I have ADHD, so starting and quitting things is very common for me. But recently I realized that I'm coming back to the same things even if years have passed. So I don't see it as quitting anymore, I'm just taking a break for a while.
I feel your pain. Society sort of blames you for being who you are too. "No consistency", "no motivation"...they really only want worker ants nowadays.
This has happened to me over and over again - I “quit” something for a while, and a year or few later it’s back, often in a new format, with renewed energy and depth of understanding. Life operates in spirals - be inspired!
Hey can anyone help me please. Look I was a very hardworking and motivated child but when I was about 15 years old I started noticing that i have lost all motivation to study I wanted tasks to be completed quickly and starting having poor time management. Now I'm 20 years old and still still being going on my grades have dropped from 90 to 70..i am getting depressed day by day and thinking I'm not hardworking enough for my medical dream. What is wrong with me?? (Also I don't have any social media accounts for distraction)
@@pepper2240 How much time are you spending on studies? Maybe you're just bad at it. Using the wrong methods. Need help. Etc. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Your subconscious might find love & the biological imperative more important than what you're trying to focus on. You need to balance and prioritize. Perhaps you have unmet social needs. Another possibility is you're distracted because you're bored (leads to multitasking and procrastination.) Maybe some study partners can help with that. Your mind will tend toward the easiest and least boring option.
@@pepper2240 you might be getting clinically depressed, please go see a psychiatrist if you're able to. Also, as another person pointed out, you might be feeling a need of fulfillment in other areas of your life. Try to investigate that, either with a therapist or alone. Being hardworking and productive is not all there is to being human - if you have always prioritized studies in your life, the parts that are lacking might be getting more evident now. Wish you the best!
Being diagnosed with adhd, I'm finally realizing I'm not lazy and there are people like me. I have a million different interests and never finish anything. Your videos made me feel much much better. Thank you!
I specially relate to your third point. The old me, on the path of becoming a doctor, would freak out at every challenge that may threaten my success, because failing means a huge chunk of me being taken away and a loss of identity. The current me holds onto principles that form my identity. Being a doctor is now just a way, out of many, to fulfil these principles. Not only that made me feel like a burden being lifted off my shoulder, but also helped managing the anxiety of failure that causes procrastination.
Omg, this reminds me so much of the book in reading right now: Mindset by Carol S. Dweck. She talks about "fixed mindset" versus "growth mindset." She explains that people with a "fixed mindset" (probably all of us to some degree tbh) see failure as a threat to their identity (ie. I failed one test in fourth grade so I can't possibly be a smart person). Therefore, opportunities for failure (aka Challenges) must be avoided at all costs.
You literally make me feel so seen and so not alone.. When you explain your thought processes behind why and how you think about certain things or how your mind works, it's literally like listening to everything I advocate for for myself, and no one believes me or cares to listen or understand and that leads me to gaslight and hate myself. I'm so glad I found your channel, your content is really helping me.
You're definitely not alone because she makes me feel seen as well, and now you're making me feel seen about feeling seen. Everyone is seeing everyone tonight
Wow I’ve never heard of someone experiencing the EXACT same thing I have! Society has glamorized quitting but that’s not always the best option. Understanding this third option sounds like the perfect middle ground so thank you!
You’re the first person who I’ve seen also express “I want to do everything” fully and literally. Have felt it my whole life and have never known where to put the feeling. The strategic detachment is so important because I do often feel trapped or like I’m narrowing down my potential when I choose one option over another eg. My degree in x vs y which I still love
I feel the same. Lately I'm just doing as many things at the same time as possible and setting my bar higher to be at least decent at them. Which means I can't excel even though I could in an ideal world where I could focus. But even though it's stressful, at least I don't feel I would've missed on some of my potential when I'm too old.
8:32 "I know it sounds quite selfish and self-focused, but it really really helps in fueling motivation for things that I would otherwise be completely unable to find" The thing is, that's human. Every one of us is human, and we innately don't want to do anything that doesn't benefit us, so we really *do* have to *use* our selfish desires to our advantage in order to get things done a lot of the time.
Indeed. And since she mentioned things like improving communication and becoming a better person as skills she wans to improve, it's pretty much the opposite of selfish.
I will admit, I love quitting things. The relief of not doing something I didn't want to do/that was hard, is very strong in me. This feels like such a successful way of coming at things, removing the risk/reward stuff that - you're right - doesn't motivate me and instead thinking about the skills I want...yes.
I believe a portion of the ability she derives as a content creator actually stems back to what she's talking about here and how to use the core values you fundamentally have time and energy for to frame your work. In doing this she had devoted significant time, effort and energy in order to improve her ability to create these video essays within a reasonable time duration. Because she values the skills that are involved in the process and can explicitly lay out the path to improve on what she values, it leads to eventually reaching this level of competence in a task that requires a combination of several different skills.
As someone who has ADHD plus many comments on many of her videos, I think it's highly likely Elizabeth has ADHD. Many of us with it have an absolutely insatiable thirst for knowledge. We are often not just intensely curious but also incredible problem solvers and creative thinkers. What she's done is analyze how she best works and come up with a solution for how to utilize her personal strengths (knowledge devouring, processing, connecting, applying) in order to achieve her goals. Many people with ADHD find that their brains essentially never turn off. Her brain is probably running as fast as she's speaking, or maybe faster. As someone extremely interested in similar fields as Elizabeth, I find that I consume content that is knowledge enhancing a LOT of hours of my day. While my co-workers are listening to music while they work, I'm listening to a PBS special about the latest findings in Cosmology (the origin of the universe). When I'm not consuming that type of material, I am often thinking about the things I've recently watched or listened to and asking questions about it or wondering how this new information connects to the rest of what I know. Essentially, if she does have ADHD, she has a brain running much much faster than the average person's and she's also learned to work with it. Between the two, she'll never run out of content 😊
A useful caveat for anyone who feels like this is excessive theorising for motivation, a lot of what is described may start off formal (listing skills, understanding your strategy etc.) but with practise and trust you can internalise a lot of it and it becomes second nature, like riding a bike!
I've never had the mentality of wanting to objectively quit something. I might have stopped doing it for a long period of time but I've never thought "yeah I'm never doing this again it's too hard" etc. It will always still subconsciously be at the back of mind to come back to at some point if I choose to do so.
Same here. Everything I start, no matter how long I stay away from that thing, I always want to return back to doing it. However, what ends up happening is that those things just haunt me, as I want to get back into them as soon as possible, but I just don't. Then I start feeling like maybe I'm just don't want it bad enough or something along those lines. Man, I don't even know. It's hard trying to address this stuff, and at the same time, it's hard to just leave everything and let it go up in smoke.
@@oceeta I've spent a lot of time guilting myself over even the things I do in private inconsistently because that's what other people do and I guess I internalized it. Kinda funny how people guilting me for not doing something consistently means there's much bigger gaps between when I stop and start again.
