Dating Apps Only Work for High-Status Men
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
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building an aesthetic physique is the single best thing you can do to get more matches, nothing else compares
Yes.
That’s a good start, but if you’re like me and have certain genetic traits that make you aesthetically a bit “freaky” looking, you will have no luck, no matter how much body building or fitness-ing you do.
Adonisssssssss
@@GOD999MODE no, just keep your face outside of the photos
Two cult leaders talking to each other
If you set your goals ridiculously high and it's a failure, you will fail above everyone else's success. -James Cameron
I recently started to attempt to get dates after a 4 year relationship. I slowly started to work on my game again. First I started smiling at people and holding eye contact to every person that I could. Then I started talking to retail workers (asking for opinions, asking how long they worked, etc). Now I am at the point where I do that with random girls. At the end, I always say “nice talking to you. Have a good day.” It’s time to add , “hey. It was nice talking to you. I would love to get to know you better. What’s your availability for next week?”
Keep moving forward!
@Daniel Malcolm the thing is , I went from retail workers to any person. Literally , just a random girl buying a product. I would tell her: “what do you think about that.” And I’ve been doing that for two weeks. This week I’m going to add the “what’s your availability next week”.
Your game is so wack. I hope everyone listens to you. If I wasn't married...
@@healthyandrew5294 unprovoked
Today I came across a book that was sold to millions of stupid people, and you know what? It promotes toxic femininity, it was written by an American author called Sherry Argov and the title is "Why Men Love Bitches" I was so fucking upset when I read it because it teaches women how to be entitled and manipulative.
Why be upset, that’s just life
Probably what women feel like when they read a bad pick up book lol
It's only going to get way worse than this, brace yourself.
Dont be upset, sloots are gonna sloot, boyo! Save up for Thailand or the Philippines instead. You don't want to live under a western massa.
Down the line you'll know what to look for...
As an older guy in this group (38), here is my view of dating in the 2000s vs 2010s/2020s.
2000s was definitely easier in that could go up to any girl and it was a viable way to get a date. Still, most girls in that time period met people through their social groups, not through cold approach game. Racially, things were far less open then too.
In the 2010s and after, online has taken over. And as Nikhil says, the visuals do seem to matter more. However, I still believe cold approach works and its incredibly powerful as it allows you to approach anyone of any type. Also, online dating just isn't going to work for everyone. As a shorter guy (5'7), it seems that no amount of self improvement is going to consistently get me into the top 10% of profiles viewed. A positive of this era is that girls are racially more open.
One thing I disagree with in this podcast is that there was no discussion of battling loneliness. Being top 10% online isn't going to save you from that. Since covid ended, there has been a renewed energy from people to get away from technology and just hang with people in person. You still have to hit the pavement and form real friendships or that loneliness bug will catch up to you.
Yes, cold approach still lifts you above all the 99.99% who can't do it-especially if you have good looks and charisma.
I love this comment
Love this podcast. Im 19, in college and I completely relate to this. Personally I deleted dating apps after a decent amount of success, I play the guitar and hit the gym and am pretty decent looking but I just realized dating apps were messing with my brain. I study in the local Starbucks where there are plenty of nice girls and I've had multiple interactions where a girl compliments my clothes to get me in the door. Otherwise I have approached a few and had great interactions overall and being able to do that shows such balls to a girl its pretty hard not to fail, especially if you maximize your life and have things and passions to discuss. Short convo and get a number, don't text until a few hours later and within the next day call (Not text) ask her and ask for lunch. That being said I still have tons of approach anxiety and whatnot I need to get over every time and am working in it.
My wife and I met each other on a dating app. I definitely do not meet the requirements of a "High status male" at least not based on what I saw here on RUclips. I am not a fit guy, I only made 25k a year at the time, I don't have those classic handsome features. I sent one stupid message to open the conversation and my wife thought it was funny and replied. Our hobbies didn't match at all, neither did our work life she is a musician and I am an engineer and educator. But we have the same core values, so it works.
