You're Not Lazy: How to Live a Chaotically Organised Life
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- Опубликовано: 5 авг 2024
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Having quit things I thought I wanted to do, hated myself because I can't stick to schedules I create, thought I'm incapable of achieving much due to my chaotic and indecisive mind: here is how I now thrive (a bit more) in chaos and lack of organisation, most importantly: without habits.
To make your life easier:
0:00 Intro
1:09 Bloody Typical: The Fall Behind, Catch Up, Go Ahead Schedule
4:27 The Seven Year Itch: Screw 1% Improvements
8:32 Can't Help Falling in Love: Optimising for Passion, not Consistency
11:04 Now You're Talking: The Adult Brat
WHO AM I: I'm Elizabeth, a medical student, painter, RUclipsr and Podcaster in London. I love to think and talk about life, art, medicine, books and meaning. And also how to find the time to do those things. If you'd like to watch me paint and talk about life, I do that on my podcast ( / @feelosophywithelizabe... ) and if you'd like to read my thoughts and book notes, I have a newsletter you can join (newsletter.elizabethfilips.com/).
👽 My Book on Organised Chaos: How to Succeed Without Habits or Consistency: lizziefilips.gumroad.com/l/krcnc
🧠 Shop my Notion Templates to Work Better With Yourself: lizziefilips.gumroad.com
If you want to stay in touch:
🖤 Patreon Team - / elizabethfilips
💌 My Newsletter - go.elizabethfilips.com/newsle...
🎙My Podcast - / @feelosophywithelizabe...
📕 My Book Club - www.getrevue.co/profile/the-p...
📸 My Instagram - / elizabeth.filips
💻 My Website - www.elizabethfilips.com/
🐥 My Twitter - / lizziefilips
Or leave a comment, I (try to) answer 100% of comments :)
UPDATE 2: THE BOOK IS OUT! It'll be 20% off for the first 24h here!! lizziefilips.gumroad.com/l/krcnc/wuf2mlg?_gl=1*vz5ke6*_ga*MTUzOTM3ODI1LjE2NTg0MTI3NTA.*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*MTY2MTQzMDE1Ny4xMjAuMS4xNjYxNDMzNzA4LjAuMC4w
Update: HEYA just want to say I'm completely and utterly overwhelmed by the comments on this video! I am so so sorry I cannot give a full reply to everyone but I see you all and wish we could all just have big group hug for the amount of times we've been made to feel shit for not being able to stick to things! I've followed up on the topic in this video here (how to motivate ourselves to stick to things and not quit them, so if you're also chaotically passionate, that might resonate): ruclips.net/video/Q7t-NODaULg/видео.html
And I'm trying to get my thoughts in writing in some guide and template of sorts on the topic of chaotic organisation, hopefully that'll be out soon, before I start university again! Lots and lots of love, Lizzie xxx
OMG You're me 🤣😎
I'm in my 40's and I think you just changed my life...
I have a lot of these same qualities but never knew there was a "name" for it or that it was actually a viable way to get work done. Fantastic video!
Love the video! I can 100% identify with what you are saying...
Do you think this would be a bad strategy for language learning
Hi! I am unable to subscribe to your newsletter! The page wont open :(
Please help!!
Also ap retty good depression tip: "If it's something that is worth doing it's worth doing badly. 10 seconds brushing teeth is better than not brushing at all."
I needed this
@@almatovar7708 Samesies.
THISSSS, it's the only reason I survived my teen years. Doing a shitty version of my essay was better than not handing anything in, washing just the cutlery was better than not doing any dishes at all. Something is better than nothing. Not compltely finishing a task or doing it at your best effort doesn't mean you've failed, it means you've actively made progress
@@patienceholmes841 yeah i need to understand it, i ve always either made something perfectly in the best absolute way or done nothing at all
Lmao that's the worst and greatest advice I've seen
this spoke to me more deeply than any productivity video ive seen on youtube. i’m trying to readopt the intuitive methods that i developed as a kid - trying to do “the adult thing” and follow routines, schedules, etc has just resulted in a cycle of guilt and shame and nothing getting done.
I feel ya. Good luck in this new approach. I hope it works for us. 🙏🏾
For me the answer lies somewhere in the middle.
I think it's best for everyone to have maybe 1-3 habits that they complete every single day. For me this is meditation, exercise, and a cold shower in the morning. It acts as a perfect way for me to start the day and makes it easy to drop into flow with whatever I'm doing.
There's no way someone can't find 30 minutes or less to do something that's really important to their well-being. At that point I'm convinced it's just a lack of discipline.
That said, too much will suffocate most people, include neurotypicals. Having a more fluid schedule promotes serendipity and greatly stimulates creative thought.
There's so much debate over what tactics are the best so the best anyone can do is simply experiment and find out what works for them.
Exact same thing here. It's an endless cycle that makes me dread what I need to do even MORE and I feel myself actively looking for reasons to avoid it.
Think this may be the key I need because I used to have very passionate spurts of work
Trust just hit me in the face 🤧💔🤯💯
literally, amen.. and illive been watching are planning videos on HOW TO NOT BE LIKE THIS I KNOW IM NOT LAZY
Girl, please tag this for ADHD or ADHD hacks. You are really good at putting words to what we all struggle with and then putting solutions to it
lol i literally thought the same thing!
LITERALLY!!
I'm only a few minutes into the video and I'm already going "Do you know this is ADHD? Cause this sounds like my experience with ADHD >.>"
This would really be beneficial to people. I bought the stuff from gum road but I failed to implement because I am not very great with notion. But with all these comments on this post I think I may need to invest my energy to learning how to use it better
Just want to mention that this problem is not just for people with ADHD these are symptoms that other neurodivergences share as well (because neurodivergence is a spectrum as we all know). But i guess it's fair to label it as adhd since it's the most commonly associated disorder when it comes to this type of stuff
Notes:
- be okay with starting, stopping for a long time, and starting again
- be okay with doing stuff just when you feel like it
- dont make fake deadlines. Stuff without concrete deadlines are suggestions to do when you feel like it
- not 1% improvement daily, because that requires consistency. Build up motivation before starting and then improve 5000% all in one sitting. Go ahead and master something in one sitting.
- optimize for passion, not consistency
- talk to yourself not to label or insult yourself but to find the internal need to fix (note from me: this is also best for parenting! Read Disicpline Without Distress by Judy Arnall, a mom of 5 with a bachelor's degree in this stuff! It's my favorite and introduced me to gentle parenting.)
Thank u sm!!❤
"Consistency isn't for everyone, and just because we can't be consistent that doesn't mean we cannot do it..." That hit home for me. I love that this is the first video recommended to me from your channel. It's reassuring me that this topic is being explored more. Glad I'm not alone...
Thank you so much Miguel!
I agree, this is a point not raised often. But I think it also depends on what exactly it is we are trying to achieve.
Agreed
expect working out lol nature doesnt care about what you prefer
Your definitely not alone!
This is very relatable! I was ready to give up on a lot of things. But watching this video, now I'm willing to try to get passionate about them without forcing myself to do them. Because I know if I'm passionate about something I'LL DO IT 1000%!
AHHH THANKS FOR THE COMMENT, love to hear it resonated!
Damn even ElectroBOOM relates to this
Literally ElectroBOOM. It's nice to know that some of our favorite creators struggle with the same kinds of problems. It's really comforting to know that we can still be successful, even if we struggle with certain things.
Agreed
@@alexlowe2054:
To be honest, it doesn't surprise me that he related; sounds exactly like his personality.
“Priming the passion” is such a transformative reframe for what I have been calling procrastination. It is exactly what I do, I realize… like a slow crescendo of interest until I’m suddenly all in for hours for days on end. It’s so transformative because this - and your whole video actually - is about giving ourselves permission to be who we are, and to trust ourselves.
👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽
I’ve never resonated with a video more. You put exactly into words how I am with work and projects and LIFE in general. Thank you. 🎉 -Lily
This is the most "tell me you have ADHD without telling me you have ADHD" self-help video I've ever seen. 😁 And as someone with ADHD, I love how you've found ways to work with it. 👍
NO CAUSE I'M ABT TO TO ASK IF SHE GOT ADHD HAHAHA
I was about to comment this 😅
Thought the same thing. Sounds like adhd, maybe with giftedness on top lol
I thought the same thing 🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰 All us ADHDers were like PREACH
I have ADHD and I find this mindset INCREDIBLY helpful. I'm loving this video so much. She doesn't necesarly have to have ADHD because I think that many people can just be inconsistent.
You just explained my irrational anger when I hear the words consistent, schedule, routine, and progress. This is how my brain works too. It’s either 5% or 1000% and now I know I am not alone and this way is ok. Thank you.
When I hear those words my body responds with a resounding NO on a cellular level. 😅
Exactly!👏
SAME!
Same here :D
OMG SAME. I cannot explain how annoying the word "consistency" is to me and how much "routine" makes me want to be dead.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD like many people in the comments have been, but I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression. This also makes me procrastinate and take on too many projects at the same time. When these things were untreated, I would go through periods of getting As & Bs then failing the next semester so badly I would be on Academic Suspension. It’s hard to turn in assignments with a strict deadline. 😢
Same here, but I don't believe anymore that I can treat my depression/Anxiety. In a week to week scale I thought I did progress or learned new things or learned from my past self but everytime I'm honest and look back at the big scale I see that I never changed and It's always the same pattern. People then say, that I should just go for it and do things differently, but that's the point I can't get myself out of this because I try to change all the time but my self sabotage and fear is just too strong.
@@josephisaroundStart with the low effort stuff
Don't listen to @@jorgeperez2872nor others who gave you "tips" on treating depression, they're not a professional therapist
Thank you for this video. "The fastest way to make me hate something is to make me do it consistently" really hit a spot and made me cry. I struggle so hard at work, even in a creative, meaningful job with a great team. I used to function perfectly in school and university because there was a rising curve from lazy semester start up to finals where I could work through the nights, score excellent results and then have weeks and weeks of holidays to fill really relax and fill up my cup.
Now with work, there is no curve and I have to show up every week and be predictable. One or two weeks of holidays every couple of months isn't enough to fill up my cup and deep dive into a new field of interest. It is always cut short. I am taking steps to adjust my job a bit more to my "curve", but sometimes I feel like an alien, masquerading as a functioning human adult.😅🙈
Now that you've said it, this is exactly why I hate work too! Now that I'm back at uni for my masters, I'm so glad I'm doing this over working, even when I'm stressed over deadlines I prefer this over having to show up to work every day. I don't know how I'm going to handle having to go back to work :(
I don’t know how you do it but you some how make the most creative, relatable videos. I’ve tried to make clear systems and be more consistent but my brain naturally ebs and flows and with this video now I don’t feel so bad 💛
Eeeek thank you!!!
Khalilah. I have to be honest… i see you everywhere and I love it! You have such great taste.
@@glammednoir895 hehe. It's awesome to notice people several times
Where's is "ull" from your name? Khalil!
Hi
This is sooo relatable as a person with ADHD, you literally described my entire life. I always felt so bad that I "quit" things. Just recently I thought to myself, "Why do I always think that I quit them? Why can't I just take a long pause?". We're so used to the idea of "not consistent = will suck and quit", I hear it everywhere and this is so not true.
Anyway, thank you!
Same😭I used to feel awful
thank you so much for the comment, it makes me so so happy this was helpful!!!
putting the H Y P E R back in hyperfocusing, nice!
Now add this to the ikigai principle and the emancipation of work, and we'll have a nice humanity going and at a better pace
I feel u but with ADHD I forget things pretty easily so in that case a long pause can mena I might not pick it up again right?or is my ADHD different
@@sakuranovaryan9261 every ADHD is different
You said it: the fastest way to get me to hate something is to make it compulsory through habit.
I resonate with your approach. Hearing from you makes me feel like I'm not the only one. I've often felt like I am irresponsible and can't survive because I don't have the consistency needed.
Right! She explained it so well, routines are just not for me, If you want me to do something consistently everyday, especially if I have no interest in it, im going to leave it to the side and never look at it again. I think I work that way as well, just get a burst of motivation and do it for hours.
Do you know what your Meyer's Briggs personality type is?@@zylaaa8759
Im fascinated to listen to someone basically describe how my brain works. The main difference is, I've never wanted to be different or thought there is anything wrong with me. Ive thought of myself basically lazy but motivated by pressure, and very good at working under pressure. And since nothing bad has happened as a result i don't worry about it. My passions come and go in cycles and i mostly just go with it.
I also like to deeply focus on one thing at a time and I'm hugely productive when this happens.
My main problem is that real life doesn't often let you focus: there are other people and meetings and kids who need to be fed.
On a related note, I've found it incredibly helpful to redefine "consistent" from "every day" to "more often than not." I achieved goals I'd never thought I'd achieve thanks to this.
My rule was 4 days/week. Didn't matter when in the week, as long as it was 4 days. My habits had minimum non-negotiables, and anything above that was a bonus.
This. I can imagine how much easier it is to stay consistent and motivated when you give yourself some slack and treat sudden burts of interest or inspiration as a bonus.
It truly is amazing how something so small and intangible as the way you frame or define a concept can have such a strong material impact on the real world. Like how imaginary human concepts like economics or social class can lead to the vanishing of seas or the extinction of entire species.
For me, this also means i have to keep "stuff in my view field". Like a violin kept in the living room all the time so that i can play it as and when i want to (which is not very often). But if it is kept away, to be taken out for use when i need it", i would never need it probably. Not for very long time atleast.
Another option is trying not to skip the thing more than 2 days in a row (unless unavoidable for sickness reasons / extenuating circumstances etc.). This means even if I break the chain for a day, I still get one extra day to goof off, and then by the third day I can tell myself “ok, come on now,” and get back to it without feeling guilty or fearful that all my progress has been undone.
@@NishanthSalahudeen 10000%, so glad you brought this up, I do this too. It's basically like "mise en place" but for your entire life, lol.
This is also why one of my toxic traits is leaving food in the fridge until entire societies have formed on my old food. If it gets pushed to the back of the fridge and I can't see it anymore, it's not getting eaten, and it's CERTAINLY not getting cleaned. I would absolutely rearrange the fridge to be more me-specific if I didn't live with other people.
This is actually good advice and confirms the essence of Taoism. The more we feel like we have to try, the more we will fail. The number one killer of creativity is structure. The strict calendar/to-do schedule thing is also a no for me because missing a single day will absolutely destroy my confidence causing me to stop completely. Perfectionism is a bitch.
"because missing a single day will absolutely destroy my confidence causing me to stop completely." Ugh, this hurts me so bad.
Structure does not kill creativity at all.
@@Musicienne-DAB1995 For different people it won't, but there's other people where it does
for me personally, I learned that even “I won’t use a todo list” is too strict of a rule. the promise of never to restrict myself is a restriction on itself. I find comfort in having schedules when I want, but going out of it when I don’t feel like it anymore
@@YourUnrulyServant exactly how I feel too!
Thank you for this. It saved me. I discovered I have ADHD and autism 3months ago and I'm 53. I was an avid fan of James Clear until I had to admit it was hurting my day instead, it was a tough realisation. Thank you ❤
Same here…turning 55 soon and my psychiatrist (who I’ve seen for years) told me this summer that I might have ADHD. This RUclipsr makes more sense for me than most of the self-help books I’ve looked at!
Some people are born different. Its scary to live your way when you see all messages saying the opposite. But its going to be a relief when you come back to your nature.
I spent a whole year having a routine and being organised diligently. I came out depressed and it took completely obliterating my routine, skipping classes, spending 2-3 hours out in the field playing with friends that got me back. My grades improved and i was spending 1/5th of time studying that i did before.
"Describe ADHD without saying ADHD". This is such a useful way to reframe thinking about productivity and habits.
