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7 Subtle Signs of Toxic Parents
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
- What are some of the toxic things that your parents have said to you? Are your parents perhaps narcissists? Have your parents been unsupportive, expect the worst from you, pressure or overburden you, made you the parent? There are some subtle toxic behaviours that parents do that could harm your mental health. Please watch out for them and consider sharing this video.
DISCLAIMER: This video is meant for educational purposes only. This video is not a substitute for professional advice, but for general guidance.
Want to learn more about toxic parents, check out this video: • 7 Signs You Have Toxic...
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Lesly Drue
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Dunham, S. M., Dermer, S. B., & Carlson, J. (2012). Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children. Journal of Family Psychology. Routledge, 2012.
Jurkovic, G. J. (1998). Destructive parentification in families: Causes and consequences.
Levine, M. (2006). The price of privilege: How parental pressure and material advantage are creating a generation of disconnected and unhappy kids. HarperCollins Publishers.
Strayer, J., & Roberts, W. (2004). Children’s anger, emotional expressiveness, and empathy: Relations with parents’ empathy, emotional expressiveness, and parenting practices. Social development, 13(2), 229-254.
What's the worse thing(s) that your parents had said to you? Comment below.
You
Because I said so
You walk into the room
I don't want you.
I deserve this
The worst part about growing up and living with a toxic parent, is internally battling with the fact that you naturally love this person BECAUSE they are your parent, but also battling with hating them at the same time at times for their cruelty...
Fr thou I genuinely frustrates me cause I remember having some great time with my mom (who I used to absolutely ADORE with all my heart as a kid) but as time slowly passed, she began to change, She began to become more angry, tended to break stuff, give unsual punishments, soon became both physically and verbally abusive. As a kid, I didn't realize her behavior was bad as I just accepted it (cause I loved her), I put up with it for so long to the point it affected my mental health; I actually started hating myself and developed suicidal thoughts. But later when I found out others didn't grew up the same way, I has flabbergasted, angry and sad.
I'm so happy to see that someone can understand this. For my entire life my parents always tried to act like they were interested in what i wanted to do in my life, they always tried to hide the fact that both of them wanted to leave me and my sister alone, because they were just two fucking idiots who didn't love eachother and obivously couldn't take care of two kids. They even said it right in our faces, my dad said "You two ruined my life" and my mom said "If i could i'd leave right now and never come back to you". I hate them both, for all the things they put me through, and for all the times they made me and my sister fight just to get some personal space in the house. I swear to god i dodn't even know how many times i wanted to kill myself just because i was so close to lose control and probably kill them. I hate them so much, but at the end of the day they're still your parents, right?
I know how you feel
Omg exactly 😭 i want to go break my dads car sometimes but i also would feel bad if anything happened to him its so frustrating
@@idkjkshdjkhdk sending love. :/ yea I remember getting some good woop ass from my mom, my dad never but he was emotionally cold, boring, never talked, always on tv phone computer . Along with school bullying i eventually developed social anxiety n slowly depression
I started crying throughout the video from how much this is too similar to my family. Apart from me, I hope everyone who goes through the same situation gets through it. I love you all here
Me too… ever since 10 I wished I could just be old enough to move out or maybe just stay at my dad’s place but I know that would be hard on him financially, I hope everyone who also has toxic parents can get through it too.
I almost committed suicide,cause of intense pressure and depression related to family problems
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
You, too
Me too, and I'm a parent! But a daughter of two narcissist, two ex husbands and lot of ex freinds
I feel ya man I was age 6 when my mom started being well… my mom
One thing I’ve learned about toxic parenting is never opening up to my own parents. I recently did, and my trauma was belittled and invalidated by targeted response. Nothing I said mattered, and I’ll truthfully never open up to them again after this incident.
There's a reason why I never tell my parents anything about me.
Yeppp. I know how this is. I've literally considered going mute because my mom belittles and hates everything I say. (But when I told her that, she said I was being childish! *rolls eyes emoji*) X'P
I'm sorry that happened to you. Just happened to me yet again and I give up. I knew at 18 I should let my mom go but I tried until 37. I'm trying to stop these generational curses and she perpetuates them on my children. I have to worry about me and my kids.
It might be better to go no contact.@@Hautenani
I kinda know how it feels, whenever I tell my dad a problem of mine he says something like “well when I was a kid my dad used to beat me” and my mum always says something like “well what do you want me to do about it?”
Things I never heard my mother say in my 43 years on this planet: "Yes, you're right", "I believe you can do it" or "Well done, nice job". Oh, and "I love you", of course.
hi, I love you, I'm so proud of you for surviving, I know it gets hard sometimes, and that's okay, I'm here for u Ilysm
I have never once heard my mother genuinely apologize or understand she is in the wrong.
@EmberPlays yep. Same here. They are the parent so they are just always right, no matter what… ApPARENTly? (hehe)
@EmberPlays exactly! Yet we are supposed to “grow up” and “be mature” and “take responsibility for our actions”
Yet be treated like toddlers
@EmberPlays exactly! Or when one parent wants you to do something a certain way and the other a different way, and then not being able to decide on what they actually want you to do ends up being your fault (and not their poor communication and decisiveness)
Recently I’ve started noticing signs of psychological abuse from my mother. I was discussing her negativity with my father and she was psychologically abusive to him as well. Turns out when I was younger I almost drowned in a pool and my mom called my dad an idiot for diving in and saving me. Most of the time I feel angry at my mother but whenever she even shows the slightest bit of kindness I feel extremely guilty for all my angry thoughts about her. I honestly don’t know how I feel about her anymore.
For me it's kinda the opposite, as my mother tends to have mood swings so whenever she acts nice or affection I get really uneasy and uncomfortable sometimes. I especially hate it when she gets all affection because I don't if she'll start verbally abusing me again.
This is so true omg, there is constant self doubt and argument inside my head, of being angry towards them and then feeling guilty for being angry when they behave a little good and because of all this we start to doubt ourselves and feel that maybe we are the wrong ones here 😔
same
My mom is toxic and manipulative and irrational yet my father thinks it’s normal. They are both irrational and temperamental.
You have every right to be angry. ♥
1) They are unsupportive and don't believe in you 0:35
2) They expect the worst from you 1:06
3) They pressure and overburden you 1:38
4) They make you the parent 2:10
5) They are emotionally dependent on you 2:47
6) They don't communicate with you 3:23
7) They use you as a pawn in their problems 4:06
Hope this helped!
Yes please.
This is very them
2
Me just dying from nostalgia from the age of seven (2,3,4[now]7)
*yeet*
*YEET*
TOXIC PARENTS EFFECT EVERYTHING AND HURTS YOU SO MUCH IT MAKES YOU SICK TO BE AROUND THEM 💯
My parents were extremely overprotective of me. For 18 years, they did not let me go and hang out with friends or socialize at any event or party. They thought that I would either be spoilt or waste my time. They said the family is a true BFF (like in this video). They thought that they were doing this for my good, but actually, it only instilled so much fear and anxiety in my brain. Now that I am going to college, I can finally have some freedom from them and be happy.
Its weird whenever they say "the fam is the true bff" they arent even strangers. That doesnt even make sense like they are not friends. They are our parents.
@@StewpidCreatureNamedAiniTrue
Honestly, you can get rid of toxic friends but its soo difficult to live in a toxic household.