I just discovered your channel, and it could be titled how to survive ADHD. I just got my second diagnosis in my mid thirties and this time, being an adult, I can make decisions with regards to my treatment. Watching your videos, especially the one about the chaotic mindset, really helped me better organize. You truly deserve all the thanks, all the sponsors, all the likes and all the clicks 🙏
My Takeaway from This Video (For myself, and hopefully for others that this interpretation helps) MAIN: The focus of this video seems to me to be the skills that are needed to perform certain tasks, and trying to resolve those skills with the values that we hold. Keep this in mind as you go through each point of the video. 1) Object of My Desire. This approach to motivating oneself requires the person to do three things: a) Completely diregard any sort of object results that come with the completion of a task. These object results are both things that the person cares and doesn't care for. For example, these could be grades, money, fame, respect, etc. b) Highlight all the skills that are needed to complete this task, no matter how little those skills seem to contribute to the task's completion. c) Cross-reference those skills highlighted within the task at hand, and the skills that are tied with one's values. For example, if you would like to be a better communicator (value), and the task at hand requires some level of competency at communication (skill), that is a great motivator, as you then realize that the task which you want to perform is actually a vehicle that you can use to develop the skill of being a better communicator. NOTE: The key thing to realize here is that the values which you hold are more often than not, tied to the skills that you need to develop to uphold those values. Those skills in turn can also be found in the task that you want to perform. 2) Meeting Your Heroes. This approach to continued motivation is based on progress at the task at hand. Progress is a very powerful motivator, as we are likely to stick with something when we see that we are competent at, or at least getting better at it. The approach of meeting one's heroes is a way to find people that are very good at the thing that you want to do, and make a breakdown of exactly what skills they have that move the needle of progress on that task. NOTE: Even if the skills they might have are not exactly what you are interested in developing, you can still mix them in with skills that you do enjoy developing. The essence of this approach is to focus the majority of your efforts on actually doing things that improve your competency, which will in turn, increase your motivation to perform the task. 3) Back on Track. This approach is used to maintain motivation when you feel that you are trapped in doing a thing that you perhaps started out enjoying, but over time, your interest declined for said thing. This is a perspective shift that allows you to see all the things that you're doing/want to do for what they really are (vehicles to develop the skills needed to uphold your values). Basically, you are not on the path to doing/becoming anything. You are on the path to being yourself, and the things that you do are things that help you uphold the values you keep. You are never trapped, and everything that you do is for you, your future, and your skills. 4) Sixth Sense (Instinct Building). Finally, this approach to having sustained motivation over the long term is one that focuses on intentionally developing a "sixth sense" for the task that you are performing. This is acheived by creating feedback loops for every single skill that the task requires, as well as constant changes being made off of the feedback gotten. These are my key takeaways from the video. They are mostly for me, but I do hope this helped someone better understand the things being hinted at here by Elizabeth. The video is chock full of valuable information, and I've already watched it at least 5 times, and I find a new thing every time! Arguably one of the best videos I've ever seen on this platform, and the channel itself has been such a breath of fresh air for people like me that feel that there must be something fundamentally wrong with them when they don't want to do things/feel bad that they aren't performing well at the things that they are doing. Cheers!
I liked the way you summarized it. After watching the video I'm still confused about the last part about instinct building, I'm not sure what Elizabeth means when creating feedback loops and what instinct am I building by doing this and how does that help me to reframe failures?
@@shdowdragon3 So, when I initially got this notification, I wasn't really sure how to respond. Now, I feel like I do. Feedback loops are essentially created when you have a way of testing yourself at a skill you want to become better at. You test yourself, and based on the test results, change your approach to gaining said skill. To answer your next question, it just helps to reframe failures as learning opportunities. Those failures will be used to learn lessons in the future that are then stored away in your long-term memory. Those memories in turn influence your future decisions and thus, build up an instinctual understanding of a skill/concept over time. I hope that clarifies things a bit for you. I'm so sorry it took me 5 months to reply you.
I have only met one person on my life who had the same desire to learn EVERYTHING and gotten zero understanding for why I start AND quit so so many things all the time. I've also been so frustrated by that behaviour myself. So so good to see I am not alone and there's a way to handle it better. I watched this video immediately after "You're not lazy" and I'll probably watch more of your videos, well, probably right now. 5 am. Why not. Thank you.
Please don't quit RUclips, I just found you and what you create here is much more original than the endlessly repeated well-used information I see in a lot of self-help books & videos... You're impressive. And this video ( specifically the part about skills vs path ) made me realize that this is precisely what I've been doing but without any formal definition ( and not systematically ). This video is gonna help SO MANY people! I've already sent it to two of my friends. And I will incorporate it into my Obsidian self-help vault.
I found your channel this week and you're opening my eyes on many things, since I have more or less the same capability of doing almost impossible things when I really want it, but routines and repetitive things are the best way to let me abandon lots of projects. Thank you again for your suggestions, you're a real inspiration!
The way Ive managed to stick to habits and not quit - overhauling how I approach taking care of my brain (exercise, journaling, studying etc) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my journaling habit - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on YT. After a really bad depression phase I started to believe I couldn’t change and I’d feel that horrible forever. Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up.
That's a super smart idea omg :o I might try the same, I tend to do the same and I think it'd be helpful (and also I'd be off my phone if I recorded it)
This!!! I’ve been doing this with working out. I hate it & I was quitting after a few days. I decided to exercise for 10 min, then 15 & run for 5min, then 10 etc I can see amazing results as I work out 2 x a day now and I start to like it because I can actually see the results. I was going too hard in the past too
i relate to u so badly on that last line im so hard on myself i go 110% one day or 2 and then it comes down im def trying smol efforts now:) the thing is i wanna be able to reach my full potential but i just cant seem to ik i can do better than this but idk i think situaions have changed than earlier so ive to accept the changes and just try being consistent daily ...
@@samriddhidubey9759 The smol consistent efforts really do build up. One day you check in and realize you’ve made so much progress. But it takes time and doing it this way ensures long term change. It’s a daily battle though because its like my brain was programmed to recognize a hard core effort but that method just doesn’t work for me and thats ok.
@@samriddhidubey9759 Im the same: going extremely hard on myself. I was making huge plans every day and ended up with doing almost nothing. I've been suffering from depression for years, so this made me feel worse even more. But this year I'm on a serious healing journey and I came to the point when I'm tire of quitting. I sat with myself and asked: is it better if I run 1km every day or learn Italian for 15min than do it for a week and quit? I started with extremely small habits like: wake up & immediately drink apple vinegar; then I added read for 15 min etc... and was practising it every day for a week or so before I added another habit I wanted to cultivate. Now, I dont have to think about them as I do them automatically. The same with running: I started with not even 1km, then 1.2km, 1.5km and so on....very very slowly. Now I'm on almost 4km, but i dont pay attention to the distance (one day I can run 3km, the next 2.5km). I just want my body/ brain to understand that the quitting is over and we'll do it slowly. I also want to reach my full potential, but I understood that it's better to start with small steps and be proud of myself because I actually did it, thn cry every day because I wasted another day. Start slowly and you will see the results much faster than you think :)
Today is my birthday and I consider this video one of my top gifts. Thank you so much for your insight, quitting/abandoning projects has been one of my main concerns since...well, since childhood. Your explanations are conceptual enough to apply them to various different projects/tasks, yet perfectly comprehensible as well as approachable. Again, thanks for this vid, much appreciated!
The way you approach to solve problems in your life is just amazing! I wanted to become a physicist at 17 as well, I didn't went to CERN (jealous btw), but I finally graduated from physics at age 27. Finding motivation, gathering back the motivation is extremely hard, and I gave up so many times. But, solved them with a little bit similar ways. I am learning so much from you, and hope that I can apply those at my master's studies! thank you for sharing your ideas and advices!
Elizabeth, I find all your videos very useful but this one is something that addresses an immediate issue that I'm dealing with. Thank you for giving me some fantastic ideas on how to work through a quitting temptation I'm managing.
I’m quite literally in shock at how intensely all of this spoke to me. I’ve been in the middle of absolutely loosing my shit 24/7 for all of these exact reasons for most of my waking life and I think I’m probably going to have to rewatch this a couple dozen times and actually implement this into my life so I don’t pass up some of the best content on the internet, subjectively of course. I would imagine that it must be difficult to realize the beauty that you’ve blossomed into this universe by uploading this video, thank you for the advise :)
Your videos are a HUGE help! I've always been an overachiever, but I was never one for discipline (I did manage to be for 2 years but then burned out) and I feel like you're the only productivity youtuber that gets my brain.
I am less than 6 minutes into the video and my hearth is pumping like I just discovered the holy grail. I have never seen so much value delivered so quickly directly to my hearth...
This is actually genius. I have to learn dancing for my dream job but I am not naturally good at it and was talken down by teachers a lot so I always struggled to really commit to getting better even though I would love to be a good dancer. And this thing of "you have to do this" soon became overwhelming to me and I break out in tears every time I again just don't get it right. But this technique really helps to take the pressure away and focus on the steps of the road more than the greater goal, so I can enjoy the process more. I will try it! Thank you very much for the tipp!
my.. the tracks part 13:58 is like spiritual teaching, but CLEARLY STATED. i'm so happy to have finnaly found intelligence on the internet. thank you for this video with very effective communication with the flow of informations in your speech and these helpfull sketches.
