Lee you just healed my broken Heart. Thinking that my Narcissist Friend had schemed it all from the very beginning drove me crazy. You've just healed my soul. Thanks a lot. Now i can really move on. This video is just fantastic! Thanks sooo much Lee.
I found out my narcisist uncle caused me to get admitted into a psysch ward (forcefully) by lying to the police i was having psychosis. I watched lee videos and some others and found out he's a huge narcisist who schemes about everything. Everything is a scheme with these people. Eventually i called him out on his narcistic personality disorder and start forcing boundaries. He suddenly start telling me i have psychosis, confusion and need meds simply because i called out his bullshit and stopped agreeing with him. Everyone saw through his bullshit and we got rid of his ass. 10 months later and i'm still suffering from the aftermath. He literally tried to control everything even tried to control how much milk and sugar i put in my coffee
@@MentalHealnessmy situation is a little different he becomes a narcissist when he gets high when he's sober he the most loving person and just wants to be around me and his kids just recently he relapses and it's been the worst he's ever been
If you have to pretend to be someone else right from the start to get someone to like you, then yes its a plan . If it starts on deception then yes the whole relationship was false
It’s their only modus operandi though, remember they did not learn to develop healthy relationships with the primary care giver, apparently due to abuse or neglect of some kind. They perhaps had only conditional love, so would move heaven and earth so to speak to please the parent. The core self is gone and what is left is terrified, hyper vigilant. Put yourselves in their shoes, they want your love/supply/recognition/do over Mummy!!! Didn’t we present ourselves as best we possibly could to them also? I cycled across two counties to meet him initially! I’m so tired of all the fighting and psycho talk! I don’t think we get far by blaming and shaming and seeing them as monsters and devils.
@@leighhopkinson5641 Oh my god, you've drunk their kool aid. Understanding how they got to be the way they are doesn't mean they are not monsters and devils. Having sympathy for him was what he wanted, and it kept me in his deadly trap longer than I should have been.
@@leighhopkinson5641 And yes, we initially present ourselves as best as we can, but if sane and healthy it doesn't involve lying about who we are. Healthy relationships are not ever built atop a foundation of lies, and healthy people know that.
@@robinellisonYou obviously don’t understand what a psychological disorder is. Disorders permeate every aspect of their lives. The narcissism guides them, they aren’t even aware they have it. You obviously have no empathy… which begs an interesting question.
None of the narcissists in my life are smart enough to come up with a plan they screw up and just hope everything works out the way they want. They spend more time trying to ruin other people's lives and end up self-sabotaging than they spent in a shower.
You are rare. You are not fortunate but blessed. Reverance God for being Favored to be informed, wise, understanding, and Protected. Don't play with it. You have a Purpose.
In retrospect I can now recognise blatant lies from the first date. I don’t think it was a grand scheme as such, but he was trying to present himself very differently to how he really was. Looking back it was just such an exhausting relationship.
Ya same here actually from the first conversation on the cell phone , she was a vile human being , lying , cheating , comparing me to other men and her exes and men much younger then me , saying some of the weirdest things that somebody normal wouldn’t say… she use to say to me nobody understands me and people call weird and that she wanted people to talk kind to her ,,, she said I understood her then 3 months later she says that i don’t understand her , it just got worse ….I’m so happy I’m out..
Ditto! Ditto! I bear part of the blame for the heartbreak I've endured because I so ignored the huge red flags. I just loved him so much that it was too painful for me to end it myself. He showed me who he really was even at the beginning, but I wanted so much to believe that he would eventually love me as much as I loved him. Unfortunately, he never did and all the while he was looking for someone better.😢
@@iramsavir5631not better, just another source of supply… better or worse is irrelevant. They just want to receive the potency of the adulation and ego boost of another fresh love bombing phase. It had nothing to do with you. Remember that.
Usually, slowly destroying someone is easier than working through life struggles with another person. I'd imagine the narcissist knows this from the start.☠️
They must be superior and you inferior. That’s what drives them to fight you. It is said that they have an inferiority complex that they over compensate with a superiority complex. Also, they put themselves into a god-like complex or delusion that they must live up to. When they don’t, they beat themselves up inside for it. They find out that they can make themselves feel better by dumping it onto you, watching you suffer with it, then they get relief from their inner turmoil and mental illness. That’s one reason. The other could be that they are born with some sort of brain dysfunction that makes sadism work inside of their brains and they get a rush off of it. Of course they hide it. They learn how to keep a strait face but sometimes the duper’s delight grin happens and they’ll try and cover up up with a cough or yawn or claim to be laughing at something else. They also have an, “ I can do no wrong “ mentality. They will fight you to the death about that and even over something petty. So since they can’t get blamed, you must get blamed and then they see you as the villain. Just my opinion on the, they see you as the villain. That’s a new idea that I have from recently visiting with my sister. I’ve been testing things out. She was doing a lot of projection. I am tripping. I’m tripping because it’s not deliberate. It’s coming out from her own frustrations and inner turmoil. Just saying. It’s just something that I noticed this last visit. Don’t get me wrong, I have also witnessed her use projection as a tool; a weapon of choice to deliberate beat me down with. Yes, they know what they’re doing but it first came out from the dysfunctional mind and then later they figured out how to wield it like a weapon. In other words, what she was doing, she wanted me to look like a bad guy. I was correcting her though. I said, no, that’s not how I feel or who I am. Then I explained to her with proof. That ego and that need for perfection makes them want to deny those feelings and put them into you as a scapegoat. It’s weird because it’s not even necessary.
Ngl, to me it doesn't seem that way. Working through things seems way easier. Destroying someone's life is a pain in the ass, even if I had low empathy like a narc - just think of the long term. How many people will have it out for you and work against you? Much easier to navigate this world with some allies on your side.
I love hearing it more from this perspective💛. This is what helps me heal and let go-- understanding why they are the way they are. I don't find that demonizing them is beneficial-- not for me anyway.
@@brynne77I have and it’s true. They have no self-esteem, no true self even. They are completely dependent on the what other people think about them. They can’t distinguish partners from themselves, so when a partner admires them, they believe that that feeling comes from them, from within. That is the only form of self-esteem they will ever have. Can you imagine never being able to feel good about anything you have ever done and only being able to feel good about yourself exclusively through the eyes of someone else. It would be terrifying for me.
@@kryssis69 Very interesting. No, that does sound very rough, to only get your self-esteem from others and what they think of you. It didn't occur to me that narcissists may be in survival mode. Thanks for your comment.
Lee I did it I left the narc! I posted here a few months ago saying I was trying to buy a home so I could leave and on Aug 31st I closed on my house! I told the narc after closing and he took it well for what I can see! We haven’t talked in months but still live together! Me and my kids have been moving all weekend and I feel so free finally! Thank you so much for helping me through this although you don’t know me you have kept me grounded and focused during the process! 🎉🎉
Hi. Good luck to you, but do watch your back! Some narcissists can be very tricky people. Not trying to be negative, just trying to be honest. But I hope things so well for you and your kids :) Hope you will be free :)
Looking back, there were little signs, but he always caught me off guard. I felt shocked and needed time to process what I felt and experienced. The hard part was realizing our intentions were not the same. That's a devastating day with too many to follow.
