Avoid Energy Drain from Toxic Family Members with Eckhart Tolle
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- 👉 How To Deal with Toxic Family Members Without Draining Your Energy
🎥 Our video today, is an eye-opening video that will give you everything you need to reclaim your identity and discover your inner peace, even if you come from a family with issues | toxic family members. Don't waste any more of your energy on toxic relationships; it's time for you to break away and grow. In this video, you discover effective communication strategies tried-and-true self-care approaches, and attitude improvements to help you manage difficult interactions with toxic family members. Learn how to express your needs assertively, set clear limits, and develop resilience in the face of hardship.
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🔔Credits: Very Special Thanks to
🎤 Speaker: Eckhart Tolle
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🔔 Who is Eckhart Tolle?
He is a well-known spiritual teacher, author, and speaker who is noted for his insightful teachings on presence, mindfulness, and spiritual awakening. His popular book "The Power of Now" has influenced millions of people, helping them to live in the present moment and attain inner peace. Tolle draws on a variety of spiritual traditions to provide practical guidance on transcending egoic thinking and embracing a more conscious and fulfilling way of existence. Eckhart Tolle has become a beacon of wisdom, inspiring people all over the world to live lives of greater awareness, joy, and spiritual harmony via his gentle and transforming teachings.
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The harm they do is so hard to forget and forgive...no contact seems to be the only choice.
It’s definitely tough to process the pain caused by others. Sometimes, taking a step back and creating that distance is the healthiest choice for your well-being.
@@dianneatay8643 someone wrote that trying to recover from emotional and/or physical abuse while still in contact with the abuser "is like trying to blow dry your hair in a rainstorm."
Yes. And the point is, if you lose trust and have to worry about the next attack, one might well conclude, why bother ?
I like to think of it as No Contact Lite.
it helps
We have 2 chances at family, the one we are born into and the one we create. Respect yourself enough not to be abused just because you were born into it.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful reminder! It’s important for everyone to understand the importance of self-respect and surrounding ourselves with positivity.
Id rather be alone and in peace than be around interering and toxic family members,my wwll being comes first.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to take care of yourself first.
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
@songfantasy670 Thank you for this very precious observation. I think you are making a very important point.
And probably Eckhart means that we are only free if we can support being around toxic people. But surely, in everyday life, we should surround ourselves by people who love, appreciate, and respect us. Otherwise, we would ruin our lives with this testing thing. In the end, we want to live our life, and not do test rounds! It is our life!
Excellent point. One way or another, we base our emotions toward somebody based on their actions, whether it's reality or what we want reality to be. We need to accept reality, and reality might be that we're not ready to maintain presence around toxic family members.
Eckhart has done post-doc studies and is a professor. I don’t know about y'all, but I'm just learning to be present with the functional people in my life.
Maybe we can’t be totally free until we can maintain presence around the toxic people in our lives, but learning to be free is a process. Maybe we'll get there. Maybe not. But I don't think it's a priority for many of us.
With my family, I left came back, was judge. I always was the odd one. I never did the right thing. Wrong hair, wrong pj, wrong underwear. Oh, the judgements… I left in 2023, for good. I feel so good. The agony is gone. I have forgiven, I love them. But I will not go testing myself with them again….
You have to forgive and move on so you can live. It's a draining process that will destroy you if u don't.Its sad but true!! ❤❤ Love and kisses to all of us who have been affected 🌼🌺🌼
Having had the experience of a toxic mother, I had the opportunity to try out different tactics in my relationship with her. I learned that deep down you can feel compassion even for a narcissistic person, but you shouldn't show it to them, because they will take advantage of you, as if you opened the door to your life again. Quite recently I shouted out all the negative, suppressed emotions related to this person (I was alone with myself) and in this way I honored my inner child and gave it the space to express itself that I didn't have as a child of narcissistic parents.
I truly appreciate you opening up about your journey. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve found ways to honor your feelings and your inner child. Keep embracing that growth!
❤
❤❤❤
I have taken two sisters out of my life, both bullies. One when I was forty the other when I was sixty. I have no regrets. One sister left is a great friend and a brother who writes often. I also have many good friends who make up for family.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to see how you’ve prioritized your happiness and built a strong support system.