When was this if you don’t mind me asking?
Because the algorithms keep getting better and better at filtering
@@Hazey69 4 year’s ago. I used the app as a way to connect with people. I never expected to find my wife there. It eventually worked for me after spending half a year on the app and a few bad dates, I eventually met my wife.
I can see how the High Value Male argument can apply. If you want to use the app as a tool to find multiple sexual partners.
@@educatingengineer2278 Tinder 4 years ago was a totally different beast
Being an engineer makes you pretty high status
First of all, yes, you're both above average men. Maybe this comment will help someone. An abundance mindset is great but messy when it comes to dating. It's easy to tell when someone sees you as disposable or when they're on the lookout for the next best thing (you can especially tell when everything that comes out of their mouth is generic), and it destroys any potential for dating. So while apps may work for high-status men, it does not work for women, just as you said. I notice a considerable increase in the level of effort from men I meet at the gym or bars or anywhere. When you meet a high-status individual in person, they don't see you as "a swipe." That's my theory.
man the timing for these podcast is actual insane. I'm trying to get into the dating scene because I wanna see what it's like to be in a relationship since I've never been in one before and I've been really looking at myself and seeing what I got going for myself and what I can definitely improve upon about myself, that's why I've been going to the gym cause I wanna build a nice physic and trying to build the courage to talk to the women I find attractive, but the one thing I really wanted to avoid was dating apps cause I know for a fact that I'm not gonna get anywhere with it cause I'm a 6 (8 if I dress really nice) in terms of attractivenss and I know I wouldn't fair well on apps like Tinder, so I've been thinking of ways how I can go about meeting more women without dating apps, especially since I'm not the sort of person to go to nightclubs or bars. I started out cold approaching some girls, and although I got rejected cause they had boyfriends, I start to learn more about myself and start to realize that rejection isn't all the bad, but I've been thinking about going to a club for a hobby I really enjoy and not only meeting more women, but more people in general that way, and I know I got a great personality so I would definitely like to believe I fair a good chance to get into a relationship with a great woman. Keep up the "killer" content my boy 🤜🤛
18:50 I heard someone else's take on this recently which I found interesting. They said attractive women don't care about your money because every guy they talk to has money. Same could be said about looks. Looks are never the determining factor as every guy they talk to has good looks. Everyone they talk to is good looking + has money so the determining factor becomes personality
That's so true!!!
popping in to comment that my husband has a dad bod & i’ve only gotten more attracted to him over the years! been together almost 12 years- the key is to find someone who has the same goals as you. different hobbies aren’t that big a deal but life goals & values need to be similar. keep up the good work- the podcast is great 👍 -your only(?) female viewer 😂
'Your only female viewer' 🤣🤣
You must be his #1 female fan
girl i feel u its hard being the only(?) female viewer 💀💀💀
Sure. "dadbod"
fellow female viewer…amusing we’re both named Jennifer :)
I met my girlfriend on Bumble. We've been together now for almost a year. No lie.
Love your guy’s energy together. Great episode as always.
Can I just say, I love that the background music ends with the intro.
So many podcasts keep in going and going. Thank you.
4:44
Thought there was a greater reason for these Sunday releases of the podcast. I do appreciate this as a prelude to the week. Like a pass down or meeting of the minds in this community’s war room.
Nice! Good to see y'all improved the look and lighting
I honestly still believe in the power of good old fashioned 'cold approach' - you don't have to do it creepily you can just do it in a friendly social manner - works really well after a good amount of practise to be honest
I think it is starting but in a few years women will be begging for catcalls and cold approaches.
In an online setting women still like attention but they are aware that guys might leave a 🔥 or 💦 on 100 attractive girls.
Approaching a partial girl in the real world shows much higher interest and courage.
The man is risking a public rejection.
Women will be begging for this in the future.
