What You Don't Understand About Being Cheated On Until You've Lived Through It
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- Опубликовано: 1 ноя 2019
- After being cheated on, you may be surprised at the reaction by those around you. That's often because being cheated on is something you simply can't understand unless you've lived through it.
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As someone whose been cheated on (more than once) it’s not something that ever goes away. It creeps into so many aspects of your life and makes you question everything and everybody. Even friendships come into question as to whether they’re authentic or not. 5 years since separating from my ex and it still affects my reality today.
this is SO TRUE!!! If you have never faced this, do not judge the betrayed spouse, EVER!!! period! There is a pain that the cheater will NEVER understand!!!
Yes it scrambles the brain.
Very well said. When the person you trusted the most with your heart, with your trust, with your life, shatters every fiber of your being with their unfaithfulness, it is very hard to unscramble your mind and refocus on life. It's even harder when you make the decision to stay with them and they still don't reconnect or care about what they did to you. Still have to wonder why I have gutted it out trying to keep this marriage together by myself when my unfaithful wife still keeps her distance. I think it's most likely because of my 3 kids and how I am trying to keep my sanity together for them and praying that somehow, some way my wife and I can reconnect again! This is my prayer.
Hoping things are well CJ
@@blueseptember2174 divorce hearing set for Jan. 25. I tried my best and she handed me the divorce papers the day after Thanksgiving. I even told her I wanted to keep trying but she said no.
@@c.j.9248 I hope you take this as caring as I mean it, but I'm glad she did. I was sad at your first post 3 yrs ago and thought you were in for worse from staying w/ her. No signs of regret, and staying for the kids might not have been best for anyone.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 yes, it's almost been one year since the divorce (Jan. 25) and she has since gotten a new job and moved 850 miles away. I am still living in the same town as my youngest son. Not the way I had prayed for 6-plus years, but it is what it is. Trying now to make the best of life as a single man for the first time in nearly 30 years. I sink nearly all my time into work and found a solid men's group to be in.
@@c.j.9248 So her affair, or you finding out was around 6 yrs ago? It sounds like she maybe stayed 2 or so years after. Was she a Christian too? You obviously are a praying person and it gave you hope for awhile. I have him one chance when I found out too, praying the whole time. I don't blame God, as I knew everything was contingent on his free will. He chose to squander the chance I gave him. I can't get my head around condensing my story now.
You look young in your posted picture to have been married 30 yrs, though you may have an older pic like I do on my fb. I wouldn't post a current pic until I gain a bit of weight back. I was around 140 when the affair happened, and my weight has plummeted to around 109. My family is pretty concerned about the drastic weight loss. I've always eaten, but it never seems to be enough. It's only a month and a half since I drove him out.
Still going through this process because my husband refuses to let the other woman go.
Praying for you that respect grew in that relationship between you two.
“Ignorant compassion”. Perfect
this makes me feel so understood and seen 😔
😳AFTER A 20 YEAR MARRIAGE ENDING IN "ADULTRY", I'M "STILL" RECOVERING AFTER 11 YEARS! "PEOPLE" THINK I SHOULD "BE HEALED" BY NOW... "WRONG"!!!😳(They don't "GET IT" because they've never "BEEN THROUGH IT!")😒
Had been cheated on by a boyfriend or two in college… but as a wife and mother - whole different level.
I might have briefly felt homicidal, catching them returning to their cars in a lot… had our littles not been with me in the car I could have given in to temptation. Thank God I didn’t.
Catching her picture on his phone and their social media exchanges - or rather having my sister’s husband inform me of the heat of their exchanges… made me want to rip the gal’s hair out or gauge her eyes. She knew he was married with children.
But she hadn’t made any commitment to me. So I really had no beef with her. I was fighting on behalf of my kids for their father. A father it feels we can’t live with and wouldn’t get along without, respectively.
She might have taken a battle, but I’m winning the war, with Christ’s help. The lord bears forgiveness and requires it.
Thank you for your perfect expression and clarity on this subject. The lies are the worst, shaking everything you believed to be good about your partner. It is hard to understand how cruel and disturbed they are. What happened to the beautiful man I thought I knew. It is a real eye opener but I really get that it is their issue or stuff and not mine. Deep down they know how dysfunctional and broken they are
You are so right. Our brains tend to accept this easier than our hearts.
You are right the lies are worse. I found out about the affair 6 months ago and am still struggling. Gave him a second chance. He trying to the best but the triggers always get my way.
Great video Lisa!
Good points.
If you get cheated on and have discovered that you were cuddling a snake, don't dismay or breakdown, rather celebrate because that snake doesn't deserve you walk away otherwise you would end up getting HIV aids
You think the interest in the affair partner, when unknown, is bad? Try already knowing three of the four and being on really friendly terms with one of them for over the year and a half of the cheating. Talk about memories being thrown into a tornado
Every word spot on.... I've been cheated on a few times..... had a wall built up around my heart and maybe that is why.. but my current wife I didn't build even a little one around from day one... And after seven years of being together four of them being married I was murdered of what I thought I was... We are still together and the tug of war of emotions that are always going on is tiresome.... I want to be at piece with myself like I used to be.... But it nearly seems impossible with this war i have going on inside of me... Can you give me some advice on how?
You are genius 👍❤
I guess some guys just don't know how good they have it. Lord knows I'd be over-the-moon ecstatic if Lisa was my significant other!