This movie sucks. What other terrible rip-off movies are there? I need to find and burn them Support me on Patreon : www.patreon.com/saberspark Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/Saberspark
Random thing that drives me insane in this movie: he gets all worried because he didn't study for a SURPRISE test. *Of course you didn't study, you didn't know you would have a test*
it's supposed to be a joke, unfortunately. the girl car even comments on it further: "I wonder why she keeps calling it a surprise test" after the teacher announces it ahead of time just in case the audience didn't get the "joke"
14:01 Ok, I have to admit, that was a pretty good take. Imagine there being an island where old/injured people get sent to die. That car's response would be very, very accurate. I feel bad for him; that poor little car is legit panicking!
Theory: Cargo universe is a dystopia. In this universe, cars have to be 100% perfect. If some car isn't perfect, they send it to an island, where it has to die.
Everyone's be like Danny is Sora, Cabigail is Sabrina/Clarissa, and Danny's dad is Carl, but nobody mentioned that the car who rammed into Danny's dad has the same voice actress as Flame freaking Princess?
NO FUCKING WAY REALLY?! (That’s awesome, the red car was my favorite ngl so that’s really cool considering flame princess was my favorite adventure time princess)
Unless they take off the entire hull and wash them. But now I want to see what their insides look like when they take off their hull. Imagine TAKING OFF and then washing your skin. And then putting it back on.
If they're anthropomorphised cars, wouldn't a drag race just be a fun, wholesome foot race between friends? Why would a policeman get angry at some kids running in the park
By that logic, the protagonists father was hit by somebody who was running so fast that the impact crippled him. So much so that he was sent to an island to rot (because car society deemed him a burden I guess?) and be attacked by other people who removed his feet and organs. Holy shit this universe is dark.
"A surprise quiz? I didn't study!" That's... Kind of the whole point of pop quizzes? You're not meant to know when they are, so to actually study for one is kind of impossible isn't it? Sure, he could have just studied in general, but who does that unless they expected something coming up?
Also... Laundry? They're cars... What do they have that could be considered laundry? I know they got into costume that one time, but... That's costumes. They don't need washed all the time... Eh, just chalk it up to it being a bad movie overall.
Better question: Why the hell does a car need to take a quiz? A car is supposed to drive places, not do calculus. As far as I'm concerned, going street racing makes more sense for a car than taking a quiz does. No wonder he faked being sick and went street racing. Taking quizzes is stupid for a car.
The saddest thing about this movie is... This plot could have been interesting. Imagine, a world of the future that is practically an Utopia, with crime barely existing and quality of life at an all-time high. Our protagonist, a high school student, is at the top of his class and a son of a successful doctor. He has a promising career ahead of him, his life basically set in stone. To the outside world, he appears hard-working and dedicated, but inside, he's apathetic and finds his life boring and void of meaning. He constantly gets into fights with his father due to not wanting to go to the med school of his father's choice, and makes it a habit to fake sick and skip classes just to wander aimlessly around town. On one of these walks, he meets a group of teen delinquents, who introduce him to an underground world of violent fighting tournaments, which fascinate him as a symbol of rebellion against boring safety of his everyday life. He becomes a spectator, then a fighter, and gets quite good at it due to his dedication and disregard for his own life. However, his father begins to suspect that his son is up to something and follows him to the tournament site one night. He witnesses his son about to lose in a death match and intervenes, saving his son but getting badly hurt in the process. The police and the paramedics arrive, the father is sent to a hospital, where his injuries are deemed untreatable and he is sheduled to be euthanized. Feeling deep guilt and wishing to apologize to his father before it's too late, the main character stays in the hospital overnight despite it being against the rules, and accidentally overhears the terrible truth - the reason there are no disabled people in this future Utopia is because those who are severely injured and lose one or more organs or limbs are deemed "waste" and sent to secret facilities where their working organs and limbs are removed and distributed among the members of the elite, including many top-tier underground fighters, who constantly lose body parts in the fights, but get new ones from the facilities, just so they could go on fighting endlessly. The main character is too late to stop the facility workers from taking his father, who is still alive, but decides to find the facility and save his father, whatever it takes. With the help of his troubled delinquent friends, he begins to make his way up in the undergrouns fingting world in hopes to get close to the elite and learn more about the facility his father was sent to, learning horrible facts about the way the "perfect" world around him works, growing as a person, and facing harsh decisions along the way. I mean, it's a mediocre plot, but it could work. What we got, though... It absolutely did not.
Jonathan Fife The only book series with a similar plot line I can think of is the unwind series but it's teenager's instead and the organs go to anyone that needs them.
20:08 No joke, I literally thought that the dad was actually saying that, up until the bowels part. Its just the lip sync in this movie made me think that he was actually saying that... Nowadays I just close my eyes and think that Carl from Up is saying that....
Oh, you fell over? NORMAL PEOPLE: Put a plaster on it, it’ll be fine tomorrow. PEOPLE IN THIS MOVIE: Off to corpse island! We’ll take your liver, it’ll bee good for something! I swear this is a form of population control.
I saw an email about a kid who got her liscense and clearly said no to the organ donor bit but they printed them as a donor anyways. The parents suspected something sketchy. Especially since it happened again with another one of their kids.