He knew he was lying from the start. He mimicked facial expressions and pretended to feel things he didnt feel. But i do think he liked the image of me he had in his head. He said what he believed I wanted to hear, and then promptly forgot to maintain those stories. 🙄
My Mother called me 3,000 miles away, a year before she died, 54 years into marriage ( 6 kids, both pillars of a community,,,good works)and said " your father just told me he never loved me". She went on to say, nothing he had done over the years they were together ever couldn't be rolled off her sleeve, though this destroyed her. She died a year later. I tried to help her feel better. She was a great person. Didn't deserve this pain.
RIP to your dear mother. 🫂 You were there when she told you, she had you to comfort her in last year of life. That is a gift most Abused do not get, young or old. Treasure that no matter. I'm so sorry for your mother, and, for you. 🌹🤲
They suffer from (FOMO) fear of missing out. As an empath I'm loyal to what, or whoever is working at the time for me. When I was a kid for instance, I liked the same toys, or pets I owned for yrs. Hell even when I pump gas in my car these days I try to use the same pump lol. I can't understand why narcissists always choose variety over dependability. Nor can I understand why they can't be comfortable in their own company. I'm glad I don't need attention 24/7 to be happy. And it is my wish for all narcissists to become as aware, and change like Lee has done. He is a blessing to us narc survivors and has great info to share 😇
They can’t generate passion and inner peace and happiness. We can generate passion and focus on long term goals. They can’t. It’s like they don’t have that emotional capacity to hold something greater than themselves.
I was 17 and he was 20 when we met 30 years ago and we had no clue back then about covert Narcissists etc. It took decades for me to piece everything together. I also agree that not all people even know THEY are a narcissist. In my case, he was obsessed with me for a while and then he slowly emotionally detached so I agree with what you're saying. Watch out for the warning signs and red flags folks, that way you will know what you're dealing with and can get out ASAP!
So, if sometimes it's real in the beginning feeling wise, but not in terms of being who they are...that means the love bombing is a manifestation of how deeply insecure they are and how much shame they feel about themselves. That makes so much sense, fits perfectly the core nature of narcissism. They like you, but they can't show up as who they are because they don't think who they are is going to be accepted. Very insightful, thank you.
My ex did very much pick his new supply to hurt me. I still dont understand why he thought itd raise his value in my eyes to know that he was using a perfectly nice woman when if he knew me, he'd know I was disgusted by his cruelty toward her. I guess they just operate by some unknowable logic. Like, obviously dude. Im gonna see myself in her and feel sympathy bc I was in her shoes and have theory of mind. I wanna say he's a dip shit, but now I know hes just very, very sick. His karma will be to lose us both, and our karma will be freedom, both from him and from whatever drove us toward him.
In hindsight, I was actually chosen to spite the ex, as well. She was always very nice to me, too. In fact, he would become irate when we were nice to each other, because we were "supposed" to make each other crazy. But... Dude. You pick codependent peace makers. What do you think is gonna happen. 😂😂😂
Thank you Lee, for being so honest about your perspective on things. I know you can't speak for each narcissist but i learn alot from your videos and skits.
So much pain just for their selfishness. I can't understand and I've been trying for years and have been to the hospital so many times. My parent did to me, their child this I mean why have kids then? they should get toys. When I was young and healthy and going to university, I was put forward and when I fell ill I was thrown away,. I know narc did that to their other half but I learnt in my flesh and soul that they do it to their own kids. This is sick
My Ex Narc Girlfriend had me thinking the more I loved her the more respect she lost for me, so yes you're on point, she couldn't accept that she was loved for her and she future faked n it was getting exposed eventually...I had a long talk with with her ex, he felt exactly the same way. It is what it is.
Did you try to ask for how it used to be in the beginning ? Man it was so perfect. It makes me wonder if my ex is a narc. I'd ask if we could try to get our relationship back to where it used to be (spending more time together, going out more) but she refuses saying "it wasn't enough for me in the beginning so it wouldnt be enough now".
@mattbraga4033 no I didn't ask. But when I left her she started crying then 2 minutes later she started threatening to never speak to me again then she asked me out the next night. She's outta control. Now she Talks mad smack about me to all our friends n this has been going on for almost a year. I'm done with her..
It was for me. I only briefly chatted with her in passing while walking my dog. She saw my business card in my car as we parked next to one another and looked up my social/company website etc and had my phone number and was talking about me to her friends months before we "officially " met and started dating. She dropped her hat "accidentally" and left a note with her phone number. Looking back we went to the local farmers market and she approached some guy that worked there and he had a weird nervous look on his face and looked taken aback that ahe approachec him in front of me. Months later i saw him in her recent searches on her facebook. She claimed she was single for 3 years prior but looking back i got a strong suspicion now he was her old supply before me.
This is so interesting. When I was a KID, I figured out one cannot pretent to be someone they are not, because it's not possible to sustain that state. It must be exhausting, you wake up one morning, and just don't have the energy to rebuild the facade for another day. Then you're naked to the world. Much easier to be yourself. I'm not talking about putting your best foot forward, we all do that everyday in many ways, but we are still our true selves, just being polite out there in the world.
I told my narcissistic boyfriend that he needs to get his life together and get himself in order. It’s like I’m talking to my oldest grandson and he’s 18!🤦🏾♀️🤣 When we first met he would always tell me how it’s just me and him and in my head I was like oh really! And ours were lust.
You need to get rid of that boyfriend. He's just going to make false promises and never get himself together. Let him become a whole person first. Then you can reconsider. There's no point in dating your "son".
I loved that you mentioned that we can disagree with you,provided we do it respectfully. Many people dont get this concept and its such a turn off. People just dont know how to disagree respectfully. It's a huge red flag for me.
Ive been away from my ex for 2 months now. Up until recently i had brain fog and couldn’t remember anything about the relationship. Now that my memories are coming back I’ve realized that she was using me to get what she wanted. Once she got it she discarded me and found someone new while we were together. I lost everything in the end. Her life kept on going like we were never together. It sucks but I slowly coping with the idea i was used. But its helped with my healing. Thank you for your channel. You’ve helped me heal through this process. I truly appreciate you.
Now you know most narcissistic people know exactly who they are and what they are and knowing they are not deserving any beginning Be real let's be real now! A bunch of rejects, I heard destroying people's lives how sad it is how sad! But that's okay we all going to reap what we sow.💯😉
I agree timing matters if it was real or not for a small time in the very beginning. I think they can't help needing to be in chaos and they feel more at home in dysfunction.
💯💯 I was groomed by his ex for the narc. Yes I was a rebound and new supply I payed for it! Even so....the narc called me by his ex name for the whole situationship.
No no no no hell naaaaww! Called you by his ex's name? Nah that's next level rude and very stupid of him quite frankly. The sheer audacity. Good riddance 🙌🏽
This may be the most poignant video that you have ever made. This fits exactly what I went through. She told me she pretended to like movies we watched so that I would like her. She said she liked me so much she wanted so bad for me to like her. It was amazing at the beginning and I will cherish that part forever.
You are right. Seems like this is how it was with my last one. I would say it is still better to be safe and reject them than be sorry and tolerate them. Seriously i would regret it more if it turned out horrible than if I actually missed up a great chance with a good person.
