1. The dumper being 1000% certain that they have made the right choice. 2. The dumper thinks: “They’ll contact me, after all, they think the world of me.” 3. Anger and protection phase. 4. Enter the dumper’s fear and regret. 5. “I want a refund” phase. Life isn’t as great as the dumper thought it would be.
The more in no contact I go, the more I thank my lucky stars, I split up with her a couple of years back and the drama she created, threatening to kill herself, showing up at my house, at my work a complete nightmare. She has now dumped me, voluntarily left with no drama, no nonsense, at first it was hard, now it is beginning to feel like a blessing in disguise
My ex dumped me and got back with his ex. I made the mistake of reaching out, but it’s okay. I am not working on myself to have him back. I just want to work on myself and start something new when I feel ready. Good video
I was the dumper, but i needed to let him go and break up with him because I was too attached and he’s taking advantage of the fact that I love him more than I do. I can’t put up with him always expecting that I should ran after him even when he made me feel like shit
Women dumpers dont feel this because they cover up this feeling with being in a new relationship, New validation, She has a new toy, Its the honeymoon phase all over again. She sees that you arent the only guy interested in her. The new guys are telling her all the things she wants to hear. He admires her
Key word there “cover up” Like all distractions, they eventually wear off my friend. Rebounding or monkey branching will catch up with the dumper sooner or later in most cases.
@mattsmallwood3994 Damn that's weird as fock. I believe that when women do things like that, it comes back around to them eventually. I see it as what goes around come around
Women are emotional creatures guys. They go where they feel emotionally safe and protected. I’d suggest not wasting any time on what goes around comes around. Work on yourselves, level up, fix what you got wrong and find better quality women. I know thats direct advice, but it’s the only real choice we have . You’ll both be fine 😊
My ex got "tired of the situation" and "didn't feel the connection anymore" so she dumped me.. there were issues but they could have been fixed if we talked about them but I thought her growing distant was because of stress from work, I didn't know that she is detaching from the relationship. She herself said that I did everything I could and the relationship was great, so I don't know what happened.. things are just confusing af. But I think it has to do something with treating her like a celebrity.. she started believing that she can get that anywhere, which maybe she can but it would come from an admiration for her looks, not from a place of love for her being her
I’m sorry to hear, my friend. It sounds heartbreaking. Sometimes, you can do no wrong and still lose. That’s life. Someone detaching is never about stress at work. It’s a proxy for something deeper, like unexpressed or unheard needs and wants in the relationship. Treating someone like a celebrity will always have a negative effect. We must only give 50% of ourselves to a relationship. The other 50% we keep back for ourselves. That’s what is attractive and sexy.
I’m sorry to hear that buddy. It’s called a breakup relapse. You’ll have a few of them. When they happen let them happen and view it with curiosity. You’re doing great 😊
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I'm 5 months out, feels like a relapse but Xmas is only around the corner. We were together for 2.5 years, 90% healthy, no fighting, bickering or anything like that. Her rebound ended recently and I seen her not long after on the dating app again. She's dyed her hair blonde last week, she's mixed race and has brown skin, the blonde looks awful tbf
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I don't mate, just the op hit me in the feels. I guess...we had a good relationship and a recent trip home for her seemed to change everything, came back a different person. I guess the story is too long for a comment, I might reach out to you in the near future
55 days no contact for me. I think about her everyday and look at her photo and I think, why couldn’t of you been a nicer person, a more caring person and I think of the abuse I took. I can’t bring myself to contact her after everything that happened, it’s just so demeaning and I have too much self respect. I hope one day she does wake up and realise who she lost as apparently I was the only one that treated her well.
I hear you man and I’m sorry to hear that. You can’t control anyone or make them into a different person. But here’s is the tough love. You chose her, so maybe your screening process needs to improve.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thanks for replying Nick. Yes-sometimes you meet a person, maybe once in your life and get lucky or you meet someone who you feel at the time is perfect. My fault was putting her on a pedestal, and also ignoring the signs of her behaviour early on. People rarely change if ever and that’s a lesson learnt.
I got dumped, moved out in Nov. Ever since she keeps sending me texts about how many letters that i have. obvs, i can't change my address on everything. She keeps asking how i am - i told her to either forward them to my address or return to sender. I know I may be clutching at straws here, but she's not saying anything important or emotional. she's basically like a dpd notification. I have remained steadfastly no contact this whole time
This whole NC thing can also get in the way of the Universe and the energies of putting you back together. If there is true love and you both miss each other, then talk. Forget the power, just feel. Go with the energy, keep it respectful, don't allow to be used, but also don't allow NC too much power in itself, you might lose your forever because you are not communicating.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Thanks for the reply. For me it starts with yourself. If I had a bad day/week etc and was out of line, perhaps came across distant because say a job situation, or financial stress and I ignored her and she stood by me always. Thats the sign of true love for me. Thats where I need to resolve an issue that I created, no begging, just a sincere apology, then I'll give her space but I need to be a good human for someone who cares deeply.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick But you can know your own value, that does not mean life , big challenges in life can get in the way, change your mood and how you behave. There is a difference between knowing ones value Vs knowing when you messed up. Ownership.
If you messed up, no contact is still a good way to go, so you can sort your BS out. If it was you who messed up, then for sure apologise to your ex. But their reaction is their reaction. If they reject your apology, no contact is still the right way to go because you’re respecting their wishes to not wanting to be with you.
this channel is amazing, I'm glad I found it in the last week, I'm enjoying going through the back catalogue of videos. you have a way of articulating things that is different to the others. like you really understand...
So I spent 2 years until I moved on & let go. We tried, but it wasn’t working out! I was still being breadcrumbed & getting nowhere. I got to a point of moving on & being ok with me! We did try again for about 2 months, but my feelings weren’t in it anymore. Knocking on the door of 3 years & I still had a message coming up a month ago with her trying to get back ffs
So much unnecessary dramas. The solution is to go no contact on them. Have a peace of mind. Nothing is more important than a peaceful mind. Should havd learnt this earlier on in my life
He stop talking to me but i asked to be left alone, and he wouldn't, so i blocked him, and made him understand how i wanted to be treated, leave me alone, and the sad part is he told me that he made the wrong mistake, my reply no you made the right decision
I’ve been on both sides of the fence as well. It’s not about shaming the dumper. I’ve said in many videos that the dumper isn’t a bad person for dumping the dumpee. They have their reasons and that’s okay. As this channel is targeted at helping dumpees, it’s more about getting the dumpee into the correct mindset and establish boundaries with the dumper. If you could give me a specific example, I’d be happy to discuss it.
Does any of this apply to a 16 yr marriage/relationship and her and family mom dad uncle sister and her recorded her not wanting anything to do with meso I called 5 times texted 10 basic things like about the house car etc and packed up and left her alone after that day.
After 5 years and our child together she left me because I had insecurities about her being with other men till late at night. I chased her for 2 months (like full crazy) and then we got back together for a month and then she left again. Week later she's with another dude on a 'date'. 6 months have gone by since then and she's still with him. My character has been assassinated saying I was abusive though that was the other way around. I'm in a new place, I get the kid two weeks at a time, and I stopped contacting her 5 months ago. She's popped up literally once every month since but it's only about the kid now. I'm hurt beylnd belief fellas.