Having been recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, this video made a whole lot more sense. My attempts over a lifetime of trying to create consistent schedules of self-improvement have largely failed, and yet self-improvement has happened. In analyzing when/how those happened, and then watching this video, I can see more clearly why. The ADHD chaos, and utter hatred of that scheduled 1% for example, created this vacuum of frustration and failure. Those moments of deep, frantic, hyper-fixated learning however were the moments I remember most and the skills I use constantly. That "tipping point" part she mentioned is likely about to be a game-changer for me.
@@APyralis My life improved so much after I started working with my ADHD instead of against it. One of the hardest parts is explaining to others that I can't make habits and use different strategies than they do. It's no longer a moral failure when I lose my routine, which makes it a lot easier to get back on track. I'm also a huge fan of half-assing things I have low motivation for. Doing half is better than none, especially when it comes to things like dishes and laundry. Now if only I could get a better handle on my time blindness, that would be great.
@@powersquirrel8156 Same. I do think 1% improvements aren't literally improving 1% every day, but just focusing on adding a little bit on top of your existing habits to improve a little bit will make a bigger difference. It isn't literally 1%, but it's a small change. For example, I am getting into planning but I added planning sessions to add specifics to my tasks and when I will do something. This has helped. It is a small change but I had big results so far.
@@APyralisomg I just realized something, is this why I hate those language learning apps where they utilize streaks of days where you do a lesson? Because those are so annoying to my perfectionist brain. I’d rather do large chunks of lessons when I feel like it than everyday.
I tried to describe my ADHD to the phycologist and failed horribly lol. She said instead I have terrible anxiety which is true because my body literally stiffens up the whole time when I am anxious. Any tips of how I can make it understand to her?
I'm in literal tears right now. I have watched tons of motivation videos, tried so my daily, weekly, monthly schedules, tried a bunch of techniques such as pomodoro, tried having a study buddy, waking up at 5am, doing a little bit every day, taking notes constantly, going to a library to study & many more things. There was so many night and days that I cried because I just couldn't archive my smallest goals. I'm glad this video was recommended to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 😭💜
Just a thought: have you been checked for adult ADHD? It was a real eye opener for me. I can totally relate to your struggles...
This is the exact state of mine.. tried every single thing written above and still stuck in square one. I feel you.
please get an adhd test
I so feel you
@@mentalhealthwithalana you too please 😅 it kinda changed my life, I Had a terrible self acceptance because of the things she mentioned, that slowly add up and crush your Soul bc you think it's because you are stupid and lazy. But when finding out there might be a neurological reason,you can't blame yourself anymore. And crying bc of the Feeling of Being seen screams Like it
THIS IS SO HELPFULLL!!!! Having an auDHD brain, executive dysfunction & demand avoidance literally PHYSICALLY stop me from ever being able to create habits. This is so validating oml thank you
I've been trying for the last couple of years to explain to people that I seem to be physically incapable of forming habits--it's really validating & helpful to see that someone else has not only had this experience but is building a working system around it!
As someone who only discovered in their mid twenties, I really wish there had been more guides like this and more understanding surrounding different learning types when I was growing up.
The "undiagnosed ADHD gifted kid" to "burnt-out and mentally ill adult" pipeline is real and tragic.
Tell me more...
Yep...
@@gavinmaitland80 true
Could not be more true 🥲
YEAPPPP
High five to the ADHD community in the comments section, we're in this together guys! We can do this! Thank you Elizabeth ♥
Literally had to pause the video pretty immediately to go find this comment
@@mollywahlberg8591 there's hope! 😂
We got this!!💕
Does she have ADHD? Because she managed to put in words the exactly chaotic "method" I use to learn anything and is so relatable! That's how I learned English by myself as a kid, Italian as an adult, how to invest in the stock market or how to write screenplays... 😍 I get bursts of interest in subjects then I try to learn everything I can about it.
@@samantacarvalho8669 yeah then i will quickly disinterest with it.. cannot put my focus in it for a long time.
You just put into words my ADHD brain, and made me feel so normal about something I’ve always felt insecure for. THANK YOU.
Where has this video been all my life?! This resonates SO much! I constantly kick myself for being disorganised and not able to build long term routines, which I hate the thought of but feel I need to do anyway to be successful. But to hear others are the same is really encouraging. I like the idea of “fall behind, catch up, go ahead” as that sums me up well. Thanks!
Hi Elizabeth! I'm a psychology professor and behavioral therapist here in Brazil and a patient sent me your video. He has a chronic problem with procrastination and consistency, so I opened the video ready to debunk your claims. However, it is an excellent video and I come here to praise you!
Well edited and filmed, intellectually honest content and consistent with the literature. Indeed, the way you work would never work for my patient and I will have to explain to him that he got it wrong, but you make all the necessary disclaimers. It is a video that I will recommend to OTHER patients, afflicted by a perfectionism and consistency that they don't need, as they are perfectly adapted to work in bursts of productivity.
Greetings from Brazil and keep up the good work!
Why do you think this won't work for your patient? without revealing any personal information on them of course
@@jackson4691
What are you talking about ? He didn't diagnose the patient from this video but bacause he know better his patient's situation he thinks this method won't work for him but could work for other patients..
@@lumene_Kasrina uhhh it looks like i replied to the wrong comment lmao, thats my mistake. There was a different comment that was diagnosing the lady in the video with ADHD. not the comment i replied to.
I just really really do not like when people throw lables around without any nuance, or personal expierence. other comments did that with the woman in the video and the diagosis on ADHD, but as I said not this one.
My Asperger/ASS diagnosed bf just told me that this is exactly how he can work (5000% method) and that this is all he could ever learn like. Would you as a proffessional think this is a typical habit for some asperger/ASS patients? I know it's a spectrum and not all are the same but he literally said: "maybe she should think about an ASS diagnosis." and that made me think.
@@moujayay Yes, overall this productivity mode is suitable for people on the autism spectrum. That's because people on the spectrum have hyperfocus and therefore a greater ability to tolerate long periods of focus and activity, but greater difficulty initiating them. It is worth remembering that this will not apply to all things (not even close) and it will be important to expand your behavioral repertoire to also develop some discipline (to get, for example, the habit of doing physical activity).
This is the most 'living successfully with ADHD' type video I've ever seen, and I LOVE it as a woman with ADHD. I'll be referring people to your video when they say they don't understand how I live with controlled chaos. It's okay to switch things up, it's okay to not find rigid habits useful, because we usually come back to them with success long-term anyway if they're valuable and inspire passion! It's okay to delay things if you've got a good mind for tight deadlines. It's just a different way of working, and although life can be harder due to neurological faults sometimes (e.g. executive dysfunction), you can still top your field. Self-hatred is never the answer. Great video!
Same I have adhd and I relate so much to this video, after struggling for almost 20 years I’ve come to the realization that self-acceptance is the only answer
Love your comment. This is great inspiration!!🤗
@@rawanelmsalehi4655 It's nice to see so many relate! Once I was diagnosed and reached acceptance it became easier to fight for accomodations I needed in work and study life, but there's nothing like having others who also understand you. Wishing you all the best!
@@saumyagupta1690 Thank you! I'm so glad it resonated 😊
Yesss! I have been diagnosed at 25, in February this year. This is the best “living with ADHD” video I have ever seen!
You have absolutely no idea how much this video has helped me. Ive always blamed myself for not being able to follow through with things, fell behind, hated strict schedules, I saw myself is the issue. Precisely like you said - the quickest way to make me hate and quit something is to put a strict schedule on it. Believing I had a faulty brain was so damaging to my perception of self and crushed my confidence. Even though like you, I knew once I got passionate about something I would get very good at it very quickly. This video opened up a lot of questions and alternatives that I never thought of before, and defo nobody has ever told me cause as a society most of us consider the only way to get better/be better/etc. is to be consistent and disciplined. Thanks so much for making this video.
As someone with severe imposter syndrome due to the way my work looks compared to what the world around me wants, this video was extremely validating. I've been priming myself for passion my entire life, even if others around me disapproved of it, or it took a little longer than others. Thank you for posting this.
