7 Signs of a Toxic Family
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- Опубликовано: 13 июл 2024
- Growing up in a toxic and dysfunctional family can do a lot of psychological damage to a person, and toxic families breed lasting stress, anxiety, conflict, and fear among its members. So, how do you tell if your family is toxic? If so, do you know how to deal with toxic family members? Here are 7 Signs Your Family is Dysfunctional.
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6 Side Effects of Toxic families
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5 Types of Children from Toxic Families
• 5 Types of Children fr...
8 Common Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family
• 8 Common Characteristi...
5 Ways To Recover From Toxic Families
• 5 Ways To Recover From...
5 Types of Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
• 5 Types of Dysfunction...
Credits
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Denise Ding & Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animation: Nayeli
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Pescitelli, D. (1996). An analysis of Carl Rogers’ theory of personality. Retrieved September, 20, 2009.
Grosz, M. P., Dufner, M., Beck, M. D., &Denissen, J. J. (2015). Who is Open to a Narcissistic Romantic Partner? The Roles of Sensation-Seeking, Trait Anxiety, and Similarity. Journal of Research in Personality, 58, 84-95.
Vecchio, R. P. (2007). Power, politics, and influence.
University of Chicago Press Journals. (2007 October 7). Negativity is Contagious, Study Finds. Science Daily. Retrieved November 15, 2019 from sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071004/135757.htm
![Natanael Cano x Oscar Maydon - Giza [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eXCS6-MSQ_Y/mqdefault.jpg)
First!
Related videos:
6 Side Effects of Toxic families
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj4Re...
5 Types of Children from Toxic Families
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZH-1...
8 Common Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkVOB...
5 Ways To Recover From Toxic Families
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIpYm...
5 Types of Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T79sc...
Thanks for your content
No you're not !
@@lieaparisss08 No problem! Did you find this video helpful? :)
I just want to take a _moment_ to thank you for how much your videos have helped me.
I wouldn’t be in therapy if it wasn’t for you.
Man I love this channel.
Parents be like : "Don't talk to strangers online!"
And strangers online comfort me better than them
Exactly
I agree but it is true though there are creeps online two but there are better people most of the time then there are creepy people
True
@@shamaladoc1192 what is
@@professionaltherakeplayer4042 his comment but some are creepy and weird tho
I don’t feel so alone reading the comments.. i dont like living in this house
Ikr, have you been pychologically tortured while staying? and then get pycholocially tortured by another part of the "family" by wanting to leave and do the "right thing" cause that's what's going on here;..... oh btw I really am a slave , I get roasted for money, sometimes worse, but that's okay now😀
hye, idk about that. I tend to argue with my mom, she always find faults in whatever i do. I’m her only daughter (she has another 3 sons), she didn’t trust me. She always disapprove who im dating, my 24 yo bro is getting married this year and this put more pressure on me (tho they didn’t rly say it). I’m 27 yo this year and the eldest. I’m dating a guy from another religion , And as a muslim it’s a big deal to majority of us. She expects me to be this perfect daughter while i just want to live my life freely without her constant judgement and nagging all the time. She thinks she always right and never want to hear my side of story. I rly just want to move out tbh. Hbu stranger? I hope you’re doing good in this time of messed up world of us- the covid19 and all
@@iamokay000 that sucks i actually am able to relate to people more now than the past 10 years or so , but it still sucks, and still worried
Hope you’re always happy and doing great ❤️❤️
Same. My mum was slapping me and told me it was tapping. She insults me everyday and acts as if im a baby who doesnt know how to clean a kitchen counter. Its everyday. The only reason why i like home is because she is gone for around 9-12 hours a day so i get a lot of time with my online friends. When i made an achievement in a gane she just says "its just a game, do something like was the dishes" (which i dont do because i told her so much that i dont like doing them and that i hate doing them) I have recently been talking to my friends about it because my mum does some more stuff thats mental and physical abuse. We have some ideas on how to stop her but i dont have a lot. Im also a daughter with 2 brothers that i havent spoken to in years and they havent spoken to eachother for nearly a decade (if they do, its like "no, i didnt do it.") I just
I don't know what to do
Im really scared
Me and my mum had a fight before my birthday and on my birthday i kept hitting myself in anger and fear and sadness my mum didnt even care. Nothing has been the same since that day
Yesterday or before yesterday, i asked her can i shave my hair and i was told i would look ugly. I really wanted to shave it but my hopes are down. I don't know how im just saying this so easily to random people. Its harder to even say it to some of my friends
Sorry im talking too much about this
I hope you guys are okay and well
I finally realized this year that I am not close to my family at all. I used to protect them by fooling myself and telling others that we are close and supportive. I had so many crises this year, and they failed and disappointed me in ways I could have never imagined.
Me too I ha them all I have no family just god
Same, the past couple years my mental stability has been unstable, but not super unstable, and these last two years, I have started to gain the habit of crying atleast four times a week, 😀 I also have nightmares multiple times a week, and apparently have night terrors, I’m obviously distressed, but my family hasn’t even looked in my direction, because they only care about themselves. The only time they do notice that something is wrong is when I relapse in my ED. Then all of a sudden, they just care so much. I honestly feel no support from them whatsoever, not once have I ever felt heard by them even when they’re the cause of my distress. Which is ironic, because I’ve honestly been the only one providing actual emotional support to my family when they need it. They just take and don’t give back I guess, which is kind of depressing ngl, but honestly, I’m 15 right now, and in 3 years, I’ll legally be able to leave this place for good, and finally start my pursuit of a real home that won’t make me feel this way. You’re not alone in this, your family may care only for themselves but you will get through this‼️✨
I can absolutely relate because I used to do and say the same thing about my siblings
My god same situation I have also realised this year ???
Same here. I’m 35 and have everything and my own family. My parents are extremely rude to me and selfish old fhcks! They give nothing to their grandchildren at Christmas and basically stuck up selfish and jealous a holes. Literally pisses them off I make a lot of money and made well all by myself. Literally makes their skin crawl and constantly try to diminish everything great I do or have done. Heck, I learned piano when I was 19, now at 35 I can play very well and write my own music. Somehow, my parents don’t care to hear anything I play, which is fine, my wife and family love listening to me and smiling together, cooking together and laughing together as one loving family. The kind I never had being the youngest of 6 kids…my parents divorced at 11 because my Dad joined Scientology and gave them thousands of dollars behind her back. Some people (my parents) are lost in a time, think only in one way, and are only willing to experience their own created delusions of themselves and life.