Buddy, you not being okay with her being with other men late at night, is NOT an insecurity. It’s a boundary. Sure shes free to have opposite sex friends, but there are acceptable limits. Grabbing lunch with a male friend every now and then i would say is okay. Staying out late all the time would be a boundary violation. You’re better off without her. Women who need validation from other men when they have a boyfriend are not healthy or high quality. Select better next time buddy. I hope you feel better.
I appreciate it. Been forging ahead best I can. It's hard to accept that my child is in the middle of it and already around this other dude. Some vindictive part of me wants the validation of telling her I don't want her if she were to try come back but given the circumstances I'm not sure that'll ever be an eventuality. I mean she left for my 'insecurities' but also made claims that I never took her needs into account before my own and that I didn't love her despite chasing her for months. It's all bullocks. May have lost some pride, but at least I can tell my kid I tried tk hold it together.
Mine blocked me 😢I broke no contact asking to meet up to talk and he changed his number 😔I really love him, but I guess it’s time to let go energetically now.
Tackle rebound relationships why do your ex seems to make their rebound more important than you who they don t know this person or have a history with them like they do with you .
Hi James, there’s at least 3 videos on my channel regarding rebounds buddy. The latest one is in the link below. ruclips.net/video/8xUrnVdNXDQ/видео.html
One qord... Limmerance. Let it run its course. If it's notthat, the rebound is only a substitute for u. Everything will be compared to you. Until eventually your ex cant take it and pulls away. Hence the rebound. Unless if course you didnt mean to much and it was a short relationship. Then the rebound really isnt a rebound. Its who she is dating next. Just as you were.
A kinda short answer for this... Its because she in a new relationship, New validation, She has a new toy, Its the honeymoon phase all over again. She sees that you arent the only guy interested in her. They new guy is telling her all the things she wants to hear. He admires her.
What about if the dumpee maintains contact for about 3 months after the break up to reach out, beg, and ask them to comeback? then decides no contact after those 3 months?
If you’re referring to getting your ex back, I’m sorry to say that begging and pleading for 3 months doesn’t make a strong case. All that says to your ex is that you didn’t respect their wishes.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick We're in good terms but I tried talking to him about it since he never said the reason, why he wants the breakup and there's no proper closure.
You have closure. The day they ended the relationship is the closure. It sucks you didn’t get a proper explanation, but end result is the same. They still left. Either way, when someone walks away let them go and give them silence. Following someone like a lost puppy isn’t attractive.
Need help. My ex left on December 28th 2021 took our 2 kids and moved in with another man she met a year ago at work. Thing is for the whole of this year shes had me arrested had a non mol order on myself and the whole time been contacting me from fake accounts and her email and telling me she loves me and her and kids are coning home. I sound stupid but for 7 months I believed her. My heart hurts so much. I cant stop being jealous of this new bf snd my family. I've been suicidal in Feb and again last month. I've tried dating but nobody compares or is better than my ex and I am not ready. How do I let go? Ice not seen my kids all year also.
This sounds very toxic buddy. My advice would be to distance yourself from her and focus on yourself and your kids. If dating isn’t working for you right now, focus on building a great single life. It’s likely you’re not emotionally available right now which is okay. I hope you feel better soon.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick yeah bud I've applied for courts child access then a week later she served me with a non mol order. Both my defense snd child access have been put into one case. My hearing is this Friday im so nervous as I'm going alone
What if you were married so you tried for a couple months? But eventually gave in to the divorce. Now she won’t sign the papers after 45 days no contact. I don’t get it
@@TheLoveFix-Nick You just hit the nail on the head. They usually do and the consequences of those decisions always come back and bite them in the azz HARD!!!
I begged and even sent her gifts for months. Is there a way to start no contact if I'm blocked? What do I do? She's dating another guy she works with and only hangs out with coworkers who are involved in this.
Just leave her alone and work on you my man. That’s all you can do. Get off her social media, stop asking about her and focus on you and your healing. No contact is for getting your ex back. It’s for getting you back.
My ex broke up with me a week ago. She admitted to running out on me when her life is in a downward spiral and didn’t want me to have to deal with that. Because when she gets depressed it gets bad she said. And recently she told me she misses me, she regrets the decision made but she made it and has to deal with it. At this point what do I do? She took me off all social only have text messaging. But she hasn’t replied in 3 days. Can you tell me what’s going on?
Buddy, only your ex knows what’s going on her head. It’s a futile exercise to try and mind read the situation. Try and focus your energy on you. Stay now, stay present and take one day at a time. I promise you’ll be fine. But ponder. Why would you want to be with someone that checks out the second things get tough?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick so I get what you mean completely. I’m the giver and fixer in any of my relationships. So I had asked her “how would you feel if this was happening to you?” And her response to that was “I’d be hurt, it’s my toxic tendency.” And to me that response basically tells me she sees that as a normal thing and that’s just who she is so do you think she will ever change ?
What if the person who rebounded is angry that out of their entire group of friends you're the only one that didn't call them to wish them happy birthday/holidays/whatever/etc...and they call YOU and tell you this themselves. Can someone explain this to me 🤔?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick They jump feet-first into a rebound relationship with someone who abandoned their spouse, and they still want you to call them several times a day with your whereabouts, what you're doing etc, who you're doing these things with, etc, and get mad at you when you don't. On their birthday/a holiday, they get mad at you for not calling them to wish them happy birthday/happy holidays. They also get mad when you tell them to change the subject when they want to tell you/talk about this person. Bottom line...they are mad at you for not doing any of this so they call you and tell you. If their rebound was sooooo great, why are they sooo preoccupied with everything you're doing?????
After 6 months, she tell me she was anxious and she don’t know what she wants and after that tell me she wants to be alone and know what, 2 weeks later, rebounds. She have a kids and poor kids. A lot of friends tell me after the honeymoon, and when everything would be done, she might be using is kids to reach out. I was very close with the kids, we played a lot together so… I know he cry when a speak with him the last time. Since the January 26, no txt no calls nothing. She’s 35 and I’m sure if at this age we can have the same feeling for the dumper. And can’t believe she can use is own kids to reach me like : he want to see you … you miss him so after all, I move on with myself, but sometimes i afraid if she do that:( ps sorry for my English!
Sorry to hear that buddy. You can’t control her, but you can take responsibility for how you feel and you respond. Better things are out there for you but you must do the work on yourself. Hope you feel better.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick yess I feel okay, I work a lot right now on me and my health. It was horrible seeing her smile me like nothing… shake the hands… I was so angry inside me… can believe tomorrow, 4 months she left me. Can’t believe she love him just like that… a friends from FB she already know since so many years… why now? But… best thing to do is moving but I feel so empty!
@@TheLoveFix-Nick She deleted my number/blocked me, no happy birthday text or call. I should just give up. Hard do to chase them in that case. I also don't use social media.