As someone who's struggled with indiagnosed adhd for my entire life, this was so comforting, eye-opening, and encouraging.
sending you love!
@@elizabethfilips Tysm!! 😊
putting the H Y P E R back in hyperfocusing, nice!
My feelings exactly. I was diagnosed at 19 and I’m 20 now figuring out how to make my brain work for me. It’s not an easy task when you never had the tools that people diagnosed as kids had.
This is the first self-help video that didn't sound like useless noise to me.
Alot resonated and put into words the way I make things work. I'm looking back at my procrastination quite differently
It hits so hard to look back, though🙂💔
This is what I’ve been waiting for. Bravo.
This video helped me so so so much. I always beat myself down because I struggle with consistency so much, and my whole life, I tried to work against this and tried to become organized and consistent instead of working with it. Hearing you talk about yourself in such a kind manner and seeing the good in these traits made my heart feel very warm. Thank you.
Girl, I feel so delighted to be watching your videos. I feel like im this world, we're told to be consistent to create a habit and be a better more oragnized person. And i've been trying- I just can't. I feel so seen and at the same time, it's not the end of the world for me. That I can be not consistent and still be doing great
I much prefer "chaotically passionate" than "disorganised and lazy" as a description of myself. I get crazy passionate about something one day and completely forget that the next only to pick it up again some other time only having gotten better. This video helped me sort of realize why that is. Great video.
Exactly the same thing happens with me again n again in loop and still I couldn't come out of this. Still looking for that might something helps me that I have better balanced life.
This attitude is vital for Neurodivergent people. Appeciating your gifts & optimizing what your proficient at...does wonders for your mental health. This was so helpful...thank you
It's awesome to find so many people like me! Thanks and cheers
same
omg im the same
This is EXACTLY how I function. I had to tell myself this year: just because there are no words on paper doesn’t mean I did no work. I do a lot of prep work internally, until I can complete my work in less than three sittings.
This is exactly it. You can be working on yourself 24/7 and still have "nothing to show for it", but deep down know you've made a ton of progress
I have never heard someone who was same as me giving advice on being organized and I can thank you enough for this video. Love the way you describe things that I was not able to put into words.
I’ve never felt more seen in my life. This is exactly what is happening in my mind and you explained more eloquently than I ever could. Thank you! ❤
I love how you practically explained what being neurodivergent and having ADHD is like without mentioning it once, so more people would actually watch the video and not be like "nah I don't have ADHD", so they get the help they need without being under the stress of a label
i love this bc a lot of us who are probably undiagnosed still need help that we won't push away under the pretense of it being "not for us" since were not diagnosed, if that makes sense
After all these comment, I realize that I may have ADHD but what about the help? I don't think anything can be done and that nobody cares. So I'll skip that part. I'll just try to live and organize my life the way I want.
@@l34hlevi It's actually because of things like this that actually started getting me thinking about it. I'd watch a video or read an article that didn't explicitly state that is was about ADHD and I'd relate to it then in the comments someone would say, "Man, this is just like how I am having ADHD" or "This is what they don't tell you about having an ADHD diagnosis" and it was truly eye opening for me.
I think that people are lately giving neurodivergency more credit than its due as a sort of a coping mechanism. It's not as much of a trade off as it's a straight downgrade with some very rare and ocassional benefits. So many people now seem to think that ADHD is sort a of super power providing them ultra focus from time to time, whereas you're really only NOT being totally disfunctional during those moments.
@@omarcomming722 I've come to find that people who regularly call themselves neurodivergent are really just looking for a "look at me, im special" card to play. As a 30+ adult with diagnosed ADHD, I can confidently say that it's a full-on downgrade.
I needed this. I tried everything from 1% improvement to creating routines myself. I'm lazy, unmotivated, sleep in, and have been depressed because of it. I'm a creative mind and it feels like society isn't built for this mind. I struggle to do things unlike my peers.
we are not caring for each other happiness, thats why we are not feeling happy but too serious
if we care for each other happiness (by making other laugh) not purpose than we can feel emotion of happiness from each other !
it feel like we are there but emotionally we are not close to each other
I hate the misconception that you're lazy if you sleep in. Your natural productive hours are just later, take advantage! Every weakness has a strength at the other end.
Have you considered you might have ADD/ADHD? What this video describes maps to that. I have ADD myself.
I’m like you! We just need to,find our way.
Im so happy that I found your channel, I always thought I was just so lazy and I hated myself for it and how I can't stick to any schedules that I make. To learn that I wasn't the only one, made me feel understood and I only needed to live a chaotically organised life. I have been trying so hard for anything to bring back my motivation and your videos really helped, they made me feel seen and understood and made me think that its okay to have a different habit than others. 💝💝💝
This has been me all along. I feel much better and so seen. It's been so difficult over the years especially with society telling you there is only 1 way to live, 1 way to think. I appreciate your passionate compassion. Your language really helps me not to beat myself up.
This is like the epitome of self-awareness. Absolutely love how you've analysed your mode of thought and attention/interest and not only forgiven yourself for not fitting into the common mould, but codified it into an equally valid approach that's just different. I'm 43 and I wish I could have had this kind of information to refer to as a kid who was always being described as "Very bright, but does not apply himself" by teachers, and wondering why I tortured myself with procrastination at uni, even after swearing never to do it again at the start of every semester. This content needs to be fleshed out, as you write that you are doing, and make it in classrooms around the world, in my opinion!
Hey! Thanks for this comment! You're experience sounds just like mine. I have two masters and two degrees and somehow procrastinated through every one of them. I'm 42 and have nothing to show for. my life despite all this. I'm exhausted now and now have chronic fatigue/ME and wondering if the two are connected.
@@gavinmaitland80 Mate, this gets me in the feels, I've only just been lucky enough to get the break I've been looking for my whole adult life, and looking back at my ball of insecurities from a much better place, I feel angry and sad it took this long and so many people go through this because we don't fit one mould or other. We are intelligent people, we can work hard, given the right motivation and structure! It definitely does affect your health when you know you are capable, but you can't show society and end up being stigmatised as the opposite, some kind of troubled bludger.
Please keep hope. Keep looking for vids like this and try to nail down all you can that will work with your unique brain and try not to get disheartened by society's expectations and uncaring ignorance. I know that's easier said than done, and my turn around was pure luck - mentioning to someone at a powerlifting meet I had a science degree but have never found work to use it, and magically being put in touch with a world-class researcher willing to give me a chance. No lie, you need a bit of luck, and it shouldn't come down to that, but keep imagining the life you want and doing what you can to move towards it. Best of luck!
Thanks for your comment, for a moment I believed we are the same person. Currently studying my Masters and being grateful for this content.
Feel you so much!! Nice and highly relatable comment :)
@@PinataOblongata 🖤🖤🖤
The downside of having this type of brain is that it is extremely hard or even impossible to do something that you are not interested in/passionate about.
Of course you can still manage by setting aside 1 hour per day to focus on whatever you want to do. Works well for me. Highly recommend it 👍
Girl! I appreciate this so much. A mom of two, I went back to finish my degree in my late 30s and I feel like this cycle has become my life. Thank you for the encouragement.
Wow, your channel that I only just discovered has been a godsend for me after watching only two videos. I’ve managed to accomplish whatever I’ve accomplished in my life sort of in spite of myself, or despite my own bad habits, lack of discipline, whatever you want to call it. I’ve done because I am very good at certain things, which has allowed me to produce results despite my lack of consistency. You’ve laid it out here in a way that actually inspires me to believe there is a path for someone like me that is more accepting of what I’ve always told myself were my weaknesses or shortcomings. Thank you! I’ll continue following your videos!
I felt like crying listening to this. It describes how I’ve operated my whole life (now 33 y.o.) but I spent so much time beating myself up for not being consistent in the way everyone said I should be.
Thank you for making this video.
SUBSCRIBED!
same here!!!!