So this *”children’s”* movie encourages; faking illness to skip school, the song after says if you study your not cool, competing in illegal road races, competing in the car equivalent of a freaking gladiator match, escaping jail, gambling with a cannibal for the promise of a boat ride (even though it’s a coin flip so its 50/50 there gonna die... if your gonna gamble at least don’t be stupid and take horrible odds), competing in another gladiator style death match... great lessons...
@Mamallama 57 it might not be Slut, it MIGHT be something else. Y'know how sometimes when somebody makes a song, they make a single part and makes it sorta hard to hear so you misinterpret it for something else. But hey, it sorta sounds like Slut so it MIGHT be. Though it sounded to me more like "Schmut"
The worst part is, this film is still *better* than that "other" _Cars_ rip-off, _A Car's Life,_ which was released all the way back in 2006. Saber, for the love of all that is Holy, DO NOT review that film.
That picture is not a sex toy bro! That's a Nitros Oxide bottle! Or NOS is you would like. It gives a car an over powering amount of torque. Enough to blow up an engine. So in with "Cargo" universe, Nitros would be strong drugs. Lol.
Just want to say that the intro of "never ever" too many times reminded me of that scene from singing in the rain where people were mocking their movie by saying "i love you i love you i love you i love you" That would be me.
this movie looks like it was made by eating a computer and letting your digestive system model animate and edit the movie and then literally shitting out the final cut of the movie
Wait, wouldn't a street race be like a running competition? Wouldn't the fast and furious movies be considered a sports genre?? Your asking the wrong questions Sabre!
That theme song.. If you turn the volume down a little, and slow it down a little too.... It sounds like an anthem.... Like a really dangerous nations anthem
You'll have to tell me what it is because my stupid brain associated the theme song with the main theme from the South Park movie and I can't hear anything else!
13:52 Spoiler alert, that happens way too often in real life. There are even places in the world that want to make organ harvesting a mandatory thing, can't let good organs go to waste it seems.
I'm sorry, this is too distracting to me, but... HOW THE HELL DOES A RENAULT R8 FATHER A PORSCHE 911?! That's like a horse being the father of a penguin!
That scene right before Danny's dad hauls him away? It's like being at your friends house and their dad starts yelling at them. That's how awkward it gets
"ugh, you better go to the nurse" "Shakescar's so brilliant" "about that, was that cool?" "more, more!" "mhunhunhun, you are all in jail" "dont you care that i care" "sure that i care you care, but i dont care to see you encarcerated" "wait a minute, im not saying i care the way you care" "a car after your own heart" ok that's enough continue if you guys want to
LB Productions Yeah, it's kinda boring. My own cure for insomnia is the review of the Time Machine I Bought at a Yard Sale by Phelous and Lupa. Not the movie itself, it will be too unpleasant. With Phelan's review I can get a good mix of boredom and entertainment, which is very soothing!
Here's the thing. This movie is ass. And it really puts Cars 3 in perspective. I don't know how this movie manages to be worse than both A Car's Life and The Little Cars, but oh my God, Asylum did it. It's deplorable. And they pulled Jay and Ed Asner in this shit. That's punishable by death.
VTAnimation I bet Ed Asner did it for fun: the guy is nearly 90 years old and is a television legend, he doesn't have anything to prove to anyone... But Melissa Joan Hart? She had been on a very slippery slope as of late. 😥
The "intensive car unit" joke was very funny the second time I played it, and you know what. For the excuse of a animation. It manages to chuckle me regardless!
Ok...how the hell do you keep popping up?! You're in* like EVERY tf2 related video and now I'm seeing you everywhere else! I'm losing my mind over this shit! *Edit: By that I mean in the comment section
Apparently this movie was so wild to me the first time I watched this that I later mistook the entire thing for a fever dream and couldn't tell if it actually existed or not.
I am so happy I found this channel, you are the only channel that does reviews that I will watch to the end. Other channels I probably would back out right in the beginning of the video.
"More more!" XD "Don't you care that I care" "Sure I care that you care about me caring by I care but do you care by I don't feel like you care bc caring is sharing or sharing is caring"
"The tire goes one way, and the guy goes the other" 6:39 Actually the camera was shot on the right side of the car when the tire starts rolling away, and when guy starts running it was shot on the left side of the car, it's just the camera perspectives that made it look weird.
I thought I was the only person who read those books! The whole series is pretty good. There’s just one major difference between that and the Unwind books. In the Unwind books, parents can choose to have their kids unwound no matter how healthy they are so long as they’re between 13 and 18.-
How do cars have kids? They don’t they assemble and build them and they get upgraded as time goes on. Anyone who’s watched Robots would know that (that’s another good underrated movie) Nudge nudge
wait, let me try to theorize. so cars are a mixture of organic and inorganic matter, right? meaning that they can reproduce. so perhaps they may have a hidden penis or vagina? There have also been some dirty jokes in some of the movies of cars and planes I can kind of elaborate on..?
I also wonder if the size of a newborn car is as small as a human child. since they don't have exposed parts (except for the red car in cars 2 with headlights as eyes since you could see through its windshield) it may probably be the size of an average 4 year old..