Do the stages happen when they are in a rebound relationship, shes been in one for almost 5 months and the seem pretty happy with them but not with life, because her life has gone downhill since breaking up with me.
James, I would ask how do you have this information? We should try to know as little as possible about our exes. Ignorance is bliss in these cases. Check out my video on. Rebound Relationships | The 5 Stages The Dumper Goes Through ruclips.net/video/8xUrnVdNXDQ/видео.html
@@TheLoveFix-Nick my friends keep bringing it/her up even though I ask them not to. I've asked them to just not mention her but they do and tell me things like that. And i know how long they've been dating because they started like 2 weeks after she broke up with me
Okay buddy. Please tell your friends and the second they mention her name, cut them off. Focus on you and you’re healing now. That’s all you can do. Try not to give your ex this energy and give it to yourself. Ask yourself this. Why would you want to be with someone who would rather rebound than work things out with you?
The Love Fix is spot on bruv...why would u want someone who needs to explore another's body and mind in order to discover you were actually the one they wanted all along?? F that! Respect yourself. Grieve the process and make yourself better. You can want her but still have self respect and know in your heart that you are worth more. The person u want wont need a rebound in order. to get back with u.
That’s a tough one buddy. I don’t know the answer to that. May be she is just curious? May be she is having doubts and seeing if you’re available. It could mean something, itcould mean nothing. My response to her message would be something like “ Hey. That’s a random question out of the blue. Why do you ask?” Put the ball straight back into her court and eliminate the guess work. Be indifferent and act with curiosity. This sends the message of that it’s really none of your business but I’ll indulge you IF you explain yourself. If she does reply and it’s NOT for reconciliation you can say something simple like “ I’m working on a few personal projects and having fun doing it” You’re being polite but spiking her curiosity. If she keeps reaching out then i would suggest something a bit firmer like “Hey, it’s great to hear from you but this isn’t working for me right now. I only want romance with you so please only reach out if you want to reconcile” Set the terms and set your boundaries. It’s a statement of intent and it’s mature attractive response.
Shes seeking validation and an ego boost from you. She still thinks of u but not enough to go back to you...yet. dont ignore her, but dont give in to the ploy. Say something like, "Hi!...I've actually been so busy lately I havent had much time to think about it." Its the best thing u can do. I promise.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick well we where playing overwatch some months ago and I just called him a cute name but this girl witch isnt one of his friends day to day life, but still kind of close friend kind off found it cringe and after that they dint invite me to play with them anymore but I still played with him alone most of the nights
Hey Nick, I wonder if I ever reach out to them after some amount of time of no contact to establish connection again? (p.s i'm in a long distance relationship and she have a rebound) Thank you so much!
Buddy, unless they reach out to you don’t say anything to them. If they’re in a rebound, let them have it and let it implode on them. You make a far stronger statement by giving them the gift of silence.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thank you so much, Nick. Coaches been telling me, since i'm in long distance, you should reach out and establish connection when you are healed so they don't think i'm still holding a grief towards her. Thanks again.
I’d say the only time it’s okay to reach out is if you’ve moved on, you have no attachment to an outcome and you just want to catch up. If you still have romantic feelings then you risk getting hurt again. The dumper has to know there are consequences to their actions. They ended it that means no more relationship privileges.
Smart contact my friend. If she dumped you then you only talk about the baby and the arrangements for you to be active in the babies life. Do your bit to support with baby stuff, nothing more. I guess you could bring this up IF things are going well, because you’re having a baby together. But my friend, raising a baby is tough in a stable relationship. It’s close to impossible if you’re trying to reconcile. I guess it’s worth one last shot because of your unique situation, but the chances of you getting rejected again are high.
I was going to listen to your video, but then you started recommending the clot shot. That poison will eventually destroy what health you did have. Look into ways to detox that crap out if your system before it dies worse damage. Good luck to you🙏🏻
He left me saying even though he was happy, he could never feel content. But you know what? He used to be so obsessed and possessive over me and he suddenly changed :( after making me fall for him head over heals
I see. This doesn’t sound like an emotional stable person. That said, no one make you do anything. Your feelings for him are your responsibility and that’s your super power. Armed with that knowledge, you begin to heal. It sounds like it maybe did you a favour. How can he love your or anyone rise? When he clearly doesn’t love himself?
It’s hard to say without knowing your particular situation, but most dumpers do question their decision at some point. Whether they come back or not is a different story. But certainly after 8 year, they don’t just forget and they will revisit the relationship in their head. If this is a recent breakup, the dumper will be resolute in their decision making so just leave them alone. In the meantime focus on you, your healing, and levelling up. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this but I promise you will be fine.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Thank you ...there were many variables in our relationship like we had a age gap of like 10 years etc it is recent last October gone..Your channel is great ! It's keeping me going.
My ex is the one who dumped me, he asked to keep in touch then reached out a couple of times following the breakup but I didn't show any interest in this new form of relationship so he completely disappeared, not that I'm reaching out or anything, but he no longer reads the messages on group chats we're both in on social media or sees my stories it's like he's dead. He apparently doesn't even talk to our mutual friends. It's been a month now! Also I need to give him back a big amount of money he gave me (ironically 1 days before leaving me) and I truly just want to give it to him, I don't feel ready to take contact with him as I still some time for myself and I wonder if he'd consider this like me trying to put on a conversation.
I’m sorry to hear that Sara. It’s okay to reach out and discuss the money you want to pay back. Keep it strictly business and only talk about the relationship if he brings it up. I hope you feel better.
What if she wasn't giving me any respect, stop having sex and didn't want to take my feelings into consideration. Every breakup is different and unique.. I never wanted to leave my ex, I want to marry her. She didnt want to compromise and respect my boundaries.
Don’t be the go to person for the person you can’t go to. If she didn’t want to compromise and respect your boundaries then you’re right for each other.
It really depends on the individual my friend. Perception of reality is highly subjective. But I would say most people do reflect at one stage or another.
I love your content but you constantly stress barring any type of abuse. I would argue that there’s a massive percentage of relationships that end, because of some form of abuse on either side, whether that be physical, mental, emotional or whatever. Everybody knows you don’t condone abuse I don’t think most people do. But as wonderful as this video and advice is, I feel like it along with many other videos make a huge majority of your followers feel like they’re excluded myself included. And naturally those that end relationships simply due to a loss of attraction or something silly like that only proves it was never much of a relationship in the first place. Let’s be real. Those are most likely Situationships with two immature college type kids playing with their options.. real long-term relationships only end due to something not OK
Loved the voice acting Nick 😆 Its been 31 days since my break up. I have not contacted her but she has for 3 reasons. 1. I left an expensive bracelet at hers. She found it and said she'd post it recorded delivery. I replied with a simple thank you. 2. She messaged me to say one of my mates is creeping her out DMing her. I replied that's unfortunate block him. 3. Contacted me again to say she'll finally send me my bracelet. I replied thank you. She said hope you are OK. I said yes thanks. She also said she's deleting me from snapchat as she don't want to be seen as 'snooping' on me? I said yes no problem. Still no bracelet 😅 I have her on no social media now so its full radio silence. What you think to that Nick? Hope you feel better buddy!
