10 Things That Destroy A First Impression Immediately
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- Опубликовано: 5 июн 2024
- Are you struggling to make a good impression on a date, a meeting, or a job interview? Small mistakes can make or break a first impression. Once you’ve made a bad impression... it’s difficult to undo the damage you’ve done. Luckily, you can learn how to make better first impressions. But first, you have to figure out what you’re doing wrong. So, let’s talk about 10 common mistakes that are ruining your first impressions right off the bat.
If you want to learn more about the 7 Psychological Things That Can Make Us Less Attractive, check it out here: • 7 Psychological Things...
#firstimpressions #psych2go
Writer: Tristian Reed
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Faye Miravalles
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Bernieri, F. J., & Petty, K. N. (2011). The influence of handshakes on first impression accuracy. Social Influence, 6, 78-87.
Brooks, A. W., Gino, F., & Schweitzer, M. E. (2015). Smart people ask for (my) advice: Seeking advice boosts perceptions of competence. Management Science, 61, 1421-1435
Huang, K. et al. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(3) 430-452.
Jones, E. E., & Pittman, T. S. (1982). Toward a general theory of strategic self-presentation. Psychological perspectives on the Self, 1, 231-262.
McFarland, D. A., Jurafsky, D., & Rawlings, C. M. (2013). Making the connection: Social bonding in courtship situations. American Journal of Sociology, 118, 1596 -1649
Uleman, J. S., Saribay, S. A., & Gonzalez, C. M. (2008). Spontaneous inferences, implicit impressions, and implicit theories. Annual Review of Psychology, 59, 329-360.
What are the things people have done that ruined your first impression of them? Comment below!
When I see somemone mis treating someone or being rude because to me it shows they think they're above everyone else etc.
I'm the second to reply wow and my bros GF did and does all these
When they talk behind other people's back, thinking it would start off a great conversation
Being mean
forgetting names
10 Things That Destroy A First Impression Immediately :-
1. You show up late.
2. You forget their name.
3. You use filler words.
4. You interrup people repeatedly.
5. You avoid eye contact.
6. You only talk about yourself.
7. You answer your phone.
8. You complain too much.
9. You tell long stories.
10. You don't ask questions.
Thanks
Thanks
Thanks
Thanks
Super G honestly I enjoy it when people tell long stories, it’s interesting
"Things that ruin a first impression"
1. My social anxiety
Relatable, even if I don't know if I have it for sure
Same. Also I’m autistic and have ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder.
Autism and anxiety are a curse given by nature herself
1. My face
@Burnt Toast I relate to this too much
Title:exists
Me:memories are flooding back
Edit:where the hell are you guys coming from?
• Cloudii Cutie • dude same
I found a fellow ace! :o
Hope you have a nice day
Same....
same
Right?
Mistreating someone should definitely make the list.
exactly!
@@SoumyaMehtalove Glad you agree.
That is obvious.
This list seems to cover the ones which may not seem significant but actually mean a lot....
@@pilosopher974 Yes. Agreed.
This is so true! Thanks for sharing that! Have you personally experience this before during a first meeting with someone?
''You avoid eye contact''
Alrighty then, next time I meet someone new I'll stare right at their souls.
Thats all it takes
Remember, no blinking
😂
#11 ....staring right at someones soul
Wear rapist glasses and practice the thousand-yard stare. Most people can't resist that. (Body odor helps, too.)
"You avoid eye contact"
Me with social anxiety: *sweating nervously* heheh
Oof same kiddo
Ah so true man, I don't know how people do it. And even more, with women!!!
That's exactly what I thought 😞
Maja J
Me with Asperger’s: *Haha, I’m in danger.*
yes :(
Like I'd ever make an impression lmao.
Not with that attitude
Too shy?
X2
😁
I'm too ugly to even get a chance (no joke)
No one :
P2g : literally making everyones quarantine 10000 times better
Thank you! We hope this video helped you in some way :)
Psych2Go of course !
