Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted Next
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- Опубликовано: 25 мар 2024
- This Week's Most Viral News: March 22, 2024
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😂 why y’all do Mr. Myamoto like this???
Hang on... Mario wears blue suspenders, not red... I'm starting to suspect Miyamoto didn't actuall say any of that!
Depends on how old the image of him is. Mario's clothes changed colours several times in the early years.
@@MammaApa It also depends if they're suspenders since Mario wears dungarees, and dungarees have straps.
And it depends on if he has the fire flower or not
@@oberonpanopticonyeah sometimes it becomes a white sparkly jumpsuit
You can take off your detective hat, bud
There's something wrong with whichever writer wrote that Sonic bit
Yeah what did Sonic ever do?
@@Pangaea434Films Told them off for writing to slow.
@@Pangaea434Films He's impatient , always tapping his foot like he has somewhere to be.
yeah the translation seemed a bit rushed at moments, but overall very accurate to the source.
Notre Dame Mosque lmfao
I died. Accidently built a mosque.
@@LambSauce-ey6jx The onion just says random stuff and expects it to be funny to brain rotted grade schoolers. Gen alpha humor.
@@Based_Gigachad_001And yet you are here, adding to their engagement algorithm. Tell us again who is brain rotted...
@@LambSauce-ey6jx
I interpreted it as what if a group like the House of Saud funded the reconstruction and decided to build it as a mosque to try to force the people of Paris to be Muslim. Just some over the top satire of their influence, like how the Saud’s own the professional American golfing industry.
@@Based_Gigachad_001 The Onion has been around since 1988
tbh I really enjoy the new subway surfers variant. it’s just so absurd, like some of the atrocious actual serious reddit subway surfer videos
Wait there's a real version of that?
The red suspenders was crossing the line...that's too far
That Sonic interview got real real fast.
Genital appraisals I love it!!!
I demand my male genitals be appraised by women as well.
That sonic clip could have used a bit more sadism.
The dog cone lady is into some stuff
Man the editor must be high
Um actually. 🤓Mario's suspenders are blue.
Wtf happened to The Onion? This is pathetic.
So there's just no budget now huh? This is difficult to watch when compared to the content they used to produce.
This is funny as hell
Indeed. Laugh out loud hilarious.
Yep. Hell is painful as if this version of the Onion.
Wtf happened to the Onion??? Its like a tik toker runs it now! Did they fire all their staff or something?
I remember that there was a time when the onion actually used to be funny. It really hasn’t been all that funny for a couple years now.
wtf happened to this channel? i think I'm 10 years too late
I miss the good old onion videos
yea it used to be top tier comedy like a decade ago... now its just a shallow, soulless shadow of its former self. Watered down a lot
@@heyjeySigma nah bro, its definetly not as fun as it was, but i still think its really good satire
When you know japanese the joke doesn't work ._.
Even if you only know weeb, it barely works.
I don't know Japanese at all but I heard "Nintendo" in a sentence that did not have Nintendo in it lol.
Everybody saying The Onion sucks now, and I get it, but come on, man.
Ten years ago, The Onion was masterful satire.
Today, they're just a normal news network.
How you going to parody modern life when modern life is itself a parody? They're comedians, not miracle workers. Give them a break.
I'm pro choice in general - that topic has nothing to do with comedy. This is garbage.
Is that Sonic bit on a separate video
By the saints! What sorcery is this? I am utterly confounded
I miss when the foreign language actually matched up with the subtitles on Onion 😢
There definitely should be a mileage counter on it😂😂
Sonic's the eggman! Wooooo! Coo coo kajoob, coo coo ca cooooo coo coo! Jooba Jooba Jooba!!
what happened to onion news? shitposting clips? they treat their audience like ipad kids now. hard to call stitching some gameplay or tik toks with reddit posts read aloud content. almost bar for bar in hand with the 💰method. how can a company who was so funny doing the news key & peele way before fall off so bad. you’d think they would have had a field day
Thank you for giving us new content
I have seen enough of the internet to know that some women would bark into that dog cone and whine if you didn't pet them.
I also know, however, that that is by far the minority, even if they draw A LOT of furry porn about it.
I mean same tbh
What in God's name are watching to assume a large part of women are furries
@@EpixNirvana_Fan101 I didn't say a large part, I said Some. I even said that that's by far the minority. Reading Comprehension is a Valuable skill, my guy.
