I have no one. I don't even have a family. I just have a boyfriend. It's funny to me how those with an amazing family and friends always want a spouse, and make it their personal tragedy that they can't find a perfect fit. Try making a family from a scratch, when you are socially awkward.
if i had so called ‘friends’ (people i talk to so much and etc) i’d have like 13, but in reality, i only have 2. they arent even in my school, lol! i name people my friends or best friends to people who signify (to me) importance, trust, recent interaction, relatable and their own personality too!
1:32 I have always strived for this. However, reciprocation is hard to find. Every time I thought I found true solid friends, they've let me down in critical ways I would have never done them. One comes to realize that it's quite a feat to find people who value you as much as you value them, as most people just tend to have conflicting priorities that can easily push you out of their inner circle, and/or cause you to excuse yourself from a friendship that clearly is not as safe and solid as you thought it was.
I have learned that friends do not last, and that people can be cruel, so my faith in others has diminished as I got older. I prefer to be alone since I am a creative person with a High IQ and have plenty to do every day. Maybe I will get a dog. My old sweet cat died a couple months ago. She was good company. It is rare to find someone truly compatible, and I have found him and we are so very happy together, but he is not free to be with me full time as yet. I wait on the Lord to continue to provide for me.
This is very relatable. I too have faced a lot of disappointment in friendships where I have been there for people, have celebrated their successes and supported them in struggles, and overall been available for them. This has rarely been reciprocated. People have not valued me enough to even try and keep in touch. It is very hurtful and damaging to one’s self esteem. My strategy is to never expect anything from anyone and always act with no expectation of reciprocation. I have also found solace in spirituality and reading Vedic scriptures like Bhagvad Gita.
@Arcane_Cypher It's just a kind gesture, from my side Not everybody feels stimulated enough to watch videos or pictures or has the time and some might want to watch specific parts and not others.
@Arcane_Cypher It's no problem. You can share your issues with me and I can give you advice. Please do watch Psych2go videos related to mental health and I encourage you to reach out to a professional if this issue gets out of hand, dear :)
I mean, i have no friends, in real life, but i have few friends in internet. but i definitely know how i wisely choose my friends, i don't choose bad people, i choose good and kind people. Im very looking forward to my future though. It's very relatable, for me actually. some of my classmates actually left my school just because they had no friends and no one was happy for that "classmate", it's actually sad to see them go though, but oh well Im not changing schools, its late now, It feels a relief to see this video, thank you.
I'm 78 and I'm a very creative person. I sew, play a Dulcimer by ear and compose music sometimes, make greeting cards and write poetry and short stories. I don't know a lot of people who have creative interests. I'm also an only child. No social life to brag about. So, I keep busy with my interests and I like being outside and enjoying the birds and squirrels. I really don't like a crowd of people around me because it's hard to get to speak to everyone. I enjoy a good conversation. I consider myself an interesting person to be with. I've been told that I am good company. So, where is everyone????
@@dianamoore2241"I don't know a lot of people who have creative interests." Me too... "I consider myself an interesting person to be with." Apparently, that doesn't help you get friends, even when people around think you're interesting as well... "I enjoy a good conversation." Yeah? Like what?
I often feel a little guilty when I meet up with acquaintances or newer friends and have that realization that they do not process information to the same degree or in the same way that I do, its not that I see them as lesser its just that I know we won't be able to converse meaningfully in the ways that I enjoy most and so it makes it much harder to invest in those relationships, they just feel less reciprocal.
I have had few friends as well, but for me I don't think it's because of intelligence (In fact I consider myself pretty dumb), but due to my preference being an introvert, and my social anxiety. Of course, some intelligent people like to keep to themselves and focus on what they're passionate about, but I also believe there are others who are smart and also outgoing while having a lot of friends; not both being mutually exclusive.
Let me just say this. People who are truly smart may appear friendly, but they understand that most people are not good people. They only make it appear as if they get along well to everyone, but that can only a facade. That is what we think they are, because that is how they appear. Smart people are not naive
The reason why intelligent people have less friends is because they can detect bs very easily. They realize that its not their job to please everyone. I will repeat this. Most people aren't good people. They are NPCs driven by Earthly things and material greed. Impulsive and instinctive, like wild animals. Intelligent people understand this basic fact. They can blend in but never associate themselves with such behaviors and ways of thinking. They don't even need many people to help them, because intelligent people value and exercise independence. Independence from dumbasses. It can be as or not simply as shallow as being introverted or extroverted. If you realize this fact and realize that this is the way you think, you might as well be more intelligent than you think
Every point listed in this video speaks to me. From high school to university I’ve never been able to make a solid friend, and all the ones I could’ve had went off to different schools or to dance at 21+ clubs. All I have is my one bestie and a few casual friends. I feel like I’m the only one who sucks at relating to whatever is being said in a group because my interests are, according to others, “mature” compared to those around me. I’m an inwards person. I don’t care about trends. I’m too “high-functioning”. But after watching this, I don’t want to keep on trying to be someone I’m not to fit in with the crowd. I’m perfectly satisfied with my interests, whether there’s anybody else in this world who shares them or not. That’s my takeaway, at least.
Very relatable. I can say I'm relatively smart and I have 6 nice friends, including 2 close ones. All the points in the video are correct and it's nice to feel so understood!
People I hang Out with, Share Hobbies=People I know, literally can be every stranger. Friends=someone WHO Tries to Dive deep and Sticks with you through Depression, Anger, sadness, makes time If you need them->Only Family, Sister and gay Brother did this, so them I call Friends. Soulmates=Someone who Tries to Dive deep and understand your Heart and Soul and Sticks with your through darkness and Light. ... Well so Most I know many Strangers, or people I know.
Same! They're the same six people I've been friends with for three years, and although we're not always together all seven of us I always feel comfortable. they're my best people in the world, and the most creative, inspiring, loving, caring, and knowledgeable people. We're all girls and five of us actually met Because of a gathering our parents had, and actually, our parents are the best of friends as well. So yeah, I guess thanks to our parents we are so close and met eachother. The other two are from school and they're very close to us as well.
Yeeah, learned that the older I've gotten that not many people who I thought were my friends were really my friends. Some only pretend to get something out of you, then disregard you when they get it from you. Some only want to be your friend if they think you have something they want, but when you don't have it, they try to bring you down to their level of self esteem instead of working on their underlying issues. Some just want something to talk about/gossip about because they are bored with their lives. It's difficult to find true friends honestly.
I feel like this video is speaking to my soul. I'm literally struggling with this rn because I feel like I don't have a lot of friends and acquaintances like people around me. The transition to university was quite hard on me because all 3 of my best friends went to different universities. I only ever have them they're the only people I actually feel comfortable around. I did make friends in uni but I'm really just not close with them and I don't feel that much connection with them at all. I feel like my social circle is actually quite small and I sometimes feel guilty because my parents and relatives always encourage me to be more social. I just don't know what to do anymore
Have you tried joining any clubs or groups related to your interests at university? Sometimes shared passions can be a great foundation for meaningful connections.
@@Psych2go I've thought about it but never really had the courage to do it. I'm in a very demanding major (dentistry) and I don't have alot of spare time on my hands and the free time I already have I prefer to just leave uni right after and go home spend it with my family or watch/read smth I enjoy. I feel like doing this just stops me from relying on new people and sometimes inevitably get hurt when they decide you're not good enough for them 😕
@@malaksayed2457 I had a similar mindset in college. I was in a demanding major so any free time I had was spent alone or with my one friend I made in college. I was in a club for my major, but I hardly knew any of the members. I don't regret the time I spent there, but I do wish I had tried to make more friends and do more activities. Now that I'm out of school and in a new town on my own, I find it difficult to make friends. I've been here 1.5 years and I haven't made a real friend. I guess I'm out of practice. I've been trying to do things to meet people on the weekends now. Try to make friends while you're still in college. It'll make it easier when you're an adult. It's much harder then.