Really, I never feel happy after listening to facts. U either are the happiest person or just getting u know
@@Psych2go No it's the truth !!! Because all of your videos are about social relationships but. Most of your fans are socially awkward :D in quarantine we know we don't have to be social :' )
You spelled house arrest wrong..... Quarantine is for the sick not the healthy....
10 common mistakes that are ruining you first impressions:
1. You show up late 0:42
2. You forget their name 1:10
3. You use filler words 1:48
4. You interrupt people repeatedly 2:22
5. You avoid eye contact 2:44
6. You only talk about yourself 3:14
7. You answer your phone (during conversation) 3:40
8. You complain too much 3:58
9. You tell long stories 4:24
10. You don't ask questions 4:44
Use the time signatures from the video to understand these mistakes, I hope this comment helped!❤✨😊
Thanks!
Maxine Moore Thank you! :o
Thank you! :)
I do alll of them ... destroyed!! 🤣😭
They do, I notice you have put them in other videos in this series and it helps me to refer to them by number when composing my thoughts, thankyou
I never judge people if they forget my name, I've done it multiple times myself, when interacting with many people it's totally normal to forget. It makes a strong impression when somebody remembers your name right off the bat though! Some people are lucky and can remember so much random information with little input!
I like this approach.
Even after I say it out loud, the memory is gone 5 seconds later
I don't think that it's luck that enables people to remember random info. They probably consistently train their memory
Listen. I found a metal band with about 120 songs and memorized every single name of the songs and all of the lyrics in a month. I can easily remember a single name
Phone Guy serioisLy for some people trying to remember things like names is like telling someone with two broken legs to just try harder and you can run a 4 min mile, casts and crutches are just an excuse!!!
Me trying to have a good first impression: So, let's talk about pretzels
Dude Pretzel’s are delicious I can’t eat them anymore since I’m allergic to gluten and I miss them SO MUCH
@@sjfrench8034 damn thats sad
@@sjfrench8034Talk about a twisted fate
I would literally be your friend if you said that to me i hate stupid regular small talk
@@charlee8534 same
When you see the title and you realize you screwed up....
*but then you realize you can use the information positively*
One that always throws me every time is when the person 'listens' only to reply. They have absolutely no intention of absorbing what you just said, especially if it's something serious. They wait for you to finish so they can steam roll the conversation the way they want to..'
Example:
Me : "-So that's why I'm afraid of dogs..."
Person : "Mmm. You know one time I met this dog and he was so cool, he-"
ughhhhh....
i only do that when i'm talking to people i don't really like and i don't want to continue the conversation. tbh it happens on its own
ohmygod i remember so many people 🙄
I have social anxiety so it’s hard to have a conversation with someone so I listen to key words and try to come up with a personal story.
Im guilty of this fersure, not because I don’t wanna pay attention but bc sometimes I get tired & zone out but I don’t wanna be rude so with what I was able to take in I reply with.
Ah these people.... I swear I'm filled with such people around me
“Like” is like my only vocabulary tbh
I know like I use the word like so like much.
Like, same
Omg! Why do I like relate to this like so much like frrr!
So, um, and awesome , are my overly used verbal fodder.
"Like is *like* my only vocabulary"
Yeah, i believe you
Me, questioning how I still have friends since I do about 80% of this list.
Cause people don't know how to communicate now in days so they don't know bad communication when they are faced with it until they get hurt. I hope you change after this video to be a better friend
What do you plan to do next after realizing this?
@@Psych2go I honestly do not know. I am already working on myself since a while now tho.
Me questioning why i dont have friends and do nothing on this list 😮
@@jonathanbarragan6256 Maybe you're scared away from making an impression at all. That's actually worse for you than making a bad impression sometimes in your honesty about yourself.
I've often made an impression, where someone isn't sure if they want to be nice or hit me... but we end up having a great time because I undermine "rules" like these. I go against the grain, and the people I meet realize they can be freed of social pressures, too. They get to relax and just be themselves, and in cases where our friendship might not be "a good fit", we can work toward "measured doses" of each other, or just move on... as needs be.
You should look toward making an impression, for better or worse. At least they take notice. ;o)
First impressions are destroyed by the biases of the perceiver as much as how you actually behave, Infact sometimes more.