"Dog cone"! 🐶😆
Dog cone💀
My idea for men in other post must not be going over very well, for they wont allow an edit...
don't flatter yourself child
You guys are genius. Absolute genius 😂😂
Don’t do the AI voice stuff
Oh, perhaps they should consider the draft, then.
Only when women are finally the ones who are primarily starting wars and committing gen-cide but don't worry, that day isn't very far now
This time line fucking sucks!!!! Lol😂😂😂
This is not what I expected from The Onion--WTF HAPPENED?!
Why do women even have a say in it?
Bring back that guy with the podcast.
Oh, well imagine
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can't help but to hear
No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
"What a beautiful wedding
What a beautiful wedding", says a bridesmaid to a waiter
"And, yes, but what a shame
What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore"
I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of
Well, in fact
Well, I'll look at it this way
I mean, technically, our marriage is saved
Well, this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne
Oh, well in fact
Well, I'll look at it this way
I mean, technically, our marriage is saved
Well, this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne, pour the champagne
I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
Again
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality
Song I think this is "I write comedies, not tragedies." ?
Don't like the robot voice pieces, but the rest made me smile.
Those are the only funny bits for how indistinguishable they are from actual askReddit threads
Oh lord
This is what the onion is producing now? Sad.
I was fired from my job last friday cause i used the toilet to much (ive got irritable bowel syndrome) and it was the third time i was fired for that reason during the past year. Honestly im so disturbed by this desease i may check into a psychiatric facality the next days cause i feel like im being being robbed any chance of actually living life by my fucking colon and its making me so sad the thought of ending it all becomes more transparent day by day.
This video made me laugh so fucking hard for the first time since years since my friends all just got rid of me 2 yrs ago when this desease started and i was tied to my bed for 1 entire year. They juist kept on living and didnt try to drag the unliving with them as any human would do i guess.....
i forgot about it all during those few minutes watchiong this. I loved how *brutally* fucked up this was. It was my first moment of letting go since half a year. Please, on god, never stop making these shitposts.
Everything will be okay ❤
I wonder what the onion thinks about abortion, can’t tell from the last 20 abortion satire headlines they’ve published.
We can have a debate on Abortion, BUT it'll have to wait until the Anti-Abortion folks start caring about children's lives and health AFTER they've been born as well as before.
@@AhsimNreiziev Pro-Life people do absolutely care about the lives of children after birth. Look into all the amazing women shelters and pregnancy support centers! It's amazing work 😁
@@AhsimNreiziev They do, just not until they're serving in the military.
@@andrasszabo1570 Not really. They'd rather people die in service than have them come back and -have PTSD- "be a leech draining the system".
........Unless they torture some innocent civilians (including children) while abroad, of course. Then they're War Heroes.
Uh oh.. think I found the snowflake. And it's about more than abortion. They didn't even mention it here. It's overall control that makes it hard for women to get hysterectomies, in vitro fertilization, and more.
Wow they really had to post this same short twice, huh.
Bwahahahaha
Why even bother, Onion?
It’s so sad to see the current state of the onion😢
You can put this in the news, AND THE SLEEPERS WOULD ACTUALLY BUY IT
That sonic bit killed me, unfortunately it's bundled with these other two.
Funny thing is, women in USA used to be lobotomised. 😂
painfully mid
It's interesting how there are a lot of jokes towards Muslims and the Arabic language on this channel. Does anyone know of Arabic numerals? How would anyone feel if you were forced to learn and write Arabic numerals?
what happend to this channel in the last 15 years? how did it go from funny high quality fake TV news to this
The Miyamoto bit maybe would have worked in 1994. Decades later it's obvious Mario won.
Women:what do you want the right to kill next.
I vote spiders, I hope it isn’t puppies though
What an intense beautiful man. ❤
what
this is awesome
Listen, this is very serious. We have to make Chris Chan believe the interview with Shigeru Myiamoto is true.
That sonic clip, soo good
As fake as this news is it's also so close to being 100% true!! Love onion news been a fan since you were on TV way back in the day
The Onion is such trash now
The quality and effort put into these modern Onion videos really shows. It’s all crap now.
Wow. None of this is funny.