I just can’t take the verbal criticism and disrespect any longer. My siblings are older and learned this behavior from my mother but they are very controlling human beings. Very disrespectful.. I asserted myself and told my sister she was being so disrespectful (as she was criticizing me) on my birthday and my sister picked up her purse and left. As she walked out the door, she said have a nice life. Rather be collaborative see my point of view, she becomes defensive. I’m supposed to just take their verbal abuse in order to stay in the family. I can’t take it any longer…I’m 66 and my sister is 72 and brother is 75.
i had a toxic sis to. i don't have contact with her. but i am brining presence into the fact of the past. and it doesn't get to me as much. sure i have some days i think about it and say i hate her. but i don't want to hold onto hate. but right now the best thing is to not have contact. if i were to tho that would be great opportunity for presence. i practice everyday dealing wth ppl. u cross ppl all the time with differetn energy. when u accept man it really does lift a weight off.
Much love and peace to you and yours
They don't know that they are trapped in it. As my therapist put it, "it's normal to them."
Thank you for sharing that insight from your therapist. It's always eye-opening to hear different perspectives.
Ditto.
A program that runs in their minds
true
It's hard when you hating you and being hostile as a gang is normal to them and they don't want peace but only to harm you for the rest of their miserable lives. They are Satan's agents.
He is absolutely correct. I was gone basically 30 years before I came back to live where I was born, reared, and grew up, and it was "the same old thing."
I stayed for nearly 5 years before I had had enough and relocated back to where life was better in every sense: Tennessee.
thank you for sharing your thoughts 💕✨💖
"Better get back to Tennessee, Jed." - Robert Hunter
I had the same experience
I am going through the same experience.
I’m sitting here with my 94 year old father in hospice. I wish I had found this message sooner❣️ I kept getting “Eckhart,” but silly me thought the message was for the benefit of my dad as he transitions. Boy, did I need this!!! Thank you for expanding my consciousness!!! Sending love, light & gratitude. 🙏😇💫
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt moment. It’s touching to hear that the message resonated with you. Sending you and your father love during this time.
It's not too late to really be with your Dad. To really love, really appreciate, really forgive, and to really forgive.
Even right before death, people hear well and understand a lot more than we realise.
I hope you will write back about this deep experience that you have created just in time to avoid greater regret.
I, in New Zealand, will be thinking of you both.❤
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you❣️ My father passed on 08/30. 💔
@@barbsmart7373 Thank you❣️ I learned so much!!! Two days before his transition we had the best three to four hours together. My dad returned to me and clarity was provided. The anger/pain previously expressed had nothing to do with me. While I knew it, I needed confirmation. Consequently, I released the fear and returned to love. I will cherish those moments for eternity. My father was larger than life. I chose well. Thank you for sending us love and light during this time. We remain in gratitude.
🙏😇💫
@@Nurturing2
I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Take care of yourself. 💔
"For that it's easy to forgive them because they don't know". ❤
Thank you for sharing that perspective! It's a reminder that sometimes, a little understanding goes a long way in fostering forgiveness.
There is nothing to forgive
I have no relationship with any of my family including my children. It's hard and sad...it's taken along time to not take it personally and also say to myself, What's wrong with me. Thank you Echart 🙏
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes courage to open up about these feelings, and I hope you find the support and healing you deserve.
I’m having a hard time forgiving but what he is explaining about being non reactive is what other people call “gray rocking”. I found it necessary to cut off their scapegoating me as their supply and go no contact. Maybe one day we can get along better or maybe I will stay no contact. But I’m on a different path as them and I am definitely wired different and that’s my punishment in a family of toxic people.
It sounds like you’ve taken some really important steps for your own well-being. Remember, prioritizing your mental health is crucial, and it’s okay to set boundaries with toxic people.
There was a quote I heard and the person I forgot his name but he said “ when we stop judging what we attract we stop attracting what we’ve judge.” But for me in everyone that “did something to me” or was toxic I had to admit that deep inside they were mirroring me in some type of way. The moment I stopped playing victim and called out what I attracted these individuals started disappearing. And we have to be careful not to keep bringing them up cause I find that people end up popping back up .
Thank you for sharing your insight and personal experience with us.
Yes!
They will pop back up!
@@WaxingGibbous170 Absolutely!!!!
I agree 💜
How did they mirror something in you ?
No contact is the correct answer
Thank you for pointing that out, sometimes a little distance can bring clarity and peace.
@@yourinnerchildmattersin highly narcissistic families, it is often best to make a complete and permanent break, I think.
If a very abusive and toxic/physical abuse situation, absolutely correct. However when you get much older, complete cutting off of relatives/parents; if it could be more you just be the more stoic one; observe and be conscious, and realise your parents sometimes are only doing what they were brought up/conditioned to act; this is the far better solution. Still set boundaries yes, but if the situation is a bit more grey, it will completely eat at you inside cutting people off. Otherwise you are missing the whole point of Eckahrts talk…to be merciful..