Waiting for the day I'll be financially independent enough to leave them and start a new life.
No outsider has had a role in effecting my mental health as much as my own parents.
From physical abuse to using me as a pawn because they have a hard time with each to making me feel like I owe them my life because they feed me, they have done everything because I was helpless and young.
This is my situation right now in highschool my escape would've been Univeristy but unfortunately lockdown happened and now I'm home 24/7 with them and it's horrible. I can't wait for the day I can get out of here and be free and start to heal properly at some point I thought dying was the only way out but honestly I'm holding on for dear life
@@tisetso6003 I feel you my friend. Have been there. Sometimes it can feel like there is no light at the end of tunnel. All we can do is focus on ourselves, protect our peace. And remember " This too shall pass ".
@@maya.srinivas yeah sometimes it's hard for me because I'm literally alone I tried talking to my cousins and they dont believe me or think I'm exaggerating. I'm also worried because I'm stuck between a hate and love place regarding my parents. I'm angry now and i don't think I'll be able to forgive them until they actually apologise. Were you able to forgive yours ?
@@tisetso6003 Yeahh I totally get you.
I live with my parents, because I'm still studying.
Even I dont share a healthy relationship with them, they do everything and the next day behave like nothing ever happened. But I cant fight with them because I need to live with them every single day. So in order to protect my own peace, I just ignore most of their comments or talks. I just speak as less as I can. I do all my things on my own. I try to involve myself in other activities so that I spend less time home.
So as long as I'm with them, this is the only option I have. Also, I'm an introvert so its very difficult for me to share anything...so I end just being silent because I feel nobody really cares to know your side of the story as well.
Now, its just taking One day at a time.
@@maya.srinivas OMG are you Me????? Except the spending less time at home thing I think I need to get into that because I'm always in my room avoiding them but we are still in the same house because they work from home . I think I need to learn to control my emotions and not react to what they say and just keep the peace cause that's what I struggle with I keep everything inside then at some point I burst. I'm glad I had this conversation because I don't feel as lonely as before and i hope it gets better for us and we can get help to heal out trauma
"Finding signs of a toxic parent: watch the personality of the child." - Oogway Master
I really didn't know how much of an awful person i was untill i learned how i was and how i normalised my parents behaviour.
If this isn't the most accurate thing I've ever heard-
@@earnestlyaditya4261 I feel you. I didn't knew that the constant criticism of my parents have really affected my childhood.
Makes sense. My friend is a work horse. His parents put a huuuge amount of pressure on him. He never seems to relax.
It can be hard to interpret though. My sibling has very different problems than I do but both of us were abused by our mother.
My mom makes me cry EVERY day.
Hi
My stepmom dose
The abuse, stops once we all take action.
Living in a Hispanic household, trust me, will always be toxic. 😂 but to be honest, one thing I’ve learned, personally, is that though my parents are toxic…they never had the education that we now have. They never were guided to be parents or knew how to be better for us. They dealt with us with their best ability (I’m talking about certain parents, not all). In the Hispanic household, we’re easily shown “tough love.” But it’s because that how they dealt with everything. So they believe they’re doing what’s right. I’m not justifying their actions, but also, understanding what’s behind them because they also are humans.. (:
Thats so true !
100% agree. They do try their best but that’s just how they are.
To some of us the world's a tough place, and if you're gonna survive, you gotta grow up tough enough and strong enough to get through all of its worst in order to ever have a chance to enjoy some of its best.
Children don't come with an instruction manual, either. Every adult in the world is "winging it" with whatever education they've gotten and then trying to learn by experience...
AND experience is a GREAT teacher, but it always comes at a cost... Usually in wasted time and resources, lost, damaged, and destroyed equipment, and often in human suffering and death.
That's not just a Hispanic thing... ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 agreed
@@LovelyUnicorn-th1cf yeah, and that’s why we have to be better. 😊
My mother's actions towards me have definitely played a big role in me being a people pleaser. Sad thing is I still sacrifice so much to please those around me (primarily her). I recognize it when I do, and though it makes me feel like a failure, it's like I can't stop 💔 I'm so conditioned that losing things that I want to make it easier or better for her is natural ... but it has made me almost numb.
Same 💔💔💔
I feel this 100%. You want to give and help especially since it’s your mom, but it’s till the point where there isn’t anything left to give .
I used to not report anything in the comments, but I keep running across these bots. I now report the bots because no one else does.
With effort one can come out of that numbness, as I did, not too long ago. And while doing that, I was able to realise how strong I really was and, then understand my situation clearly and influence it to let them understand what they were doing was wrong. My parents have changed a lot after I opened their eyes, you can say. Now they try to put effort to understand me give me space and time as much as they are able, and I'm happy with that. They are still changing for the better, I believe. Maybe they'll understand this fully and come to see their wrongs. Till then I'll wait and make them see subtly and let it influence their way of thinking. It's a work in progress. I have yet to see the results, but I've hope that every parent will come to see the defects in their ways of parenting and perfect it for their child's good. 👍
I've been recovering over the years from this. I distance myself from my mom and it's hard especially around holidays because she loves to guilt trip. I've built myself up now not to fall into people pleasing for others. YOU ARE ALSO PEOPLE. The child inside you also needs to be Pleased!!! That's the one I focus on now and my life is peaceful as I heal. Good luck to you...don't abandon yourself 🌸
My Mom is always like this... She always put the blame on me when a problem happens. She kept calling me a mistake and a failure... At first, I didn't mind. I thought she was just really stressed with her work, which cause her to be mad. But...no. She does it every single time. With or without work. I made sure to be the best child for her, but, she didn't notice it... Only my mistakes are the ones she sees. It's as if she regrets having me. She keeps on comparing me to other children. Like, she usually makes me feel like I'm just a stranger to her. What hurt me the most is that she said, "Oh, how surprising. You cry? I never thought someone like you would." I guess she just doesn't see my cry so bad... That's why I feel relieved when I figured out that I'm not the only person having this problem. Not that I'm happy people are going through this, but, I just don't feel alone... So, thank you... For making this video. It makes me feel better.
I am a mother of two (8yo boy and 6yo girl) and this video helped me realise my errors. I love my kids, I do my best and I'm doing fine for the most part.. Unfortunately I deal with depression and mood swings, so I must be very cautious not to overburden or parentify them. Thanks for creating valuable content!
Thank you for being a mother who understands, its glad to know not all parents are bad!
Same
Good luck on raising them your best, I believe in you!
@@kitkat6810I think she/he is joking that’s not possible
For other people who have toxic parents, I'm really sorry to hear that! We don't deserve that at all and we are loved!
You're too kind!
@@Psych2go awww thank you so much! i’ve gotten that several times throughout my life :)
@@feliciatran5667 yeah because your really kind and sweet 🥺🥺
I had all of the options in this video and now I am emotionally depressed
Don't care though...