I know right? I should be on tv with that level of voice acting! 😂 I think you’ve handled that well buddy. My only critique would’ve been this. “I’m good thanks, I hope you’re okay to” As for her “I’m taking you off Snapchat” protesting with a hint of passive aggressiveness much? 🙄 Stick to your guns man. If she reaches out with something more meaningful and you’re okay with it, match her level of conversation. If she’s asks how you are “yeah, all good in the hood. Working on some personal projects. What’s new with you?” If she engages then great. If not, straight back into no contact. In the meantime focus on you my man. 💪💪💪
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thanks for the reply mate much appreciated. I'll take that critique on board for sure. I think radio silence will help loads now. Keep up the content mate you really don't know how much it helps all of these broken hearts across the globe. I'll come back in a few years when you are up at 1m subscriptions and celebrate with you. Thanks Nick
@@TheLoveFix-Nick weird one, I've got her unfriended everywhere except WhatsApp. She put a status up (never done one before) taking a brutal dig at me (wtf) and she's becoming really pally with a male friend she met through me. She seems to be trying to catch my attention by being vengeful. Strange one
No oxygen buddy. It’s her personal responsibility to how she acts out. Not your problem. If she wants to talk like a balanced, mature adult then she can reach out. Passive aggressive status updates is not a sign of maturity. Pity her.
I know that nothing is set in stone, but what if the other person checked out of the relationship half a year (or more) earlier and continued to use you as a pair of emotional crutches when insecure, entertainment, when bored, an alternative to loneliness, and an ATM of physical intimacy when horny, do the same stages still apply? I have no desire to reconcile, i am day 2 of trying to focus on my self with a very bleak outlook ( I'm a diagnosed Bipolar type 2 male) so my outlook on life, myself and my ex changes every hour, but... I am committed to moving on forever. She has been extremely toxic and is trying to be purposefully hurtful and cruel, and is already rebounding. I have a feeling you'll say that I should focus on myself and of course that there are no guarantees in life. But i would just like an iota of solace in the fact, that maybe - just maybe - after or during her flings she'll have an ounce of regret. I know i'm still tying my self-worth to her but for now, i really hope that can happen, it's only day 2. The short version of my question is : Do the emotionally checked out who have had the time to "grieve" the relationship? (when? Seriously, when? It was like a fun roller coaster ride for her) ever experience any of these stages? Thank you.
I think you’ve answered your question in your question there buddy. I’ll ask you this. What difference does it make to your life if she’s feeling regret or not? It doesn’t really change your situation does it? The only person who change you feel buddy is you. Are getting treatment for your bipolar?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Thanks for your reply Nick. At the moment, it feels like a drop of water in a desert if she actually does regret it even a bit. Because for the last 3 years my entire day has revolved around her. I know that was wrong and bad for me, and I know that moving forward whatever she thinks or does should not be my problem at all. But at this moment the thought of her just sliding into a new relationship with a “normal” person without the possibility of her rebound eventually imploding because of unprocessed emotions on her part, is just unbearable. I know I need to get over that, but i’m just not at that phase yet. Yes I am getting treatment for my Bipolar i’ve been medicated since 2012. Thanks again.
You feel how you feel man and that’s always okay. When you spend your entire time devoted to someone else’s happiness you neglect your own. Imagining what she is doing will drive you crazy. Also define normal! I’d argue you no one is normal. We are all unique people which doesn’t classify as normal. Focus on you and the possibility of you getting with someone new, but you must do the work on yourself first man. It’s scary, tough and sometimes just painful. But we take pain today so we can feel better tomorrow. Every second spent on her, is a second you could’ve spent on your own progress. Imagine where you’d be if you put all that energy into yourself. I promise, you’ll be okay.
1. The dumper being 1000% certain that they have made the right choice.
2. The dumper thinks: “They’ll contact me, after all, they think the world of me.”
3. Anger and protection phase.
4. Enter the dumper’s fear and regret.
5. “I want a refund” phase. Life isn’t as great as the dumper thought it would be.
They do miss you but give them a chance to miss you. No contact and self improvement
Well said. No contact is the mature response.
The more in no contact I go, the more I thank my lucky stars, I split up with her a couple of years back and the drama she created, threatening to kill herself, showing up at my house, at my work a complete nightmare. She has now dumped me, voluntarily left with no drama, no nonsense, at first it was hard, now it is beginning to feel like a blessing in disguise
My ex dumped me and got back with his ex. I made the mistake of reaching out, but it’s okay. I am not working on myself to have him back. I just want to work on myself and start something new when I feel ready. Good video
His closing statement is golden.
This makes me feel so much better… especially them talking to themselves 😂😮
I was the dumper, but i needed to let him go and break up with him because I was too attached and he’s taking advantage of the fact that I love him more than I do. I can’t put up with him always expecting that I should ran after him even when he made me feel like shit
As long as you made the right decision for you, you’re doing just fine.
Women dumpers dont feel this because they cover up this feeling with being in a new relationship, New validation, She has a new toy, Its the honeymoon phase all over again. She sees that you arent the only guy interested in her. The new guys are telling her all the things she wants to hear. He admires her
Key word there “cover up”
Like all distractions, they eventually wear off my friend.
Rebounding or monkey branching will catch up with the dumper sooner or later in most cases.
Going through that now my ex had a new bf a week after the breakup. Been with him since and funny because he has my name smh
@mattsmallwood3994 Damn that's weird as fock. I believe that when women do things like that, it comes back around to them eventually. I see it as what goes around come around
Women are emotional creatures guys. They go where they feel emotionally safe and protected.
I’d suggest not wasting any time on what goes around comes around. Work on yourselves, level up, fix what you got wrong and find better quality women. I know thats direct advice, but it’s the only real choice we have .
You’ll both be fine 😊
@@TheLoveFix-Nick well put if someone discarded why would you go back
My ex got "tired of the situation" and "didn't feel the connection anymore" so she dumped me.. there were issues but they could have been fixed if we talked about them but I thought her growing distant was because of stress from work, I didn't know that she is detaching from the relationship.
She herself said that I did everything I could and the relationship was great, so I don't know what happened.. things are just confusing af. But I think it has to do something with treating her like a celebrity.. she started believing that she can get that anywhere, which maybe she can but it would come from an admiration for her looks, not from a place of love for her being her
I’m sorry to hear, my friend. It sounds heartbreaking.
Sometimes, you can do no wrong and still lose. That’s life.
Someone detaching is never about stress at work. It’s a proxy for something deeper, like unexpressed or unheard needs and wants in the relationship.
Treating someone like a celebrity will always have a negative effect.
We must only give 50% of ourselves to a relationship. The other 50% we keep back for ourselves. That’s what is attractive and sexy.
😊😊 Yes. She wanted all the attention. Insecure😊😊
After 7 months apart I had quite a downer period the last few weeks. This really helped. Especially the last few minutes.
I’m sorry to hear that buddy. It’s called a breakup relapse. You’ll have a few of them. When they happen let them happen and view it with curiosity.