If someone sends me 850$ I'll make an improved 'Joshua and the Promised Land' ●Better aesthetics •Better Voice Acting •Copyright •Actual editing •I get some pocket change Whad'ya say?
A cg animated movie costs about 8 million$ to make. Im offering to make one with the points ive made for only 850$. I will not go for less, and certainly cant do it for free. I get the feeling im talking to a bunch of ppl who dont know much about the cost of movies.
This movie sucks. What other terrible rip-off movies are there? I need to find and burn them
Support me on Patreon : www.patreon.com/saberspark
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Saberspark do poppe the performer next
Saberspark
B u r n t h e m a l l
Saberspark Food fight is awful animation wise and story you have to watch it
hey i love your channel
Saberspark pls do review on A Cars life
"Shakescar"? That's the best you could come up with? That's not even a pun! Brakespeare. Shakesgeare. Eighthgeare. Gimme something.
Yeah, I love puns and this is insulting.
Nom du Clavier Madagascar
You should've written this movie
@@parker-boy98 me?
LeoCARdo Da Vinci
(I'm so sorry it wasn't even funny)
I can see “ _NOOOOO_ “ and “Gross” becoming regular sounds in this series.
I hope they do! They're amazing
Don't forget the burping fish.
22:13
Burping fish too!
(Some guy explains the meaning of life)
*_BUUUUUURP_*
"NOOOOO" IS THE BEST
The "Hi, I'm Ed Asner." Followed by the pocketknife is what gets me ever time.
"Hi i'm Ed Asner" then procedes to pulling out a fucking switchblade and killing the camera man
Top tier moment of this channel lol
Ridashippu
yeah
He makes you understand everything in four words.
It’s so random and unexpected
Rest in Peace Ed Asner (1929-2021), actor behind Art in this god-awful movie. I loved Elf and Up as a kid, so he's gone but never forgotten.
why is it always the legends that die?
The Cars: [start talking]
Their Heads: ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇ ⬆ ⬇
Fawn Clayton 😳 kinda hot
*Konami code*
Popular animation series in my country characters: *Talking*
Their heads: ↑ ↓ ↘ → ↑
Reviathan their heads go ⬆️⬇️⬆️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️SelectStart
Like in the new Thomas The Train seasons
Random thing that drives me insane in this movie: he gets all worried because he didn't study for a SURPRISE test.
*Of course you didn't study, you didn't know you would have a test*
It's a test on surprises
"Drives me insane" lol
@@Ghoosteny hehe
it's supposed to be a joke, unfortunately. the girl car even comments on it further: "I wonder why she keeps calling it a surprise test" after the teacher announces it ahead of time just in case the audience didn't get the "joke"
Only an Espeon could nail studying for a surprise test, change my mind
7:53 That "Sex Toy" Is a bottle of Nitrous Oxide, aka "Nos". You use that to make the car go faster.
So its a "No Drugs" sign
Just say NOS!
Thanks
"No Nos"
Literally "speed"
Nos is a brand, not a short term for the chemical.
Favorite quote of this movie: “hehehe they’re all in jail”
Yup
*you're
@@Demonetization_Symbol dude I think you have the wrong comment section
@@deathbyplasma3202 I think what they mean is that it's "you're all in jail," not "they're all in jail."
My favorite too.
So, when Dany fights the monster truck he wears parts of car wrecks, thats basically the equivalent of an armor made of human skin and bones.
Bruh.....
When it is metal, fiberglass and plastic it is fine.
Thats the most metal thing ive ever seen, pun intended
Just like ed gein
If u dont know who that is he is basically the real leather face
I now want that armor...
16:20 Oh COME ON, at least get the pun right. "Shakescar"? It shoulda been "Shakesgear"! The obvious joke was right there!
Wobbles and Bean Obvious joke was obvious.
Shakescark, so brilliant!
@@xzylo5672 Sin counter: *D I N G*
@@vortexastar193ikr
Breaksgear
Edit: or is that Brakesgear? forget which is the correct spelling.
Most of those puns aren't even puns, they're just random words with "car" shoehorned in!
Timothy McLean Carbigail....
I thought her name was "Cab-igail," which would at least have been a pun.
Timothy McLean Shoot! No wonder I was wondering where the "b" fit in
Haha, shoeHORNed in
Puns are a tyred cliche. :/
14:01 Ok, I have to admit, that was a pretty good take. Imagine there being an island where old/injured people get sent to die. That car's response would be very, very accurate. I feel bad for him; that poor little car is legit panicking!
Why did at several points i thought of Mickey Mouse when hearing him talk LOL
@@navexelac2 he does kinda sound like Mickey now that you bring it up.
This movie is really dark
To be honest what’s weird was he was sent to the crusher immediately and yet the main characters dad isn’t sent to the crusher
The “No” from Joshua and the promised land gets. Me every time 😂 lol
HK N O O O O O O O O O E
But Still an bad film
NO.
NOOOOOOOOO
HK since saberspark showed us Joshua & the wall it kicked foodfight to #3 & where the dead go to die to #2 in the top 10 worst animated movies!
