles, my parents my cousins all of them are so so so toxic.
This has made me want to avoid any relationships that I may potentially have in my future, like friends and lovers. Just the idea of a relationship makes me sick to the stomach because of them. And that is also why I want to be alone forever and not have a relationship ever again in my life.
My family was toxic to the core. Everything described in this video nails it. Especially about the invasion of privacy and the constant, toxic criticism.
My ex turned my children away from me by basically kidnapping them and using parental alienation against me. I am surviving well, but it has meant blocking all those family members. My children are grown now, and I believe they are finally seeing the truth. But they are still so brain washed. I am the targeted parent that cries myself to sleep every night. I hope my children will know one day just how much I love them. I never talk bad about their toxic father but he is so cruel about anything related to me. Being a survivor sometimes means life gets very lonely. I message them every day telling them how much I love them. I am healing and I pray my children do too!!!
🤲 that it happens and your children become close to you and be confident that they be a strong support for you all the life and after it. Just be calm and relax it’s hard but it could change. I was sad that one of my family members didn’t get treated well and get far from us in some shape. But your comment made me realise that I am not alone.
@@ahmedalhamadi1231 JazakAllahKheir☮
@@EllenCPickle You too JazakallahKheir.
@@ahmedalhamadi1231 you are not alone. I had to look a second time at my comment. I thought I posted on mufti menk. SubhanAllah. Everything happens for a reason.
@@EllenCPickle Now that made me smile and laugh. haha. Barak allah Pheik (God bless you).
My mom always showed love and support when she was alive. My stepmom and my dad are polar opposites and basically root against me. It sucks but therapy helps me be able to not feel so alone
Even though I know my family dynamics are toxic I still wanted to watch this video for the comments, just to relate to someone, my parents aren’t that toxic but it’s my grandparents and we pretty much live with them I feel I’m going insane because of the games they play and the worst part is that no one is allowed to confront them so basically they can do whatever and say whatever and it just slides I’m so exhausted I just want to move out. I don’t know who to talk to because no one understands or they’ll just say you need to confront your grandparents when I literally can’t and I don’t want to trauma dump.
It's actually a misfortune of mine that i have been born and living in a toxic family... It's like paying for a crime i haven't even committed not to mention constant beating if not listened and threats to give me poisen and kill me off
This really hit hard for me. My dad was a toxic parent, and right now my parents are going through a divorce because my mum had enough of the relationship and having him ruin everything for everyone, I’m really thankful for that because it was getting really bad for the whole family. I’m lucky that it didn’t turn into physical abuse but my dad was really verbally abusive, ESPECIALLY with criticism and communication. Thank you for sharing this information on the internet, for people to learn about what’s good and bad in a family, and to help some who may be going through something similar or different realise the little and big things that contribute to a bad relationship
My husband had a bad experience with his family that's why when we get married, he makes sure that we'll not have the same toxic relationship he experienced. I'm grateful that he's consistent through our 10years of marriage. It's just sad that until now his relatives still expects that we will turn out to have the same toxic relationship that he had. And that's why we're also dedicated to prove them wrong💕
He's lucky, that's often not the path people take. It's interesting how toxic parenting has the ability to show a child exactly what they should avoid, yet at the same time, imprint on them those qualities that they themselves learn to associate with love that they have to unlearn.
In my family for example, one of my sisters is a narcissist like my parents, the other is the golden child who gets praised for every small task, becoming a massive pushover, but also the most socially extorverted (extroversion is linked to happiness), my younger brother is dead from suicide (the males were largely neglected raised by our mom) and i'm only now starting to recover, 30 years in. I hope to follow in your husbands foot steps. I guarantee I won't be having 4 kids after knowing a person for 6 months. What pricks.
@@CircumcisionIsChildAbuse you can do it too! Like my husband you have the power to change your situation specially when building a family of your own. Doesn't mean that you were love and raised the wrong way, that you'll end up to be like them. Have faith in yourself...like how I continuously having faith in my husband. I have been blessed to grew up in a loving family that's why it's easier for me to help my husband. I'll pray that you wouldn't be as toxic as your other family members.