You’re doing great 😊
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thanks, appreciate that a lot and thanks again for the video 🙏
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I'm 5 months out, feels like a relapse but Xmas is only around the corner. We were together for 2.5 years, 90% healthy, no fighting, bickering or anything like that. Her rebound ended recently and I seen her not long after on the dating app again. She's dyed her hair blonde last week, she's mixed race and has brown skin, the blonde looks awful tbf
@Timothy. Do you have question buddy?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I don't mate, just the op hit me in the feels. I guess...we had a good relationship and a recent trip home for her seemed to change everything, came back a different person. I guess the story is too long for a comment, I might reach out to you in the near future
Thank you... this is so helpful.. because I have been devastated... been walked all over
That rough man.
I hope you’re feeling better.
Got dumped last week to the day. Been grinding your videos and as I’m watching this my ex texted me lol. No fucking way
What did your ex say?
55 days no contact for me. I think about her everyday and look at her photo and I think, why couldn’t of you been a nicer person, a more caring person and I think of the abuse I took. I can’t bring myself to contact her after everything that happened, it’s just so demeaning and I have too much self respect. I hope one day she does wake up and realise who she lost as apparently I was the only one that treated her well.
I hear you man and I’m sorry to hear that.
You can’t control anyone or make them into a different person.
But here’s is the tough love. You chose her, so maybe your screening process needs to improve.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thanks for replying Nick. Yes-sometimes you meet a person, maybe once in your life and get lucky or you meet someone who you feel at the time is perfect. My fault was putting her on a pedestal, and also ignoring the signs of her behaviour early on. People rarely change if ever and that’s a lesson learnt.
Those damn pedestals! 😤
Update?
Stop counting the days man, you should have stopped after 2 weeks IMO.
I got dumped, moved out in Nov.
Ever since she keeps sending me texts about how many letters that i have. obvs, i can't change my address on everything. She keeps asking how i am - i told her to either forward them to my address or return to sender. I know I may be clutching at straws here, but she's not saying anything important or emotional. she's basically like a dpd notification. I have remained steadfastly no contact this whole time
Sorry to hear that, that’s rough.
Stay the course man. It truly does hurt but broken hearts bounce back even stronger.
This whole NC thing can also get in the way of the Universe and the energies of putting you back together. If there is true love and you both miss each other, then talk. Forget the power, just feel. Go with the energy, keep it respectful, don't allow to be used, but also don't allow NC too much power in itself, you might lose your forever because you are not communicating.
Define true love.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Thanks for the reply. For me it starts with yourself. If I had a bad day/week etc and was out of line, perhaps came across distant because say a job situation, or financial stress and I ignored her and she stood by me always. Thats the sign of true love for me. Thats where I need to resolve an issue that I created, no begging, just a sincere apology, then I'll give her space but I need to be a good human for someone who cares deeply.
NC is the very definition of self love. It’s to get you back and to appreciate your own value.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick But you can know your own value, that does not mean life , big challenges in life can get in the way, change your mood and how you behave. There is a difference between knowing ones value Vs knowing when you messed up. Ownership.
If you messed up, no contact is still a good way to go, so you can sort your BS out. If it was you who messed up, then for sure apologise to your ex. But their reaction is their reaction. If they reject your apology, no contact is still the right way to go because you’re respecting their wishes to not wanting to be with you.
11:11 facts 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
this channel is amazing, I'm glad I found it in the last week, I'm enjoying going through the back catalogue of videos. you have a way of articulating things that is different to the others. like you really understand...
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you’re doing well and feeling better today. 😊
I absolutely loved this! You really go into detail with the stages of every phase. 🙏🏼
Thank you Katt.
I hope it was of some help.
Is your ex in a rebound?
So I spent 2 years until I moved on & let go. We tried, but it wasn’t working out! I was still being breadcrumbed & getting nowhere. I got to a point of moving on & being ok with me! We did try again for about 2 months, but my feelings weren’t in it anymore. Knocking on the door of 3 years & I still had a message coming up a month ago with her trying to get back ffs
So much unnecessary dramas. The solution is to go no contact on them. Have a peace of mind. Nothing is more important than a peaceful mind. Should havd learnt this earlier on in my life
He stop talking to me but i asked to be left alone, and he wouldn't, so i blocked him, and made him understand how i wanted to be treated, leave me alone, and the sad part is he told me that he made the wrong mistake, my reply no you made the right decision
Well done for hold your boundaries
Get well soon ! And my ex has no soul so no remorse the sucubus
Thanks buddy.
Sucubus….. interesting.
Sounds like an interesting story.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 love the word succubus, sounds like a narcissist
@@goodvibes2075the final boss 😂
Hilarious 😂😂
As a dumper and a dumpee, this video is spot on (well a little bit on the dumper shaming side).
I’ve been on both sides of the fence as well. It’s not about shaming the dumper. I’ve said in many videos that the dumper isn’t a bad person for dumping the dumpee. They have their reasons and that’s okay. As this channel is targeted at helping dumpees, it’s more about getting the dumpee into the correct mindset and establish boundaries with the dumper.
If you could give me a specific example, I’d be happy to discuss it.
Thank you so much for this ❤
My pleasure. I hope it can help with your recovery. 😊
Does any of this apply to a 16 yr marriage/relationship and her and family mom dad uncle sister and her recorded her not wanting anything to do with meso I called 5 times texted 10 basic things like about the house car etc and packed up and left her alone after that day.
Every situation is different, but yes it could apply.
I’m sorry you’re having to go through such a rough time.
After 30 days of no contact and being engaged and living together etc. I found out she has a tinder profile. I blocked her number and email. SEE YA
Sorry to hear that but you did the right thing.
Got covid, unvaccinated. Ive had colds that were worse. Weird 🤔
Hope you feel better soon 🙏
Everyone reacts differently to it. 😉
@@TheLoveFix-Nick lol it's a cold
Do thousands of people die from the common cold?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick yes actually, and the flu
All sickness its important to protect the vulnerable
Thank you my friend you have woken my arse up
My pleasure. I hope you’re well buddy.
Great content
Thanks Parth, I hope you’re well.
After 5 years and our child together she left me because I had insecurities about her being with other men till late at night. I chased her for 2 months (like full crazy) and then we got back together for a month and then she left again. Week later she's with another dude on a 'date'. 6 months have gone by since then and she's still with him. My character has been assassinated saying I was abusive though that was the other way around. I'm in a new place, I get the kid two weeks at a time, and I stopped contacting her 5 months ago. She's popped up literally once every month since but it's only about the kid now. I'm hurt beylnd belief fellas.
Buddy, you not being okay with her being with other men late at night, is NOT an insecurity. It’s a boundary. Sure shes free to have opposite sex friends, but there are acceptable limits. Grabbing lunch with a male friend every now and then i would say is okay. Staying out late all the time would be a boundary violation. You’re better off without her. Women who need validation from other men when they have a boyfriend are not healthy or high quality. Select better next time buddy. I hope you feel better.