Leaving my toxic family behind was the best decision I have ever made. It took years for me to come to terms with the fact that they would never accept me for who I was. Given that,it is hard going through life explaining why you don’t visit your family, why they don’t visit you, why you talk to them once a year on Christmas, etc. Most people don’t get it and say things like “But they’re your family!” Dude, you just don’t know. They will never understand.
I feel this too there all I have but maybe I dont need them. Idk I'm getting professional help and i hope one day i can be happy again and i hope your happy too!
I too have a toxic family though I havent cut them off.I do visit them.I have clinically diagnosed depression too.I realised that I was ridiculed for depressed behaviour ( not jumping with joy at sight of food, or new car).Initially I tried to explain to family and friend as to why I couldnt behave the way they wanted me to,but then I realised 99% people dont understand.I stopped explaining my behaviour.Not everyone needs to know everything.If you have close friends and u feel they understand, only they are worth giving explainations to,else dont bother.Just give vague neutral responses.No point getting worked up, recalling those memories,reliving the pain only to be told ' but they are your parents'.like thanks Einstein, glad u told me, else I wouldnt have known.
FR
My parents always say “Why can’t you be perfect” and “Why do you draw it’s a waste of your childhood.”
I feel this
results of a toxic relationship w/ ur parents check:
-cries when yelled at
-flinches easily
-uneasiness towards older men
-burned out gifted kid who stopped trying
-touch starved
-low self esteem
-tries to delay going home after school
Jesus fucking Christ, I have all of these. I'm glad I'm not alone
I don't think of my family as toxic(not anymore) , even though my family has 4 out of the 7 signs shown in the video..... But I do have all the things you mentioned.
Well you described me 2 years ago. Now I found something that makes me happy and its better than then tho it still is bad.
holy shit this is all me
Wow.... I thought it was only me
Parents don’t want to hear the truth from their children so they call it disrespect. I’m tired.
Facts right there
This is 101% true
@@bonitoflakes8881 yeah that's why when im 18 im going to leave get away from my parents especially my mom she is a angry person and she is a narcissist
FACTSS i've had this all of my life if i want to voice my opinion it's always disrespect smh
@@kimberly-pn1zy yeah and they will just say your talking back or some something
I remembered crying genuinely in front of my parent, then said to me: “I don’t believe in those crocodile tears”. I wanted to say that I wish I was never born, but was to afraid because I believe I will get slapped or hit
Yes, they said l am acting.
😥
If they slap or hit you your have the right to get cps involved
@@Ishmarai yes but I love my family even when they do these things and don't want to cause trouble for them.
@@ahsanasiddiqa6796 yeah but hopefully in time you build some boundary for yourself because you deserve just as much respect as they do. And allowing it will make you passive not just in that aspect but other ones too.
Toxicity in the family is the worse thing to deal with. It's really sad how your so called closed ones wants to bring you down in every way possible.
My parents: *’’you can always talk to us.”*
Also my parents: *”you’re overreacting and upset for no reason, people have it a lot harder than you”*
That's my whole family
I hate the "people have it harder than you" excuse
Oml fr
sunflwrr yup that happens to me...
+1
Toxic parents will keep on saying "There's no one to trust but us. We are bad, others are worse. The world is bad, and no one will help you like we do."
And it instils a lifelong mistrust of people and sabotages relationships. But this AIN'T TRUE. There ARE good people in the world who will treat you well. Such parents do not want you to see that, because then their behaviour becomes unjustified and they cannot feed off of the narcissistic supply you provide.
Madhu Shruti Mukherjee this is exactly what my parents said when I told them I wanted to see a counselor. They change up real fast to pretend that I’m hurting them.
Madhu Shruti Mukherjee exactly my mom’s philosophy
This hit to close to home
Like fuck
When you heard your parents say this a lot:
Me: *Surprised Pikachu face*
My God thank you for this 😊
I am a 58 years old woman, and I left my country as I wanted to flee my family (my mother, father, sister and niece). Since I lost my grandparents, 20 years ago, I feel lonely and rejected more than ever. My mother and I used to call each other quite often, but then I felt that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She's still thinking that my life is a mess and the rare times we talk on the phone I don't know what to tell her because she doesn't like me to complain. She is the only person I could talk to and the relationship I actually experience with the man I live with is a complete disaster. Sometimes I think about dying but then I tell myself that this is not what I deserve. A toxic family is the worst thing people can experience.
I hope things even small ones will get better ❤
I’m so sorry you have been through all this please take care of yourself you deserve better ❤️
@@reema7359 thank you
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤much love to mam. You survived happily god bless you🎉
@@urduarabic Thank you.💖
My girlfriend has an extremely toxic and abusive family. She's super sweet and we really love each other, but I can tell her parents have damaged her. She's told me she feels the most safe and loved when she's around me. That's good that she feels that way about me, but it's also sad that it has to be that way. Her parents also hate me for supporting her.
Parents: “why don’t you talk to us”
Also parents: “stOP CRYING. You need to stop blaming other people. Oh yea I know that’s wrong with you but I’m not doing anything abt it.”
Koi Dumpster Girl That’s the number one thing I hate. Rarely will anyone let me cry when I need it at times. But at the very least people can focus on self care and I hope you all at least know your parents are at least trying despite their occasional mess ups.
Also parents: “You did this to yourself, it’s not my fault!”
My parents
"aND It'S ThAt daMN pHoNe!!"
And then they tell you “teenagers don’t have stress, they can’t. It’s not as stressful as a work place”
My heart goes out to everyone else dealing with this during quarantine 😔
Thank you for that.
♡♡♡♡
Thank you
thanks 💕
Thx.
I realized how toxic my family is when I went to middle school. I learned about the student support office, where it was basicly free therapy. I felt more comfortable talking to a lady I've known for 3 months than my parents which I've known for 11 years. That's unhealthy.