Great suggestions
Being rude and negative is another one that should be on the list.....
No shit, Sherlock!? (I now you like me now.)
The negative one especially, for me it’s really easy to notice people being depressingly negative. I have a pessimistic nature and diagnosed depression and I can still keep my head up around new people
@@nya4198 You sound like you're in control..😁
I always really like this narrator’s voice, it’s so soothing
Thank you so much
Hello there. You've found this comment in the sea of comments.
Here's a cake 🎂
Remember you are a great person and the world needs you. Even if you don't make a good first impression.
Hope you have a good day/night.
Thank you for the cake! Yum!
@@Psych2go Welcome. I love your videos. Please keep making them.
im sorry but next time can you get strawberry cake?
The world needs me? Nicejoke
@@ravensucks 🍰
Me: Hello ther-
Real life: _You have failed!_
why does failed look like it's more italic than the rest
@ATS Gaming Because it’s in italic?
It looks like its in double italics lol
Lemme try
_You have failed!_
@flowara oh okay, thank you :)
Me:(has anxiety)
Psych2Go: "make eye contact"
Me: *"Ha no"*
Anxiety army
Same 😥😂
shimeji help *SOME* people a *LITTLE* , I am a little embarrassed by it cause it does help me quite a *BIT*
*Rejoice!*
im with ya
Good thing there are people who can see past first impressions, as this list is an impossible standard for me.
I do forget names quite frequently, so gonna try to implement that advice
No eye contact, constantly looking at your phone, and constantly talking about yourself or shifting the conversation about you are the biggest impression killers for me.
I walked out on a date once because this girl and I met up at a restaurant and the entire time she was glued to her phone. I ordered my food and after a few minutes of this girl not giving me the time of day, I upped and left 😂
"You use filler words"
Hah, I'm in danger
Hah, im like... uh... in um... y'know like uh... danger
I am seeing some very depricating comments. To anyone who needs this, always remember:
Loving yourself is not narcissistic.
Confidence is not cocky.
Happiness is not selfish.
Removing yourself from toxic people is not heartless and cruel.
*You are going to be stuck with yourself for your whole life. Might as well learn to enjoy the company.*
I find I'm often in the best of company when I'm alone. ;o)
So god damn true man. I learned this to the fullest in my senior year, where I realized: who cares if I don't make friends here, and that I don't have common interests with almost anyone I talk to? As long as I'm happy with myself, I shouldn't care! :)
💯💯💯💯💯🖐
@@justalpha9138 frrrr a mood 💯💯💯💯
@@ifrahjama2215 :)
"First impression is unfair, because a first impression of somebody is guarded,and u dont know the person"
But in the sea of people you meet everyday, one has to have a way of quicksorting people. That is the point of first impressions..
People usually base their opinion about other people in a first impression because they don't care about them
The all people are equal bit is kinda true - I always talk to people as if they're my friends when in reality they're someone in authority or something
@@alexsilk5648 ya bro..
I agree. This is the reason I don't believe in "First impression" as us humans are very complex beings. It takes more time than to just get to know the person whole & sole. This first impression may give you a glimpse of that person's personality but it's just a "glimpse" You'll never know which person is good or bad if you just relied on this 1st impression thingy (sorry I'm too lazy to write "first" 😅).
I can't look into people's eyes for too long. I can do that for about 10 seconds and then my eyes turn away by themselves automatically. When I try to keep the eyecontact, my eyes are watering .-.
same
saaaaame 😭
And those 10 seconds surely do be feeling much longer than 10 seconds 😭😭😭😭
My eyes are really watery in general and its super annoying. People say its cause my tears are overflowing cause i dont cry ever, but if they get watery all the time they should empty themselves out eventually. Others say its an infection, or "dry eyes" which you have to take eye drops for. Im thinking its dry eyes, but i suck with taking eye drops, or just putting anything on my eyes in general
I can´t multitask and talking and looking in the eyes are two things at the same time, so I can´t do it. I´m overstimulated and don´t know what the other person is talking about if I focus on eyecontact.
