Psych2Go is on a mission to raise awareness of mental health and destigmatize mental health issues. We hope that this video will encourage you to talk.
Right? I'm just like: "wait, your parents are your friends?" Hell, even seeing how close they were to their siblings threw me off. I grew up in a family of 8 and somehow it's been the single most lonely experience I have yet to encounter. It's destroying me as a person
Exactly. I'm going through anxiety now but I say the hell away from my 'dad'. I don't really see him as my dad anymore and that left me so confused but now I get it. I'm honestly uncomfortable and terrified of him 24/7. Like I hear his voice, his footsteps, him coming home from work, saying "I love you" to me, or calling me by my nickname I feel super terrified and disgusted
I visited a friends' house as a kid, when his dad came home I immediately panicked and hid. I couldn't understand how he felt comfortable around his dad. Even as I got older, I refused to believe it when I saw other families being happy and comfortable, I couldn't trust that it was real and thought it was a facade when out in public. Didn't click until a few years ago.
all of you guys do not worry, this will not happen with our coming generation... Cause we will be parents at that time and we know very well what our child is suffering from specially at teenage! ;)
Just a heads-up for others: Parents aren't always the cause. For me, it was my school environment that caused my trauma. My family was actually very supportive! But trauma is trauma; the cause may be different but we're just as valid!
My middle school environment was the WORST! Your school environment can be trauma inducing. If it weren't for my faith or music, I would've been self destructive. It took going to a private school for less than two months for me to progress and enroll in high school.
School was hell for me. I got picked on from the time I started school till I quit. Then had to go home an get sexually abused an beaten. I’m defeated.
My emotions got shut down with “I’ll give you something to cry about!” and “stop it, you’re gonna make yourself sick!” Mom was a closet alcoholic and covert narc. Dad was stern, scary, short fused and probably on the spectrum and had no idea what to do with emotional issues. Thanks for the validation and comfort that I get from your vids. You are doing important and life changing work.
I colliquilly use to call the non bios(adoptive parents!) Psycho and the poison dwarf! Takn the p helps with reducing psychotic rage n depression that us victims often get left with! Using humor to pmsl at em is theraputic trust! 👍
Whenever I would get upset about anything, I was told that I was too sensitive. I learned to clam up and not say anything. Repressing your emotions will hurt you for your entire life. I know. I’ve done it for most of mine. I’m typically a people pleaser though. I just want to be needed and loved. It stinks because occasionally I blow like a volcano.
Number 2, 3 and 4 are literally me. My mom constantly criticized me, berated me and talked down to me if I voiced my opinion that wasn't in line with her. My mom discreted my feelings as overreacting and childish. I understand she was a single mom who was going through a difficult time herself. But under no circumstances you take that anger out on anyone. Especially not a child.
I can sympathize. For me it was my dad, but my mom didn't stop him so she's just as much to blame. Constant arguments in the house between them, me being a mediator as a child, and my emotions being brushed off as daddy issues.
wow, hearing age regression being addressed so casually an directly is so nice. age regression is not in any way related to nsfw things (contrary to popular assumption), it's a trauma response and coping mechanism and is often involuntary. and indeed, sometimes it is NOT fun. thank you for mentioning it
@@ilikegeorgiabutiveonlybeen6705 unfortunately lots of people assume age regression is equivalent or somehow remotely similar to k*nks or s3xu4l roleplay. it's gross :,)
@tiredcritter Did people make the assumption because of the kinks where one person calls their partner(s) something like "mommy" or "daddy" and/or someone calling a loved one "baby"? I would think that if it was a kink thing, then the ones in the relationship discussed it and consented to it. But I never would have considered age regression like what the video described as a kink.
@@airmanon7213 age regression is not a kink, but people assume it is, i guess because both communities often use childlike objects and may act childish. the similarities end there. they are completely different concepts with completely different purposes.
My childhood was horrible. I was sexually assaulted by my 16 year old neighbor when I was 6. I watched my dad beat my mom all the time. I also have anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder. I have an 8 year old son that I have to be careful around because anger is a huge side effect but he has a great life, he’s very comfortable and tells me things he won’t tell anyone else. He’s very loved and I’m happy he’s here. I need to not let my mental illnesses affect him
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're doing well now. It must've been difficult for you.Your neighbour deserves to be in jail, how can someone think about that, for a child. You've gone through a lot. You should get a therapy and do meditation.I really hope, everything gets better for you. And have faith in God, he'll help you for sure. I wish for your happiness :)
@@hrichasrivastava7589 I’m so sorry about that. I was sexually harassed by my ex bf at 16 years old and because of that, I have anxiety and depression. I’m sorry for what you went through. Just know you’re not alone and I hope you’re doing well along with your son ❤❤
The best revenge is having a happy life, someone said. I am so sorry to read you went through such terrible experiences. You can be successful and change that pattern of what others did to you by getting counseling, going to church & learning how very much God loves you & being all you deserve. It will also make a great impression on your son. God bless you & hope all the best for you.
I've been going to therapy for about 7 months now and have been diagnosed with compounded complex trauma. It's incredible to me how much of my childhood i thought was normal until I got older and noticed my friends weren't scared of their parents. They didn't get screamed at or hit anytime they challenged, questioned anything, or voiced their own thoughts on something. Going to a friend's house where they have a safe environment is a real eye opener.
Your comment resonated with me. When I was about 10, I had the (rare) chance to discover that normal fathers laugh and joke and interact with their children. Such shocks are useful, though - the more you analyse what is unconventional, the sooner you stop blaming yourself for the abnormalities. Very best wishes.
Yeah I find myself out and about every single day originally I just thought that's how I was but apparently learning more information as I went along and more definitions and things it's been rough and it's been way more rough than I thought it was. I was aware of several parts of my situation for a long time but I thought there must be a damn good reason for it live and learn sigh. now comes the finding out what I need to know getting out and rebuilding stage. And yes casually observing what's going on around you while you're out can even open the eyes of a blind man. I've got to ask myself a lot of questions now not the least of which is will I ever find the answers I need? From a young age I was always into retro and older stuff radio shows TV shows electronics games and music. I wonder if that's part of it and I wonder how harmful it is to continue because I've kind of shaped my life that way at this point.
@@theatomicpunkkid Therapy is helpful at finding answers, but l have found that making the best of the present is even better. All your retro interests sound splendid - but if they remind you of uncomfortable times, there is a world of other stuff you could explore. RUclips alone is full of marvels!
@@rosemaryallen2128 no they don't really remind me of uncomfortable times in fact they were some of the best times I had with my friends outside this main mess. I left a comment up top that basically sums up where I am now and I'm pretty sure it's true.
I knew i had but damn… checked all the boxes. I hate it when other people just say things like, “you can’t be ‘traumatized’ it wasn’t that bad” coming from a person whose parents cared. The amount of times I was told to shut up when talking or ignored completely. I as a young child noticed that my mother was kind and loving when guests were over so I would start to hug and talk to her during those moments.
I am very old now, 75. After being a very busy adult, working and raising children, I had time to think about my childhood and its possible effects on me, because I still have numerous behaviors as listed in this video. I was the youngest child;I was like a ghost child. Fed and clothed, never complimented, never told I was loved. My siblings all had something special they offered my parents. My sister became a nun, and my brothers simply had to be males. I was very attached to my parents, but I realize the touching and affection was from me to them, not the other way around. Very difficult to stand up for myself, and always afraid I am going to make someone mad at me. I believe this all has led me to over eat. It's my way of doing something nice for myself, as horrible as it seems to say that. That is my risky behavior, which I am having a hard time stopping.
I hope you won't be offended, because I am not trying to offer some sort of quick fix or some prayer that will miraculously heal all, but maybe you could try ho'oponopono. It helped me immensely and maybe it could help you too if you would like to try. Sending you love❤
I over eat too. It's really hard for me to stand up for myself as well. I remember one time, our teacher told me in front of the class that I eat whenever I'm happy or sad. The class was silent and didn't laugh. I didn't dare look at my classmates because if I see them snickering, I knew I wouldn't forget their faces. I felt really humiliated but I just sat there and said nothing. I couldn't tell anything to my parents because they'd just brush it off.
I'm so sorry to hear that awful thing happened to you! I think we were meant for better than we have been shown. I hope you will have better days. I wish we could change the terrible, awfulness of it all. I wish it was only good. I will pray for you. Some people are just awful. Glad it is not everyone. Life can be so hard. I hope you have happy times. We need that. We have to eat as humans. No shame in that. That person wronged you. I hope we can all move forward somehow. God, please, please(!!!!!) help us!! In Jesus name, Amen. Please restore us fully to who you made us to be Lord Jesus, our Messiah! By the blood of your son God, plealse heal us as you have healed others before us! Please get us through our trials and hardships, all of these crazy times and extremely unkind people... Amen. Please be our friend. Please also bring us true friends. In your name Jesus, I pray, Amen.
I grew up in the era of “children should be seen but not heard” when I look back I realise that was wrong & did not do this with my children, they have grown up with a healthy self esteem & im so proud of them. It still hurts sometimes what I experienced, but I understand & have come to terms with it, my parents took me to a child psychiatrist when I was 6 because I was so anxious, but it was just brushed off really. I still wonder why sometimes but I’ve just pushed past it as I’m in my 50s now, I can’t let that define my life
It’s the parents hour children should be seen but not heard! I remember that. But it wasn’t an hour…it was the time from after dinner until bedtime. I remember taking Maalox and Valium in middle school I had an ulcer from anxiety…does that tell you something?
I told my dad I was suicidal and he told me “no your not” and moved on that’s what made me realize he wasn’t the best person. It’s like always knew something was wrong but that’s what made me realize it
I met my childhood friend a few months ago, I went over and stayed there for a while too. Eventually, I kept seeing how respectful and happy they were with their parents even though they were already a teen. The more time i spent with them, the more i got jealous of their relationship with their parents. I didn't want to cause any issues, so i would eventually just leave. I've always wondered what it would feel like to not go though continuous trauma your entire childhood since then. I'm still jealous -.-
This is making me realize how bad my situation was for me. The fact that I’d get jealous over parents that deeply cared for their kids and showed it. Properly paying attention to their emotions and handling it with the utmost care. People forget that it’s also neglect when your emotional needs aren’t met. I knew something was not ok when I realized how stressed out and scared I would become of my mom and dad sometimes.
I can’t speak for your friend but I’m happy around my parents and respectful but that doesn’t mean my life has been sunshine and rainbows. I’ve gone through some stuff but we’re working at it. I know it’s so hard to not feel jealousy and I’m sorry you ever had to feel this way. Please for the sake of yourself, get some professional help. Remember only you can make this change! I believe you can do it!
It makes me so sad that my parents brush off the illness of PTSD. I have been diagnosed with PTSD recently and I always feel heartbroken knowing that the experiences I had growing up weren't normal. I am still living with my parents (I'm in high school) and I always try to avoid conflict as much as possible for my little sister, as I can tell she is obviously experiencing the traumatic aftereffects of her childhood that are still ongoing. I always tear up when I see her flinch every time my Dad just walks past or near her.
Sending you safe hugs if you’re open to them. ☺️❤️ Sounds a lot like PTSD day by the description you gave. Do you have medical insurance? If you can’t afford it there’s a high probability you qualify for free insurance through your state. Therapy and psychiatric care are free with state insurance. Starting professional mental healthcare completely transformed my relationship with my dad who used to behave ragingly angry and scary. Being from a brutally violent country with only excessively corrupt government leadership and a literal 100% social norm of treating and discussing women as property like a plot of land, and presuming children are always consistently immoral, immature, inferior, and untrustworthy mixed with unresolved past trauma were at the root of emotionally lashing out when simply overwhelmed. Not justifying but I do want to understand how and why he acted like that. The influences. Setting clear boundaries and being more vulnerable with him in conversation. Discussion of why I personally can’t engage with anyone with being rude, disrespectful, and insensitive towards me for any reason at all. Talking about the impact of specific things said/done on me emotionally and my life, talking about the things said/done that massively privileged me and improved my life. We’re so close now. 🥺He also started to show me respect since I began being fully truthful with him about my feelings and goals and personal beliefs even if they oppose his own instead of letting him walk all over me like I was still the scared little girl. Learning how to set and maintain reasonable interpersonal boundaries that I was never taught as a minor, clarifying on what values I want to stride towards with my daily actions, and verbally processing current struggles then immediately listing at least a few of the best possible solutions to each struggle (google = bff) specifically while working with mental health professionals has given me my voice and agency back. This must be what Ariel felt after finally being heard when her voice came back to her.
From 0 to 9 I grew up in a wonderful, loving environment. Just as I turned nine, my mom died in a stupid automobile accident, caused by a bus driver that went through a red light. Suddenly, my life flipped around in absolute terms; my farther went bezerk, married a woman that was the exact opposite of my mom, and my life became a nightmare. What kept me from falling appart was the massive amount of love I received from my mother, a love that helped me survive this nightmare, and a sense I had, which I don't know where it came from, that I should live my life to make her proud of her only child, and this, miraculously, gave me strength to go on, and to survive. Now, looking back, I believe she would be very proud of her kid, but at the same time, I realize what a horrible experience I went through. This, by the way, took place 50 years ago.
I don't know if you believe in ghosts or angels or any of the sort. But if you did, maybe your mother stayed as a ghost or angel to help give you the strength to persevere despite losing her. I am sorry for your loss, though. It's horrible to lose a loving parent at so young an age! 🤗
In most respects I had a privileged upbringing. Nice environment, good schools etc. but at the age of four, after a minor misdemeanour, I remember saying to my mother, “you don’t love me do you?” She replied that I made it difficult. In my 70s, that still hurts. I don’t remember being praised for anything, only criticised. I was bullied at school, but got no support. I was always a disappointment. My appearance, “let’s face it, you’re not the pretty, feminine type”. My lack of academic achievements…..When I qualified as a nurse, it wasn’t at a high enough level……and so on. I know it’s nothing compared to what others have endured, but it has impacted on my entire life. As a parent myself I’m by no means perfect, but happily, my children are well balanced, caring people, with beautiful children of their own. There is so much more I could say, but I feel guilty for being critical. Parenthood doesn’t always come easily to some people. One hurtful word can be carried with you for life. Despite this, or maybe because of it, I have been told it is the reason I am empathetic, hate injustice, and have empathy for the oppressed.
So true how a mothers remarks to her child leave indelable marks for decades. Pretty hard unthink these remarks. My Mom had BDP and though she sometimes told me how much she loved me, she'd also get drunk and go on these emotional jags, saying exactly what she really thought. One time during a crying jag she mentioned she wished she'd never had me. Later she just denied it. It sucks. Sounds like you've done very well with your children and grandchildren.
It Does matter, because it lives in us for the rest of our lives. Well done you for not passing it on to your children, just love them and their children - and yourSelf! Hahaha am I talking to mySelf??!! 😊
I don't understand my trauma. I was very privileged, in fact I was given so much that I became spoiled. But I was able to tell my parents I loved them. Well, until... 7yo. A huge accident happened, which resulted in the death of my pet bird, whom I was closest to... (it was my fault, not my parents). I don't know if that event changed me, but I started to become irritable, angry, even violent.. especially towards my family. Flash forward 7 yrs (yes, I still am very young).. and well, not much has changed. I'm still irritable, I'm no longer violent though I have bad thoughts, my parents were not necessarily bad but.. I treat them horribly. Why?... I dont know
; do you relate? do you need to vent? are you ok-? ; im sorry if im invasive, its just my instincts acting up after a year of having a traumatized bestie that i have to check up on
@@Psych2go I've been at all 5 in the past few months, but being aware is already a huge step into healing and learning to cope with it! Thank you for the great video (◍•ᴗ•◍)
Abandonment issues and feeling worthless is something I struggle with every day. As an adopted child who had to watch their parents go through a divorced, I grew up so desperate for love and attention. I yearned for close friendships and relationships because I needed to feel wanted and seen. I became a sort of people pleaser and allowed toxic people into my circle. It really messed me up and destroyed my self image. Watching this struck something deep inside me. No idea what it is but I realize that the trauma I felt growing up was real. I am in a better place and I can finally say I am not alone anymore. This story serves as a kind reminder: You are not alone and even on your own, you are stronger than you realize.