😢 me fr
This totally hits home for me. When it comes to the kind of family I have, making mistakes is like asking to get yelled at or talked badly about behind your back.
Talk me about it! It’s 24 hours for me nonstop.
my family: why are you never happy around us?
me: take a guess
YUP....YUUUP
that was an argument just two days ago. why you never smile? because I'm suffering that is.
Same i hate my family so much smh
@@_fjxp_ even though they may be mean sometimes they love you they give you internet, tablet or pc , candies and they din't abort you
This happens a lot in our house hold
1st) they yell at me for like 1 hour because I wouldn't do what they asked of me (Cuz I have depression and I feel fucking tired and worthless every time) and my dad tells me that I will become a clown in 5 years, that I'm worthless or sometimes that I'm not his daughter if im not easygoing or flexible
2nd) I become sad and more depressed
3rd) I have a break down and i keep those feelings inside
4th) They tell me to smile and be happy cuz when I look sad ThEy FeEL sAd
5th) I'll cry and say how I feel if they keep yelling/arguing with me and they get even more mad cuz I cry then they threaten me orrr I isolate myself from them if I can at the moment
6th) I cry even more - where I isolated myself- and I sometimes write how I feel afterwards
7th) Moments pass (like weeks or months) and they be like SomEtiMes u REallY upSeT uS cUz u LoOk MisERabLe or (this happens when if we are watching an emotional movie where the main character feels desperate) Have you ever feel like u have no place to go or like desperate if so please tell us oki? Orrrrr when they are in a good mood and they feel they're bounding with me Why aren't you're sharing things with us like ur a spy.
And I'm here like: SO WHY ARE U SO HARSH TO ME FOR MY LITTLE MISTAKES YOO CHILL
A toxic family is even worst than a toxic relationship , 😞
You can’t escape as easily they always use the excuse “we’re your family we love you more than anyone could”
Exactly , cause u can always cut out your toxic relationship but u can’t do anything if u have toxic family.
Yes because a toxic relationship you can leave as soon as you want but toxic family you have to wait until you are 18
@@RandomPerson-fy6dn some people cant ever escape their toxic families. no matter how old they are...
@@nurazhar8008 well ima move to Canada far away from my house also block Their numbers AH SHIT I CAN RUN AWAY I
It crushes my heart to even click on this video but the sad truth is they won’t sit down and see what’s going on with me, I tried to tell them how I feel and what’s going on and they just be mad and make it a very negative situation and in the end I go upstairs upset. I’m turning 18 anyways in like 2 months. I know how it feels to everyone else because all this trauma started from when I was 15. Please stay strong everyone ❤️
What can save you is to find your soulmate. Then leave people who are toxic for you. No need to get upset, that's what they want, so do not let them win. Many good things to you for this new year.
Watching this makes me want to thank myself for studying hard enough to be able to understand English. (English is not my first language.)
I'm glad seeing that people in online platforms are aware of toxic family issues. It exists and many of us are struggling. It is difficult to overcome this, but I believe we can pass through and be happy, no matter how hard it is. Stay strong everyone, I hope this comment will cheer you up.
❤ty
I know my family is toxic, how? Because I immediately clicked on this.
Me too!
yep ...me to
I think that people forget that when they have a toxic family, in more cases than not, every member of that family takes their part in being toxic, because people aren't generally mean to their children or parents just to be evil. It can be caused by stress (that the children/parents/etc) could have caused. When I was in middle school I had a toxic relationship with my mother until I asked her what I could do to change that toxic relationship we were having. It goes both ways.
@@akalijhomentethi7983 yeah it is because the children have been born into a household that teaches them that toxicity is fine and normal.
Well...... I searched for it😅
“Every child deserves love, but not every adult deserves to love.”
Jung Hoseok true 💓
What if the child drowned 50 kittens and puppies
@@inactive9862 wtf but yeah they still deserve love and told that taking care of animals is important
@@voiceofneha7196 what if they destroyed the economy, started world wars, killed 100k people, burns forests, not listen to other people, and punched 50 elderly people
@@inactive9862 which kid did that?
My parents were everything in this video and much,much more. The reason I sweared I would break this generational trauma with me. I got into psychology, went to therapy and made researches myself. I’m parenting my inner child and still trying to heal while also being my little sister’s emotional guidance (from another city now since I moved out). I hope everything is good enough for her. I still love my parents and realise it’s all because of their own childhood traumas but I’m angry at them for not hearing my voice when I needed them them the most. Or when I tried to talk to them about realising their own issues and how to parent my little sis. I wish them the best, but I found happiness outside home. I hope to find it in the family I’ll have one day, and the one that I have now.
What you deed is only way out and Safe.
You heal with time and your own knowledge.
God Bless You.
🙏🤍😊
God bless you🙏🏼
I finally walked away, it took great courage!
It’s like an addiction, you now they are hopeless assholes but you keep going back.
Thank you father in heaven!
Do anyone else’s parents use “we’re a family” as an excuse to force you to do something you don’t want to do but ur siblings do?
I don't have any siblings, unfortunately, but I hear this every single time when I say that I don't wanna do something because I'm not comfortable with it at all or just because I really can't. They force me to do stuff all the time for them. They think that skipping uni for 2 months is normal just so that they could go to their home country while I take care of the family businesses. Meanwhile they say my education is important and I have to get good grades...
Yes. One time I didn't want to help clean an apartment my dad was selling because I just started my job and I had finished working 5 days in a row. It was my day off, my feet were in pain (later I would find out I have plantar fasciitis), and he was stressed out throughout the whole process and I don't like being around when he's stressed (he has a one-track mind, lashes out randomly, and is just plain rude). I told him this (except the last part cuz that would've set him off) and he said he wouldn't hold it against me. Then a month later we had a family talk and addressed the fact I never wanted to help with the apartment for WHATEVER REASON.
Yes i hate that shit too
THIS IS MY DAD'S REASONING FOR EVERYTHING. "Aren't u a part of this family eat dinner w us". Like I wish I wasn't a part of this family don't make this harder than it needs to be.
YES!!! "heymom, i dont feel good rn, i dont really want to go hiking or to the store right now." "well i know you dont WANT to, but we're a family!"