Great. No music would be good for deep concentration.
@@comba06 I appreciate your intention but narcissistic psychological abuse is as bad if not worse than physical abuse. It necessitates a complete and permanent break.
Nonreactive is right. My now deceased father made a remake which was designed to upset me. It was clear that he hadn't changed and thought I was the same.
I looked at him, turned my head, then turned my body, and walked away. As I was boarding my car, I see him peripherally staring and speechless. I entered my car, seat belt, ignition, and drove away.
That would be the last time that I would see him in reasonably good health. The next time he was incognizant due to ministrokes. I left his hospital room and never went back. 1.5 years later, I relocated back to Tennessee.
About 1 year after that, he passed away. I didn't return to Maryland for the funeral.
While he was my father and there is love there for that, our relationship lacked any real quality otherwise.
It sounds like you had a complex relationship with your father. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries.
Not complex if I understand your use of the word. In retrospect, it lacked depth ultimately because he did. Excluding ageing, he never changed. And while in some respects he was beginning to awaken, I would say easily 97% was the same.
The Buddha puts it this way: "Many will grow old in years and also grow old in vain."
That is a perfect example of my father.
You were recommended to me by a blind physicist on a train.
He wasn't wrong ❤ much love everyone
Thank you for sharing.
I'm sad to see how these awful people continue to get a pass for their behavior..what about the ones the leave abused and traumatized? who grow up to have kids, and sometimes it just keeps going..its just a cycle, a nasty cycle. That's why a therapist will always have a client list.
and..They do know...they don't care.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's important to shed light on these issues and work towards creating a healthier environment for all.
"not reactive around people With whom you share past" perfect words. O needed to hear those exact words
Thank you for your kind words! It means a lot to know the message connected with you!
I don't think any of us really know what love is, myself included because when my spouse doesn't meet my needs or act the way I what I think of what Eckhart says in the book TPON " See how love turns to hate almost over night" Is that REAL love? I guess " I " me and my pain body are just as bad as the toxic people I complain about. Only relatively different. Just my observation of myself today. PS. Thank you, Eckhart for opening my eyes this life time! xxoo Ava
Thank you for sharing such a deep reflection. It’s brave to look within and acknowledge our own complexities. Eckhart really does have a way of guiding us to new insights!
All the videos are of families smiling and laughing, which seems odd to me. Toxic family members aren't like that generally, after the first 2 minutes. The bullying begins pretty quickly and lasts much of the time one is there. They're delighted to rage and rant at you for an hour or more if they can get you alone, attempting to drag you into a fight or bully you into moving home so they can use you as an emotional punching bag and/or therapist and/or slave. It's not self-loving to go subject yourself to true toxicity. You can make a promise to your inner child to protect them from abusive people, and stand by that promise. As the family of origin often did not. If that includes avoiding abusive people, whether emotionally abusive or physically (or in any other way), so be it. Please take care of yourself so you can heal. I found quality energy healers who work via the quantum field helped a lot with recovering. (if anyone reading this is wanting faster progress)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s important to recognize and prioritize our mental health, especially when it comes to family dynamics. Taking care of yourself and setting boundaries is essential for healing.
Love This Guy ❤!!!
Thank you Eckhart!!!
It’s not about forgiving them it’s about how to fill the void within u
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's a valuable reminder to focus on self-care.
Agree! Keep the focus on our own healing.
it's about letting go. like turning off a light switch
Especially when I try to walk on a spiritual path and practicing méditation but impossible if I live with a toxic family. This is why I will live on my own
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's inspiring to see your dedication to your spiritual path.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you, the most difficult part is to sacrifice my lovely cat because I can't take her with me. It's ok. I'm ready to anything for living fully my life 🔥
@@Intensity764 that sounds very hard. it sucks when u have to leave something due to the toxic environment especially when u care of animals or lets say a niece of nephew ect. but your mental state is more important. wishing u the best
@@banderas2000 Exactly thank you very much 🙏
As others have mentioned: No need for added music; it is distracting. Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback, I'll keep that in mind for future videos!
Strongly agree!
I like the music
Totally agree...the cloying music along with the saccharine images of happy families that look as they are advertising something is very jarring
I like the music😊
A program that runs in their minds
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s amazing how our minds work and how we can create programs that reflect that complexity.
He is absolutely correct regarding presence with parents and why it's required even the more: the past, at least mine, is littered with a lot of painful experiences, painful words and actions that require one to be deeply rooted and grounded in mindfulness, otherwise, unconsciously you will think you are reliving one those events right then there and will react.