One thing I notice toxic parents do is that they break down your confidence whenever you start something new. This happened to me when I was in 5th grade and I wanted to learn to ballet so bad. My dance teacher told me I could attend her dance tuition for a week to get an idea of how things work there. I went home and did some steps in front of my parents and they were like "You don't have flexible hips. Dancing shouldn't be forced so it'll just be a waste of money even if we enroll you into it." THERE they broke my confidence and till date I'm insecure abt dancing in parties and even around my frnds. Pls don't tell anyone they aren't good at something when they start an initiative. Parents need to be a factor of motivation for their kids but sometimes they end up doing the opposite. 😔
YOU DO YOU! There is a way of healing away from insecurity by surrounding yourself with trustworthy and kind friends and family and tackling the negative problem into your strength! A quote I use to motivate myself is that, “Diamonds are pretty because they faced so much heat and pressure in what could’ve swallowed them whole, and became a precious stone of light!” 💖✨😍👑🌈🍬🔥🙏🤩🥰😫😩🥳😭🤗✝️
Only a toxic disordered parent would do that. Toxic parents , friends and spouses always discourage. I would suggest working on learning how to be an excellent dancer now. Do it for yourself.
I'm so sorry that happened to you :( It's always broken my heart seeing when parents have just belittled their kids when they tried something new or made beyond hurtful/mean comments towards something that they were wanting to pursue or try to see if it'd make them happy... I will say, that your parents saying that wasn't fair to you at all, I mean it's not like you were going to blow them away when you first tried something for them or in front of them. I'm absolutely sure they weren't amazing or even moderately good at something/things they were wanting to pursue at some point in their lives, so to tell your child that it'd be a waste to learn something is super toxic. :/ As a parent, supporting your kids and helping them develop and grow is something that I wish all parents did.
Same , anytime I showed interest in something I always got made fun of
@@jennarollyson4107I'm so sorry about that. Hope you watched this in secret.
As someone who can kinda relate to some of these, this hit me hard. After COVID started, I became an introvert. I preferred to talk to people on the internet rather than my real friends. One day my parents asked if I wanted to hang out with a “friend” who was bullying me and I said no. I said I found it easier to talk to people and be myself online. They said that being an introvert is bad and being an extrovert is good. Honestly, I cried myself to sleep that night.
If that last sentence was true, 70% of the world will be bad. But isnt
I became an introvert after COVID too.
"They make you the parent"
Although it's not always like this, I remember a moment that will never leave my mind for as long as I live.
It was my grandfather's funeral, and a few hours earlier I was looking out the window. (the kids had been sent to a different building in our land during the body inspection) I was upset of course, so I was just staring. I heard the most traumatizing scream I've ever heard in my life that moment. It made me almost scream too. It was my step-grandmother. So that night while my mom, my brother and I were in the building we were going to sleep, I obviously cried myself to sleep. I was woken up by my mom- panicking and screaming. The building was on fire. She was carrying my little brother. Keep in mind I was 8 at the time. My mom was panicking and screaming and crying (I was also crying) and my brother was confused and scared. She almost threw me and my brother off the balcony. Me, the 8 year old, had to calm her 30 something year old mother and her 6 year old brother during the fire till we were evacuated. It was so hard not to burst into a fit and jump off the balcony myself honestly.
The problem is, even if my mom is manipulative and toxic, I love her. And I know she loves me just as much
For all those struggling with toxic parents, stay strong. Sending hugs for everyone.
@@revilno my dad screams at me too everyday. He doesn't speak to me properly. It's important that we learn to ignore them and not take things they say to heart and realise that they are the problem not us. Sending a big hug your way and I'm here if you need to talk ♡♡♡
Thank you.
@@revilno I am praying for you
I cant take it anymore
@@vdenxsafed19xsafe19dxdon't die.🙂
I can't take anymore either but let's not die. Nobody gonna care anyway
to those who have toxic parents out there, i hope you find your way and safety for the better of your mental health and well-being 💗
Thanks I needed to hear that
thank you! ❤
thanks (: I can't wait to move out
This memory sometimes haunts me even now. I was going through my senior year of high school and was feeling overwhelmed and burdened with a lot, and what tipped me over the edge was the fact i was slowly realizing someone had been using me for their own needs. i began to think i was worthless, and i had snapped. I ended up having a crazy breakdown at a get together my friends did for me for my birthday.
My mom arrived to pick me up and saw me crying. I ran inside the house to avoid getting numerous questions shot at me, which would make my anxiety attack get worse. My friends and a guardian with us tried to talk to my mom about things and apparently things had gotten mixed up and they thought i wanted to die. what didnt help is that some of my friends yelled at her, and her being an authoritative person, didnt take it well. she dislikes some of them to this day because of that. my mom finished talking to them, and got me in the car. it was silent for a moment, and then she started screaming at me while she drove me to the hospital for a psych eval. i was terrified and definitely didnt want to be there. I didnt want to be anywhere.
She grounded me and took my phone away, thinking some of my friends caused my "bad or abnormal behavior." I tried to tell her it was her that was making me crumble like this. she didnt give me space or freedom to be myself, or even trust me doing some things away from home. I kept a lot of secrets from her for that reason, shed look down upon what id believe or think or even what id want to wear or do and tell me it was wrong, depressing, or "God says this is wrong, god says you cant do this". she was so afraid id turn into my brother that she made sure with all her might it didnt happen.
when i told her that, she laughed at me. then she said something along the lines of, "If you think its my fault, then you really do need help." she would defend and deny anything that makes her look bad. shes done a lot of gaslighting. And i think she also got mad at me because i was only diagnosed with severe anxiety, not any suicidal tendencies. the bill mainly. i spent a lot of time under watch from her and a lot of arguments broke out. what hurt the most is that my dad, who usually sticks up for me and tries to keep my mother at bay when she gets like this, tried to defend her actions. he probably doesnt know everything i've gone through. neither of them do. which is why it was so much more frustrating.
everything's okay now, but i just wish she'd let go of trying to control me. I'm in my first year of college now, and barely know anything, let alone how to care for myself. I'm trying though! I sometimes freak her out if i dont call her or even text for a bit, but im only doing that so she'll realize i need space now more than ever. things have gotten a little better, but it still needs a LOT of work. i mean A L O T.
Edit: im going to be 21 soon, I dont think its getting better, but I'm still trying. She just wont leave me be sometimes. I'm still pressured to attend college and work at the same time (tried to pressure me to get a second job or work close to full time while attending college as a full time student with a very full schedule most of the time, very stressful). Im currently trying to see if I can become a certified welder (backup career stuff) and maybe take classes on botany, as well as try to get an internship with graphic design. She thinks I'm weak just because I can't work multiple jobs while doing school and raising a family like she tried to (even though she had to drop, I'm almost done with my first degree). I think I seriously need to see a therapist again. That's all. Thanks for reading.
Edit 2: hey yall! I graduated college in 2 years with an arts degree, I'm thinking about continuing my education still. I told my parents about the stuff I kept from them, or one thing, anyway. I told them about my "friend" coercing me, which is what I mentioned earlier (see very first paragraph). They said it wasnt my fault that it happened, but that it WAS my fault for not saying something sooner. Yep. Alrighty then. :')
My father bought a house to flip, but I offered to pay rent to him if I can stay there and move in with my boyfriend, so weve sorta got our own place now! I'll be 22 soon, and my parents still try to be a bit controlling, but working at a factory full time (plus mandatory overtime) definitely helps me get away from them, but it also keeps me away from my new friends and my boyfriend for a bit. Hopefully this changes, but at least I'm making decent money, have a degree, a home, and I'm slowly learning how to become more independent! All that's left to do is unpack the rest of my unfortunate events in very, VERY extensive AND expensive therapy lmao
I appreciate the reads and comments! Thanks for reading!