I've always believed that I didn't have a traumatic childhood because my parents were so good to me, and still are. Relating to a few signs, and realizing myself about my certain behaviours towards things made me come to terms that despite my parents being good to me all my life, they're not perfect. Even now at 17, I hug stuffed animals for support and comfort. My mom has made me fear sharing my opinions or simply talking back about what she's said because it'd get me in trouble. She's done this quite often to where I'm hesitant to share my opinions/speak up about certain things. Around my teenage years, I've asked her if I could share my opinions or make comments in a groupchat I'm in, and she's told me not to if it'll get a negative reaction out of people (even if it's nothing bad). She's made me fear and avoid a lot of simple things because I could get hurt if I did it. When my parents fight, I've intervened a few times and got yelled at, which is why I hate fighting and try to stop it whenever possible. I flinch at yelling and angry behaviour/body language because of my dad (not that it was because of me or anything.)
Believe me, I understand what you mean ^^U my parents are good people, theh even aknowledge some of their mistakes regarding my childhood and my siblings'; and now are trying to be better. But still. The damage is done. I struggle with some things that you mentioned (fear of speaking up, avoiding fights)and with some things the video mentioned. Every time there is some kind of fight or discussion (the type that is not agressive but the tone can be ibterpreted as such) near me my first instinct is to hide and avoid it completely. Im always nervous when a friend or relative is quiet in my presence, or doesnt chat to me for a while, because I think they are upset with me. And it took me years to realize it's because whenever my mom was angry at me, she would give me the cold shoulder, instead of telling straight what I did wrong. I hope you are in a better place mentally and emotionally now, and have a better relationship with your parents! :)
Just a note: at 17, you are stil a teenager, and you've got many more years of brain development to go. Continue to try and be open and talk with your parents. Find a counselor or teacher at school you can talk to, but don't intervene when parents fights- because you most likely are missing information and can make issues worse. You parents need to work out their own issues with each other. Adults fight- no matter how well adjusted they are - and it will be up to them to determine how they will go about dealing with their stuff. Best of luck
Im glad you mentioned this because I’ve been having the same struggle, but recently, events opened my eyes to see that my mom wasn’t as… supportive or kind that I always assumed she was. I’m 28 now, so it took a long while to see this. I don’t think everything she did was intentional, but sometimes we don’t realize the red flags because that’s our normal.
Hearing stories online about people with terrible parents makes me realize how lucky I am with my parents, but I also understand that my parents aren't perfect either. Nobody's perfect, after all. That said, I think part of my own issues stem from me as opposed to how my parents were towards me. I'm not sure why there are times where I don't want their help even though they're willing to help me and my siblings out despite the fact that accepting their help will probably make it easier for me to deal with whatever problem I have at the time. 😢 Watching these videos is making me realize that maybe I do need to seek some professional mental health help, but I don't know if I can afford it, what with living in California... and I'm also worried that I might just go "Oh, I'm fine" if I do seek professional help and not actually get the help I would need because of my own responses making it difficult to find the underlying issue and thus get to a solution... 😢 Mental health really is complicated, huh?
*I also had a traumatic childhood, I still suffer PTSD whenever someone raises their voice at me or starts critizing me, thankfully I'm now taking therapy and I'm slowly healing from this but it's been difficult* EDIT: thanks y'all for your wishes, even though we're random strangers online, I appreciate these comments. I hope y'all are also doing well and healing if you had a traumatic childhood
I had a traumatic childhood mainly due to bullies at school. I was a very odd child compared to other kids, I was quiet, constantly cried, and when I felt overwhelmed I had meltdowns in classrooms, I felt misunderstood. I had very supportive parents but having to deal with bullies at school scarred me, I was constantly harassed by other kids and was basically the punching bag of bullies because I think I was an easy target for them to make fun of. It wasn't until a few years ago when my nephew was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD that I came to realize that many of the behaviors that I displayed during my childhood (and still display to this day, however I mask a lot of these) are probably due to the fact that I'm on the autism spectrum myself but I'm undiagnosed. I'm 28 years old now, and I'm not sure if it's worth it to pursue a diagnosis at this point of my life. I feel like it would validate and explain a lot of things in my life and would take this huge pressure off my chest.
It's definitely worth it to pursue a diagnosis. Doesn't matter whether you're 8, 28 or 78. A diagnosis would help you understand yourself better and maybe give you answers to questions you've had for years. I'd say you owe it to yourself to look into it if you haven't already.
If you are not going to seek help for it, then stop whining about it. At this point it is your choice to live like this, embrace it and move on. As far as childhood bullying, it made you the person you are today, hopefully a person who cares about others, who steps up when confronted with injustice, who will go out of their way to comfort a child in need.
I always felt like something wasn’t right but I grew up very sheltered so I didn’t really know what was “normal”. When I would go to friends houses, and then asked my parents why they were calmer and kinder, I was told they were soft and stupid and that my family was more of the average. I had no idea my family was toxic until I went to college and spoke to friends about it. I was surprised to see them look so worried and tell me that the way I grew up is far from normal. Getting beat and screamed at for forgetting a chore or voicing an opinion on something, loosing belongings for struggling in school, being allowed zero privacy and being in complete terror when making a mistake, fearful of the punishment I received, are all not normal. And that’s been a big pill to swallow. Especially because I still have to live with them. I’m in therapy and attempting to work through it. Thank you all for putting out this video tho, if I saw this years ago I might have known and learned that the suffering I experienced wasn’t normal and not something I should have ever gone through
No one should have to go through what you and I have been through. I know it hurts, when you feel like you don't belong or your not the perfect child. We cry tears only God sees, so maybe we can let Him heal both of us from being hurt by people. Let Love Grow ❤
My dad was a physical/mental abuser to me and a mental abuser to my sisters. It took getting professional therapy to actually forgive him and move on. Even after therapy it took years afterwards to quit bad habits in my behavior before I am where I am today. I just wish both of my sisters would reach out and get the mental help they need.
Why everyone here is whining about how bad their dad is? My dad was even worse He was ripping my skin by his white thick belt almost every day I still love him He taught me how to be a man
@@vkat2703 I know you think it’s normal and trust me I was you I really thought it was normal no matter what people told me but it’s NOT what your going through is just plain terrible it’s not normal but that shouldn’t make you feel bad because even thought you went through what you did you can come back STRONGER please get help any way you can. And remember only YOU know what YOUR going through so don’t let ANYONE tell you different
Healing involves discomfort but so does refusing to heal. And over time refusing to heal is more painful.... It's not your fault that it happened. You're worthy of everything good. You're worth protecting. You're beautiful and loved. You're not alone, I'm with you What happened to you, isn't your fault.. It's okay to feel what you're feeling rn. Ik you'll heal soon, and to heal you need to smile 🦋 Have you smiled today?, A true genuine smile that comes after seeing a baby, a puppy? I wish I could give you a warm hug, you're so precious to me. sometimes it hurts too much..... But let's choose to heal together. Ik we'll make it out together, sweetheart Just hold on to me 🤍 You'll experience something beautiful today 🦋
Well, the truth is that not all childhood traumas happened and were experienced at home. Sometimes they're at school or somewhere else. For example, my childhood trauma and PTSD started from an incident in school when I was extremely young. I developed Social Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and maybe even Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This type of childhood trauma is just as bad and as scarring as any trauma. I am still like this and it's almost been 10 years. I am still young, and scared of being judged, so I do nothing to get any help. I sulk and sink into my anxiety and depressive thoughts. Recovery is around the corner though. I'm hopeful. But when things go dark, I can't help but panic. I want out. I have experienced a valid traumatic event, and trauma is different for everyone anyways. Phobias and natural fears have also generated in my brain. Sure. My trauma isn't based upon guilt or things of that nature, but instead it's built upon shame, humiliation, judgement, and embarrassment. It hurts. And if you went through something like this, you're valid and your trauma is real trauma. You know yourself better than anyone and you know how you feel, even if it has no explanation. This is the end, sorry if I wasted your time with this. But all I have to say as a conclusion is that childhood trauma is not always the parents' fault and doesn't always take place in a home.
Some of my earliest childhood memories are of teachers screaming in my face. Can't remember anything as to what it was about either. Another one hit me in front of everyone for "back-chatting" when I tried to explain that a dirty tissue on the floor hadn't been my doing but that I'd take care of it anyway. I had a phobia of germs as achild and not being able to leave the class to wash my hands afterwards was a nightmare for me. As I bent to pick it up she wacked me with a ruler.
I always thought it was normal for parents to hit their children. When I started high school my friends told me otherwise. Over the years I have come to realize that the way my parents disciplined me and my siblings was physically and emotionally abusive. One time my mum punched me in the face right before school. I was 14. I'll never forget it. I have pretty much all of the issues listed in this video 😥
@@CanadianMonarchist That's how my dad was; he would grab my arm, twist it around, and slap my bum so hard & often it hurt; I remember he slapped my kid sister on her bum non-stop during dinner because she didn't want to eat her sweet potatoes (I lost count after the 5th slap). My mom never intervened. My dad kept slapping me on my bum as hard and frequently as possible until I was 16 years old, even for things I didn't do. He never slapped me again after that. I don't know why; maybe he noticed that I wasn't a little kid anymore, that I was turning into a young woman; maybe my mom said something to him, who knows?
My siblings and I joke about our "spicy memories" all the time, but we all know that we're messed up in one way or another even if we had an okay childhood. We (my young adult siblings, myself and our mom) have been away from a volitile situation for close to three years now, and even now in my 30s I'm still struggling with managing how I react to things emotionally. Being the eldest child meant I was much more exposed to that for a longer period, and it's difficult to even find joy on some days.
You are reminding me of my own family. Js recently, we all js sat together and also joked about our 'spicy memories'. I'm the youngest, so i was the least exposed to it, but i'm prolly also messed up somehow. Being war survivors prolly didn't help, and altho i never took the effects it could have had on me seriously since i was too young to remember anything when we left, i have recently been considering how even babies can get traumatised, which would include me- But even with that, it's hard to accept the possibility that i may be traumatised when i see myself as having an okay childhood; i mean like come on, what was so bad about my childhood?
I’m currently in therapy and this is one of the things I’m working on coping with. It’s honestly sad that parents like this tend to not actually be fully aware that they are the problem because in most cases they are materialistically and physically providing for their child(ren), but won’t accept/acknowledge that they are mentally and emotionally destroying their child(ren) and setting the future relationships their kid(s) have with others up for failure😕.
My lady had had a traumatic childhood. I used to take care of her and did all the mentioned ideas. Still she left..may be she had healed or didn't required my comfort or caress. May she be safe and sound wherever she be.. Sending her tons of love.
Sadly people have to be willing to change themselves and we can't heal them. I would give a great deal to take away the impact of trauma from my partner. The most I can do is make a safe "now" and help him use strategies he's learned when things are tough. I hope you can find peace
@@helengibbs3153 You're correct.People should harden their nerve and bone to make themselves stand on their legs. We can only support them as a creeper or a climber.Rest all in their hands. Glad that you're helping your man. Do take care of his emotional needs. May Almighty keep both of you safe and sound.
Just read through all the comments and found several I could have written...........quite helpful to read others were listening to the same B.S. I was. will be 80 in April and remember it all too vividly. It never goes away. If you have children be kind and loving. These things don't cost money and can mean so much to a child.
My childhood wasn't the best. My mother couldn't take care of me, my father was in prison, so i was adopted when i was just 3 months old. I can't hate my parents for it, cause why run around with hate in your heart. I can stand up to myself, which i do a lot, even if i don't always do so
I am in my 60's and I suffered as a child with dysfunctional parents. I learned a great tip from Marissa Peer to love the child that was neglected. i learned to visualise that child and hold it in my arms and give it the love and care the child needed. She helped me a lot to give unconditional love to that child, being the adult that I am now. And yes it works.Thank you for all of your kind advice to all who may suffer in this way.
Thank you for this video. I have recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder along with mild adhd. They told me it was most likely from trauma. These videos have helped me in my mental health journey and have changed my life for the better. Sincerely, thank you so so much.
I know I had a traumatic childhood. My father died when I was 7 and my mother was somewhat emotionally abusive. My "brother" and I were both adopted at a young age (no blood relation) and were never close. There was no outward show of love or affection and there was an abundance of condemnation, whether it was over grades in school or performance in sports, or just about anything in between. Yes, there was a lot of "risky behavior" in my younger years. I basically amazed myself for living through the majority of them. But I came to realize exactly how I coped with it all. I considered the source, realized how to control those things I could control and overlook those things I had no control over, and came to the realization that I was not the problem, it was those around me. My biggest regret is, since I was raised in a somewhat loveless environment and affection was never shown, that has caused me to be somewhat lacking in expressing love and affection...especially towards my wife and son. Thankfully, they got to see first hand at the kind of "family" I was raised in and understand why I am the way I am. BTW, I am 72 and have been married for 42+ yrs. I have a son in his 40's and both he and my wife know how I feel towards them.
I used to have panic attacks every single and my parents just... Ignored it usually. My sister would say "Why do you ruin everything for us? Just get over it"
Very well said! Many people do not realize that childhood trauma extends itself well into adulthood even though the adult rarely recognizes they even have a mental disorder / problem. Once the person reaches their late 20s or early 30s, if the mental disorder is not addressed by a professional mental health practitioner the disorder has a very strong possibility of becoming ingrained into the person's personality permanently (thus becoming classed and identified as personality disorder). This psychological information should be a standard part of all general studies university programs....(IMHO)!
I didn't realize how neglectful and abusive my parents were until I managed to make friends and met their, more healthy parents. My mother used to refer to me as "her RRSP". I certainly experienced a lot of these growing up, and still do. Fortunately I've traded abusing pain medication in for frequent weed use - and in that, it's been a very conscious journey as well finding strains and effects that work best for handling my specific symptoms. Going low contact with my parents and keeping my life secret from them except for small tidbits I explicitly choose to share has kept me feeling safe and actually able to make my own decisions. I didn't realize just how much I would fall back into my absued shell when I kept even moderate contact with my parents. They had to fully show me they didn't respect me and I had to accept and grieve that loss of this "parents I wish I had" image to finally be able to start really healing and becoming genuinely me. If you're ever wondering, no. You don't owe your parents anything. Go be your own person. That's why you're here.
I know that I was raised in an extremely unhealthy environment. Fortunately when I turned 18 I sought mental health care. Put it all behind me. Raised 4 boys to be strong, heathy well adjusted young men. Thanks mom, could not have done it without you. You made one BIG mistake, you brought me to church.
@@extra-lives It did for me. You have to find an LCSW that's right for you. Having a RUclips channel such as this one would have been extremely helpful when I was growing up! I'm 61. Back then I had to read physic books and take courses in physiology. This channel is awesome in helping me, I never knew the words for all the dysfunctional ppl. It also helped that I went to church. Today I do not and will never believe in organized religion because my mother and her family were devout Roman Catholic, at least one day a week. But it gave me a head start that I wouldn't have today. I do believe in a higher power, my faith has grown tenfold since I left the church.