For me, after I saw that it was still the same old thing, I did the conscious thing and distanced myself, accepting that, parents or not, some people don't and will not change and I must make self-care the priority.
Consequently, I distanced myself and eventually relocated back to Tennessee, but with new insight and the fortitude that their presence in my life is not a requirement for my happiness 🙏
It's important to prioritize self-care and set boundaries in relationships that may be toxic or damaging. Your well-being should always come first.
Amen. Well said.
It's better to be healthy and alone than unhealthy with someone.
The primary lesson that I left with is this:
Just because they are family, it doesn't mean that the relationship is mutually beneficial.
I've been trying to change my own beliefs and see myself in this and am triggered by similar people!
It's hard to look within!
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to see others on their journey of self-discovery. Remember, you're not alone in this process!
I love how his message is so down to Earth and neutral, yet the piano tries to add a layer of drama. Made me laugh a bit. 😂
Yes, along with the B roll family shots spliced in 😅
@@TheBigdog868those were just actually painfully not representative of what myself and most folks coming to this video would have experienced
I’m having a hard time forgiving but what he is explaining about being non reactive is what other people call “gray rocking”. I found it necessary to cut off their scapegoating me as their supply and go no contact. Maybe one day we can get along better or maybe I will stay no contact. But I’m on a different path as them and I am definitely wired different and that’s my punishment in a family of toxic people.
Since he says he doesn't have kids, he doesn't know what it feels like to do everything that you can for your child and not be even respected and be verbally stabbed in the heart over and over in a life time repeating pattern. How much such abuse must one endure under the banner of loving parent?
It's true that parenting can be an incredibly challenging journey, often filled with heartbreak and struggle. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to seek support from those who understand the complexities of being a loving parent.
People, including children, will treat you the way you allow. Sometimes as parents, we can do too much for them. It is as harmful as not doing enough. Find a balance. You can love, care and support unconditionally, but this does not include accepting abusive/disrespectful behaviour. ❤
I can totally relate to what you wrote.
There is a space in you that knows, whatever they do or say, you will not be affected. Find that and be that.
I spent a wonderfull time with my unconscious wealthy parents who aged and no longer felt a need to judge, and were just needing my unconditional love and compassion after over 30 years of absence.. ❤
Thank you for sharing such a touching experience. Family bonds are truly special.
You cannot FORGIVE someone who never changes their BEHAVIOUR
Forgiveness is not for them or based on them changing their behavior. It's for your consciousness.
Forgiveness means accepting their level of consciousness. It's no longer personal. It doesn't mean you have to stick around bad behaviour.
You absolutely can and should. I had given up my mother, thought she was incapable of change. Then her mother died and something opened up in her. Then I realized an important truth: Never judge anyone too harshly because 5 years from now they may be enlightened.
So think on it then change your behaviour in some way and see what happens.
@@annemurphy8074👍🏻
Forgive is for the forgiver,
I forgive myself for stay too long, for not knowy what I was dealing with.
Forgive mean accept them for who they are, mean you don't require them to change nor do or stop doing someting,
It doesn't mean accepting how they treat you.
It mean, leave them with their behaviour. you left them and their deeds behind, where it belong.
Focus on what you want ;
Where you focus on, energy flow. Grow.
Thank you. It starts with forgiveness. To reach a state where you can love them how they are and be non reactive is what I strive for. Understanding they are trapped in their behavior. This helps me truly understand where they are. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s always inspiring to hear how others prioritize forgiveness and understanding. You're definitely on the right track!
Please don't take this as a criticism but rather something constructive - for a very brief few moments between the end of one music track to the beginning of another, it sheer bliss and I think others may have thought the same way.
Perhaps there's something to learn in that ❤❤❤
Never complain ... Never explain ... My life = my rules.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It’s a powerful reminder to stay true to ourselves and live authentically.
Thank you so much sir Eckhart Tolle in this very moment i forgive my whole family and the whole world for they just don't know i am pure compassion i love the whole humanity.❤🙏
Thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective! It’s inspiring to see you embody such positivity and forgiveness.
I had a very good family. It was not toxic.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's always refreshing to hear about healthy family dynamics.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you. Yes, I guess some of us come from families that get on well, and sadly some come from families where there is much argy-bargy. It's the lottery of life.
@@Pedro-s4k3y Thank you too. It's true, some of us are lucky to have peaceful families, while others face more challenges. Life can be unpredictable, but I appreciate your words and the support you offer. 🙏
Thank you really helps seen this within my birth family feel like drifting further away the healthier ive become had so many toxic behaviours that worked on changing within myself. What I couldnt see is now very clear patterns playing out . I have become none reactive just have firm boundaries and time with them.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's inspiring to hear how you're prioritizing your health and growth.
