I appreciate when you share both your light and shadows, Fran. You always lift my spirits...and yes, we want to know and I really feel it's so special the way you let us in. My dad had dementia, too. Sending my heart ❤
I'm so sorry about your dad. Losing a parent--even one you've had a complicated relationship with--is really hard. I'm glad you're having the opportunity to have some kind of positive relationship with him before he passes though.
I like to think that on your father's journey he is able to reveal that part of himself that was hidden inside and is able to share in this window of time his love and humor (most importantly for you to see and share it with him). I think of it as a reveal that morphs before the final stage, and I hope that you know it was always in there inside him. He perhaps just never knew or let himself express it due to his blockers that perhaps only lifted when his brain shifted. I don't know. I'm no expert, but I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you created a world and community through your art. 🥰
It’s so hard to have to watch a loved one go through dementia. I lost my Papi in 2019 due to Alzheimer’s he was only 63 when it passed and it broke my heart into a million pieces. He meant the world to me! And it hurts to know that he never got to know my two daughters. I know they would have loved him so much. It’s wonderful that you were able to share your emotional journey and don’t feel bad about doing so. Sending love and light! You will be able to get through this.
La vida es dulce y triste a la vez. Mi abuelo murió de Alzheimer y entiendo cada palabra que transmites. La mejor etapa de la relación con él fue justamente la misma que tú. Es duro Fran, pero la vida te dio otra oportunidad de juntarte con él y cerrar un vínculo como siempre debe ser con profundo amor y cariño. La vida nos da lecciones tristes pero esperanzadoras a la vez ❤
I'm crying rn, so much. I'm really touched that you share your struggles with us. It's been a few years since I've followed you and you have this powerful way to share your emotions with such grace, emotional intelligence. Tbh, I'm still amazed by this ability to be vulnerable but in a way so beautiful. It's overwhelming to be one of your followers. But in a good way. You keep reminding me how life is complexe, hard but also so beautiful, so raw. I feel so human after watching you. You're really a blessing to RUclips. Keep being your true self. Our blessing.❤ I send you all the strength needed and all my thoughts. Thank you for Fran❤
Wow you describe it so well "You keep reminding me how life is complexe, hard but also so beautiful, so raw. I feel so human after watching you." These words are so exact! I hope Fran reads your comment...
Tip for cheaper framing: Custom framing is very expensive, but if your pictures are standard-sizes, you can get much cheaper ready-made frames in store. If you make your own art, it's definitely worth it to choose paper sizes that fit standard frames. :)
I know it isn't easy,but I hope you know that there are people(me especially) who find comfort when you talk about sad things. It can be really comforting hearing someone just being real with their feelings and not just focusing on the happy bits of their life. Your videos are actually the only things comforting me right now since most of the RUclipsrs I subscribe to aren't as real. That isn't to say you should only post sad stuff,but that I hope you know that showing the real sides of you isn't burdening your audience. Thank you for being gaining the courage to be real with us.
I'm so sorry about your dad. I had a similar experience with my dad. He stopped drinking when he got cancer for the second time, and he changed so much, he turned into a kind and respectful man and the dad I always wished I had (and knew was in there somewhere). I had that dad for 1.5 years before he died. It is super bittersweet and very hard. Sending you so much love 💖
Your Videos are ALWAYS refreshing...we love knowing how you're doing. I'm so sorry about your Dad's diagnosis but at the same time..this is a gift for you..his child. My Dad has dementia for about 6 years..although I believe he had it longer...eventually he passed but we have the best stories of his behavior..both good and bad and very funny...and we all connected with with him in our own personal ways...I'm glad you're having this experience with your Dad..this was his life path..and yours is yours..and every day we choose how we want to see our situations!!! Love you Fran!!! xo
oh, man, never a dull moment with the dichotomy of life’s offerings lately i’ve been thinking the only thing i need to master in life is how to embrace it all as it comes while i take care of myself so i am be able to navigate through it to the best of my capacities i admire how you cultivate this in you and try to make sense and meaning of it all one step at a time, right? some experiences we’re given gather depth and meaning over long periods of time, we need to be patient on a lighter note, your blue shorts pants gave me life, i need my own pair now and a dance off session:) hug, thank you for sharing
I really appreciate your discussion of dementia and your relationship with your dad. I haven't heard of many young people discuss this topic (we usually think of our grandparents having dementia). I'm so sorry for this difficult chapter in your life.
Fran 🥺 Una amiga me dijo un día, estudiaste diseño y cosas artísticas porque tu clan familiar necesitaba expresar todo lo que no ha podido, creo que eso es lo más complicado de ver porque amamos crear. Creo que lo que intento decirte es que eso que me dijo mi amiga, me hace pensar que ahora que tu padre está expresándote todo eso que tal vez no podía, tu expresividad está como reajustandose, o no shé, fue en lo primero que pensé cuando te escuché, espero que fuera de ese duelo, estés bien, un abrazo nena.
I had a dificult relation with muy father too. He has a ver y strong caracter. But sometimes illness turns relations. We had the oportunity to make peace, and, for me, that is priceless.
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I have worked with dementia patients and I know how heartbreaking it is for their families to watch them "disappear". My heart goes out to you. Take good care of yourself and treasure the positive aspect of this, however short-lived.
Hi Fran :) in the aftermath of my father's similar illness and his passing I came across a quote I carry with me all the time: "what does gratitude feel like? ....like the touch of a parent, when you only have one left" ....I don't remember where it's from or by whom I scribbled it down and I dedicated to my Father. Wishing you all the best, strength, courage and time to heal ❤!!!
Fran, Your story about your Dad is so familiar to me. After years of not seeing my Mom I did go when I learned she had Dementia. I was so thankful I did because not even 6 months later she passed away. I won't say she changed, but with the disease her edges were softer. But you're right there is a sense of mortality present there. Thanks for sharing your story.
Dear Fran,we love you just the way you are and we are all here for you as your safety net. I am so sorry about your dad,i am going through the same thing with my dying mother at the moment. Sending you warm hugs!!! Continue to be you, love your big heart and humor and warmth!!!
i am so sorry to hear about your dad. My father was also diagnosed with dementia a year ago and and the parallel universe you described was also what I felt at first. i send you lots of strength and courage.
Thank you for sharing with us. ❤My grandma passed away few years ago. She started with dementia, and she slowly withered away. She eventually couldn't move or talk anymore. Even though she was in another state from me, it was pretty painful to see how she changed. Dementia changed her personality, and she became very soft and mellow. That made her try to somehow communicate with me more and often feeling depressed.
Podes trauma dump todo lo que quieras Fran. Escucharte hablar de las cosas difíciles ayuda mucho. Yo también he estado con depresión y escucharte hablar de ello me sirvió para entender muchas cosas que me pasaban a mi. Igual que toda tu trayectoria artística
My grandmother had dementia and it really resonated with me when you talked about it being the “relatives disease”. It is incredibly hard for those around the person with dementia. One thing my mom really struggled with was acquaintances who knew the person my grandmother was before who didn’t understand that she was someone else afterwards. Typing this out I’m not sure it’s comforting in the least but I hope you can feel that you are less alone in this. Thinking of you ❤
My grandmother had dementia for the last 10 years before she died in 2020. She got worse along the years and she lived with my family while we cared for her (mostly my dad), she forgot who people were, lost her ability to form sentences, got angry out of frustration at not being able to articulate herself or understand things. She was bedridden the last few years, but she would have brief moments of lucidity where she would say she loves us or ask about her siblings and kids. It's hard to witness and deal with, and for you not having a good relationship with him before is so conflicting. You're allowed to feel complicated about it, and confused about how to feel. You have a very kind heart and I hope you find clarity and peace with this. I know how hard it can be.