Though I thought I had a pretty decent childhood, I was raised by my mom in the Jehovah Witnesses religion (cult) and it was an extremely unhealthy environment to grow up in. My dad never intervened in the way I was raised either, because my mom was adamant that was how I would be brought up with strong Christian morals. Fortunately I left as an adult and found much more happiness in life outside that toxic environment. I have one child and she is being raised without organized religion, and she is very much happier and more well adjusted than I was as a kid.
Never being good enough or can't do anything right taught in childhood, has a core belief of shame that impacts the adult their entire life. One whose experienced repeated trauma, has built monumental defences or walls. The child did this to survive being that no healthy adult s were their for them. It's unfortunate for anyone who had to live this kind of life as a child. They will experience difficulties in their intimate and vocational relationships. Therapy unfortunately can hardly put a bandaid on this lost soul since this type of early programming is extremely detrimental on the individual.
I don’t remember a whole lot of my childhood honestly, but I know neglect was a big issue but it wasn’t necessarily my mom’s fault. She was a single mom and had to work, I understand that. I was left with my grandpa a lot, but he didn’t really do anything with me. I was also very sheltered…my mom and stepdad had BAD anxiety but refused to get therapy because “therapy is for crazy people” so they controlled me and basically never let me out of their sight unless it was for school (this continued through high school and even as a young adult). Also the drinking…binge drinking was a thing but they said it was fine because it was only beer. But yknow…20 beers in the span of an hour or so isn’t fine. And doing it every night isn’t fine. My favorite thing was telling my DARE teacher in the middle of class about my stepdad’s drinking problem and absolutely nothing being done about it. I remember there was a silence and she was like “he’s not that much fun to be around when he does that, is he?” I shook my head and she went on with the lesson. Nothing else happened.
@@serenitysmith352 Wait a minute, what did your father do to you? This was hard to read and I hope that you take some English composition classes while in college. However, I assume that your father beat you? What did he use? All of the bruises were on your back so did he use his fist? My last name is Smith but I am married so I use it as my middle name, it is a great name. My grandfather Smith was from Scotland. GOD bless you and I hope that you get help if you are suffering from cPTSD which is common with abused children and usually hits you in your late 30s and early 40s. It is a shame what some parents will do to their precious children, they have serious anger problems, are alcoholics, have PTSD themselves, or are just mean, cruel, and sadistic. And in your case, you were rejected by your mother and then your father, that is a lot of pain that you have to cope with. GOD can help, you are loved by him because he is your real father, he created you and he just needs you to communicate with him. He will listen and he will help you to understand why you are a victim of such cruel parents and he will give you peace. You won't forget but you can forgive and you are doing the right thing by telling your story. Not many people are comfortable hearing such unpleasant things, and they will abandon you too but you can go on channels like this one and tell caring people about your past and the more you talk about it the faster you will heal. GOD Bless🙏🙏
100% yes I did have extremely traumatic early years of my life and this is destroying my life. I can’t be in a relationship I can’t trust absolutely anyone and I’m also having real hard time communicating with new people. This is all because my parents were super narcissistic woman and apathetic half man who was never there for me. Thanks for your videos ! You guys are helping me to ever so slowly get rid of all the trauma they’ve caused me!
My childhood was absolutely terrible, growing up in an environment where both parents hated each other and things got evolved as my family fought, along with police, court, CPS, EPS, and APS. Me and my siblings were physically, mentally, and emotionally abused, which caused us to have PTSD and suicidal thoughts. School wasn't very welcoming, as our lives caused us to not focus, and autisim, ADHD, OCD, and other mental disorders didn't help. One of my siblings committed suicide, and I almost did myself. This affected meso much.
Whenever people spoke how amazing their parents are I can never relate. I grew up with relatives and my mother was emotionally unavailable and she never cared. I grew up to be very independent and a single mom of 2 and my relationship with my children is very important to me more than anything in the world
At 3:06 I’m so happy that you included Catra in the drawing, she is one of those characters that fit so well with the trauma and mental health problems that are shown in the video. (Just wanted to say that this video was great! I learned more about myself and other things, so thank you.)
It was such a pleasant surprise to see Catra. I could hear her asking Shadow Weaver "Why did you treat me the way you did? Why was I never good enough for you?"
This video honestly hit differently for me at the moment. I'm kind of going through a realization that I may have been traumatized. This video has made me realise that I have many of the symptoms of trauma, even if I still do love my parents. They have improved a lot but I'm still afraid of them because of hoe they yelled at me or 'emotionally cornered' me. Whatever I'd say when they asked if I was upset would get me yelled at, and ithas possibly left scars. It's a weird feeling for me because, again, they have been improving and I do still love them. They have done a lot of good for me and I cannot thank them enough. However, I still feel like some of the ways they used to react caused trauma for me. I'm sorry if this feels like I'm trauma dumping, but I just figured I'd point this out for myself. If anyone has any advice for me, I'd be open as I don't really know what to do at the moment. I'm slowly making my way up though😅 Thank you, Psych2Go, for being so helpful for people like me! People who may not realise that they've had trauma. People who are in denial.
@SaltyShaman All the time? No, that's not normal at all- Happens a lot, sadly, and I'm sorry you had to go through that :( It's a complicated topic so I'm not gonna give advice or say anything certain without knowing the context, but I do know now that a parent constantly yelling at their kids isn't normal-
@@JesusJavaJuli Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry that happened to you, that sounds awful! No, that was never your fault in any possible way! You were the victim and she had issues, especially dragging you out of the bed by your hair like that! That is 100% abuse, that should have never happened! I seriously hope you’re doing better, and that you feel safe and secure away from that living space
Most boxes ticked. Still anxious socially at 75 as told constantly from the age of five that I was just like the hated mother in law and no-one would ever like me. This was part of a daily rant which included threats to be put in a children’s home and being constantly told I was unwanted. I don’t think i had even misbehaved to start this tirade off because I was frightened of her, she was just taking her frustrations out on me. She died at 96 and I did not feel any sense of loss.
Wow, I was told the same thing. A couple of times I did a minor kid think, once wiggle a park bench and annoyed my mother. She told me to stop. Being about eight I forgot and made it wiggle again, parents explode and we had to leave and get in the car. They kept talking about putting me 'in a home' because I couldn't be good. Wow! I never felt secure and like I had a real home. It's like they killed my inner feeling for them over the years. I am 79 and still feel all the pain.
2:01 as someone with servere childhood trauma it was actually caused by old friends and current friends. I am an ADHD person who has been struggling for a while. I cry a lot, and get bullied. It severely damaged my own health and I never spoke of how I actually felt. I feel like this video helped me understand that sharing feelings is a good thing.
Because they seem to think that because we didn't hear them/ didn't process what they said, that we're ignoring them on purpose, or trying to provoke them.
My form of trauma was mostly adults bullying me at a much younger age. At the time they probably thought that it was "amusing" or "just light teasing" and actually i used to look at it that way too until of course later in life, i started to realize that it was a major issue for me because even to this day i really struggle with daily tasks in life. Holding onto those traumatic experiences isn't the most healthy thing to do and yet i can't help but do exactly that. I still to this day think of it. In my mind those bad memories are as clear as day. It's like i can't even forget about it. I have other trauma as well which to this day i still haven't come to terms with. It's not as easy as to just "get over it". Those things aren't really that easy to move on from. I wish it was, honestly. Because at the end of the day all i want is to live my life without having those negative things in my life. I hate that to this day i still hold onto those negative memories. It's not like they're doing me any good.
Confrontation I still struggle with to this day(I'm 26). My dad is an intimidating person and I felt like at times my voice or opinion didn't matter. (I feel he is also bipolar, but not diagnosed. My dads side of the family has a history of bipolar. I have it too but it's only mild and treated with medicine). I even struggle with them just being emotionally unattached to me at random points, hence why I find comfort to this day with stuffed animals, anime and video games. It was my happy place and still is when I need a temporary escape from life. Both my parents have a crap past of physical/emotional abuse, abandonment and just horrible parents period. They both have unaddressed trauma and that trauma has affected me and my siblings. I feel they aren't bad people per say, nor am I condoning their behavior, but I just wish they could have gotten help before having kids so that we didn't experience such things...
I think 3 and 4 are mostly me, but im mostly gonna talk about the 4th aspect. I love my Mom very very much and i know she does too, but sometimes I fear to talk out things with her, and i think its because she is used to be a little too scary when she's pissed off. Another example is when she often criticized me for the way i act, do things, or even talk, wich is like my main problem (?) cause she actively reminded me about it and said she corrected me about the way i sound while speaking since i was like 8 or something. By the time i felt very like... worthless, like everything i did was bad and it would not matter if i was gone or something idk. Now listen, I know (and she said it) that she does this for my own good to not be bullied at school, wich i found a bit weird since no one at school pointed out that i talk or sound bad, cause i am kinda social there, more than house even.
*FRIENDLY REMINDER* | The value of life can be seen in the fact that it ends. Everyone should do all he or she can to make it meaningful and rewarding.
It wasn't until the first time I stayed over at a friends house that I realized parents aren't normally telling their kids they're stupid idiots who can't do anything right, they didn't beat them with whatever object was near them and ACTUALLY went to their sporting events... there was no sharing of feelings in our house or feeling of loving home it was only "I wish I'd never had you!". Of course all that changed when her angel my sister was too "busy" to do her in home hopsice due to pancreatic cancer so me being the only single and childless sibling got stuck with it... for the last 3 years nearly everyday I wish I had told her how much I hated her and wish just once growing up she would have acted like all my friends mothers... but once again I put someone else's feelings above mine so as to not start a conflict. To this day I'm pissed at myself that I didn't say anything to her, because of it all my relationships have failed due to fear of being hurt and unable to trust anyone. So now I just keep to myself, yet again doing in home hospice for another family member and rarely go out but for arrends and occassional meet up with the guys... my room is safer and the rest of the world isn't missing me...
A lot of my memories of when I was a little child started to come up recently. So now I know where all my trauma comes from. I had 5 siblings and both biological parents. Sounds great, right? Well, that would've been the case, but none of them liked spending time with me and I would constantly be disregarded which turned me into who I am today. I found friends who support me with anything I do and yet I still feel like there's an ulterior motive even though logically I know that's not the case. Watching these videos have always helped me since I found this channel. So I thank Psych2Go for helping me find myself and who I truly am
People who have childish behavior in my opinion is also caused from being forced to grow up to fast, trauma is something is more of something that adults could handle better and it’s hard to handle it as a kid as having it during development will definitely have a harder effect compared to if you had healthy development and I’m not an adult but I’m definitely childish, everyone’s just growing up and it’s hard to keep up, I wish I could have stepped down and stayed at the child stage but now it’s hard to step up when I’m supposed to
I’m an adult now. I was raised with so much abuse. Point one..having a stuffed animal to cuddle into was what I did. I sure had insecurity so much. Low self esteem was there. Had anorexia until I was 17 or 19. I did some risky behaviours because of the amount and frequency of it. Was from both siblings and parent. Pissed me right off. Life was a rocky journey until I reached 39. By the time I turned 40 I got rid of almost every single nasty and fake as people. Bar a few Facebook friends. At this stage I’m ready to get rid of the last two I’m praying for it to happen. Life at my age is looking happy and promising. Travel is on the cards. Moving house is a consideration that’s for sure. I’m done with arzeholes. Life is so beautiful when you don’t have people dragging you down. Eat, love, sleep, crap, pee, fart, laugh, shower and drink to be merry. Please appreciate all your true blessings you do have. I do it. I’m more stronger than I believe I was. Triumph over pleasing mongrels any day 😎🎉💜
3:05 I’m sorry, but I’m just obsessed with how you added Catra here. She is the perfect character to describe this and it was just such a good decision. Psych2go u just made my day :3
What I find interesting about this video is that my childhood traumatic experiences were somewhat mild to moderate, and not terrible like in the movies, and this video informed me that I do have symptoms to this day (at age 60) but my symptoms, like my experiences are mild to moderate. Real life is rarely black and white. It is full of many shades of gray. This video taught me that my bitterness about those experiences I had are probably justified but at the same time I feel very grateful that those experiences and resulting symptoms were not worse. After many years I have slowly overcome most of the worst symptoms but still need to work on it. My heart goes out to people with very severe experiences and resulting symptoms but I would say to them that they should seek help and support and keep fighting to heal yourself as much as you can. It's worth it.
I had a traumatic childhood since I can remember, with the earliest incident that I recall being raped at 8yrs old, following this losing my dad to a fatal stroke when I was 9. Then things kinda spiraled downward from there. Many other situations after that some I can't remember (or don't want to so maybe my mind suppressed the memories), but just one thing after the other.
I’m so sorry love. I hope you have been able to heal. My heart breaks for you. Like a Phoenix you rose from the ashes and if no one has told you, I’m proud of you for keeping on going.
Thank You all for the sweet and kind comments.. I admit, typing this post was kinda hard, but also lightened up my heart a little to get it off my chest. I appreciate it.. 🙂 Everybody have a good weekend and safe Memorial Day!
@Mishti Singh Unfortunately the ones that have inflicted harm upon me have not as of the present been brought to justice. Unless they have and I don't know about it.. but I heard that if they don't get served by the law, God and Karma will eventually have the day to set them straight.
Number 4 hit. 😢 I’m so afraid of not being good enough its hard to even try sometimes. To do anything new or something I’ve done a hundred times, still just feels like I’m a failure at it. I can’t even pick up a pencil to draw anymore. I’ve put so much pressure on myself that I’m just scared to try.
I have childhood trauma and I tend to accidentally age regression without realizing it. I didn't know that I did it and thought I was just immature for acting like a child when im an adult.
Can relate. I was wondering why I act like a little kid when I’m also an adult. I was just like, why am I doing this? Other adults don’t act like this? It’s like my mind wants to relive the childhood that failed when I was actually a child Won’t stop me from cuddling my hundreds of stuffies
I can also relate as I have wondered about myself why I act like a little kid. My husband and I both had traumatic childhood and we'll discuss sometimes why we still both act like little kids
I wouldn't have thought of the cuddle doll as a sign of this. I mean, who doesn't need to cuddle? And there isn't always a willing human to cuddle with.
@Mango 🥭 I get bad tantrums too, since being old enough to speak and throw things.. I still have days where I'll be off on a tantrum for hours then I crash from all the exhaustion.
Never thought i'd find this in my recommendations, but it was quite relatable. As somebody who has to deal with strict parents and school all at once, the stress can be highly overwhelming. For anyone else suffering from any kind of neglect or worthlessness, remember: You're not alone.
Gonna be honest here... i was looking for cartoons that had characters that delt with trauma so i can get some inspiration for a fanfic i want to write and came across this video. I really expected you to talk about being hit, screamed at ect as a child... not this. I know i didn’t have the best childhood but this video made me realize a few things about myself and i might have trauma and thsts the reason im the way that i am today. Not really sure how to feel about that
Why do I relate with these videos so much... For the past 6 months I've been trying my best to gain peace of mind but it does not seems to work yet but I'll be trying till it does.
I always get yell at, and always apologize for smallest things, then they say "shut up stop apologizing for nothing"(, always make me sad, i think my parents do think that all i need is toys, clothes and food, i do want talk with them but im scared of telling them my problems.