Timestamps 1). Quality over quantity 0:51 2). Emotional depth and trust 1:32 3). Intellectual compatibility 2:14 4). Privacy and introspection 3:06 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Never wanted to have too many friends. That would mean more commitment, and I don't have a lot of energy to do so. I have always liked to have a few people, settle, and spend quality time with those people. Once I feel satisfied enough, I am not someone that needs to socialize with other people for friendship.
This actually eased my worries about not being social enough, especially since I began my freshman year in college. I've always been very picky about the people I hung around with since preschool. I thought I had few friends because no one wanted to be my friend in the first place, but these videos have helped me understand that my brain knew what it was dong all along. Thank you, Psych2Go! 💚
My IQ has been tested multiple times and I had invites to Mensa. I believe intellect has a lot of trade-offs. My dad and grandfather are where I inherited this. They had no friends. People found it hard to relate to someone so alien. I have no friends and no family. I want friends but I like being alone so much. I don't know how to strike a balance. Plus people tend to get frustrated with how my brain works and doesnt make sense to them. I have not talked to anyone aside from my dog (lol) in over 6 months.
The issues I run into is it takes so muhc time and effort to vet someone to the point where I consider them a close friend. First there's the "Are you a bad person?" test. Do you care about social issues? Do you want to know which sources of information are unreliable? Do you want to BE right or just be told you're right? After that, is the maturity test. Do you constantly analyze yourself to see if you're in the wrong or are there things you can improve on? Do you do the same to others? Do you even care if your friends are bad people? Do you ever ask yourself "Why did I do that?" Are you willing to go against the crowd? Then there's the "intelligence test" which is a simple "Does this person care about my thoughts and ideas or are they only interested in basic conversation?" If you don't want to hear about my ideas and discuss everything around us, then I feel like I have to restrain this part of me and I don't want to filter what I say for things that you'll find interesting, I want to let my curiosity flow like a faucit. I don't want to just be content with the world around me, I want to understand it. Why would I be happy with just existing when I have the power to create actual change? I love reading about the world but that does take time. It's way more fun to hear about a subject from someone else who cares about it then to just read. I don't care enough about utencils to read about their history and evolution but I'll gladly listen to you about it. After all that, it's how do we do socially? Are you emotionally fragile or can I be comfortable giving you criticism? Are you one of those people that thinks poking people's insecurites and anxieties is funny? After all of this, I have to also hope that life doesn't push us in different directions. It's exhausting. Life is easier when you only have a few close friends. I also find that the typical spoken language makes communicating my ideas painfully slow and I don't want to reiterate them all to someone who doesn't care or understand. I don't feel like spending time with people makes me less happy, I just get drained dealing with people's bs. I don't get drained when hanging out with my close friends but having to pump the breaksf or the kinds of people that shrug at 90% of what you say, isn't enjoyable.
If someone is expected to think about all of this in order to get a single friend it's no wonder I don't have any and it will be less and less likely that I will have any the more time goes on.
@@toretronio9030 No one's expecting you to think of any of these questions in order for you to get a friend (most people aren't even thinking of these questions to begin with). This is just the vetting process that a lot of intelligent people use to determine who they should be close friends with. In general, someone who is smart, is mature enough to handle criticism, has values/is a good person, and cares about discussing life and other ideas. If you want a friend that has different qualities, that's entirely up to you (they're pretty high standards, so it is harder to find friends like this). But you can have work friends, acquaintances or non-close friends, as well. It's possible to adapt and become friends with different kinds of people if both parties are respectful of each other and their beliefs (for example, if they're a devout Christian and you're an athiest, you can elect to not talk about it if you enjoy spending time with them otherwise. No matter what, you're going to disagree with everyone on at least one thing. It's like not talking about politics or religion at the dinner table). Also, make sure you're going places where you can find friends. Most people become friends because of common interests, so joining a class, a club or exercise group can help!
@@TimM-kz1vl You're wise to do that... but even 90% compatible friendships still manage to utterly fall through, somehow, so I'm not even sure... is it worth the hassle.
I had a friend group of around 8 people. The thing is their was always some sort termoil then i got into a conflict with 1 of them and i basically got left out. Now i have a new “group” of just 3 including me but they are close friends of mine. Closer than my previous group has ever been. For now i dont want a bigger group
Friendship dynamics can vary, and finding what works best for you in terms of support and understanding is crucial. How has the shift to a smaller, closer group positively impacted your overall well-being?
I’m finally able to be myself because I have an SO that will love me no matter what and friends that have my back. My old work place was so bad, it felt like employees could only rely on each other. I was ready to get in an actual fight to keep one of my coworkers safe. Just about the whole store (employee wise and for a while, probably different now) would turn on someone that hurt one of our coworkers, as she’s so sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. She’s been spayed in the face (she’s deaf so can’t hear) and hit by cars in the parking lot despite wearing the designated safety vest. Don’t start none, won’t be none is a motto I’ve adopted from my SO
The biggest problem that I have when it comes to friendship is initiating contact with them. I have autism and I feel too nervous to communicate with other people, believing that I may be interrupting them in the middle of something important. I wish I knew how to fix this because I would really like to hang out with those I know I can get along with.
I'm not autistic myself, but I have a close autistic friend. I'd say building a strong sense of understanding between how you both feel in these circumstances is most important. The foundation of understanding can help ease anxiety around initiating conversation as one will understand your desire to initiate while you'll come to understand that a friend who values you will be happy to see you make that first contact or will make the time (then or later) if they happen to be doing something at the moment and will communicate that. Having a consistent routine when it comes to communicating with friends of course can help as well so that might be a conversation that could help your friendships grow.
I have to always remind myself it’s okay to be myself. But the self critical part of myself always puts myself down for being overwhelming to my friends, for being too much, I’m annoying them, etc. no matter how much therapy I do, I still struggle with this. How can I stop this overthinking? How do I believe that my friends do truly care for me and stop feeling so insecure and afraid that it’s all a lie?
I think you're being too hard on yourself. To me, it seems like you are overly worried that you're annoying them, but if they haven't told you you're being annoying, then how do you really know? And how will you know that you're annoying them less now, if you aren't aware of how annoyed they were in the first place? Since they're already your friends, they were likely attracted to your personality and could even think this new version is less lively or more boring. You really don't know until you ask. Just talk to them individually and say something along the lines of, "I've been feeling like my personality can be too much for a lot of people lately, so I've been trying to tone it down in case I've been starting to annoy you. I'm open to hearing criticism because I don't want it to affect our friendship." If they truly are your friends and care about you, they should be supportive and understanding. As for the overthinking, try to ponder both sides in every situation and debate yourself, and ask yourself if you can disprove your thoughts in any way. Like when you think, "I feel like I'm annoying my friends" you could think, "well, I haven't talked to them about it, so how do I KNOW that I'm being annoying?" This method helped me stop being a hypochondriac. If that doesn't work, try to view yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you and try to think of yourself how they would think of you. Also, ask your therapist about CBT, it's a useful form of therapy that can get you to see yourself and life in a more positive light.
I have the same two best friends since high school. That is it. I'm very close to those two. So, I guess I'm smart according to this video. 😂😂😂❤ Since high school, I spend lots of time researching communication and other topics that require that extra brain power. As an adult, I don't find people that I can have that conversation with. I'm grateful for my two friends. They might not be super interested like me, but they can talk with me about it openly and have a conversation.