Congratulations surviving
I'm 77 years old now, but will never forget (or forgive) the day I raced home from fifth grade, triumphantly waving a red folder which contained my first effort at a "term paper" sort of a report. I had worked very hard at it, and got an A+. I burst into the house, thrilled to report the good news. My mother never looked up from her cigarette, and asked, "What about your math?" (My very worst and most detested subject.) It was like an emotional slap across the face.
@@user-dt2sc5dm1u I know that feeling all too well. I'm so sorry. I'm proud of you for putting in the effort!
I accidentally slipped up and showed a tiny sign of my depression in front of my parents. My mom immediately yelled at me that people who do things like that are messed up. She said it as if me having depression would mean I have no worth in this world. I am currently the only person in the world who knows I have serious depression.
Wow. That's really awful. Is there someone neutral you can discuss this with?
@@sarahalbers5555 thank you for replying to this because I don’t remember making this comment 2 yrs ago. This was so helpful because I think I’ve repressed a lot of memories from this time in my life and I can’t remember incidents like this, it’s nice to know I have proof of this incident now.
I’ve been doing much better though I did make an attempt about a year after this comment. After that I was forced into therapy where I was severely emotionally damaged by my therapist. He took my parents side and blamed me for all of my family’s problems which was definitely not good for my mental health. I can’t say I’m doing good but I’m doing a lottttt better. I’m thinking of getting a female therapist but after my recent therapist I don’t think I’ll be able to trust anyone anymore. I’m hoping I’ll find someone I can talk to and trust :)
Do one about toxic siblings. Both when little and grown up.
Plzzzz
yes this is needed!
Sure!
@@Psych2go thanks! 😘
Mostly these people are victims themselves as they are either the Golden Child or Flying Monkeys. Again just mindless minions who follow any order the narcissistic insists.
I have all of these signs and can relate. It isn’t right that other parents are doing this to their children.
I can't believe the first to reply to your comment was this pathetic account, I'm so sorry for you, I agree, no one has the right ti ruin their child's mentality and future
Agreed
my dad always calls my mom's food garbage, he says that he made a mistake marrying her everytime we eat and sometimes leaves the table with an angry attitude. I tried to show him how he's abusive to my mom but then he plays the victim and threatens to remove my name from the school if I say another word...u can't reason with them, u can't negotiate with them
Both my parents are sometimes manipulative. Most of the time I feel angry at at that but whenever they even shows the slightest bit of kindness I feel extremely guilty for all my angry thoughts about them. I honestly don’t know how I feel about them anymore.
1. They are unsupportive & self centered.
2. They don't believe your dreams.
3. They take away your financials like such as money that you need as well with your independency.
4. They compare to your siblings, cousins, & your friends.
5. They're think the worst in you & use you as a pound in the problem of the situations.
6. They don't respect your boundaries & privacy.
7. They don't communicate with you to see how your day went or what you like & even your own opinions.
8. They judge you & tear down your self-esteem.
9. They are emotionally immature.
10. They make you take care of them like a parent.
This was very Helpful Indeed! 👍🏾
THE 5TH POINT HITTED ME HARD ...my mom used to say "you don't want me?" Whenever I say I want to go out or stay somewhere for little times.
Oh yeah, and mine uses phrases like "but we have such a good time together" without taking into account that SHE has a good time, I had no right to say I'm not having a good time because the manipulation starts. And now as a grown adult, I find it so hard to "not feel guilty" when I'm having fun outside and with other people, it's crazy!!!
@@luisaramos6862 i would feel guilty for years if i speak against my mom
I wish I could say: "Mom, leaving someone alone is free... If you want to have a better relationship with me for the next 50 years you should have known that" but I will have the phrase "I'm your mother" and start to read a goddanm essay about her "love" to me
my mom says “you don’t love me anymore” i literally have to just ignore it bc she’s trying to make me feel bad for her and she needs to fix her problems not have me to take them off her mind
I can't say enough about how negatively it impacts your life to have a toxic parent. It took a long long time to overcome a lot of the issues it caused. I feel even worse knowing those things have had a negative impact on my own children.
My dad is like this. My mom used to be, but she's improved a ton. My dad's only gotten worse, I'm not sure he's ever going to change. I especially relate with the "being the parent" thing. I'm constantly having to be his advocate when mom upsets him. Now mom's not perfect, and does the wrong thing sometimes, but living with my dad is like if your parents divorced and continued living together.
Yeah bruh
The fact that this video and this comment section released me from my anxiety and stress says alot.
I was crying watching this video. Tbh, the comment section made me feel better, knowing i am not the only on
I wish I could give a warm hug to everyone who has toxic parents 😔
Me too :(
Ty ❤️
I want it please.... thank you so much
Toxic Parents more like Toxic Owners if Your Parents Treated you like a Dog with the Constant Beating And Starvation
@@ashtonwolf3514 I agree
Sometimes, you don’t need to listen to your parents, you just need to listen to your inner voice, and do what you want ❤️❤️❤️
This video made me realize how toxic my mom really is I mean she blows me off for things i did my mental health, expects me to be at my worst, always starts fights with me, points out my flaws indiscriminately, has made a point to say that she relies on me for mental support, and when ever I don't hand her her way she gives me the silent treatment. my dad however only sometimes blows me off (he has 2 full time jobs) and also points out my flaws indiscriminately
0:12 Abusive. And Harsh-ment. Reacting without thinking about the consequences.
time stamps :]
1 ) unsupportive (0:35)
2 ) expect the worse from you (1:05)
3 ) overburden you (1:37)
4 ) they make you the parent (2:09)
5 ) emotionally dependant on you (2:46)
6 ) no communication with you (3:21)
7 ) use you as a pawn for their own problems (4:05)
Thank goodness my parents don’t have these
This video really hit home. My father was toxic from an early age. As a child I felt like nobody wanted me, since my father made it quite clear he didn't. It took me years of therapy and coaching to realize I deserve to be loved and cared for. For anyone feeling like I did as a child and teen. I know you may not believe it right now, but things will get better ❤️
Agree
It's really hard to think it'll get better until I can move out and get away from my step dad lol
I'm just waiting for my own life, like I really want to have my own home. My parents are so toxic, no one wants this and no one wants to have a parents like mine. People saying "lucky", actually it's not.. I'm drowning over depression, and I'm not a suicidal person but it mades me to do it, still I won't. Kids who are experiencing this right now, I hope you'll are doing fine well, you'll get into the life you wanted. If I ever had a children, I would never do the same thing, I would never made them circulation
INDIAN PARENTS LEFT THE CHAT
Awesome 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Indian parents are the worst 😢😢
My parents were always hard on me, I know I have quite a few symptoms of depression, even accepting that I have depression and they say no, you don't have depression. I even went to the psychologist and he prescribed a medicine for depression and they made me stop therapy because I don't have depression. But everything they did to me, they said as a child ... They already apologized to me, but it is not enough ...
