Episode 4: Is Relapse a Part of Recovery?

[@hemofhisgarment8083]

Thank you for these Sam and James. My UH is in H4H and also seeing a csat soon, along with SAA. This is his 4th acting out in our relationship but never received help. I’m feeling lost and not sure if recovery is even possible, but I’m praying with help he can. He watches all of these videos and the AR videos as well. Thank you again for your love for our families

[@charleneg.4053]

I believe in recovery work and therapy, but I still have a hard time though believing that at the end of the day it’s a choice and you either want to do something (like cheat) or you don’t. And you’ll either take the risk or you won’t no matter how much “work” you’ve done. Am I wrong? Especially if you’ve done it before and already seen what it does to your significant other, friends, and family. To do it again just goes to show you’ll do whatever makes you feel good in the moment. How do you heal that other than just deciding that you don’t want to be that way? Is it an excuse like well I relapsed but I’ll try harder next time because THIS TIME I know better and I’ll put in some work… then the cycle continues. If you really don’t want to be that person, then why is it so hard to be what you want to be instead?
It kind of sucks to think that in order to be a decent spouse you’ll always need to be reminded of what to do and not do. If you go through a program, is it expected that eventually you will not need something to constantly remind you?
I’m trying to figure out if my husband is worth staying with after more than one instance of betrayal over our 20 years of marriage or if I should just try to find someone who would never cheat in the first place. I love him more than anything but I can’t keep going through this. He’s doing everything right in our recovery now and has been consistently for 6 months but he’s not in a program and I’m wondering if he should be. Actually, I did decide we are worth it to try again because we are still together, but I’m really afraid of another occurrence in the future. That’s why I asked him to watch this video and see what he thinks about joining your program.
Do you have any info on how he can start therapy with you, Sam? I’d appreciate your response, thank you.