I am certainly an exception to this. See, my family is huge and close- knit, and probably 90-100% of us are smart. I have always been an introvert, though I learned early on that isolating at family gatherings (typically 20-50 people, though the large ones can be 300 people or more) is just rude. After a life- changing car crash at age 15, when I realized how many THOUSANDS of people were actively praying for my well-being, I decided it was appropriate to give something back, so I stopped isolating when I could. Lo and behold, I truly do like most people! Sometimes, I do need to hide out from the world and recharge my batteries, though I really do value each and every person that I consider a friend. And there are a lot of them! My current partner is an extrovert, and he has helped me learn ways to micro-isolate, and introduced me to dozens of people that I now consider good friends. It's a beautiful world and I'm glad to poke my head out of my shell to experience it more, and I'm glad he respects my need to pull my exposed parts back into the shell sometimes.
This resonates with me deeply. As an individual with a keen intellect, my social circle is intentionally small, consisting of just five friends, two of whom hold a particularly close and cherished place in my life. The insights shared by your team align perfectly with my own experiences, and I appreciate gaining a deeper understanding of this reality. Thanks!
I only make friends that has same interest as me, I always felt outcast with my own classmates through high school and college, but the last quote make me feel Happy.
It scares me how much I relate to this. I’m not necessarily Einstein, but I do have photographic memory. I also have a mental disorder, ADHD (but with mainly Attentive Disorder), so I’m not so sure which one is the main reason.
It seems like several people are upset at the change in narrator. I do like Amanda’s voice, but I found this man’s voice to be extremely pleasing as well. 😊
I honestly feel weird, because this describes me, but at the same time it's weird having someone saying I'm smart haha. Also because I've always seen the fact I have few friends as my trauma reaction, I had toxic people around me and I didn't want anymore, so I became careful so I wouldn't have my feelings destroyed again
its kinda nice hearing this. it has been a whole day of self hatred and the feeling of inferiority, that i am not good enough, and i am a burden to everyone, and that’s why everyone leaves me. but im not the only one like that. i feel seen, in a way. it’s okay not having friends, it’s okay being alone. lmao sorry for the vent
I don’t have any friends, I have always been brutally honest and expect the same back. Most people seem to like to be told a good lie rather than a hard truth. I will never undermine my values just to have “friends”.
"I will never undermine my values just to have “friends”. _True_ friends aren't supposed to require you to undermine your values, but share them and support you in them instead. Otherwise, what's there to make them friends?
Just 2 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me, for valid reasons, I’ve been improving myself on them, but I fear that as time goes on she falls more and more out of love, how would I stop her from falling out of love, or if she already has, be able to get her to fall back in love? I don’t want to do ANYTHING manipulative, I just want to somehow recreate what originally made her fall in love with me. And if she doesn’t end up loving me again, how would I move on? This was my first relationship so I don’t know how I could move on.
I dont know if this may help you but you have to let her go. It's going to hurt a lot now, but in a few weeks, you'll fe better! There are plenty of women out there who may want to be in a relationship with you. And to move on, maybe look up some tips on how to handle a break up! And just taking some time to mourn the relationship is vital!
I can relate to many points of this video specially because I'm a introverted person who have struggled to make friends my entire life. However, I'm not sorrowful for that, in fact I'm very satisfied with my few friends since I know I can always rely on them.
This is so relatable to me, I was kinda jealous how the ‘popular’ group is alw fun, I wished I was like them sometimes. Well ig I stopped caring abt that after a while after I realized the worth of my few friends rn, they’re the best!
that is very interesting, that intelligent means feeling less happy around others, I am learning in my 30s that it is ok to be mostly by myself, I enjoy my alonetime, I also get lonely and I do have people I can relate to but I prefer my solitude where I can be creative and relax.
You can have many friends that you like & love & sometimes have different intrests to share with different people . When you need private time just go for as there is no need to apologize for who you & your needs are . Pschology with all due tespect is not an exact sciense ( as for instance Math or Phisics ) . Thank you very much .
I got 3 very close friends if you don't count my younger brother whom I'm Very close with . I've been friends with my closest friend since 2nd grade in school when I was 9 years old . I'm 34 now. the other 2 very close friends are my brothers wife and this friends wife who I've got to know over the past 10 years and found out that we get along very well. I've had other friends who sadly changed along the way , a friend whom I knew since middle school (when I was 12) I talk to only once every few months . he blamed me for something that didn't happen and then tried to take revenge (which I found out , this was when we were 25 years old ) without talking to me first. which broke my trust and I've never been able to forgive him , even though I understand he was not ok at the time and even though I saw how he was trying to fix everything for a long time. this video made me reminisce about a lot of things , and remember things I didn't want to . feelings caught up to me so I felt like sharing this here.
I couldn’t agree more with this video. I like to keep my circle small and I have at least 5 genuine friends. Those are ones that I can always talk to and have my back.
Hey Psych2Go team, I was wondering if you guys could potentially do a video about escapism. I’ve recently had some really traumatic difficulties going on in my life and I’m currently sensing that my mind and mentality is almost trying to escape somehow in some way. Like I keep telling myself in some form over and over again “I wish this, I wish that”, etc. you don’t have to do a video about this but I figured it was worth suggesting.
I've never felt close enough to anyone in my friend groups and I generally only keep them aslong as I'm a particular work environment, when I move on I cut them out of my life and make new ones where I go next, I dont know why I do this especially as I know that in all my years there have been some I really valued and appreciated, I dont feel its because I don't care, but I do somehow manage to convince myself that none of them actually really care about me, it's leading to a pretty lonely life at this point, I guess I don't really feel I have any value why would they care.
people always said i'm quite smart, so quality over quantity has always been really relatable for me. i really want just a few close friends, but people in my friend group which i consider close friends keep wanting to meet new friends and kept telling me to meet new people, so sometimes i feel a little out of place. another reason why i don't want to meet too many new people is because i'm afraid of accidentally replacing current friends and hurting them, yet it seems like my friends don't really care as much as i do which does make me worry. but now, i know i don't have to change what i do and when i choose to meet new friends. i really agreed w/ the video, thanks psych2go :)
idk if i’m being delusional but i feel like my life was better when i only had 3 friends. I moved schools and became more social but now i feel less productive and less happy?? they’re actually more like acquaintances, i don’t always talk to all my friends. I’m not saying that my friends are bringing me down but i feel lonelier, since i’m not actually close with most of my friends
This is how I feel in college right now, lots of people I talk to and meet, but most of them are just acquaintances and do not really feel close to them.
I only have very few friends because of having multiple disabilities. I’m not even sure if I’m highly intelligent or not because of having very limited friends.
It’s been weeks since I avoided one of my friends..I have no idea why. Everytime I see them I run away. I don’t even reply to any of their messages..something in me just doesn’t wanna be around them
What if you only have a few acquaintances but no real friends. And now that I'm 46 disabled and no longer able to work. Making any will be extremely difficult if not impossible. Looks like its a lonely isolated life for me from now on.
I don’t get out much either, but I am in three different kinds of groups that meet once a week on zoom, and it’s a lifesaver! Find whatever you’re interested in and look it up online. There are sure to be others who are also interested and I find it easier to meet that way. I don’t have to leave the house and I can attend or not attend. It’s wonderful. And it makes my life less lonely.
I like how his disclaimer in the beginning was that the list wasn't a be all and end all, yet he managed to hit every single nail on the head about me. All I'm saying is that it looks pretty be all and end all to me 😅
i care about all these things, and i do have those type of friend groups, but that doesn’t mean i’m lonely. i choose who i know will stick with me and which friends or groups i will put more effort i js dont shove away others
I feel like this is all also relatable and relevant to people with high masking/ late diagnosed autism and/or ADHD. Or perhaps it's just because neurodivergent peeps are also predominantly intelligent. They just think differently and solve problems differently.
Ever since I was a child I dint not have any friends tho I used to love my sollitude but later on I had only 3 or 2 friends . They are just mere reflection of my emotions and they are always postiive tho... I trust them
I spend most of my time alone alone as in a room by my self when people see what I can do it Scares! the HELL!! out of them OK! when people see what I can do it SCARES them when I focus my mind and look at you I will know what you are thinking i stay alone
For me I’ve always been like that it happens when you have high functioning autism like young Sheldon dose but it’s just better that way so it’s less likely for your only few friends to leave you.