Friend: finishes sentence and has a small pause
Me: opens mouth to speak
Friend: continues talking
Me: *internal oof*
*Y* *E* *S*
W H Y is this a thing?? This happens with friends and family !! It honestly makes me want to completely stop talking / conversing. It’s so painfully awkward
This is definitely gonna be a life saver in my future! Thank you!!!
I actually use almost all these impressions, I love to listen to others when they speak!
*This channel is absolutely ASTONISHING!* *Have an amazing day everyone!*
♡♡♡
Psych2go: releases this video
Me: memories flooding back
What memories? :O
@@Psych2go umm the mistakes I made in the past
Omg I literally made that mistake again 😂
@@jeremychan9799 looool
Psych2Go: *You should make eye contact*
Me who struggles making eye contact even with my dad: 🥴
Kim Taehyung IKR my father says that I shouldn’t be shy in front of him-
F SOCIAL ANXIETY
Christa SAME, even while talking to him on the phone I’m always shy for no reason 👁👄👁
Tell me about it. I know a few girls from going to conventions and attending cosplay meetups, and....let's just say trying to maintain eye contact with them and if they're constantly smiling at me is an endurance test to see when I'll eventually break down and go "I haven't been treated like this in 20+ years!"
FRRRR😭😭
me rushing really fast bc i feel like everyone hates me
Hey there I don't know u irl or anything but I just am here to tell u ur doing great ! Don't worry I know how it feels and wanna tell u it's never like this , take care !!
yoshi ro thank you sm take care too 😌✋🏽
Trust me, not everyone hates you. This mentality is soul sucking, and it took me a while to break it, but please try not to feel so down upon yourself. Try to find what makes you happy amidst the somberness. :)
I don’t know you but I can definitely relate. ❤️💯
same i feel like everyone around me hates me, i start questioning whats wrong w me 😳😔
No matter what, I'll seem like a stupid person.
•A l a n B u n• xD
Nooooo dont say that... Everyone is perfect the way they are. Be confident about yourself. :D
Why do you say so?
@@Psych2go First day of school, I tried to make a good impression to make a friend and I immedietly said "Ya' like jazz?" Okay, now I realise I need to stop listening to memes-
@@vernicelka ruclips.net/video/H46FRRvb-9o/видео.html
4:37 honestly I think that’s really cute tho 👀 I like listening to people talk
I’m too social awkward to even speak to new people
Lol, Hi!
Same and 💜💜
ikr- but then if you don't talk to them they just think that you hate them so they will hate you back, even if you're just nervous about socializing in general...
Good list! The key on a lot of the points is showing confidence when meeting people, without being selfish in how you are with them
Thank you! How many of these points do you agree with? :)
@@Psych2go Don't think I disagreed with any ;)
Practical inspiration: Nice, thoughtful comment. Thanks!
i always end up forgetting how to communicate with humans on meeting one. _sigh._
Felt bruh
How come?
I feel you. It's always a challenge for meeting new people.
My ex-friends were annoyed because I didn't asked them anymore what's up in their life, but honestly, I had enough of their negative drama shit and they also were never really interested about my life, so...
human are mostly selfish.
Same... I don’t know what to say
@@Psych2go like how to talk without stuttering, how to not end up tripping and falling, and how to not show my disinterest even though i am super interested!
The main way I go about social interactions is I focus my attention outward/ on the other person and I try to ignore how I'm portraying myself. This also allows you to respond to non verbal signs as well as having a better judge on someone's character. You don't have to pay much attention to yourself at all.
Caring about yourself only and not about the other person is a big NO GO! 💪🏼🙏🏼
This is true! Have you ever met someone like this?
Psych2Go yes! And it wasn’t fun haha
1. You show up late
2. You forgot their name
3. You use filler words
4. You interrupt people repeatedly
5. You avoid eye contact
6. You only talk about yourself
7. You answer your phone
8. You complain too much
9. You tell long stories
10. You dont ask questions
I find myself making first impressions FREQUENTLY and these are spot on. Forgetting a name though is usually forgiven and met with, “I’m so bad with names too.”
As a former ball of shy, I found that practice has made all of this easier. Sucks at first, but getting good at this is definitely very rewarding.