BEST of luck! I know you can do it❤️
@@mummyZzz The trick is finding someone with stable attachment, like yourself. When you're socially isolated, it becomes quite difficult, but I can certainly try. I just need to watch out for the red flags. I need someone compassionate, but not a push over who can stand up to me if I do something stupid or mean, but not in a confrontational way, aka communication skills. As someone with high functioning autism, I was frequently physically punished for my behavior. If you're physically abused for being yourself by your mom and dad, it tends to leave traces. but I think I can do it, I've studied enough psychology to know my flaws and try to work on them. thanks for the encouragement. I clearly need a woman that isn't like my mother, the polar opposite of how it usually works.
I imagine you don't get along with your husbands mother.
@@CircumcisionIsChildAbuse YES communication is the key.
Well I met his mom before when we were just dating. Sadly she died bcoz of cancer before we got married. Even though we have a lot of differences, I'm okay with his dad and siblings, maybe bcoz I was raised by my parents to love the good and the bad side of people. What truly matters to me is my husband and our own little family💕
I know someday you'll be blessed with the love and care you deserve🙂
@@mummyZzz thats what I think true love is, loving the person for who they are, while simultaneously encouraging them to be the best version of themselves you know they can be. If there's a mutual exchange of that, it's a pretty strong relationship.
My father doesn't care about my problems or tries to make them into a joke and play them off. My mother, every time I tell her something, always turns it against me. Even if it's not a problem. Like, I'll say I got a good score on a quiz and she'll yell at me over how I should have studied something else because I clearly understand what I was tested on.
My family is quite toxic and sadly I haven’t felt them as a real family for a while now. Especially my mother. She always overthinks, creating those fake scenarios in her head and fights with my dad over it. My dad on the other hand, has a very poor understanding of feelings and how relationships work. He often prefers to keep himself busy with his job, instead of spending time together. He’s not good with words at all, and putting those two personalities together brings nothing good. I share almost nothing about my personal life with them because I know they would judge me. Besides I can’t expect a quality conversation by neither of them.
I have gone through a lot of stuff through my life. Separation (Forced to leave my mom at the age of 3), family members dieing (Father died of overdose), vast amounts of moving (around 8 ish times), Being sexually assaulted and eventually being told my mother is living her life with 3 other kids without much care for me anymore. That's a brief background across my 15 year and counting life. This video in particular hits in multiple aspects perfectly, for example the first point in the video shows what I wish my house hold was like but I go to school just hoping it last as long as possible, dreading coming home due to how I am both treated and forced to do. First point Communication - Yes I am texted once in a while about where or what to do, my opinions are almost invalidated and ignored along with my concerns and feelings.(This has caused many headed arguments and or fights about how I should be treated/or feel). Of course the fights almost never end well, I leave exhausted and more distraught as before and she walks off as of nothing really happened. I of course am forced to ignore the problems and act as if all is OK... Second point Respect - I my self am forced to give respect and act under her rules as if I'm a servant, cleaning, taking care of pets, watching sister, mowing lawns, ext. To an excessive point- like if i have free time it will be spent doing chores for her at any moment. The respect part is ignored for me but I must treat her as a queen because she is my guardian. (Everything in this section past 2:10 is true.) Third point Criticism - This one is less of a problem for my step mom and rather my sister using my flaws as a weapon and a ploy to do her bidding. (Aka minor black maligning me). Fourth point Privacy - When I talk to my grandparents or anyone she doesn't know extremely well she tends to listen on in to my conversation and in some cases question me on my statements. I can also no longer make any new contacts on my phone because she has found a way to stop me from making any others. (Stopping me from keeping in touch with friends.) And lastly Affection - They (my sister and step mom) both guilt trap me by using this by making me feel bad. For example I wanted to relax for a sec at the house while they went shopping but if i chose not to they would say they need me and would want me to go, it will be fun , do you just want to sit home alone. (BTW yes I do). This is barely scratching the surface of what I normally have to endure if any one has a question either reply with a comment or email renewedlocket64@gmail.com
P.S. I have had yet to sleep tonight I've been writing this for an hour its 2:33 rn so don expect a immediate response and good bye.