I find myself relating to all of these, which is interesting :) I think coming from my own experience, I've found that finding those few friends can be very hard, and you may find that a lot of people you get along well with will come and go throughout your life before you find the few that stick by you, as described in the video. That's not to say that they're not there, but an important lesson I've had to learn is that it's absolutely okay to let go of people when you drift apart or they don't serve your needs anymore (though I still like to give people chances first). Just something to consider. To be fair, I'm only 20 and still figuring myself and my life out so I'm not a sage when it comes to this stuff but this lesson has helped me towards letting go of past events where friendships didn't end well.
Find something you’re interested in and join a group. You can do it in person or online. If you’re healthy and you have enough time, volunteer for something. That’s a great way to meet people! I hope you find some friends. 💕
Could also just be Autism, until I discovered I was, I often wondered why I preferred my alone time and had very few (okay, pretty much no) friends, once I did a deep-dive into learning about autism, all the lights lit up and made me realise that I was autistic, and this video describes every bit of being autistic without actually mentioning it, intelligence, insight, weak social batteries, more energised by our interests than social gatherings, yep, autism...
when I was younger my parents told me the reason I can’t make friends was because of my iq, but 10 years later I learned this “iq test” they kept referring to was actually an autism test that I passed with flying colors lmao (to be clear autism is not synonymous with iq, I am not a genius at anything. You should’ve seen me trying to remember how to make ramen earlier)
i find it pathetic of myself that i only have 1 friend when everyone else has many friends. i wish i was better at socialization so i could make and keep more friends. being on the autistic spectrum doesnt help with making and keeping friends in addition i am an introvert and have social anxiety so its literally impossible for me to make new friends and keep them.
I feel like that and I don't have many close friends to who I can talk about a lot of things, I mean, I really enjoy connecting and talking to new people and get to know about them and their world, but having close friends, like, I would consider just one, that's been my friend since high school and we were neighbors, and also another friend that I met at theatre classes I took, and he's so much like me 😂😂😂 I don't feel . I do feel very lonely and feel like most of the subjects I want to talk about with people don't get their attention. I really like questioning everything and theorizing and learning new stuf, but I can't really have a real talk with everyone. I want to start psychology at university next year and I'll be honest: one of the major reasons for me to want to study psychology is that I'm really expecting getting to know people who I can talk with, like, deep conversation, people that make the same questions as I do about the world and my reality. I feel like I need to do this cause that will change my life and how I view life and people. I feel very very alone regarding when it comes to my morals, sometimes I feel stupid and too much idealistic about the world and even my mom says that I need to stop being like that and that the world is not a fairy tale, that I dream too much .. I know that going to psychology college will make me meet and get in touch with people that are more like me and then I wont feel so weird about wanting to change the world around me for the best. I have this feeling of non belonging, not being part of something that really resonates with who I am. I'm glad I went to theatre course cause there I met one of the best friends I have, he understands me, he says he loves to listen to me talking and we spend hours and hours talking about many subjects that interests us, It feels so awesome to be understood and not judged and actually feel appreciated for being who I am, I don't feel like that with many people. You know when someone simply gets who you are??? That's amazing to me cause it's really rare. If you read this, wish me luck on psychology graduation. Thanks! 😅😂😊❤
+Psych2GoTv *As an autist whom the school systems o' the 1970's, '80's and '90's failed due to immature resources* (mind you, Gutstein, Sheely & Associates PC, Houston, TX, USA, hadn't patented the Relationship Development Intervention Program until 2000, when I's almost a decade out o' school), *I had **_very_** shallow social involvements and, without immediate family, no friends per se.* Thanks for the rationales anyways: 0:50 *1. Quality Over Quantity:* As of November 2023 I hadn't contacts of quality, therefore no deep relations. 1:32 *2. Emotional Depth and Trust:* Due to unconscious emotional blocks that derailed growth-seeking at mid-infancy, I never developed a sense of/for emotional safety, a MAJOR prerequisite for trust. 2:14 *3. Intellectual Compatibility:* Not a factor, as I've a general agnosis on relational fundamentals. 3:06 *4. Privacy and Introspection:* Have yet to learn 'em.
I don't know if I'm smart but I have a few very close friends whom I see meanwhile more as family than "just" as friends 😊 I like to have meaningful conversations, smalltalk is nothing for me and what other people might define as "friends" I would define just as "acquaintances" 🤔
I've never considered myself intelligent. I think people give me FAR too much credit, but they always tell me how smart I am even though to me, the knowledge I have on various subjects feels very surface level. I tend to lose people when I share something I'm really into. I don't want to come off as arrogant, but I tend to use more "advanced" words and having to be a dictionary or thesaurus mid conversation is kind of frustrating. It's not just some nebulous attempt at sounding more intelligent. I feel basic language can't convey what I'm thinking sometimes. I don't know if others here have a similar experience, but that's mine.
I know I rlly don’t have much friends, I definitely take the quality over quantity saying seriously and make sure to make the current friendships I have rn good and lasting for the future later on.
How many friends do you truly have?
i barely have 1 or 2 whom I am confident of, but not sure if they consider me too 😭
I have no one. I don't even have a family. I just have a boyfriend. It's funny to me how those with an amazing family and friends always want a spouse, and make it their personal tragedy that they can't find a perfect fit. Try making a family from a scratch, when you are socially awkward.
if i had so called ‘friends’ (people i talk to so much and etc) i’d have like 13, but in reality, i only have 2. they arent even in my school, lol! i name people my friends or best friends to people who signify (to me) importance, trust, recent interaction, relatable and their own personality too!
0 lol
3
1:32
I have always strived for this. However, reciprocation is hard to find. Every time I thought I found true solid friends, they've let me down in critical ways I would have never done them. One comes to realize that it's quite a feat to find people who value you as much as you value them, as most people just tend to have conflicting priorities that can easily push you out of their inner circle, and/or cause you to excuse yourself from a friendship that clearly is not as safe and solid as you thought it was.
This. ALL of this. It's heartbreaking.
I have learned that friends do not last, and that people can be cruel, so my faith in others has diminished as I got older. I prefer to be alone since I am a creative person with a High IQ and have plenty to do every day. Maybe I will get a dog. My old sweet cat died a couple months ago. She was good company. It is rare to find someone truly compatible, and I have found him and we are so very happy together, but he is not free to be with me full time as yet. I wait on the Lord to continue to provide for me.
@@Napalm_Candy So sorry that you can relate so vividly.
@@artistchristos Stick with cats, their affection is one of the perfect examples of quality over quantity.
This is very relatable. I too have faced a lot of disappointment in friendships where I have been there for people, have celebrated their successes and supported them in struggles, and overall been available for them. This has rarely been reciprocated. People have not valued me enough to even try and keep in touch. It is very hurtful and damaging to one’s self esteem. My strategy is to never expect anything from anyone and always act with no expectation of reciprocation. I have also found solace in spirituality and reading Vedic scriptures like Bhagvad Gita.
TIMESTAMPS FOR THE VIDEO
0:51 QUALITY OVER QUANTITY
1:31 EMOTIONAL DEPTH AND TRUST
02:16 INTELLECTUAL COMPATABILITY
03:05 PRIVACY AND INTROSPECTION
@Arcane_Cypher It's just a kind gesture, from my side Not everybody feels stimulated enough to watch videos or pictures or has the time and some might want to watch specific parts and not others.
@Arcane_Cypher It's no problem. You can share your issues with me and I can give you advice. Please do watch Psych2go videos related to mental health and I encourage you to reach out to a professional if this issue gets out of hand, dear :)
@Arcane_Cypher Human Rights Supporter
that's "...compatibility" btw. ty for the timestamps. It allows me to reference these videos when I watch them again to find stuff easier
@@laylahame thank you for the correction
I mean, i have no friends, in real life, but i have few friends in internet. but i definitely know how i wisely choose my friends, i don't choose bad people, i choose good and kind people.