I found your channel in my recommendations, and last week I literally had to (I had to) binge watch all your videos to, in a sense detox myself from the unhealthy productivity culture that I have grown up in. Yesterday, I finished binge listening to all your podcasts. And I absolutely LOVE the part where you talk about “Honey, what would make this better for you”. It’s so thought provoking and inspiring! Keep making more content plz. I love these so so much.
I've been bingeing your videos. There's no other productive RUclips channel that has made me feel more seen. I was making notes about finding 'intrinsic motivation' as opposed to focusing on object results from the previous videos and saw that you've made a notion page for it! Couldn't have bought it quicker!!! It's gonna be so helpful. Thank you so much.
Can I just say, I LOVE your visual representations of thoughts, ideas and concepts. They are so helpful with better absorbing complex abstract information and I honestly feel that your videos give me so much more real understanding than videos that may present similar ideas, but with only B-Roll slapped over it - I absorb so much less of the nuances of the idea then. Your visuals really derive home the details that are so vital. The fact that being a good communicator is important to you makes your videos really amazing (and you’re SMASHING that goal btw).
This is honestly one of if not the most helpful video I have foundon youtube. I have ADHD so it's hard to focus on stuff regardless of if I like it or not. My ADHD has made me question whether or not I like the things that I have liked for so long. This video recontextualizes my experience in a way that I can comprehend and easily implement. Amazing stuff! Keep it up!!!
This is huge. Thank you. I've been struggling with enjoying the means vs. the ends forever: finding that as soon as there is an end I'm aiming towards, I lose my intrinsic motivation in something that otherwise I would love to do. Your skills approach sounds really promising. Thanks so much for a) coming up with this and b) sharing it so clearly
Dear Elizabeth, I've recently discovered your channel and I am so grateful for your videos. Until now I've been trying and failing to live like most people do. The more I failed, the more I realized that I seem to be different. Eventually I started to wonder if it was even possible for me to live like an ordinary person. I did realize that I had to embrace my not so typical brain, but was scared if I'd be able to find my way. Your channel gave me courage. The way you do things your way and seeing where it got you is inspiring. Most people seem to want to become different or better, but I feel like your goal is to become the truest form of yourself. You gave me the courage and methods to try being my authentic self. Thank you so much ❤ (Also if you ever decided to write a book: I would definitely buy it)
I figured out earlier this year that I need to focus on skills and not object tasks, but I've yet to implement a way to keep track. It's so easy to fall into unhelpul thinking patterns... But I'm getting plenty of good and useful ideas from your videos! Love how structured and clear you are.
This video is invaluable. I cannot even explain how silly I felt that I wanted to do so much and the anxiety I felt when I realized I couldn't. I consistently "ran out of motivation" for things I was so fired up about. It's nice to feel understood and less alone. Thank you so much for this!
Thank God you decided to do youtube. This is exactly the way I function. The closest people in my life will never understand this way of functioning and thinking. They'll call you wishy-washy and fickle minded. I'm a fallback and catchup kind of girl, the chaotically organised type. It was fine and nobody cared when I was in school. But everything changed when I became an adult. Being chaotically organised is something people will never easily understand. And I can't blame them. It almost looks like you're playing with your options and choices in life. But trust me, that's not what we are doing. Almost all of your videos talk about things I wanted to talk to someone who'll listen or to just scream at the face of the world. But they'll end up being conversations in my brain. It is fine but still, seeing someone talking the same eases my mind.
I have the EXACT same issue. Want to learn it all and commit deeply. I have autistic traits, adhd and potentially bipolar. Wanting big things, diving in deep, getting in over your head, and getting frustrated by the constant struggle and getting burnt out. I've worked with a therapist to better manage those moments. But you're inspiring me to dive deep again and schedule my day a little less rigorously. It's been really fun!
Thank you for being you and making this video. You remind me of myself before I got so bogged down with people telling me who I ‘need’ to be in order to be loved and accepted. I was recently diagnosed adhd at age 48, and I have been trying so hard to find my confidence again after this diagnosis. I thought I could organize my way out of it, and get good at all the things I’ve been neglecting, and fix it. I have been stuck in a death roll and beating myself up for being bad at being consistent. Parenthood and adulthood call for organization and consistency and I’m just not good at either of those things. I don’t know how to find the passion in housework, cooking dinners every night, budgeting, and planning all those things that I don’t even want to do. By the time I’m done beating myself through that, I have no energy left for joy. I can see now that I can give myself permission to look at this whole thing differently. Thank you.
I recently discovered at age 58 that I have (as you say) a Type 2 Brain. You are addressing so many things I have thought about and figured out over the years. Specifically, I've been wanting skills for Me, for My brain, for My strengths - not to be given again and again the advice that works for more commonly functioning brains. I have been looking for people who are about finding, validating, and strengthening ways and ideas that work for my brain, that legitimize and empower my less usual and very brain-stormingly useful differences. You are definitely doing this and I appreciate you bringing your insights to a public forum for all to benefit from. Thank you.
Absolutely LOVEEEE this video! My favorite part was the most "Elizabeth" part! I hope nobody skipped it b/c it is pure gold! I've been working to detach my identity from my employment/student status or lack thereof, and more on the person I want to become!
Your videos keep getting better and better! It's crazy how you made a video on a topic that I'm exactly going through right now. You are one of my favourite RUclipsrs!
Mapping tasks to value enrichment vs tangible external benefit is a game changer for sparking and maintaining motivation. I'm really excited to map this out for the backlog of things I keep avoiding! Great video, thank you for sharing your process.
Literally everything you said I identify with, the massive bouts of passion then the break, the whole thought process, everything. It's awesome, finally feel like a productivity RUclipsrs understand the more neurotic of us. Also your advice for motivation was so helpful, focusing on skills is exactly the thing that motivates me more.
This video sold me. I've subscribed. Your unique understanding of your brain and what motivates and pushes you is beyond any self-help book or guru i've come across yet - and it makes so much sense! This is a far better way of looking at intrinsic motivation and staying on track and I love your ability to say f* that to what's conventional and what 'should' work because it clearly doesn't for brains like ours! LOVE IT!!
This is exactly what I need to see right now thank you !!! I’ve been considering quitting my job even though deep down I know it would do more harm than good right now. This has really helped me to reframe my situation. You have such a fresh perspective that is genuinely helpful ♥️
I think this is one of the best self help videos ever made on youtube. Pls never quit youtube. Your passion is contagious, your mind is beautiful. ❤️ sending much love
You're such an amazing person. I really enjoy watching your videos and listening to your thoughts, most of them are super relevant for my own journey and it's very helpful. Wish you a lot of motivation to keep going and sharing your ideas with the world. 💙
I'm so grateful to have found your channel! I resonate a lot with your way of thinking and operating. Every time you talk about your insights or about how you cope with certain obstacles, it makes me feel seen and at the same time it provides a new perspective on how I can cope with the obstacles I'm facing myself. tysm :)
This is such a liberating perspective to have when it comes to learning, no more being a slave to expected outcomes will make learning SO much more enjoyable
This contradicts everything I've ever been told my entire life and I wish I'd gotten this advice 20 years ago. Everyone always says "keep your future in mind! do good in school so you can do good in life!" meanwhile every class I ever did really well in, it was a skill I personally wanted, not a good grade I needed to get. Even now, I do SO much better at work when I'm learning new software, learning new principles, etc. that I know I want. And when the work should be "easy" and I'm not learning anything new, my motivation goes down the toilet. This is brilliant stuff.
It's different with me, I have the feeling that nothing is for me. I never found myself in anything, I enrolled in college and failed several subjects because I didn't have the will to study, now I sit and think why I enrolled in it at all and everything I start to do ends up like that
Keep looking. Also, find a good therapist (because bad ones suck and can make things worse). There are ADHD centered therapists and life coaches that can help. Or maybe your thing is just become a Buddhist and "just be"? Nothing wrong with that :)
Seeing your human design chart may help as well as addressing your life holistically. I didn't really settle into anything till my 30s and I think it's common for many people.