Maybe see a Dr, you might have ADHD. I know because I do and this is how my brain works too 😅
@@zoetaylor5167 Oh, I definitely do; was diagnosed late in high school (US). But that didn’t change the fact that people said and assumed I should or could behave like a neurotypical person when I’m not.
You took the words right out of my mouth!
😮 i feel exactly the same! I am also 33 yo
My technique for organised chaos: there's usually 10 or so things I want to learn at any one time - I put them into a randomizer app and when I'm bored I generate one then obsess about it until I'm bored of that. Here was me thinking I was some genius for leaning into my chaotic brain, the priming tip is really great, praise the algorithm!
Just use the watches. Put them into the list and when you need one to be picked, check the time. If the list is short the very last number is okay, for longer lists use the sum of the numbers. I use this method every day. I need to choose an outfit and I’m not sure? Check the time! It’s 4:32? Take the second one and go!
Wow, this tip made me smile! That's honestly brilliant
THANK YOU!!! After YEARS of being mad at myself, reading Atomic Habits as well, and always feeling like a failure, thank you so much for your relatability! Not only am I also wired different, but I also have a very unpredictable lifestyle due to the constant unpredictable games from my ex-husband, children involved. There’s no way my life will ever be consistent due to my personal situation. Thank you so much for giving me hope! You have taught me that I CAN work around my challenges, that not everyone works the same way, and to be gentle on myself.❤
I loved this video - a short burst packed full of relevant information and a refreshing new perspective on problems that a lot of us (certainly me) struggle with. I think what I miss most in my current 9-5ish life with constant little things being done over and over again "consistently" is the lack of periods of deep work where I actually progress - with my tasks or with my learning.
as someone with autism and adhd, i've been trying different systems throughout the years and times and times again, has always reverted to this kind of life style. you're the first ever who put it into words and i am so grateful. i don't feel like a failure anymore.
“I don’t feel like a failure anymore” literally cried when I read this because for the longest time I felt like I couldn’t achieve things I wanted to because of my adhd and autism
The only counter-argument I have to this passion-centric progress is that: when you are in a low-mood state in your life, doing anything for days, weeks, maybe even months, become unobtainable. Well, the reverse is also true, that when you are feeling good you get a gigantic boost in productivity, but in a state of world that we live in, that requires constant churning of work it may become unsustainable, well, because failure often leads to low-mood and it leads to failure and.... you see the point. As you said, the perspective shift helps a lot, but it is a skill that needs to be learned and it may, unfortunately, be unreliable.
As a chaotic-organized person in every aspect of my life, I found that having a hybrid model works for me the best. A big portion of my day is uncharted, and left to my own future-self to do what the hell he wants to do. But there's a small portion that I have to do, no matter what, to make a small progress, but most importantly, to keep that tasks in my psyche so when a "passion-rush" comes, they have a greater chance to be picked out of everything. Well, because if you have that type of brain you constantly forget things, even if you did them passionately or semi-consistently, one day you wake up with something else in your mind and you forget that things for months to come. I can't count how many books I forgot I was reading, despite me having a lot of fun with it, because I had something else in mind, only to remember much *much* later.
Of course, this is not the best fit-all answer to life's problems, and it has its downsides. But it worked for me so far, there's probably much better alternative working schedule that will work *the best* for me, but I am yet to find it, and I'm not that "passionate" on finding it :P
same actually. I don't have adhd, but this thing like randomly getting new ideas, or passion about completely new things is uncontrollable. i was doing some things consistently but the consistency almost killed all my passion, i just hate it. i even turned off all the notifications i get from social media to not restrict myself of checking them. Can you share your system? Can i contact you? Im just very curious about some tactics that might help me either.
Same… I deal with fucking deadlines and overlapped deadlines
I agree! As great as it sounds leaving things to when my "passion driven energy boosted" brain wants to do them, I have to suffer through the anxiety associated with being late and doing things last minute. Or if a new interest overtakes me and just displaces all the other life admin or important consistent things.
Whats helped me is ticking off the non negotiable tasks of the day aka the bare minimum then trying (but often failing) to let go of the guilt from not doing everything else. Work in progress!
Agree with this. The mood based or passion driven model is sustainable only for small scale learning like school but things out of hand very quickly in higher levels of learning and job because there are so many other factors at play - people interactions, conflicts, barrage of information to plan your learning from etc… all this can contribute to flummoxed state of mind and can stagnate a person from making any progress. I always wondered why so many ordinary people made it bigger than the real smart ones and I’d say they rope in consistency from their arsenal and keep chipping at a task day in and out.
Hybrid works well for me. If I don’t plan then I won’t do it. Writing the top three to five things for a day or week helps me get through them.
I totally relate with this. Because I have seen progress due to consistency and it feels rewarding. I've also had great amount of work done, or books read when I was passionate about the work and highly interested in the books. But you lose the passion for some unforseen and unfortunate reasons and the days don't go well and the series of failures make you depressed and you're doomed to fail. So a hybrid model can really help to keep the morale up and still have room to stir the yearning for learning and passion.
typing this during the ad break bc if i wait til the end of the video to comment, i probably wont! lmao this video is amazing. thank you. i feel seen. i wasted so much money learning how to be consistent and hating myself bc i just cant do it. i realized i already use the methods you discuss and i didnt realize that maybe it is, in fact, an actual method and not just me being okay with failure. bc its not failure. like truly thank you. ive done yoga and learned languages on-and-off for years but i never understood how im being a failure when i really am improving over time. this was a lot of words but its so personal to me. i love this video thank you.
THANK YOU. I just felt the last thread tying me to “trying to get organized” fall away after years of struggling with it. My brain works exactly like you describe and I experience the same three cycles. I just haven’t thought to optimize for this pattern before. I am so grateful you made this video.
I’m sobbing in a bus watching this. I have been battling with an ever-growing feeling of failure and futility for years now. You’ve been able to so clearly express my experience. When I loved life, I worked exactly as you describe yourself, to the T. And then I started being what everyone else wanted me to be.
I think it’s time I unlearn everything about Type 1 brain and stop forcing myself to be who I’m not. I wasn’t expecting this to be emotional at all 🤣 this is literally the first video I’ve seen of you, but please be my guru!
Very similar sentiment. I have been a successful tech marketer for over a decade, and musician, as well. In the last couple of years, I've tried to be more regimented in my work and it's proving to be a debilitating nightmare for me. From middle school to just before the pandemic, the thriving chaotic person she describes in this video, that was me. Now, attempting to 'play by the rules' of functional people that work different than I do, I've lost the magic. Nice to have some camaraderie!
@@J5L5M6 Ayyy I hear you my friend 🫂
The past couple days I’ve been learning more about type 2 brain. I said I should unlearn everything from before but no, I just need to draw from these two brains as if they were two different schools of thought, and just adapt whatever works for me. For example, working out will need a routine if I plan to grow my arms someday xD but my work can benefit greatly from me being a better steward of my energy and state of mind, which includes providing it with the chaos it needs to thrive.
I’m in love with this channel!
literally same, I cried during the whole video
Same
Be careful, because thinking like that can become addictive and you'll spiral down until it becomes harder and harder to snap out of it. Before you know it, you'll start seriously fighting against yourself, so be very careful of what you allow your thoughts to tell you.
my mother always says to me "it's okay to do nothing one day if you're feeling down, but be sure to get back once you feel like it"
Having such a mother is a blessing.
Mine too when I was younger
"not do nothing" - you mom was trying to tell you it's ok to do something this whole time and you missunderstood. lol
@@nickmurray7703 nah, it's just my broken english sorry
I WANNA CRY BECAUSE I RELATE SO MUCH I THANK YOU FOR PUTTING EVERYTHING INTO WORDS AND HELPING ME KNOW IM NOT ALONE IN THIS
Elizabeth, I have been binge watching your videos for a few days now. You are an absolute inspiration, such a (natural) beautiful, intelligent, creative, fascinating and interesting person with the most beautiful hair colour! I struggle to find friends who have the same interests as me and where to begin in improving my life, so you are a great inspiration for me. You are providing so much healing and comfort to me, which will pour out into my children too. Thank you, thank you, thank you, writing this from Portsmouth, UK.
