Ask The Unfaithful - Episode 18: What are the Consequences of Betrayal for the Unfaithful?
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- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
- Often times a betrayed partner will wonder if the unfaithful actually suffers any consequences due to their choice(s) to go outside the marriage. Betrayeds will ask us "Are the unfaithful, actually suffering at all? Do you think they've become aware of what they've done to me, to us, to our family?" Our answer is "We're not sure yet....it depends on the work they're doing and who they are doing it with. They may not be aware of just how much they've lost....... yet." As the unfaithful get healthier and healthier, more and more 'sober' if you will, the unfaithful will become progressively more aware of just how much they've lost and how much they've hurt their loved ones and themselves. Consequences frequently will roll in as they start to do the work to find empathy, compassion and safety. From support groups, to expert help, to intensives, to doing their own work behind the scenes, if an unfaithful is 'getting it' empathy and remorse will follow. Join us today as we have an in depth discussion of the massive consequences of the unfaithful both known and unknown.
#infidelity #hopeforhealing #affairrecovery #affairs #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #ptsd #cptsd #samshealingpodcast #addictionrecovery
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AWESOME content guys. I’ve watched dozens of videos from Dr. Ramani, David Hawkins and Les Carter and this has been MOST helpful insight so far. Thank you!
Thank you for this podcast! My husband of 21 years has been a pornography/sex addict with a 30+ year addiction, and also a 30+ year weed addiction, which he continues with daily, so he can “check out”. (Blocking REAL chance at connecting 😢) He says he hasn’t acted out since February. But I have no proof other than his word. And unfortunately, that doesn’t mean much. He still doing a lot of the defensive and blame shifting. But he likes to scream to the world about how he is a new man and how much work that he has done. There’s still no connection with him, and I, and it’s so draining on my soul. I am exhausted. he keeps dangling the carrot about giving me a disclosure. I feel like I’m sinking in quicksand. 😭
I think it's time to throw in the towel. I just can't anymore ...it's everyday that I get to see my spouse co-parenting now with the AP. I don't get any kind of break from the constant reminder of the disrespect that's apparently just the way it is ....was ... And will be. I don't deserve to pay his consequences
So painful…so wrong.
I grieve with you
Fuck him! You deserve better and will get better. They're just on a high. They aren't as happy as they want you to see.
So sorry that you have to go through this.
Thank you for your comments here. Sometimes I think I just need to say it out loud. So that it doesn't start to rot inside me or build up in ways that become more than I can manage. I can't help but feel robbed. Wasted almost 13 years of my life. I had my tubes tied so that we wouldn't have to be in this exact situation. I thought I was protecting us from ruining our lives with having another child...ours are almost grown and out of the house in 2 years.
Anyway thank you for your empathy
Great message w this one team - lots from which to learn.
What about when they leave to be with the AP...do they face any consequences?
Do they digest that reality if they are still with the affair partner ? Do any of those consequences even come to mind or are they still in denial?Left marriage immediately after D-Day, moved in with affair partner . No desire from them to repair or work on the marriage at all, never looked back. Divorce took almost 2 years and post-divorce 7 months now. They are still together and just bought a house. One of our two adult children won't talk to him for the last 2 years. There has to be some recognition of the devastation that was caused by his choices. However there seems to be no outward expressions of remorse . The four brief instances where I have seen my now ex-husband he won't even make eye contact with me.. avoids me at all costs. Only communication has been business items as necessary. Married 28 years before D-Day.
Oh wow! I’m so sorry you had to deal w this massive destruction of a nuclear bomb!! Massive avoidance and denial- and living in fantasy rather than facing the shame/pain.
I have dealt w a similar path- except many many many women dating apps ….back n forth ambivalence- desperation in his survival mode- won’t grow himself up. He’s a child being disobedient to his mother. I finally see it.
Sounds EXACTLY like my situation🤷🏼♀️. Been 5 years now since D day and I’m still …. Confused…..for lack of a long reply😬
It’s been my experience that long term affairs mean the unfaithful was done with the marriage long before the affair even began. They say they were just going through the motions and totally forgot what happiness and passion were. Even husbands who stay say they aren’t in love with their wife-that they love her like a friend or sister. Ugh! No thanks. I’d rather be single than live with that. There’s too much joy, fun, and adventure out there to be stuck with a betrayer who doesn’t love me any more. Happily moving on!
Not everyone hits rock bottom. Some are just bottom dwellers.