Can someone tell me why some parents, when you cry or are sad and they say. “Don’t cry- there are so many people that deal with way worse than you”? That’s like telling someone “don’t be happy, because some people have it better than you”
They say that then not too long after ask why you bottle things up and ask why you never talk about your feelings 🙃
After I got told I had a cyst in my brain my dad told me "at least you aren't dying" so yeah, parents are just fucked up
@@sillykino your dad probably had good intentions but even so when someone is hurting you dont tell them usually that at least this or that because it just de-evaluates their feelings
I started crying my mom would threaten to hit me if I kept on which only made me more scared and made me wanna cry more but if I cry more ill get hit
@@deadroses7500 I feel you because my mum would do that to my sister too. She'd yell at her and then when she started crying she would tell her to shut up. It really sucks.
I love my family but I’m distant towards them cos they are toxic and don’t really trust them , they really only nice when they want something and it’s part of the reason why they don’t know much about me , they told me I don’t spend enough time with but I feel suffocated and anxious . Honestly when I leave my family home they won’t hear much from me after
I've felt very guilty about having to cut my family out of my life. Watching this video was a light version of what my life was before I left. Now I'm so happy with my husband and children and I love my life!!
- u feel invisible
- u feel pressured
- u feel misunderstood and discarded
- u feel ur worth depends on what u can give, not who u are
- u feel forced to be around them
- they play power politics and u are victim
- u feel constantly unhappy around them
And I also feel really guilty cuz I know I'm not a very good one either.
I was gonna write this but it’s never mind it’s alright
EVERYTHING ...I RELATE TO EVERYTHING ....
that's just sad
@@JuneX_O. yes but at least you’re aware
THIS. Idk how they can't realize-- I get along with Absolutely most everyone (who is rational) and not them usually, how do they expect me to stick around physically/ spiritually? So much world out there besides being stuck in the most stagnant developed over & traffic jammy county in FL for no other reason than hyper familiarity
I'm invisible at home, at school and even on the internet.
Then suddenly I do something and I exist all of a sudden.
ill give u a like just to give you some attention
I'm invisible with my dad's family but not with my mum. I am very invisible at school and especially on the internet. That's why even 2 likes excites me. I tried doing something but people still ignore me.
@@evelynneclipse2069 same 😖🤝
eh id so love to give more attention to people who need it but i think even this will not help
I really hope it will get better for you :(
I'm listening. From stranger to stranger, I am here for you. You're not invisible to me, I see you :')
So much unnecessary pain felt by so many in the world related to this topic. Becoming adults should be our ticket out of so many toxic situations! Strength hope and peace to all!
My parents completely messed me up, no contact for officially a year. Technically I broke no contact for 10mins because my parrot that’s been with me passed away and I called for baby pictures of him but other than that it’s been a really rough ride. First 3 months I was energetic happy and enthusiastic. But then I realized how messed up I really am, i let a lot of people use me as comedic relief and allowed it to happen and had a large past of getting bullied by kids and adults. Therapist said I have cptsd, I was forced to mask my adhd my whole life until now and finally got on medication. I’m really against medication but thankfully it’s reduced alot of symptoms. It’s just I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t wanna interact with people anymore and it sucks because I know there’s nice people out there but being in a toxic work environment is definitely not helping with process. I wish for anyone that’s suffering the best of healing. My biggest mistake was telling myself I’m healed. I’m far from it.
Mother: " Why didn't you tell me?!!"
Me inside: Probably because you'll yell at me just like you are doing right now
Same with my mom
Same, whenever I tell my mom she’s yelling at me, she’s like “No I’m not. You’re overreacting this is my normal voice.” And then I continue to feel awful.
Yup, true. My mom is like this especially with academics. The smallest of mistakes she'll get mad at me. The reason why she is like this is because I'm at home and the internet is open for me to use. Such annoyingness
Felt this so so so so hard 😂😂😂
Or tell everybody they know
my mom: " you can tell me anything"
me: tells her how i feel
my mom: doesn't listen to me and uses it against me
Whos parents is yelling at them and after 1 min they act like they are your friend, nothing happened but you still didnt recover 😔😔
FR
@@mikeyt2022 and it’s just a cycle ugh I fucking hate that they manipulate me with how nice they are backstab me with it
@@mikeyt2022 oh is this not normal, I thought this is normal
I have a lot of unfairness in my household, I kinda felt like I am worthless to my parents when ever I got an grade I think it's amazing like an B+ my parents will say something just to upset me.
I'm literally crying right now growing up in a toxic family. Took me 6 years to realize it and I pray that rhose who were raised in a toxic family can move on and starting now
Just right now when I am feeling so sad with what is happening in my life, I decided to open RUclips to see this as the first video ever recommended to me. Thank you
I can't wait to go to college, be financially stable, and leave and never, ever see any of my family members ever again.
Guinea pigz do us all a favor and shut the fuck up
@@guineapigz6421 aren't you an edgy tough boy. aren't you supposed to be in reddit?
@@guineapigz6421 why so mean?
@@ikennaonwukeme5769 i feel like i can relate to this a lot. I'm really confused and i have a hard time in keeping up with societal tasks like paying taxes, passport stuff, visa, etc etc. I wish schools could teach us this instead of "HIGGLY JIGGLY, FIND THE X AND YOU'LL BE GIGGLY"
I can’t wait til I get the fuck out of here
When I become a parent, I’ll be the exact opposite of my parents
Bro me too
Me too, but that's often famous last words, right? (Keep in mind, I fully agree).
I used to say this but now they have ruined my dreams of having a family. I'll live alone for the rest of my life, and at least I hope I'll be free and not tied to their toxicity anymore.
@@Andy-ly2tz listen, this is only for a time to heal. I get it, I also don't want a family to protect the people that I want to get attached to. But, it will wear you down, almost to insanity. Learn from their mistake and move on, but also take the genuine lessons that they wanted you to learn from the crulty. It's not easy, but it just takes solitude, deep thinking, and time to desciper what's really right, and what isn't.