I'm a lady with severe anxiety with people approaching me.. (diagnosed) and I recommend men to not do this if a lady doesn't look at you at all or seems "scared" of you/people. I've learned that anxious girls attract some men and that's scary to me too. But ok.
I recommend you to ask us a normal question, not flirty but keep it as cool as possible so she stays calm with you. Just be friendly :) if she wants to talk she talks, if not she will not but don't throw yourself at her.
-- Do NOT use the cold approach eventhough it works at a lot of women, anxiety can make people flee the situation because of the feeling so youll get hurt while she doesnt intend to hurt you but might be afraid or shocked someone comes to her --
Your bit on loneliness, hit me from the core, as a young professional living in a large city on my own, this pandemic has definitely amplified the experience of being alone. I wonder if loneliness is the price we have to pay for choosing to live in a part of the world, where individualistic freedom and will, is prioritized above all. Would I trade my quality of living for a more communal society? I am not too sure, but it is a tough side effect for sure. When you spoke on loneliness, I can literally see it in your eyes, the mood shifted, you know what it means, I think a lot of us here do, and more so than anything, with dating even, it's so fucking true, everyone here has had sex, and once you've had it enough times, you realize it's not what truly makes men feel self -actualized, like you guys said, its friction at the end of the day lol. We as men need to reinvent ourselves in all angles, society has literally transformed more in the last 50 years, when it comes to gender dynamics, than probably the last few thousand years of human civilization, shit is nuts. Anyways, psyched for the next podcast. Stay hard.
From a woman’s perspective…I am enjoying this podcast! I do agree with what you said Nikhil @ 18:26. I think there is truth to that-that women may be subconsciously placing a higher standard on looks because of dating apps. I’ve never liked the idea of having to market myself and also what feels like “shopping for partners” on a dating app. I don’t want to have my perception of men distorted by dating apps, so I don’t use them.
it's good you quit before they had that effect on you, for me personally it's too late, I can't enjoy any interactions with men anymore because I am aware of how looks are the only things that matter now. I think dating apps had the same effect on men, they only use and lead on the women that aren't 10s or 9s for sex in my experience
I really enjoy listening to you guys talk about these topics. Dating apps are so difficult, I wish it were easier to meet people in person. From photos you can't tell personality/mannerisms/body language anything like that... and those things are a huge part of why I tend to find someone attractive.
Bold claim that it isn’t my mediocre looks, my mental instability and my non existing self esteem that keeps me single. Well I guess imma delete the apps and wait till them ladies ring me up 😅
I remember being 16 or so, had low self-esteem and all that. But then it just hit me in one particular moment I still vividly recall that I could easily max out the looks department by just getting in shape, making some other small alternations, etc. Even just losing a few 5 or so kilos led to a MARGINAL shift to the attention I was getting (obviously, it's significantly easier as a woman to get any sort of attention, and I was never particularly fat either in the first place). It's just saddening that looking back, the female friends I started going to the gym with... None of them stuck with it, and the majority (like 5/7) are obese and not dating... It's a tough shift to make for the average person, but it certainly speaks millions once you manage to get past it, no matter your gender.
Making a healthy life choice will always necessitate a sacrifice of being with unhealthy people. You won't go to the same places and do the same things.
I gave up weed last year and I don't drink nearly as much. Needless to say I don't hang out with a lot of the people I used to nearly as much.
However it also opens the door for healthy people to walk in. Sacrifice always leaves room for something to take it's place.
I'm fat and I used to do sports, stopped cuz of health issues and then got fat because of said health issues (I'm a woman btw). I did sports because I really enjoyed them (volleyball and aikijutsu), I tried to get back into exercising int he years that followed my weight gain as much as I physically could but the enjoyment wasn't there anymore and it felt like a chore so I couldn't stick with it. More recently I have been trying to date but it seems like all men want is skinny women and I know from experience that my body will never be able to look the way it did in highschool ( I have several conditions that are making losing any weight and keeping it off practically impossible - unsustainable) so I just gave up. Sadly even though I am an exception there are others like me out there. And even if I wasn't in this situation just knowing that all that matters to men is looks just makes me lose any motivation of even trying with them, I've reached a point where I cannot enjoy my interactions with men at all because I can so clearly see that looks are the only thing that matters and it's so fucking depressing that it makes me not even want to try anything anymore, not weight loss and certainly not to try to be picked by them.