You get a free air hug aslo have a wonderful night, day or afternoon
@@rainynightinthecity1559 thanks 😊
i wish my parents and sister apologized for their wrongdoings too but nah...:')
You get a free air hug too, you deserve it
The emotional dependency/Co dependency and using you as a pawn honestly just got extremely hard. Somehow my mother and step father always have some way of bringing me/my name into their arguments since I was 7. Being used and treated as some type of shield or savior for my mother is something I can’t do anymore. 19 years is enough
You get a free air hug and I hope your day, night or afternoon is wonderful
Bro same those right there hit me, I don’t go to much social events cause I don’t want my mom to run her mouth all the time saying I don’t lover her, or I don’t want you to get hurt, and also she and my stepdad are in deep arguments against over the smallest thing and they don’t bring my name up often but they do, their constant screaming over something that was so small is driving me crazy I still plan on getting a house or apartment soon so I can get out of his house
Thank god my parents aren't toxic, but when I was a baby, they compared my siblings' successes to the ones of my older sister. My oldest sister became so independent and driven at a young age, that it set all of us to try and achieve a standard.
Sadly I had to learn this from my brother, who lives a very different life from my sister, but is still happy.
Don't let parents set standards for you, make your own goals.
What made me cry is the fact of my parents dont comunicate to me well in times of need or anything everything bubbles up. When i do talk im dismissed or blamed as overly dramatic while getting blamed for basicly anything bad for little to huge issues and used as their emotional stress ball it all hurts yet when i talk They make me sound like the crazy person just for being human
It still amazes me that your videos are constantly helping and reaching out to thousands around the world. You are truly changing peoples lives.
Thank you for supporting us!
@@Psych2goCan I ask a question. Will burning my dopamin receptiors by scrolling trough RUclips all day affect me in the future?
Its hard to pinpoint the smaller things. Would love to see a version of this for adults with toxic parents and dealing with that in a way that isnt just cutting them out/how to set and maintain healthy boundaries with those parents
I know
Today I was told that self worth does not depend on the achievements that we are able to reach. We are already important, no matter what we can and can't do because somewhere out there somebody is happy to have us in their live. We are all important to somebody and just by that our existence has meaning.
I hope this gives somebody else as much comfort as ist does to me.
1. Unsupportive
2. Pressure and overburden
3. Made me the parent kinda
4. Kinda of emotionally dependent
5. Don't communicate
6. Use me as a pawn in problems
A few days before my mom had kicked my dad out I just woke up and I heard them fighting so I went to their room and they tried to make me pick between who I love more.
Yep, I relate somewhat to the "overburden you" one. When I was struggling in school, my mom kept pressuring me to do better and kept insisting that I just need to apply myself more. Sometimes I think my intuition and high intelligence were a burden in those formative years, as I was "the smart one" out of three brothers. When I look back, though, that was when my depression really started to kick in, so I can forgive myself for not living up to those expectations. It wasn't that I wasn't applying myself, it was that I had formed a mental illness that made school much more difficult.
The other one that I relate to, quite a lot actually, is the "made you the parent" one. My parents were constantly working and I barely saw them, and my younger brother has ASD, so I had to watch over and guide him when my parents or teachers weren't around. Sure, they made time to do "family things" with me, but I recall just being cooped up in my room whenever I had free time, and spent most of that on my computer. The people pleasing and issues with exploitative friends/lovers/family members has definitely been something that I've been struggling with over the years, and now I'm realizing that being my own parent as a kid may be what caused that to happen.
Such a moving essay. Psych2go really makes us calmer.
Whats cray is that this got uploaded while my step father is over here threating to knock me out and calling me all types of names. im so grateful for my mother for defending me, even when she knows that i have no voice at all.
Most of these I relate to while my school counselor said they're probably just overly strict I think it's more than that. Once I was moving my chair in the dining room and a couple of cereal boxes and a pretty good sized pot fell on my head. My mom asked what happened and I explained it to her and she said "That's what happens when you move your chair." She didn't even ask if I was ok. I could have had a gash in my head and I could have been bleeding but nothing even closely related to Are you Okay was said. My dad came in the room and started yelling at me and I was trying to explain my feelings to him and he said "Your Feelings Don't Matter" and that hurt me in multiple ways. Telling your child you give no simpithy for there sadness, anger or any other emotions completely destroyed me. That's one of the main reasons why I'm depressed because I'm so young that it's hard for me to get help and while I'm at home my parents yell at me almost on a daily basis and I'm afraid at any moment they can come in my room and destroy my feelings like every other time and I never have any control over anything so I just want my parents to die for the pain they put me through.
In the past few months somehow I realized that my parents are toxic and that there is actually nothing wrong with me. I always was a weirdo and they literally tried to change me. Like everything on me. Physically, Mentally. They played me so many times but when I told them about that they did everything for me and that immediately put me in a position that I'm not worth it. So now I don't want to make them proud any more. All I need is peace and a new home just for me. I wanna live far away from them. Like I still respect and love them but I cannot live like this anymore. I'm thankful for this video also because it just helped me confirming what I already find out ♡
Even if I try to speak with them they are like: "You're not right. We did everything for you and you did nothing for us. You are useless"
My mom and dad always behaved like that, they never learned how to put their issues apart from me and I constantly ended trying to help their relationship. Really harder for a 7yo child. The best advice that I can give is to be strong enough to put them on the line. I know it hurts because we care about our parents BUT KNOW THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TRULY TAKE CARE OF WHAT YOU NEED AND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. DON'T BE AFRAID OF FREEING YOURSELF. A big HUG 4 ya 🖤
That is true
Thats why u now dress as clown?
@@Aman-td9nl keep hating ;)
@@Aman-td9nl Clowns are great
@@A.R.I.A.N.A. why would I hate someone who has nothing to scare me off?
I told my dad about my depression years ago. I showed him an article and everything, too. He read it, looked indifferent at me, said "so what, I feel that way all the time".
My spirit guides are helping me understand that my dad is very toxic and abusive, and this video in particular is helping me. I don't want to take my time and energy and keep giving it to someone that only wants an audience to his self created misery.
This comes quite as a shock to me. For the last few years, I've realized how toxic and gaslighting my father is. I even cut off communication and visits to his house entirely about 6 months ago. Lately, my brother has been telling me that, since I'm honest about how I feel about our dad, he thinks our mom is toxic as well. I disagreed with him at first, thinking he was taking it further than what was actually happening. Now, seeing this video, I'm realizing... he's right. Not one of these traits are traits our parents both have, but they each have one half of the list, crapping about the other parents toxic behavior. It's heartbreaking knowing that you can have two toxic parents and side with one of them as your sibling sides with the other...
(Disclaimer: our father is the most pathetic parent while our mother is ambitious, which both me and my brother agree on. Although, our mother is arguably better at getting the upper hand on us than our father. Luckily, we're both of age to move out, and probably will soon)
The first one for me is kinda of what is happening to me. I’m a trans male and they don’t really support me and are saying stuff like “it’s because of puberty” and it kinda makes me feel like they think it’s a phase even tho I’ve felt is way since I 8-9 years old
Me too I haven't come out to my parents and they also say that I behave like a boy because of puberty
First of all, good job embracing who you are in the face of adversity. It's too easy to sink back down and away from the truths within because it's not accepted or supported.
Secondly, your parents aren't wrong in what they're saying, but how they're saying it. Gender exploration typically begins around 7 years old, so it is common to coincide with puberty.
Before you read my advice, remember that you know your parents and I don't. If any of this isn't something they'd respect or appreciate, please don't follow it. That being said: If you talk with them again, the best advice I could give is consider what they've said. Tell them that you understand that it could be related to puberty, but you don't feel it is. Remind them that this is a journey that we all go through, and you'd like them to be there with you as you discover your truth. And that you appreciate their stance as a challenge, but ask if they can maintain it while also supporting you in your self discovery.