HK
N O
N O O O O O
Y O U ' R E A L L I N J A I L
No u
Uno Reverso.
*Banjo Kazooie music plays*
@@ENTR0PY Stop that shit!
Pinky the Pink Car: We're about to go to jail. TIME TO SING!! :D
Me: “my foot hurts”
Doctor: “OFF TO CLUNKER ISLAND!”
Thats more google than doctor
Me with my hurt foot: Wait, WHAT?!
These are cars
Doctor: WTF is a "foot"?
This needs to be a meme.
Sounds American.
Me: "I scratched my finger, can I have a band-ai-"
Nurse: "Clunker island."
Mmm got a bruise on my elbow... Oh WAIT I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAY OUT LOUD
Nurse: "did I hear clunker island?"
RUN
Flag mates!
Me: I have a little cough
Nurse: Clunker island
Hello nurse?
I diagnose you with CLUNKER ISLAND
It's like Stalin sending people to the Gulag.
Doctor: I diagnose you with dead
thank some sub roses HELLLOOOOOOO NURSE!
Ok, but "I heard your entire plan an hour ago" is honestly hilarious
SO YOUR PLAN IS THAT...
THAT WOLF TRACERS DINOSAUR ISLAND IS BETTER THAN CARGO?
Theory:
Cargo universe is a dystopia. In this universe, cars have to be 100% perfect. If some car isn't perfect, they send it to an island, where it has to die.
@person person And the first Shrek?
@person person and also Cars 2 I guess?
It took me 10 minutes for me to process this comment's english
@@Silverhand20203 I fixed it. Thank's for notice. English is not my native language.
@@nunkatsu Not really. The lemons are just mocked.
Everyone's be like Danny is Sora, Cabigail is Sabrina/Clarissa, and Danny's dad is Carl, but nobody mentioned that the car who rammed into Danny's dad has the same voice actress as Flame freaking Princess?
What
NO FUCKING WAY REALLY?! (That’s awesome, the red car was my favorite ngl so that’s really cool considering flame princess was my favorite adventure time princess)
8:10 "When you're in juvenile detention garage, would you rather work in laundry, or making license plates?"
...THEYRE CARS. THEY DONT HAVE LAUNDRY.
Fuzzy antenna toppers?
couldn't license plates themselves be car laundry?
Dirty rims? Or are they just giving cars a full car wash?
Unless they take off the entire hull and wash them. But now I want to see what their insides look like when they take off their hull. Imagine TAKING OFF and then washing your skin. And then putting it back on.
MaskOneOneTwoThree car covers
If they're anthropomorphised cars, wouldn't a drag race just be a fun, wholesome foot race between friends? Why would a policeman get angry at some kids running in the park
Mageneated that cop obviously has some weird problems
Pull over!
By that logic, the protagonists father was hit by somebody who was running so fast that the impact crippled him. So much so that he was sent to an island to rot (because car society deemed him a burden I guess?) and be attacked by other people who removed his feet and organs.
Holy shit this universe is dark.
Ally Gator Animator LOL
MAKE THE CARS DRAG RACE IN BIGGER CARS
Ed Asner just pulling a knife killed me.
Literally and metaphorically.
10:02
10:06
That clip always gets me
@@jimboringo9958 me to
@TheLegoDragonSlayer Build That depends *_heavily_* on where you live.
10:09 Good moment (knife moment)
Rest in Peace to the legend: Ed Asner. You will be missed.
"Hi, I'm Ed Asner" *pulls switchblade*
@@penquinn6942 Lmafo
Knife to meet you too.
"A surprise quiz? I didn't study!"
That's... Kind of the whole point of pop quizzes? You're not meant to know when they are, so to actually study for one is kind of impossible isn't it? Sure, he could have just studied in general, but who does that unless they expected something coming up?
Also... Laundry? They're cars... What do they have that could be considered laundry? I know they got into costume that one time, but... That's costumes. They don't need washed all the time...
Eh, just chalk it up to it being a bad movie overall.
Squeeee
XD. He literally went "squeeee", like WTH? XD
So, when is that review gonna happen? :3
Thanks for explaining the Pop Quiz thing, we don't have them here and I've never understood the term from films.
@@pricklytrash5309 maybe they wash their hoods and their doors?
Better question: Why the hell does a car need to take a quiz? A car is supposed to drive places, not do calculus. As far as I'm concerned, going street racing makes more sense for a car than taking a quiz does.
No wonder he faked being sick and went street racing. Taking quizzes is stupid for a car.