Bad Impressions:
1. You show up late.
Me: Good thing I always come prematurely:D
if ur seeing this 😼..
ur amazing. you are here for a reason. stay strong. you are loved, and if not by anyone else then by me. have a donut and vibe with me 🍩🍩🍩🍩 . ily!!
I appreci- did you put salt and vegetables in your donut?! That’s the worst donut I’ve ever eaten!
Make eye contact
Me being an introvert: 🙈
This video is incredibly insightful! It's important to understand the potential pitfalls of making a first impression. Thanks for sharing! 😊
True. You definitely don’t want to be misunderstood from the off (fewer things are more painful) but you can help yourself in that regard. Job-interviews are usually fine for people who otherwise make iffy first impressions because of social anxiety/awkwardness but when it comes to more intimate/personal social impressions body language can make or break it. It’s something pretty-much all of us have to learn to work on throughout our lives.
Very helpful list. Thank you.
THE NAME AHAHAHAHHA THATS SO ME OMG
Look, it’s hard for me to learn names if I meet someone only once xD
Uh, ChocoParfait, pay a bit more attention to the other person the first time you meet. Then maybe better odds for a second meeting.
Like the Doctor when he goes
“Lofty...”
“My name is not Lofty”
“Yes but I don’t remember it and I gotta concentrate so now you’re Lofty”
Someone has mixed my name up with someone else they were seeing during a date and I WAS SO ANNOYED! Definitely didn't go on a second date with him. That was a terrible first impression
Thank you for sharing your experience. That must be horrible! How did you respond when this person got your name mixed up?
@@Psych2go I corrected him and jokingly said "hope you dont do this on all your dates"
Sam Elle PERIODT. You deserve better 😌✨
I don’t see how someone can forget their date’s name... that’s a pretty clear sign your date wasn’t into you already
This is me to be honest. I forget names literally all the time and it pisses me off how forgetful I am. :(
Omg did you guys read my mind or something, this is gonna be so helpful the first day of school, thank you so much 💜
I really liked the jazzy music in the backround, it kinda fitted
Thank you so much for your feedback! This is very helpful :)
Your voice is calming ✨ specially at night 🌚
Thank you so much for your kind comment
Psych2Go this is the happiest day of my life 😁
Psych2Go I’ll try my best to work on psychology in my future thanks to you 😁
*Lucky for me, it's hard to botch a first impression when I never leave the house to make ANY impression.* 😅
Lmao big oof 🥴
Thank you for making these videos! They really help me identify things with myself and I really appreciate that. :)
Oh my god, thank you😖 Your videos are really good for general self-improvement.
Lol forgetting names just always happen with me😂😂
I'm not first
I'm not last
But most importantly
No one asked
Lol
Thankyou for bringing this video to us.
Great video! In this crazy and fast paced world which we live and work in, it's easy to get caught up with oneself. Will be putting into practice all of these wonderful tips!! I have been guilty of everyone of these on the list. I need to do better. Thanks for the upload. :)
My awkward-self could never 😆😅
Most peoples first impression of people typically happens when they die.
Wowwwwww! I never saw this much great videos..love your videos really by heart.
Thank you for all the videos❤️
We hope these videos helped you! What other topics would you like us to cover soon?
I won't even talk to anyone cuz im an introvert and its gonna be awkward
That’s probably anxiety not introversion. Introversion is when you can talk to a person without being awkward but yet choose not to
Top ten things that ruin your impression:
10. You
9. Are unique
8. And you
7. Should not
6. Be judged
5. Without
4. Looking into your
3. Inner core
2. Of heart and
1. *YOUR FACE*
bruh
Thanks for such a nice and detailed video it helps me alot and I remember all these points for future 😊
7. Oh.... 7. I hate when some people do that, it's like what tf is so important that you pull out your phone and start texting with someone.
I will break my back one day from carrying conversations with people like that
My first impression was not too bad. Maybe I could remember their names more and have a equal two way conversation
Can't make an impression if your seemingly a ghost
This is perfect for the new school year! Thank u!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge
Hi may I ask how to deal with a low voice? For me its almost impossible for me to do a presentation properly. To be honest I can barely do a high note everytime Im asigned to do a high note for a group musical thingy in class and no matter how much I want to do it I still cant
Me as an introvert- I'm so happy right now
ARMY...?