I am aware it is really long.
@some gamer can we be friends?
🙁💔💔
@@Laura-vn5xf Sure id be glad to make a friend or two.
I feel so bad for you :( I hope everything will get better 🙁💙
I’ve went through all the signs. I’m gonna be 22 now and I’m not sure if I’m too emotionally numb or crying easily is a way of comforting myself.
You are very strong it is okay to cry!
TOXIC!!! Mine was SO bad my mother is dead and i SCREAM at the ceiling how crappy a mother she was!😠They IDOLIZED my younger sister...calling her the pretty one ect. While i was the cook, maid, babtsitter and emotional mental punching bag.
Some of things in this videos actually made me cry because i have never seemed to have them. Such as respect, boundaries, and affection. I cant even remember the last time i got a hug from anyone from my family and it hurts me a lot. I love hugs and i really want to have some since i barely to dont get hugs at all, and its leading me to hug my friends for no reason. I just have this slight feeling im constantly crossing over their boundaries just for a hug that i dont get at home because i usually find it weird when they take a few seconds to hug back. Overall, these videos are really helping me know more about people, my mental health, and so much more. So i thank this channel for this knowledge.
My mom used to be a very toxic part of my life
Limiting time with her to just visits has really helped all of us
Ah yes I'm living with my parents ignoring my Depression.
Thanks, I've been enduring this for 4 years
As a 12 year old girl, I never realized how toxic my family, especially my mom is
Now I’m crying because of the comparison I never knew I needed to see
It genuinely breaks my heart having to see this
"you can't do anything right." that one. heard it everyday.
my parent's idea of respect is basically "listen to whatever I say without bringing up a counterpoint because I'm your parent", and I know this obviously ain't it but I have a bad feeling these misconceptions they bring up so goddamn much are gonna screw me up bad
@@Unknown-wb1bf no cap
5/5 on the toxic side. Yikes. At the same time, I'm fully aware I cannot be 24h under the same roof with my parents. Too many differences between them and I on too many aspects.
I went through a “phase” in my life where I would blame myself for everything, my parents wouldn’t give me any privacy so I was only allowed to talk to ppl my mom knew, and I loved them at first, but then I saw there true selves, let’s just say they all betrayed me, but I decided to break those so called “rules” my mom made, and I made my first ever best friend! Sometimes you just gotta be yourself! Ik like 99% of ppl won’t see this, but if you do I wish you all a blessed life.
My family is extremely toxic and I had to cut every last one of them off. It hurts that I did and I feel so so guilty. My mother used to hit me with closed fists and I still have scars on my hands and arms that all show they're defensive scars. My biological father was never in my life, not even when my mother was pregnant. I always resented him for it. My mother was the worst part of my family. She could be so fake and show an overwhelming amount of affection just to get what she wanted from me. To this day she's fake nice to me and Zelle's me money to guilt trip me into letting her spend time with my kids. When I had my first child, she took her away from me and told me I was never going to be a good mother. I fell into the worst anxiety and depression of my life at that time. I was only 19 when I had my child. I haven't been the same since. I'm turning 29 next week and I still haven't been the same. I have siblings but all they care about is having money and they think I am a waste of their time. I really wish my family wouldn't have had me, my mother said the same, because they never wanted me. I'm the black sheep. I grew up to have so many issues only because of such a messed up family. Thank you for this video.
🙇♂️this helped me understand my family a bit more ty !!
Glad it helped!
I don't talk with my mom anymore. I tried so many times to fix the relationship after I realized that she was being toxic, but I guess a lot of people doesn't change or don't want to change, I tried for years but it didn't get better. I'm much more happy now, and i don't miss her anymore. It's sad at first but I already accepted it.