Same bro
im literally in tears. I can't wait to start my own family and cut the abuser cycle in my family. My kids will get the love and life i always wanted
Im tired of crying
Im tired of arguing
Im tired of being stressed
Im tired of staying in my room the entire day
Im tired of not feeling loved
Im tired of being yelled at
Im tired of having no one to talk to
But most importantly, Im tired of being tired
It's sad that four months later this is true. I'm sorry that past me felt this
@@fractals.I feel the exact same way you felt
I know how you feel
Didn’t even realize I had a toxic family until I watched this, I make up lies and try to get home as late as possible because I know that my mom is just going to start belittling me. Some days are good and some days are horrible. Those good days are when we barely communicate.
I can relate
Same
I did for almost 17 years before breaking off. I relate.
felt but for me it’s my stepmom
I spend as many days as I can at my grandma's house but most of the time it's only on weekends
I don’t like my mother, yes she gave me shelter, food, things to drink, a bed and cloths but she is negative, if she ask me to help and I mess up one thing she says your weak, your good for nothing, and she gave me scars, I’m scared.
You're not alone my dad does the same
If your old enough move out, and even if your not. Still. MOVE OUT.
The people that care for me is my dad and his family that’s it
Same with my mom and sorry you went through that. Are you in high school? College?
Shenequa Kimbro I guess I’m going to 8th grade
There's a difference between toxic and normal families. Thank you for making this video. Now people can see if their families are toxic or not. I hope its not though and thank you for putting that there's no perfect family. It will help identify if it's just normal or if they're toxic. This helped me so thank you!
Tip For parents: please pleasee try understand what you’re child is going through don’t always think what are you thinking is always right as people grow they can make their own decisions!
And some people like me can’t even express what they want to tell parents , this happens because since from the childhood you have to talk to your child freely and lovingly like saying I love you everyday and praising your child for what they have achieved,etc..
You have to create a positive environment for your child
Let’s talk a example: if you’re son/daughter is suffering from something or he/she having a serious problem, you know what they will do?
They call to their friends/people who understands them and asks them to give them a solution for them to save themselves from that problem they won’t call you because they know you will not understand them and all you will do is shouting at them and they don’t even tell you happened!!
Soo please be nice with your child they don’t need anything from you...
They just want your love and caring...
Why are we always told to tell our parents or guardians if something is wrong?
When they are the *ones* who are *responsible*
Plus the fact that they never seem to take it correctly when it is told that they are at fault.
@@divyanshpanwari348 This hit home. Imagine trying to openly and calmly try to discuss how you feel wrong, only to have that person scream and cry in anger at you for even daring to suggest they have *ever* done something wrong. It makes you not want to talk anymore. Especially if that person is decades older than you.
美しい漫画家 they can never be wrong .. they’re never the problem in their eyes :/
@@mariajose7496 Exactly that's the issue
美しい漫画家 ikr
I feel like one of the reasons many People don't Wanna be parents is because they are scared of becoming like their parents
That’s probs the main reason bc my parents just seem to keep fucking up without noticing and I always feel like a burden bc of their constant blaming and guilt tripping, it’s driving me insane. I literally have body dysmorphia and anxiety and they don’t have a care in the world all they do is blame me for MY MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES and it’s driving me insane sometimes I wish I were an orphan tbh
I could do so much in my life in 19 years if i were an orphan. I am never going to be a mom . And i am going to leave my parents 4 my own sanity. And no one should be a parent if they feel they r not ready for this.nothing can be more brutal than bringing a person in this cruel world and then torture him/her .
ikrr being parent is not ez at all , when I will become parents i don't want to be like them but I don't know how is that possible 😭
If you just already KNOW YOURSELF and how you are, then that's just it.
You WONT be like Nobody else except YOURSELF 💯
Yup.
Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for your work! 👍
Wow! That truth cuts to the bone! You just perfectly described my own childhood and all my struggles with my family.
Number 3 hit home. Whenever I try to tell my family I how I feel they turn it into an argument and they start attacking me (verbally) all at once, it's so frustrating, I feel like nobody in my family cares because they see me as a martyr when really Im just hurt. Anytime I bring up my feeling it's me playing the victim, but I'm not looking for attention or pity, I just want them to understand me. They never will though. Sorry for the vent
i just put on a different face depending on who i'm around
family: quiet
friends: memelord
alone: silent pain
You described me lmao
Same here
That’s me
Same
Same. It sucks when you have a different face for each family member, then you get stuck with two that see opposite faces. Because then you gotta figure out what to do ( find excuse to leave typically or ignore one)
I can’t even leave my parents yet. I’m scared of telling them my feelings because they’ll come up with a way to say "You shouldn’t feel like that".
Same
i tried to tell my parents how i feel but they scolded me and blamed me for that
I have a plan to start a business that I'm working on so I can escape when I turn 18.
Hello Nobody damn, wish i could do that! through lots of therapy i'm trying to mend our relationship. speaking to my mom is like speaking in another language!
My school counsellor told my mom she suspected I have social anxiety then my mom told my entire family... Now they tell me "It's not even that hard to do (blank). Everyone has anxiety, not just you. Just go out more. Why can't you just go by yourself??"
I'm afraid of what my family say if they find out I have depression too and suicide was a fantasy of mine.
I was raised in a toxic family. I was not important in my family but everyone expect me to do the chores. I was happy at school but when it was time to go home the feeling of unhappy suffocated me. I was so jealous of my friends because their family seems so happy and they love each other. Meanwhile at my home I always being shamed and guilt tripped. Shame on me because I did not do the chores. Shame on me because I am not smart like everybody else. If my siblings finish eating and they pile their dirty dishes on the sink it was my fault because I did not work hard enough to keep the house clean. If I take a rest and my father came home from work I am a lazy bum who is just a burden to the family. Actually I am amazed how I am still alive and strong nowadays. I thank God because He keep me safe until today. This little unworthy filthy burdensome slave of my family is still alive and having a pretty good life. Amen.
My heart goes to those who're in toxicity of any Kind. God is faithful.
I remember thinking to myself “ when your parents are nice don’t expect them to actually like you. They’ll hate you in a second, just watch” and that hurts...