The saddest thing about this movie is... This plot could have been interesting. Imagine, a world of the future that is practically an Utopia, with crime barely existing and quality of life at an all-time high. Our protagonist, a high school student, is at the top of his class and a son of a successful doctor. He has a promising career ahead of him, his life basically set in stone. To the outside world, he appears hard-working and dedicated, but inside, he's apathetic and finds his life boring and void of meaning. He constantly gets into fights with his father due to not wanting to go to the med school of his father's choice, and makes it a habit to fake sick and skip classes just to wander aimlessly around town. On one of these walks, he meets a group of teen delinquents, who introduce him to an underground world of violent fighting tournaments, which fascinate him as a symbol of rebellion against boring safety of his everyday life. He becomes a spectator, then a fighter, and gets quite good at it due to his dedication and disregard for his own life. However, his father begins to suspect that his son is up to something and follows him to the tournament site one night. He witnesses his son about to lose in a death match and intervenes, saving his son but getting badly hurt in the process. The police and the paramedics arrive, the father is sent to a hospital, where his injuries are deemed untreatable and he is sheduled to be euthanized. Feeling deep guilt and wishing to apologize to his father before it's too late, the main character stays in the hospital overnight despite it being against the rules, and accidentally overhears the terrible truth - the reason there are no disabled people in this future Utopia is because those who are severely injured and lose one or more organs or limbs are deemed "waste" and sent to secret facilities where their working organs and limbs are removed and distributed among the members of the elite, including many top-tier underground fighters, who constantly lose body parts in the fights, but get new ones from the facilities, just so they could go on fighting endlessly. The main character is too late to stop the facility workers from taking his father, who is still alive, but decides to find the facility and save his father, whatever it takes. With the help of his troubled delinquent friends, he begins to make his way up in the undergrouns fingting world in hopes to get close to the elite and learn more about the facility his father was sent to, learning horrible facts about the way the "perfect" world around him works, growing as a person, and facing harsh decisions along the way.
I mean, it's a mediocre plot, but it could work. What we got, though... It absolutely did not.
I'm pretty sure that there is a book series that I have that I can't remember the name of that was really good with a similar plot.
Jonathan Fife The only book series with a similar plot line I can think of is the unwind series but it's teenager's instead and the organs go to anyone that needs them.
I'd watch that.
This is AMAZING
@@TheRedVoyager I think that might be Unwind, absolutely great book.
20:08
No joke, I literally thought that the dad was actually saying that, up until the bowels part. Its just the lip sync in this movie made me think that he was actually saying that...
Nowadays I just close my eyes and think that Carl from Up is saying that....
It is hilarious though. Can we agree on that
@@plaidhatter1674 Also he just uses the f-word.
I thought this movie was rated g according to imdb.
How the hell did they get away with that?
It reminds me of Doc Hudson.
Fly high
Probably edited
“I don’t care to see you incarcerated” literally so romantic
Shipping is over. We found the best couple... *The real OTP* ...
"I dont care to see you inCARcerated"
@@ryz5804
Ayee
Ouce
Young love
Saberspark: “CarGo is the worst Cars Ripoff.”
A Car’s Life: “Allow me to introduce myself.”
Well you’re not wrong
At the end.
they even stole the name from "A Bug's Life" but replaced the "Bug's" with "Car's"
*The Autobots* says hi
*The Little Cars* from Video Brinquedo says hi
Apparently, the slightest scratch counts as “totaled.”
The nurses are too lazy to actually do anything
Oh, you fell over?
NORMAL PEOPLE:
Put a plaster on it, it’ll be fine tomorrow.
PEOPLE IN THIS MOVIE:
Off to corpse island!
We’ll take your liver, it’ll bee good for something!
I swear this is a form of population control.
@@phoenixfoster-smith8585 NHS cuts smh 😂
Onyx Savior Well, What can they Do?? They're just Cars XDDD
TBH, I saw a towing company that said a truck was "Totaled" because the engine took on water...
Onyx Savior or phsycopaths
"You are either cheap, lazy or both"
They could also just be outright incompetent.
2:03
“hmhmhm you’re all in jail”
I AM DEAD
*YALL GOIN IN JAILLLL*
KGLSKX I JUST MADE THAT COMMENT ITS JUST SUCH A WEIRD PHRASE
me too
lol if I were a prison guard I would totally do that.
HE'S BACK!
THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK!
Well, we do harvest organs. If the person's an organ donor.
Yeah, but we don't send them to "clunker island"
@@parker-boy98 We have nursing homes
I saw an email about a kid who got her liscense and clearly said no to the organ donor bit but they printed them as a donor anyways. The parents suspected something sketchy. Especially since it happened again with another one of their kids.
@@Em_Elizabeth What happened?
just use some bone meal to make it grow faster!
"What happened? '
"You passed out"
"And you betrayed me'
Best writing ever
If you put those lines in a different context and made the scene more gripping, those would actually be okay lines (at least in my opinion)
How did she betrayed him at all?
That “never ever” speech felt like my entire life. Bring it back pls
"I wanna begin where you end". If Human Centipede was a romantic musical
Human Centipede: The Musical
-produced by The Asylum
TechPassion Your reply is better than my comment. I have dishonored my family and shall die 😔
Why did you have to remind me of that.... I struggle to call it a film.
So this *”children’s”* movie encourages; faking illness to skip school, the song after says if you study your not cool, competing in illegal road races, competing in the car equivalent of a freaking gladiator match, escaping jail, gambling with a cannibal for the promise of a boat ride (even though it’s a coin flip so its 50/50 there gonna die... if your gonna gamble at least don’t be stupid and take horrible odds), competing in another gladiator style death match... great lessons...
Wow. I learned so much. I cannot wait to become a better person now!