And finally, remember that all of these challenges are not wasted on you. It's difficult, way more than it has to be, but every single one you overcome can reinforce what you already know:
You love yourself.
You are strong.
You are resilient.
You are valid.
Your feelings are valid.
You are loved, even by people you have never, and probably will never, meet.
Stay strong and get to the other side!
The main thing with my mom is that she ignores my attempts to communicate things are wrong. She ignores my feelings, pretends to care than minutes later it's back to square one. She's always trying to discourage me from my dreams and ideas of what I want to do and become. Sometimes even preventing them. She sometimes talks as if I'm stupid or I don't think things through. She acts like I owe her and tells me I'm selfish and a brat. She refuses to speak my love language dialect. She's subtly controlling and a little passive. Not sympathetic or empathetic (which to a possible HSP and empath that is a hard jab). She doesn't accept I have a different worldview and ideas, she'll outright say I have twisted ideas or they're wrong. They're not wrong they're just not her pov. I often feel like an outcast in my family (it's not just her and abuse does run in the family), unsupported, and unloved. I'm at the point by now I'm pretty convinced I've been gaslighted and have a toxic family that goes from okay to toxicity randomly. It's exhausting to deal with. She also downplays my depression and anxiety and OCD by saying I don't have it because I had an easy life. Even when I had bad anxiety at 16 she refused to get me seen because she thought it was in my head and I would get over it. I'm 22 and still have to manage it, I can't live alone and I get stressed easily as a result of anxiety and depression. I don't know basic adult things like how to manage a credit card and pay for it or how to house hunt or even who's a trustworthy person, which overwhelms me and stresses me out more. Being a single mom isn't easy but she could've done better.
You get a free air hug also have a wonderful night, day or afternoon.
My family is so messed up, it's like being around them is a fever dream. Talking to them or talking about them is like there's something speaking to you like trying to talk you out of it or saying you're wrong. That's how messed up it is.
A family full of abusers, racists, homophobes (which isn't good for me and some of the kids) drunks, gas lighters, and those who survive wound up mentally ill and challenged. And for those who think they're in control, they're simply not. They just don't wanna admit it. They feel tied to these people because they're family. If someone does something bad it's "okay" cause "they come from a different time" or "they're family..they didn't mean it"
It gets so bad it's affecting me. I don't even know who I am. Am I in control? What's my name? What is here trying to talk to me.
I started to watch your videos on toxic parents and mental health a long time ago, and they are resurfacing on my fyp, these are helping me realize that maybe I need to have a talk with my mom.
I'm exceedingly relieved and grateful that my parents were nothing like this
You should not comment things like this over here where majority of viewer and commenter are going through abuse. It hurts the abused one's feelings more. Imagine you are poor+your life is messed up because of it and a rich guy comes to you and starts boasting about how AMAZING his life is because he is rich. How would you feel?
@@akibalnur8070 my apologies, that wasn't my intent
@@akibalnur8070 Well,look at you. Getting all high and mighty.
@@LiquidToast42 Meh
My mom had started behaving really toxic since I turned 11, but she was kind of the polar opposite before that. When it all started I was completely confused. I've always been childish and clumsy. Before all that started to happen, my mother handled me in the best way I could have asked for. Whenever I did something childish, she would often join in and we would end up enjoying for hours. She rarely scolded me for messing up things, instead teaching me why it's not good and how to fix it. Whenever I felt down, she used to patiently approach me, and boy did that patience work. I loved our relationship. But, something happened. I remember the exact date it started: 5th December 2015. I don't know why, she started snapping at me for the littlest of things - as trivial as bumping my leg into a table. It was really confusing. For the first few weeks I just put it down as her being upset about something, idk, money I guess? But it did not stop, rather it increased. It felt as if all of a sudden I was expected to be perfect: no childishness, no silly things, no messing up, no *crying* . That last one hurt the most. My mom was the only person I wanted to be consoled by, and the next thing I knew, she wasn't willing to even see me in tears, much less even attempt to help. For like 4 months I still put it down as I was just expected to be "grown up" now. The teachers at school had already been drilling that into our brains. "You're in 6th grade, now. You're not kids anymore. Behave like grown ups. Forget all that unnecessary fun." was what we heard from every teacher, at the start of every class. And the way adults behaved in front of me didn't help either. For some reason all of them never showed any significant emotion, hiding their feelings from us. They always tried to be an absolute stone, as if the adults weren't *allowed* to show emotions, or be vulnerable around the young. We were expected to leave all our childhood behind, and then we would read stories in language about kids behaving like they do - like kids. The irony can't be overstated. And so it all carried on for like 2 years. Me and my brother became the only emotional support available to each other, we no longer trusted our parents. I honestly just used to wish to grow up and go away for good, leaving behind all the bitterness I had. And I used to feel guilty about it, because none of my friends had those kinds of parents. I would be reminded of those good times, and it would feel morally bad on my side to leave the parents who provided for me. Whenever I opened up about it, my friends didn't have a clue what to say. All I could get was: they're just wanting good for you. I don't blame them - I was never good at explaining, and they couldn't possibly relate to what I said, because they never experienced it themselves. We didn't know parents could be less than perfect.
Then I came to know about toxic parents. Honestly I was tempted to call it that, distance myself as far as possible from my parents, and when I grow up, I leave for good and never return again. But those good memories, of times before didn't allow me. So, at 13 years of age, I decided - I have nearly 7 years before I leave my family for college and stuff. Instead of being a crybaby about this, I'm gonna give all I can to change it - back to way it was. Because 40 years later I don't wanna be standing at my mom's funeral regretting our broken relationship while my kids blame me for forgetting their grandma to be neglected in a slum (Yes, I do have crazy thoughts, but good news - at least it worked).
After over a full year of heated arguments, getting beaten and almost being thrown out, finally, FINALLY I convinced her to look at things our way. Finally she realized. Almost 4 years later, my family is now the way I always wanted.
Looking back, it was all thanks to my dad. After mom had changed, he was the closest to her old and accepting nature. Maybe it was all meant to be. Before, I didn't use to... you know, have the same relationship with him as with my mom. I still loved him, but somewhere it wasn't as close and special before. That's a bit of my fault. Who knows, maybe all this *was* meant to be.
I started to cry throughout this whole video because of thinking of my family. This is so relatable. They always blame me for things I don’t do or scold me for being home 2 minutes late. I almost committed suicide because of this hard life i have. Im only just 11 and when i was 10 i thought that i was old enough so i can finally get out of this mess! Hopefully no one else is going thought this.😢
I know my mom is toxic, and this video really helped understand more so I know I'm not making things up.
You legit should be a pro voice actor, and I very much enjoy the casual dip into the human psyche your channel provides
Thanks for the kind words! Amanda is a singer as well!
@@Psych2go Can't say I'm surprised lol
Who else have toxic parents?
T_T
Moi unfortunately
Almost every children in my neighborhood, I often hear children crying and adults yelling in the evening 😰
I've been dealing with bullies my whole life and my mother never believed me and always forced me to deal with it all by myself. I developed trauma and mentle disorders because of the bullying and abuse. I flinch whenever someone steps to close or try to touch me.
I had to deal with 3 years of therapy and nothing helped.
Yesterday my step father aruge with my older brother and instead of staying and ask for comfort from my own family. I ran out of my own home and cried to my friend which triggered my anxiety.