Im very looking forward to my future though. It's very relatable, for me actually. some of my classmates actually left my school just because they had no friends and no one was happy for that "classmate", it's actually sad to see them go though, but oh well Im not changing schools, its late now, It feels a relief to see this video, thank you.
I also sometimes think that all my smart friends are just Close friends. But I'm also happy that Psych2go told me this. Thank you!
You're welcome 😊
I'm 78 and I'm a very creative person. I sew, play a Dulcimer by ear and compose music sometimes, make greeting cards and write poetry and short stories. I don't know a lot of people who have creative interests. I'm also an only child. No social life to brag about. So, I keep busy with my interests and I like being outside and enjoying the birds and squirrels. I really don't like a crowd of people around me because it's hard to get to speak to everyone. I enjoy a good conversation. I consider myself an interesting person to be with. I've been told that I am good company. So, where is everyone????
@@dianamoore2241"I don't know a lot of people who have creative interests." Me too... "I consider myself an interesting person to be with." Apparently, that doesn't help you get friends, even when people around think you're interesting as well... "I enjoy a good conversation." Yeah? Like what?
My older sister always had a rotating door of so-called friends. Based on her examples, I’d rather have a smaller but more dependable circle.
Do you agree with this video? If not, please share your thoughts.
yes
@@STARSEED04why is your narrator different now?
Yes but why voice change? Why use AI? Are you okay?
I agree with the video itself, but I disagree with ending it in the middle of a sentence.
@@cisestarEach Psych2go video has a different Narrator, either Amanda Silvera or Brandon. I honestly like both!
I often feel a little guilty when I meet up with acquaintances or newer friends and have that realization that they do not process information to the same degree or in the same way that I do, its not that I see them as lesser its just that I know we won't be able to converse meaningfully in the ways that I enjoy most and so it makes it much harder to invest in those relationships, they just feel less reciprocal.
I have had few friends as well, but for me I don't think it's because of intelligence (In fact I consider myself pretty dumb), but due to my preference being an introvert, and my social anxiety. Of course, some intelligent people like to keep to themselves and focus on what they're passionate about, but I also believe there are others who are smart and also outgoing while having a lot of friends; not both being mutually exclusive.
You don't sound "pretty dumb" to me based on how you write.
Let me just say this. People who are truly smart may appear friendly, but they understand that most people are not good people. They only make it appear as if they get along well to everyone, but that can only a facade. That is what we think they are, because that is how they appear. Smart people are not naive
The reason why intelligent people have less friends is because they can detect bs very easily. They realize that its not their job to please everyone. I will repeat this. Most people aren't good people. They are NPCs driven by Earthly things and material greed. Impulsive and instinctive, like wild animals. Intelligent people understand this basic fact. They can blend in but never associate themselves with such behaviors and ways of thinking.
They don't even need many people to help them, because intelligent people value and exercise independence. Independence from dumbasses. It can be as or not simply as shallow as being introverted or extroverted. If you realize this fact and realize that this is the way you think, you might as well be more intelligent than you think
Every point listed in this video speaks to me. From high school to university I’ve never been able to make a solid friend, and all the ones I could’ve had went off to different schools or to dance at 21+ clubs. All I have is my one bestie and a few casual friends. I feel like I’m the only one who sucks at relating to whatever is being said in a group because my interests are, according to others, “mature” compared to those around me. I’m an inwards person. I don’t care about trends. I’m too “high-functioning”. But after watching this, I don’t want to keep on trying to be someone I’m not to fit in with the crowd. I’m perfectly satisfied with my interests, whether there’s anybody else in this world who shares them or not. That’s my takeaway, at least.
Very relatable. I can say I'm relatively smart and I have 6 nice friends, including 2 close ones. All the points in the video are correct and it's nice to feel so understood!
People I hang Out with, Share Hobbies=People I know, literally can be every stranger. Friends=someone WHO Tries to Dive deep and Sticks with you through Depression, Anger, sadness, makes time If you need them->Only Family, Sister and gay Brother did this, so them I call Friends. Soulmates=Someone who Tries to Dive deep and understand your Heart and Soul and Sticks with your through darkness and Light. ... Well so Most I know many Strangers, or people I know.
Same! They're the same six people I've been friends with for three years, and although we're not always together all seven of us I always feel comfortable. they're my best people in the world, and the most creative, inspiring, loving, caring, and knowledgeable people. We're all girls and five of us actually met Because of a gathering our parents had, and actually, our parents are the best of friends as well. So yeah, I guess thanks to our parents we are so close and met eachother. The other two are from school and they're very close to us as well.
I don’t have few friends, I have absolutely zero friends. No one to talk to when I’m sad, happy, upset, excited, no one.
Ur not alone(╥﹏╥)
Same why just why 😭
You like, wanna talk to someone pal? (Same with you two in the replies...)
@@CataclysmicVortexx What _for?_ Talking to people usually only gets you ridiculed...
@@SuperVladdrakula Not really... Not sure where you got that experience from, but that's not how it normally goes
Yeeah, learned that the older I've gotten that not many people who I thought were my friends were really my friends. Some only pretend to get something out of you, then disregard you when they get it from you. Some only want to be your friend if they think you have something they want, but when you don't have it, they try to bring you down to their level of self esteem instead of working on their underlying issues. Some just want something to talk about/gossip about because they are bored with their lives. It's difficult to find true friends honestly.
I feel like this video is speaking to my soul. I'm literally struggling with this rn because I feel like I don't have a lot of friends and acquaintances like people around me. The transition to university was quite hard on me because all 3 of my best friends went to different universities. I only ever have them they're the only people I actually feel comfortable around. I did make friends in uni but I'm really just not close with them and I don't feel that much connection with them at all. I feel like my social circle is actually quite small and I sometimes feel guilty because my parents and relatives always encourage me to be more social. I just don't know what to do anymore
I think you doing great love ! Do what makes you happy and always listen to your heart ❤️ good luck 🤞
@@Truth-kw1qz tysm!! I'm working on it!!
Have you tried joining any clubs or groups related to your interests at university? Sometimes shared passions can be a great foundation for meaningful connections.
@@Psych2go I've thought about it but never really had the courage to do it. I'm in a very demanding major (dentistry) and I don't have alot of spare time on my hands and the free time I already have I prefer to just leave uni right after and go home spend it with my family or watch/read smth I enjoy. I feel like doing this just stops me from relying on new people and sometimes inevitably get hurt when they decide you're not good enough for them 😕
@@malaksayed2457 I had a similar mindset in college. I was in a demanding major so any free time I had was spent alone or with my one friend I made in college. I was in a club for my major, but I hardly knew any of the members. I don't regret the time I spent there, but I do wish I had tried to make more friends and do more activities. Now that I'm out of school and in a new town on my own, I find it difficult to make friends. I've been here 1.5 years and I haven't made a real friend. I guess I'm out of practice. I've been trying to do things to meet people on the weekends now. Try to make friends while you're still in college. It'll make it easier when you're an adult. It's much harder then.
Timestamps
1). Quality over quantity 0:51
2). Emotional depth and trust 1:32
3). Intellectual compatibility 2:14
4). Privacy and introspection 3:06
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Never wanted to have too many friends. That would mean more commitment, and I don't have a lot of energy to do so. I have always liked to have a few people, settle, and spend quality time with those people. Once I feel satisfied enough, I am not someone that needs to socialize with other people for friendship.