I really enjoy this podcast. You guys make me feel young, the way you laugh and joke. There is a lot of seriousness these days, but you guys keep it fun. And the discussion topics are fire, of course
„Empty balls create safe halls“ hahaha love that line
You guys need a guest. Preferably someone to roast both of you.
Monday morning down here I’m New Zealand. BTK are the first videos RUclips recommends for the week. It knows. Let’s crush it this week guys!
This podcast is freaking incredible man. Don't stop doing it, we're thoroughly enjoying it.
This is another great BTK episode. Thank you guys for all you do.
Great discussion!
Been listening to these every Monday. It really gets my mind straight for the week. Keep it up!
great episode!
Goddamn, I was just thinking of you and wondering, if you will release another episode today. Crazy.
Lovin these podcasts man. Thanks for everything you do
To put it simply this was a perfect episode. All I can say is thank you 🙏🏽 keep sharing
+1 Positive comment, keep the podcasts coming, thanks a bunch yall.
Man, I have been watching your videos since you had 5k subscribers and I had this idea right from the beginning that this person knows about the GAME :D
Such a relatable podcast - great advice boys. Keep going and moving forward!
I’ve gone on multiple successful dates with a minimum wage job. Even then, I don’t mention anything work related on dating profiles, and do just fine. It’s probably just your appearance. 18-24 year olds don’t really care how much money you make, as most of them don’t make much themselves. This term “high value man” doesn’t really mean anything, either. At what point do you transition from low value to high value? When you make 51k instead of 50k?
True!
If you ever run into issues for the name "Becoming The Killer" or the more affectionate BTK, Thomas's "No Sympathy for Kings" is a great alternative!
Captain, I kid you not, m at the gym right now, and listening to your podcast on loop and yours only since the past 3 weeks
Excited to watch this
Always looking forward to going to college and putting on the podcast. Good shit guys
Didn't know you had a podcast. Loving this!
Just rename the podcast "Mad Cope" lmao. Love your work guys.
I totally agree, people whine too much about the state of the world. Whining doesn't make a difference to the world, it makes a loser out of you. Either you keep feeling sorry for yourself and losing in life or you accept reality no matter what and just keep going, keep playing the game, play to win.
Yes don't complain about the sistem, but shut up and live with it, instead of trying to change it
@@jebcar9618 Maybe I wasn't clear in my words.
WE CAN'T CHANGE THE SYSTEM.
@@Carl.Henriksson why? The system has literally changed multiple times in history
@@jebcar9618 Yes, sure, we can force the system to change, but there will always come new problems to replace the old problems with change so why even bother?
It used to be ideal to be fat back in the day. But that became a problem because obesity, for one thing, is unhealthy, and of course, not everyone wanted to be fat.
Now we have the ideals that we have today: Men outta have a strong physiqe and women outta be thick, if you will. Neither of these are unhealthy, unless you use steroids of course.
But like the old days, these standards have an effect on our mental health: We're insecure about not looking in a certain way. To that, I say either work out or whatever you gotta do to naturally get there, or simply learn one of the most important lessons in life: Stop caring what the 'system' or anyone else thinks of you, and just accepting yourself no matter what, instead of forcing the world to accept you.
What is the point of playing game rigged against you?
What you said about your strategy for photography specific dating apps sounds so interesting. From the lightning to the posing, scene selection, camera settings, wardrobe, acting, etc… Do you have a video that explains this?