Fran, you don't need to apologize! It's really special this kind of friendship that you build with us by showing all the parts of your life and stages that you are personally! I'm so sorry about your dad facing dementia while you two are having the opportunity to be closer! My grandmother has Alzheimer even though it's a different disease, her personality has changed a lot since she started to have the symptoms, so I can relate somehow with what you're saying. Thank you for talking with us in a challenging moment in your life! I wish you, your dad, and your family a lot of comfort. Please also rest and take your time! 💛💛
Fran, I've watched you since England. I am so sorry you are going through this. I, too, have a father at early dimentia. He's 81. He has always been my biggest supporter. I have begged him for years to write his experience with life down, but he is so humble, he doesn't see the value. But I would recommend any time you have with him, record videos. You will have him in this dimension still in a lovely way. Big hugs, chica.
Wow I am so sorry about your dad, Fran! In the midst of the pain you’re sharing I feel so deeply for you and also admire the fact that you will get to have this beautiful memory with him that you didn’t get to experience before early in both of your lives. As always, so happy to see you in this space and see glimpses of your life!
my partner's mum has frontotemporal dementia, which means her speech went first, so it's even harder to tell how confused she is 😞 it's wonderful that any kind of positive thing could have come out of it for you, you will have something good to remember, it's ok to appreciate that ❤️
I'm so sorry to hear that. My grandma had dementia and when she died, I almost felt like I had already mourned her (although another round of grief surely came a short after). She was quite difficult when she was younger, very critical and harsh, and it hurt and pushed people away. When she was ill she got softer and it was almost like it was the opportunity to say goodbye properly and almost like she could put her wall down emotionally. Mucho amor desde España Xx
Mom has dementia. She was just diagnosed with dementia in June. I totally understand everything you are saying about your dad. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤❤❤
My dad also had dementia, his change of personality was difficult. My experience was the opposite of yours. We were very close. He was very affectionate, and always supportive/ loving my entire life until dementia set in. Unfortunately I realized 6 years ago that he was forgetting things, not everyone (family members) experienced it. Then covid happened and we could not be together. His body and mind declined a lot during this time. When I was able to see him after covid restrictions were lifted he was so different. I had to accept that he would never be the same. I missed him every time I was with him. He was seldom capable of giving comfort or support during the last 3 years of his life, but there were a few moments when he was affectionate. It was emotional. You mourn the person they were if you were close and it's very strange because you do not know how to express it to people. Fran, you are not alone in having difficulty processing it. I think your dad being softer may be a blessing for you and your family. In Dec. of 2022 my dad passed. I think of him so often. I also know the dementia took so much of him. I will forever miss the father that I had before the dementia took hold. Fran, maybe you can hold this softer version of your dad in your heart and mind. Thanks for sharing.
I suddenly lost my dad 4 months ago because of cancer, I feel you, girl. This moment will shape our future selves in a way we cannot predict, a friend of mine told me it's like a revolution and I hope, after all the sadness and this emotional black hole, we will both get a bit of peace. Big hug!
Thinking of you through this journey! My abusive father had a similar change with dementia and we built a new relationship during his time with it that I never imagined possible. He has since passed away and I’m still growing through my grief daily.
I'm so sorry about your dad. My grandma has dementia and has been getting worse over the past 9 months, with her behavior/personality changing more as her memory goes... It's hard to not only not know when might be the last time I'll see her, but also when might be the last time she'll see me and know who I am.
Wow! What a difficult moment of grace and forgiveness you are living in. These days will strengthen you and create precious memories. Be kind to yourself because these adjustments to your relationship with your father must be so difficult. All family dynamics are hard. Sending you prayers. PS Your hair looks great!
What you’re going through sounds so tough and such a challenge. I had never considered how dementia could affect your relationship with someone in such a significant way. Thank you for sharing both the highs and lows of your life with us. As someone who also has depression, I appreciate how honest you are and the awareness you bring ❤️
I totally get you, Fran, about your situation with your dad. My father was very similar and, after my mother's death, my dad was far more nice and kind and compassionate. Then, he had a major stroke at age 82 and he moved in with me. So, it was like my childhood moving in which was tough. When he went into a nursing home, I had several months with him before he died where I could accept him as a person beyond my dad and could connect with him in such a loving way that I hadn't before. My only advice is don't worry so much about the loss to come but cherish the golden moments that you finally got to experience. Nothing lasts forever but it's such a blessing that you ARE getting this holy time with him and who he is in this moment. I'll be praying for you and him as he transitions and you accept the loss of both versions of him. Hugs from Northern California, Fran.
I lost my dad to dementia and he was gone but still living. He didnt know who I was when he passed and so I said goodbye when he was alive. I do know that feeling…thanks for sharing..its been over 15 yrs since left and I dance with his spirit everyday
I feel you. I lost my dad as well. And we havn't had the best relationship for a big part of my life. He got leukemia and died 10 months later. These 10 months have been the best but of course also most terrible days in my life. We bonded so strongly at that time. And we never felt so much joy, at the same time pain. His last week was the most intense feel of love in my life, the bond was like an iron chain. He wasn't really there anymore but at the same time so very present. There were just me and him. I was holding his hand while he did his last breath and I felt so honored and blessed. There were just love, nothing else, just neverending, unconditional love. And while it hurts, these last months have been a gift and the knowledge that I was able to be at his side made me feel so very strong. I think this feeling was his last gift for me. I wish you and your family all the best, all the strength and also all the joy you can have together. Celebrate the good days and be powerful at those bad days. Lots of love!
Te entiendo tanto Fran, mi abuelo murió hace dos años, también tenía demencia, pero al él, por el contrario, le cambio el comportamiento para peor, fueron años muy duros y difíciles para mí mientras él enfrentaba su enfermedad. Te mando mucho amor y mucha fuerza
Thank you for sharing what's going on Fran. I can empathise with family issues - I am estranged from some of my family. And yes dementia is a very painful illness for those close to the person with dementia. I think it's important to talk about these things and be open, so we can all connect and I think it helps people also going through it. Your vlogs are beautiful, creative, and honest. That's a gift x
I'm sorry you're going through this with your dad. I lost my mum to early onset dementia. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you can be gentle with yourself through this
The really nice moments you had with your dad amidst this tragedy is a blessing in disguise/silver lining. Whatever time left God has given to spend with loved ones who are ebbing away, cherish those moments. It is a gift.
My father just passed away from what your father is going thru. Just like you my relationship with my father wasn't the greatest. I finally got to know him, as he began forgetting the things that made him himself, including me. It's a complicated time to go through. Having thing like your video help take the small steps to make it thru. To hear it from others and express it yourself. Thank you.
my father had alzheimer's and dementia before he had passed (smoking lung cancer) the disease takes away the frontal cortex and the underlying personality is usually revealed. their "true" self can either be passive or can be dangerously aggressive. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
From the perspective of sharing responsibly with your audience, I think you did a great job! You didn’t trauma dump at all. You prefaced giving us a life update and mentioned it was going to be a bummer, already allowing us to prepare ourselves and make the decision if have the space for the information right now. If not, the best part about videos like this, is that people can always stop watching, or come back later too. I hope you can continue to process and grieve with surrounded by support and love
So sorry to hear about your father. My dad also had dementia, and although we were not super close it was so hard to eventually say goodbye. Wishing you all the best ❤
Dear Fran, others have said this but while heartbreaking, this opportunity to have a loving father at last is a gift which also means that you may be able to remember him lovingly, healing for you too. Nothing comes from nothing so this version of him must have been hiding inside all the time. Having said that, I'm so sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard.