I'm so proud of you Lee. I struggle with Brain Disorders 🧠 and to see you understand your brain health issue is amazing and to help others understand its an actual Disorder is everything as I continue on my journey to understand the monsters inside of me sort of speak. Bless up you and your family. You guys and wife are beautiful people. Thank you so much for letting us see you and how you work to stay on top of your mh. Blessings 🙌 ❤❤
You are right about the new supply. I think it was meant to hurt me. But by then I had no emotion left so it did nothing for me. A few years later they split up but meantime I had moved on.
To me, my ex felt kinda sadistic so when she knew I was an emotional person she decided to take me on because she knew she would get the emotional reactions she wanted. I probably gave her top notch narcissistic supply. She didn’t think that I’d be strong enough to walk away when she started disrespecting me and my boundaries. I definitely had weak boundaries at the beginning and I was very patient with her emotions since she has BPD but I suspect that’s not where the personality disorder ended for her she probably also has ASPD and NPD tbh given that she was a complete phone addict. I left once I couldn’t deny that she didn’t care about my feelings at all. Of course she played the victim like she wasn’t driving me insane. I swear her whole life she’s been looking for someone exactly like me who is an empathetic emotional person who genuinely cared about her so she could get off on emotionally abusing me. I was so confused when things ended due to reactive abuse I thought I was the narcissist. I tried to stay friends but then she started an argument at that point I was fed up. When I ignored her she went berserk blowing up my phone. I didn’t have the strength to tell this person I cared about and invested a lot into that I couldn’t be in her life anymore. She hurt me so many times disrespected me so many times. I cared when her feelings were irrational. When my feelings were more than rational she literally seemed to deliberately be pushing my buttons to set me off. Once she got a reaction out of me once i ignored her she heard all of what I had to say but then turned it around on me to me to Grow up then blocked me. So I blocked her on everything and she still is reaching out to my mom to see if we still care. Toxicity. The only way I would take her back is if she threw her phone in the ocean and genuinely started trying to get better. And apologize but she won’t so I’m better off without
I agree with you. We are human beeings and every person is unic and there are so many different ways, developments and events in the lifes of people. Every person has his own story. Forsure there are simular patterns and behaviours. Personally I don' t like to put people in the same box. By this video you paint a greater picture with your thoughts and your experiences. Thank you for sharing the story of you and your wife .I enjoyed this part of the video. I listened to the stories of perpetraters who came to Christ In their past they lived a destructive life and became criminals and did inhuman things to others.. They eceived a second chance Some of them are now pastors and they have new hearts because of their repentance and giving their hearts to Jesus . Their stories made me cry because most of them were victims themselves as childs. Nothing is impossible by God. Marc 10, 27 📖⚘️ He can replace a heart of stone by a new and lively heart ❤ Ezekiel 36, 26 ( I want not make excuses or encourage someone to stay in a toxic relationship) We have our lessons in our healingprocess to built up selflove and healthy boundaries including '"no contact' if necessary. I pray for God's guidance, protection and wisdom for good decisions 🙏💛
Lee, your videos have helped me learn so much after leaving my ex-husband. I appreciate your insight. It is helping me heal. Just like another comment, I don’t think he was smart enough to come up with a plan from the beginning. It is possible, though.
I don't think he had a grand plan in the beginning - he was just a prolific liar and a chancer. The longer it went on, the longer the lies went on and he didn't seem to have any guilt about lying - just chancing it. When he did get caught out - he still tried to hide his lies. Foolishly I thought he would own the lies and come clean - how naive was I?! He just carried on ducking and diving. My life is so much more peaceful now that I have nothing to do with him. The anxiety has gone.
This is so true. Ex friend with who I discovered to be a scheming, manipulative narc. And now I’m recalling from the Very beginning, the straight up lies and deception that was part of a plan. The mirroring, the information gathering to use You against You at a later date. No healthy, secure person acts this way. But a toxic, deeply insecure individual only seeing friendships and relationships as a vehicle for means to an end smdh. And yes, he presented a front. Because who he really was wasn’t a likable, dependable or loyal friend. The truth played out in the chaos of his personal life, his family life, the fact he couldn’t keep a girlfriend, a job, one place to stay or even a longtime friend.
I think this is correct. At first they are enamoured with you because you make them feel good. As soon they aren't the centre of attention, you become the enemy that is taking some of their supply. They are greedy for the emotional space in the relationship. Once you become a human with needs they flip the script and all you hear is how you aren't enough for them. It's fucked up. I use to be susceptible to them because my father is a malicious narc but I can weed them out in a matter of minutes now.
Lee, I just ended a year long online situationship with what MUST be a narc. She lied to me in the first 3 minutes, claiming her gf was abusing her, sending photos of wounds, and eventually getting beaten into brain damage to get out. Turns out, that's her wife. She was texting from her honeymoon and spent the next year pushing her victim narrative, pushing me to fall in love with her and convincing me she was, the gaslighting was lifetime movie worthy, the backhanded compliments, the intermittent reinforcement, forming a deep trauma bond. This relationship woke me up to my own problems. I'm going in to be tested for BPD this Tuesday (much like NPD but we have too much empathy and I'm personally the quiet type, so they don't even have to make excuses or take any responsibility. I'll just hate myself for them). My condition makes me food for users. When I confronted her with the truth, it took a lot for her to admit, but when she did, she literally told me "I'm sorry for taking advantage and using you" and "You're a great person. I'm sorry for ruining that." During the relationship, there were moments when she would be self aware and say something like, "What are you doing to me?" or BEGGING me to never leave her, or how she is a horrible person. So ... 1 - Would you consider this a plan from the start? Did she just target my dumb ass and I fell for it? 2 - I really think she knows she's an abuser. What did it take for you to wake up? I am no contact and that won't change but, despite the damage she caused, I genuinely loved her and now that I know what's going on with both of us, I have to forgive her if I'm going to forgive myself. I was cycling too and just didn't know it. 3 - Do you think she has empathy at all? Do you? Sorry, just trying to understand based on what I've heard. 4 - I would love to see a video where you break down the NPD/BPD relationship. Anyway, hope you're well and I'm so grateful to have found you. Thank you.
Yes, I definitely knew mines was from the beginning….. it All was revealed when he got to America….. I got hoodwinked‘cause he’s not here now and he changed one month and a half…. And I realize the person he hurt when we got married in front of that person but didn’t know it….. gave benefit of doubt
I think they believe they meet a great person, and believe being with that.person will fix them; fill that abyss of a hole where spirit should be, when they can't, because no one else can, they become angry. Self-obsessed people rarely tend to themselves, it's why they seek such adulation.
It depends on the circumstances. My ex once told me that he talked to a female colleague because his boss at that time hated that colleague, and the boss wanted to have another relationship with him, but he didn't (she was too elder for him, according to him). So, he disgusted her by talking to the other female , making her jealous. (I didn't realize that was a huge red flag when he passionately shared this story with me. )
My thoughts on this subject with my ex narc. It could go two ways. 1. He told me that he just wanted someone in his life to love him? 2. The lady before me stopped calling and blocked him. So, this might have or had not been a plan first the beginning. I don't know, but that's maybe my situation. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔. I am not making excuses for him. It's just my opinion. But that does not excuse. Someone to treat you horribly. And plan to deceive you from the beginning.