@@yourinnerchildmatters we can all only change ourselves long journey to realising this. Thank you for your kind response
Another lovely attempt from our "Inner child", but clouded by Eckhart's mystical charm. Our "nuclear" families or even rarely assembled "extended" families of origin are mere recent artifacts of our ancestral clan social structures, in which our Hunter-Gatherer ancestors thrived for tens of thousands of years when we were "conditioned" right down to the gene level for success in the natural environment, now long gone. We are fish out of water and our disconnected, alienated nuclear families of the diaspora are the closing chapter in the human experiment. What could go wrong? Everything? Stress R Us
I have to close my eyes while listening to this because the random video clips distract me. But thank you!
Sorry about that
"Forgive them because they don't know"... ❤❤❤
"Thank you so much for watching. Yeah, Forgiveness is a powerful virtue that allows us to let go of negativity and find peace within ourselves. It's true, sometimes people may not fully understand the impact of their words or actions, but by forgiving them, we can choose love over resentment. Let's continue spreading compassion and understanding in this world.
Sending you lots of love and gratitude! ❤️❤️❤️
from Your Inner Child Matters
Bless u ❤️ much love 🎉
This is the part that stood out to me the most. They don't know ... :(
Sure they never know?
Maybe some sometimes hurt others because it's their own free will. Because beside of our conditionings and genes we probably have a free will.
Bullshit! They know.
Forgive them, for they don't know any better.
And also know when to get away permanently.
Adding music really spoils this.
I appreciate your input, I'll consider it for future videos.
This video was created by "Your Inner Child Matters." There is little to no music in Eckhart Tolle's original videos.
The background music needs to be lower it is overbearing the speaker
Please dont add music! It takes away from listening, thank you.
(People can add their own….)
Yes please Eckhart
Your voice is perfect
The most peaceful vehicle for your messages
I too find the music very distracting from - your message 🙏💖
This is not Tolle’s website,. It could be editing done by the person who owns this RUclips channel.
Also it’s not about forgiving anyone
It’s about what to do with the pain they gave you
The pain keeps you reminded of them and keeping the cord attached
Thank you for sharing your perspective on forgiveness and pain. It's important to acknowledge and address the emotions caused by others.
I think forgiving yourself might be an access point to cutting that cord 🤔🤔
That piano!!!🙄
Very illuminating, thank you. I feel the video is distracting. The brain is focused on concentrating on what' s being said. At the same time, the video is telling a story, and the brain is being distracted with two different directions.
not reacting was not the solution in our family, it only increased being neglected and disrespected
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Still The question inside keeps posing: couldnt they just choose to love me ?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's important to remember that love can't always be chosen, but your worth is not defined by others' choices.
This was very reassuring.
Thank you for your kind words!
interesting how I know someone that "follows" Eckhart, but they are so self absorbed and incapable of acts of compassion--though they talk a good talk, no walking the talk. I am not so evolved that I can be around them--it's too heartbreaking. Deceiving oneself has got to be one of the worst forms of hell. I have compassion but not the strength to see that.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize those dynamics, and it's a reminder for all of us to strive for authenticity in our actions.
How to know when to leave toxic family?
The fact that you are asking
Means pull away slowly....
Use the psychiatric riule of 3
Is a clear way to know when to pause or emd a relationship with anyone.
@MjF809 he says awakening only happens in difficult situations so I am confused if you stay in toxic environment and grow spiritually or leave the toxic environment.
@@Rajjo15 i have the same problem, but also i am unemployed currently and also ill so that is the one more reason for me to not leaving. I just want to say that u are not alone and u will have to face problems wherever you go or whatever you choose to do and u will also grow , but it is up to you what kind of problems you want to face and grow yourself that way. For example family or any other person out side both can be toxic so it is up to you what you want to face , what kind of situation you want to handle both can be a lesson for you🙏
So what i gathered from this is essentially, i need to start treating my trouble making small minded step Dad like he is in a mental health insitution and am his carer. 😂 thats the polite way and in all honesty that would be much better for our relationship. Humor him and go along with it, and at the same time feel sorry for him 😂
Thanks for sharing your perspective on handling the situation with your stepdad.
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
Exactly! @@songfantasy670
I'd really like a deeper understanding of this one. Parts are clear and other is unclear and requires more clarification.