I hate to admit how true this is
Its not that they hate me, they blame everything on me when I always try to be great
Salted carmel this hits home HARD
blah yeah same
For me it was always "if they're being nice to you and giving you things, don't use anything they give you because they'll use it as a guilt thing, and go back to being mean"
It’s so hard to say that your family is toxic because they aren’t toxic exactly like this but in a different way
Yeah same...same
But my family is really toxic
Each family member dont like other member
Same
@@user-nf2oq1st8y same :'(
@@Zombieluvah06 😔😭😭
I grew up in a very toxic family environment with a narcissistic mother and abusive father, and now my siblings are just as bad or worse and doing anything to destroy me. I have lost almost everything financially and grew up without any purpose or goals being lost for years. I finally walked away from them with nothing and just trying to put my life together finally, and it is tough, but I am more at peace.
"Theres no perfectly peaceful family"
My friends family: hold my tea
They probably fight when you aren’t around.
My friends family seems perfect, but she always tells me how much her dads a jerk.
AngelZoe2008 It was a joke-
Please stay strong. One day we will have the chance to stay away from their toxic behavior
😭
Now I'm curious! What's your friend's family like?
That's why I like living alone. No stereotypical expectations, no judgement, no harsh words, no yelling, no bashing, no taking my victories for granted, no taking my mistakes as the end of the world, just me and being okay to be me and not the perfect daughter my parents tried to choke on me for too long.
But unfortunately due to the current global situation I was forced to move back to my family and now the emotional abuse is all back again, after I took so long to heal from it.
Not for everyone who has to stay home to protect others and themselves means they are emotionally safe. I'm not. This is not home. This is a prison. This is not just a fight to survive from the pandemic, it's also a fight to keep my own life is not any less worth of any of those people.
PortugueseLynx I can’t wait to move out, and never look back
@@itsregina434 Yo fuck that as long as you're prepped gtfo
For me I just changed who I was realizing I was gaslit my entire life and well the abuse is pyscological so I just roll it off however quarantine has made issues flare what I've done was actually slowly try to change the mindsets but still being myself and letting my actions speak for me and it's worked okish. What I want to encourage is if they are being asses don't let the BS change all the progress you've made and if you're an adult stand up for yourself the more you look into them and use your "weapons" for lack of a better term the more even the playing field is. Just keep on keeping on because this will pass and life will be ok again.
You've gotten halfway and that's a hell of a lot more than I can say for myself. I hope they don't take away all your progress and I hope you can stay brave and unbothered. Your progress was not for nothing!
then stay inside that house
My heart goes out to everyone in these situations I’ve suffered and still do with all of these things to where I just go out far where they can’t find me. Where I can feel free. Where I can truly be me.
I genuinely thought I was over reacting, turns out my family is the source to most of my self esteem and anxiety problems. Yay.
It’s really sad that my teachers love me more than my parents.
Oh, I’m Here for you, youI’ll be fine💕
I realized I love my teachers more than my mother. ... My teachers are so clever, kind and know the right things to say most of the time.
My mother is just negativ all of the time - even after telling her to stop.
I hope you are better now❤️
Same here.
Also same
Toxic parents: Beat you and emotionally manipulate you for their own gratification
Also toxic parents: _mY pAReNTs wErE eVEn woRse ThaN tHis_
Did your parents do that to you?
If your parents say that their parents were worse, then they shouldn't be pushing that onto you, they need to get some fucking help!!😡
I feel you
toxic parents: you live better than any other kid
Also toxic parent: *puts u down, embarrasses you,makes people hate you,does literally anything to mess up ur life*
Holo I can so relate. My home environment is just awful. There’s a lot of gaslighting, (seemingly unintentional) manipulation, emotional abuse, and enmeshment. That’s just the start, to be honest- it’s much more. But thinking of the parent doing it to me... my mom’s home life makes mine seem like paradise. Her parents actually tortured her- like, TORTURE torture. There were many brutal kinds of physical and emotional abuse involved, and she never received any kind of love from anyone in her family. No one in her family- between her, her parents, and her siblings- is mentally normal... and compared to them all, she’s the closest.
I see why she acts the way she does. She went through so, so much. But it doesn’t discount the fact that the way she treats me and my dad is unacceptable. I intend to cut off all forms of unhealthy relationships when I get married and have children one day... the best thing I can do is raise kids and teach them what it’s like to live in a non-toxic environment.
"even worse, giving in to their demands creates a positive feedback loop- encouraging them to take advantage of you even more." that hits me harder 😞. Many accuse me still, ...I have to respect/love myself enough not to take easy ways out. Consequences= trade in for the things I want in positive ways. I am healing and I want to be better 😊
Thank you for this it's what I need by this.
me out here thinking all of these were normal:
claire same
Jesus christ i thought that when two years ago until i started to realize how better my friend's parents were to him compared to my mom
Yes I had NO IDEA how much damage their behaivior gave me. some of this things I didn't even know they were not normal. like in the beginning of the video when she said "in the end you can always count on them to be there for you and you feel safe and loved" like i've NEVER felt truely safe with my family. never. And when I heard that I was like "oh i didn't know that that's what families are supposed to make you feel."
same..... because of this video i found out i have been living in a toxic family all my life
I'm tired of my family. So tired. It makes me feel like I'm falling down a deep hole while the hole gets smaller and the air gets thinner and thinner. It's impossible to live like this.
This might be the very first video on RUclips that's made me cry... like really hard...
Thank you ❤
having to quarantine with my family is hell on earth. i'm literally dying inside
I never imagined the hell you people have to go through being trapped with a crummy family for months at a time. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
Same
the exact same thing is happening here! i just feel so tired and theyre so controlling
I wish you best of luck!!!
Hope you can go trough this
Same...
"There's no way that I have a toxic family"
"Number 1: you feel invisible"
"This is getting oddly personal"
You are not the only one who feels that way 😥
Yeah, some of them feel way to familiar
number 1 hit me like truck
Y-yeah-
Who parents is yelling at them and after 1 min they act like they are your friend, nothing happened but you still didnt recover 😔😔
I felt every bit of this.. I feel as if it got worse after my mom passed away. I was only 15 when she left and it turned into control. Now if I don't agree with them on certain things im automatically in the wrong. I love my family but at the same time, when it comes to dealing with them at times, I am overwhelmed. If I don't see things the way they do, again, I am the problem and less of a christian. at the same time i often feel alone because no on understands. I was talking to one person in my family yesterday and I said I physically and mentally don't have the energy to deal with these unchanging situations (about another family member) and her response: "Well the difference between you and I is I care about others and you don't!" that got to me. In this world, its so lonely.