This is the typical ADHD way of living, as a patient and a doctor I am noticing (from this video and others) a lot of the patterns that characterise an ADHD person, if you truly have ADHD, I am just amazed at how you find a way to manage it by creating rules suited for a neurodivergent brain rather than forcing the neurotypical schedule upon yourself, it is truly inspiring, being on that path myself, trying to find a way without forcing "habits" on a chaotic brain that simply won't follow. I love your content very much and I am very curious to know if you already had been tested for ADD before!
Yeah I realized I have ADHD brain too. But I taught myself to be consistent with anything that is good for me in the long run. My life is very organized now compared to how it used be so nothing is impossible you just need strong will.
@@freethinker1970 "just need a strong will" adhd is not that simple. Executive dysfunction can be debilitating in a way no 'strong will or motivation' will make you become organized. Some people will need many other interventions. It's a spectrum, different for each person. I'm glad it works for you though.
It's not "just needing" strong will. by the way, do you have a diagnosis or you mean adhd brain in another meaning?
@@BBaaaaa I mean I have an ADHD brain and I'm not an expert anyways I just share my point of view
I'm pretty sure I don't have ADHD, and my story is very similar to hers, from school to life. Why do you say she has ADHD?
@@AsdrubaleRossi same. I tested negative for ADHD, but I live the same life. I have learned to batch tasks to get them done. So for example, instead of writing 10 blog posts in 10 days, I take 3 days to write them and the schedule them. Like that. Works out fine for me.
I never really comment on anything, but you just taught me that I can finally let go of my endless war on trying to be something that I'm not, and I feel that that is worth speaking up about. I thought I was faulty for not being able to form habits. And I've always had this pattern of being behind for 90% of the time and then sprinting past everyone else in the end. I believed I was lazy, undisciplined and weak. You just taught me that I am a "chaos and passion driven person". I've always loved the quote by Einstein that if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. Thank you for giving me the relief of knowing that I am just not made for climbing trees. I am done with that now. From here on out, I will be one hell of a fish.
YESSSSSS!!!!
You basically summed up everything I wanted to comment. Ive been struggling with this for years and especially now since Im going into to my freshman year of college. Im so happy to learn that other people function this way and on top of that find tips on how I can live in this world without changing who I am! Ive found a new level of optimism!!
Save this video, download it, keep it. I have learned this in the past but I am in a dark place and I needed to hear it again. The world will continue to remind you why you aren't good enough and there aren't enough voices out there affirming that you're just fine the way you are.
Good News! The best is yet to come!
Elizabeth, your voice makes a difference!
I'll be a fish too. Let's conquer the ocean on our own terms. I really love this video. I am a chaotic person, and I also struggle with depression, PTSD and Borderline, which creates an infinity loop of everything making everything else worse. I really got my hopes up now, that grabbing on of the issues by the root and actually doing things the way my brain is supposed to do them, will make things a little better and a little easier for me
I’m so happy that you are able to propose chaos as a valid way to find success alongside organisation! This is exactly how I function too. People assume I lead a very organised life because the many different things I am able to achieve. Really I just depend on where my passions direct me to go. Your idea of “priming” yourself to get excited about something seems very useful! I will definitely try that to stop procrastinating for my finals. You put this style of working into language very beautifully.
thank you so much for this vid. i relate to you so much. i'm a multidisciplinary creative and i do things based on spontaneity. sometimes i'm working on music, sometimes i'm recording the birds outside my house and resampling their chirps and turning them into basses, sometimes i'm working on code, sometimes i'm clicking pictures of the most random things, sometimes i'm writing, sometimes i'm just thinking about things.
and 'chaos' is so visible in my art as a theme too. i absolutely love messy, detailed and intricate things.
this vid really helped me fully embrace this spontaneous, chaotic, messy side of me.
This sounds exactly like an ADHD hyperfocus. The creativity, passion, the ups the downs, you could be describing my life. Love your mentality, healthy positivity 🙏🏽
Yeah, exactly.
I'm pretty sure she has it even she maybe doesn't know about it. But I'm glad she found her way.
Yep, it's a hunter-gatherer approach...
Consistency is for the average farmer-like type of people... ;-)
Totally not invalidating how ADHD hyperfocus is a thing and can be beautifully functional if a person leans into it.
But also wanna highlight how beautiful it is that this video gives you permission to just be you. Labels be damned. what's lovely about this perspective is you DON'T need to have ADHD to be a sprinter type person.
ADHD, like all mental conditions, on a spectrum. A side effect of tying a way of being *exclusively* to certain conditions (ADHD, neuro-divergence, depression etc.) is that it prevents people from adopting them without either obtaining a diagnosis or self-disgnosing/adopting the Identity. But what if you genuinely just don't have enough of an executive function disorder to have the disorder?
What if there may be a subset of neurotypical people who may thrive from having a voluntary hyperfocus-type workflow. But since they're "typical" enough (whatever that means) to adopt this "consistent routine" lifestyle prescribed by society painlessly, they'll never know.
Tldr; it's okay to be you! And a productive life come in all shapes, sizes and rhythms!
@@rikaze I'd like to thank you for this comment because it addresses something that I was kinda struggling with, I feel like I kind of fall right inbetween the two brain types that we're described in the video, I'm pretty much always thinking and have trouble focusing on a lot of stuff, and I find schedules and habit forming rather hard. But it's hard to say wether I'm on the ADHD spectrum, I mean I have a history of ASD but I already did a test with a psychologist to look for signs of ADD or ADHD and it was rather inconclusive.
If anything I'm just glad to see that the whole "1% everyday" thing so many people put forward isn't all that, and that it's okay to take a different approach, that makes me feel a lot better already.
@@lawncrow glad it resonated and that you feel better. And yea, it's so weird that so many of us end up deferring to external authority around what works best for our own bodies and rhythms when we're all so different, biologically, mentally and emotionally. Wonder if our bodies/minds ever go "I ALREADY KNOW BEST! WHY U NO LISTEN TO ME!!!" lol
I feel so much better about myself now. So I'm just a chaotic, passion-driven soul, not an always-procrastinating, stupid, lazy chubby dude. Thanks!
Seeing so many people here think the same way I do about passion and doing fun things 10000% is mind-blowing and so relieving.
I second that!
Thank you for these elaborate insights! They're really eyes-openig and my favourite is that for people who love doing things passionatly, it's okay to wait and gain that passion. I was so confused in high school when I saw classmates submitting assigments long before the deadline, when I was only ready to finish them the night of the deadline. And it really tricked me into believing these "last-minute" works didn't deserve much credit, when in reality, I can realise now, those exact works were gaining much more possitive feedback that any else. I feel for us, the passionate learners, now. Thank you once again🖤
I’m so happy I found your channel. My bodybuilder self defaults to consistency is key, habits must be formed, but I never fail and I’m so ahead. It’s such a mind twist
OMG I can't believe there's someone out there in the world who not only has a brain that functions like mine, but is able to articulate it so well, convey that IT'S OK, and give tips on how to work around this way of thinking, so here's a massive THANK YOU!
It seems that everyone with ADHD has the same brain. Stumbling about the ADHD subreddit was sort of weird. Random strangers were literally describing my life.
This is basically what I wanted to say. So, well said lol.
Same I`m happy now. But wait do i have ADHD? I don`t know the signs or anything, Just thought that i`m being childish and lazy and dumb. Please help.
Looked it up but i`m not hyperactive , i`m never hyperactive. I`m missing something.
@@StanViviLee there are types of ADHD which does not manifest as external hyperactivity, but can be better described as "internal hyperactivity". It is also called ADD or "ADHD-PI" (predominantly inattentive)
I'd encourage you to read the book "driven by distraction".
That book made me go straight to a doctor and get a diagnosis at age 24.