Hey Elizabeth! This channel is wonderful. I align 1:1 with everything you talk about. Just wondering, how have you managed to un-jumble your thoughts with such clarity?
This is a wonderful approach and as PhD student and teacher, I've read and watched so much productivity and motivation content. I really think you've brought something original and it resonated with me. There's a book and a program in this for sure!!
Perhaps ...I'm thinking...that you can leave medical school...f*ck being a doctor...and start your own personal development school for young people. This should be taught to kids and adults everywhere. Love the way you have broken it down. This really explains how "life is about the journey, not the destination."
Elizabeth's problem is that she seems to give up after sometime, it's not like she's lazy. She puts in the work, until one day suddenly interest is gone. This is my case also with adhd. She might like the idea of the school before hating it.
100% agree. For me, motivation is always something to disregard, bc in the end it's fueled by EGO. Meaning that it's all about external things, which never truly satisfy us. Personally I need to find my internal WHY I want to do a task, forgetting those external goals and laurels
Such a good insight, thanks Elizabeth. I have found myself struggling to finish things throughout my whole life as well and, indeed, with age you just realize that intentionality has a lot to do in this.
When I started to see her videos pop up on my feed I 100% thought it was an ADHD focused channel, I don't know if she talked about it before but damn, if she never explored it she might want to (I say this while 100% refusing to diagnose someone on the internet, but well, you know)
I absolutely love your third point. When I realized that this was MY life, and that life was about multiple things and not just me obsessing over those things, it was such a great change. Your channel helps so much
i once joined organizations because i wanted to improve my skills (communication, planning & executing a project, etc), but then with time i realized the jobs i was given weren't things i wanted to do, yet i was too anxious to ask for a bigger responsibility. i also didn't like the culture there because at times the members become judgmental & sometimes i see seniority when others don't. i ended up quitting because all these things erases all the motivations i had, yet i stil question myself was it really them or was it just my anxiety? but honestly even if its on me, i dont regret it. if anything it pushed me to learn & try other things that's more suitable for myself. this question still lingers though, how are we supposed to balance the goals we have and the responsibility you have for the team (the team's goals)?
You are the first person in the whole world who has put the hell I've been going through with academia into actual words and come up with a genuine solution. Holy fuck. You have changed my life.
jokes on you, as long as we’re small youtubers we won’t score high on neuroticism, introversion, sitting inside all day and obsession, right? that’s how the equation goes, right??? :(
Please never leave! Take a break but always come back! I love how you can deconstruct your behavior patterns and find ways to improve them! I think this is needed every time something significantly changes in our life. Old routines don't always work with new places or people or goals.
YOU GET IT!!!!! for people who're intrinsically motivated, the work itself needs to be the reward and whatever the result might be is of no consequence, if i don't care about the work i won't (honestly, can't) do it.
I actually really loved the video and I think it even helped me finding sense in my life somehow. Changing jobs a lot and getting lost, what you say helps finding a silver lining, thank you for that
Don’t get me wrong, the video is very interesting so far, but I had to check if the speed wasn’t set on 1.5. Well, it wasn’t. Girl why do you speak so fast ? It’s hard to process what you’re saying at that pace
I feel so represented with your thought process and i love your approach. I always get stucked inside my mind and quit when trying to learn something, cause i really feel like i have to demandingly do it well almost like magically and obviusly not being able to do like it looked in my mind. I'll try your way. Thanks you btw.
This understanding of your lack of motivation and the awareness needed to analyze it, determine the root cause, come up with an articulable solution, and form a process designed to allow yourself to almost entirely view a task or project from another perspective which truly motivates you is astounding. Everyone should take advantage of purchasing your Notion template.
Wow this video might honestly change my life. I’m a very hardworking and motivated individual if I reeeaally want to do something but lately I’ve been struggling a lot with that and just wanting to quit everything. This is such a nice perspective to look at your tasks. I actually have to write an essay right now and your method totally works. I think I’m finally going to get it done now. Thank you so much Elizabeth 😊
I like your system of thinking about motivation. I have not broken down my steps into this much detail as you have, but watching your video I do unconsciously think about what skills I could learn from the role/position/academic and that definitely helps me with motivation
Your content is really helpful. I banged my head against the wall for so long, wondering why things that worked for others, didn't work for me. Somewhat recently, I realized what following my passion was imperative for success. Now I am struggling less and getting more done. Last week I found your channel, and it is just adding more tools to my toolbox. I am so glad you figured all this out at such a young age. Thank you for sharing what works for you!
Omg you can’t imagine how knowing there are people like who are making it while doing things their own way, is making me happy :) thanks for the great content
Within the first 4 minutes you got really the point, straight and clear. Motivation for skill vs product is something I never thought of, but as a person with your same issues I immediately found out that it fits in my life. When I look at what I kept doing vs what I did quit, THIS is the major difference. Awesome content, thanks!
it's amazing how great of a problem-solver you are. i could not come up with these solutions when I was struggling with the same issues. this is mind-blowing. thank you.
I've been kind of a mess about where I'm going in life lately, and this feels like a lot of very helpful advice! In particular, I think the bit about strategic detachment is a very useful perspective shift for me!
I align with this so much. My intrinsic motivation is also so much stronger than my extrinsic. I also game tasks based on my skills and interests development. I've gone from Psychology to Medical Science to illustration to performance and now Arts strategy. Ive always thought it was a AuDHD thing
The good thing about this video is that it provides really practical frameworks. I've watched several videos on this topic and I can say this is the one that has provided me actionable ways to source motivation. Thank you.
During my life I've been told to embrace my ADHD brain, but at the same time every cooping strategy out there just seemed about reaching the same results non-adhd brains can reach. I've been struggling to deal with "failure" and my life just being a general mess for the longest time. However I recently stumbled upon your channel and it has been helping me develop a more nuanced way of thinking about my brain and the way it works. It is not that I don't struggle anymore, there is just less self blame as I start to see that I am just me and I am allowed to be here too. Anyways I wanted to thank you for making the great video's that you make, but I got a bit side tracked in this comment i think. I hope you have a wonderfull day and thank you very much for improving my life.
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I have ADHD, so starting and quitting things is very common for me. But recently I realized that I'm coming back to the same things even if years have passed. So I don't see it as quitting anymore, I'm just taking a break for a while.
I feel your pain. Society sort of blames you for being who you are too. "No consistency", "no motivation"...they really only want worker ants nowadays.
Yes yes yes! 😍
yes yes yes yessss ADHD rep!
This has happened to me over and over again - I “quit” something for a while, and a year or few later it’s back, often in a new format, with renewed energy and depth of understanding. Life operates in spirals - be inspired!
I can totally relate to this!
”It’s not always that we need to do more but rather that we need to focus on less.” - Nathan W. Morris
A sushi chef spends the first two years of education perfecting how to cook rice.
Hey can anyone help me please.
Look I was a very hardworking and motivated child but when I was about 15 years old I started noticing that i have lost all motivation to study I wanted tasks to be completed quickly and starting having poor time management. Now I'm 20 years old and still still being going on my grades have dropped from 90 to 70..i am getting depressed day by day and thinking I'm not hardworking enough for my medical dream. What is wrong with me?? (Also I don't have any social media accounts for distraction)
@@pepper2240 I'm not sure what's going on but I reccomend watching Justin sung for study tips
@@pepper2240 How much time are you spending on studies? Maybe you're just bad at it. Using the wrong methods. Need help. Etc. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Your subconscious might find love & the biological imperative more important than what you're trying to focus on. You need to balance and prioritize. Perhaps you have unmet social needs. Another possibility is you're distracted because you're bored (leads to multitasking and procrastination.) Maybe some study partners can help with that. Your mind will tend toward the easiest and least boring option.
@@pepper2240 you might be getting clinically depressed, please go see a psychiatrist if you're able to. Also, as another person pointed out, you might be feeling a need of fulfillment in other areas of your life. Try to investigate that, either with a therapist or alone. Being hardworking and productive is not all there is to being human - if you have always prioritized studies in your life, the parts that are lacking might be getting more evident now. Wish you the best!