And lol... I wouldn't understand like half cuz I'm an ambivert...
Nisandi Linara
Yup I’m an Army
Very good advice, thank you.
Oh yes, yes, yesssss!!!! THANK YOU for posting this video!
Eye contact isn't important for me. (a person with autism spectrum disorders or there is a shrinking violet. introvert and shy is ok.
But talk a person about fake news, rassism and sexism Theroie, or is violence and belief in national socialism idealism, that isn't ok - and destroy the first impression immediately and forever.
Hello :D
haaii^^
I finally got attention
this is spot on! i'm a salesguy, and have been for many years. i do have one or two bad habits, that i always have to keep working on, but i do follow all of what you're saying here. this is SUPER good advice! for everyone!
bonus fact: how can you tell when you're talking to an extroverted engineer? he looks at YOUR shoes when he talks to you! i've been in engineering sales for almost 30 years.
These are nice to look out for. It helps you build confidence without too much effort. 😁
1) You show up late
0:44
2) You forget their name
1:11
3) You use filler words
1:49
4) You interrupt people frequently
2:23
5) You avoid eye contact
2:45
6) You only talk about yourself
3:15
7) You answer your phone during a conversation
3:41
8) You complain too much
3:59
9) You tell long stories
4:25
10) You don't ask questions
4:45
I always say to my friend 'i hope i die already' they laugh at me i hope they understand that im not joking
Why do you say that or feel that way?
Go see a professional about that
You could send them one of P2g videos on signs your friend is dealing with depression. Just to help them be more aware of what you're going through. I'm praying for you
They've spilled things on me, showed up with my ex, etc.
Also I needed this, I'm trying to get a job and I'm worried about interviews
Greater realisations , thank you
I needed this thank you
Great video!
New sub here!! Love your uploads and your voice !!
Very guilty of this one, oof. Thanks for making me more aware of my lackluster social maneuvering, psych2go ;).
My suggestion is, how about making a video about first impressions, but on digital media (chats)?
Social interactions nowadays in digital media are just as important as physical interactions, especially with our currently quarantined cases. We may have to meet people online more than in person.
I think that would be an interesting topic to differentiate from this.
More power to you, psych2go! :)
Could you make a video about signs that someone is afraid of relationships? I love what you are doing, I never thought these would help me
It’s crazy how I do these and I be aware of it after it happens then I see this video WOW! Thank you for the video
Your animation 🥺💜
Your voice 🥺🖤
Your videos 🖤🥺
I love your team. Lots of love.
Thanks for the tips😉
These are some really good advice and skills😉👍👍👌😁
Your videos are amazing Psych2Go! Keep it up. :)
Thank you so much for your kind comment! Did you relate to this video? :)
@@Psych2go Yes and I'm going to an interview soon and these types of videos are really helping me prepare. I mostly related to the one about saying things like umm and like which I hope I can try to improve on not doing that.
Love u channel u have helped so many people
I don't know why, but every time I make eye contact with someone I don't know that well during a conversation, I physically cringe. I'm just sitting there across from them, squinting my eyes and wincing every time I look up from the ground, as they talk. it's honestly the best way to make a great impression :)
I love this channel, because with every it reminds me that I'm such a soft, introverted person. People really seem to like me though.
Thank you very much for making psychological videos.....
It's really helpful dear
For the first point it reminds me of the old adage, "It's the thought that counts." Yes--and sometimes people do dumb things or give crappy gifts because the thought is that you have little value to the person!
I have discovered in the last 3 years that I talk more than people want to listen 😉, when I am anxious. Might have ruined a first coffee date with someone to whom I was super attracted. I loved the idea of repeating someone's name, when we introduce ourselves...I generally don't remember first names until I have said them 3 times. Also, your guideline around 20 minutes being too long for storytelling is great! I come from a long line of southern sit-on-the-porch story tellers. 😉