Psycho2Go, every video from this channel relates to my deeply.
I have childhood trauma, am mentally ill, and I have been went through these all, and still going through some of it. As I am an adult now, I can defend myself.
My parents, siblings, relatives hurted me the most, but I am happy that at the end I learn how to forgive others. I just wish the best to them!
I wish the best to you too.
Ironic how we were just talking about our toxic parents as this notification pops up :)
Literally- irony much???
@@sayoriamagumo hi sibling
@@rikuumii hallo, totally am not sitting right next to you
@@sayoriamagumo are yall actually siblings?
Okay, with the first sign. Me and my dad do disagree with some things but he doesn’t make me think I’m not good enough. I unfortunately do that myself and think that he’ll think the same.
The third sign, isn’t too far off. However the intentions are different. (Prepare for some Heinz Doofenshmirz backstory material) Both of my parents had a defining rough point in their lives. My dad and his family grew up poor (insert a Markiplier makes joke here) but he worked hard and did his best. My mom grew up better off than my dad and eventually they met each other. But one day, my grandpa on my moms side died in the military (I partially forget where but I remember that he was a pilot), and when he did, my grandma on my moms side didn’t let my dad be around my mom for I think 3-4 years. Eventually they both got back together, married, and had me and my siblings. They had rough lives and don’t want me to have a rough life. So they try their best to push me to find my potential. And I’m glad they do.
It's one thing for parents or coaches to push us past our limits... You can't really know what your limits are until you've reached them and tried for more. It's unfortunate that it's how the world works, but how do you know "for sure" that you can... say... "dead lift" 450 pounds but no more until you've tried and failed to dead lift 451 pounds???
For us who are out there doing the lifting or running the mile or trying for another 3-pointer... or studying through nights to get the highest possible marks in school... whatever... When we finally get past our limits and fall flat on our faces in tears, it feels like we've disappointed everybody... we've let our parents and coaches and all down...
Here's where you figure out "Toxic" from "Not Toxic"... AND it's important to know that everybody feels disappointment... We can't help it. It's an emotion and it doesn't just flit away on call... We all have our different ways of expressing it, and we all have our different ways of coping with it...
The Toxic coach/parent/friend... whatever... will ridicule us for not giving our best shot. They'll pick apart every mistake or misstep and make snide remarks like we're somehow slacking off... like we know better... we didn't practice enough... didn't study the material... didn't try... AND then it moves directly into jokes and teasing and insults... we're the fools... we suck... we can't because (blah-blah-blah)...
The Healthy coach/parent/friend... whatever... will be quiet a moment... They'll even take a few minutes to compose themselves... They'll pick their words for us with a little care. They hurt FOR us and OUR disappointment. They know we don't like to lose... to fail... AND they know we're hurting and tired and tried everything we could. They show us comfort and love anyway. They might ask something about "well, what happened?" or "did you learn something?" AND they might even take us out to dinner like it's almost a celebration, even though we're feeling low... AND they'll maybe offer some wit or wisdom and then try to lighten us up because of something like "There's always next time." or "You can whip their ass next year." They'll remind us that as long as we did our best, we can hit the showers without worrying about "what if I'd just tried more?"... AND we're still their kid... their student... their player... and they'll ALWAYS be proud of that... and of us... not just when we win or score well.
Yeah... Sometimes even the healthy ones tease us a little bit, and play jokes and pranks... They do that so we never forget that life's too short to take everything too damn seriously. It's okay to laugh once in a while and dish out as good as you've gotten... ;o)
I can relate to all of the signs in this video. It's to the point where I've decided to just never have kids of my own, partly because they never taught me anything about being a functional adult, but honestly I've spent nearly my whole life wondering if my parents regretted having kids (I'm almost fully convinced that they do), and I wouldn't want to risk my own kids worrying about that.
when i was a kid, maybe 4 or 5, i really wanted to dance. i told both my parents and they ignored it. a while later, i had this moment when i realized what i wanted to do for the rest of my life, i wanted to make people feel as happy as i felt through making art and music. i was maybe 6 at the time but i was dead set on it. i told my dad and he told me to give up on my art/music dreams because it was impractical and would never happen. a couple years later he was trying to sign me up for piano and guitar lessons but i hated doing it because i felt so discouraged. i’ve never forgotten it and a few years ago i brought it up to my dad and he told me he didn’t even remember telling me that.
watch with teary eyes, I can feel every single one of them. A divorced parents are who are both narcissistic and negligent. I wonder what I should do to find myself and supportive and loving environment.
Can 100% relate
One time, my father belittled my love of writing amateur stories for myself. I told him that it takes longer to finish a story, but he undermined me in such a hurtful way, he basically ruined one of the few things that enjoyed. 💔💔💔💔💔
I feel like he enjoys ruining everything for me without batting an eye.
Last year, I didn't attend school for 3 days and wanted 1 more day off , but my parents became so furious that they started kicking, Punching,slamming and my mother literally poured 1L diesel on me and lit it up, it was thanks to God I was able to break the window and jumped out from my room and rubbed my myself in the vacant place next to our house
that day i got to know that the exact meaning of thd the quote "every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child"
.....
A- are you ok?
@@poorvisingh4749 I still have the burn marks and scars,cuts, wound
@@EBBX. dang. Will you be fine now or?
@@poorvisingh4749 No , I've been traumatized,from that incident on, I rarely even speak a word to parents, I just go to college, Come Home, Study, Get the chores done, remembering that incident gives me shivers
Even at the dinning table, I just simply eat without talking, without making any eye contact even with my siblings.
the first one hit me hard, cause this recently happened to me. i scored bad in one of my exams lately and my mom said "maybe the reason you didn't score well even after studying is because you're probably just dumb, instead of playing games all the time you should probably stick to studying more".
i agree that i didn't score well and it was completely my fault, but i just don't know what happened. she passes such comments all the time and i'm practically used to it now, but that one has just stuck with me. it's been well over a month but i just can't seem to get over it. i'm losing interest in everything, i can't help but feel guilt when i do anything that would cause me the slightest of entertainment, i feel like i'm too dumb to study even basic chemistry or physics, i loved math but i don't really think i'm smart enough anymore. i've started to strongly believe that my whole life i just pretended to be smart and did enough to just get by but never got caught.
i'm sorry for going on a rant, but it's been on my mind for too long. if you read through all of this then thank you for giving your time to a random stranger on the internet, i hope you have an amazing day.
I relate to a few of these from having to take care of my youngest sister because my parents were busy to watching them freak out when my other sister tried to open up about depression. Ive known something was wrong with it all i just figured it cant be considered toxic because ive seen other peoples more toxic parents.
You get a free air hug aslo have a wonderful night, day or afternoon .
@@rainynightinthecity1559Thanks
The animations made me cry because I recognized them.
High five!
@@Psych2go 🖐 :,)
this...hits too close to home for me and...to everyone who has a toxic parent/parents, i'm sorry and make sure to say strong! we're here for you, you're not alone and you will get out of there soon! stay safe everyone!
This fit my dad in a way and makes my actions more fitting. He often gaslights me and my therapist about these thing and try to make it seem like it didn't happen. I needed this video.
To be honest , it's like there are double standard for me . My mom would say "your grade doesn't matter what matters is how much you understood it " but she would be like " where are your 5 marks , you shouldn't be happy on this if you don't get out off how are you gonna do in other classes" and honestly it's just stresses me out and it's not about just studies in other things too .