Life is so beautiful, life is so cruel. I'm so sorry you're losing your dad. I recently lost my husband after several months of illness. You said it perfectly... it's soul-crushing and earth-shattering. I'll be thinking of you. Take care. P.S. I'm a cat mom, too. Your Hamburguesa reminds me of my Adagio. 🐈⬛❣️
I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad. My grandma is suffering in her old age, shes slowly losing weight despite "nothing" being wrong and I too feel like I have to say goodbye while shes alive. It's so sad to know that our loved ones are dying. I completely empathize. Much love from New Hampshire.
god Fran I'm so sorry about your dad that is such a devastating emotional rollercoaster of getting to know and love a man you didn't get that love from before only to have that ripped from you and just waiting for it to happen? Just awful I'm so sorry, hoping you and your family can find peace, sending hugs
I'm SO proud of you for fixing the lamp yourself! On the parent note: I can't watch the rest of the video - it's difficult for me. But, my heart is with you regarding your Father. Both of my parents passed at the end of 2020 - about 6 weeks apart. My Dad and I did not have a great relationship. We didn't know he would die - it sort of happened suddenly. I mourn that relationship we didn't get to have because he was not a happy person. He could be very unkind to me - and my Mom. I know that it was a product of a childhood that he didn't choose - and that as an adult his coping mechanism is what killed him (drinking) - that he could've chosen to get help but didn't...and the result of that is a missed opportunity to have a healthy, loving relationship. It's kind of weird because I mourn my parents differently. I mourn my Mom's presence - because she was...my Mom. The best Mom. I miss her everyday. But I miss the *possibilities* my Dad and I lost when he died. That there is no recovery for him to have - that will repair our relationship. It's just so weird. It's weird to be a child with a dying parent. I got one good day with my Mom before she became *not* my Mom anymore (she had brain cancer). It was tough to watch that deterioration happen over a mere two weeks - from the time we found out to the time she passed. Do whatever you can - for you. It's going to be tough. But - you've got this. You can do it. You can survive through to the other side
I have to say, I understand that your channel isn't just content, it is a record of your experiences. So talking about things that are difficult to talk about is ok. I am so sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis and I am glad that you and he have this moment to re-connect. It'll be ok Fran. ❤❤
You’re so brave for sharing your journey!! It’s hard having a family member with dementia, my grandfather had it and it was super hard but the beautiful part about life is we were all able to be there for him. Stay strong and I wish you and your family many Amazon g moments with your father. 🫶🏻
I love your channel and so sorry to hear about your dad's illness. Grief is complicated and not fun at all. I hope you find a way to keep strength in these trying times. Thanks for being open about your experience and sharing this!
I’m very sorry to hear about your mental health and about your dad’s health. My grandfather had Alzheimer’s and the dementia was a terrible part of it. Sending you happy thoughts and good vibes 💗💗
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, I know you made this video a few months ago so things might have changed now. My dad died of Lewy Body Dementia a few years ago so I can relate. The dementia initially increased all of his worst traits and reduced his good traits making him difficult to be around, but in his last year he mellowed a lot and I really value the time I spent with him. It just feels very sad that he couldnt have lived longer, I miss him. It is very difficult, surreal and upsetting seeing a parent get sick and pass away, I think its good you shared it. So often people online only show the positives and it can feel alienating. I would like to throw the phrase 'trauma dump' in the rubbish as it makes people feel guilty for having problems and wanting to talk about them. By the way I'm currently reading Moominpapa at Sea, Tove Jansson is such an inspiration.
Fran, siento mucho lo de tu papá💔, te mando un abrazo enorme. Yo perdí a mi papá el 18 de julio y la verdad mi salud mental se fue en picada luego de eso y estoy luchando para recuperarme, tus videos siempre me ayudan a calmar la ansiedad, me da una alegría enorme cuando veo que hay un video tuyo nuevo, gracias por hacerme compañía ❤️
sending a lot of love your way, Fran. You are so brave and I appreciate and respect how much you trust us to tell us these hard parts of your life. As someone who's had complicated relationships with their parents/grandparents, I understand what you mean. It's so incredibly soul crushing. I wish you and your family so much luck and love. Make sure to be extra kind to yourself. You deserve it ❤
Fran, this is my first comment on here. I usually just watch and enjoy your world but this feels different. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. It is highly appreciated. I know how hard it is to lose a father (lost mine when I was fourteen) and still can't begin to understand the pain you must feel. Sending you all my love ❤
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you’re going through that but also it’s hard that at the same time I’m glad you’re able to have a positive time with him.
Hey Fran, Im writing from Germany, havent had any contact with my father for over 6 years and all of a sudden he came back into my life just before christmas last year with multiple uncurable cancer diagnoses well-knowing that he is going to pass away in the near future. I understand how difficult it is to develop a relationship with someone in that situation. Obviously his sicknesses have taken a massive toll on him and his mental state. Im also getting to know him again and losing him again, so I really understand how you feel. Its heartbreaking and horrible and juggling personal and professional life is such a struggle. I really hope you can find a way to make a few memories that can last, even if its just glimpses of something you could never have with him before. If theres any anger or sadness connected with him because he couldnt be there for you in your past my counsellor recommended writing a virtual letter to him (never sending it or letitng him know) and then reading through it again to find out what you can give to yourself these days and how you can provide yourself with everything now - as a grown woman - that he couldnt help you with back then. I guess it can be very empowering to try. Im sending you a virtual hug, you're not alone.
Fran I'm so sorry to hear about this. It takes a lot of strength to experience these and be a survivor. I'm proud of you. The interesting part, and the part where I relate to what you said, is that I, too, had to leave a relationship that I loved very much a few days ago. We still love each other very much, but sometimes some people are only in your heart, not in your life. I wanted to share this with you. Hug yourself very tightly. 🦋
I completely understand what you are talking about - my grandma was very egotistical and harsh and self-absorbed and after the alzheimers kicked in she became much nicer and gave us the chance to see her as a more complex person - we think the alzheimers "ate" the part of the brain that held the trauma that made her the way she was - it is not easy, but hopefully this time will have its nice moments as well ❤
It's also very brave to speak about such intimate topics online, and I feel very privileged to hear it. I lost my mom a few years ago, and it's not easy to carry this pain every day. I love your vlogs for what they are: beautifully honest and an intimate travel through your everyday life! I'm glad I'm able to be here and give you my support ❤
Creo que puede dar uno de los dos lados, hay personas como mi abuela que con demencia se ha vuelto mucho mas cruel, agresiva y ruda... cada caso ocurre de manera diferente. Pero gracias por compartirlo, no tengas miedo es normal a veces pensar en que nos sentiremos juzgados por los demás, siempre estaremos para un apoyo cybernetico. Gracias por tu contenido y tu vuelta a brok; siempre los disfruto.
thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and painful experience. I had a very similar experience when my grandmother developed dementia, whom myself and particularly my mother had had a very difficult relationship with (often strained because of her narcissism and cruelty) until she was transformed by the disease into someone who was able to be affectionate and loving. It was almost disconcerting and hard to adjust to, for me. But the point is, what a gift of healing at the end of that persons life to forgive, to love them and see them in a new light. The dementia itself is not a gift of course, it's a horrible degenerative disease, but without which you would perhaps not have had this opportunity to know and to love your father. When he passes , I hope you will have the peace of reconciliation as some console. Sending you love xx
It’s wonderful and bittersweet that you get to heal a bit of your relationship with your Dad. I miss my parents everyday and would love to have one more day with them to tell them things I never told them when they were here. Even though I had a relatively normal relationship with my Dad, I don’t think it matters, there are always things left unsaid, things we wish we said or did differrently. So, be kind to yourself and know that parents… they don’t intentionally want to hurt their children. We just sometimes forget that they are human with flaws and hardships and trying to work life out the same way we do. Thank you for sharing this with us, and including us in your little pocket of the world. Love and light to you, Fran x
I'm really sorry to hear that your dad is going through this.. Even if you don't have a very fond relationship with him, he's still family. I understand what it feels like since my mother has had schizophrenia since as I was a child. She doesn't even think I'm her daughter and her mood swings have been a regular part of our lives. She suffered a brain stroke 10 years ago and became paralyzed & last year she suffered another one and now she can only move her head.. Can't even speak. But I love her and I will be beside her for the rest of her life. I love her and it doesn't matter if she doesn't recognize me at times. By God's grace, she is alive and well. Thats what's important to us. Stay strong, Fran.
Thank you for sharing this fran, i had seen your videos the last six/seven years and makes sad to see that you are going tru all of this, i hope you will better and i hope you can enjoy as many moments as possible with your father the time will be with us ❤
Thanks for the share ... My mum past away this time last year and my dad has not been the same, obviously but no Dementia yet but I feel how you are feeling
So sorry about your father and you having to navigate this new dynamic. Complicated father child relationships and loss are really mentally challenging. To open your heart knowing it will be broken is a VERY BIG LOVE offering both to yourself and him and I am so proud of you and your willingness to be with it and do the hard things. It is a beautiful thing thank you for sharing it.Continue to be brave and contemplate what you need from this to meet your inner child and the person you will be when he leaves this earth and I think you will then be fine. I lost my father last year and I made a point of asking myself what do I need from this time now and later and how can I get what I need and say what I need while I have the chance...and what am I able to offer him? I am wishing you both the best of luck during this hard time.
Hey Fran, thank you for your beautiful vulnerability. Most of the time I think about so many details, I forget that things like dementia exist. You being so honest with us makes me feel more grounded in both joy and pain. I live far away from my parents and one of my worst fears is something happening to them while I'm not there which is very very likely. A lot of times they only share things with me - like small operations or doctor visits only after they've already happened. I imagine it must be tough for you too. Sending you a very tight hug
Me pasó lo mismo con mi abuela. Ella tuvo con nosotros un trato muy áspero, con episodios de depresión que finalmente desencadenaron en una demencia precoz, además de otros problemas graves de salud. Me quido mucho y no supo comunicarlo hasta que volvió a sentirse una niña desvalida que ya no recordaba nada, sólo experimentaba el momento real. 😢 Muchísimo ánimo. Te queremos, Fran.❤
Sending ❤️ to you and your Dad. Thank you for trusting us with your difficult journey. You have a safe place, a shelter in the community you have built here. 🙏🏼
Thank you for updates, it was important and not a trauma dumping! II want to express my sympathy and at the same time congratulate you on finding a parent... Maybe it is a good time for Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist series, it's a musical and comedy and also tradegy of a young woman who's dad dies.
Hola Fran, fui a tu primer taller en Sevilla, seguía tu canal desde hace un tiempo antes de eso. Me acuerdo que llegué tarde y me ofreciste un abrazo. Mi vida ha cambiado mucho como artista, migrante y en este momento que me acaban de diagnosticar ayer una enfermedad autoinmune, aprecio más que nunca que compartas tus experiencias personales porque me inspiran y me hace sentir de cierta forma que no estoy sola y que la vulnerabilidad es valiosa, y que vivir cosas dolorosas o complicadas es normal y parte de vivir. Aunque estemos pasando por momentos difíciles, confío en que todo saldrá bien, y al ver esto solo te digo que me encantaría volver a la Galería Roja a tu taller y devolverte ese abrazo ❤
Hello, Fran! I'm sorry you are going through this hard time. Mi abuela tuvo Alzheimer cuando yo era pequeña, nunca la conocí como realmente fue pero vi a mi mamá, a sus hermanos y a mi abuelo sufrir por ello. Sé lo dificil que es lo que estas pasando. Te mando un abrazo desde México 🩷
AY Fran, como te entiendo, mi padre de repente sufrió un aneurisma en el mismo momento que decidí irme a vivir de nuevo al sur de España con mi familia. He necesitado terapia porque, en un sentido figurativo y algo alreves de lo que te pasa a ti, mi padre dejó de ser el mismo para ser una persona dependiente. Debido a la traqueotomia no habla, susurra, y estoy loca por volverlo a oír. He necesitado terapia y aún estoy en ello, pero...si es aterrador pensar que puede repetirse o que no va a durar eternamente que probablemente se vaya más pronto que tarde, pero...precisamente por eso, cada beso que le doy, cada abrazo, cada sonrisa, cada palabra que compartimos, me alienta a seguir disfrutando de él hasta el final...se por lo que estas pasando y se te entiende perfectamente, simplemente lleva tu luto, y atesora esta segunda oportunidad, porque lo es...❤ un abrazo enorme!
Sending love to you, Fran. No need to apologize for sharing the colors of your heart - I feel blessed to know you better. It’s courageous to reveal our truths - your authenticity gives us courage to express ourselves honestly too. Bless you, beloved. Sending light to you and your family 🩵🕊️
My former partner's dad became nicer after a stroke. So much so that there was a mend between him and his sons after many years. His dad actually apologized. It's not exactly the same thing but I do think there is a benefit for some when a part of the brain that holds trauma stops having a strangle-hold on the person. I absolutely love your videos. I hope you'll always feel comfortable sharing with us. It's a wonderful thing. We're all human beings trying to relate to each other and the more we realize we share these unusual but not so unusual scenarios, the more connected we can be and the less alone we can all feel. I also love your vlogs. You inspire me to do more beautiful things in my home every single time.
I appreciate when you share both your light and shadows, Fran. You always lift my spirits...and yes, we want to know and I really feel it's so special the way you let us in. My dad had dementia, too. Sending my heart ❤
thank you Holly Marie!
I'm so sorry about your dad. Losing a parent--even one you've had a complicated relationship with--is really hard. I'm glad you're having the opportunity to have some kind of positive relationship with him before he passes though.
thank you David!!
Oh no :’(
"There's no polite way of bringing up mental health or tough life situations".
So true, unfortunately! Thank you for playing a part in changing that.
I like to think that on your father's journey he is able to reveal that part of himself that was hidden inside and is able to share in this window of time his love and humor (most importantly for you to see and share it with him). I think of it as a reveal that morphs before the final stage, and I hope that you know it was always in there inside him. He perhaps just never knew or let himself express it due to his blockers that perhaps only lifted when his brain shifted. I don't know. I'm no expert, but I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you created a world and community through your art. 🥰
It’s so hard to have to watch a loved one go through dementia. I lost my Papi in 2019 due to Alzheimer’s he was only 63 when it passed and it broke my heart into a million pieces. He meant the world to me! And it hurts to know that he never got to know my two daughters. I know they would have loved him so much. It’s wonderful that you were able to share your emotional journey and don’t feel bad about doing so. Sending love and light! You will be able to get through this.