Hmmmmm..never saw it this way…my ex was mad that I didn’t want to have a baby ( for obvious reasons and more)… so he left me and got another girl pregnant only to come back and rub it in my face…wow…I’m learning so much
Lee when I tell you I came out from the wilderness, ( 12 years of self isolation) I encountered a Narcissist ( didn't know and had NEVER met one). Married a year later. 8 months in, I was like what the heck is this? Needless to say I am filing for divorce ( non- cooperative husband🤬) and I am ready for self isolation again. I should have stayed in the wilderness 😂😂. Love bombing, devaluing and the discard cycle too many times. He cracked me up and asked me why I don't answer his calls or text. ..2 months later. I guess he missed me😂😂😂😂😂. I am grateful for the experience. I learned a lot and healed within the relationship. I thank God I spent those years in isolation. Yes , I am a spiritual empath and during this encounter, I went super nova on his a##. In my Keith Sweat voice🎶something, something just wasn't right🎶😂😂
What happens when your daughter is the narcissist. She’s always the victim but us her parents have always been there for her but the abusive talk and nastiness has us keeping her at a distance. Now she is not talking to us and withholding her children from us. It’s a sad situation.
My ex def used me after the first 2 months he became malicious. I believe he loved me maybe for 20 minutes then POOF it was gone lol. Thx for the video Lee 🙏🏽💕
If a narcissist is aware of their condition, can they control or cure it? You are so self aware…are you able to have healthy relationships now? Are you able to accept and give love?
Definitely a Grand Scheme from that Friday the 13th of my birth. Mom says i was so so different than my brother that i was raised differently as per my NEEDS... TRULY B.S. & coincidentally my siblings initials. They are Sadistically CATHOLIC to me & each think of the others as Christian. My famdamnlies Harmony come from their competition TO UPSTAGE EACHOTHER IN THEIR GOAL to cause harm onto me, period!
My ex def did that in the beginning. I was his new supply because he chased a woman for 5yrs and she never gave him any or a chance. I was the dummy who did tho. And after I left with our kids he called her again trying to get some, sadly he’s still trying…😂🤷🏾♀️🥴
Mine absolutely did. Knew him 10 years when we were both committed. Once he got divorced & found out I was newly single: game on. He knew I wanted 2 get married so he went that route, asked my dying dad 4 my hand. 3 years later he ghosts me 4 a younger trashier clone of me. I went instant no contact. It’s been 6 of the hardest months of my life. Coming 2 terms with the person I loved with all of my soul was never real. None of it was. And he took my little dog child. Heartbroken
They are so convincing because THEY BELIEVE that they have just met the love of their life who will make them hay until the very end.They see the changes in themselves but they are sure it works that way and the changes are permanent.A lot of target who would for for a marriage scammer fall for a narcissist.
See...I don't think he "planned" to make me like him. I don't think it was his intention and I honestly think he was tryna save me from the narcissistic side of him because of something he said, but his ego and definitely his insecurities took over and he started in on me with the verbal abuse, external factors came into play too.
All the narcs I've ever dealt with the big scheme is just simply successful manipulation and the resulting control they feel. And oddly, whatever it is that they're trying to manipulate you into giving or doing for them isn't the priority, yes its stuff they want but the real thrill is the success of a completed manipulation cycle, that target they were trying to get is just gravy. They also hate when you just decided on your own to do or give them stuff, if its not something they targeted to manipulate you to get they want nothing to do with it. I dated a narc that let that be known, I once brought him some homemade beef enchiladas and Mexican rice I had made, and I got this look like how dare you do this, not a thank you, just the unmistakable vibe to never do this again. Wow. Well, needless to say that relationship did not last. But I guess all narcs are not necessarily alike in their behaviors.
I was broken after 7 months with mine😳 have gone celibacy again for the third time! All good things are 3. maybe the next man I meet one day will be the one. I will be much more careful and going slow into it! And Im not chasing ANYTHING only attracting!
I have an honest question for you Lee. Are you getting a lot of supply from this channel? Is it more about how it makes you feel more than helping people. No judgment, I'm honestly curious
Opportunity scheme. Smoke & MIRRORS strategy. To get her resources. Plan to use the good hearted girls. Yes girls. He needs a place to live free. He is a freeloader. Etc.
At this point I don't think it was genuine. After everything we talked about and the story from the beginning, I feel in my gut that he was planning a lot! I wasn't trusting before, I'm really not trusting now, this has torn a rip in thinking with relationships. He said it wasn't intentional but I dont believe him when he says good morning. He is the father of lies.
My narc would say he loved movies I already said Id love and then not understand when Id make references or jokes lol. I think maybe Lee is a very mild narcissist, not full blown like the ones that enjoy others pain and misfortune and especially causing it just to cause it.
Lee you just healed my broken Heart. Thinking that my Narcissist Friend had schemed it all from the very beginning drove me crazy. You've just healed my soul. Thanks a lot. Now i can really move on. This video is just fantastic! Thanks sooo much Lee.
♥️
I found out my narcisist uncle caused me to get admitted into a psysch ward (forcefully) by lying to the police i was having psychosis. I watched lee videos and some others and found out he's a huge narcisist who schemes about everything. Everything is a scheme with these people.
Eventually i called him out on his narcistic personality disorder and start forcing boundaries. He suddenly start telling me i have psychosis, confusion and need meds simply because i called out his bullshit and stopped agreeing with him. Everyone saw through his bullshit and we got rid of his ass. 10 months later and i'm still suffering from the aftermath.
He literally tried to control everything even tried to control how much milk and sugar i put in my coffee
Me too!
@@MentalHealnessmy situation is a little different he becomes a narcissist when he gets high when he's sober he the most loving person and just wants to be around me and his kids just recently he relapses and it's been the worst he's ever been
If you have to pretend to be someone else right from the start to get someone to like you, then yes its a plan . If it starts on deception then yes the whole relationship was false
It’s their only modus operandi though, remember they did not learn to develop healthy relationships with the primary care giver, apparently due to abuse or neglect of some kind. They perhaps had only conditional love, so would move heaven and earth so to speak to please the parent. The core self is gone and what is left is terrified, hyper vigilant. Put yourselves in their shoes, they want your love/supply/recognition/do over Mummy!!!
Didn’t we present ourselves as best we possibly could to them also? I cycled across two counties to meet him initially! I’m so tired of all the fighting and psycho talk! I don’t think we get far by blaming and shaming and seeing them as monsters and devils.
@@leighhopkinson5641 Oh my god, you've drunk their kool aid. Understanding how they got to be the way they are doesn't mean they are not monsters and devils. Having sympathy for him was what he wanted, and it kept me in his deadly trap longer than I should have been.
@@leighhopkinson5641 And yes, we initially present ourselves as best as we can, but if sane and healthy it doesn't involve lying about who we are. Healthy relationships are not ever built atop a foundation of lies, and healthy people know that.
This is a really good thing to remember, thank you. Foundation is everything.