Body shaming me , making fun of me asking me to be perfect at every little things even if I'm doing it for the first there are no exception that by step I'll learn it well
I have lost my spirit over all the interest I had cuz whats the use of it ? I want to become an psychologist but form their perspective it's not an good job or its not an career for them , for them you have to work for money .
I even wonder last time I talked well with so called family of mine . It's always like they just want me to achieve they haven't forgetting about my own things
I just hoped that only if they were healed from there scars so that I haven't suffer this much .
I hope most kids wouldn’t end up having toxic parents!
well there's lot of things but the fact that whn i was about 14-15 y/o i heard my mom speak to one of our relative that i was going to be aborted (she didn't notice i was behind her ) and the fact they always expected the worst from me when i was never even near to how worst the expected from and at my worst i was reminded every night before i sleep how worthless i was period . making me cry till i sleep ( at that time i use to study 12 hrs a day and completed a years portion in 3 months and all the demotivation finally worked n i am still depressed for 3 years working everyday to get better hoping someday ill get better )
The big one I went through is an emotionally dependent parent. What is worse is, trying explain that results in a lot of "but they love you and just love being with you." And "they are the parents, they make the rules." This on top of my mom being narcissistic and having anger issues. It came out a lot during high school and into college
Honestly this video is true in the fact that my parents are emotionally dependent and don’t really let me out of their sight. Whenever I wanna go hang out with friends outside of school, they say they have to be there or were doing some else. Whenever I’m home, I have no relaxation time until I go to bed because they don’t let me sit down for more the five minutes without calling me. They have to go with me everywhere and honestly I’ve noticed when they do leave me alone, I’m happier.
You get a free air hug and aslo have a wonderful night,day or afternoon.
Toxic people and parents are just terrible 😟
I can’t process the content I’ve watched. This has truly opened my eyes. I can’t do this anymore.
When I forget to take something out (mail/recycling) my mom would always tell me “I can’t trust you with a simple thing anymore.”
Last time said: 20 seconds ago.
Times said in the past 6 months: 7 (now 8)
I feel like most people can relate to the never giving you a chance to grow from mistakes and the overburdening parts of this list some even parents who don’t listen to you. Ayy man, child services is always an option. Parents are supposed to be encouraging and let you grow on your own as you get older until they finally let you go. But great video from @Psych2Go you did a great job:)
my parents ruined my life by pressuring me to study in complex fields that I'm not interested in and then I gave up on college cuz they drove me nuts with their gaslighting and now they harass me about being a failure, I'm still thinking about going back to school but idk
I get so much mental help with your videos I love them so much and I am praying for everyone who needs these videos to
Ya know, I'm unsure whether my mum is toxic. Sometimes we have laughs and we joke, and we're happy a lot of the time, but there are other times where she seems to.. Degrade me slightly. Yet deep inside, while listening to this video, I could relate to a couple of these points during those moments where she isn't jokey and says things that make me feel worse about myself.
But for those that do have toxic households, I pray you'll be able to get through it and that you'll heal
YUp, i'm an adult woman and my mother STILL does most of these. It's draining and problematic, most times I feel it's my fault but as a grown woman I also have the right and now knowledge to say "It's you!" and break free from it. First step was knowing it's toxic and detach from it all. Not from her as a mother but from her behavior. It's hers and I put my boundaries now, if you can't comply with aid boundaries, then we can't have a conversation.
I wouldn't say my mom is toxic but she definitely is a helicopter parent. She would never let me do anything myself unless I asked her first. I still have this panic that of I don't ask first I'd be doing something wrong against her wishes or wants. I'm 23 and have a job (still living at home because my mom says she would worry to much about me living on my own away from home and I have a mental disability that she makes me think I couldn't financially support myself) and pay for things myself and thankfully have gotten into the habit of telling my mom that I'm doing this or that without having to ask instead. I still feel guilty about doing things my way because all my life I've had to ask for permission first and if it was no I couldn't do it at all. I wanted a video game on my computer and I told my mom that I was buying it. She said no and a week later I bought it anyway. My mom saw me playing it and I told her it was a game I bought. She didn't even remember that she told me no previously. It still made me guilty anyway. Does anyone else feel like that?
your not alone my brother i’m 20 and go through this i’m sick of this
@@hotboyeddy3519 😔😔 it sucks
@@maddyinthemaking how have you coped with it all i do is smoke weed behind her back and play video games
@@hotboyeddy3519 I don't anymore. I don't think me and my parents even have an actual relationship other than family bonds
I have toxic GRANDPARENTS. It got to the point where I don't even feel like a part of the family anymore... The littlest things they ask of me (making dinner, etc) are more taxing on me and feel like more of a chore.. And, even if I screw up, they reprimand me, even if I do the best I can. I feel so alone and yet they blame ME for not talking to THEM. I tried a few times and.... still feel like a failure.
You get a free air hug. also have a wonderful night,day or afternoon
@@rainynightinthecity1559yeah
Everyone know that when going through something difficult, it usually helps to have someone to talk to about it professionally. Because of this, some parents will tell their children certain things which wouldn’t normally be said, because they think they have no one else to talk to and they don’t go to therapy. It is from these instances of gaining insight that I better understood why I was being treated a certain way, and the name summarizing a breakdown of patterns noticed which I put to it was.
Toxic Parent 101: Can’t cope with the stress of work never feeling appreciated. Promotions are deserved but hardly given. So because they don’t get enough validation at work, they go home demanding it from a child that already feels thankful.
They insist the child is feeling a problematic way and threaten conditional support to help deal with the feeling of powerlessness.
When these inflammatory accusations and misconceptions receive push back because conditional support is on the line, being that this issue stems from work stress they default to saying the child is “argumentative,” and precede to threaten conditional support.
Then this traumatic experience they are pushing the child away with sets the toxic person back to claiming the child isn’t happy enough around you, stuck in a never ending cycle of dissatisfaction as the result of a one way conversation where their voice is the only truth that can exist, by any means necessary.
Nice essay
I really am crying about the last on like it hurt so badly and i can relate so much to this. I know i am an disappointment for them but wtv thank you so much for making this channel a super place where we can express ourselves ^^
Your videos have taught me so much, thank you.
Happy to hear that!
@@Psych2goYour videos are so good
You guys should do a video about different gender identities and the types of dysphoria that may come with them.
I second this
That's a good topic. Let us work on it with the team!
@@Psych2go please and also a video on how to come out too.
@@Psych2go I follow a few transgender RUclipsrs , Although they MAY not be willing to talk { to you for your research or for recording of the video } . 👨💼🤳🇦🇺🇳🇴
I feel so sorry for everyone who needs to go through this 😓
This video has helped me to come to terms with my parents. I had experiences like this for a while and only realizing now that I am dealing with toxic parents. I have tried to be a good daughter, I always ask them if they need help with anything and I bring them nice gifts without expecting anything in return. All I get is no respect, my boundaries are ignored, I was told hurtful names and blaming me for stuff that I did not do. I have been gaslighted by my parents. Even when they went to apologize oh they sound so sweet on the phone but in person it is completely different. It breaks my heart that my parents are like this all I wanted was for them to love and accept me but I realize now they never will in a healthy way which does hurt i think it will defintely take me some time to heal. I am glad that I have the love of my friends and my boyfriend