La vida es dulce y triste a la vez. Mi abuelo murió de Alzheimer y entiendo cada palabra que transmites. La mejor etapa de la relación con él fue justamente la misma que tú. Es duro Fran, pero la vida te dio otra oportunidad de juntarte con él y cerrar un vínculo como siempre debe ser con profundo amor y cariño. La vida nos da lecciones tristes pero esperanzadoras a la vez ❤
Absolutamente de acuerdo con tu comentario
I'm crying rn, so much.
I'm really touched that you share your struggles with us. It's been a few years since I've followed you and you have this powerful way to share your emotions with such grace, emotional intelligence. Tbh, I'm still amazed by this ability to be vulnerable but in a way so beautiful.
It's overwhelming to be one of your followers. But in a good way. You keep reminding me how life is complexe, hard but also so beautiful, so raw. I feel so human after watching you.
You're really a blessing to RUclips.
Keep being your true self. Our blessing.❤
I send you all the strength needed and all my thoughts.
Thank you for Fran❤
Wow you describe it so well "You keep reminding me how life is complexe, hard but also so beautiful, so raw. I feel so human after watching you." These words are so exact! I hope Fran reads your comment...
Tip for cheaper framing:
Custom framing is very expensive, but if your pictures are standard-sizes, you can get much cheaper ready-made frames in store. If you make your own art, it's definitely worth it to choose paper sizes that fit standard frames. :)
That's what I do
I know it isn't easy,but I hope you know that there are people(me especially) who find comfort when you talk about sad things. It can be really comforting hearing someone just being real with their feelings and not just focusing on the happy bits of their life. Your videos are actually the only things comforting me right now since most of the RUclipsrs I subscribe to aren't as real. That isn't to say you should only post sad stuff,but that I hope you know that showing the real sides of you isn't burdening your audience. Thank you for being gaining the courage to be real with us.
I'm so sorry about your dad. I had a similar experience with my dad. He stopped drinking when he got cancer for the second time, and he changed so much, he turned into a kind and respectful man and the dad I always wished I had (and knew was in there somewhere). I had that dad for 1.5 years before he died. It is super bittersweet and very hard. Sending you so much love 💖
Your Videos are ALWAYS refreshing...we love knowing how you're doing. I'm so sorry about your Dad's diagnosis but at the same time..this is a gift for you..his child. My Dad has dementia for about 6 years..although I believe he had it longer...eventually he passed but we have the best stories of his behavior..both good and bad and very funny...and we all connected with with him in our own personal ways...I'm glad you're having this experience with your Dad..this was his life path..and yours is yours..and every day we choose how we want to see our situations!!! Love you Fran!!! xo
oh, man, never a dull moment with the dichotomy of life’s offerings
lately i’ve been thinking the only thing i need to master in life is how to embrace it all as it comes while i take care of myself so i am be able to navigate through it to the best of my capacities
i admire how you cultivate this in you and try to make sense and meaning of it all
one step at a time, right? some experiences we’re given gather depth and meaning over long periods of time, we need to be patient
on a lighter note, your blue shorts pants gave me life, i need my own pair now and a dance off session:)
hug, thank you for sharing
You write in a beautiful way 😊
I really appreciate your discussion of dementia and your relationship with your dad. I haven't heard of many young people discuss this topic (we usually think of our grandparents having dementia). I'm so sorry for this difficult chapter in your life.
Fran 🥺 Una amiga me dijo un día, estudiaste diseño y cosas artísticas porque tu clan familiar necesitaba expresar todo lo que no ha podido, creo que eso es lo más complicado de ver porque amamos crear.
Creo que lo que intento decirte es que eso que me dijo mi amiga, me hace pensar que ahora que tu padre está expresándote todo eso que tal vez no podía, tu expresividad está como reajustandose, o no shé, fue en lo primero que pensé cuando te escuché, espero que fuera de ese duelo, estés bien, un abrazo nena.
Pensé en lo mismo, creo que es una relación que sanará a través del arte
I had a dificult relation with muy father too. He has a ver y strong caracter. But sometimes illness turns relations. We had the oportunity to make peace, and, for me, that is priceless.
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I have worked with dementia patients and I know how heartbreaking it is for their families to watch them "disappear".
My heart goes out to you.
Take good care of yourself and treasure the positive aspect of this, however short-lived.
Hi Fran :) in the aftermath of my father's similar illness and his passing I came across a quote I carry with me all the time: "what does gratitude feel like? ....like the touch of a parent, when you only have one left" ....I don't remember where it's from or by whom I scribbled it down and I dedicated to my Father. Wishing you all the best, strength, courage and time to heal ❤!!!
Fran, Your story about your Dad is so familiar to me. After years of not seeing my Mom I did go when I learned she had Dementia. I was so thankful I did because not even 6 months later she passed away. I won't say she changed, but with the disease her edges were softer. But you're right there is a sense of mortality present there. Thanks for sharing your story.
Dear Fran,we love you just the way you are and we are all here for you as your safety net. I am so sorry about your dad,i am going through the same thing with my dying mother at the moment. Sending you warm hugs!!! Continue to be you, love your big heart and humor and warmth!!!
i am so sorry to hear about your dad. My father was also diagnosed with dementia a year ago and and the parallel universe you described was also what I felt at first. i send you lots of strength and courage.
Thank you for sharing with us. ❤My grandma passed away few years ago. She started with dementia, and she slowly withered away. She eventually couldn't move or talk anymore. Even though she was in another state from me, it was pretty painful to see how she changed. Dementia changed her personality, and she became very soft and mellow. That made her try to somehow communicate with me more and often feeling depressed.
as a regular viewer this was so fun to seeeee thanks for framing and showing my print
Podes trauma dump todo lo que quieras Fran. Escucharte hablar de las cosas difíciles ayuda mucho. Yo también he estado con depresión y escucharte hablar de ello me sirvió para entender muchas cosas que me pasaban a mi. Igual que toda tu trayectoria artística
My grandmother had dementia and it really resonated with me when you talked about it being the “relatives disease”. It is incredibly hard for those around the person with dementia. One thing my mom really struggled with was acquaintances who knew the person my grandmother was before who didn’t understand that she was someone else afterwards. Typing this out I’m not sure it’s comforting in the least but I hope you can feel that you are less alone in this. Thinking of you ❤
My grandmother had dementia for the last 10 years before she died in 2020. She got worse along the years and she lived with my family while we cared for her (mostly my dad), she forgot who people were, lost her ability to form sentences, got angry out of frustration at not being able to articulate herself or understand things. She was bedridden the last few years, but she would have brief moments of lucidity where she would say she loves us or ask about her siblings and kids. It's hard to witness and deal with, and for you not having a good relationship with him before is so conflicting. You're allowed to feel complicated about it, and confused about how to feel. You have a very kind heart and I hope you find clarity and peace with this. I know how hard it can be.