@Mamallama 57 it might not be Slut, it MIGHT be something else. Y'know how sometimes when somebody makes a song, they make a single part and makes it sorta hard to hear so you misinterpret it for something else. But hey, it sorta sounds like Slut so it MIGHT be. Though it sounded to me more like "Schmut"
whoever grew up with this movie is prolly rad as hell
And hospitals murdering people
To the movie's credit, I'd hardly say it "encourages" half those things, since the protagonist is nearly always chastised for doing them.
Dude, Saber, another one right out of the park. Keep up the great work
Fiddle Diddler Liked for the profile pic haha
Wow saber, great moves, keep it up, proud of you
A movie for “There’s a Wocket in My Pocket” seems like a horror movie.
*Don't be a jerk, Always pay bills* 10:42
These lyrics are amazing, I tell you what. Never since Bohemian Rhapsody has a song moved me so much.
good one, also teen-genderbent-timmy-turner as an avatar?
@@vadifadoms lol
That is my new favourite song, it has a good sound to it
10/10 Lyrics
It deserves an Oscar for Best Original Song
We just gonna ignore that the friend car said his name is Vin Diesel?
Yeah, I think he said Vin Giesel
Vin Giesel
No diesel as in the gasoline
Eha diesel >:3
Hey, at least that joke was better than most puns in this.
They seriously used 'Shakescar' when 'Shakesgear' was just sitting right there.
Shakesgear so brilliant
Brakespeare?
@@xri0tt
No, Shakegear sounds better
Link not really
Makes sense why the company that made this is called "The Asylum", because that's exactly where the people who work for this company need to go.
It’s an asylum for people who reuse other movies’ ideas, recycle every thing they can, and reduce the quality.
The worst part is, this film is still *better* than that "other" _Cars_ rip-off, _A Car's Life,_ which was released all the way back in 2006. Saber, for the love of all that is Holy, DO NOT review that film.
@nd im siting here just like, DO IT,DO IT, CMON, DO IT
JamesPolymer You did watch this review to the end, did you?
Yes, and I made this comment before watching it all the way. However, people seem to like it and I'm a total lazy butt, so it stays here. o7
wapow my brethen.
He reviewed Joshua and Trolland, so he will survive it
That picture is not a sex toy bro! That's a Nitros Oxide bottle! Or NOS is you would like. It gives a car an over powering amount of torque. Enough to blow up an engine. So in with "Cargo" universe, Nitros would be strong drugs. Lol.
It was blurry and you can’t tell what it is
Button Masher not really, it's more like a "No Drug Use" sign.
"BurritoOoOoOoOs?" - Spirit of the Forest (Princess Mononoke: New Dub 2k18)
My god, that part made me laugh.
If the Forest Spirit in Mononoke had been that obnoxious, then I wouldn't have been bummed when he got shot XD
That would have made the movie less depressing. Also, like how the plant began to withered as he went down the list of food.
Saberspark: its just cars talking to each other.
Me: sounds like Cars 2.
Shots fired!
Cars two is better
But with me!
That Lion screaming "Noooooo" is the best! That should be a meme for 2018!
DaReddJugg quick find a clip to juxtapose it with!
DaReddJugg NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOŒOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO DAREDDJUGGG I THOGHT OF THAT FIRST AND I WAS TO LASY TO COMMENT SO YOU COMMENTED IT FIRST !
1. It's a monkey
2. It's already an inside joke
Just imagine being in prison and the guard is just humming and mumbling, "You're in jail."
The princess mononoke bit made me laugh. Very good
God, I was dying!
Its a great movie tho
Jess Miller i agree
I don't think I can ever look at that movie the same ever again
DORREETOES?!
Just want to say that the intro of "never ever" too many times reminded me of that scene from singing in the rain where people were mocking their movie by saying "i love you i love you i love you i love you"
That would be me.
this movie looks like it was made by eating a computer and letting your digestive system model animate and edit the movie and then literally shitting out the final cut of the movie
Sounds like something AVGN would say
GROSS
*Timeroller disses this movie*
Everyone:
CopCar: PULL OVER!!
no, that's trolland
Honestly, that sounds kind of easy. Just sit back, relax, and let your digestive system do the work. I guess that would explain alot...
"There will be no dildos in this classroom"
7:57
At least it's not sex ed.
“What’s that in your desk?”
“DETENTION!”
it was a nitro tank on the poster
*_aw man_*
"Don't be a jerk, always pay bills."
What people do when it's not Christmas.
Me: mum can we get Cars
Mum: We have cars at home
Cars at home:
That's somehow worse....
17:55 Ah, my favorite song, “You’re all in Jail”.
And the Banjo Kazooie music
Perfect
“Insert banjo kazooie music”
HE'S BACK!
THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK!
Wait, wouldn't a street race be like a running competition? Wouldn't the fast and furious movies be considered a sports genre?? Your asking the wrong questions Sabre!
It technically is one, racing is a sport
*you're*
If a car slips on oil it will not spin in the puddle gotta say bad animation. CarGo 1/10 Cars 1 Cars 2 Cars 3 10/10
Dey get arrested for running lel
That theme song.. If you turn the volume down a little, and slow it down a little too.... It sounds like an anthem....