😅
Imagine a future where people are addicted to content that is lower in quality and substance...
i can't with the AI voices, seriously, the voices are garbage
🫢👍
Ironically the onion finally stinks
Hah
these videos are so mid compared to what Onion used to put out...
women's body's have never been restricted. in fact we are PROTECTING the body INSIDE of the woman's body that has it's own unique DNA seperate from the mother and father. #it'snotyourbody
The Onion's quality level is at rock bottom satirize draconian reproduction policy all you like but you could put in slightly more effort than the average 13 year old tik toker
Women when they discover contraceptives 🤯
Same when people find out abstinence has an 100% chance of preventing pregnancy
Pro-forced birthers when they discover that contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof, that it doesn't even make sense to use them if you believe life begins at conception since hormonal contraceptives work to prevent both ovulation and implantation, that wanted pregnancies can need to be aborted for health reasons which doctors fearing legal action won't always help or will instead risk the woman's life waiting til last minute for, that anti-abortion laws can cause women to be punished for miscarrying, that anti-abortion laws will cause more "welfare leeches " for them to whine about since they forced unprepared people to reproduce and children of drug addicts who don't always remember to use contraceptives when they're high, and finally, when pro-forced birthers realize that dead bodies have more rights than women. Because nobody in the US can use organs from a dead body that didn't consent while they were alive, even to save somebody’s life. 🤯🤯🤯🤯
Pro-forced birthers when they discover rape exists, that contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof, that it doesn't even make sense to use them if you believe life begins at conception since hormonal contraceptives work to prevent both ovulation and implantation, that wanted pregnancies can need to be aborted for health reasons which doctors fearing legal action won't always help or will instead risk the woman's life waiting til last minute for, that anti-abortion laws can cause women to be punished for miscarrying, that anti-abortion laws will cause more "welfare leeches " for them to whine about since they forced unprepared people to reproduce and children of drug addicts who don't always remember to use contraceptives when they're high, and finally, when pro-forced birthers realize that dead bodies have more rights than women. Because nobody in the US can use organs from a dead body that didn't consent while they were alive, even to save somebody’s life. 🤯🤯🤯🤯
My body my choice!🤪
Then choose not to include another body... pretty easy, huh?
I agree, that’s why you can’t murder a baby. Or did you mean our bodies, my choice?
Imagine thinking a fully formed baby magically appears the moment sperm and egg meet and that "baby's" hypothetical suffering is more important than the known suffering of adult men and women. 💀💀💀
Pro-forced birthers when they discover rape exists, that contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof, that wanted pregnancies can need to be aborted for health reasons which doctors fearing legal action won't always help or will instead risk the woman's life waiting til last minute for, that anti-abortion laws can cause women to be punished for miscarrying, that anti-abortion laws will cause more "welfare leeches " for them to whine about since they forced unprepared people to reproduce and children of drug addicts who don't always remember to use contraceptives when they're high, and finally, when pro-forced birthers realize that dead bodies have more rights than women. Because nobody in the US can use organs from a dead body that didn't consent while they were alive, even to save somebody’s life. 🤯🤯🤯🤯
The onion has fallen so low
in what way?
how
You must be new here.
Crying cause Onion is making fun of your beliefs 😂
The Onion is and has been a satirical reflection of modern culture and news. They haven't fallen low, you have.
sad how far the onion have fallen
?
@@ggodd1080 He's crying about them not supporting authoritarianism.
@@dusklunistheumbreon You have a furry PFP bro shut up 💀
@@ggodd1080 its garbage now, compared to old stuff
@@dusklunistheumbreonit was way better in the past and calling whatever you don’t like authoritarianism is kind of dumb.
Vegan liberal: "My body my choice! It's just a clump of cells!".
"So you don't eat eggs?"
Vegan liberal: "THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A BABY CHICKEN!"
?
tf are you talking about? literally nobody thinks like this
@@moistenedwall1003 he is a conservative, he needs to imagine fake scenarios to get mad over something that isnt happening or true so they have a justification to harass marginalized groups
first
Loser
2:02 Blue. Blue suspenders. Mario wears blue suspenders.
they never said mario has red suspenders. they said red just so its not the same as the one mario is wearing since sonic is the one who's gonna wear it NOT mario.
@@imjonathan6745 'I'd dress him up as Mario, in red suspenders and everything'
God this is cringe don't u have budget anymore?
is onions new hobby mocking islam??
Why did you make this? Who is this even for? Who out there even believes that first bit is entertaining? You're a corporate entity, what about this is profitable? I suppose the evident lack of effort probably made this a guaranteed profit, but was it even worth the time? Who's going to remember the stunning 'dog cone' bit or the 'accidental mosque' in a year?