All 5 of these signs I identify with and find myself feeling frequently. Not sure if teenage years count as childhood, but my teens were extremely traumatic for me. I got bullied at school and had a menopausal belligerent explosive mother who was hostile towards both of us, and not to mention she was an alcoholic. I made a mistake by living with the same mother after I got out of college since I couldn’t find a decent job with my degree. Moving back in with her after college was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. She became even more controlling and abusive the older I got. In my late 20s I’d had enough and in the heat of an argument, packed up a few essentials and spent the night with a friend. After that I spent a week in a mental hospital, and when I left I eventually was able to move in with a different friend until I found a place. When I finally did find a place, I still didn’t speak with my mother and didn’t do so for 8 months. I live alone now thanks to my dad stepping in and helping me out, but I still carry the trauma of my teens and mid-late 20s with me to this day.
I just found out by my therapist not so long ago that I had a neglectful childhood and growing up with my divorced parents even though I thought it was totally normal how I was raised and that is just how other families could be. Now looking it into my husband’s family and comparing mines, it all makes sense now how I ended up to be, (Depression and Anxiety). It made me to be a person with decision issues, loneliness, emptiness and in constant stress over everything.
I am part of a DID system, which that disorder comes from repetitive childhood trauma I don't remember most of my life, it's all repressed memories, but everything in how I act, think and feel, most of it is trauma responses Kinda recently, I've been allowed to remember more, I have really bad gut feelings about my old babysitter, and I don't remember any details, but my mind tells me a lot more happened growing up It's so difficult, I'm like a living trauma response, I'm not even the original host, I'm a split form of her It's so stressful, being forced into acting like an adult, having trauma that I don't know, realizing every little thing I do is some how a trauma response, and having a severe trauma disorder I just dont know anymore..
I've been looking through this comment section for the past 45 minuets and I've finally found a comment saying that their trauma came from something other than school or parents or a quick traumatic event, and I feel a whole lot better now that I know I'm not alone. I can relate to a lot of what u say, actually. I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming, which like DID, also comes from repetitive child hood trauma. I used to have this "friend", we'll call "H", who I hung out with quite a lot between the ages of 3-7ish. She was around 3 years older than me. She would belittle, threaten, completely ignore me when we're with her other friends, try to get me to do things I didn't want to (nothing s3xua|, at least from what I remember), and isolate me from my other friends by saying things like "I'm your only friend, right?" and "don't let anyone else know about this". She *hardcore* gaslighted me in many ways, even got me literally into thinking that I was seeing things that weren't there and not seeing things that supposedly were. All that gaslighting caused me to doubt myself in everyday life, I'm 16 now and am still effected by this. I did try to tell my mom once when it got to be too much (i believe i was 6ish) but it was extremely difficult since I wasn't able to explain exactly what H was doing to me. So my mom (bless her) couldn't really do much. I would have told her sm more and a lot sooner if H didn't say things like "don't tell anyone", "I never said that", "you are such a crybaby/ you're so sensitive", -- basically any other phrase u can think of that a narcissist would say to their victim in order to believe they're helpless/ not worthy of help. She also threatened and said things that made me genuinely scared of her to the point where the thought of her being mad at me scared me more than getting in trouble with my mom. I did finally manage to tell my mom the full truth years after I stopped hanging out with H and after I found out what manipulation was. Though I can remember around 10-15 specific instances of the abus3, I *know* there was *so* much more than that because I remember feeling uneasy, sometimes even terrified, almost every time, if not *every* *time* , we hung out. And that thing u said about "everything in how I act, think and feel..."... Over the past few years I've been noticing so many things about myself, and realizing that sm of my defective personality could have been caused by H. And, I mean, I *have* to have maladaptive daydreaming (it's very hard to get an official diagnosis for it since it has only been defined fairly recently and still very little people know about it), and H is the only thing I can really think of that could have caused it. If u read this whole thing, honestly thank u. Ik this was a very long rant but ur comment really made me feel less alone, so thank u. ❤
This was so succinct--it cut right to the core of these problems. Wow, did number three really resonate with me! I have been working hard on re-programming these distorted beliefs about myself, and trying to nurture my wounded inner child. When triggered, I literally feel like my eight year old self--so angry, yet impotent at the same time! Thank you for validating that a harsh and critical childhood is tough and formidable to overcome.
Personally for me, I experience 1 and 2 in different ways. For childish reactions, I don't stomp when I get angry, but I do get very childish in good experiences. I'll bounce around or act impulsively, often looking back and thinking how annoying I just have been. I revert to these childish emotions because I didn't receive enough good experiences when I was growing up, so anytime I finally get have something I really like I'll see it through my younger self. And for number 2, I don't try to pull away or mistrust those around me, but I ignore red flags and stay in unhealthy relationships because I don't realise it isn't healthy. Childhood trauma effects everyone differently, so these are more just different outcomes, but I still thinks it's important to talk about
I was diagnosed with bpd at 16. The issue is, they couldnt put it on my medical records until I was 18 because of the extremeness of the disorder. Those years with the knowledge but no support were the worst. Watching these videos make me feel a bit better about it all when I'm not on my mental health meds due to conflict with my physical health ones. Thank you for getting me through those years so I didn't feel so alone.
I also have BPD. It has made my life absolute hell especially considering I have to be very careful around my 8 year old son. I wouldn’t wish BPD on anyone 😓
I teared up seeing this 🥺 The other night I was having a late night conversation with someone and she was venting about her childhood and it indirectly reminded me of my own and it had me thinking that I probably have more childhood trauma than I know about since it happened when I was so young. With that said I definitely relate to a lot of these points in the video and is something that hopefully one day I will feel comfortable addressing that trauma with a therapist (whether it be with my current one or different) Thank you for this
I had a very traumatic childhood, and carried it all through my life. I developed anxiety and depression in my teens, which and went until I reached 67, and I had a complete breakdown, I was running away from it all mylife into my married life, my children are wonderful they always support me, my husband does he's to try to understand it. I got worse, I didn't want to take antidepressants but with the help of my Doctor and family I slowly recovered after 2 years of chronic depression and Axiety, to make a long story short, I was sent to councillor who wonderful and helped me through for over 2 months she talked me through everything I had been through from childhood to where I am now, happy contented, I know when to take care of myself and love myself. I am much stronger now. My counclier, Doctor and family saved my life.
As someone who does not like their parents at all, I do pretty much all of these, especially the risky behavior, like last year I had a habit of running away and going into dangerous areas at night, alone and unprotected, just to piss of cops and sometimes even see if someone would shoot me so that I wouldn't have to live with my parents. Now, it's reckless driving mainly, I have a habit of purposely treating the road like a race track
I definitely had those signs, I'm almost 27 now, a few years ago I started to think and ask myself questions about my memories, how I could've done better, what I struggle most with now is purely loneliness, that's my biggest issue, every night for the longest time I go home alone and to an empty bed, I'm aware that in this life we somewhat pick our poison, loneliness isn't the poison that I want.
@ The coobs: You could find a hobby and some(nice) people to share it with.I know it's difficult to meet good people and have nice friends!!! Sometimes is better to have PETS! They make great friends! Good luck!🐾💚😊
@@emerdigiorgio3594 You are in a good time in your life because of your age. Today, now , focus on you: your job and your life style. People will come into your life if you let them. Happiness is just around the corner - you just have to open your eyes and start the process.
Conflict avoidance was one for me. My father was a very loving man, but he had a harsh temper. In one church we grew up in, the elders were so strict, that my father was more prone to losing his cool to keep us in line and avoid controversy, which gave me a sense of moral stability, that was threatened when my father loosened up after we left. Then my father would clamp down even more so when I complained about the lack of strictness, or felt they were restraining me too much in certain areas. Low self worth: my father kept sending me conflicting messages. One moment, my father encouraged me to loosen up and we'd have fun, only to clamp down on me suddenly, because I violated another unwritten social rule due to my autism. Punishments included grounding (no computer or video games), so I began isolating myself, to avoid losing the computer and video game activity, and avoid getting in trouble again, since I got in trouble more often and was assigned more chores for being social. Also, other workplaces would cause me similar trouble, and I blamed it on my autism, or some moral deficiency, when in reality my supervisors were naive. Risky behavior: after my father died, I got drunk 3 weekends in a row. It only stopped because my mother had car troubles and I couldn't help her due to drunkenness, which upset her. A few years later, my sister upset me so much, that I experimented with weed 3 months straight. It was fun, but it did not solve my underlying problems. I ended up quitting weed and dealing with more of my problems head on, which has been helpful, albeit with some struggles.
Yeah, I'm definitely traumatized. Can you make a video on healthy coping strategies or a video on how to heal from being emotionally neglected as a child?
If you are committed to the work I’d suggest plant meds from Peru. The jungle med is more well known, but the cactus also works. Combine that with good therapy and it’s powerful
I always feel dumb and dramatic when i think things like these happened to me. I was raised in a household where we were told that people with depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, etc, were just being dramatic. My parents mainly just made me feel like nothing i did was ever good enough. They also didnt respect my thoughts or personal space. If i complained about feeling sad, i was told that life wasnt fair and to suck it up. My parents also were very loving. I feel like i did have a good childhood but with subtle toxic parenting that we all just ignored. This is why i feel like i should just keep my feelings to myself. I feel like my feelings arent valid.
I relate to all 5 of these signs. :o I never thought my childhood was that bad, but looking back it was pretty rough at times, and I was often scared. I still think I had a good childhood for the most part, but my parents were really harsh, mean and scary. I'm doing my absolute best to heal nowadays
I suffered a very bad early childhood which caused major problems later. I held a lot of things in & tried to repress what was going on inside while on the outside showing a different picture because that was what was expected of me. Society doesn't deal well with problems of this nature. They prefer to prescribe medication which doesn't solve the problem & only masks the symptoms. I've helped myself more than the support I've received from professionals or personal friends, family. I'm actually not bitter or resentful because I feel some of the events in my life wouldn't have come about otherwise... but given the option I would not have chosen this path....
Being around my biological mother and siblings was extremely stressful early on because they were so open about it when upset over something. The abusive narcissistic parent who raised me hadn't allowed anyone to ever express negative feelings except her, we all had to be submissive to her demands or suffer, but it's the exact opposite with my bio-mum, her husband, and the siblings of mine they raised together. The safety and comfort to express when something was wrong was something I didn't really get till adulthood, and it made me so overly self reliant that I would stay injured or reinjury myself a lot because even wounds were something I was expected to tend myself from an early age. It completely changed my perspective on 'loud' households, because as long as everyone is being heard and allowed to express themselves that can be healthier than those where no one is ever heard raising their volume, or it's just one person who gets to.
For the childish reactions or age regressions, i do that like when things are overwhelming or i get in a place where things get too much. I act like a toddler and sound like it. I called my friend for the first time and it was too overwhelming so i sounded like a little kid and they were weirded out..
All 5. Still trying to unlock the full memory of what my narcissistic mother did to me, during on particularly traumatizing event. I can almost recall momentary snippets, but cannot remember the event. I only remember the after effects: going from being an outgoing, friendly, confident, faithful and secure young girl to a shy, scared, introverted person who lied or said, "I don't know" all the time to keep from getting into trouble or dealing with answering questions. Using Bessel van der Kolk's teachings to help me.
Psych2Go is on a mission to raise awareness of mental health and destigmatize mental health issues. We hope that this video will encourage you to talk.
First
thats great :)
Nice
Your my favorite RUclipsr 😉
Ofc
I was shocked to see how comfortable my friends are with their parents until I realized mine were just too toxic to make me feel comfortable
Right? I'm just like: "wait, your parents are your friends?" Hell, even seeing how close they were to their siblings threw me off. I grew up in a family of 8 and somehow it's been the single most lonely experience I have yet to encounter. It's destroying me as a person
@@ScarletWFire I can understand, sometimes it's not a lot of people you need. you jut need a person who is actually there
Omg this is literally me. I started to realize how bad my parents were after seeing my frnds parents
Exactly. I'm going through anxiety now but I say the hell away from my 'dad'. I don't really see him as my dad anymore and that left me so confused but now I get it. I'm honestly uncomfortable and terrified of him 24/7. Like I hear his voice, his footsteps, him coming home from work, saying "I love you" to me, or calling me by my nickname I feel super terrified and disgusted
I visited a friends' house as a kid, when his dad came home I immediately panicked and hid. I couldn't understand how he felt comfortable around his dad. Even as I got older, I refused to believe it when I saw other families being happy and comfortable, I couldn't trust that it was real and thought it was a facade when out in public.
Didn't click until a few years ago.
Most parents don't think about their kids emotions. Feeds and clothe that's all they think kids need.
Thats true.
I have good parents that listen to me and all but they dont really spend time with me at home only outside which makes me rlly bored
That is true
Yeah....
all of you guys do not worry, this will not happen with our coming generation... Cause we will be parents at that time and we know very well what our child is suffering from specially at teenage! ;)
My childhood was horrific and has left me damaged. Trusting people is very difficult.
I'm in the same place.
Mine was also yes not being able to trust anyone sucks.
Same😢
You're not running this race alone, same for me aswell
Same dear there is a lot of damage 😢😢😥
Just a heads-up for others: Parents aren't always the cause. For me, it was my school environment that caused my trauma. My family was actually very supportive! But trauma is trauma; the cause may be different but we're just as valid!
That’s absolutely true. Kids spend 8-9 hours a day at school, and abuse they get there can damage them just as badly.
@@S.E.A.ProductionsAlt Please persevere. I hated middle school too. Prayer, therapy and music got me through. 🙏🏾
My middle school environment was the WORST! Your school environment can be trauma inducing. If it weren't for my faith or music, I would've been self destructive. It took going to a private school for less than two months for me to progress and enroll in high school.
School was hell for me. I got picked on from the time I started school till I quit. Then had to go home an get sexually abused an beaten. I’m defeated.
It's wild seeing how many other people have the faith/music combination to credit for helping them a lot. Nice to know I'm not at all alone 😊
My emotions got shut down with “I’ll give you something to cry about!” and “stop it, you’re gonna make yourself sick!” Mom was a closet alcoholic and covert narc. Dad was stern, scary, short fused and probably on the spectrum and had no idea what to do with emotional issues. Thanks for the validation and comfort that I get from your vids. You are doing important and life changing work.
Omg those are the exact things my mom used to/still say to me
I colliquilly use to call the non bios(adoptive parents!) Psycho and the poison dwarf! Takn the p helps with reducing psychotic rage n depression that us victims often get left with! Using humor to pmsl at em is theraputic trust! 👍
my mom would/always says "I'll give you something to cry about"
Ditto, often coupled with, “I’ll knock you into the middle of next week.”
my mom says that all the time.@@wrighty553
Whenever I would get upset about anything, I was told that I was too sensitive. I learned to clam up and not say anything. Repressing your emotions will hurt you for your entire life. I know. I’ve done it for most of mine. I’m typically a people pleaser though. I just want to be needed and loved. It stinks because occasionally I blow like a volcano.
I know how you feel.😢
i hate god for most
@@ReynaldoAbasr God doesn't hate you, Jesus loves you as does God the Father
0:48 /1/ childish reactions
1:39 /2/ insecure attachment
2:23 /3/ conflict avoidance
3:05 /4/ low-self worth
3:46 /5/ risky behaviour
You mb mean 1:39 in /2/?
5/5
@@mikhailmatveev369 oops ,yeah thank you!
Oh, I Knew That. That’s When I Realized I Should’ve Let My Father Drown Me. Damn, I’m Disappointed He Didn’t Do It Properly. This Is Hell.
Thanks
Number 2, 3 and 4 are literally me. My mom constantly criticized me, berated me and talked down to me if I voiced my opinion that wasn't in line with her. My mom discreted my feelings as overreacting and childish.