@@robinellisonYou obviously don’t understand what a psychological disorder is. Disorders permeate every aspect of their lives. The narcissism guides them, they aren’t even aware they have it. You obviously have no empathy… which begs an interesting question.
None of the narcissists in my life are smart enough to come up with a plan they screw up and just hope everything works out the way they want. They spend more time trying to ruin other people's lives and end up self-sabotaging than they spent in a shower.
You are rare. You are not fortunate but blessed. Reverance God for being Favored to be informed, wise, understanding, and Protected. Don't play with it. You have a Purpose.
I think in the beginning they are infatuated and they 💯 want you but then the NPD takes over and they start the hunger games !
Exactly 😢
In retrospect I can now recognise blatant lies from the first date. I don’t think it was a grand scheme as such, but he was trying to present himself very differently to how he really was.
Looking back it was just such an exhausting relationship.
Ya same here actually from the first conversation on the cell phone , she was a vile human being , lying , cheating , comparing me to other men and her exes and men much younger then me , saying some of the weirdest things that somebody normal wouldn’t say… she use to say to me nobody understands me and people call weird and that she wanted people to talk kind to her ,,, she said I understood her then 3 months later she says that i don’t understand her , it just got worse ….I’m so happy I’m out..
Ditto! Ditto! I bear part of the blame for the heartbreak I've endured because I so ignored the huge red flags. I just loved him so much that it was too painful for me to end it myself. He showed me who he really was even at the beginning, but I wanted so much to believe that he would eventually love me as much as I loved him. Unfortunately, he never did and all the while he was looking for someone better.😢
It’s because they try too hard in the beginning and once they secure you they unleash the demon within.
@@iramsavir5631they always be looking for someone better it’s like they are looking for food not a person! 🤡
@@iramsavir5631not better, just another source of supply… better or worse is irrelevant. They just want to receive the potency of the adulation and ego boost of another fresh love bombing phase. It had nothing to do with you. Remember that.
Usually, slowly destroying someone is easier than working through life struggles with another person. I'd imagine the narcissist knows this from the start.☠️
😞
@MentalHealness I know, right? Not the case for all relationships
They must be superior and you inferior. That’s what drives them to fight you. It is said that they have an inferiority complex that they over compensate with a superiority complex. Also, they put themselves into a god-like complex or delusion that they must live up to. When they don’t, they beat themselves up inside for it. They find out that they can make themselves feel better by dumping it onto you, watching you suffer with it, then they get relief from their inner turmoil and mental illness. That’s one reason. The other could be that they are born with some sort of brain dysfunction that makes sadism work inside of their brains and they get a rush off of it. Of course they hide it. They learn how to keep a strait face but sometimes the duper’s delight grin happens and they’ll try and cover up up with a cough or yawn or claim to be laughing at something else.
They also have an, “ I can do no wrong “ mentality. They will fight you to the death about that and even over something petty. So since they can’t get blamed, you must get blamed and then they see you as the villain. Just my opinion on the, they see you as the villain. That’s a new idea that I have from recently visiting with my sister. I’ve been testing things out. She was doing a lot of projection. I am tripping. I’m tripping because it’s not deliberate. It’s coming out from her own frustrations and inner turmoil. Just saying. It’s just something that I noticed this last visit. Don’t get me wrong, I have also witnessed her use projection as a tool; a weapon of choice to deliberate beat me down with. Yes, they know what they’re doing but it first came out from the dysfunctional mind and then later they figured out how to wield it like a weapon. In other words, what she was doing, she wanted me to look like a bad guy. I was correcting her though. I said, no, that’s not how I feel or who I am. Then I explained to her with proof. That ego and that need for perfection makes them want to deny those feelings and put them into you as a scapegoat. It’s weird because it’s not even necessary.
Can't figure the point of wanting to destroy someone though 🤷🏽♀️
Ngl, to me it doesn't seem that way. Working through things seems way easier. Destroying someone's life is a pain in the ass, even if I had low empathy like a narc - just think of the long term. How many people will have it out for you and work against you? Much easier to navigate this world with some allies on your side.
It's instinctual, trying to get their needs met the only way they know how. They grew up in survival mode.
I love hearing it more from this perspective💛. This is what helps me heal and let go-- understanding why they are the way they are. I don't find that demonizing them is beneficial-- not for me anyway.
Very interesting perspective. Have you spent time with narcissists to say this?
@@brynne77I have and it’s true. They have no self-esteem, no true self even. They are completely dependent on the what other people think about them. They can’t distinguish partners from themselves, so when a partner admires them, they believe that that feeling comes from them, from within. That is the only form of self-esteem they will ever have. Can you imagine never being able to feel good about anything you have ever done and only being able to feel good about yourself exclusively through the eyes of someone else. It would be terrifying for me.
@@kryssis69 Very interesting. No, that does sound very rough, to only get your self-esteem from others and what they think of you. It didn't occur to me that narcissists may be in survival mode. Thanks for your comment.
Lee I did it I left the narc! I posted here a few months ago saying I was trying to buy a home so I could leave and on Aug 31st I closed on my house! I told the narc after closing and he took it well for what I can see! We haven’t talked in months but still live together! Me and my kids have been moving all weekend and I feel so free finally! Thank you so much for helping me through this although you don’t know me you have kept me grounded and focused during the process! 🎉🎉
Congratulations!!!! 🎉I'm so happy for you! What an accomplishment!
Hi. Good luck to you, but do watch your back! Some narcissists can be very tricky people. Not trying to be negative, just trying to be honest. But I hope things so well for you and your kids :) Hope you will be free :)
Congratulations!! 🎊 💜 so happy for you and your kids! This gives me hope… I’m trying my best to not speak to mine while we are still living with him.
So proud of you! You are an inspiration. Keep going. Remember give yourself grace. And don't fall for his new manipulation because it will come.
Please have a big “Narc free” party for yourself 🥳🥳🥳
Looking back, there were little signs, but he always caught me off guard. I felt shocked and needed time to process what I felt and experienced. The hard part was realizing our intentions were not the same. That's a devastating day with too many to follow.
He knew he was lying from the start. He mimicked facial expressions and pretended to feel things he didnt feel. But i do think he liked the image of me he had in his head. He said what he believed I wanted to hear, and then promptly forgot to maintain those stories. 🙄
They show horrible facial expressions in the end like they scorn you.
My Mother called me 3,000 miles away, a year before she died, 54 years into marriage ( 6 kids, both pillars of a community,,,good works)and said " your father just told me he never loved me". She went on to say, nothing he had done over the years they were together ever couldn't be rolled off her sleeve, though this destroyed her. She died a year later. I tried to help her feel better. She was a great person. Didn't deserve this pain.
This is so sad to read. I'm so sorry for her broken heart.
RIP to your dear mother. 🫂 You were there when she told you, she had you to comfort her in last year of life. That is a gift most Abused do not get, young or old. Treasure that no matter. I'm so sorry for your mother, and, for you. 🌹🤲
So devastating. Very sorry
They suffer from (FOMO) fear of missing out. As an empath I'm loyal to what, or whoever is working at the time for me. When I was a kid for instance, I liked the same toys, or pets I owned for yrs. Hell even when I pump gas in my car these days I try to use the same pump lol. I can't understand why narcissists always choose variety over dependability. Nor can I understand why they can't be comfortable in their own company. I'm glad I don't need attention 24/7 to be happy. And it is my wish for all narcissists to become as aware, and change like Lee has done. He is a blessing to us narc survivors and has great info to share 😇
They can’t generate passion and inner peace and happiness. We can generate passion and focus on long term goals. They can’t.