Fran, you don't need to apologize! It's really special this kind of friendship that you build with us by showing all the parts of your life and stages that you are personally! I'm so sorry about your dad facing dementia while you two are having the opportunity to be closer! My grandmother has Alzheimer even though it's a different disease, her personality has changed a lot since she started to have the symptoms, so I can relate somehow with what you're saying. Thank you for talking with us in a challenging moment in your life! I wish you, your dad, and your family a lot of comfort. Please also rest and take your time! 💛💛
Fran, I've watched you since England. I am so sorry you are going through this. I, too, have a father at early dimentia. He's 81. He has always been my biggest supporter. I have begged him for years to write his experience with life down, but he is so humble, he doesn't see the value. But I would recommend any time you have with him, record videos. You will have him in this dimension still in a lovely way. Big hugs, chica.
Wow I am so sorry about your dad, Fran! In the midst of the pain you’re sharing I feel so deeply for you and also admire the fact that you will get to have this beautiful memory with him that you didn’t get to experience before early in both of your lives. As always, so happy to see you in this space and see glimpses of your life!
my partner's mum has frontotemporal dementia, which means her speech went first, so it's even harder to tell how confused she is 😞 it's wonderful that any kind of positive thing could have come out of it for you, you will have something good to remember, it's ok to appreciate that ❤️
I'm so sorry to hear that. My grandma had dementia and when she died, I almost felt like I had already mourned her (although another round of grief surely came a short after). She was quite difficult when she was younger, very critical and harsh, and it hurt and pushed people away. When she was ill she got softer and it was almost like it was the opportunity to say goodbye properly and almost like she could put her wall down emotionally. Mucho amor desde España Xx
Mom has dementia. She was just diagnosed with dementia in June. I totally understand everything you are saying about your dad. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤❤❤
My dad also had dementia, his change of personality was difficult. My experience was the opposite of yours. We were very close. He was very affectionate, and always supportive/ loving my entire life until dementia set in. Unfortunately I realized 6 years ago that he was forgetting things, not everyone (family members) experienced it. Then covid happened and we could not be together. His body and mind declined a lot during this time. When I was able to see him after covid restrictions were lifted he was so different. I had to accept that he would never be the same. I missed him every time I was with him. He was seldom capable of giving comfort or support during the last 3 years of his life, but there were a few moments when he was affectionate. It was emotional. You mourn the person they were if you were close and it's very strange because you do not know how to express it to people. Fran, you are not alone in having difficulty processing it. I think your dad being softer may be a blessing for you and your family. In Dec. of 2022 my dad passed. I think of him so often. I also know the dementia took so much of him. I will forever miss the father that I had before the dementia took hold. Fran, maybe you can hold this softer version of your dad in your heart and mind. Thanks for sharing.
I suddenly lost my dad 4 months ago because of cancer, I feel you, girl.
This moment will shape our future selves in a way we cannot predict, a friend of mine told me it's like a revolution and I hope, after all the sadness and this emotional black hole, we will both get a bit of peace. Big hug!
Thinking of you through this journey! My abusive father had a similar change with dementia and we built a new relationship during his time with it that I never imagined possible. He has since passed away and I’m still growing through my grief daily.
I'm so sorry about your dad. My grandma has dementia and has been getting worse over the past 9 months, with her behavior/personality changing more as her memory goes... It's hard to not only not know when might be the last time I'll see her, but also when might be the last time she'll see me and know who I am.
Wow! What a difficult moment of grace and forgiveness you are living in. These days will strengthen you and create precious memories. Be kind to yourself because these adjustments to your relationship with your father must be so difficult. All family dynamics are hard. Sending you prayers. PS Your hair looks great!
ese "abraza a tus padres" del final es muy fuerte, aprecio siempre que seas tan abierta 💌 un abrazo siempre .｡*♡
fixing the lamp was SO cool!!!!
What you’re going through sounds so tough and such a challenge. I had never considered how dementia could affect your relationship with someone in such a significant way. Thank you for sharing both the highs and lows of your life with us. As someone who also has depression, I appreciate how honest you are and the awareness you bring ❤️
I totally get you, Fran, about your situation with your dad. My father was very similar and, after my mother's death, my dad was far more nice and kind and compassionate. Then, he had a major stroke at age 82 and he moved in with me. So, it was like my childhood moving in which was tough. When he went into a nursing home, I had several months with him before he died where I could accept him as a person beyond my dad and could connect with him in such a loving way that I hadn't before. My only advice is don't worry so much about the loss to come but cherish the golden moments that you finally got to experience. Nothing lasts forever but it's such a blessing that you ARE getting this holy time with him and who he is in this moment. I'll be praying for you and him as he transitions and you accept the loss of both versions of him. Hugs from Northern California, Fran.
I lost my dad to dementia and he was gone but still living. He didnt know who I was when he passed and so I said goodbye when he was alive. I do know that feeling…thanks for sharing..its been over 15 yrs since left and I dance with his spirit everyday
I feel you. I lost my dad as well. And we havn't had the best relationship for a big part of my life. He got leukemia and died 10 months later. These 10 months have been the best but of course also most terrible days in my life. We bonded so strongly at that time. And we never felt so much joy, at the same time pain. His last week was the most intense feel of love in my life, the bond was like an iron chain. He wasn't really there anymore but at the same time so very present. There were just me and him. I was holding his hand while he did his last breath and I felt so honored and blessed. There were just love, nothing else, just neverending, unconditional love.
And while it hurts, these last months have been a gift and the knowledge that I was able to be at his side made me feel so very strong. I think this feeling was his last gift for me.
I wish you and your family all the best, all the strength and also all the joy you can have together.
Celebrate the good days and be powerful at those bad days. Lots of love!
Te entiendo tanto Fran, mi abuelo murió hace dos años, también tenía demencia, pero al él, por el contrario, le cambio el comportamiento para peor, fueron años muy duros y difíciles para mí mientras él enfrentaba su enfermedad. Te mando mucho amor y mucha fuerza
Thank you for sharing what's going on Fran. I can empathise with family issues - I am estranged from some of my family. And yes dementia is a very painful illness for those close to the person with dementia. I think it's important to talk about these things and be open, so we can all connect and I think it helps people also going through it. Your vlogs are beautiful, creative, and honest. That's a gift x
I'm sorry you're going through this with your dad. I lost my mum to early onset dementia. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you can be gentle with yourself through this
My heart goes out to you and your family, Fran. 💔
My condolences for your loss. I'm glad to see you vlogging again. Your vlogs, along with the choice of music, are very serene.
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and his Dementia, my heart goes out to you and your family.xx
The really nice moments you had with your dad amidst this tragedy is a blessing in disguise/silver lining. Whatever time left God has given to spend with loved ones who are ebbing away, cherish those moments. It is a gift.
My father just passed away from what your father is going thru. Just like you my relationship with my father wasn't the greatest. I finally got to know him, as he began forgetting the things that made him himself, including me. It's a complicated time to go through. Having thing like your video help take the small steps to make it thru. To hear it from others and express it yourself. Thank you.
my father had alzheimer's and dementia before he had passed (smoking lung cancer) the disease takes away the frontal cortex and the underlying personality is usually revealed. their "true" self can either be passive or can be dangerously aggressive. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
never hesitate to share your reality, omg big hug, I pass by that, Im receiving you, all my heart towards you
Oh my god Fran, thank you so much for sharing this life update with us and for being so vulnerable
From the perspective of sharing responsibly with your audience, I think you did a great job! You didn’t trauma dump at all. You prefaced giving us a life update and mentioned it was going to be a bummer, already allowing us to prepare ourselves and make the decision if have the space for the information right now. If not, the best part about videos like this, is that people can always stop watching, or come back later too. I hope you can continue to process and grieve with surrounded by support and love
So sorry to hear about your father. My dad also had dementia, and although we were not super close it was so hard to eventually say goodbye. Wishing you all the best ❤
Dear Fran, others have said this but while heartbreaking, this opportunity to have a loving father at last is a gift which also means that you may be able to remember him lovingly, healing for you too. Nothing comes from nothing so this version of him must have been hiding inside all the time. Having said that, I'm so sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard.