Busy week made me forget this episode was coming …. But im still so happy now that its here … perfect way to end my week … thanks guys 💯🔥
38:47 "imitation is a form of flattery." Thomas adores Sinbad.
I look forward to this podcast every week!!!
Epic. Raw. Brilliant. Pure Value. Felling like i have got out of the matrix. Love it, thats a way to start the week, thanks!
GREAT PODCAST. Love you guys
I saw it in the notification and i am excited to start listening to this. Happy sunday chads!
I loved this, and I find your tips very useful even as a woman. Can't wait for the next episode!:)
This became my fav podcast in no time... Love it utmost!
Thank you so much for this podcast, it’s literally tailored to me and my current situation.
Love these discussions! Would love to call into the show and share some thoughts.
Good to see you watch Nikhil's channel too bro. I love your videos too. Come as a guest sometime on this podcast.
Another good one, great topic
Loving the Damaged Man podcast
watching BTK podcast has become my sunday ritual now !!
Really enjoyed this one. Keep up.
Dat intro lit! Lit!!! 🔥🔥🔥
Time always flys by when I listen to this podcast.
13:12 "I don't have any hobbies, I don't have any friends" same lol
24:50 same i get people nodding at me, 2 people have said i seem like im taller, and most people say i look like a different guy, asking "whats changed" building a bigger physique is a game changer for men out there
Dating apps are a sinkhole and I've deleted my profiles, a real waste of time!!! Go out into the wild and do things you love. Pay attention to who looks your way and just go up to that person and start a conversation 👍
I actually look forward to hearing about the channel's sponsors! Great podcast!!! Just a nod from another damaged man lol
Love the podcast bois
Would love to see one where you talk about creativity and its aspects
I am doing so much work thanks to this podcast. Let's obtain that long term bread, gentlemen!
I love this podcast, boys. so much fun. keep it up.
I kinda stopped dating bc of just burnout. Dating apps just fucked with my head and I needed to stop.
Getting into my work and developing a workout regimen has done wonders. While it doesn't solve my lonelieness issue, I'd rather be where I am now than doing algorithimic skirt chasing.
EDIT : just want to say I like the cut of your gib. The game is tough but we can become tougher.
Great cast dudes 👍
I Always look forward to your podcasts cuz usually i love the insights you both have✌️🤘
Loved this podcast, keep it up kings.
I completely agree with the last sentence of this podcast. The game has become much harder, but we should still play. We just have to get better. I've been taking my workouts more seriously lately to get to that body that I know is below this layer of fat. I also just recently started improv. I think it will be helpful with dating. And it's also really fun, so there's no downside. And all men need to keep in mind that most women are not on these apps. It's not easier for women to get dates on the apps just because men have lower standards. It's also because there are a lot more men there. But in the real world, it's quite close to 50/50. So if you as a man can become above average, you have a very good chance.
Do you or can you have a video series on how to take better photos? I struggle to take good photos of myself.
Great podcast! Just wondering why the recent videos have so little reach (views) ...
solid vid
finally on spotify, great news (perhaps I'm late but still audioformat is so much more convenient for me personally)
Manefesting getting Guinness with you lads in Dublin.
nice podcast.
im 40, divorced 2 years. it is definitely different from when i was 25 and you could get a number in a store. now they don’t even think you’re actually the person in your profile and they act like some serial killer is going to spend hours and hours messaging them because he really wants to specifically kill her over the millions of others out there.. it’s kinda narcissistic imo.
Any type of venue where you can practice public speaking-even something as seemingly corny as Toastmasters-is worthwhile, IMO.
Even though it hasn't yielded much in the way of practical results, the fact that I've been involved in public debates/forensics since junior high school has been incredibly valuable for me. The percentage of people who can speak extemporaneously on a given subject for any length of time is remarkably low.
First podcast I actually listened to and watched from start to finish while doing nothing else. Every time I feel like I'm drifting from my goals, this reminds me. Nikhil, Thomas you already know the vibes. Greatness is coming!!!