I can absolutely back you that neuroticism, obsession, introversion and sitting inside all day are 100% key 🔑 to my YT success 🥰☺️😂🙈
omg I love you!!
Where are youuuuu come back we miss you 😢💖
same here! 🙈✨
Thanks, that was encouraging!
Being diagnosed with adhd, I'm finally realizing I'm not lazy and there are people like me. I have a million different interests and never finish anything. Your videos made me feel much much better. Thank you!
Laughcrying to this comment. So well put!
This comment makes me think I may be undiagnosed, but as long as I am aware of it and can accommodate my learning style I think I'll be ok
me right now
dkfjahadfh
so true im exactly the same 🙈
I specially relate to your third point. The old me, on the path of becoming a doctor, would freak out at every challenge that may threaten my success, because failing means a huge chunk of me being taken away and a loss of identity. The current me holds onto principles that form my identity. Being a doctor is now just a way, out of many, to fulfil these principles. Not only that made me feel like a burden being lifted off my shoulder, but also helped managing the anxiety of failure that causes procrastination.
Omg, this reminds me so much of the book in reading right now: Mindset by Carol S. Dweck. She talks about "fixed mindset" versus "growth mindset."
She explains that people with a "fixed mindset" (probably all of us to some degree tbh) see failure as a threat to their identity (ie. I failed one test in fourth grade so I can't possibly be a smart person). Therefore, opportunities for failure (aka Challenges) must be avoided at all costs.
You literally make me feel so seen and so not alone.. When you explain your thought processes behind why and how you think about certain things or how your mind works, it's literally like listening to everything I advocate for for myself, and no one believes me or cares to listen or understand and that leads me to gaslight and hate myself. I'm so glad I found your channel, your content is really helping me.
Love your lip shade! What lipstick are you wearing?
You're definitely not alone because she makes me feel seen as well, and now you're making me feel seen about feeling seen. Everyone is seeing everyone tonight
Same, Maham same😀
SAME
Omg SSAAAMMMEEE
Wow I’ve never heard of someone experiencing the EXACT same thing I have! Society has glamorized quitting but that’s not always the best option. Understanding this third option sounds like the perfect middle ground so thank you!
There are still not many useful tips out there for people with adhd
@@realglutenfree ADHD and autism tbh
You’re the first person who I’ve seen also express “I want to do everything” fully and literally. Have felt it my whole life and have never known where to put the feeling. The strategic detachment is so important because I do often feel trapped or like I’m narrowing down my potential when I choose one option over another eg. My degree in x vs y which I still love
I feel the same. Lately I'm just doing as many things at the same time as possible and setting my bar higher to be at least decent at them. Which means I can't excel even though I could in an ideal world where I could focus. But even though it's stressful, at least I don't feel I would've missed on some of my potential when I'm too old.
Gosh, now this is some real knowledge about productivity that is not toxic!
8:32 "I know it sounds quite selfish and self-focused, but it really really helps in fueling motivation for things that I would otherwise be completely unable to find"
The thing is, that's human. Every one of us is human, and we innately don't want to do anything that doesn't benefit us, so we really *do* have to *use* our selfish desires to our advantage in order to get things done a lot of the time.
Indeed. And since she mentioned things like improving communication and becoming a better person as skills she wans to improve, it's pretty much the opposite of selfish.
"I am never on the path of any task that I need to do - I am on my path and my skills path." THIS.
I will admit, I love quitting things. The relief of not doing something I didn't want to do/that was hard, is very strong in me. This feels like such a successful way of coming at things, removing the risk/reward stuff that - you're right - doesn't motivate me and instead thinking about the skills I want...yes.
how can you push out these profound topics so quickly elizabeth? 🤯 you’re just amazing!!
Yes she is!
I believe a portion of the ability she derives as a content creator actually stems back to what she's talking about here and how to use the core values you fundamentally have time and energy for to frame your work. In doing this she had devoted significant time, effort and energy in order to improve her ability to create these video essays within a reasonable time duration. Because she values the skills that are involved in the process and can explicitly lay out the path to improve on what she values, it leads to eventually reaching this level of competence in a task that requires a combination of several different skills.
AH THANK YOU 😭❤️
@@elizabethfilips Liz is such a Scholar! Yes You are!
As someone who has ADHD plus many comments on many of her videos, I think it's highly likely Elizabeth has ADHD. Many of us with it have an absolutely insatiable thirst for knowledge. We are often not just intensely curious but also incredible problem solvers and creative thinkers. What she's done is analyze how she best works and come up with a solution for how to utilize her personal strengths (knowledge devouring, processing, connecting, applying) in order to achieve her goals. Many people with ADHD find that their brains essentially never turn off. Her brain is probably running as fast as she's speaking, or maybe faster. As someone extremely interested in similar fields as Elizabeth, I find that I consume content that is knowledge enhancing a LOT of hours of my day. While my co-workers are listening to music while they work, I'm listening to a PBS special about the latest findings in Cosmology (the origin of the universe). When I'm not consuming that type of material, I am often thinking about the things I've recently watched or listened to and asking questions about it or wondering how this new information connects to the rest of what I know. Essentially, if she does have ADHD, she has a brain running much much faster than the average person's and she's also learned to work with it. Between the two, she'll never run out of content 😊
A useful caveat for anyone who feels like this is excessive theorising for motivation, a lot of what is described may start off formal (listing skills, understanding your strategy etc.) but with practise and trust you can internalise a lot of it and it becomes second nature, like riding a bike!
100%
I've never had the mentality of wanting to objectively quit something. I might have stopped doing it for a long period of time but I've never thought "yeah I'm never doing this again it's too hard" etc. It will always still subconsciously be at the back of mind to come back to at some point if I choose to do so.
Same here. Everything I start, no matter how long I stay away from that thing, I always want to return back to doing it. However, what ends up happening is that those things just haunt me, as I want to get back into them as soon as possible, but I just don't. Then I start feeling like maybe I'm just don't want it bad enough or something along those lines.
Man, I don't even know. It's hard trying to address this stuff, and at the same time, it's hard to just leave everything and let it go up in smoke.
@@oceeta I've spent a lot of time guilting myself over even the things I do in private inconsistently because that's what other people do and I guess I internalized it. Kinda funny how people guilting me for not doing something consistently means there's much bigger gaps between when I stop and start again.
I just discovered your channel, and it could be titled how to survive ADHD. I just got my second diagnosis in my mid thirties and this time, being an adult, I can make decisions with regards to my treatment. Watching your videos, especially the one about the chaotic mindset, really helped me better organize. You truly deserve all the thanks, all the sponsors, all the likes and all the clicks 🙏
My Takeaway from This Video (For myself, and hopefully for others that this interpretation helps)
MAIN: The focus of this video seems to me to be the skills that are needed to perform certain tasks, and trying to resolve those skills with the values that we hold. Keep this in mind as you go through each point of the video.
1) Object of My Desire.
This approach to motivating oneself requires the person to do three things:
a) Completely diregard any sort of object results that come with the completion of a task. These object results are both things that the person cares and doesn't care for. For example, these could be grades, money, fame, respect, etc.
b) Highlight all the skills that are needed to complete this task, no matter how little those skills seem to contribute to the task's completion.
c) Cross-reference those skills highlighted within the task at hand, and the skills that are tied with one's values. For example, if you would like to be a better communicator (value), and the task at hand requires some level of competency at communication (skill), that is a great motivator, as you then realize that the task which you want to perform is actually a vehicle that you can use to develop the skill of being a better communicator.
NOTE: The key thing to realize here is that the values which you hold are more often than not, tied to the skills that you need to develop to uphold those values. Those skills in turn can also be found in the task that you want to perform.
2) Meeting Your Heroes.
This approach to continued motivation is based on progress at the task at hand. Progress is a very powerful motivator, as we are likely to stick with something when we see that we are competent at, or at least getting better at it. The approach of meeting one's heroes is a way to find people that are very good at the thing that you want to do, and make a breakdown of exactly what skills they have that move the needle of progress on that task.