I appreciate it. Been forging ahead best I can. It's hard to accept that my child is in the middle of it and already around this other dude. Some vindictive part of me wants the validation of telling her I don't want her if she were to try come back but given the circumstances I'm not sure that'll ever be an eventuality. I mean she left for my 'insecurities' but also made claims that I never took her needs into account before my own and that I didn't love her despite chasing her for months. It's all bullocks. May have lost some pride, but at least I can tell my kid I tried tk hold it together.
Sounds like left because of her insecurities buddy.
Lions don’t concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Be the lion.
I’ve been loving your analogies
Thanks buddy.
Mine blocked me 😢I broke no contact asking to meet up to talk and he changed his number 😔I really love him, but I guess it’s time to let go energetically now.
It’s okay that you still love him, but love yourself more and unconditionally. 😊
Thank you so much 🙏🏾😘❤
The Voice acting was on par with Olivier Nick lol
Tackle rebound relationships why do your ex seems to make their rebound more important than you who they don t know this person or have a history with them like they do with you .
Hi James, there’s at least 3 videos on my channel regarding rebounds buddy. The latest one is in the link below.
ruclips.net/video/8xUrnVdNXDQ/видео.html
One qord... Limmerance. Let it run its course. If it's notthat, the rebound is only a substitute for u. Everything will be compared to you. Until eventually your ex cant take it and pulls away. Hence the rebound. Unless if course you didnt mean to much and it was a short relationship. Then the rebound really isnt a rebound. Its who she is dating next. Just as you were.
A kinda short answer for this... Its because she in a new relationship, New validation, She has a new toy, Its the honeymoon phase all over again. She sees that you arent the only guy interested in her. They new guy is telling her all the things she wants to hear. He admires her.
@The Mute Channel. Yes, but it’s more in-depth than that.
LEGEEEEND, back again
Thanks buddy, hope you’re doing better today.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick still very shitty, but ay its not something fun a breakup with a 6 year relationship.
Never is buddy. Literally grieving someone who is still alive. Arguably one of the hardest things to do 😞
What about if the dumpee maintains contact for about 3 months after the break up to reach out, beg, and ask them to comeback? then decides no contact after those 3 months?
If you’re referring to getting your ex back, I’m sorry to say that begging and pleading for 3 months doesn’t make a strong case. All that says to your ex is that you didn’t respect their wishes.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick We're in good terms but I tried talking to him about it since he never said the reason, why he wants the breakup and there's no proper closure.
You have closure. The day they ended the relationship is the closure. It sucks you didn’t get a proper explanation, but end result is the same. They still left.
Either way, when someone walks away let them go and give them silence. Following someone like a lost puppy isn’t attractive.
Need help. My ex left on December 28th 2021 took our 2 kids and moved in with another man she met a year ago at work. Thing is for the whole of this year shes had me arrested had a non mol order on myself and the whole time been contacting me from fake accounts and her email and telling me she loves me and her and kids are coning home. I sound stupid but for 7 months I believed her. My heart hurts so much. I cant stop being jealous of this new bf snd my family. I've been suicidal in Feb and again last month.
I've tried dating but nobody compares or is better than my ex and I am not ready. How do I let go? Ice not seen my kids all year also.
This sounds very toxic buddy. My advice would be to distance yourself from her and focus on yourself and your kids.
If dating isn’t working for you right now, focus on building a great single life. It’s likely you’re not emotionally available right now which is okay.
I hope you feel better soon.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick yeah bud I've applied for courts child access then a week later she served me with a non mol order. Both my defense snd child access have been put into one case. My hearing is this Friday im so nervous as I'm going alone
Why she going through the courts bud?
What if you were married so you tried for a couple months? But eventually gave in to the divorce. Now she won’t sign the papers after 45 days no contact. I don’t get it
Honestly, i don’t know. Only your ex will know the answer to that. People do immature things after making decisions based on emotions.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick You just hit the nail on the head. They usually do and the consequences of those decisions always come back and bite them in the azz HARD!!!
I begged and even sent her gifts for months. Is there a way to start no contact if I'm blocked? What do I do? She's dating another guy she works with and only hangs out with coworkers who are involved in this.
Just leave her alone and work on you my man. That’s all you can do. Get off her social media, stop asking about her and focus on you and your healing.
No contact is for getting your ex back. It’s for getting you back.
To Asians thinking, if ur spouse dates a new one, move on. Asians don't want stray dogs n cats. They r filthy.
Or is it just me ?
My ex broke up with me a week ago. She admitted to running out on me when her life is in a downward spiral and didn’t want me to have to deal with that. Because when she gets depressed it gets bad she said. And recently she told me she misses me, she regrets the decision made but she made it and has to deal with it. At this point what do I do? She took me off all social only have text messaging. But she hasn’t replied in 3 days. Can you tell me what’s going on?
Buddy, only your ex knows what’s going on her head. It’s a futile exercise to try and mind read the situation.
Try and focus your energy on you. Stay now, stay present and take one day at a time. I promise you’ll be fine.
But ponder. Why would you want to be with someone that checks out the second things get tough?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick so I get what you mean completely. I’m the giver and fixer in any of my relationships. So I had asked her “how would you feel if this was happening to you?” And her response to that was “I’d be hurt, it’s my toxic tendency.” And to me that response basically tells me she sees that as a normal thing and that’s just who she is so do you think she will ever change ?
Read or listen to a book called No More Mr Nice Guy.
Trust me. 😊
Im in the same exact situation.
Hey, are you on Google Podcasts?
I’m only on RUclips 😊
What if the person who rebounded is angry that out of their entire group of friends you're the only one that didn't call them to wish them happy birthday/holidays/whatever/etc...and they call YOU and tell you this themselves.
Can someone explain this to me 🤔?
Can you give more context please?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick They jump feet-first into a rebound relationship with someone who abandoned their spouse, and they still want you to call them several times a day with your whereabouts, what you're doing etc, who you're doing these things with, etc, and get mad at you when you don't. On their birthday/a holiday, they get mad at you for not calling them to wish them happy birthday/happy holidays. They also get mad when you tell them to change the subject when they want to tell you/talk about this person.
Bottom line...they are mad at you for not doing any of this so they call you and tell you.
If their rebound was sooooo great, why are they sooo preoccupied with everything you're doing?????
Sounds like you may be dealing with a narcissist. It may be advisable to completely block this person.
After 6 months, she tell me she was anxious and she don’t know what she wants and after that tell me she wants to be alone and know what, 2 weeks later, rebounds. She have a kids and poor kids. A lot of friends tell me after the honeymoon, and when everything would be done, she might be using is kids to reach out. I was very close with the kids, we played a lot together so… I know he cry when a speak with him the last time. Since the January 26, no txt no calls nothing. She’s 35 and I’m sure if at this age we can have the same feeling for the dumper. And can’t believe she can use is own kids to reach me like : he want to see you … you miss him so after all, I move on with myself, but sometimes i afraid if she do that:( ps sorry for my English!
I hear you buddy.
It will be okay, but stay away from this woman. She’s cancerous. You can and will do better. 💪💪😊😊
@@TheLoveFix-Nick i fall on her and is rebound last Friday… it’s hurt man.
Sorry to hear that buddy. You can’t control her, but you can take responsibility for how you feel and you respond. Better things are out there for you but you must do the work on yourself.