I understand she was a single mom who was going through a difficult time herself. But under no circumstances you take that anger out on anyone. Especially not a child.
I feel you.
♥️
That was my grandpa
I'm sorry 😞
I can sympathize. For me it was my dad, but my mom didn't stop him so she's just as much to blame. Constant arguments in the house between them, me being a mediator as a child, and my emotions being brushed off as daddy issues.
wow, hearing age regression being addressed so casually an directly is so nice. age regression is not in any way related to nsfw things (contrary to popular assumption), it's a trauma response and coping mechanism and is often involuntary. and indeed, sometimes it is NOT fun. thank you for mentioning it
nsfw???? what??????????? is this real
@@ilikegeorgiabutiveonlybeen6705 unfortunately lots of people assume age regression is equivalent or somehow remotely similar to k*nks or s3xu4l roleplay. it's gross :,)
@@rottedbug thank you
@tiredcritter Did people make the assumption because of the kinks where one person calls their partner(s) something like "mommy" or "daddy" and/or someone calling a loved one "baby"?
I would think that if it was a kink thing, then the ones in the relationship discussed it and consented to it. But I never would have considered age regression like what the video described as a kink.
@@airmanon7213 age regression is not a kink, but people assume it is, i guess because both communities often use childlike objects and may act childish. the similarities end there. they are completely different concepts with completely different purposes.
My childhood was horrible. I was sexually assaulted by my 16 year old neighbor when I was 6. I watched my dad beat my mom all the time. I also have anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder. I have an 8 year old son that I have to be careful around because anger is a huge side effect but he has a great life, he’s very comfortable and tells me things he won’t tell anyone else. He’s very loved and I’m happy he’s here. I need to not let my mental illnesses affect him
I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're doing well now. It must've been difficult for you.Your neighbour deserves to be in jail, how can someone think about that, for a child. You've gone through a lot.
You should get a therapy and do meditation.I really hope, everything gets better for you. And have faith in God, he'll help you for sure.
I wish for your happiness :)
@@hrichasrivastava7589 I’m so sorry about that. I was sexually harassed by my ex bf at 16 years old and because of that, I have anxiety and depression. I’m sorry for what you went through. Just know you’re not alone and I hope you’re doing well along with your son ❤❤
The best revenge is having a happy life, someone said. I am so sorry to read you went through such terrible experiences. You can be successful and change that pattern of what others did to you by getting counseling, going to church & learning how very much God loves you & being all you deserve. It will also make a great impression on your son. God bless you & hope all the best for you.
@@sammie4695 thank you 🖤
@@artsy_rosebud I'm Sorry, but you've tagged the wrong person 😅
I've been going to therapy for about 7 months now and have been diagnosed with compounded complex trauma. It's incredible to me how much of my childhood i thought was normal until I got older and noticed my friends weren't scared of their parents. They didn't get screamed at or hit anytime they challenged, questioned anything, or voiced their own thoughts on something. Going to a friend's house where they have a safe environment is a real eye opener.
Your comment resonated with me. When I was about 10, I had the (rare) chance to discover that normal fathers laugh and joke and interact with their children. Such shocks are useful, though - the more you analyse what is unconventional, the sooner you stop blaming yourself for the abnormalities. Very best wishes.
Yeah I find myself out and about every single day originally I just thought that's how I was but apparently learning more information as I went along and more definitions and things it's been rough and it's been way more rough than I thought it was. I was aware of several parts of my situation for a long time but I thought there must be a damn good reason for it live and learn sigh. now comes the finding out what I need to know getting out and rebuilding stage. And yes casually observing what's going on around you while you're out can even open the eyes of a blind man. I've got to ask myself a lot of questions now not the least of which is will I ever find the answers I need? From a young age I was always into retro and older stuff radio shows TV shows electronics games and music. I wonder if that's part of it and I wonder how harmful it is to continue because I've kind of shaped my life that way at this point.
@@theatomicpunkkid Therapy is helpful at finding answers, but l have found that making the best of the present is even better. All your retro interests sound splendid - but if they remind you of uncomfortable times, there is a world of other stuff you could explore. RUclips alone is full of marvels!
@@rosemaryallen2128 no they don't really remind me of uncomfortable times in fact they were some of the best times I had with my friends outside this main mess. I left a comment up top that basically sums up where I am now and I'm pretty sure it's true.
That happened with me too.
I knew i had but damn… checked all the boxes. I hate it when other people just say things like, “you can’t be ‘traumatized’ it wasn’t that bad” coming from a person whose parents cared. The amount of times I was told to shut up when talking or ignored completely. I as a young child noticed that my mother was kind and loving when guests were over so I would start to hug and talk to her during those moments.
I am very old now, 75. After being a very busy adult, working and raising children, I had time to think about my childhood and its possible effects on me, because I still have numerous behaviors as listed in this video. I was the youngest child;I was like a ghost child. Fed and clothed, never complimented, never told I was loved. My siblings all had something special they offered my parents. My sister became a nun, and my brothers simply had to be males. I was very attached to my parents, but I realize the touching and affection was from me to them, not the other way around. Very difficult to stand up for myself, and always afraid I am going to make someone mad at me. I believe this all has led me to over eat. It's my way of doing something nice for myself, as horrible as it seems to say that. That is my risky behavior, which I am having a hard time stopping.
WHO WOULD YOU RATHER BE? WHAT IS YOUR POSITIVE PICTURE OF YOURSELF ( F¥€K EVERYONE ELSE’S OPINION!)
I feel for you! I tend to overeat too... Take care ❤
I hope you won't be offended, because I am not trying to offer some sort of quick fix or some prayer that will miraculously heal all, but maybe you could try ho'oponopono. It helped me immensely and maybe it could help you too if you would like to try. Sending you love❤
I over eat too. It's really hard for me to stand up for myself as well. I remember one time, our teacher told me in front of the class that I eat whenever I'm happy or sad. The class was silent and didn't laugh. I didn't dare look at my classmates because if I see them snickering, I knew I wouldn't forget their faces. I felt really humiliated but I just sat there and said nothing. I couldn't tell anything to my parents because they'd just brush it off.
I'm so sorry to hear that awful thing happened to you! I think we were meant for better than we have been shown. I hope you will have better days. I wish we could change the terrible, awfulness of it all. I wish it was only good. I will pray for you. Some people are just awful. Glad it is not everyone. Life can be so hard. I hope you have happy times. We need that. We have to eat as humans. No shame in that. That person wronged you. I hope we can all move forward somehow. God, please, please(!!!!!) help us!! In Jesus name, Amen. Please restore us fully to who you made us to be Lord Jesus, our Messiah! By the blood of your son God, plealse heal us as you have healed others before us! Please get us through our trials and hardships, all of these crazy times and extremely unkind people... Amen.
Please be our friend.
Please also bring us true friends.
In your name Jesus,
I pray,
Amen.
I grew up in the era of “children should be seen but not heard” when I look back I realise that was wrong & did not do this with my children, they have grown up with a healthy self esteem & im so proud of them. It still hurts sometimes what I experienced, but I understand & have come to terms with it, my parents took me to a child psychiatrist when I was 6 because I was so anxious, but it was just brushed off really. I still wonder why sometimes but I’ve just pushed past it as I’m in my 50s now, I can’t let that define my life
Sorry about this.. you are very strong and will get through this!
That era always bothered me any time I heard about it! It should never have been an era to begin with in my opinion
It’s the parents hour children should be seen but not heard! I remember that. But it wasn’t an hour…it was the time from after dinner until bedtime. I remember taking Maalox and Valium in middle school I had an ulcer from anxiety…does that tell you something?
five nights at freddys
@@user-sr8hc5fk1w what?
I told my dad I was suicidal and he told me “no your not” and moved on that’s what made me realize he wasn’t the best person. It’s like always knew something was wrong but that’s what made me realize it
I met my childhood friend a few months ago, I went over and stayed there for a while too. Eventually, I kept seeing how respectful and happy they were with their parents even though they were already a teen. The more time i spent with them, the more i got jealous of their relationship with their parents. I didn't want to cause any issues, so i would eventually just leave. I've always wondered what it would feel like to not go though continuous trauma your entire childhood since then. I'm still jealous -.-
Oh sad you don’t recognize jealousy as a problem.
@@IrishTexan09 it is a problem, I hate feeling that way because my friend is a great person. I wish it wasn’t like that.
@@user-nu8xi4sl1e that's sad man
This is making me realize how bad my situation was for me. The fact that I’d get jealous over parents that deeply cared for their kids and showed it. Properly paying attention to their emotions and handling it with the utmost care. People forget that it’s also neglect when your emotional needs aren’t met. I knew something was not ok when I realized how stressed out and scared I would become of my mom and dad sometimes.
I can’t speak for your friend but I’m happy around my parents and respectful but that doesn’t mean my life has been sunshine and rainbows. I’ve gone through some stuff but we’re working at it. I know it’s so hard to not feel jealousy and I’m sorry you ever had to feel this way. Please for the sake of yourself, get some professional help. Remember only you can make this change! I believe you can do it!
It makes me so sad that my parents brush off the illness of PTSD. I have been diagnosed with PTSD recently and I always feel heartbroken knowing that the experiences I had growing up weren't normal. I am still living with my parents (I'm in high school) and I always try to avoid conflict as much as possible for my little sister, as I can tell she is obviously experiencing the traumatic aftereffects of her childhood that are still ongoing. I always tear up when I see her flinch every time my Dad just walks past or near her.
I hope things get better for you and your sister soon!
Im sorry i hope it gets bettrr
Sending you safe hugs if you’re open to them. ☺️❤️
Sounds a lot like PTSD day by the description you gave.
Do you have medical insurance? If you can’t afford it there’s a high probability you qualify for free insurance through your state. Therapy and psychiatric care are free with state insurance.
Starting professional mental healthcare completely transformed my relationship with my dad who used to behave ragingly angry and scary. Being from a brutally violent country with only excessively corrupt government leadership and a literal 100% social norm of treating and discussing women as property like a plot of land, and presuming children are always consistently immoral, immature, inferior, and untrustworthy mixed with unresolved past trauma were at the root of emotionally lashing out when simply overwhelmed. Not justifying but I do want to understand how and why he acted like that. The influences. Setting clear boundaries and being more vulnerable with him in conversation. Discussion of why I personally can’t engage with anyone with being rude, disrespectful, and insensitive towards me for any reason at all. Talking about the impact of specific things said/done on me emotionally and my life, talking about the things said/done that massively privileged me and improved my life. We’re so close now. 🥺He also started to show me respect since I began being fully truthful with him about my feelings and goals and personal beliefs even if they oppose his own instead of letting him walk all over me like I was still the scared little girl.
Learning how to set and maintain reasonable interpersonal boundaries that I was never taught as a minor, clarifying on what values I want to stride towards with my daily actions, and verbally processing current struggles then immediately listing at least a few of the best possible solutions to each struggle (google = bff) specifically while working with mental health professionals has given me my voice and agency back. This must be what Ariel felt after finally being heard when her voice came back to her.
From 0 to 9 I grew up in a wonderful, loving environment. Just as I turned nine, my mom died in a stupid automobile accident, caused by a bus driver that went through a red light. Suddenly, my life flipped around in absolute terms; my farther went bezerk, married a woman that was the exact opposite of my mom, and my life became a nightmare. What kept me from falling appart was the massive amount of love I received from my mother, a love that helped me survive this nightmare, and a sense I had, which I don't know where it came from, that I should live my life to make her proud of her only child, and this, miraculously, gave me strength to go on, and to survive. Now, looking back, I believe she would be very proud of her kid, but at the same time, I realize what a horrible experience I went through. This, by the way, took place 50 years ago.
I don't know if you believe in ghosts or angels or any of the sort. But if you did, maybe your mother stayed as a ghost or angel to help give you the strength to persevere despite losing her.
I am sorry for your loss, though. It's horrible to lose a loving parent at so young an age! 🤗
Well done!
In most respects I had a privileged upbringing. Nice environment, good schools etc. but at the age of four, after a minor misdemeanour, I remember saying to my mother, “you don’t love me do you?” She replied that I made it difficult. In my 70s, that still hurts. I don’t remember being praised for anything, only criticised. I was bullied at school, but got no support. I was always a disappointment. My appearance, “let’s face it, you’re not the pretty, feminine type”. My lack of academic achievements…..When I qualified as a nurse, it wasn’t at a high enough level……and so on. I know it’s nothing compared to what others have endured, but it has impacted on my entire life.
As a parent myself I’m by no means perfect, but happily, my children are well balanced, caring people, with beautiful children of their own.
There is so much more I could say, but I feel guilty for being critical. Parenthood doesn’t always come easily to some people. One hurtful word can be carried with you for life.
Despite this, or maybe because of it, I have been told it is the reason I am empathetic, hate injustice, and have empathy for the oppressed.
So true how a mothers remarks to her child leave indelable marks for decades. Pretty hard unthink these remarks. My Mom had BDP and though she sometimes told me how much she loved me, she'd also get drunk and go on these emotional jags, saying exactly what she really thought. One time during a crying jag she mentioned she wished she'd never had me. Later she just denied it. It sucks.
Sounds like you've done very well with your children and grandchildren.
Get over it. That was a long time ago. IT DOESN"T MATTER ANY MORE!
It Does matter, because it lives in us for the rest of our lives. Well done you for not passing it on to your children, just love them and their children - and yourSelf! Hahaha am I talking to mySelf??!! 😊
I don't understand my trauma. I was very privileged, in fact I was given so much that I became spoiled. But I was able to tell my parents I loved them. Well, until...
7yo. A huge accident happened, which resulted in the death of my pet bird, whom I was closest to... (it was my fault, not my parents).
I don't know if that event changed me, but I started to become irritable, angry, even violent.. especially towards my family. Flash forward 7 yrs (yes, I still am very young).. and well, not much has changed. I'm still irritable, I'm no longer violent though I have bad thoughts, my parents were not necessarily bad but.. I treat them horribly. Why?... I dont know
@@Anonomush_oranges You missed the ENTIRE point in all that this person wrote.
It's... great to be aware, now.
; do you relate? do you need to vent? are you ok-?
; im sorry if im invasive, its just my instincts acting up after a year of having a traumatized bestie that i have to check up on
dxcJJKjjjxnxdnid8q7sudhdjdjd
deja vu intensifies
Which level are you at now?
@@BAITNSW1TCH It's okay! I'm feeling a lot better, now understanding where all is coming from has been plenty of help (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
@@Psych2go I've been at all 5 in the past few months, but being aware is already a huge step into healing and learning to cope with it! Thank you for the great video (◍•ᴗ•◍)
Abandonment issues and feeling worthless is something I struggle with every day. As an adopted child who had to watch their parents go through a divorced, I grew up so desperate for love and attention. I yearned for close friendships and relationships because I needed to feel wanted and seen. I became a sort of people pleaser and allowed toxic people into my circle. It really messed me up and destroyed my self image. Watching this struck something deep inside me. No idea what it is but I realize that the trauma I felt growing up was real. I am in a better place and I can finally say I am not alone anymore. This story serves as a kind reminder: You are not alone and even on your own, you are stronger than you realize.