NOTE: Even if the skills they might have are not exactly what you are interested in developing, you can still mix them in with skills that you do enjoy developing. The essence of this approach is to focus the majority of your efforts on actually doing things that improve your competency, which will in turn, increase your motivation to perform the task.
3) Back on Track.
This approach is used to maintain motivation when you feel that you are trapped in doing a thing that you perhaps started out enjoying, but over time, your interest declined for said thing. This is a perspective shift that allows you to see all the things that you're doing/want to do for what they really are (vehicles to develop the skills needed to uphold your values). Basically, you are not on the path to doing/becoming anything. You are on the path to being yourself, and the things that you do are things that help you uphold the values you keep. You are never trapped, and everything that you do is for you, your future, and your skills.
4) Sixth Sense (Instinct Building).
Finally, this approach to having sustained motivation over the long term is one that focuses on intentionally developing a "sixth sense" for the task that you are performing. This is acheived by creating feedback loops for every single skill that the task requires, as well as constant changes being made off of the feedback gotten.
These are my key takeaways from the video. They are mostly for me, but I do hope this helped someone better understand the things being hinted at here by Elizabeth. The video is chock full of valuable information, and I've already watched it at least 5 times, and I find a new thing every time! Arguably one of the best videos I've ever seen on this platform, and the channel itself has been such a breath of fresh air for people like me that feel that there must be something fundamentally wrong with them when they don't want to do things/feel bad that they aren't performing well at the things that they are doing. Cheers!
I liked the way you summarized it. After watching the video I'm still confused about the last part about instinct building, I'm not sure what Elizabeth means when creating feedback loops and what instinct am I building by doing this and how does that help me to reframe failures?
I appreciate so much how you've summarized and organized this. Thank you
@@shdowdragon3 So, when I initially got this notification, I wasn't really sure how to respond. Now, I feel like I do. Feedback loops are essentially created when you have a way of testing yourself at a skill you want to become better at. You test yourself, and based on the test results, change your approach to gaining said skill. To answer your next question, it just helps to reframe failures as learning opportunities. Those failures will be used to learn lessons in the future that are then stored away in your long-term memory. Those memories in turn influence your future decisions and thus, build up an instinctual understanding of a skill/concept over time.
I hope that clarifies things a bit for you. I'm so sorry it took me 5 months to reply you.
@@xMagnificentMandy Thank you for reading through. I'm happy you were able to find help in these writings.
I have only met one person on my life who had the same desire to learn EVERYTHING and gotten zero understanding for why I start AND quit so so many things all the time. I've also been so frustrated by that behaviour myself. So so good to see I am not alone and there's a way to handle it better. I watched this video immediately after "You're not lazy" and I'll probably watch more of your videos, well, probably right now. 5 am. Why not. Thank you.
Please don't quit RUclips, I just found you and what you create here is much more original than the endlessly repeated well-used information I see in a lot of self-help books & videos... You're impressive. And this video ( specifically the part about skills vs path ) made me realize that this is precisely what I've been doing but without any formal definition ( and not systematically ). This video is gonna help SO MANY people! I've already sent it to two of my friends. And I will incorporate it into my Obsidian self-help vault.
I found your channel this week and you're opening my eyes on many things, since I have more or less the same capability of doing almost impossible things when I really want it, but routines and repetitive things are the best way to let me abandon lots of projects. Thank you again for your suggestions, you're a real inspiration!
Thank youuu ❤️
The way Ive managed to stick to habits and not quit - overhauling how I approach taking care of my brain (exercise, journaling, studying etc) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my journaling habit - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on YT. After a really bad depression phase I started to believe I couldn’t change and I’d feel that horrible forever.
Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up.
That's a super smart idea omg :o I might try the same, I tend to do the same and I think it'd be helpful (and also I'd be off my phone if I recorded it)
This!!! I’ve been doing this with working out. I hate it & I was quitting after a few days. I decided to exercise for 10 min, then 15 & run for 5min, then 10 etc I can see amazing results as I work out 2 x a day now and I start to like it because I can actually see the results. I was going too hard in the past too
i relate to u so badly on that last line im so hard on myself i go 110% one day or 2 and then it comes down im def trying smol efforts now:) the thing is i wanna be able to reach my full potential but i just cant seem to ik i can do better than this but idk i think situaions have changed than earlier so ive to accept the changes and just try being consistent daily ...
@@samriddhidubey9759 The smol consistent efforts really do build up. One day you check in and realize you’ve made so much progress. But it takes time and doing it this way ensures long term change. It’s a daily battle though because its like my brain was programmed to recognize a hard core effort but that method just doesn’t work for me and thats ok.
@@samriddhidubey9759 Im the same: going extremely hard on myself. I was making huge plans every day and ended up with doing almost nothing. I've been suffering from depression for years, so this made me feel worse even more. But this year I'm on a serious healing journey and I came to the point when I'm tire of quitting. I sat with myself and asked: is it better if I run 1km every day or learn Italian for 15min than do it for a week and quit? I started with extremely small habits like: wake up & immediately drink apple vinegar; then I added read for 15 min etc... and was practising it every day for a week or so before I added another habit I wanted to cultivate. Now, I dont have to think about them as I do them automatically. The same with running: I started with not even 1km, then 1.2km, 1.5km and so on....very very slowly. Now I'm on almost 4km, but i dont pay attention to the distance (one day I can run 3km, the next 2.5km). I just want my body/ brain to understand that the quitting is over and we'll do it slowly.
I also want to reach my full potential, but I understood that it's better to start with small steps and be proud of myself because I actually did it, thn cry every day because I wasted another day.
Start slowly and you will see the results much faster than you think :)
Today is my birthday and I consider this video one of my top gifts. Thank you so much for your insight, quitting/abandoning projects has been one of my main concerns since...well, since childhood. Your explanations are conceptual enough to apply them to various different projects/tasks, yet perfectly comprehensible as well as approachable. Again, thanks for this vid, much appreciated!
Ahhh happy birthday!!!!
The way you approach to solve problems in your life is just amazing! I wanted to become a physicist at 17 as well, I didn't went to CERN (jealous btw), but I finally graduated from physics at age 27. Finding motivation, gathering back the motivation is extremely hard, and I gave up so many times. But, solved them with a little bit similar ways. I am learning so much from you, and hope that I can apply those at my master's studies! thank you for sharing your ideas and advices!
You need to put this in a book you’re amazing
Elizabeth, I find all your videos very useful but this one is something that addresses an immediate issue that I'm dealing with. Thank you for giving me some fantastic ideas on how to work through a quitting temptation I'm managing.
Ahhh glad you liked it, good luck!!
@@elizabethfilips can you do a q and a where you answer people's problem in their studying/lifestyle schedule.. Please🙏
I’m quite literally in shock at how intensely all of this spoke to me. I’ve been in the middle of absolutely loosing my shit 24/7 for all of these exact reasons for most of my waking life and I think I’m probably going to have to rewatch this a couple dozen times and actually implement this into my life so I don’t pass up some of the best content on the internet, subjectively of course. I would imagine that it must be difficult to realize the beauty that you’ve blossomed into this universe by uploading this video, thank you for the advise :)
Your videos are a HUGE help! I've always been an overachiever, but I was never one for discipline (I did manage to be for 2 years but then burned out) and I feel like you're the only productivity youtuber that gets my brain.
The one you said "might not be relevant so you can skip" was the one is needed the most. Thank you ❤️
Thanks for being one of the only productivity youtubers that's reasonable and not toxic!
I am less than 6 minutes into the video and my hearth is pumping like I just discovered the holy grail. I have never seen so much value delivered so quickly directly to my hearth...
This is actually genius. I have to learn dancing for my dream job but I am not naturally good at it and was talken down by teachers a lot so I always struggled to really commit to getting better even though I would love to be a good dancer. And this thing of "you have to do this" soon became overwhelming to me and I break out in tears every time I again just don't get it right. But this technique really helps to take the pressure away and focus on the steps of the road more than the greater goal, so I can enjoy the process more. I will try it! Thank you very much for the tipp!
my.. the tracks part 13:58 is like spiritual teaching, but CLEARLY STATED. i'm so happy to have finnaly found intelligence on the internet. thank you for this video with very effective communication with the flow of informations in your speech and these helpfull sketches.