*5 signs of a toxic family members:*
1. Communication 0:41
2. Respect 0:21
3. Criticism 2:23
4. Privacy 3:20
5. Affection 4:10
I personally have this like #1, 2and 3. Sadly I tend to have these kind of things. So here are the time stamps
Yeah the first one was immidiatly one that happens with me the communication aspect...they straight up say I'm not allowed to have an opinion at. 15...yet...they are tryimg to treat me like an 18 year old. As well as the privacy and beimg ordered around and its a do as I say,but not as I do
Exactly
I cry quite often because i get my feeling basically proven wrong and told its my fault that I'm feeling that way when I express things to them...it makes me feel ragefull and resentful.
so relatable. they don't practice what they preach but expect us to be "perfect"
Facts
@@Zx5x oh god no...
My parents do care a lot, but we do fall into most of these categories, which is very terrifying, in all honesty, I’ve been seeing it lately, the toxicity. It makes me sad with the fact we’re kind of a toxic family in some aspects, but I think we can get better, maybe.
I relate to all the toxic ones :( my parents got divorced when I was pretty young and after that everything went downhill. I grew up with an absent dad who wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend than his kids, my mom had depression and was always angry at my brother and I when something didn't turn out as she desired. I grew up with a lot of emotional abuse and still go through it. I have a good relationship with my dad and mom but she's just... A lot. She's really caring one moment but then I'm only an spoiled brat that deserves to be treated badly and even phisically hurt. Then when she's done with her anger she says "I said nothing to you, that's what mothers do". I'm pretty tired honestly
Good day my dear friend,, How are you feeling today my dear friend and how is the weather over there. ??
Super happy about this video, I've been living with my parents mainly to help with the raising of my Niece & Nephew, this video helps me confirm that I've been doing a damn good job in my part of raising them(wanted to be a dad since I was a kid so this taste of it and practice is good), unfortunately while my Dad has improved by lightyears compared to when I was a kid with my help(he worked out of town ALOT so he didn't get much practice), my Mom has gone downhill greatly, mainly because of her "I did my time raising 4 kids" mentality, it's hard to see since she was so supportive and there for me my whole life, but for these kids it flipped hard, any little thing becomes a huge problem, the only bright side to the whole situation is that my Niece has grown up very strong, independent and shockingly confident, the down sides are my Nephew won't show emotion to anyone and even with therapy we just can't figure out what's going on in his head, and both of them have ZERO faith in their Mother being there when they need her, I've also done my best to let them know if they DO need someone I'll always be there, I often joke that I'm the in house therapist because I'm Extremely calm and won't snap at anyone while listening to everyone's problems and letting them blow off steam, however I also tell them if they do anything wrong to the point I get angry then whatever they did was REALLY bad, never been angry yet thankfully.
Wow.. you’re doing a great job
I'm having a problem like right now with family yes... and my chest hurts so bad. This is so timely. Gdi. I love this page so much. I feel like I'll be okay and I'm not alone.
(I want to just leave whenever there's a problem but still feel bad about it).
Good day my dear friend,, How are you feeling today my dear friend and how is the weather over there. ??
In my family :
1. Miscommunication that leads to misunderstandings
2. One-sided respect
3. Swearing & mocking at me almost everyday
4. Privacy only applicable sometimes
5. "Affection? What is that?"
I learned all of those important points in this video outside my house. I'm struggle to understand those points from friends or even strangers. That's why I often prioritize them more than my family.
Look, I'm thankful for family provided place to live, food & other material necessity...
But I often feels like a livestock who treated badly emotionally speaking.
I can't even close my door, and when I ask why, it's always met with "because I said so"
living with a mom who did all of these things and more has caused me to feel unable to express my feelings without literally gaslighting myself. im constantly doubting myself and feeling like im being overdramatic, that im blowing things out of proportion, and sometimes i even question if things in my memory are actually real or if they're made up. i even have convinced myself that my husband merely tolerates me and feels obliged to stay with me even though i am a ball and chain around him. if anyone has any tips on how to deal with these issues (aside from therapy) pls let me know.
Inner child work. I hope you found some peace by now. And no contact with toxic people.
I had discomfort sometimes with my mum too. My dad can be really strict sometimes and my mum could be critical of my dad and I. All it takes is communication and boundaries
Yes.. and empathy and understanding. What are your thoughts on the topic how to encourage parents to seek therapy?
Being in a toxic family makes you emotionally drained out