I thought the first one was pretty funny, but I'm not a man so that could be why.
It's for me
Great news, women aren’t having their bodies restricted, if you leave the babies body alone inside your body, it continues to grow healthy and strong until he comes out regardless of you preparing for that or not. 😊 It really is best for the mother to go to a hospital rather than be responsible for the other persons life that inevitably happens unless the child’s life is unnaturally acted upon. There are some people that want to believe that they have a right to spill other peoples blood from the other person’s body, and they are calling themselves “pro-choice” and they make choices over even males bodies. They claim that they truly believe it’s a woman’s right to stop the beating heart of a 20 days post conception fetus “without reason or apology“ but others think women should focus on the health of their bodies, and not the destruction of bodies that are not theirs with abortion. Half of abortions stop the lives of men by Women restricting the bodies of boys. At the core of things abortion is a lack of faith and a belief that life could be better if someone else has their blood spilled and considering a tiny to chamber heart pumps blood that is not theirs through someone else’s body after just 20 days after conception, there is no debate over a woman’s body, it’s over women thinking they have the right to naturally act upon other peoples bodies. The waiting list for people wanting to adopt a newborn is about 7 years, most of the children in the foster care system have selfish parents who refuse to sign away the rights to the child, and most Women who make the choice of abortion actually make the choice to do it more than once because they treat it as birth control when those kids actually are wanted even if it’s not by their own blood relatives willing to cut off the oxygen supply that is the umbilical cord. Most amazing is while I said the child’s blood, the child’s blood type can be different than the mothers, because it’s not her body, it’s his.
Are you crazy or are you trying to be satire?
What is that yap session?
Does he really expect us to read all that? @@KassandraRielle
The Onion: another once great entity that's fallen to the diversity hires.
This is cringe even being pro-choice
This is like the babylon bee but they do brave work by not being funny. Its hard to suck so bad.
Don't worry, their army of teenage girls will save them from irrelevancy!!!
Triggered
Time to unsubscribe.
This is not an airport, you do not need to announce your departure. You will not be missed.
@@Toastybees I'm not the only one leaving. This channel has been getting less and less views. You cared enough to respond.
☝️🤓
@@audreyiiishotterthananyani1305 Name checks out. PFP checks out. I'm guessing your on your period or whatever you teenaged girls have?
@@audreyiiishotterthananyani1305 PFP and name checks out. On your period again?
Why can’t women be more disciplined in their leg spreading?
Why must men insist on blaming literally everything on women, deny basic science and human rights to degrade women, and force women to endure government-mandated pregnancies as early as 10?
to paraphrase what you said "why am I so lonely"
Why are you trying to punish people for having sex?
@@dusklunistheumbreon Why are you okay with abortion but not eugenics? Why are woman incapable of being responsible adults?
I'm sure they're plenty disciplined around you. 😊
The women in roe v wade claimed rape she wasnt
Who here knows the real story of roe v wade
Irrelevant. Anti-abortion restrictions violate our rights to privacy. The supreme court ruling that overturned the decision simply states that the precedent didn't exist never so it shouldn't now which is completely absurd.
@@DeathToMayo Abortion is morally wrong and will always be morally wrong.
"Congrats to everyone Who is early and who found this comment.. 🐼🐧,,,..
Unborn children would like to have their lives preserved
Does the state have the right to force you to donate your organs while you're still alive?
@@dusklunistheumbreon An unborn child is a separate, wholly unique person from the mother, a soul to be protected and recognized. False equivalency
@@NeverSaySandwich1 Do you believe the state should have the legal power to force you, under penalty of imprisonment or death, to donate your organs while you are alive? Yes or no?
@@NeverSaySandwich1 Also, souls are a strictly religious concept, and as such should never factor into legal discussions whatsoever. Separation of church and state must be absolute.
@@dusklunistheumbreonArguing with a pro-birther is like arguing with a flat earther, there's no point
I ❤ the onion 🧅
Yikes.
The onion got political folks.
It was good while it lasted.
Unsubbing.
It's literally always been political. Are you dumb or just republican?
Agreed, the Sonic part was wayy too far 😤
hilariously on-point satire.. or genuine idiocy.. hard to tell nowadays
onion was political since day 1. I hope this is satire
It's always been political you dumce
😅