I found your channel in my recommendations, and last week I literally had to (I had to) binge watch all your videos to, in a sense detox myself from the unhealthy productivity culture that I have grown up in. Yesterday, I finished binge listening to all your podcasts. And I absolutely LOVE the part where you talk about “Honey, what would make this better for you”. It’s so thought provoking and inspiring! Keep making more content plz. I love these so so much.
I've been bingeing your videos. There's no other productive RUclips channel that has made me feel more seen. I was making notes about finding 'intrinsic motivation' as opposed to focusing on object results from the previous videos and saw that you've made a notion page for it! Couldn't have bought it quicker!!! It's gonna be so helpful. Thank you so much.
Can I just say, I LOVE your visual representations of thoughts, ideas and concepts. They are so helpful with better absorbing complex abstract information and I honestly feel that your videos give me so much more real understanding than videos that may present similar ideas, but with only B-Roll slapped over it - I absorb so much less of the nuances of the idea then. Your visuals really derive home the details that are so vital. The fact that being a good communicator is important to you makes your videos really amazing (and you’re SMASHING that goal btw).
This is honestly one of if not the most helpful video I have foundon youtube. I have ADHD so it's hard to focus on stuff regardless of if I like it or not. My ADHD has made me question whether or not I like the things that I have liked for so long. This video recontextualizes my experience in a way that I can comprehend and easily implement. Amazing stuff! Keep it up!!!
This is huge. Thank you. I've been struggling with enjoying the means vs. the ends forever: finding that as soon as there is an end I'm aiming towards, I lose my intrinsic motivation in something that otherwise I would love to do. Your skills approach sounds really promising. Thanks so much for a) coming up with this and b) sharing it so clearly
Reframing the task by focusing on your values to fuel your motivation. Genius.
Dear Elizabeth,
I've recently discovered your channel and I am so grateful for your videos.
Until now I've been trying and failing to live like most people do. The more I failed, the more I realized that I seem to be different. Eventually I started to wonder if it was even possible for me to live like an ordinary person. I did realize that I had to embrace my not so typical brain, but was scared if I'd be able to find my way. Your channel gave me courage. The way you do things your way and seeing where it got you is inspiring. Most people seem to want to become different or better, but I feel like your goal is to become the truest form of yourself. You gave me the courage and methods to try being my authentic self.
Thank you so much ❤
(Also if you ever decided to write a book: I would definitely buy it)
I figured out earlier this year that I need to focus on skills and not object tasks, but I've yet to implement a way to keep track. It's so easy to fall into unhelpul thinking patterns... But I'm getting plenty of good and useful ideas from your videos! Love how structured and clear you are.
This video is invaluable. I cannot even explain how silly I felt that I wanted to do so much and the anxiety I felt when I realized I couldn't. I consistently "ran out of motivation" for things I was so fired up about. It's nice to feel understood and less alone. Thank you so much for this!
Thank God you decided to do youtube. This is exactly the way I function. The closest people in my life will never understand this way of functioning and thinking. They'll call you wishy-washy and fickle minded. I'm a fallback and catchup kind of girl, the chaotically organised type. It was fine and nobody cared when I was in school. But everything changed when I became an adult. Being chaotically organised is something people will never easily understand. And I can't blame them. It almost looks like you're playing with your options and choices in life. But trust me, that's not what we are doing. Almost all of your videos talk about things I wanted to talk to someone who'll listen or to just scream at the face of the world. But they'll end up being conversations in my brain. It is fine but still, seeing someone talking the same eases my mind.
I have the EXACT same issue. Want to learn it all and commit deeply. I have autistic traits, adhd and potentially bipolar. Wanting big things, diving in deep, getting in over your head, and getting frustrated by the constant struggle and getting burnt out. I've worked with a therapist to better manage those moments. But you're inspiring me to dive deep again and schedule my day a little less rigorously. It's been really fun!
Ok but the editing is on fire wow!!!
Thank you for being you and making this video. You remind me of myself before I got so bogged down with people telling me who I ‘need’ to be in order to be loved and accepted.
I was recently diagnosed adhd at age 48, and I have been trying so hard to find my confidence again after this diagnosis. I thought I could organize my way out of it, and get good at all the things I’ve been neglecting, and fix it.
I have been stuck in a death roll and beating myself up for being bad at being consistent. Parenthood and adulthood call for organization and consistency and I’m just not good at either of those things. I don’t know how to find the passion in housework, cooking dinners every night, budgeting, and planning all those things that I don’t even want to do. By the time I’m done beating myself through that, I have no energy left for joy.
I can see now that I can give myself permission to look at this whole thing differently. Thank you.
I recently discovered at age 58 that I have (as you say) a Type 2 Brain. You are addressing so many things I have thought about and figured out over the years. Specifically, I've been wanting skills for Me, for My brain, for My strengths - not to be given again and again the advice that works for more commonly functioning brains.
I have been looking for people who are about finding, validating, and strengthening ways and ideas that work for my brain, that legitimize and empower my less usual and very brain-stormingly useful differences. You are definitely doing this and I appreciate you bringing your insights to a public forum for all to benefit from. Thank you.
Absolutely LOVEEEE this video! My favorite part was the most "Elizabeth" part! I hope nobody skipped it b/c it is pure gold! I've been working to detach my identity from my employment/student status or lack thereof, and more on the person I want to become!
Elizabeth your mind is a copy-paste of mine - so helpful to actually see how things work for us - sending a lot of appreciation for your existence
Your videos keep getting better and better! It's crazy how you made a video on a topic that I'm exactly going through right now. You are one of my favourite RUclipsrs!
Mapping tasks to value enrichment vs tangible external benefit is a game changer for sparking and maintaining motivation. I'm really excited to map this out for the backlog of things I keep avoiding! Great video, thank you for sharing your process.
Literally everything you said I identify with, the massive bouts of passion then the break, the whole thought process, everything. It's awesome, finally feel like a productivity RUclipsrs understand the more neurotic of us. Also your advice for motivation was so helpful, focusing on skills is exactly the thing that motivates me more.
This video sold me. I've subscribed. Your unique understanding of your brain and what motivates and pushes you is beyond any self-help book or guru i've come across yet - and it makes so much sense! This is a far better way of looking at intrinsic motivation and staying on track and I love your ability to say f* that to what's conventional and what 'should' work because it clearly doesn't for brains like ours! LOVE IT!!
This is exactly what I need to see right now thank you !!! I’ve been considering quitting my job even though deep down I know it would do more harm than good right now. This has really helped me to reframe my situation. You have such a fresh perspective that is genuinely helpful ♥️
I think this is one of the best self help videos ever made on youtube. Pls never quit youtube. Your passion is contagious, your mind is beautiful. ❤️ sending much love
As someone who has many interests, this video is perfect. I quit learning fairly quickly and sabotage my own life lol
Me too girl 😭🖐🏼
Pleeeeease don't leave RUclips! I just discovered your videos and I've been watching through ALL of them. You're such a wonderful and helpful being!
You're such an amazing person. I really enjoy watching your videos and listening to your thoughts, most of them are super relevant for my own journey and it's very helpful.
Wish you a lot of motivation to keep going and sharing your ideas with the world. 💙
Ah thank you, and same to you Joyce! ❤️
You have articulated so well something I've been fumbling at for many years but hiding because it doesn't meet with people's expectations.
I'm so grateful to have found your channel! I resonate a lot with your way of thinking and operating. Every time you talk about your insights or about how you cope with certain obstacles, it makes me feel seen and at the same time it provides a new perspective on how I can cope with the obstacles I'm facing myself. tysm :)
Ahhh thank you Sophia ❤️
This is such a liberating perspective to have when it comes to learning, no more being a slave to expected outcomes will make learning SO much more enjoyable
This contradicts everything I've ever been told my entire life and I wish I'd gotten this advice 20 years ago. Everyone always says "keep your future in mind! do good in school so you can do good in life!" meanwhile every class I ever did really well in, it was a skill I personally wanted, not a good grade I needed to get. Even now, I do SO much better at work when I'm learning new software, learning new principles, etc. that I know I want. And when the work should be "easy" and I'm not learning anything new, my motivation goes down the toilet. This is brilliant stuff.