@@MCTV1000Faqs thanks I will. What was surprising is that someone befriended me thinking I had ADHD, for emotional support. Didn't know I had it, still don't but I'll read the book. Thanks again.☺️
I could never explain how I was so academically successful and yet be such a lazy person (which I dont think like that about myself anymore), but this video has changed my mind so much and will definitely help me to not beat myself down for not being able to create habits and learn to embrace the way my brain works
I mean that‘s just how undiagnosed ADHD with being ‚gifted‘ works.
And finishing your schooling in utter chaos clearly means you can’t be suffering from adhd, because for you to have that your grades have to fail.
This just obviously doesn‘t work anywhere else in life where pure intelligence doesn’t just fix it with spurts of doing stuff close before a deadline.
That sock lying on the floor for two months doesn’t have a deadline.
Literally same
It s the ADHD girl get a diagnosis
There’s an article in Psychology Today that might help too, titled “There Is No Such Thing as Laziness”
@@kingdom7889 Oh, that's cool. I've often said the same thing. I'll have to check it out.
You just opened a whole new perspective for me. Although I did have a feeling I am a chaotic and sponaneous type of person in achieving goals, the ‘society’ did exactly what you said in the beginning - atomic habits, consistency, discipline. Wow. They are actually not for everyone. This resonates so much with me and I am grateful for this video. Thank you Elizabeth, you are an amazing woman.
Exactly!!! I was reluctant to tap on this video because I was sick of seeing people go on about atomic habits and consistency. It was driving me insane because I knew myself too well. Turbulent and spontaneous! 😂 but this is something I've never heard of before, and since I've already been kind of doing this unknowingly for a while now, I actually feel motivated to try and apply it to learning Chinese/Korean/Japanese. Other videos I'd go like "Here we go again with the Type 1 ways.... After 2 days of being pumped I'll lose interest, not wasting my time." But it isn't the case at all here!🎉 Subscribed to home girl
I just came across your channel randomly, I struggle a lot with memorization and being chaotic with my organizational skills. I definitely felt a connection with your video. Super helpful insights, I love these types of videos. It's refreshing to see someone break down everything and explain it in a simple way that's easy for everyone to understand. I feel motivated more than ever on how to approach and organize myself for tasks I want to conquer. Awesome video!
As someone with ADHD and Autsim, this is the first video that's actually talked about the best ways to leverage the inconsistencies I have to the best effect. It's very comforting, but also helps in such a strange way. Thank you!
Half way through but this really feels like a video saying "Hey, I'm going to address every self-help link you've ever read and tell you why it's bad when you have ADHD", and honestly I could not be happier :)
I resonate so strongly with this! As someone who has episodic depressive episodes, habits are so hard because I’ll just like uproot everything I normally do when depression hits. I have mitigated these episodes by just taking care of myself and let them pass (quicker than if I try to force them away) but I really struggle with habit building because of this!
Got 5 mins into this video and was literally sobbing. This is SO ME and so relatable, and I have never heard anyone ever articulate what I'm feeling so well and so precisely. Thank you, genuinely, SO MUCH for this. I've struggled against habits and routines for my whole life and always felt inferior, but your video has made me feel less alone and far more capable in minutes.
This very accurately describes the ADHD struggle. I face similar issues and gain knowledge and skills in an extremely similar way. Find your neurotypicality and thrive
As a highly-creative passion-driven person, I can’t explain how grateful I am for this video. I’m saving it for later. I’ve been getting so discouraged that I haven’t been able to build consistent habits or just “get things done” like I expect. I do everything in wild bursts of passion, and I love doing that. I suppose I just need to learn to balance this work flow with my schedule and deadlines.
Thank you so much! I can't say how many times during this video I felt I could relate to the chaos happening. I appreciate your wise words, and good fortunes.
"Falling behind is not quitting". You have single-handedly saved my life.
This is really a life-changing perspective shift. I've been coming to realize in the last few weeks that I'm never going to be consistent. But for the first time, I've also been realizing that I'm still getting things done. I don't think there's anything I'm going to do consistently. But it all gets done eventually, and when it's critical, it gets done on time. I'm going to keep going with my messy and unpredictable productivity, and try to optimize for how my brain works, too.
This video perfectly encapsulates the adhd concept of having an "interest based nervous system" as apposed to the regular needs based nervous system 😁 very helpful! And forgiving
ADHD... my ass. Puting interest above needs is one of the oldest tropes of human history. That's what the whole epic of Gilgamesh is all about and it's the oldest known story today. Also very common as a romantic story. Romeo and Juliet, Die Leiden des Jungen Wherter, Die Räuber and Stuff like that.
In those stories going against the norm which is focusing on the needs is always portraited as romantic but bad. Or at least very harmful to the individual. That's because it was beneficial to the leaders. And it is still today. They even invented a fucking mental condition for it. Putting interest above needs is the natural way of life. Everybody dreams of it who is putting his needs above his interest. He is only doing that to get to a point in which he can only care about his personal interest aka applying for pension.
And all rich fucks enjoy this lifestyle from the get go since over 4000 years. You don't hear them crying about ADHD.
@@Noqtis Ok….? So what? Still the clip is great strategy for someone with problems focusing like having ADHD. It can be a real struggle for people.
@@Noqtis No one mentioned this being a new idea. These are also poor literary examples. What does Romeo and Juliet, a story about two teenagers falling in love in spite of familial conflict have to do with people struggling to be productive while simultaneously being aware that it's working against their needs or values. I'm sure the message of these stories wasn't "don't be a romantic. You saw what happened to them", but people wanting to write entertaining tragedies.
I'm sorry people made you feel like your value lies wholly in traditional ideas of productivity, but you don't have to project that onto people that struggle with adhd /nm
Yeah, homegirl just straight up explained neurodivergency xD
@@Noqtis before such things could be measured, it was very common for people to assume that ADHD was 'made up'. However, now that all kinds of things in the human body can not only be seen, but observed in action and measured, only people who are not yet aware of these scientific and medical advances would still say that ADHD is 'made up'. People have very different ideas about what causes it, but the actual evidence of it is now quite clear and measurable. This provides empirical data and those facts and figures clearly indicate a condition that correlates with (and explains the symptoms of) what we call ADHD. You are clearly very well read and have listed tales that are very dear to my heart too, but equally, many of those stories are not placing 'interest above needs' because (let's use a basic Maslow here) reproduction, security, food and shelter are needs and not interests. Studying animation is an interest, dying for love - aka your choice of mate for the reproductive need - or winning ground for your clan or country (this would be things like food and shelter) do not actually fall into the 'interest' category at all. The literature you cite does not demonstrate your initial statement 'Putting interest above needs is one of the oldest tropes'. It it very confusing, because we use the same words to indicate slightly different things across academic fields and this can lead to some little tangles!
Super! Initially I've thought I'd hit the speed up button accidentally. Really refreshing ideas/words/video! After watching the video and reading a few comments I can feel that I'm not alone anymore. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us, it might be helpful and kind of uplifting for some of us.
This is the most ADHD relatable video without even mentioning ADHD I've seen. Specially the idea that what works for Brain Type 1 doesn't work for my Brain Type 2 is a feeling I've always had.
The most important thing I learned from you is finding what suits myself best. I realised now that if something doesn't work well for me it doesn't mean that something wrong with me and I should try harder. Now I'm just learning about myself, learning to trust myself and looking for creative ways to use things that make me who I am. Like you said in the first part of the video, I feel very much fall behind, catch up, go ahead and I don't see it as a flaw anymore.
Thaaankkkk youuuu!!!!! I have never felt so seen omg! and I berate myself because of all the self help I've consumed over the years and the discrepancy between my image of how I should be and how I act. I wake up full of motivation but sometimes I just end up jumping around the house without direction because my schedule is too boring for me. I really want to get these things done and work on my projects but I feel guilty for not doing the other things. Thank you you reduced the self-hatred associated with my goals. I've been working on myself all throughout my 20s, never been lazy but still haven't accomplished many of the things that I wanted to. I finished a bachelor degree in Astronomy which was difficult for me, but I''m proud that I did. Currently I'm looking for work but I struggle because I've never had a real job and feel like maybe I can't ever find my place, I also have rejection sensitive dysphoria associated with my ADHD.. but this video has taken away so much of the guilt, self hatred and inadequacy I feel, I'm very glad I procrastinated to watch this.