Hope you feel better.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick yess I feel okay, I work a lot right now on me and my health. It was horrible seeing her smile me like nothing… shake the hands… I was so angry inside me… can believe tomorrow, 4 months she left me. Can’t believe she love him just like that… a friends from FB she already know since so many years… why now? But… best thing to do is moving but I feel so empty!
@@TheLoveFix-Nick i don’t want to be back with her but I don’t know if the honeymoon phase and all stuff like that are truth.
How do dumpers get remorse IF they have been thinking about the breakup for a long time?
What we think and what we feel are two totally different things.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick She deleted my number/blocked me, no happy birthday text or call. I should just give up. Hard do to chase them in that case. I also don't use social media.
@@MrIlleismupdate?
Do the stages happen when they are in a rebound relationship, shes been in one for almost 5 months and the seem pretty happy with them but not with life, because her life has gone downhill since breaking up with me.
James, I would ask how do you have this information? We should try to know as little as possible about our exes. Ignorance is bliss in these cases.
Check out my video on.
Rebound Relationships | The 5 Stages The Dumper Goes Through
ruclips.net/video/8xUrnVdNXDQ/видео.html
@@TheLoveFix-Nick my friends keep bringing it/her up even though I ask them not to. I've asked them to just not mention her but they do and tell me things like that. And i know how long they've been dating because they started like 2 weeks after she broke up with me
Okay buddy.
Please tell your friends and the second they mention her name, cut them off.
Focus on you and you’re healing now. That’s all you can do. Try not to give your ex this energy and give it to yourself.
Ask yourself this. Why would you want to be with someone who would rather rebound than work things out with you?
The Love Fix is spot on bruv...why would u want someone who needs to explore another's body and mind in order to discover you were actually the one they wanted all along?? F that! Respect yourself. Grieve the process and make yourself better. You can want her but still have self respect and know in your heart that you are worth more. The person u want wont need a rebound in order. to get back with u.
How about the dumper left because the dumpee cheated on them? Would they necessarily have the same level or stages of buyer's remorse?
May be, May be not, but if there is cheating involved then I’d say it’s best to stay separated because you can’t ever get that trust back.
Shes dating someone now but reached out recently to ask if I have moved on. Why?
That’s a tough one buddy. I don’t know the answer to that. May be she is just curious? May be she is having doubts and seeing if you’re available. It could mean something, itcould mean nothing. My response to her message would be something like “ Hey. That’s a random question out of the blue. Why do you ask?”
Put the ball straight back into her court and eliminate the guess work. Be indifferent and act with curiosity. This sends the message of that it’s really none of your business but I’ll indulge you IF you explain yourself.
If she does reply and it’s NOT for reconciliation you can say something simple like
“ I’m working on a few personal projects and having fun doing it”
You’re being polite but spiking her curiosity.
If she keeps reaching out then i would suggest something a bit firmer like
“Hey, it’s great to hear from you but this isn’t working for me right now. I only want romance with you so please only reach out if you want to reconcile”
Set the terms and set your boundaries. It’s a statement of intent and it’s mature attractive response.
Shes seeking validation and an ego boost from you. She still thinks of u but not enough to go back to you...yet. dont ignore her, but dont give in to the ploy. Say something like, "Hi!...I've actually been so busy lately I havent had much time to think about it." Its the best thing u can do. I promise.
i bought her a phone for her birthday & financed it on AT&T.. should i pay off the phone?
I guess if you bought it as a gift, then yes. Don’t use it as ammunition.
No let her pay for it mine took me for everything why should you pay for it
What if theres an online friend that just hates me bc I acted like a loser months ago
Can you give more detail please?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick well we where playing overwatch some months ago and I just called him a cute name but this girl witch isnt one of his friends day to day life, but still kind of close friend kind off found it cringe and after that they dint invite me to play with them anymore but I still played with him alone most of the nights
Were you in a romantic relationship with this person?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick yes
No contact applies here buddy. Fix you. Focus on you. Level you up!
You see the pattern?
GET YOU BACK!
Hey Nick, I wonder if I ever reach out to them after some amount of time of no contact to establish connection again? (p.s i'm in a long distance relationship and she have a rebound)
Thank you so much!
Buddy, unless they reach out to you don’t say anything to them.
If they’re in a rebound, let them have it and let it implode on them.
You make a far stronger statement by giving them the gift of silence.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thank you so much, Nick. Coaches been telling me, since i'm in long distance, you should reach out and establish connection when you are healed so they don't think i'm still holding a grief towards her.
Thanks again.
I’d say the only time it’s okay to reach out is if you’ve moved on, you have no attachment to an outcome and you just want to catch up.
If you still have romantic feelings then you risk getting hurt again.
The dumper has to know there are consequences to their actions. They ended it that means no more relationship privileges.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thank you so much Nick!
Could I still go into no contact when my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child all want is us to work it out
Smart contact my friend. If she dumped you then you only talk about the baby and the arrangements for you to be active in the babies life.
Do your bit to support with baby stuff, nothing more.
I guess you could bring this up IF things are going well, because you’re having a baby together. But my friend, raising a baby is tough in a stable relationship. It’s close to impossible if you’re trying to reconcile.
I guess it’s worth one last shot because of your unique situation, but the chances of you getting rejected again are high.
How long does the relief stage last? And when does it start usually?
There is no real answer to that. It takes as long as it takes and thats why i tell people not to wait around and start levelling up.
I was going to listen to your video, but then you started recommending the clot shot. That poison will eventually destroy what health you did have. Look into ways to detox that crap out if your system before it dies worse damage. Good luck to you🙏🏻
Feel free to detox yourself away from my context. I wish you well.
6:09
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Will this work regardless of whatever caused the break up? Excluding cheating.
Can you provide more details? One small paragraph will be fine,
He left me saying even though he was happy, he could never feel content.
But you know what? He used to be so obsessed and possessive over me and he suddenly changed :( after making me fall for him head over heals
I see. This doesn’t sound like an emotional stable person.
That said, no one make you do anything. Your feelings for him are your responsibility and that’s your super power. Armed with that knowledge, you begin to heal.
It sounds like it maybe did you a favour. How can he love your or anyone rise? When he clearly doesn’t love himself?
This hurts to hear ngl, but broadened my vision 🙏🏻 thank you Coach
I know it’s super painful 😩
But we need pain to be happy.
Highly recommend a book called the subtle art of not giving a fuck. It helped me a lot.
Does this work even after 8 an year relationship break up?
It’s hard to say without knowing your particular situation, but most dumpers do question their decision at some point. Whether they come back or not is a different story. But certainly after 8 year, they don’t just forget and they will revisit the relationship in their head. If this is a recent breakup, the dumper will be resolute in their decision making so just leave them alone. In the meantime focus on you, your healing, and levelling up. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this but I promise you will be fine.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Thank you ...there were many variables in our relationship like we had a age gap of like 10 years etc it is recent last October gone..Your channel is great ! It's keeping me going.
Glad i could help. :)
"Not today, Satan."
Loved that.
Contact him on WhatsApp ...