The best things in life are a continuum and never finished. Relationships, writing, music, health you name it. Do it all.
It's different with me, I have the feeling that nothing is for me. I never found myself in anything, I enrolled in college and failed several subjects because I didn't have the will to study, now I sit and think why I enrolled in it at all and everything I start to do ends up like that
Keep looking. Also, find a good therapist (because bad ones suck and can make things worse). There are ADHD centered therapists and life coaches that can help. Or maybe your thing is just become a Buddhist and "just be"? Nothing wrong with that :)
Seeing your human design chart may help as well as addressing your life holistically. I didn't really settle into anything till my 30s and I think it's common for many people.
“Prime my interest and curiosity.” That’s the right way to learn and teach people.
Hey Elizabeth! This channel is wonderful. I align 1:1 with everything you talk about.
Just wondering, how have you managed to un-jumble your thoughts with such clarity?
This is a wonderful approach and as PhD student and teacher, I've read and watched so much productivity and motivation content. I really think you've brought something original and it resonated with me. There's a book and a program in this for sure!!
Perhaps ...I'm thinking...that you can leave medical school...f*ck being a doctor...and start your own personal development school for young people. This should be taught to kids and adults everywhere. Love the way you have broken it down. This really explains how "life is about the journey, not the destination."
Elizabeth's problem is that she seems to give up after sometime, it's not like she's lazy. She puts in the work, until one day suddenly interest is gone. This is my case also with adhd. She might like the idea of the school before hating it.
I had so many realisations during watching that video. So many things make sense now. Very very helpful to me right now, thank you so much!!
100% agree. For me, motivation is always something to disregard, bc in the end it's fueled by EGO. Meaning that it's all about external things, which never truly satisfy us.
Personally I need to find my internal WHY I want to do a task, forgetting those external goals and laurels
Such a good insight, thanks Elizabeth. I have found myself struggling to finish things throughout my whole life as well and, indeed, with age you just realize that intentionality has a lot to do in this.
You strongly show up as someone with a lot of special interest like ADHDers like me do.
When I started to see her videos pop up on my feed I 100% thought it was an ADHD focused channel, I don't know if she talked about it before but damn, if she never explored it she might want to (I say this while 100% refusing to diagnose someone on the internet, but well, you know)
@@luciflemme I think she has a video on her ADHD or she mentions it, but if not then I def think she has it omg, I relate to her so much
@@Nanancay Which video? I never would've thought she'd talk about ADHD and she ignores people asking if she does.
I absolutely love your third point. When I realized that this was MY life, and that life was about multiple things and not just me obsessing over those things, it was such a great change. Your channel helps so much
i once joined organizations because i wanted to improve my skills (communication, planning & executing a project, etc), but then with time i realized the jobs i was given weren't things i wanted to do, yet i was too anxious to ask for a bigger responsibility. i also didn't like the culture there because at times the members become judgmental & sometimes i see seniority when others don't. i ended up quitting because all these things erases all the motivations i had, yet i stil question myself was it really them or was it just my anxiety? but honestly even if its on me, i dont regret it. if anything it pushed me to learn & try other things that's more suitable for myself.
this question still lingers though, how are we supposed to balance the goals we have and the responsibility you have for the team (the team's goals)?
You are the first person in the whole world who has put the hell I've been going through with academia into actual words and come up with a genuine solution. Holy fuck. You have changed my life.
jokes on you, as long as we’re small youtubers we won’t score high on neuroticism, introversion, sitting inside all day and obsession, right?
that’s how the equation goes, right??? :(
Please never leave! Take a break but always come back! I love how you can deconstruct your behavior patterns and find ways to improve them! I think this is needed every time something significantly changes in our life. Old routines don't always work with new places or people or goals.
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YOU GET IT!!!!! for people who're intrinsically motivated, the work itself needs to be the reward and whatever the result might be is of no consequence, if i don't care about the work i won't (honestly, can't) do it.
You went to CERN at 17? wow..... 👀👍
I had the BEST time
@@elizabethfilips was it a student program internship?
I actually really loved the video and I think it even helped me finding sense in my life somehow. Changing jobs a lot and getting lost, what you say helps finding a silver lining, thank you for that
Don’t get me wrong, the video is very interesting so far, but I had to check if the speed wasn’t set on 1.5. Well, it wasn’t. Girl why do you speak so fast ? It’s hard to process what you’re saying at that pace
I like this. Basically, you're asking yourself how this task relates to your overall goal of becoming a better person.
I feel so represented with your thought process and i love your approach. I always get stucked inside my mind and quit when trying to learn something, cause i really feel like i have to demandingly do it well almost like magically and obviusly not being able to do like it looked in my mind.
I'll try your way. Thanks you btw.
Such a wonderful way of looking at stuffs that we do. We are not walking on the work's path, we are walking on our own path.
This understanding of your lack of motivation and the awareness needed to analyze it, determine the root cause, come up with an articulable solution, and form a process designed to allow yourself to almost entirely view a task or project from another perspective which truly motivates you is astounding. Everyone should take advantage of purchasing your Notion template.
Wow this video might honestly change my life. I’m a very hardworking and motivated individual if I reeeaally want to do something but lately I’ve been struggling a lot with that and just wanting to quit everything. This is such a nice perspective to look at your tasks. I actually have to write an essay right now and your method totally works. I think I’m finally going to get it done now. Thank you so much Elizabeth 😊
I like your system of thinking about motivation. I have not broken down my steps into this much detail as you have, but watching your video I do unconsciously think about what skills I could learn from the role/position/academic and that definitely helps me with motivation
Your content is really helpful. I banged my head against the wall for so long, wondering why things that worked for others, didn't work for me. Somewhat recently, I realized what following my passion was imperative for success. Now I am struggling less and getting more done. Last week I found your channel, and it is just adding more tools to my toolbox. I am so glad you figured all this out at such a young age. Thank you for sharing what works for you!
Omg you can’t imagine how knowing there are people like who are making it while doing things their own way, is making me happy :) thanks for the great content
love the information density of your videos. thanks!
I love how you analyze linear logic spirally. You utilize how your brain works and it develops a unique perspective on the world.
Within the first 4 minutes you got really the point, straight and clear. Motivation for skill vs product is something I never thought of, but as a person with your same issues I immediately found out that it fits in my life. When I look at what I kept doing vs what I did quit, THIS is the major difference. Awesome content, thanks!
it's amazing how great of a problem-solver you are. i could not come up with these solutions when I was struggling with the same issues. this is mind-blowing. thank you.
God I wish I could go back about 15 years and show myself your videos. This would have gotten me through college.
I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE UNDERSTOOD - THANK YOU IM LITERALLY LAUGHING AT THE OFFICE
I've been kind of a mess about where I'm going in life lately, and this feels like a lot of very helpful advice! In particular, I think the bit about strategic detachment is a very useful perspective shift for me!
I align with this so much. My intrinsic motivation is also so much stronger than my extrinsic. I also game tasks based on my skills and interests development. I've gone from Psychology to Medical Science to illustration to performance and now Arts strategy. Ive always thought it was a AuDHD thing
OMFG you have just explained to me what I have unintentionally been doing at uni and then tried to find that spark again after. Thanks so much.
The good thing about this video is that it provides really practical frameworks. I've watched several videos on this topic and I can say this is the one that has provided me actionable ways to source motivation. Thank you.
During my life I've been told to embrace my ADHD brain, but at the same time every cooping strategy out there just seemed about reaching the same results non-adhd brains can reach.
I've been struggling to deal with "failure" and my life just being a general mess for the longest time. However I recently stumbled upon your channel and it has been helping me develop a more nuanced way of thinking about my brain and the way it works. It is not that I don't struggle anymore, there is just less self blame as I start to see that I am just me and I am allowed to be here too. Anyways I wanted to thank you for making the great video's that you make, but I got a bit side tracked in this comment i think. I hope you have a wonderfull day and thank you very much for improving my life.