The music really gives this message traction, doesn't it? Thank you 💙
Anyone who knows the cat knows that the silence between his words is everything. What are you doing with the piano!!!!?
Parents be like... It does make sense or not.... But we're right 🤥
In India they say, we are born with certain “ Sanskars “ ( values or personal traits)from previous births.. That’s why even some babies behave differently strange.
Thank you for sharing such an interesting perspective! It’s always enlightening to hear different viewpoints on the significance of our values and traits.
Very very beautiful and intelligent talk.
Your appreciation means a lot to me, thank you!
No contact is the only solution. Narc mom not a good thing to be around. Energy vampire
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s important to recognize what we need for our well-being, and your insight can help others in similar situations.
@@yourinnerchildmatters wow! Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time for this thoughtful comment. As you know we all lack self worth. And it came out yesterday with my ifs therapy that no one ever listened. It makes you feel good to help others and be acknowledged
@@millionairemom Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm really glad you found something meaningful in my comment. It’s tough when you feel like no one has truly listened to you, but it’s a big step that you’re working on it through therapy. Remember, your feelings and experiences matter. I’m here to support you, and it means a lot to me that you feel acknowledged. You deserve to be heard and valued. Keep taking care of yourself, and know that you’re not alone on this journey.
"Being free of the ego".....people who think the ego is a bad thing don't understand that the ego is necessary to live this life. A healthy ego allows you to know you're not the other. People with narcissistic personality disorder have a broken ego, they don't experience the self. That's why they are in desperate need of others but in an extremely unhealthy and damaging way. People should stop saying "boo the ego is bad".
Thank you for sharing such insightful thoughts! It's refreshing to see someone emphasize the importance of a balanced ego in our lives.
@@yourinnerchildmatters ❤
What about CHILDREN, stuck in this loop of PROBLEM PARENTS and their TOXIC parenting????
Thank you for uploading this video. Eckhard has been always my best remedy. Could you please tell me the title of the piano piece on BGM.
I would like to play it myself❤
I'm so glad you enjoyed the video! The piano piece in the background is called "River Flows in You" by Yiruma. It's a beautiful piece to play!
Is it possible to forgive parent for her continuous harming behaviour? She is manipulative
Dear TheScapegoatedMiddleDaughter,
Thank you for sharing your personal experience and reaching out on this delicate matter. I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with such a challenging situation. Forgiveness can be a complex and deeply personal process, especially when it comes to forgiving a parent who has consistently displayed harmful and manipulative behavior.
I believe that it is important to remember that forgiveness is a journey that varies from person to person. It's not a requirement, and it's okay if you're not ready or able to forgive your parent at this moment. Your emotional well-being should always be your priority, and sometimes establishing boundaries or seeking professional help can be part in dealing with manipulative behavior.
And the decision to forgive or not forgive is yours alone. It may be helpful to engage in self-reflection, seeking therapy or counseling, to understand your feelings and explore the opportunities for healing and growth. Remember that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the harmful behavio, it's about finding peace within yourself.
Remeber that you're not alone in this journey. There are support networks and communities available to provide guidance and empathy. Surrounding yourself with understanding and compassionate individuals can make a significant difference in your healing process.
I wish you courage, clarity, and a willingness to manage this difficult situation with self-care and resilience.
Take Care,
Your Inner Child Matters
If you dont mind, i want to add how forgiveness works. True forgiveness is when you go beyond the conditioning of your mind and the other person condioned mind and realize that you and that person who wronged you are one and not separate. That means you don't confuse what the other person do with who they truly are. Who they truly are is already inseparable from who you are( you are one). What they did to you is a form of unconsciousness which they couldn't help it themselves and they were completely trapped in their conditioned mind. they couldn't act beyond their level of consciousness. When people talk about forgiveness, they literally approach it on the mind level and i don't personally fault them for that because on the mind level, its a never ending cycle of trying with effort to forgive someone over and over again and it seems impossible. By simply transcending your mind the other person conditioned mind and not confusing who they truly are with their behaviours , you bring peace within yourself and that's true forgiveness and its natural and organic and you dont have to acquire it on the mind level because you are the forgiveness . In other words we can say there is nothing to forgive because forgiveness is what you are in your true nature. The moment you stop believing the narrative in your head about people or situations, thats acceptance and This does not mean you should approve what the other person did to you or continue to like what the other person does, you can allow your conditioned mind to do its own thing without identifying with it. You recognize that whatever is happening, whether good or bad is just part of the whole. Dont even try to force yourself to forgive someone, because that would be your mind. Remember who you really are and you are not your mind. The moment you realize that, forgiveness happens naturally without effort.