Like a really dangerous nations anthem
You'll have to tell me what it is because my stupid brain associated the theme song with the main theme from the South Park movie and I can't hear anything else!
13:52 Spoiler alert, that happens way too often in real life. There are even places in the world that
want to make organ harvesting a mandatory thing, can't let good organs go to waste it seems.
I'm sorry, this is too distracting to me, but...
HOW THE HELL DOES A RENAULT R8 FATHER A PORSCHE 911?! That's like a horse being the father of a penguin!
Idk
That scene right before Danny's dad hauls him away? It's like being at your friends house and their dad starts yelling at them. That's how awkward it gets
May I be 100% honest here? The part after "clunker island" is introduced is actually quite fascinating.
"Dont be a jerk always pay bill"
gross
Nope aint doin it never never ever ever never never ever never ever ever never never ever never ever ever never
Bills
Bills!
"ugh, you better go to the nurse"
"Shakescar's so brilliant"
"about that, was that cool?"
"more, more!"
"mhunhunhun, you are all in jail"
"dont you care that i care"
"sure that i care you care, but i dont care to see you encarcerated"
"wait a minute, im not saying i care the way you care"
"a car after your own heart"
ok that's enough continue if you guys want to
PULL OVER
y o u n g l o v e
h e ‘ s g o t a g o o d e n g i n e o n h i s s h o u l d e r s
_I wanna begin where you end_
@@themuffinman775 "Dude that's creepy!" i can't agree more, Spike.
I tried watching this on RUclips and fell asleep after 10 minutes
LB Productions
Then how did you write that
let me change my name I woke up and fell asleep and remembered what happened then and so happens to be near the ten minute mark
LB Productions mcqueen is triggered
LB Productions Yeah, it's kinda boring. My own cure for insomnia is the review of the Time Machine I Bought at a Yard Sale by Phelous and Lupa. Not the movie itself, it will be too unpleasant. With Phelan's review I can get a good mix of boredom and entertainment, which is very soothing!
Man, I wish I was saberspark's friend so I could watch some weird ass movies on a regular basis
Here's the thing. This movie is ass. And it really puts Cars 3 in perspective. I don't know how this movie manages to be worse than both A Car's Life and The Little Cars, but oh my God, Asylum did it. It's deplorable. And they pulled Jay and Ed Asner in this shit. That's punishable by death.
VTAnimation I bet Ed Asner did it for fun: the guy is nearly 90 years old and is a television legend, he doesn't have anything to prove to anyone... But Melissa Joan Hart? She had been on a very slippery slope as of late. 😥
VTAnimation your animation are awesome. Just so You know.
This is absolutely DISCUSSING.
I love your new series Saberspark. I wanted to be a cartoon reviewer
Well you better know if the guy who rants or doesn’t.I mean I don’t care for Rebeltaxi but I think Saberspark is better
You can be, just start saving for equipment or start by writing reviews.
Matt Lucas How about the nostalgia critic?
I wanna see Saberspark review The Asylum's rip-off of Saberspark's review of Cargo
me too.
The "intensive car unit" joke was very funny the second time I played it, and you know what. For the excuse of a animation. It manages to chuckle me regardless!
Goes to show that sometimes, things considered bad have their good sides
I died at the Ed Asner clip when he just friggn whips out a knife 😂
Time frame pls?
Akira From Wii Sports Club 10:06
At least it’s better than A Car’s Life
Ok...how the hell do you keep popping up?! You're in* like EVERY tf2 related video and now I'm seeing you everywhere else! I'm losing my mind over this shit!
*Edit: By that I mean in the comment section
StickMaster500 So true
Thomas Murrell true
Yep... no doubt about it
Yea. WAAAAY better than that piece of crap
Sounds like a bad video game plot. ...now, you get a disguise, now go to a demolition derby, then escape from jail, collect the car parts...
oh yeah it does. hopefully the asylum never makes video games
casual crisis TBH I bet it would be so glitchy that it would be ironically fun
Apparently this movie was so wild to me the first time I watched this that I later mistook the entire thing for a fever dream and couldn't tell if it actually existed or not.
I am so happy I found this channel, you are the only channel that does reviews that I will watch to the end.
Other channels I probably would back out right in the beginning of the video.
RandomMexicanDubb Same.
How about The Nostalgia Critic?
+Lucas Santo Amore Never heard of that channel but I will check it out.
RandomMexicanDubb pp
I Hate Everything, ralphthemoviemaker, Nostalgia Critic...
Shakes-car? THEY MISSED THE CHANCE TO DO "SHAKES-GEAR"! *SHAKES-GEAR!* They can't even do car puns right!
Ragg Reviews I guess they were too TIRE-d to write better puns. Their creativity really (s)PUN outta control!😂😂😂
Someone recommended "Brakespeare," which sounds destructive but would still work.
Timothy McLean What about King Chrys-LEAR?
Ah! I'm so good at cars puns!(please shoot me!)
Shakescark, so brilliant! (RRRRRR) How ‘bout DAT? Was that cool!? More! More!
"More more!" XD
"Don't you care that I care"
"Sure I care that you care about me caring by I care but do you care by I don't feel like you care bc caring is sharing or sharing is caring"
Young love.