I've always believed that I didn't have a traumatic childhood because my parents were so good to me, and still are. Relating to a few signs, and realizing myself about my certain behaviours towards things made me come to terms that despite my parents being good to me all my life, they're not perfect. Even now at 17, I hug stuffed animals for support and comfort. My mom has made me fear sharing my opinions or simply talking back about what she's said because it'd get me in trouble. She's done this quite often to where I'm hesitant to share my opinions/speak up about certain things. Around my teenage years, I've asked her if I could share my opinions or make comments in a groupchat I'm in, and she's told me not to if it'll get a negative reaction out of people (even if it's nothing bad). She's made me fear and avoid a lot of simple things because I could get hurt if I did it. When my parents fight, I've intervened a few times and got yelled at, which is why I hate fighting and try to stop it whenever possible. I flinch at yelling and angry behaviour/body language because of my dad (not that it was because of me or anything.)
Believe me, I understand what you mean ^^U my parents are good people, theh even aknowledge some of their mistakes regarding my childhood and my siblings'; and now are trying to be better.
But still. The damage is done. I struggle with some things that you mentioned (fear of speaking up, avoiding fights)and with some things the video mentioned. Every time there is some kind of fight or discussion (the type that is not agressive but the tone can be ibterpreted as such) near me my first instinct is to hide and avoid it completely. Im always nervous when a friend or relative is quiet in my presence, or doesnt chat to me for a while, because I think they are upset with me. And it took me years to realize it's because whenever my mom was angry at me, she would give me the cold shoulder, instead of telling straight what I did wrong.
I hope you are in a better place mentally and emotionally now, and have a better relationship with your parents! :)
I feel u that pretty closely describes my childhood
@@snipeknite9614 mine as well. I’m glad a lot of us can relate to this kind of situation :]
Just a note: at 17, you are stil a teenager, and you've got many more years of brain development to go. Continue to try and be open and talk with your parents. Find a counselor or teacher at school you can talk to, but don't intervene when parents fights- because you most likely are missing information and can make issues worse. You parents need to work out their own issues with each other. Adults fight- no matter how well adjusted they are - and it will be up to them to determine how they will go about dealing with their stuff. Best of luck
Im glad you mentioned this because I’ve been having the same struggle, but recently, events opened my eyes to see that my mom wasn’t as… supportive or kind that I always assumed she was. I’m 28 now, so it took a long while to see this. I don’t think everything she did was intentional, but sometimes we don’t realize the red flags because that’s our normal.
Hearing stories online about people with terrible parents makes me realize how lucky I am with my parents, but I also understand that my parents aren't perfect either. Nobody's perfect, after all.
That said, I think part of my own issues stem from me as opposed to how my parents were towards me. I'm not sure why there are times where I don't want their help even though they're willing to help me and my siblings out despite the fact that accepting their help will probably make it easier for me to deal with whatever problem I have at the time. 😢
Watching these videos is making me realize that maybe I do need to seek some professional mental health help, but I don't know if I can afford it, what with living in California... and I'm also worried that I might just go "Oh, I'm fine" if I do seek professional help and not actually get the help I would need because of my own responses making it difficult to find the underlying issue and thus get to a solution... 😢
Mental health really is complicated, huh?
*I also had a traumatic childhood, I still suffer PTSD whenever someone raises their voice at me or starts critizing me, thankfully I'm now taking therapy and I'm slowly healing from this but it's been difficult*
EDIT: thanks y'all for your wishes, even though we're random strangers online, I appreciate these comments. I hope y'all are also doing well and healing if you had a traumatic childhood
I’m sorry to hear that; I hope things have been well with you lately.
What happens to u when they yell at u do u flinch or something.
@@sunsettime970 I start crying tbh, kinda like going back to my childhood years
It must be difficult for you. I hope you'll be fine and I wish for your happiness.
Half the battle is realizing it. 👍🏼
I had a traumatic childhood mainly due to bullies at school. I was a very odd child compared to other kids, I was quiet, constantly cried, and when I felt overwhelmed I had meltdowns in classrooms, I felt misunderstood. I had very supportive parents but having to deal with bullies at school scarred me, I was constantly harassed by other kids and was basically the punching bag of bullies because I think I was an easy target for them to make fun of.
It wasn't until a few years ago when my nephew was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD that I came to realize that many of the behaviors that I displayed during my childhood (and still display to this day, however I mask a lot of these) are probably due to the fact that I'm on the autism spectrum myself but I'm undiagnosed. I'm 28 years old now, and I'm not sure if it's worth it to pursue a diagnosis at this point of my life. I feel like it would validate and explain a lot of things in my life and would take this huge pressure off my chest.
It's definitely worth it to pursue a diagnosis. Doesn't matter whether you're 8, 28 or 78. A diagnosis would help you understand yourself better and maybe give you answers to questions you've had for years. I'd say you owe it to yourself to look into it if you haven't already.
@@supertuber120 I agree try to pursue a diagnosis
If you are not going to seek help for it, then stop whining about it. At this point it is your choice to live like this, embrace it and move on. As far as childhood bullying, it made you the person you are today, hopefully a person who cares about others, who steps up when confronted with injustice, who will go out of their way to comfort a child in need.
You encouraged me, you're not the only one who lived exactly like this.
I always felt like something wasn’t right but I grew up very sheltered so I didn’t really know what was “normal”. When I would go to friends houses, and then asked my parents why they were calmer and kinder, I was told they were soft and stupid and that my family was more of the average. I had no idea my family was toxic until I went to college and spoke to friends about it. I was surprised to see them look so worried and tell me that the way I grew up is far from normal. Getting beat and screamed at for forgetting a chore or voicing an opinion on something, loosing belongings for struggling in school, being allowed zero privacy and being in complete terror when making a mistake, fearful of the punishment I received, are all not normal. And that’s been a big pill to swallow. Especially because I still have to live with them. I’m in therapy and attempting to work through it.
Thank you all for putting out this video tho, if I saw this years ago I might have known and learned that the suffering I experienced wasn’t normal and not something I should have ever gone through
No one should have to go through what you and I have been through. I know it hurts, when you feel like you don't belong or your not the perfect child. We cry tears only God sees, so maybe we can let Him heal both of us from being hurt by people. Let Love Grow ❤
My dad was a physical/mental abuser to me and a mental abuser to my sisters. It took getting professional therapy to actually forgive him and move on. Even after therapy it took years afterwards to quit bad habits in my behavior before I am where I am today. I just wish both of my sisters would reach out and get the mental help they need.
@@vkat2703 you should seek outside help!
Do you still talk to him?
Why everyone here is whining about how bad their dad is?
My dad was even worse
He was ripping my skin by his white thick belt almost every day
I still love him
He taught me how to be a man
@@Lieutenantfollicle I don't believe a word of this Mr. "Mom Kidnapper" loll do you have an alpha male podcast on Spotify?
@@vkat2703 I know you think it’s normal and trust me I was you I really thought it was normal no matter what people told me but it’s NOT what your going through is just plain terrible it’s not normal but that shouldn’t make you feel bad because even thought you went through what you did you can come back STRONGER please get help any way you can. And remember only YOU know what YOUR going through so don’t let ANYONE tell you different
Healing involves discomfort but so does refusing to heal. And over time refusing to heal is more painful....
It's not your fault that it happened.
You're worthy of everything good.
You're worth protecting.
You're beautiful and loved.
You're not alone, I'm with you
What happened to you, isn't your fault..
It's okay to feel what you're feeling rn.
Ik you'll heal soon, and to heal you need to smile 🦋
Have you smiled today?, A true genuine smile that comes after seeing a baby, a puppy?
I wish I could give you a warm hug, you're so precious to me.
sometimes it hurts too much..... But let's choose to heal together.
Ik we'll make it out together, sweetheart
Just hold on to me 🤍
You'll experience something beautiful today 🦋
Thank you that is so sweet😊❤
Don’t mind me screenshotting these beautiful words 🥲
That's the most beautiful comment I read today, it made me smile. Thank you so much❤
Really nice comment... however I...don't want to be told false compliments... I appreciate the thought but I'm good in my hole.
@@gonerofsavers3813 they aren't false compliments, they're truths you need to believe inorder to heal
Well, the truth is that not all childhood traumas happened and were experienced at home. Sometimes they're at school or somewhere else. For example, my childhood trauma and PTSD started from an incident in school when I was extremely young. I developed Social Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and maybe even Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This type of childhood trauma is just as bad and as scarring as any trauma. I am still like this and it's almost been 10 years. I am still young, and scared of being judged, so I do nothing to get any help. I sulk and sink into my anxiety and depressive thoughts. Recovery is around the corner though. I'm hopeful. But when things go dark, I can't help but panic. I want out. I have experienced a valid traumatic event, and trauma is different for everyone anyways. Phobias and natural fears have also generated in my brain. Sure. My trauma isn't based upon guilt or things of that nature, but instead it's built upon shame, humiliation, judgement, and embarrassment. It hurts. And if you went through something like this, you're valid and your trauma is real trauma. You know yourself better than anyone and you know how you feel, even if it has no explanation. This is the end, sorry if I wasted your time with this. But all I have to say as a conclusion is that childhood trauma is not always the parents' fault and doesn't always take place in a home.
Some of my earliest childhood memories are of teachers screaming in my face. Can't remember anything as to what it was about either. Another one hit me in front of everyone for "back-chatting" when I tried to explain that a dirty tissue on the floor hadn't been my doing but that I'd take care of it anyway. I had a phobia of germs as achild and not being able to leave the class to wash my hands afterwards was a nightmare for me. As I bent to pick it up she wacked me with a ruler.
I'm sure my depression and the way I feel are from school. Constant abuse day in day out for years for being thin.
I always thought it was normal for parents to hit their children. When I started high school my friends told me otherwise. Over the years I have come to realize that the way my parents disciplined me and my siblings was physically and emotionally abusive. One time my mum punched me in the face right before school. I was 14. I'll never forget it. I have pretty much all of the issues listed in this video 😥
My parents slapped my bum when I was growing up, but they never punched my face. I’m sorry to hear that’s how you were treated.
Your mother should have been arrested for that.
@@CanadianMonarchist That's how my dad was; he would grab my arm, twist it around, and slap my bum so hard & often it hurt; I remember he slapped my kid sister on her bum non-stop during dinner because she didn't want to eat her sweet potatoes (I lost count after the 5th slap). My mom never intervened. My dad kept slapping me on my bum as hard and frequently as possible until I was 16 years old, even for things I didn't do. He never slapped me again after that. I don't know why; maybe he noticed that I wasn't a little kid anymore, that I was turning into a young woman; maybe my mom said something to him, who knows?
@@lindaoneil5085 I’m sorry to hear he treated you that way. I hope your life has been better since.
I was always hit, too. Married a man who hit me, learned it at my parents knee. So unhealthy.
My siblings and I joke about our "spicy memories" all the time, but we all know that we're messed up in one way or another even if we had an okay childhood. We (my young adult siblings, myself and our mom) have been away from a volitile situation for close to three years now, and even now in my 30s I'm still struggling with managing how I react to things emotionally. Being the eldest child meant I was much more exposed to that for a longer period, and it's difficult to even find joy on some days.
You are reminding me of my own family. Js recently, we all js sat together and also joked about our 'spicy memories'. I'm the youngest, so i was the least exposed to it, but i'm prolly also messed up somehow. Being war survivors prolly didn't help, and altho i never took the effects it could have had on me seriously since i was too young to remember anything when we left, i have recently been considering how even babies can get traumatised, which would include me-
But even with that, it's hard to accept the possibility that i may be traumatised when i see myself as having an okay childhood; i mean like come on, what was so bad about my childhood?
I’m currently in therapy and this is one of the things I’m working on coping with. It’s honestly sad that parents like this tend to not actually be fully aware that they are the problem because in most cases they are materialistically and physically providing for their child(ren), but won’t accept/acknowledge that they are mentally and emotionally destroying their child(ren) and setting the future relationships their kid(s) have with others up for failure😕.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong and will get through this!
My lady had had a traumatic childhood.
I used to take care of her and did all the mentioned ideas.
Still she left..may be she had healed or didn't required my comfort or caress.
May she be safe and sound wherever she be..
Sending her tons of love.
Sadly people have to be willing to change themselves and we can't heal them. I would give a great deal to take away the impact of trauma from my partner. The most I can do is make a safe "now" and help him use strategies he's learned when things are tough. I hope you can find peace
@@helengibbs3153 You're correct.People should harden their nerve and bone to make themselves stand on their legs.
We can only support them as a creeper or a climber.Rest all in their hands.
Glad that you're helping your man.
Do take care of his emotional needs.
May Almighty keep both of you safe and sound.
I can identify with your lady.
You are a very brave and honest man.
Much respect to you.
I hope you have found love and comfort in your life
Thank You for your concern.
God Bless.
@ nush nick: What about you? You seem to be a caring person,but don't you think you,too,need some care?😍
Just read through all the comments and found several I could have written...........quite helpful to read others were listening
to the same B.S. I was. will be 80 in April and remember it all too vividly. It never goes away. If you have children be
kind and loving. These things don't cost money and can mean so much to a child.
My childhood wasn't the best. My mother couldn't take care of me, my father was in prison, so i was adopted when i was just 3 months old. I can't hate my parents for it, cause why run around with hate in your heart. I can stand up to myself, which i do a lot, even if i don't always do so
I am in my 60's and I suffered as a child with dysfunctional parents. I learned a great tip from Marissa Peer to love the child that was neglected. i learned to visualise that child and hold it in my arms and give it the love and care the child needed. She helped me a lot to give unconditional love to that child, being the adult that I am now. And yes it works.Thank you for all of your kind advice to all who may suffer in this way.
Thank you for this video. I have recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder along with mild adhd. They told me it was most likely from trauma. These videos have helped me in my mental health journey and have changed my life for the better. Sincerely, thank you so so much.
I know I had a traumatic childhood. My father died when I was 7 and my mother was somewhat emotionally abusive. My "brother" and I were both adopted at a young age (no blood relation) and were never close. There was no outward show of love or affection and there was an abundance of condemnation, whether it was over grades in school or performance in sports, or just about anything in between. Yes, there was a lot of "risky behavior" in my younger years. I basically amazed myself for living through the majority of them. But I came to realize exactly how I coped with it all. I considered the source, realized how to control those things I could control and overlook those things I had no control over, and came to the realization that I was not the problem, it was those around me. My biggest regret is, since I was raised in a somewhat loveless environment and affection was never shown, that has caused me to be somewhat lacking in expressing love and affection...especially towards my wife and son. Thankfully, they got to see first hand at the kind of "family" I was raised in and understand why I am the way I am. BTW, I am 72 and have been married for 42+ yrs. I have a son in his 40's and both he and my wife know how I feel towards them.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong and will get through this!
I used to have panic attacks every single and my parents just... Ignored it usually. My sister would say "Why do you ruin everything for us? Just get over it"
Very well said!
Many people do not realize that childhood trauma extends itself well into adulthood even though the adult rarely recognizes they even have a mental disorder / problem. Once the person reaches their late 20s or early 30s, if the mental disorder is not addressed by a professional mental health practitioner the disorder has a very strong possibility of becoming ingrained into the person's personality permanently (thus becoming classed and identified as personality disorder).
This psychological information should be a standard part of all general studies university programs....(IMHO)!
I didn't realize how neglectful and abusive my parents were until I managed to make friends and met their, more healthy parents. My mother used to refer to me as "her RRSP".
I certainly experienced a lot of these growing up, and still do. Fortunately I've traded abusing pain medication in for frequent weed use - and in that, it's been a very conscious journey as well finding strains and effects that work best for handling my specific symptoms. Going low contact with my parents and keeping my life secret from them except for small tidbits I explicitly choose to share has kept me feeling safe and actually able to make my own decisions.