It’s like they don’t have that emotional capacity to hold something greater than themselves.
I was 17 and he was 20 when we met 30 years ago and we had no clue back then about covert Narcissists etc. It took decades for me to piece everything together. I also agree that not all people even know THEY are a narcissist. In my case, he was obsessed with me for a while and then he slowly emotionally detached so I agree with what you're saying. Watch out for the warning signs and red flags folks, that way you will know what you're dealing with and can get out ASAP!
So, if sometimes it's real in the beginning feeling wise, but not in terms of being who they are...that means the love bombing is a manifestation of how deeply insecure they are and how much shame they feel about themselves. That makes so much sense, fits perfectly the core nature of narcissism. They like you, but they can't show up as who they are because they don't think who they are is going to be accepted. Very insightful, thank you.
Thank you for saying that its possible they cared at some point. I find it devastating to think it was all fake
I knooooow 😭
It’s both, it’s all about them so it unfolds in a way that considers their wants in the moment….
My ex did very much pick his new supply to hurt me. I still dont understand why he thought itd raise his value in my eyes to know that he was using a perfectly nice woman when if he knew me, he'd know I was disgusted by his cruelty toward her.
I guess they just operate by some unknowable logic.
Like, obviously dude. Im gonna see myself in her and feel sympathy bc I was in her shoes and have theory of mind.
I wanna say he's a dip shit, but now I know hes just very, very sick.
His karma will be to lose us both, and our karma will be freedom, both from him and from whatever drove us toward him.
In hindsight, I was actually chosen to spite the ex, as well. She was always very nice to me, too. In fact, he would become irate when we were nice to each other, because we were "supposed" to make each other crazy. But... Dude. You pick codependent peace makers. What do you think is gonna happen. 😂😂😂
Great comment.
I think the difference is between "fake with bad intentions" and "fake with good intentions." But being fake is not generous.
That makes sense Lee!🤷🏽♀️👍🏽
🙏
Thank you Lee, for being so honest about your perspective on things. I know you can't speak for each narcissist but i learn alot from your videos and skits.
So much pain just for their selfishness. I can't understand and I've been trying for years and have been to the hospital so many times. My parent did to me, their child this I mean why have kids then? they should get toys. When I was young and healthy and going to university, I was put forward and when I fell ill I was thrown away,. I know narc did that to their other half but I learnt in my flesh and soul that they do it to their own kids. This is sick
Absolutely my ex got with me to hurt his ex
😫
Yep, whether they know it counciously or unconsciously. Reputition, same shit different person.
😫
They know from experience that this relationship will end too however it takes one helluva person to stand with him/her
@@mynxt30yrs2000 more like another narcissist or physchopath if you ask me
@@td2968 that IS a characteristic of narcissism
@@td2968 and actually, one who is more empathetic is to find a way to have a LTR with a narcissist
Punishment to the point of putting u in the hospital
💯 the body knows! ❤️🩹
😫
Since me and my ex narcissist have split it feels like a part of me has died.
My Ex Narc Girlfriend had me thinking the more I loved her the more respect she lost for me, so yes you're on point, she couldn't accept that she was loved for her and she future faked n it was getting exposed eventually...I had a long talk with with her ex, he felt exactly the same way. It is what it is.
Did you try to ask for how it used to be in the beginning ? Man it was so perfect. It makes me wonder if my ex is a narc. I'd ask if we could try to get our relationship back to where it used to be (spending more time together, going out more) but she refuses saying "it wasn't enough for me in the beginning so it wouldnt be enough now".
@mattbraga4033 no I didn't ask. But when I left her she started crying then 2 minutes later she started threatening to never speak to me again then she asked me out the next night. She's outta control. Now she Talks mad smack about me to all our friends n this has been going on for almost a year. I'm done with her..
It was for me. I only briefly chatted with her in passing while walking my dog. She saw my business card in my car as we parked next to one another and looked up my social/company website etc and had my phone number and was talking about me to her friends months before we "officially " met and started dating.
She dropped her hat "accidentally" and left a note with her phone number.
Looking back we went to the local farmers market and she approached some guy that worked there and he had a weird nervous look on his face and looked taken aback that ahe approachec him in front of me. Months later i saw him in her recent searches on her facebook. She claimed she was single for 3 years prior but looking back i got a strong suspicion now he was her old supply before me.
This is so interesting. When I was a KID, I figured out one cannot pretent to be someone they are not, because it's not possible to sustain that state. It must be exhausting, you wake up one morning, and just don't have the energy to rebuild the facade for another day. Then you're naked to the world. Much easier to be yourself.
I'm not talking about putting your best foot forward, we all do that everyday in many ways, but we are still our true selves, just being polite out there in the world.
I told my narcissistic boyfriend that he needs to get his life together and get himself in order. It’s like I’m talking to my oldest grandson and he’s 18!🤦🏾♀️🤣 When we first met he would always tell me how it’s just me and him and in my head I was like oh really! And ours were lust.
You need to get rid of that boyfriend. He's just going to make false promises and never get himself together.
Let him become a whole person first. Then you can reconsider. There's no point in dating your "son".
It is crazy that someone would fake themselve because no one wants a fake personality
I loved that you mentioned that we can disagree with you,provided we do it respectfully. Many people dont get this concept and its such a turn off. People just dont know how to disagree respectfully. It's a huge red flag for me.
Ive been away from my ex for 2 months now. Up until recently i had brain fog and couldn’t remember anything about the relationship. Now that my memories are coming back I’ve realized that she was using me to get what she wanted. Once she got it she discarded me and found someone new while we were together. I lost everything in the end. Her life kept on going like we were never together. It sucks but I slowly coping with the idea i was used. But its helped with my healing. Thank you for your channel. You’ve helped me heal through this process. I truly appreciate you.
Now you know most narcissistic people know exactly who they are and what they are and knowing they are not deserving any beginning Be real let's be real now! A bunch of rejects, I heard destroying people's lives how sad it is how sad! But that's okay we all going to reap what we sow.💯😉
Agree
I agree timing matters if it was real or not for a small time in the very beginning. I think they can't help needing to be in chaos and they feel more at home in dysfunction.
So in the beginning, she thought they had a lot more in common than he ever did. I can totally relate
💯💯 I was groomed by his ex for the narc. Yes I was a rebound and new supply I payed for it! Even so....the narc called me by his ex name for the whole situationship.
💯💯
How sick
No no no no hell naaaaww! Called you by his ex's name? Nah that's next level rude and very stupid of him quite frankly. The sheer audacity. Good riddance 🙌🏽
This may be the most poignant video that you have ever made. This fits exactly what I went through. She told me she pretended to like movies we watched so that I would like her. She said she liked me so much she wanted so bad for me to like her. It was amazing at the beginning and I will cherish that part forever.
You are right. Seems like this is how it was with my last one.
I would say it is still better to be safe and reject them than be sorry and tolerate them.