I love your assortment of dining chairs! They all work so well together!
Life is so beautiful, life is so cruel. I'm so sorry you're losing your dad. I recently lost my husband after several months of illness. You said it perfectly... it's soul-crushing and earth-shattering. I'll be thinking of you. Take care.
P.S. I'm a cat mom, too. Your Hamburguesa reminds me of my Adagio. 🐈⬛❣️
I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad. My grandma is suffering in her old age, shes slowly losing weight despite "nothing" being wrong and I too feel like I have to say goodbye while shes alive. It's so sad to know that our loved ones are dying. I completely empathize. Much love from New Hampshire.
god Fran I'm so sorry about your dad that is such a devastating emotional rollercoaster of getting to know and love a man you didn't get that love from before only to have that ripped from you and just waiting for it to happen? Just awful I'm so sorry, hoping you and your family can find peace, sending hugs
Appreciate you and understand the dad relationship...❤
I'm SO proud of you for fixing the lamp yourself!
On the parent note: I can't watch the rest of the video - it's difficult for me. But, my heart is with you regarding your Father. Both of my parents passed at the end of 2020 - about 6 weeks apart. My Dad and I did not have a great relationship. We didn't know he would die - it sort of happened suddenly. I mourn that relationship we didn't get to have because he was not a happy person. He could be very unkind to me - and my Mom. I know that it was a product of a childhood that he didn't choose - and that as an adult his coping mechanism is what killed him (drinking) - that he could've chosen to get help but didn't...and the result of that is a missed opportunity to have a healthy, loving relationship. It's kind of weird because I mourn my parents differently. I mourn my Mom's presence - because she was...my Mom. The best Mom. I miss her everyday. But I miss the *possibilities* my Dad and I lost when he died. That there is no recovery for him to have - that will repair our relationship. It's just so weird. It's weird to be a child with a dying parent. I got one good day with my Mom before she became *not* my Mom anymore (she had brain cancer). It was tough to watch that deterioration happen over a mere two weeks - from the time we found out to the time she passed.
Do whatever you can - for you. It's going to be tough. But - you've got this. You can do it. You can survive through to the other side
I have to say, I understand that your channel isn't just content, it is a record of your experiences. So talking about things that are difficult to talk about is ok. I am so sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis and I am glad that you and he have this moment to re-connect. It'll be ok Fran. ❤❤
You’re so brave for sharing your journey!! It’s hard having a family member with dementia, my grandfather had it and it was super hard but the beautiful part about life is we were all able to be there for him. Stay strong and I wish you and your family many Amazon g moments with your father. 🫶🏻
Hi Fran, I think the way you talked in this video was just really beautiful. wishing u allllll the love in the world literally
I love your channel and so sorry to hear about your dad's illness. Grief is complicated and not fun at all. I hope you find a way to keep strength in these trying times. Thanks for being open about your experience and sharing this!
I’m very sorry to hear about your mental health and about your dad’s health. My grandfather had Alzheimer’s and the dementia was a terrible part of it. Sending you happy thoughts and good vibes 💗💗
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, I know you made this video a few months ago so things might have changed now. My dad died of Lewy Body Dementia a few years ago so I can relate. The dementia initially increased all of his worst traits and reduced his good traits making him difficult to be around, but in his last year he mellowed a lot and I really value the time I spent with him. It just feels very sad that he couldnt have lived longer, I miss him. It is very difficult, surreal and upsetting seeing a parent get sick and pass away, I think its good you shared it. So often people online only show the positives and it can feel alienating. I would like to throw the phrase 'trauma dump' in the rubbish as it makes people feel guilty for having problems and wanting to talk about them. By the way I'm currently reading Moominpapa at Sea, Tove Jansson is such an inspiration.
Fran, siento mucho lo de tu papá💔, te mando un abrazo enorme. Yo perdí a mi papá el 18 de julio y la verdad mi salud mental se fue en picada luego de eso y estoy luchando para recuperarme, tus videos siempre me ayudan a calmar la ansiedad, me da una alegría enorme cuando veo que hay un video tuyo nuevo, gracias por hacerme compañía ❤️
sending a lot of love your way, Fran. You are so brave and I appreciate and respect how much you trust us to tell us these hard parts of your life. As someone who's had complicated relationships with their parents/grandparents, I understand what you mean. It's so incredibly soul crushing. I wish you and your family so much luck and love. Make sure to be extra kind to yourself. You deserve it ❤
Fran, this is my first comment on here. I usually just watch and enjoy your world but this feels different. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. It is highly appreciated. I know how hard it is to lose a father (lost mine when I was fourteen) and still can't begin to understand the pain you must feel. Sending you all my love ❤
I needed something significative enough to be able to have a nice day....and then you upload a new video ✨ Thank you so much, Fran! 🌷🐈💕
Hello I'm a subscriber from Japan💌 Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and experiences. Your bravery just touched my heart🫀
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you’re going through that but also it’s hard that at the same time I’m glad you’re able to have a positive time with him.
Te abrazo por lo de tu papi, gracias a ti por compartir(te) un abrazo🤍🤍🤍🤍
Hey Fran,
Im writing from Germany, havent had any contact with my father for over 6 years and all of a sudden he came back into my life just before christmas last year with multiple uncurable cancer diagnoses well-knowing that he is going to pass away in the near future. I understand how difficult it is to develop a relationship with someone in that situation. Obviously his sicknesses have taken a massive toll on him and his mental state. Im also getting to know him again and losing him again, so I really understand how you feel. Its heartbreaking and horrible and juggling personal and professional life is such a struggle. I really hope you can find a way to make a few memories that can last, even if its just glimpses of something you could never have with him before. If theres any anger or sadness connected with him because he couldnt be there for you in your past my counsellor recommended writing a virtual letter to him (never sending it or letitng him know) and then reading through it again to find out what you can give to yourself these days and how you can provide yourself with everything now - as a grown woman - that he couldnt help you with back then. I guess it can be very empowering to try. Im sending you a virtual hug, you're not alone.
Fran I'm so sorry to hear about this. It takes a lot of strength to experience these and be a survivor. I'm proud of you. The interesting part, and the part where I relate to what you said, is that I, too, had to leave a relationship that I loved very much a few days ago. We still love each other very much, but sometimes some people are only in your heart, not in your life. I wanted to share this with you. Hug yourself very tightly. 🦋
enjoy your father as much as you can!
Thanks for confiding. Take care and he gentle with yourself during this tough time. Hug your friends a lot too 😊
I completely understand what you are talking about - my grandma was very egotistical and harsh and self-absorbed and after the alzheimers kicked in she became much nicer and gave us the chance to see her as a more complex person - we think the alzheimers "ate" the part of the brain that held the trauma that made her the way she was - it is not easy, but hopefully this time will have its nice moments as well ❤
It's also very brave to speak about such intimate topics online, and I feel very privileged to hear it. I lost my mom a few years ago, and it's not easy to carry this pain every day.