This actually eased my worries about not being social enough, especially since I began my freshman year in college. I've always been very picky about the people I hung around with since preschool. I thought I had few friends because no one wanted to be my friend in the first place, but these videos have helped me understand that my brain knew what it was dong all along. Thank you, Psych2Go! 💚
My IQ has been tested multiple times and I had invites to Mensa. I believe intellect has a lot of trade-offs. My dad and grandfather are where I inherited this. They had no friends. People found it hard to relate to someone so alien. I have no friends and no family. I want friends but I like being alone so much. I don't know how to strike a balance. Plus people tend to get frustrated with how my brain works and doesnt make sense to them.
I have not talked to anyone aside from my dog (lol) in over 6 months.
The issues I run into is it takes so muhc time and effort to vet someone to the point where I consider them a close friend. First there's the "Are you a bad person?" test. Do you care about social issues? Do you want to know which sources of information are unreliable? Do you want to BE right or just be told you're right? After that, is the maturity test. Do you constantly analyze yourself to see if you're in the wrong or are there things you can improve on? Do you do the same to others? Do you even care if your friends are bad people? Do you ever ask yourself "Why did I do that?" Are you willing to go against the crowd? Then there's the "intelligence test" which is a simple "Does this person care about my thoughts and ideas or are they only interested in basic conversation?" If you don't want to hear about my ideas and discuss everything around us, then I feel like I have to restrain this part of me and I don't want to filter what I say for things that you'll find interesting, I want to let my curiosity flow like a faucit. I don't want to just be content with the world around me, I want to understand it. Why would I be happy with just existing when I have the power to create actual change? I love reading about the world but that does take time. It's way more fun to hear about a subject from someone else who cares about it then to just read. I don't care enough about utencils to read about their history and evolution but I'll gladly listen to you about it. After all that, it's how do we do socially? Are you emotionally fragile or can I be comfortable giving you criticism? Are you one of those people that thinks poking people's insecurites and anxieties is funny? After all of this, I have to also hope that life doesn't push us in different directions. It's exhausting. Life is easier when you only have a few close friends. I also find that the typical spoken language makes communicating my ideas painfully slow and I don't want to reiterate them all to someone who doesn't care or understand. I don't feel like spending time with people makes me less happy, I just get drained dealing with people's bs. I don't get drained when hanging out with my close friends but having to pump the breaksf or the kinds of people that shrug at 90% of what you say, isn't enjoyable.
If someone is expected to think about all of this in order to get a single friend it's no wonder I don't have any and it will be less and less likely that I will have any the more time goes on.
@@toretronio9030 I think my favorite is when you find someone intellectually compatable but they end up being a snobby/presumptious asscake
@@toretronio9030 No one's expecting you to think of any of these questions in order for you to get a friend (most people aren't even thinking of these questions to begin with).
This is just the vetting process that a lot of intelligent people use to determine who they should be close friends with. In general, someone who is smart, is mature enough to handle criticism, has values/is a good person, and cares about discussing life and other ideas. If you want a friend that has different qualities, that's entirely up to you (they're pretty high standards, so it is harder to find friends like this).
But you can have work friends, acquaintances or non-close friends, as well. It's possible to adapt and become friends with different kinds of people if both parties are respectful of each other and their beliefs (for example, if they're a devout Christian and you're an athiest, you can elect to not talk about it if you enjoy spending time with them otherwise. No matter what, you're going to disagree with everyone on at least one thing. It's like not talking about politics or religion at the dinner table).
Also, make sure you're going places where you can find friends. Most people become friends because of common interests, so joining a class, a club or exercise group can help!
@@TimM-kz1vl You're wise to do that... but even 90% compatible friendships still manage to utterly fall through, somehow, so I'm not even sure... is it worth the hassle.
I had a friend group of around 8 people. The thing is their was always some sort termoil then i got into a conflict with 1 of them and i basically got left out. Now i have a new “group” of just 3 including me but they are close friends of mine. Closer than my previous group has ever been. For now i dont want a bigger group
Friendship dynamics can vary, and finding what works best for you in terms of support and understanding is crucial. How has the shift to a smaller, closer group positively impacted your overall well-being?
I’m finally able to be myself because I have an SO that will love me no matter what and friends that have my back. My old work place was so bad, it felt like employees could only rely on each other. I was ready to get in an actual fight to keep one of my coworkers safe. Just about the whole store (employee wise and for a while, probably different now) would turn on someone that hurt one of our coworkers, as she’s so sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. She’s been spayed in the face (she’s deaf so can’t hear) and hit by cars in the parking lot despite wearing the designated safety vest. Don’t start none, won’t be none is a motto I’ve adopted from my SO
The biggest problem that I have when it comes to friendship is initiating contact with them. I have autism and I feel too nervous to communicate with other people, believing that I may be interrupting them in the middle of something important. I wish I knew how to fix this because I would really like to hang out with those I know I can get along with.
I'm not autistic myself, but I have a close autistic friend. I'd say building a strong sense of understanding between how you both feel in these circumstances is most important. The foundation of understanding can help ease anxiety around initiating conversation as one will understand your desire to initiate while you'll come to understand that a friend who values you will be happy to see you make that first contact or will make the time (then or later) if they happen to be doing something at the moment and will communicate that. Having a consistent routine when it comes to communicating with friends of course can help as well so that might be a conversation that could help your friendships grow.
I have autism and totally understand your feelings.
Have few friends, but share everything and joke about everything with them. Make them your safe haven and backup.
I've always struggled to have friends. Losing contact with one is devastating since I don't have a big horde of them to go through.
Quality over quantity 😊
I have to always remind myself it’s okay to be myself. But the self critical part of myself always puts myself down for being overwhelming to my friends, for being too much, I’m annoying them, etc. no matter how much therapy I do, I still struggle with this. How can I stop this overthinking? How do I believe that my friends do truly care for me and stop feeling so insecure and afraid that it’s all a lie?
I think you're being too hard on yourself. To me, it seems like you are overly worried that you're annoying them, but if they haven't told you you're being annoying, then how do you really know? And how will you know that you're annoying them less now, if you aren't aware of how annoyed they were in the first place?
Since they're already your friends, they were likely attracted to your personality and could even think this new version is less lively or more boring. You really don't know until you ask.
Just talk to them individually and say something along the lines of, "I've been feeling like my personality can be too much for a lot of people lately, so I've been trying to tone it down in case I've been starting to annoy you. I'm open to hearing criticism because I don't want it to affect our friendship." If they truly are your friends and care about you, they should be supportive and understanding.
As for the overthinking, try to ponder both sides in every situation and debate yourself, and ask yourself if you can disprove your thoughts in any way. Like when you think, "I feel like I'm annoying my friends" you could think, "well, I haven't talked to them about it, so how do I KNOW that I'm being annoying?" This method helped me stop being a hypochondriac. If that doesn't work, try to view yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you and try to think of yourself how they would think of you. Also, ask your therapist about CBT, it's a useful form of therapy that can get you to see yourself and life in a more positive light.
I have the same two best friends since high school. That is it. I'm very close to those two. So, I guess I'm smart according to this video. 😂😂😂❤ Since high school, I spend lots of time researching communication and other topics that require that extra brain power. As an adult, I don't find people that I can have that conversation with. I'm grateful for my two friends. They might not be super interested like me, but they can talk with me about it openly and have a conversation.
I am certainly an exception to this. See, my family is huge and close- knit, and probably 90-100% of us are smart. I have always been an introvert, though I learned early on that isolating at family gatherings (typically 20-50 people, though the large ones can be 300 people or more) is just rude.
After a life- changing car crash at age 15, when I realized how many THOUSANDS of people were actively praying for my well-being, I decided it was appropriate to give something back, so I stopped isolating when I could. Lo and behold, I truly do like most people!
Sometimes, I do need to hide out from the world and recharge my batteries, though I really do value each and every person that I consider a friend. And there are a lot of them!