That brings me to next question, if these toxic people are doing these horrible things to others , are they responsible for this?
Whether they are responsible for this or not, this does not mean they dont suffer the consequences of their actions which in this morden age is called karma. They do suffer the consequences of their actions and that suffering will lead to an awakening for them.
Hope this helps❤❤✌
As long as you feel hurt you won’t feel like forgiving even if you try to force yourself to a forgive her. Taking care of your wounded self, going through the pian, and acquiring new emotional resources (healthy self esteem) will allow you to have the enough amount of detachment to be able to forgive easily.
Yes but at a distance. You have to protect youself first. Do not put yourself in positions that are mentally emptionally harming
If theres a way to move or change the place with maybe putting limits please do but if no try to learn how to accept to shift the energy inside you so the outside shifts all peace all love
They do no know so it is easy to forgive Them!
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful comment! It’s always nice to see others embrace the power of forgiveness.
I love him
No question, Eckhart Tolle has given us much, his thoughts on the power of now and of a higher level of consciousness and being are invaluable. However, he doesn't understand how the mind works. "Consciousness" is in a quiet state, seeing what is, the mind is in a state of wonder. The mind is composed of clear thoughts and confused thoughts. Eckhart is aware of the confused part and doesn't realize that Jesus communicated with God mind to mind, with clear, and true thoughts.
I appreciate your insights on Eckhart Tolle's work!
Thank you 👓
thanks for watching
There always have existed people who had propensity for awareness, regardless of their demographic and conditioning. It’s not a new concept. Nor is the modern era more “evolved”. The human race births such members randomly and all across its many “cultures” as they are needed for survival and evolution of the species. The new age movement is not the significator of such people existing or evolving. Human nature is. One may or not be lucky to have one or both such parents- and even so, only oneself can grow and evolve from inside out, in which case adversity is the ultimate blessing and the ultimate teacher, much more so than any “aware” parent can be. The individual who chooses to grow will end up doing so regardless of their circumstances and will gravitate towards the collective human knowledge of how to do so. When the student is ready - the teacher appears. And yes, for some people these teachers can be their natural parents.
Your comment adds depth to the discussion on human nature and growth. It's great to see such thoughtful insights being shared.
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
You raise some excellent points! It's important to balance personal growth with maintaining a healthy environment. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can truly make a difference in your well-being.
To be where you can be natural and stress free, and not always have to make effort, and get hurt, and make effort, and get hurt, and devise ways to care for someone while keeping well yourself. No matter what you do, what your intentions are, no matter how many gifts I buy, to be told I'm wrong, I've not done anything, everyone else, all my cousins, all the maids, are better than me, I am the only one bad, how can I say I'm blessed.....I don't know the reason, and I don't know what to do. I watch the hurt when I remember. Most times I'm pulled in, and become like her.
I do not agree. Bless your heart for trying Mr. Tolly . I think your didn’t experience child abuse or do not come from a toxic family. For many of us we have to remove ourselves from our family because the pain they caused us. No one should have to put up repeatedly with any ones abuse. You can go to therapy and work on your self and eventually you can forgive but not forget. You deserve to be happy and thrive you can do it look for help 💗 NAMI
I appreciate your perspective and understand that everyone's experience with family dynamics is unique. It's important to prioritize your mental health and seek the support that works for you.
The music is too loud!
Hard to get away because I’m dependent on them
I appreciate you sharing your feelings. It's important to acknowledge when we feel dependent on something.
Work hard towards your independence.
How do I deal with really loud music over the speakers voice? How do I deal with lots of library video footage and loud piano?
Right!!! 👍
Absolutely correct. This video is destroyed by the music. I do not understand why anyone feels it great to do this.
Nice to accept them as they are but what about putting boundaries? He just want to be in his head and leave me all the "work" to do in the house... he makes tons of dishes and he wants me to clean it and store it, and help him to do this or that... always him him him... and I end up not having any time left for my own needs and creativity... and tired! ps I am 75 yrs old and he is 8 yrs younger!
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s so important to recognize our own needs, especially when we’re giving so much to others. I hope you find a way to balance things out and carve out some time for yourself.
Why background music? Why so hight? I would like to understand.
Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate your curiosity and will consider adjusting the volume in future videos.
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you
@@lizielita likewise
@@yourinnerchildmattersadjust the volume to 0. It is totally unnecessary, it drowns out Elkhart’s voice and ruined the video. Sorry if my comment sounds harsh to you but you are playing music for your own pleasure and no one else.