I love your vlogs for what they are: beautifully honest and an intimate travel through your everyday life! I'm glad I'm able to be here and give you my support ❤
Creo que puede dar uno de los dos lados, hay personas como mi abuela que con demencia se ha vuelto mucho mas cruel, agresiva y ruda... cada caso ocurre de manera diferente.
Pero gracias por compartirlo, no tengas miedo es normal a veces pensar en que nos sentiremos juzgados por los demás, siempre estaremos para un apoyo cybernetico.
Gracias por tu contenido y tu vuelta a brok; siempre los disfruto.
thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and painful experience. I had a very similar experience when my grandmother developed dementia, whom myself and particularly my mother had had a very difficult relationship with (often strained because of her narcissism and cruelty) until she was transformed by the disease into someone who was able to be affectionate and loving. It was almost disconcerting and hard to adjust to, for me. But the point is, what a gift of healing at the end of that persons life to forgive, to love them and see them in a new light. The dementia itself is not a gift of course, it's a horrible degenerative disease, but without which you would perhaps not have had this opportunity to know and to love your father. When he passes , I hope you will have the peace of reconciliation as some console. Sending you love xx
It’s wonderful and bittersweet that you get to heal a bit of your relationship with your Dad. I miss my parents everyday and would love to have one more day with them to tell them things I never told them when they were here. Even though I had a relatively normal relationship with my Dad, I don’t think it matters, there are always things left unsaid, things we wish we said or did differrently. So, be kind to yourself and know that parents… they don’t intentionally want to hurt their children. We just sometimes forget that they are human with flaws and hardships and trying to work life out the same way we do. Thank you for sharing this with us, and including us in your little pocket of the world. Love and light to you, Fran x
I'm really sorry to hear that your dad is going through this.. Even if you don't have a very fond relationship with him, he's still family. I understand what it feels like since my mother has had schizophrenia since as I was a child. She doesn't even think I'm her daughter and her mood swings have been a regular part of our lives. She suffered a brain stroke 10 years ago and became paralyzed & last year she suffered another one and now she can only move her head.. Can't even speak. But I love her and I will be beside her for the rest of her life. I love her and it doesn't matter if she doesn't recognize me at times. By God's grace, she is alive and well. Thats what's important to us. Stay strong, Fran.
Thank you for sharing this fran, i had seen your videos the last six/seven years and makes sad to see that you are going tru all of this, i hope you will better and i hope you can enjoy as many moments as possible with your father the time will be with us ❤
Love the care and attention you give to your plants❤
Thanks for the share ... My mum past away this time last year and my dad has not been the same, obviously but no Dementia yet but I feel how you are feeling
So sorry about your father and you having to navigate this new dynamic. Complicated father child relationships and loss are really mentally challenging. To open your heart knowing it will be broken is a VERY BIG LOVE offering both to yourself and him and I am so proud of you and your willingness to be with it and do the hard things. It is a beautiful thing thank you for sharing it.Continue to be brave and contemplate what you need from this to meet your inner child and the person you will be when he leaves this earth and I think you will then be fine. I lost my father last year and I made a point of asking myself what do I need from this time now and later and how can I get what I need and say what I need while I have the chance...and what am I able to offer him? I am wishing you both the best of luck during this hard time.
Hey Fran, thank you for your beautiful vulnerability. Most of the time I think about so many details, I forget that things like dementia exist. You being so honest with us makes me feel more grounded in both joy and pain. I live far away from my parents and one of my worst fears is something happening to them while I'm not there which is very very likely. A lot of times they only share things with me - like small operations or doctor visits only after they've already happened. I imagine it must be tough for you too. Sending you a very tight hug
Me pasó lo mismo con mi abuela. Ella tuvo con nosotros un trato muy áspero, con episodios de depresión que finalmente desencadenaron en una demencia precoz, además de otros problemas graves de salud. Me quido mucho y no supo comunicarlo hasta que volvió a sentirse una niña desvalida que ya no recordaba nada, sólo experimentaba el momento real. 😢 Muchísimo ánimo. Te queremos, Fran.❤
Sending ❤️ to you and your Dad. Thank you for trusting us with your difficult journey. You have a safe place, a shelter in the community you have built here. 🙏🏼
Thank you for updates, it was important and not a trauma dumping! II want to express my sympathy and at the same time congratulate you on finding a parent... Maybe it is a good time for Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist series, it's a musical and comedy and also tradegy of a young woman who's dad dies.
Hola Fran, fui a tu primer taller en Sevilla, seguía tu canal desde hace un tiempo antes de eso. Me acuerdo que llegué tarde y me ofreciste un abrazo. Mi vida ha cambiado mucho como artista, migrante y en este momento que me acaban de diagnosticar ayer una enfermedad autoinmune, aprecio más que nunca que compartas tus experiencias personales porque me inspiran y me hace sentir de cierta forma que no estoy sola y que la vulnerabilidad es valiosa, y que vivir cosas dolorosas o complicadas es normal y parte de vivir. Aunque estemos pasando por momentos difíciles, confío en que todo saldrá bien, y al ver esto solo te digo que me encantaría volver a la Galería Roja a tu taller y devolverte ese abrazo ❤
Hello, Fran! I'm sorry you are going through this hard time. Mi abuela tuvo Alzheimer cuando yo era pequeña, nunca la conocí como realmente fue pero vi a mi mamá, a sus hermanos y a mi abuelo sufrir por ello. Sé lo dificil que es lo que estas pasando. Te mando un abrazo desde México 🩷
I’m sorry about your dad. I can only imagine how hard it must be. Thank you for trusting us. We are here for you. Sending you blessings.
AY Fran, como te entiendo, mi padre de repente sufrió un aneurisma en el mismo momento que decidí irme a vivir de nuevo al sur de España con mi familia. He necesitado terapia porque, en un sentido figurativo y algo alreves de lo que te pasa a ti, mi padre dejó de ser el mismo para ser una persona dependiente. Debido a la traqueotomia no habla, susurra, y estoy loca por volverlo a oír. He necesitado terapia y aún estoy en ello, pero...si es aterrador pensar que puede repetirse o que no va a durar eternamente que probablemente se vaya más pronto que tarde, pero...precisamente por eso, cada beso que le doy, cada abrazo, cada sonrisa, cada palabra que compartimos, me alienta a seguir disfrutando de él hasta el final...se por lo que estas pasando y se te entiende perfectamente, simplemente lleva tu luto, y atesora esta segunda oportunidad, porque lo es...❤ un abrazo enorme!
Sending love to you, Fran. No need to apologize for sharing the colors of your heart - I feel blessed to know you better. It’s courageous to reveal our truths - your authenticity gives us courage to express ourselves honestly too. Bless you, beloved. Sending light to you and your family 🩵🕊️
Thank you for sharing Fran❤ no judgement, just sending you kindness.
My former partner's dad became nicer after a stroke. So much so that there was a mend between him and his sons after many years. His dad actually apologized. It's not exactly the same thing but I do think there is a benefit for some when a part of the brain that holds trauma stops having a strangle-hold on the person. I absolutely love your videos. I hope you'll always feel comfortable sharing with us. It's a wonderful thing. We're all human beings trying to relate to each other and the more we realize we share these unusual but not so unusual scenarios, the more connected we can be and the less alone we can all feel. I also love your vlogs. You inspire me to do more beautiful things in my home every single time.