My ex is the one who dumped me, he asked to keep in touch then reached out a couple of times following the breakup but I didn't show any interest in this new form of relationship so he completely disappeared, not that I'm reaching out or anything, but he no longer reads the messages on group chats we're both in on social media or sees my stories it's like he's dead. He apparently doesn't even talk to our mutual friends. It's been a month now!
Also I need to give him back a big amount of money he gave me (ironically 1 days before leaving me) and I truly just want to give it to him, I don't feel ready to take contact with him as I still some time for myself and I wonder if he'd consider this like me trying to put on a conversation.
I’m sorry to hear that Sara.
It’s okay to reach out and discuss the money you want to pay back. Keep it strictly business and only talk about the relationship if he brings it up.
I hope you feel better.
What if she wasn't giving me any respect, stop having sex and didn't want to take my feelings into consideration. Every breakup is different and unique.. I never wanted to leave my ex, I want to marry her. She didnt want to compromise and respect my boundaries.
Don’t be the go to person for the person you can’t go to.
If she didn’t want to compromise and respect your boundaries then you’re right for each other.
will they realize they're mistakes ? if you leave them alone?
I’m not buddy. Learning from mistakes is highly individual, but they will certainly notice your absence.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick i mean will they notice their mistakes too? like you did in the grieving stage where you reflect to those things that happened?
It really depends on the individual my friend. Perception of reality is highly subjective. But I would say most people do reflect at one stage or another.
This normally takes months to take into effect
It can do yes, and even then they may not come back. That is way it is best to leave them alone and focus all the energy on yourself.
Play Stupid games and win stupid prices.
I love your content but you constantly stress barring any type of abuse. I would argue that there’s a massive percentage of relationships that end, because of some form of abuse on either side, whether that be physical, mental, emotional or whatever. Everybody knows you don’t condone abuse I don’t think most people do. But as wonderful as this video and advice is, I feel like it along with many other videos make a huge majority of your followers feel like they’re excluded myself included. And naturally those that end relationships simply due to a loss of attraction or something silly like that only proves it was never much of a relationship in the first place. Let’s be real. Those are most likely Situationships with two immature college type kids playing with their options.. real long-term relationships only end due to something not OK
I hear you, however, the content is general. I cannot account for every unique situation. That’s what the one to one sessions are for. 😊
very good
😂👍
Loved the voice acting Nick 😆
Its been 31 days since my break up. I have not contacted her but she has for 3 reasons.
1. I left an expensive bracelet at hers. She found it and said she'd post it recorded delivery. I replied with a simple thank you.
2. She messaged me to say one of my mates is creeping her out DMing her. I replied that's unfortunate block him.
3. Contacted me again to say she'll finally send me my bracelet. I replied thank you. She said hope you are OK. I said yes thanks. She also said she's deleting me from snapchat as she don't want to be seen as 'snooping' on me? I said yes no problem.
Still no bracelet 😅 I have her on no social media now so its full radio silence.
What you think to that Nick? Hope you feel better buddy!
I know right? I should be on tv with that level of voice acting! 😂
I think you’ve handled that well buddy.
My only critique would’ve been this.
“I’m good thanks, I hope you’re okay to”
As for her “I’m taking you off Snapchat” protesting with a hint of passive aggressiveness much? 🙄
Stick to your guns man.
If she reaches out with something more meaningful and you’re okay with it, match her level of conversation. If she’s asks how you are “yeah, all good in the hood. Working on some personal projects. What’s new with you?”
If she engages then great. If not, straight back into no contact.
In the meantime focus on you my man.
💪💪💪
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thanks for the reply mate much appreciated. I'll take that critique on board for sure. I think radio silence will help loads now.
Keep up the content mate you really don't know how much it helps all of these broken hearts across the globe. I'll come back in a few years when you are up at 1m subscriptions and celebrate with you. Thanks Nick
Appreciate it buddy.
This channel exists because of a personal trauma. If it can help others then it was worth it.
Appreciate your support brother.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick weird one, I've got her unfriended everywhere except WhatsApp. She put a status up (never done one before) taking a brutal dig at me (wtf) and she's becoming really pally with a male friend she met through me. She seems to be trying to catch my attention by being vengeful. Strange one
No oxygen buddy.
It’s her personal responsibility to how she acts out. Not your problem.
If she wants to talk like a balanced, mature adult then she can reach out.
Passive aggressive status updates is not a sign of maturity. Pity her.
i liked the video until u told me to get a vaccine lol
I know that nothing is set in stone, but what if the other person checked out of the relationship half a year (or more) earlier and continued to use you as a pair of emotional crutches when insecure, entertainment, when bored, an alternative to loneliness, and an ATM of physical intimacy when horny, do the same stages still apply? I have no desire to reconcile, i am day 2 of trying to focus on my self with a very bleak outlook ( I'm a diagnosed Bipolar type 2 male) so my outlook on life, myself and my ex changes every hour, but... I am committed to moving on forever. She has been extremely toxic and is trying to be purposefully hurtful and cruel, and is already rebounding. I have a feeling you'll say that I should focus on myself and of course that there are no guarantees in life. But i would just like an iota of solace in the fact, that maybe - just maybe - after or during her flings she'll have an ounce of regret.
I know i'm still tying my self-worth to her but for now, i really hope that can happen, it's only day 2.
The short version of my question is : Do the emotionally checked out who have had the time to "grieve" the relationship? (when? Seriously, when? It was like a fun roller coaster ride for her) ever experience any of these stages?
Thank you.
I think you’ve answered your question in your question there buddy.
I’ll ask you this. What difference does it make to your life if she’s feeling regret or not? It doesn’t really change your situation does it?
The only person who change you feel buddy is you.
Are getting treatment for your bipolar?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Thanks for your reply Nick. At the moment, it feels like a drop of water in a desert if she actually does regret it even a bit. Because for the last 3 years my entire day has revolved around her. I know that was wrong and bad for me, and I know that moving forward whatever she thinks or does should not be my problem at all. But at this moment the thought of her just sliding into a new relationship with a “normal” person without the possibility of her rebound eventually imploding because of unprocessed emotions on her part, is just unbearable. I know I need to get over that, but i’m just not at that phase yet. Yes I am getting treatment for my Bipolar i’ve been medicated since 2012. Thanks again.
You feel how you feel man and that’s always okay.
When you spend your entire time devoted to someone else’s happiness you neglect your own. Imagining what she is doing will drive you crazy. Also define normal! I’d argue you no one is normal. We are all unique people which doesn’t classify as normal.
Focus on you and the possibility of you getting with someone new, but you must do the work on yourself first man. It’s scary, tough and sometimes just painful. But we take pain today so we can feel better tomorrow.
Every second spent on her, is a second you could’ve spent on your own progress. Imagine where you’d be if you put all that energy into yourself.
I promise, you’ll be okay.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I’m a skeptical, take nothing at face value kind of guy, but I really needed to hear that. Thank you for that Nick. Truly.
You’re doing great buddy. Baby steps. You’ll get there.
The sound quality is awful
You’re welcome. 😊
You’re welcome! 😈🤣