My current partner is an extrovert, and he has helped me learn ways to micro-isolate, and introduced me to dozens of people that I now consider good friends. It's a beautiful world and I'm glad to poke my head out of my shell to experience it more, and I'm glad he respects my need to pull my exposed parts back into the shell sometimes.
This resonates with me deeply. As an individual with a keen intellect, my social circle is intentionally small, consisting of just five friends, two of whom hold a particularly close and cherished place in my life. The insights shared by your team align perfectly with my own experiences, and I appreciate gaining a deeper understanding of this reality. Thanks!
"Few friends mean you could be extremely intelligent"
Me with no friends: "Yeah, it's big brain time"
I have only one true best friend, and they're the best person I have ever been around 😊
Cherish and nurture that friendship, as having someone who understands and supports you is invaluable.🥰
@@Psych2go I concur. They're one of my most valued connections and have go me thru many bad parts of my recent years
This video explained alot and I really appreciate that there's nothing actually wrong with me. Btw, the voice is so soothinggg
I only make friends that has same interest as me, I always felt outcast with my own classmates through high school and college, but the last quote make me feel Happy.
It scares me how much I relate to this. I’m not necessarily Einstein, but I do have photographic memory. I also have a mental disorder, ADHD (but with mainly Attentive Disorder), so I’m not so sure which one is the main reason.
It seems like several people are upset at the change in narrator. I do like Amanda’s voice, but I found this man’s voice to be extremely pleasing as well. 😊
I honestly feel weird, because this describes me, but at the same time it's weird having someone saying I'm smart haha. Also because I've always seen the fact I have few friends as my trauma reaction, I had toxic people around me and I didn't want anymore, so I became careful so I wouldn't have my feelings destroyed again
its kinda nice hearing this. it has been a whole day of self hatred and the feeling of inferiority, that i am not good enough, and i am a burden to everyone, and that’s why everyone leaves me. but im not the only one like that. i feel seen, in a way. it’s okay not having friends, it’s okay being alone. lmao sorry for the vent
I don’t have any friends, I have always been brutally honest and expect the same back. Most people seem to like to be told a good lie rather than a hard truth. I will never undermine my values just to have “friends”.
Then you're at least somewhat smart...
"I will never undermine my values just to have “friends”. _True_ friends aren't supposed to require you to undermine your values, but share them and support you in them instead. Otherwise, what's there to make them friends?
Just 2 weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me, for valid reasons, I’ve been improving myself on them, but I fear that as time goes on she falls more and more out of love, how would I stop her from falling out of love, or if she already has, be able to get her to fall back in love? I don’t want to do ANYTHING manipulative, I just want to somehow recreate what originally made her fall in love with me. And if she doesn’t end up loving me again, how would I move on? This was my first relationship so I don’t know how I could move on.
I dont know if this may help you but you have to let her go. It's going to hurt a lot now, but in a few weeks, you'll fe better! There are plenty of women out there who may want to be in a relationship with you. And to move on, maybe look up some tips on how to handle a break up! And just taking some time to mourn the relationship is vital!
I can relate to many points of this video specially because I'm a introverted person who have struggled to make friends my entire life. However, I'm not sorrowful for that, in fact I'm very satisfied with my few friends since I know I can always rely on them.
This is so relatable to me, I was kinda jealous how the ‘popular’ group is alw fun, I wished I was like them sometimes. Well ig I stopped caring abt that after a while after I realized the worth of my few friends rn, they’re the best!
One loyal friend is worth more then a thousand fakes one!😇🙏❤️🥰
i dont have any friends =(, i wish i had a bestie to share the world with
Yesss!!! This is what I am going through right now!!! I always wondered why so Thanks so much for the advice ❤
that is very interesting, that intelligent means feeling less happy around others, I am learning in my 30s that it is ok to be mostly by myself, I enjoy my alonetime, I also get lonely and I do have people I can relate to but I prefer my solitude where I can be creative and relax.
You can have many friends that you like & love & sometimes have different intrests to share with different people . When you need private time just go for as there is no need to apologize for who you & your needs are .
Pschology with all due tespect is not an exact sciense ( as for instance Math or Phisics ) .
Thank you very much .
I got 3 very close friends if you don't count my younger brother whom I'm Very close with . I've been friends with my closest friend since 2nd grade in school when I was 9 years old . I'm 34 now. the other 2 very close friends are my brothers wife and this friends wife who I've got to know over the past 10 years and found out that we get along very well. I've had other friends who sadly changed along the way , a friend whom I knew since middle school (when I was 12) I talk to only once every few months . he blamed me for something that didn't happen and then tried to take revenge (which I found out , this was when we were 25 years old ) without talking to me first. which broke my trust and I've never been able to forgive him , even though I understand he was not ok at the time and even though I saw how he was trying to fix everything for a long time.
this video made me reminisce about a lot of things , and remember things I didn't want to . feelings caught up to me so I felt like sharing this here.
I couldn’t agree more with this video. I like to keep my circle small and I have at least 5 genuine friends. Those are ones that I can always talk to and have my back.
10 years same 5 friends but now no one
Hey Psych2Go team, I was wondering if you guys could potentially do a video about escapism. I’ve recently had some really traumatic difficulties going on in my life and I’m currently sensing that my mind and mentality is almost trying to escape somehow in some way. Like I keep telling myself in some form over and over again “I wish this, I wish that”, etc. you don’t have to do a video about this but I figured it was worth suggesting.
I've never felt close enough to anyone in my friend groups and I generally only keep them aslong as I'm a particular work environment, when I move on I cut them out of my life and make new ones where I go next, I dont know why I do this especially as I know that in all my years there have been some I really valued and appreciated, I dont feel its because I don't care, but I do somehow manage to convince myself that none of them actually really care about me, it's leading to a pretty lonely life at this point, I guess I don't really feel I have any value why would they care.
I’ve always looked at it as choosing quality over quantity.
I don't have any friends so I must be a regular Einstein.
people always said i'm quite smart, so quality over quantity has always been really relatable for me. i really want just a few close friends, but people in my friend group which i consider close friends keep wanting to meet new friends and kept telling me to meet new people, so sometimes i feel a little out of place. another reason why i don't want to meet too many new people is because i'm afraid of accidentally replacing current friends and hurting them, yet it seems like my friends don't really care as much as i do which does make me worry. but now, i know i don't have to change what i do and when i choose to meet new friends. i really agreed w/ the video, thanks psych2go :)
idk if i’m being delusional but i feel like my life was better when i only had 3 friends. I moved schools and became more social but now i feel less productive and less happy?? they’re actually more like acquaintances, i don’t always talk to all my friends. I’m not saying that my friends are bringing me down but i feel lonelier, since i’m not actually close with most of my friends
This is how I feel in college right now, lots of people I talk to and meet, but most of them are just acquaintances and do not really feel close to them.
As a autistic person myself I would say I'm intelligent but have a hard time making friends because of trust issues
Oh new voice , i like how all the voices for this channel is very calm
I only have very few friends because of having multiple disabilities.
I’m not even sure if I’m highly intelligent or not because of having very limited friends.
It’s been weeks since I avoided one of my friends..I have no idea why. Everytime I see them I run away. I don’t even reply to any of their messages..something in me just doesn’t wanna be around them
What if you only have a few acquaintances but no real friends. And now that I'm 46 disabled and no longer able to work. Making any will be extremely difficult if not impossible. Looks like its a lonely isolated life for me from now on.
I don’t get out much either, but I am in three different kinds of groups that meet once a week on zoom, and it’s a lifesaver! Find whatever you’re interested in and look it up online. There are sure to be others who are also interested and I find it easier to meet that way. I don’t have to leave the house and I can attend or not attend. It’s wonderful. And it makes my life less lonely.
Have so many friends can drain you, and have small group close friends form deeper connection with
I prefer quality over quantity. I value deep relationships. My grandmother taught me you are known by the company you keep.
I love your grandmother's perspective on this!