13:15 -- They took him to ICU... Intensive Car Unit
That delivery was perfect though.
It's not bad as little panda fighter and the little cars
Man I remember that movie
And don't get me started with a cars life which is worst than the little cars and cargo
Michael Matzek and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8
Little cars... I found Little cars 8 for 3 $ in a store
what about cars life and whats up, or better yet little and big monsters
What the hell is Cargo?
Cargo beep beep.
EveryWorld Beep Beep
lettuce
EveryWorld lettuce
Laff700 Burger King foot
*senpai uses a mild swear word*
"Beep beep, Saberspark!"
Hearing Sora’s voice come out of that car is driving me nuts.
"The tire goes one way, and the guy goes the other" 6:39
Actually the camera was shot on the right side of the car when the tire starts rolling away, and when guy starts running it was shot on the left side of the car, it's just the camera perspectives that made it look weird.
This is called breaking the 180 degree rule, BTW.
I knew someone else would notice
But why? Why would they do that?
The Cars series really went downhill....lol
I won't be shocked if there's a ripoff of the emoji movie.
Rainbow Doodler209 The emoticon movie.
Katelyn Osborn Juarez I honestly hope so too, which is kind of sad really.
Rainbow Doodler209 Sad as it is, I'd actually _campaign_ for the existence of such a cash-in.
The emoji movie is a rip off. You cant rip off a rip off.
The Texting movie
Clips from this "film" look like cutscenes from a cheap unlicensed Wii game.
“not such a dummy now, am i?”
@@bruhchamp16593 Rerez taught you well.
Like Sonic Unleashed?
@@LegendaryHedgieMii The animation in the game is actually good, and has a story miles better than...this abomination.
@@goldenninja9053 You see all the cutscenes for that game?
13:44 That's the plot of the book Unwind- ( A young adult book by Neal Shusterman)
I thought I was the only person who read those books!
The whole series is pretty good. There’s just one major difference between that and the Unwind books. In the Unwind books, parents can choose to have their kids unwound no matter how healthy they are so long as they’re between 13 and 18.-
Remember when Sora was a delinquent car that wanted to be a race car and then tried to save his dad from being cannibalized?
Oh yeah that was in the Cars universe!
Yeah yeah!! Me too!! And his girlfriend is Sabrina the Teenage Witch and his dad is Carl Frederickson!
Man, that part of KH3 was weirder than I remember
@@NicknooVision Yep, it was
When i found out that Hailey voices the main character i was like how did they get him to be in this stupid movie??
10:05
"My asthma won't stop me from kicking your Asner" -Ed
Shakespeare
=
Shakescar
=
Shakeshuman
I know, that's just stupid
Aww but you skipped over the best song of the movie
"I'm just a teeeeeeeenaAaAage caaaaaaarrr"
We'd better get a musical number from Sora in KH4
I thought the same thing.
"Hi, I'm Ed Asner" *pulls out switch blade*
9:36 "Pull over!" -Optimus Prime
I'm not sorry for making a Revenge of the Fallen reference.
I dont blame you, that is a good movie
I wonder how many time that cop said PULL OVER
I like how he says "Pull Over" even though they already pulled over
How do cars have kids?
They don’t they assemble and build them and they get upgraded as time goes on. Anyone who’s watched Robots would know that (that’s another good underrated movie) Nudge nudge
Robots is basically the only good movie Blue Sky ever made. And it has Robin Williams, so that just makes it better
@@reaganlaurel6688 Peanuts and the original Ice Age were both pretty good weren't they?
go search up cars on rule 34 and maybe you'll get it..?
wait, let me try to theorize. so cars are a mixture of organic and inorganic matter, right? meaning that they can reproduce. so perhaps they may have a hidden penis or vagina? There have also been some dirty jokes in some of the movies of cars and planes I can kind of elaborate on..?
I also wonder if the size of a newborn car is as small as a human child.
since they don't have exposed parts (except for the red car in cars 2 with headlights as eyes since you could see through its windshield) it may probably be the size of an average 4 year old..
I love how at 7:04 you can see the textures going crazy in the background.
"And you better say yes because we
Never
Ever
Ever
Ever
Ever
*10hours later*
Never ever ever
Hear the word no"
Me:you just said it tho -_-
That moment when he says don’t be a jerk pay the bills in the dad’s song is the moment you realize that they ran out of lyrics to write lmao
“Wait so.. which is it? Am I cool or am I beautiful?
“Well um... you are... um... GROSS”
I heard sora's voice from Kingdom Hearts so i was like "is that haley joel osment"
If someone sends me 850$ I'll make an improved 'Joshua and the Promised Land'
●Better aesthetics
•Better Voice Acting
•Copyright
•Actual editing
•I get some pocket change
Whad'ya say?
@Yiago Villa
800 and I'll remove pocket change and double up on the copyright
dam, if only i had money.
Can you do it for free?
A cg animated movie costs about 8 million$ to make. Im offering to make one with the points ive made for only 850$. I will not go for less, and certainly cant do it for free. I get the feeling im talking to a bunch of ppl who dont know much about the cost of movies.
@@lemo8986 I wasn't being serious.