Forgiveness is a tricky thing, because it's deeply personal. It's not always possible, safe, or self-loving to forgive, and forgiveness should not just be prescribed as a 'rule', or viewed as a necessary for our healing. Personally, I'm not interested in forgiveness. It's a red herring, and a distraction from the work we need to do to survive the injury caused. We will not find peace while we focus our attention and energy on the other. It's most often ourselves we need to forgive. Selling forgiveness as the essential, necessary route to recovery, is ill advised. People might SAY they forgive, hoping for salvation, when they are not ready, or it's not an appropriate situation to be forgiving.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly understand that forgiveness is a very personal and complex journey. It’s important to recognize that forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel right or safe for everyone. Healing looks different for each of us, and focusing on our own well-being is what truly matters. Your perspective highlights how important it is to honor our own feelings and experiences. I appreciate your honesty and the wisdom you’ve shared here. Take care. 🌟
From which of his talks is this?
One of those few whose parents are relatively conscious 😂😂😂
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! bless you
whas is the original video of this?
Fascinating
Thank you for the kind comment! I appreciate it
If it's real inner peace , it will not be disturbed by family members or anyone or anything else .
if your inner peace has requirements to maintain itself ,then it is not peace but the absence of conflict .
Real inner peace is that which all things appear inside of.
The relative field is not an obstacle to realizing inner peace as they are nothing more than the manifest version of the un manifest consciousness awake to itself . there are no obstacles , only the belief that manifestations are obstacles to that which they appear in .
Thank you for sharing such profound insights! It’s always refreshing to see others who understand the deeper aspects of inner peace.
I want to hug you! You get in and I hope you are living it! As hard as tat is! xxoo Ava
❤
It’s been a long time since I listened to Tolle.)
Thank you very much! 😊
〰️➿➰😘
Same ☺️👍💓
Thank you for watching
thank you forwatching
Sometimes the real human being is even worse than his/her external conditioning.
Our ancestors had not this much freedom of speech like today. They didn’t have time for awakening.. Religion and politics had many restrictions.
I'm grateful for the opportunities we have today to discuss and debate important topics openly.
Musik stört extrem
Beautiful video, beautiful music ❤
Thanks for watching!
I totally disagree. These people, so called parents and siblings... they know exactly what they are doing. To say they dont know, is saying they dont know, right from wrong. They choose evil
Hollywood has changed the psychology of modern generation. 50s and 60s had different ways of thinking.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It's interesting to see how media and entertainment can shape our beliefs and behaviors over the decades.
can I ask how so? (as one of the younger generation)
❤️❤️❤️
thanks for watching
you’re welcome 🫠…. I had a RUclips moment in the middle of my cleaning. Eckhart is truly amazing. His humor 2 even if he didn’t show it in this video 😂🙏🏽🥰
Here is an example that just came back regarding their conditioning. Long story short:
My surrogate brother said something to me out of surprise regarding my attire. My response was, more or less, that was applicable when I was a child.
Later, I thought about it and concluded that, if he still thinks that I think like that (when I was a child), what does that say about the way that he thinks now?
So when he says that they are trapped in it, he is absolutely correct.
It's interesting how our past experiences shape our perceptions. Thanks for sharing!
Absolutely correct. And if we don't become aware of that, we will remain in that mode all of our lives. That's not hypothetical. I have seen it with my own eyes.
25 years had past since I last saw this one guy. In those 25 years, I had served in the military, was discharged, earned a B.A., an M.A., would have my doctorate if I had chosen to finish but had a career change, state employee now and when I saw him 25 years later. Have a good and self-sufficient life.
What was he doing? The same old thing: leaning on this walk and watching traffic go by. Watching the sun come up and watching the sun go down.
True story.
What is the name of the piano song in the middle?
It is: no hay dios tan grande como tu, commodore herky
This vid cant help someone with narcissistic environment
I hate my stupid sister and her horrible emotionally cold annoying spoilt brat of her daughter shalini. They are the worst n don't realise how badly they treat me n make me feel upset n hurt all the time
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds very tough to deal with those feelings and the situation with your sister and her daughter. Remember, it's okay to feel upset. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. Take care of yourself. ❤️
The music is intrusive, distracting… as if Tolles words were not good enough. Whose ego is adding this horrible, unnecessary musical accompaniment???!
Thank you. That's completely true! ❤
"They are manifesting their conditioning."
And ultimately, that's all it is, and you don't change what you think is normal. Why should you?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's interesting to see different perspectives on conditioning. bless you
some replies deleted. why?❤
❤
thanks
Please leave out the piano
I appreciate your feedback! I’ll definitely consider your request for future videos.