That's smart...
I like how his disclaimer in the beginning was that the list wasn't a be all and end all, yet he managed to hit every single nail on the head about me. All I'm saying is that it looks pretty be all and end all to me 😅
This makes me sad. My inner circle is so tiny that it has left me alone for now because of my few close friends being busy.
I don't have few friends, i have zero
i care about all these things, and i do have those type of friend groups, but that doesn’t mean i’m lonely. i choose who i know will stick with me and which friends or groups i will put more effort i js dont shove away others
I feel like this is all also relatable and relevant to people with high masking/ late diagnosed autism and/or ADHD.
Or perhaps it's just because neurodivergent peeps are also predominantly intelligent. They just think differently and solve problems differently.
This one reminds me of my friend Kevin Grimm who tore apart our entire friend group and after a couple months it is pretty much non existent anymore.
now im confused as to whether im smart or just introverted
I have the traits mentioned in video, but the real question is; what does it mean if you have *_no_* friends?! 🤔
This explains why my circle of friends is small
I really would love to find a woman who has a personality and enjoyments as myself. I feel quite isolated when no one has certain interests as you
Ever since I was a child I dint not have any friends tho I used to love my sollitude but later on I had only 3 or 2 friends . They are just mere reflection of my emotions and they are always postiive tho... I trust them
Writing style is so nice, go on with it.
I spend most of my time alone alone as in a room by my self
when people see what I can do it Scares! the HELL!! out of them OK!
when people see what I can do it SCARES them when I focus my mind and look at you I will know what you are thinking
i stay alone
For me I’ve always been like that it happens when you have high functioning autism like young Sheldon dose but it’s just better that way so it’s less likely for your only few friends to leave you.
I find myself relating to all of these, which is interesting :)
I think coming from my own experience, I've found that finding those few friends can be very hard, and you may find that a lot of people you get along well with will come and go throughout your life before you find the few that stick by you, as described in the video.
That's not to say that they're not there, but an important lesson I've had to learn is that it's absolutely okay to let go of people when you drift apart or they don't serve your needs anymore (though I still like to give people chances first).
Just something to consider. To be fair, I'm only 20 and still figuring myself and my life out so I'm not a sage when it comes to this stuff but this lesson has helped me towards letting go of past events where friendships didn't end well.
"or they don't serve your needs anymore" And what to do when not a single person in existence serves your needs, but can only harm instead?
I wish I had at least "few friends" 😭
Find something you’re interested in and join a group. You can do it in person or online. If you’re healthy and you have enough time, volunteer for something. That’s a great way to meet people! I hope you find some friends. 💕
Could also just be Autism, until I discovered I was, I often wondered why I preferred my alone time and had very few (okay, pretty much no) friends, once I did a deep-dive into learning about autism, all the lights lit up and made me realise that I was autistic, and this video describes every bit of being autistic without actually mentioning it, intelligence, insight, weak social batteries, more energised by our interests than social gatherings, yep, autism...
Lost a friend today... Well, turned out we weren't friends to begin with.
I needed this video 😢
I'm glad to hear that the video was helpful for you!❤
Makes complete sense to me. Outside of my family I have two people whom I call my best friends.
Huh.
It appears i am now Albert Einstein
Friend circle? Nah I got a friend line, one side to the other just two people
That thumbnail is way too accurate. It's even just a straight up cartoon version of me. Now I guess I have to watch the video
The guys voice narrating this video is beautiful and calming
Thanks for highlighting Brandon's soothing voice. I appreciate you mentioning it!
when I was younger my parents told me the reason I can’t make friends was because of my iq, but 10 years later I learned this “iq test” they kept referring to was actually an autism test that I passed with flying colors lmao (to be clear autism is not synonymous with iq, I am not a genius at anything. You should’ve seen me trying to remember how to make ramen earlier)
i find it pathetic of myself that i only have 1 friend when everyone else has many friends. i wish i was better at socialization so i could make and keep more friends. being on the autistic spectrum doesnt help with making and keeping friends in addition i am an introvert and have social anxiety so its literally impossible for me to make new friends and keep them.
I feel like that and I don't have many close friends to who I can talk about a lot of things, I mean, I really enjoy connecting and talking to new people and get to know about them and their world, but having close friends, like, I would consider just one, that's been my friend since high school and we were neighbors, and also another friend that I met at theatre classes I took, and he's so much like me 😂😂😂 I don't feel . I do feel very lonely and feel like most of the subjects I want to talk about with people don't get their attention. I really like questioning everything and theorizing and learning new stuf, but I can't really have a real talk with everyone. I want to start psychology at university next year and I'll be honest: one of the major reasons for me to want to study psychology is that I'm really expecting getting to know people who I can talk with, like, deep conversation, people that make the same questions as I do about the world and my reality. I feel like I need to do this cause that will change my life and how I view life and people. I feel very very alone regarding when it comes to my morals, sometimes I feel stupid and too much idealistic about the world and even my mom says that I need to stop being like that and that the world is not a fairy tale, that I dream too much .. I know that going to psychology college will make me meet and get in touch with people that are more like me and then I wont feel so weird about wanting to change the world around me for the best. I have this feeling of non belonging, not being part of something that really resonates with who I am. I'm glad I went to theatre course cause there I met one of the best friends I have, he understands me, he says he loves to listen to me talking and we spend hours and hours talking about many subjects that interests us, It feels so awesome to be understood and not judged and actually feel appreciated for being who I am, I don't feel like that with many people. You know when someone simply gets who you are??? That's amazing to me cause it's really rare. If you read this, wish me luck on psychology graduation. Thanks! 😅😂😊❤
I'm learning more from your videos, thank you so much!
Having few or no friends isn't always a choice. Some people are just excluded.
Of course i'm clicking this thinking im smart.
Thank you for this video
You're very welcome! and thank you for being part of the community.
+Psych2GoTv *As an autist whom the school systems o' the 1970's, '80's and '90's failed due to immature resources* (mind you, Gutstein, Sheely & Associates PC, Houston, TX, USA, hadn't patented the Relationship Development Intervention Program until 2000, when I's almost a decade out o' school), *I had **_very_** shallow social involvements and, without immediate family, no friends per se.* Thanks for the rationales anyways:
0:50 *1. Quality Over Quantity:* As of November 2023 I hadn't contacts of quality, therefore no deep relations.
1:32 *2. Emotional Depth and Trust:* Due to unconscious emotional blocks that derailed growth-seeking at mid-infancy, I never developed a sense of/for emotional safety, a MAJOR prerequisite for trust.
2:14 *3. Intellectual Compatibility:* Not a factor, as I've a general agnosis on relational fundamentals.
3:06 *4. Privacy and Introspection:* Have yet to learn 'em.
This is actually really interesting.
❤❤
"Be careful who you consider your friend; I'd rather have four quarters then one-hundred pennies." - Alphonse Capone
I don't know if I'm smart but I have a few very close friends whom I see meanwhile more as family than "just" as friends 😊 I like to have meaningful conversations, smalltalk is nothing for me and what other people might define as "friends" I would define just as "acquaintances" 🤔
I've never considered myself intelligent. I think people give me FAR too much credit, but they always tell me how smart I am even though to me, the knowledge I have on various subjects feels very surface level. I tend to lose people when I share something I'm really into. I don't want to come off as arrogant, but I tend to use more "advanced" words and having to be a dictionary or thesaurus mid conversation is kind of frustrating. It's not just some nebulous attempt at sounding more intelligent. I feel basic language can't convey what I'm thinking sometimes. I don't know if others here have a similar experience, but that's mine.
I know very intelligent people that have a lot of friends... I hate to admit it, but maybe we, who don't have a bunch of friends, are just weird...
I know I rlly don’t have much friends, I definitely take the quality over quantity saying seriously and make sure to make the current friendships I have rn good and lasting for the future later on.