I didn't realize just how much I would fall back into my absued shell when I kept even moderate contact with my parents. They had to fully show me they didn't respect me and I had to accept and grieve that loss of this "parents I wish I had" image to finally be able to start really healing and becoming genuinely me.
If you're ever wondering, no. You don't owe your parents anything. Go be your own person. That's why you're here.
I know that I was raised in an extremely unhealthy environment. Fortunately when I turned 18 I sought mental health care. Put it all behind me. Raised 4 boys to be strong, heathy well adjusted young men. Thanks mom, could not have done it without you. You made one BIG mistake, you brought me to church.
Happy to see that you are thriving despite the short-comings you had! Keep on inspiring others in your shoes!
Amazing. Definitely to be commended 🙂
Does seeking for a mental health professional would really help ?
I feel so helpless and realise and my pain is not gonna end
@@extra-lives It did for me. You have to find an LCSW that's right for you. Having a RUclips channel such as this one would have been extremely helpful when I was growing up! I'm 61. Back then I had to read physic books and take courses in physiology. This channel is awesome in helping me, I never knew the words for all the dysfunctional ppl. It also helped that I went to church. Today I do not and will never believe in organized religion because my mother and her family were devout Roman Catholic, at least one day a week. But it gave me a head start that I wouldn't have today.
I do believe in a higher power, my faith has grown tenfold since I left the church.
Though I thought I had a pretty decent childhood, I was raised by my mom in the Jehovah Witnesses religion (cult) and it was an extremely unhealthy environment to grow up in. My dad never intervened in the way I was raised either, because my mom was adamant that was how I would be brought up with strong Christian morals. Fortunately I left as an adult and found much more happiness in life outside that toxic environment. I have one child and she is being raised without organized religion, and she is very much happier and more well adjusted than I was as a kid.
Never being good enough or can't do anything right taught in childhood, has a core belief of shame that impacts the adult their entire life. One whose experienced repeated trauma, has built monumental defences or walls. The child did this to survive being that no healthy adult s were their for them. It's unfortunate for anyone who had to live this kind of life as a child. They will experience difficulties in their intimate and vocational relationships. Therapy unfortunately can hardly put a bandaid on this lost soul since this type of early programming is extremely detrimental on the individual.
I don’t remember a whole lot of my childhood honestly, but I know neglect was a big issue but it wasn’t necessarily my mom’s fault. She was a single mom and had to work, I understand that. I was left with my grandpa a lot, but he didn’t really do anything with me. I was also very sheltered…my mom and stepdad had BAD anxiety but refused to get therapy because “therapy is for crazy people” so they controlled me and basically never let me out of their sight unless it was for school (this continued through high school and even as a young adult). Also the drinking…binge drinking was a thing but they said it was fine because it was only beer. But yknow…20 beers in the span of an hour or so isn’t fine. And doing it every night isn’t fine. My favorite thing was telling my DARE teacher in the middle of class about my stepdad’s drinking problem and absolutely nothing being done about it. I remember there was a silence and she was like “he’s not that much fun to be around when he does that, is he?” I shook my head and she went on with the lesson. Nothing else happened.
I'm pretty sure not being able to remember some of or all of your childhood is a sign of abuse or a bad childhood.
@@serenitysmith352 Wait a minute, what did your father do to you? This was hard to read and I hope that you take some English composition classes while in college. However, I assume that your father beat you? What did he use? All of the bruises were on your back so did he use his fist? My last name is Smith but I am married so I use it as my middle name, it is a great name. My grandfather Smith was from Scotland. GOD bless you and I hope that you get help if you are suffering from cPTSD which is common with abused children and usually hits you in your late 30s and early 40s. It is a shame what some parents will do to their precious children, they have serious anger problems, are alcoholics, have PTSD themselves, or are just mean, cruel, and sadistic. And in your case, you were rejected by your mother and then your father, that is a lot of pain that you have to cope with. GOD can help, you are loved by him because he is your real father, he created you and he just needs you to communicate with him. He will listen and he will help you to understand why you are a victim of such cruel parents and he will give you peace. You won't forget but you can forgive and you are doing the right thing by telling your story. Not many people are comfortable hearing such unpleasant things, and they will abandon you too but you can go on channels like this one and tell caring people about your past and the more you talk about it the faster you will heal. GOD Bless🙏🙏
100% yes I did have extremely traumatic early years of my life and this is destroying my life. I can’t be in a relationship I can’t trust absolutely anyone and I’m also having real hard time communicating with new people. This is all because my parents were super narcissistic woman and apathetic half man who was never there for me.
Thanks for your videos ! You guys are helping me to ever so slowly get rid of all the trauma they’ve caused me!
The thing about trauma is that it will never leave you. You must learn to carry that wight.
My childhood was absolutely terrible, growing up in an environment where both parents hated each other and things got evolved as my family fought, along with police, court, CPS, EPS, and APS. Me and my siblings were physically, mentally, and emotionally abused, which caused us to have PTSD and suicidal thoughts. School wasn't very welcoming, as our lives caused us to not focus, and autisim, ADHD, OCD, and other mental disorders didn't help. One of my siblings committed suicide, and I almost did myself. This affected meso much.
Whenever people spoke how amazing their parents are I can never relate. I grew up with relatives and my mother was emotionally unavailable and she never cared. I grew up to be very independent and a single mom of 2 and my relationship with my children is very important to me more than anything in the world
Wow, I can relate. Sorry to hear about that. Great thing you're breaking the Generational Curses. Sending love to u and your family
I feel you peace and love to you 💚💚💚
At 3:06 I’m so happy that you included Catra in the drawing, she is one of those characters that fit so well with the trauma and mental health problems that are shown in the video. (Just wanted to say that this video was great! I learned more about myself and other things, so thank you.)
It was such a pleasant surprise to see Catra. I could hear her asking Shadow Weaver "Why did you treat me the way you did? Why was I never good enough for you?"
@Kuduk Ungol Exactlyyy!
yay!
This video honestly hit differently for me at the moment.
I'm kind of going through a realization that I may have been traumatized.
This video has made me realise that I have many of the symptoms of trauma, even if I still do love my parents.
They have improved a lot but I'm still afraid of them because of hoe they yelled at me or 'emotionally cornered' me.
Whatever I'd say when they asked if I was upset would get me yelled at, and ithas possibly left scars.
It's a weird feeling for me because, again, they have been improving and I do still love them. They have done a lot of good for me and I cannot thank them enough.
However, I still feel like some of the ways they used to react caused trauma for me.
I'm sorry if this feels like I'm trauma dumping, but I just figured I'd point this out for myself.
If anyone has any advice for me, I'd be open as I don't really know what to do at the moment. I'm slowly making my way up though😅
Thank you, Psych2Go, for being so helpful for people like me! People who may not realise that they've had trauma. People who are in denial.
@SaltyShaman All the time? No, that's not normal at all-
Happens a lot, sadly, and I'm sorry you had to go through that :(
It's a complicated topic so I'm not gonna give advice or say anything certain without knowing the context, but I do know now that a parent constantly yelling at their kids isn't normal-
@@JesusJavaJuli Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry that happened to you, that sounds awful!
No, that was never your fault in any possible way! You were the victim and she had issues, especially dragging you out of the bed by your hair like that!
That is 100% abuse, that should have never happened!
I seriously hope you’re doing better, and that you feel safe and secure away from that living space
@@JesusJavaJuli Oh, wonderful! I’m very glad you’re getting therapy for this, or for anything, really!
Im so happy you talked about ageregression! Honestly ageregression is something that a lot of people dont know about
For sure! Do you want to share your own personal experience about it?
@@Psych2go Sorry this is so late but id love to! Is there somehwere I can do this or should I do it here?
Most boxes ticked. Still anxious socially at 75 as told constantly from the age of five that I was just like the hated mother in law and no-one would ever like me. This was part of a daily rant which included threats to be put in a children’s home and being constantly told I was unwanted. I don’t think i had even misbehaved to start this tirade off because I was frightened of her, she was just taking her frustrations out on me. She died at 96 and I did not feel any sense of loss.
Wow, I was told the same thing. A couple of times I did a minor kid think, once wiggle a park bench and annoyed my mother. She told me to stop. Being about eight I forgot and made it wiggle again, parents explode and we had to leave and get in the car. They kept talking about putting me 'in a home' because I couldn't be good. Wow!
I never felt secure and like I had a real home. It's like they killed my inner feeling for them over the years. I am
79 and still feel all the pain.
I am so sorry
2:01 as someone with servere childhood trauma it was actually caused by old friends and current friends. I am an ADHD person who has been struggling for a while. I cry a lot, and get bullied. It severely damaged my own health and I never spoke of how I actually felt. I feel like this video helped me understand that sharing feelings is a good thing.
Because they seem to think that because we didn't hear them/ didn't process what they said, that we're ignoring them on purpose, or trying to provoke them.
My form of trauma was mostly adults bullying me at a much younger age. At the time they probably thought that it was "amusing" or "just light teasing" and actually i used to look at it that way too until of course later in life, i started to realize that it was a major issue for me because even to this day i really struggle with daily tasks in life.
Holding onto those traumatic experiences isn't the most healthy thing to do and yet i can't help but do exactly that. I still to this day think of it. In my mind those bad memories are as clear as day. It's like i can't even forget about it.
I have other trauma as well which to this day i still haven't come to terms with. It's not as easy as to just "get over it". Those things aren't really that easy to move on from. I wish it was, honestly. Because at the end of the day all i want is to live my life without having those negative things in my life. I hate that to this day i still hold onto those negative memories. It's not like they're doing me any good.
Confrontation I still struggle with to this day(I'm 26). My dad is an intimidating person and I felt like at times my voice or opinion didn't matter.
(I feel he is also bipolar, but not diagnosed. My dads side of the family has a history of bipolar. I have it too but it's only mild and treated with medicine).
I even struggle with them just being emotionally unattached to me at random points, hence why I find comfort to this day with stuffed animals, anime and video games. It was my happy place and still is when I need a temporary escape from life.
Both my parents have a crap past of physical/emotional abuse, abandonment and just horrible parents period. They both have unaddressed trauma and that trauma has affected me and my siblings.
I feel they aren't bad people per say, nor am I condoning their behavior, but I just wish they could have gotten help before having kids so that we didn't experience such things...
I think 3 and 4 are mostly me, but im mostly gonna talk about the 4th aspect. I love my Mom very very much and i know she does too, but sometimes I fear to talk out things with her, and i think its because she is used to be a little too scary when she's pissed off. Another example is when she often criticized me for the way i act, do things, or even talk, wich is like my main problem (?) cause she actively reminded me about it and said she corrected me about the way i sound while speaking since i was like 8 or something. By the time i felt very like... worthless, like everything i did was bad and it would not matter if i was gone or something idk. Now listen, I know (and she said it) that she does this for my own good to not be bullied at school, wich i found a bit weird since no one at school pointed out that i talk or sound bad, cause i am kinda social there, more than house even.
Nothing takes more courage than putting yourself back together again.
What if you were never in one piece to begin with?
@@seal9454 then I hope someday you’ll finally be in once piece, even if it takes forever to do so
@@seal9454 then you can learn how to be 😊
*FRIENDLY REMINDER* | The value of life can be seen in the fact that it ends. Everyone should do all he or she can to make it meaningful and rewarding.
You are so right about that. Thank you for your help and God bless you ✝️😇
You are so right about that. Thank you for your help and God bless you ✝️😇
It wasn't until the first time I stayed over at a friends house that I realized parents aren't normally telling their kids they're stupid idiots who can't do anything right, they didn't beat them with whatever object was near them and ACTUALLY went to their sporting events... there was no sharing of feelings in our house or feeling of loving home it was only "I wish I'd never had you!". Of course all that changed when her angel my sister was too "busy" to do her in home hopsice due to pancreatic cancer so me being the only single and childless sibling got stuck with it... for the last 3 years nearly everyday I wish I had told her how much I hated her and wish just once growing up she would have acted like all my friends mothers... but once again I put someone else's feelings above mine so as to not start a conflict. To this day I'm pissed at myself that I didn't say anything to her, because of it all my relationships have failed due to fear of being hurt and unable to trust anyone. So now I just keep to myself, yet again doing in home hospice for another family member and rarely go out but for arrends and occassional meet up with the guys... my room is safer and the rest of the world isn't missing me...
A lot of my memories of when I was a little child started to come up recently. So now I know where all my trauma comes from. I had 5 siblings and both biological parents. Sounds great, right? Well, that would've been the case, but none of them liked spending time with me and I would constantly be disregarded which turned me into who I am today. I found friends who support me with anything I do and yet I still feel like there's an ulterior motive even though logically I know that's not the case. Watching these videos have always helped me since I found this channel. So I thank Psych2Go for helping me find myself and who I truly am
Sorry about this.. you are very strong and will get through this!
Thank you for exposing certain habits I tend to do unconsciously, especially risk taking to avoid the negative feelings ❤️.
Stay safe ❤
Now that you're aware, if you notice you continue to have these habits, Please consider seeking a trauma-informed therapist
That's good that you were able to learn about something about yourself. What's your next course of action?
People who have childish behavior in my opinion is also caused from being forced to grow up to fast, trauma is something is more of something that adults could handle better and it’s hard to handle it as a kid as having it during development will definitely have a harder effect compared to if you had healthy development and I’m not an adult but I’m definitely childish, everyone’s just growing up and it’s hard to keep up, I wish I could have stepped down and stayed at the child stage but now it’s hard to step up when I’m supposed to
I’m an adult now. I was raised with so much abuse. Point one..having a stuffed animal to cuddle into was what I did. I sure had insecurity so much. Low self esteem was there. Had anorexia until I was 17 or 19. I did some risky behaviours because of the amount and frequency of it. Was from both siblings and parent. Pissed me right off. Life was a rocky journey until I reached 39. By the time I turned 40 I got rid of almost every single nasty and fake as people. Bar a few Facebook friends. At this stage I’m ready to get rid of the last two I’m praying for it to happen. Life at my age is looking happy and promising. Travel is on the cards. Moving house is a consideration that’s for sure. I’m done with arzeholes. Life is so beautiful when you don’t have people dragging you down. Eat, love, sleep, crap, pee, fart, laugh, shower and drink to be merry. Please appreciate all your true blessings you do have. I do it. I’m more stronger than I believe I was. Triumph over pleasing mongrels any day 😎🎉💜
i wish people understood more about age regression it would be awesome to see psych2go do a video specifically on age regression
You mean the defense pedophiles use to justify their perverse inclinations?
@@bleachedout805 you are completely uneducated your thinking of age play which is absolutely not age regression two entirely different things
yesss. I am an age regressor myself and I would love to see that.
yes, i have bpd and pstd and I have age regression that’s uncontrollable so i’d love to learn about it more
@@crypticshadows exactlyyy
3:05 I’m sorry, but I’m just obsessed with how you added Catra here. She is the perfect character to describe this and it was just such a good decision. Psych2go u just made my day :3
What I find interesting about this video is that my childhood traumatic experiences were somewhat mild to moderate, and not terrible like in the movies, and this video informed me that I do have symptoms to this day (at age 60) but my symptoms, like my experiences are mild to moderate. Real life is rarely black and white. It is full of many shades of gray. This video taught me that my bitterness about those experiences I had are probably justified but at the same time I feel very grateful that those experiences and resulting symptoms were not worse. After many years I have slowly overcome most of the worst symptoms but still need to work on it. My heart goes out to people with very severe experiences and resulting symptoms but I would say to them that they should seek help and support and keep fighting to heal yourself as much as you can. It's worth it.