This video changed my life. I do not have words to say how grateful I am right now. It felt like a hug, i feel less alone after this. Thank u thank u thank u
The slow burn priming for something you want to learn without letting yourself actually start is 100% how I manage to learn so much so passionately with ADHD. I love your explanation.
This video brought me to tears as I've been building a lot of anxiety lately for not being able to do things "consistently"... And I used to deal with it just fine during school, before everyone told me I had to be consistent.
Have you checked for ADHD? I was diagnosed this year and I'm still trying to figure out how to live and be a functional adult but I promise you it helped to name the "beast" I have to live with. I wish you good luck with your projects.
Recognizing the need that is being fulfilled by “procrastinatory” behavior vs allowing it to sit unidentified beneath the umbrella of laziness or a lack of self control was so useful- thank you very much for the example afterwards.
I think it would be great to see a video categorizing needs and how those needs can be met in ways you wouldn’t expect in theory but make perfect sense in practice (like when people talk long hot showers as a substitute for touch and connection) and alternative ways to meet those needs, or how to analyze your patterns.
I think I’m going to start making a list of the things I find myself doing when avoiding a task and categorize the needs they’re meeting and try to find alternatives
You're so eloquent, I loved your explanation. Something in my head finally clicked - I am the same way, chaotic and passionate, falling behind all the time (but not getting ahead very often). Someone in the comments suggested it's ADHD thing, which only confirms my long-term suspition that I have it. I think it truly is liberating to embrace our own personal chaos.
A writer I admire (I forget who) said that they set aside 4 hours a day for writing. They don't have to write, but they're not allowed to do anything else during that time. If you're a chaotic person or have ADHD, it's a good strategy because your brain will freak out with no stimulation, so you'll do the writing in order to avoid boredom.
Love this! Trying to get on a good writing schedule but alas, I'm not a 'schedule' person as Elizabeth so aptly describes here. I've got to try this - makes sense. Craving dopamine and let it be the only way to get that hit you need! Thanks :)
It was Neil Gaiman
or it will completely fuck your psyche lol.
regularly freaking out is not a joyous experience
Sounds great in theory, but when I've tried that my ADHD brain is a spiteful bitch and goes in to shutdown mode. "If I can't do the thing I want, neither can you!" Immediately it starts causing me to sleep. I never had a habit of napping before college, brain would KO me every time I attempted doing anything productive for school. Took so much caffeine to force the little shit awake long enough for me to graduate.
@@MaitlandJones exactly this lol. I have autism too in addition to adhd and when things happen that are too much for the little meat blob I just topple over and fall asleep.
forcing yourself is rarely the right thing to do unless it's a true and real emergency
I'm 60 years old and this is how I have lived my entire life. It's a great way to live when you know how your mind takes in and processes information and when you understand your internal motivation system. I used different terms to describe the points you made.
1. Pressure cooker: Like using a pressure cooker, you put all the ingredients in the pot and turn up the heat. At first nothing happens, but as the heat and pressure builds up, or the deadline looms or project needs to be completed, a huge burst of energy is directed to finish the project.
2. Engage curiosity: One percent improvements, actually any improvements, don't mean anything if there is no interest in doing, learning or being it. Let your curiosity be your guide and you will learn what you need in an accelerated amount of time. And it will take you to amazing places.
3.Experiments in curiosity: I hate the term passion because passion fades. I prefer to have open spans of time to follow my curiosity and allow myself to go as deep as I want or need. I want as much information as possible - to see the whole picture - so my mind can weed out the unnecessary. I can now spot the unnecessary info as I take it in so that streamlines the process.
4.Seed ideas and sprouting: After a time of taking in information I let it sink in to create the seed ideas. If it's seems like a good idea then I just let it sprout in my subconscious mind until it breaks through and grabs my curiosity. Then I follow it until the idea is exhausted. In the meantime I can enjoy other areas in my life knowing that on some level I'm still working on creating something or solving something.
Yes!!! Tysm 🙏 I’ve had these experiences, but I haven’t been able to pinpoint them so categorically!
Excellent! Do you have more terms?
I've been documenting the places my curiosity has taken me. It helps to be able to go back and deepen my understanding or pick up a thought where I left it.
As a teen who has been trying to make myself be that type 1 brain, this video is so genuinely comforting.
my teachers and everyone online seemed to only talk about consistency and 1% everyday things and I tried really really hard to do the same thing since I thought that it was the only way to be productive.
I always felt really ashamed that I couldn’t do what was deemed “productivity” and as a result of trying to make myself be the type 1 brain, I only ended up doing nothing at all, from the bottom of my heart thank you so much, this video felt like it lifted a huge weight of embarrassment off of my shoulders.
Excellent advice, I've been this way all my life and the best success came through chaos. My son is 5 and almost certainly adhd (getting it checked out) and I'm so glad it's a time of broader acknowledgement of diverse brains. Embracing strengths and managing weaknesses rather than trying to squeeze into the 'disciplined' box. Thank you
Best wishes from Tasmania
I've always felt guilty about priming, because I always thought it was a form of procrastinating. I completely see it does inspire a lot of motivation, now. Because whenever I do this, I often get bursts of energy to get more creative stuff done. Thank you for bringing light to it and making it positive.
As a person with raging ADHD I think you just brought my confidence so, so much up! This is what I needed to hear today
I am a level of chaotic that just procrastinates until the anxiety of the deadline motivates me to do everything in 1 go because of my crippling fear of failure.. I'm in the process of getting assessed for ADHD lol
@@quintecence sounds like a good idea. I also only got diagnosed a year ago all tho i’m almost 18. It really helps. And this video just made me feel good abt always falling behind and teaching it all yourself in the end.
@@justanotheracc1678 nice - I'm 26 and basically only function if I have like 30 things to do at once.. otherwise I procrastinate. Truly a blessing and a curse.
@@quintecence Same here. But yea we also need to talk more abt the cool sides of adhd/working patterns like these. I doubt I’d be able to improvise or think creatively as good as I can if I didn’t have adhd for example.
A-men
The way I do things is genuine, and it works every single time, most of the times, but TIL I'm not alone.
Cheers for this wonderful video, keep it up!
This video was incredibly validating. I grew up always being praised for my talent and “potential”, and I simply expected a great deal out of myself - that I’d “grow up” and become wildly successful somehow. As I got older the friction between those huge expectations and the equally frequent chastising and punishment for being “lazy” compounded into the absolutely wrecked self-image I have today. I’ve seen myself as a failure, and while my life has crashed and burned in recent months I’m realizing I’m projecting onto myself a version that’s simply disingenuous to who I really am. I get things done when I’m in passionate flow, and I’m not the loser I always feel I am when I can’t keep on a single task for a long period. There’s infinite variety in human minds, and our individual gifts are just the flipside of our supposed deficits. It’s hard not to see yourself through the standards of “success”: everyone has an opinion on what you’re doing wrong when they see you struggling, after all. It feels better knowing other people are trying to accept the “chaotic flow” in themselves too. Thanks for sparking this dialogue.
oh my god. are you me? 😭 all these things about expectations and feeling like a failure are literally what my life is
The gifted child with all that "potential" is messed up by society from the beginning. Your bars are so high they can never be attained, cause you have to learn the simple things first like other people, but their expectations are set lower than yours. So you get overwhelmed because you're expected to suddenly perform better than your peers and it's supposed to be so easy for you without any of the fundamentals that they've had to drill over and over while studying since they have "average" intelligence. Add ADHD and it's a lot worse. Then you see yourself falling further and further behind the "normal" kids wondering what's wrong with you cause you're supposed to be so smart, and you figure you'll never be able to catch up so it's too late. But comparison is poison; all that really matters is your own unique journey. Some people graduate college at 20, many at 22, but some at 24, 26, 52, 78... everyone's path is different and their own.
Completely empathize with this!!!