Seriously i would regret it more if it turned out horrible than if I actually missed up a great chance with a good person.
I'm so proud of you Lee. I struggle with Brain Disorders 🧠 and to see you understand your brain health issue is amazing and to help others understand its an actual Disorder is everything as I continue on my journey to understand the monsters inside of me sort of speak. Bless up you and your family. You guys and wife are beautiful people. Thank you so much for letting us see you and how you work to stay on top of your mh. Blessings 🙌 ❤❤
I poured out my love to be loved but i never did it to hurt anybody. That's the big difference
The fact he thought his last option was better is wild lol!
“I’m gone choose disrespect back!”🤣
😂
However their intentions are, they are toxic as hell in the end... So run when you discover their toxicities... Thank you for your videos.
You are right about the new supply. I think it was meant to hurt me. But by then I had no emotion left so it did nothing for me. A few years later they split up but meantime I had moved on.
To me, my ex felt kinda sadistic so when she knew I was an emotional person she decided to take me on because she knew she would get the emotional reactions she wanted. I probably gave her top notch narcissistic supply. She didn’t think that I’d be strong enough to walk away when she started disrespecting me and my boundaries. I definitely had weak boundaries at the beginning and I was very patient with her emotions since she has BPD but I suspect that’s not where the personality disorder ended for her she probably also has ASPD and NPD tbh given that she was a complete phone addict. I left once I couldn’t deny that she didn’t care about my feelings at all. Of course she played the victim like she wasn’t driving me insane. I swear her whole life she’s been looking for someone exactly like me who is an empathetic emotional person who genuinely cared about her so she could get off on emotionally abusing me. I was so confused when things ended due to reactive abuse I thought I was the narcissist. I tried to stay friends but then she started an argument at that point I was fed up. When I ignored her she went berserk blowing up my phone. I didn’t have the strength to tell this person I cared about and invested a lot into that I couldn’t be in her life anymore. She hurt me so many times disrespected me so many times. I cared when her feelings were irrational. When my feelings were more than rational she literally seemed to deliberately be pushing my buttons to set me off. Once she got a reaction out of me once i ignored her she heard all of what I had to say but then turned it around on me to me to Grow up then blocked me. So I blocked her on everything and she still is reaching out to my mom to see if we still care. Toxicity. The only way I would take her back is if she threw her phone in the ocean and genuinely started trying to get better. And apologize but she won’t so I’m better off without
I agree with you. We are human beeings and every person is unic and there are so many different ways, developments and events in the lifes of people. Every person has his own story. Forsure there are simular patterns and behaviours. Personally I don' t like to put people in the same box. By this video you paint a greater picture with your thoughts and your experiences. Thank you for sharing the story of you and your wife .I enjoyed this part of the video.
I listened to the stories of perpetraters who came to Christ In their past they lived a destructive life and became criminals and did inhuman things to others.. They eceived a second chance Some of them are now pastors and they have new hearts because of their repentance and giving their hearts to Jesus . Their stories made me cry because most of them were victims themselves as childs. Nothing is impossible by God.
Marc 10, 27 📖⚘️
He can replace a heart of stone by a new and lively heart ❤ Ezekiel 36, 26
( I want not make excuses or encourage someone to stay in a toxic relationship)
We have our lessons in our healingprocess to built up selflove and healthy boundaries including '"no contact' if necessary.
I pray for God's guidance, protection and wisdom for good decisions 🙏💛
It’s so hard to think things they said wasn’t true or intentions weren’t there, idk she was so convincing that I doubt myself!
😮💨
Lee, your videos have helped me learn so much after leaving my ex-husband. I appreciate your insight. It is helping me heal. Just like another comment, I don’t think he was smart enough to come up with a plan from the beginning. It is possible, though.
I don't think he had a grand plan in the beginning - he was just a prolific liar and a chancer. The longer it went on, the longer the lies went on and he didn't seem to have any guilt about lying - just chancing it. When he did get caught out - he still tried to hide his lies. Foolishly I thought he would own the lies and come clean - how naive was I?! He just carried on ducking and diving. My life is so much more peaceful now that I have nothing to do with him. The anxiety has gone.
This is so true. Ex friend with who I discovered to be a scheming, manipulative narc. And now I’m recalling from the Very beginning, the straight up lies and deception that was part of a plan. The mirroring, the information gathering to use You against You at a later date. No healthy, secure person acts this way. But a toxic, deeply insecure individual only seeing friendships and relationships as a vehicle for means to an end smdh. And yes, he presented a front. Because who he really was wasn’t a likable, dependable or loyal friend. The truth played out in the chaos of his personal life, his family life, the fact he couldn’t keep a girlfriend, a job, one place to stay or even a longtime friend.
I think this is correct. At first they are enamoured with you because you make them feel good. As soon they aren't the centre of attention, you become the enemy that is taking some of their supply. They are greedy for the emotional space in the relationship. Once you become a human with needs they flip the script and all you hear is how you aren't enough for them. It's fucked up.
I use to be susceptible to them because my father is a malicious narc but I can weed them out in a matter of minutes now.
Lee, I just ended a year long online situationship with what MUST be a narc. She lied to me in the first 3 minutes, claiming her gf was abusing her, sending photos of wounds, and eventually getting beaten into brain damage to get out. Turns out, that's her wife. She was texting from her honeymoon and spent the next year pushing her victim narrative, pushing me to fall in love with her and convincing me she was, the gaslighting was lifetime movie worthy, the backhanded compliments, the intermittent reinforcement, forming a deep trauma bond.
This relationship woke me up to my own problems. I'm going in to be tested for BPD this Tuesday (much like NPD but we have too much empathy and I'm personally the quiet type, so they don't even have to make excuses or take any responsibility. I'll just hate myself for them). My condition makes me food for users. When I confronted her with the truth, it took a lot for her to admit, but when she did, she literally told me "I'm sorry for taking advantage and using you" and "You're a great person. I'm sorry for ruining that." During the relationship, there were moments when she would be self aware and say something like, "What are you doing to me?" or BEGGING me to never leave her, or how she is a horrible person. So ...
1 - Would you consider this a plan from the start? Did she just target my dumb ass and I fell for it?
2 - I really think she knows she's an abuser. What did it take for you to wake up? I am no contact and that won't change but, despite the damage she caused, I genuinely loved her and now that I know what's going on with both of us, I have to forgive her if I'm going to forgive myself. I was cycling too and just didn't know it.
3 - Do you think she has empathy at all? Do you? Sorry, just trying to understand based on what I've heard.
4 - I would love to see a video where you break down the NPD/BPD relationship.
Anyway, hope you're well and I'm so grateful to have found you. Thank you.
If they are too good to be true, just wait or better yet, run
Yes, I definitely knew mines was from the beginning….. it All was revealed when he got to America….. I got hoodwinked‘cause he’s not here now and he changed one month and a half…. And I realize the person he hurt when we got married in front of that person but didn’t know it….. gave benefit of doubt
My soon to be ex is actively looking for someone to take him in. I feel great sorrow for the poor girl who gets him next...For Real!!
I think they believe they meet a great person, and believe being with that.person will fix them; fill that abyss of a hole where spirit should be, when they can't, because no one else can, they become angry.