Got to get the game high now!
It is a great conversation every week
Those women who don’t settle down will pay for it from 43 and up. It’s a LONG ROAD from 43 to 80. No more free dates attention it’s comes to a gradual screeching hault mostly. Best of luck to you guys stay focused on your goals and trust the process. Abundance is 🔑 key. Social media has prolonged a lot of people’s adolescence and they will learn at 43 it’s not a dating app world. Reality comes soon enough.
I'm 30 and the only "Attention" I got in my 20s when I was dating was offers for sex, no intention of respect or interest in my person so yeah...no.
You're right, looks are as Thomas says, the "gatekeeper" to swiping right. Only one photo and no profile writeup is a guaranteed nope for me. We all have our personal preferences and can't take it to heart when we don't have that thing someone prefers. Ear gauges? Nope. Gym rat? Nope. Bald? Sorry, not my thing. But it is someone else's! It's a rare occasion when I swipe right. When I do, I genuinely hope that the guy is actually looking for the real deal, and that I might be more than just a conquest to him, and maybe am his person too. I'm looking for the real deal or nothing at all. I'm SO fucking tired of the bullshit that dating has become. I bet I'm not the only woman that's just over it but still has a profile out there just in case the real deal comes by. Dating and the stability of relationships took a huge shit with the onset of social media.
Glad to hear this from a female perspective! It's tedious, isn't it? Trouble for me is that whenever I'm really attracted to a match, they end up not responding after a few messages (because they have options, granted).
It's hard work and texting strangers takes effort.
This podcast is LITTT
I love this podcast so much :)
King👑
The thumbnail is giving Inspiring Coach in a Sports Movie Energy 🔥
A must watch show
My Sundays are great... BTK and AOT!!
What about premium subscriptions? Like tinder gold, plus, platinum. Does it have any significant affect on the algorithm in order to justify the price? or is it just a scam?
Yea the beauty standards for men these days are insane. Let’s keep it a buck
29:24 Tyler showed me looks don’t matter in night game, Thanks to him I had some success this context but I got out of shape. In the new era fitness matters, for online game but mainly for mobility and health.
Hi Captain! I'm here
What time do these come out? I wanted to listen to it after church (I did the past few weeks), but I couldn't this morning.
came out a little late today, but usually 9am CST
Love this podcast! So happy to see how far this channel has come!
But as a below average woman, I'm a 6 on my best day (who is OK with it) and who met my husband on a dating app...I can't help but wonder...could it be that the standards of beauty to which we females were held to before woke culture, are just catching up with men? Even when I was on a dating app, I "stuck in my lane". Years of boys in school hauling insults at how ugly one is can mess up one's self image! If a guy looked "hot" on a dating app, I didn't bother! I mean if I can't even get a prom date with pimple filled classmates, who am I to think men are going to think I'm hotter because I am on a dating app? Abs pic = nice eye candy but if only we could photograph our brain capacities! I agree, more women seem to care about the way guys look (could be all the insta brainwashing, idk...read the psychology reports in a couple of decades)...but I have had this problem all my life! I'm sorry it sucks, but there are still a lot of good headed women out there! Qn I have for the guys: what are YOUR standards on these apps? I would like to see some photos of the ones who "really hurt you", coz I am really curious. BTW, at least it is still culturally acceptable for men to approach women more than it is for women to do the opposite....well, unless everyone in club was looking at her, if you get my vibe.
Let’s get it boys
I believe that it's all about social circle now. Unless you look like Chad Thundercock you aren't going to get any interaction on dating apps. But if you have a good social circle that allows you to get face to face with a woman in real life. Face to face in a social situations your intelligence, humor, and game will actually play a factor. On dating apps you have nothing but looks. Whenever you go out to the store and you see an average looking guy with a knockout and you wonder how the hell he got her. Well he probably goes to the same church as her or he met her through a friend of a friend.