💯% how I feel all the time. Thanks for making this video. 👍
- gets yelled at and screamed at
- called lazy when I'm exhausted and in pain
- called names
- jumps at any loud noise and has a panic attack and ends up sobbing .
- no attention
-really bad depression
-lumberjack vest in profile picture
Stay strong, because you are better than them!!!!!!!!
starflight wing story of my life
this is me
same
i always thought i was such a bad person for disliking my parents, since they always did the manipulating in secretive and small ways, while outwardly appearing as wonderful, perfectly nice people. i would hide in my room all the time because i just didn't want to be around them and always find an excuse to get out of the house... after watching this, i realized that was normal. almost cried when they said it's okay to feel that way, that it's a normal reaction. thanks for this video
You’re lucky 🙄
Man, I feel this all the time. I love my parents but dislike them for how they treated me. Such a mind fuck
Lonely_Football why would u put that emotion
Wdym?
You need to know that it isn't our fault. Stay strong, and don't give up you've got this!!!!!
U made me cry so hard i used to struggle for a long time but i made a lot of Excuses but when u just say it and i felt it for the first time it's such a heart breaking
Thank you, Psych2Go, for your helpful and informative videos. I love how soothing your voice is and how comfy your animations are. Lots of support! 💙
“Family is family, no matter how much they hurt you” disregard this mindset everyone.
This is so true. Did you resonate with any of the signs in this video?
"Family isn't by genetics, but relationship" is how I've come to think.
@@Psych2go too many my friend, way too many.
Nah I disagree with this. I consider my family a bunch of strangers who happen to live under the same roof and are blood related. It’s just that bad.
"You can't choose your family" was the favorite around here...
I learned quickly to respond, "Yeah, Family might be biological, but CLAN is who I stick by. Clan, I get to choose... and Family can either straighten the hell up, or rot." ;o)
Me with no dad and no siblings: no toxicity.
Modern problems require modern solutions
Ha lol. Same
No mom no siblings. Dads childhood seemed to be mostly the first sign.
I always thought all people were toxic
Epic.
I only have a mom and it's extremely toxic
Omg, it’s just blowing my mind because this is so accurate. I also am sorry for anyone who is going through this.😔
Thank you for this .
Every child deserves love, but not every home needs a child
that's not how it's supposed to b-
Some people dont deserve to have children. If the parent will only treat them with coldness and disrespect, they dont deserve their child.
And not everyone capable of reproducing needs to have a kid
child of a unsustainable family here: it's true
👌👌👌
When they're sending you to psychologist and then denying results while saying that's because of you acting bad while test was making.
This has unfortunately also happened to me
thank you so much for this video
Great, your voice made me feel safe, I wish if the clip was translated so that as many people as possible can benefit. 🖤✨
my mom: "you can tell me anything"
me: tells her how i feel
my mom: "nothings wrong, you're overreacting, other people have it worse than you"
My pastor always taught us to never minimize somebody pain
That is exactly what my mom does too
My mother, “Oh, don’t feel that way!” In the most belittling voice in the world!
Me - mum I’m so stressed from music, I don’t get a single days break even weekends I’m so tired and stressed.
Mum - good, the real world is like that better to understand that now as a child. Stop stressing, you’re fine. Other kids do more and don’t complain, suck it up.
My parents get angry at me and upset with me when I went to bed at 5 pm and did no practice and said that I don’t care and that I’m lazy. Getting called lazy and other names which is just great!!
My mom too -_-...I've told her multiple times to stop invalidating my feelings
I will never ever make my children feel the way my parents have made me feel. My children deserve attention, appreciation and above all, love. Unconditional, overflowing love.
me too.
Yes, unconditional love is very important here in my fcking family more brain means more attention and he will be the favourite kid of the family everything is earned love and my parents would say we don't do favouritism . Now my brother don't respect me because he feels entitled that parents are always with him, and yeah they are always with my brother, he called me trash where he says I should eat only be giving rotten things of the house , they called me adopted child I complained to my parents about this and they just don't care ,my siblings team up and fight against me, I felt a need to stand up for myself or they will keep pushing me down i was once beaten severely because of my brother's lie, so severe that pieces of wood got stuck inside my thigh from the beating I will never forget this experience. I will never practice favouritism with my family everyone will be loved equally (I'm just commenting this because I have no one to talk about this fcking family)
I think that this generation is the generation of change. So many barriers are being broken and I believe the future will be bright💖.
@@yosshimaru7941 I’m sorry you had to go through that. You didn’t deserve it. You’ll be a great parent!
@@squashy9100 the future will be amazing in Jesus’ name!
I feel like the real world is our least problem, the bigger problem is that we have to deal with our toxic family
Your videos are always so helpful ❤
*Me:* Uses school to escape from home
*School closed for 3 weeks due to Covid-19*
*Parents who spend a lot of time at home:* look at me and smile
Same. But my dad works at school so I have no escape route😥
@@laurenmtz7014 Oof, I always felt bad about people who have parents who work at their school, they can watch you 24/7
@@didi7074 exactly
Didi I’m in the exact same boat as you. School’s been my escape for my entire life. I’ve always hated summer. Now things are a bit better- as in I’ve slowly cut my parents off as much as humanly possible when we live in the same place. But I’m still so scared that one parent in particular is gonna find a way to hurt me or my recovering mental health drastically through this time period.
Lauren Martinez oh my goodness that’s terrible 😭😭
You’ll be in my prayers, stay strong 💞
*Everything is accurate*
*My family:* YOU are the problem, YOU are the weird one, YOU are the one making mistakes and bad decisions, YOU
@keeran uwu I pretend to disappear from their lives and I know they will ask why I became a ghost 🙄 Always playing the victims card
@keeran uwu "Oh, but we are your family, you can't abandom family, what if your friends and boyfriend leave you? You only can count with us" I already heard this things and I didn't even left my parents house yet!
Didi me too.
Exactly
Yea, they blame me for everything.