Self-obsessed people rarely tend to themselves, it's why they seek such adulation.
It depends on the circumstances. My ex once told me that he talked to a female colleague because his boss at that time hated that colleague, and the boss wanted to have another relationship with him, but he didn't (she was too elder for him, according to him). So, he disgusted her by talking to the other female , making her jealous.
(I didn't realize that was a huge red flag when he passionately shared this story with me. )
My thoughts on this subject with my ex narc. It could go two ways. 1. He told me that he just wanted someone in his life to love him? 2. The lady before me stopped calling and blocked him. So, this might have or had not been a plan first the beginning. I don't know, but that's maybe my situation. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔. I am not making excuses for him. It's just my opinion. But that does not excuse.
Someone to treat you horribly.
And plan to deceive you from the beginning.
Hmmmmm..never saw it this way…my ex was mad that I didn’t want to have a baby ( for obvious reasons and more)… so he left me and got another girl pregnant only to come back and rub it in my face…wow…I’m learning so much
Is your ex initials A.B . !?? Cus I’m going through that now I’m pregnant and I feel like my partner is a narcissist
If you meet one you will never want to experience another person.They are true to themself and who they can comtrol.
Lee when I tell you I came out from the wilderness, ( 12 years of self isolation) I encountered a Narcissist ( didn't know and had NEVER met one). Married a year later. 8 months in, I was like what the heck is this? Needless to say I am filing for divorce ( non- cooperative husband🤬) and I am ready for self isolation again. I should have stayed in the wilderness 😂😂. Love bombing, devaluing and the discard cycle too many times. He cracked me up and asked me why I don't answer his calls or text. ..2 months later. I guess he missed me😂😂😂😂😂. I am grateful for the experience. I learned a lot and healed within the relationship. I thank God I spent those years in isolation. Yes , I am a spiritual empath and during this encounter, I went super nova on his a##. In my Keith Sweat voice🎶something, something just wasn't right🎶😂😂
I did this type of stuff when I was 10 years old
What happens when your daughter is the narcissist. She’s always the victim but us her parents have always been there for her but the abusive talk and nastiness has us keeping her at a distance. Now she is not talking to us and withholding her children from us. It’s a sad situation.
My ex def used me after the first 2 months he became malicious. I believe he loved me maybe for 20 minutes then POOF it was gone lol. Thx for the video Lee 🙏🏽💕
20 min lol… same
Im listening and learning thank you so much❤God bless you
If a narcissist is aware of their condition, can they control or cure it? You are so self aware…are you able to have healthy relationships now? Are you able to accept and give love?
Thank you!
Definitely a Grand Scheme from that Friday the 13th of my birth. Mom says i was so so different than my brother that i was raised differently as per my NEEDS...
TRULY B.S. & coincidentally my siblings initials.
They are Sadistically CATHOLIC to me & each think of the others as Christian. My famdamnlies Harmony come from their competition TO UPSTAGE EACHOTHER IN THEIR GOAL
to cause harm onto me, period!
Whatever it’s fake in the end and that’s all it was FAKE
Thank you for your videos, Lee.
My ex def did that in the beginning. I was his new supply because he chased a woman for 5yrs and she never gave him any or a chance. I was the dummy who did tho. And after I left with our kids he called her again trying to get some, sadly he’s still trying…😂🤷🏾♀️🥴
Of course they have a plan they r methodical creatures this is how they operate ....
Mine absolutely did. Knew him 10 years when we were both committed. Once he got divorced & found out I was newly single: game on. He knew I wanted 2 get married so he went that route, asked my dying dad 4 my hand. 3 years later he ghosts me 4 a younger trashier clone of me. I went instant no contact. It’s been 6 of the hardest months of my life. Coming 2 terms with the person I loved with all of my soul was never real. None of it was.
And he took my little dog child. Heartbroken
They are so convincing because THEY BELIEVE that they have just met the love of their life who will make them hay until the very end.They see the changes in themselves but they are sure it works that way and the changes are permanent.A lot of target who would for for a marriage scammer fall for a narcissist.
Exactly
“They just add on a few things.”🤣
lol
Hi Lee, are you able to recognize other Narcissists in the real world around you when you encounter them?
See...I don't think he "planned" to make me like him. I don't think it was his intention and I honestly think he was tryna save me from the narcissistic side of him because of something he said, but his ego and definitely his insecurities took over and he started in on me with the verbal abuse, external factors came into play too.
Every time when you describe yourself, it's like you're describing my narc. So I think I have the good one 😄
Yes what your saying about the begining of the relationship is ligit , but sooner or later the npd turns out of the blue 💙 it has to be consistent!
All I heard was: "They do like you". XD
Just kidding. It's just a part of the idealization, devalue, discard, hoover, etc. process.
Proud of you 👏🏾
All the narcs I've ever dealt with the big scheme is just simply successful manipulation and the resulting control they feel. And oddly, whatever it is that they're trying to manipulate you into giving or doing for them isn't the priority, yes its stuff they want but the real thrill is the success of a completed manipulation cycle, that target they were trying to get is just gravy. They also hate when you just decided on your own to do or give them stuff, if its not something they targeted to manipulate you to get they want nothing to do with it. I dated a narc that let that be known, I once brought him some homemade beef enchiladas and Mexican rice I had made, and I got this look like how dare you do this, not a thank you, just the unmistakable vibe to never do this again. Wow. Well, needless to say that relationship did not last. But I guess all narcs are not necessarily alike in their behaviors.
Yes.
Narcissists are not psychopaths. People with anti-social disorder plan from the beginning.
I agree with you
A grand fantasy
They can mot show love and will hurt you If you say you love them,the discard comes quickly
I was with one for 12 years. Very draining 😢
I was broken after 7 months with mine😳 have gone celibacy again for the third time! All good things are 3. maybe the next man I meet one day will be the one. I will be much more careful and going slow into it! And Im not chasing ANYTHING only attracting!
It sounds like ego problem
Lee people confuse LOVE with SEX ……love is always CARE ….care of the normal needs of a person ….
I have an honest question for you Lee. Are you getting a lot of supply from this channel?
Is it more about how it makes you feel more than helping people.
No judgment, I'm honestly curious
If it wasn’t a plan they were still being fake so 🤷🏽♂️
Be certain that one day prey will become your volture
Opportunity scheme. Smoke & MIRRORS strategy. To get her resources. Plan to use the good hearted girls. Yes girls. He needs a place to live free. He is a freeloader. Etc.
I believe it was all FAKE from the beginning 💔‼️. It was So Romantic ‼️ So Sexual ‼️ So Much ATTENTION ‼️ Till I felt like I was being Smothered ‼️
Thanks!
Welcome!
At this point I don't think it was genuine. After everything we talked about and the story from the beginning, I feel in my gut that he was planning a lot! I wasn't trusting before, I'm really not trusting now, this has torn a rip in thinking with relationships. He said it wasn't intentional but I dont believe him when he says good morning. He is the father of lies.
“I seened it!” 😂😂
My narc would say he loved movies I already said Id love and then not understand when Id make references or jokes lol. I think maybe Lee is a very mild narcissist, not full blown like the ones that enjoy others pain and misfortune and especially causing it just to cause it.
😞😞