I had a traumatic childhood since I can remember, with the earliest incident that I recall being raped at 8yrs old, following this losing my dad to a fatal stroke when I was 9. Then things kinda spiraled downward from there. Many other situations after that some I can't remember (or don't want to so maybe my mind suppressed the memories), but just one thing after the other.
Give yourself time to heal with the help of a trauma-informed therapist
I’m so sorry love. I hope you have been able to heal. My heart breaks for you. Like a Phoenix you rose from the ashes and if no one has told you, I’m proud of you for keeping on going.
Thank You all for the sweet and kind comments.. I admit, typing this post was kinda hard, but also lightened up my heart a little to get it off my chest. I appreciate it.. 🙂 Everybody have a good weekend and safe Memorial Day!
Virtual hugs from me! All the things will get better, after the storm the rainbow is showing
@Mishti Singh Unfortunately the ones that have inflicted harm upon me have not as of the present been brought to justice. Unless they have and I don't know about it.. but I heard that if they don't get served by the law, God and Karma will eventually have the day to set them straight.
Number 4 hit. 😢 I’m so afraid of not being good enough its hard to even try sometimes. To do anything new or something I’ve done a hundred times, still just feels like I’m a failure at it. I can’t even pick up a pencil to draw anymore. I’ve put so much pressure on myself that I’m just scared to try.
I have childhood trauma and I tend to accidentally age regression without realizing it. I didn't know that I did it and thought I was just immature for acting like a child when im an adult.
Can relate. I was wondering why I act like a little kid when I’m also an adult. I was just like, why am I doing this? Other adults don’t act like this? It’s like my mind wants to relive the childhood that failed when I was actually a child
Won’t stop me from cuddling my hundreds of stuffies
I can also relate as I have wondered about myself why I act like a little kid. My husband and I both had traumatic childhood and we'll discuss sometimes why we still both act like little kids
I wouldn't have thought of the cuddle doll as a sign of this. I mean, who doesn't need to cuddle? And there isn't always a willing human to cuddle with.
I tend to pace a LOT. And come on cuddles are op no one is stoping me from cuddling my stuffy!
@Mango 🥭 I get bad tantrums too, since being old enough to speak and throw things.. I still have days where I'll be off on a tantrum for hours then I crash from all the exhaustion.
Never thought i'd find this in my recommendations, but it was quite relatable. As somebody who has to deal with strict parents and school all at once, the stress can be highly overwhelming.
For anyone else suffering from any kind of neglect or worthlessness, remember: You're not alone.
Gonna be honest here... i was looking for cartoons that had characters that delt with trauma so i can get some inspiration for a fanfic i want to write and came across this video. I really expected you to talk about being hit, screamed at ect as a child... not this. I know i didn’t have the best childhood but this video made me realize a few things about myself and i might have trauma and thsts the reason im the way that i am today. Not really sure how to feel about that
Why do I relate with these videos so much... For the past 6 months I've been trying my best to gain peace of mind but it does not seems to work yet but I'll be trying till it does.
I really appreciate you regularly uploading videos on mental health . It really gives us deep insight about ourselves. Thank you 💕.
I always get yell at, and always apologize for smallest things, then they say "shut up stop apologizing for nothing"(, always make me sad, i think my parents do think that all i need is toys, clothes and food, i do want talk with them but im scared of telling them my problems.
1:40 I didn’t expect a hollow knight reference on a Psychology channel! Great video!
Exactly, I was just casually watching and then: OHH SHII-
All 5 of these signs I identify with and find myself feeling frequently. Not sure if teenage years count as childhood, but my teens were extremely traumatic for me. I got bullied at school and had a menopausal belligerent explosive mother who was hostile towards both of us, and not to mention she was an alcoholic. I made a mistake by living with the same mother after I got out of college since I couldn’t find a decent job with my degree. Moving back in with her after college was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. She became even more controlling and abusive the older I got. In my late 20s I’d had enough and in the heat of an argument, packed up a few essentials and spent the night with a friend. After that I spent a week in a mental hospital, and when I left I eventually was able to move in with a different friend until I found a place. When I finally did find a place, I still didn’t speak with my mother and didn’t do so for 8 months. I live alone now thanks to my dad stepping in and helping me out, but I still carry the trauma of my teens and mid-late 20s with me to this day.
SAD LIFE Since I Was Born...
But In Childhood It Was Slowly Getting Worse But Suddenly Everything Got Worst
LOST EVERYTHING...
I just found out by my therapist not so long ago that I had a neglectful childhood and growing up with my divorced parents even though I thought it was totally normal how I was raised and that is just how other families could be. Now looking it into my husband’s family and comparing mines, it all makes sense now how I ended up to be, (Depression and Anxiety). It made me to be a person with decision issues, loneliness, emptiness and in constant stress over everything.
I am part of a DID system, which that disorder comes from repetitive childhood trauma
I don't remember most of my life, it's all repressed memories, but everything in how I act, think and feel, most of it is trauma responses
Kinda recently, I've been allowed to remember more, I have really bad gut feelings about my old babysitter, and I don't remember any details, but my mind tells me a lot more happened growing up
It's so difficult, I'm like a living trauma response, I'm not even the original host, I'm a split form of her
It's so stressful, being forced into acting like an adult, having trauma that I don't know, realizing every little thing I do is some how a trauma response, and having a severe trauma disorder
I just dont know anymore..
I've been looking through this comment section for the past 45 minuets and I've finally found a comment saying that their trauma came from something other than school or parents or a quick traumatic event, and I feel a whole lot better now that I know I'm not alone. I can relate to a lot of what u say, actually. I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming, which like DID, also comes from repetitive child hood trauma.
I used to have this "friend", we'll call "H", who I hung out with quite a lot between the ages of 3-7ish. She was around 3 years older than me. She would belittle, threaten, completely ignore me when we're with her other friends, try to get me to do things I didn't want to (nothing s3xua|, at least from what I remember), and isolate me from my other friends by saying things like "I'm your only friend, right?" and "don't let anyone else know about this". She *hardcore* gaslighted me in many ways, even got me literally into thinking that I was seeing things that weren't there and not seeing things that supposedly were. All that gaslighting caused me to doubt myself in everyday life, I'm 16 now and am still effected by this.
I did try to tell my mom once when it got to be too much (i believe i was 6ish) but it was extremely difficult since I wasn't able to explain exactly what H was doing to me. So my mom (bless her) couldn't really do much. I would have told her sm more and a lot sooner if H didn't say things like "don't tell anyone", "I never said that", "you are such a crybaby/ you're so sensitive", -- basically any other phrase u can think of that a narcissist would say to their victim in order to believe they're helpless/ not worthy of help. She also threatened and said things that made me genuinely scared of her to the point where the thought of her being mad at me scared me more than getting in trouble with my mom. I did finally manage to tell my mom the full truth years after I stopped hanging out with H and after I found out what manipulation was.
Though I can remember around 10-15 specific instances of the abus3, I *know* there was *so* much more than that because I remember feeling uneasy, sometimes even terrified, almost every time, if not *every* *time* , we hung out.
And that thing u said about "everything in how I act, think and feel..."... Over the past few years I've been noticing so many things about myself, and realizing that sm of my defective personality could have been caused by H. And, I mean, I *have* to have maladaptive daydreaming (it's very hard to get an official diagnosis for it since it has only been defined fairly recently and still very little people know about it), and H is the only thing I can really think of that could have caused it.
If u read this whole thing, honestly thank u. Ik this was a very long rant but ur comment really made me feel less alone, so thank u. ❤
Sorry about this.. you are very strong and will get through this!
I had a horribly traumatic childhood. Terrible abuse. This video was great for me
This was so succinct--it cut right to the core of these problems. Wow, did number three really resonate with me! I have been working hard on re-programming these distorted beliefs about myself, and trying to nurture my wounded inner child. When triggered, I literally feel like my eight year old self--so angry, yet impotent at the same time! Thank you for validating that a harsh and critical childhood is tough and formidable to overcome.
Personally for me, I experience 1 and 2 in different ways. For childish reactions, I don't stomp when I get angry, but I do get very childish in good experiences. I'll bounce around or act impulsively, often looking back and thinking how annoying I just have been. I revert to these childish emotions because I didn't receive enough good experiences when I was growing up, so anytime I finally get have something I really like I'll see it through my younger self. And for number 2, I don't try to pull away or mistrust those around me, but I ignore red flags and stay in unhealthy relationships because I don't realise it isn't healthy. Childhood trauma effects everyone differently, so these are more just different outcomes, but I still thinks it's important to talk about
This video has made me decide to seek therapy. I need someone to really pry and talk to and get me to face my past trauma
I was diagnosed with bpd at 16. The issue is, they couldnt put it on my medical records until I was 18 because of the extremeness of the disorder. Those years with the knowledge but no support were the worst. Watching these videos make me feel a bit better about it all when I'm not on my mental health meds due to conflict with my physical health ones. Thank you for getting me through those years so I didn't feel so alone.
I also have BPD. It has made my life absolute hell especially considering I have to be very careful around my 8 year old son. I wouldn’t wish BPD on anyone 😓
@@iheartshaneandjeffree I hope you are doing well, and my best wishes. I bet you are brilliant mom ❤️
@@supernova8027 thank you so much 🥺🖤 sending love, light and healing to you 🖤
I teared up seeing this 🥺
The other night I was having a late night conversation with someone and she was venting about her childhood and it indirectly reminded me of my own and it had me thinking that I probably have more childhood trauma than I know about since it happened when I was so young. With that said I definitely relate to a lot of these points in the video and is something that hopefully one day I will feel comfortable addressing that trauma with a therapist (whether it be with my current one or different)
Thank you for this
I had a very traumatic childhood, and carried it all through my life. I developed anxiety and depression in my teens, which and went until I reached 67, and I had a complete breakdown, I was running away from it all mylife into my married life, my children are wonderful they always support me, my husband does he's to try to understand it. I got worse, I didn't want to take antidepressants but with the help of my Doctor and family I slowly recovered after 2 years of chronic depression and Axiety, to make a long story short, I was sent to councillor who wonderful and helped me through for over 2 months she talked me through everything I had been through from childhood to where I am now, happy contented, I know when to take care of myself and love myself. I am much stronger now. My counclier, Doctor and family saved my life.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong and will get through this!
As someone who does not like their parents at all, I do pretty much all of these, especially the risky behavior, like last year I had a habit of running away and going into dangerous areas at night, alone and unprotected, just to piss of cops and sometimes even see if someone would shoot me so that I wouldn't have to live with my parents. Now, it's reckless driving mainly, I have a habit of purposely treating the road like a race track
I definitely had those signs, I'm almost 27 now, a few years ago I started to think and ask myself questions about my memories, how I could've done better, what I struggle most with now is purely loneliness, that's my biggest issue, every night for the longest time I go home alone and to an empty bed, I'm aware that in this life we somewhat pick our poison, loneliness isn't the poison that I want.
@ The coobs: You could find a hobby and some(nice) people to share it with.I know it's difficult to meet good people and have nice friends!!! Sometimes is better to have PETS! They make great friends! Good luck!🐾💚😊
@@emerdigiorgio3594 You are in a good time in your life because of your age. Today, now , focus on you: your job and your life style. People will come into your life if you let them. Happiness is just around the corner - you just have to open your eyes and start the process.
Conflict avoidance was one for me. My father was a very loving man, but he had a harsh temper. In one church we grew up in, the elders were so strict, that my father was more prone to losing his cool to keep us in line and avoid controversy, which gave me a sense of moral stability, that was threatened when my father loosened up after we left. Then my father would clamp down even more so when I complained about the lack of strictness, or felt they were restraining me too much in certain areas. Low self worth: my father kept sending me conflicting messages. One moment, my father encouraged me to loosen up and we'd have fun, only to clamp down on me suddenly, because I violated another unwritten social rule due to my autism. Punishments included grounding (no computer or video games), so I began isolating myself, to avoid losing the computer and video game activity, and avoid getting in trouble again, since I got in trouble more often and was assigned more chores for being social. Also, other workplaces would cause me similar trouble, and I blamed it on my autism, or some moral deficiency, when in reality my supervisors were naive. Risky behavior: after my father died, I got drunk 3 weekends in a row. It only stopped because my mother had car troubles and I couldn't help her due to drunkenness, which upset her. A few years later, my sister upset me so much, that I experimented with weed 3 months straight. It was fun, but it did not solve my underlying problems. I ended up quitting weed and dealing with more of my problems head on, which has been helpful, albeit with some struggles.
I started crying after reaching 3:15
Yeah, I'm definitely traumatized. Can you make a video on healthy coping strategies or a video on how to heal from being emotionally neglected as a child?
If you are committed to the work I’d suggest plant meds from Peru. The jungle med is more well known, but the cactus also works. Combine that with good therapy and it’s powerful
I always feel dumb and dramatic when i think things like these happened to me. I was raised in a household where we were told that people with depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, etc, were just being dramatic. My parents mainly just made me feel like nothing i did was ever good enough. They also didnt respect my thoughts or personal space. If i complained about feeling sad, i was told that life wasnt fair and to suck it up. My parents also were very loving. I feel like i did have a good childhood but with subtle toxic parenting that we all just ignored. This is why i feel like i should just keep my feelings to myself. I feel like my feelings arent valid.
Oh I feel you 😢
Im currently a kid so idk if this applies to me but, this hit home for me
Thanks for making these. It's nice to feel that your not alone
I relate to all 5 of these signs. :o I never thought my childhood was that bad, but looking back it was pretty rough at times, and I was often scared. I still think I had a good childhood for the most part, but my parents were really harsh, mean and scary. I'm doing my absolute best to heal nowadays
How are you doing now?
You have the most soothing and beautiful speaking voice.
I suffered a very bad early childhood which caused major problems later. I held a lot of things in & tried to repress what was going on inside while on the outside showing a different picture because that was what was expected of me. Society doesn't deal well with problems of this nature. They prefer to prescribe medication which doesn't solve the problem & only masks the symptoms. I've helped myself more than the support I've received from professionals or personal friends, family. I'm actually not bitter or resentful because I feel some of the events in my life wouldn't have come about otherwise... but given the option I would not have chosen this path....
1. 0:48 - Childish reactions
2. 1:41 - Insecurities Attachment
3. 2:24 - Conflict Avoidance
4. 3:05 - Low self worth
5. 3:45 - Risky behavior
Being around my biological mother and siblings was extremely stressful early on because they were so open about it when upset over something. The abusive narcissistic parent who raised me hadn't allowed anyone to ever express negative feelings except her, we all had to be submissive to her demands or suffer, but it's the exact opposite with my bio-mum, her husband, and the siblings of mine they raised together.
The safety and comfort to express when something was wrong was something I didn't really get till adulthood, and it made me so overly self reliant that I would stay injured or reinjury myself a lot because even wounds were something I was expected to tend myself from an early age. It completely changed my perspective on 'loud' households, because as long as everyone is being heard and allowed to express themselves that can be healthier than those where no one is ever heard raising their volume, or it's just one person who gets to.
For the childish reactions or age regressions, i do that like when things are overwhelming or i get in a place where things get too much. I act like a toddler and sound like it. I called my friend for the first time and it was too overwhelming so i sounded like a little kid and they were weirded out..
All 5. Still trying to unlock the full memory of what my narcissistic mother did to me, during on particularly traumatizing event. I can almost recall momentary snippets, but cannot remember the event. I only remember the after effects: going from being an outgoing, friendly, confident, faithful and secure young girl to a shy, scared, introverted person who lied or said, "I don't know" all the time to keep from getting into trouble or dealing with answering questions. Using Bessel van der Kolk's teachings to help me.