Feel invisible, isolated, small
Conditions of worth, living to expectations
Feelings dismissed
Feel forced to be around them
Feel unhappy around them, can’t be happy
Have to leave for self-preservation
These articles & comments really hit home. And some of you are so young, as i was. Can imagine having the Internet as a resource when growing up...even so, the fact remains -- Internet or not -- there was no one there then OR now. Toxic families haven't changed their harmful and sick behaviors.
"you only feel loved and accepted by someone when you live up to their expectations of you."
Gdi it hurts.
@@navier7155 I'm 13 too. ,_,
I know it won't help you significantly but I'll give you the jar of lasting hope that I somehow managed to keep buried. Hiding in a closet of secrets is what secured it as well. Both figuratively and (kept me safe) physically.
I may not have the exact same opinions, situations, or thoughts like you, but the least I can do is to be here as support.
You can reach out for that safety net, it should be around the corner. You have more of a chance than I do.
After all, I'm invisible.
@@navier7155 the sad thing is that we can't help you outside of trying to give you some hope, I wish I could help you
My life:
Family: Toxic.
School: Tiring.
Work: I don't work.
In conclusion, I don't have a life.
joemama try to get some hobbies .. just do anything that makes YOU happy because your life is well about you .. take care of yourself and find inner love and peace . It might take awhile but when you find it everything will fall into place .... your mental health is very important you are important you can do this fight through it and one day you’ll see that you can chose to do what’s best for you. It’s your life live it how you want to be free mentally and physically. Living in a toxic family is hard especially when you have no option of moving out if you’re underage . Be patient but take care of yourself one day you’ll be able to enjoy life more . You live and you learn
@@mariajose7496 yeah, like I love to lock myself up in my room and dance. It's the only thing I genuinely love doing 😊
RVQ 9 keep being yourself, you will find happiness if you haven’t already. Life has many obstacles many .... like I still live with my toxic family because covid 19 sort of ruined my plans, but I’m trying to do things to distract me. Use this time to take a break from work/school/your normal everyday busy life. Use this time to reflect to have inner peace. And in the meantime do whatever makes you happy!! Be patient things will work out
@@mariajose7496 thank you so so much I have been struggling with my relation with my family (currently 14) it makes me relieved that people help us. Thank you ❤️❤️
mozamioo _ keep those good friends close
I was raised by a covert narcissist. I managed to escape that when I was 23. Out of nowhere some family of mine reached out to me after finding me youtube. They were never really in my life until that point. It seemed to have been a miraculous thing. I decided to go live with them because I thought that would’ve been for the best considering they were never in my life growing up. But I only lived with them for 3 months and I wanted out. my uncle basically communicated to me that if I wasn’t living up to his standards and expectations then he will feel like I’m taking advantage of him just by living there, even though he’s a multi millionaire and my aunt told me that he makes a shit ton of EXSESS money. He basically told me that he purposefully causes adversity in order for me to grow and get higher up the corporate latter. My aunt had a hard time accepting me for just who I am and she had bad OCD which may have been why she had a hard time accepting me as I am. I’m really disappointed and a bit mad with how it turned out, they never told me what the terms and conditions were going to be before I made the decision to go live them and that is not okay to me. And after all the crap that I went through with my dad, I thought I would finally come to a place of peace where I could be with family that I never had, but it turned out to be a highly transactional thing… now I’m worried about how this might affect the trajectory of my life and I feel like I’m sort of missing opportunity by not living with them, at least just economically
It truly is hard. At 21 I’m at a point where I hope to just keep healing and love myself. I felt selfish for putting myself aside for a long time.
quarantine is extra hard when you’re a minor and living with a toxic family. i hate school, but id much rather be there with friends and my boyfriend than at home
edit : i have noticed MANY people responding who have gone through similar things as I. Just remember that you are loved and valid. You are important. The sun always rises in the end
Me too man
Same
Love and light to you 🙏🌸🕯📿💐
True😭 they just hurt me even more. I've cried so many times during quarantine. I'm starting to get very sick and tired ;( (suicidal thoughts) 😥💔
CanadianPrincess Plays stay strong friend, you will be rewarded for getting through the tough times. a rainbow can only come after a storm
when I went over to meet my boyfriend's family, I was genuinely surprised at how kind and nice everyone seemed to be to him, to enjoy his company. when I asked them why they were so nice to me and him, they simply explained because they liked my presence and enjoyed my company. I didn't understand that, for them, that was healthy, normal behaviour. I still feel very uncomfortable around his family because a part of me worries they're faking it. I hate this quarantine and I miss him.
I have a similar story, my flatmate and a very good friends and his family came for a visit and they actually invited me to have dinner with them, which I was so pleasantly surprised at and they showed me nothing but love. And I almost cried durning that evening multiple times because I felt more love from his father in a day than my dad in 19 years(my age) that really hit hard on me. Because I was that "perfect" child getting good marks and achieving things to get my dad's love and to see what a healthy father-son relationship looks like just had in me in tears.
Don’t let go of these kinds of healthy people in life it will make life worth living I wish I had it
Same similar ways except it's with my boyfriends family they are extremely toxic and I feel better leaving when I'm with my own family they're positive aura makes me feel better but when I go back home to his family it doesn't get better I think the worst thing is that my boyfriend wants me to stay quiet about the life style but after watching this I know for certain I feel better knowing that this is wrong his family always made it seem like I was always in the wrong that they were right and I wasn't and with this virus going on its even harder to get away from these people now I stand my ground and defend myself more often now even with his mom she is really terrible
I thought my familiy was normal until i saw a real nornal one...
Thank you for this I am blind with additional disabilities and I can relate
I have been dealing with my toxic family for a long time. Not sure if I can ever heal even with therapy and treatment. Thanks for this video.
Me: Hey I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD.. Can I get therapy?
My parents: whAAAT? You're only making that up for attention! You can't possibly have those things!
The relatability of this comment genuinely hurts.
@@hahahahahahahahaa6580 same here....
Sounds like you could have narcissistic parents too.
question , if you haven’t gone to therapy how do you know you have all that? we’re you clinically diagnosed ?
Hey , stay strong and love yourself. Life gets better and you will end up where you need to go on this journey. Cheers