Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart

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  • Опубликовано: 22 ноя 2024
  • A gunman at a Dearborn, MI Walmart is holding dozens of shoppers who say they only happened to be at the tacky megachain by coincidence.

Комментарии • 4,3 тыс.

  • @brontox098
    @brontox098 5 лет назад +25846

    I only go to Walmart to ensure other people aren't shopping there.

    • @thegamelabgaming7556
      @thegamelabgaming7556 4 года назад +374

      A true hero

    • @blossomingbeelzebub
      @blossomingbeelzebub 4 года назад +28

      Mulholland Drive, what a movie!

    • @Tygafttf
      @Tygafttf 4 года назад +13

      Smart reference to sp smarttt

    • @Lu4455
      @Lu4455 4 года назад +13

      Anarco-monarchism?

    • @Nickelodeon81
      @Nickelodeon81 4 года назад +61

      I only go there to take pictures for People of Walmart. Although I keep getting following by some guy with a camera.

  • @sscswimmer1
    @sscswimmer1 4 года назад +30039

    Make sure you guys remember to delete this video from your history. You don't want RUclips thinking you were interested in Walmart or anything

    • @mehboobkm3728
      @mehboobkm3728 4 года назад +211

      Yes, the fucking AIs..

    • @edmissonmassingue6140
      @edmissonmassingue6140 4 года назад +25

      😂😂😂

    • @edmissonmassingue6140
      @edmissonmassingue6140 4 года назад +10

      @@mehboobkm3728 😂😂😂

    • @joshdanial8945
      @joshdanial8945 4 года назад +9

      Lol

    • @friendlyneighbor9536
      @friendlyneighbor9536 3 года назад +114

      This comment is so relatable lol one time I watched a single cute cat video and my youtube recommended was full of cat videos and just flushed out almost everything I actually want to watch

  • @bradnotbread
    @bradnotbread 3 года назад +7688

    I remember my English teacher, 20 years ago, telling us that her daughter was worried every time they shopped at Aldi that one of her friends might see her there. My teacher pointed out that if a friend did see her then the friend must also be shopping at Aldi.

    • @morningstar9233
      @morningstar9233 2 года назад +317

      I shop there in disguise.

    • @stefanfun
      @stefanfun 2 года назад +91

      You guys have Aldi??

    • @LieseFury
      @LieseFury 2 года назад +54

      i used to live in missouri, i miss aldi

    • @darkjanggo
      @darkjanggo 2 года назад +122

      i love aldi, walmart blows

    • @pointynoodle
      @pointynoodle 2 года назад +71

      Aldi goes HARD. I feel shame going to Dunnes or Tesco

  • @LordKlektar
    @LordKlektar 4 года назад +14906

    I’ve been to a Wal-Mart before, but it was only to get directions on how to get away from there.

  • @mjswans
    @mjswans 8 лет назад +9188

    Oh, is this about wallmart, I must have clicked the wrong video...

    • @MrVice101
      @MrVice101 8 лет назад +25

      M. J. Swanson Marry me!

    • @Jefff72
      @Jefff72 7 лет назад +5

      Me too!

    • @GrammeStudio
      @GrammeStudio 5 лет назад +6

      i knew this was a fake when the woman came out of the building and the cops let her be interviewed instead of showing the interviewer away and rushing her for medical assistance.

    • @TheLostRealist513
      @TheLostRealist513 5 лет назад +45

      @@GrammeStudio That's when you knew it wasn't real? You see those "The Onion" logos on the screen there?

    • @Matthew-li7we
      @Matthew-li7we 4 года назад +22

      @@TheLostRealist513 The Onion, my dear friend, is only the greatest source of news in America.

  • @D0oMblAsT
    @D0oMblAsT 10 лет назад +20695

    I was just watching this for the Onion, not walmart.

    • @Jefff72
      @Jefff72 7 лет назад +69

      Me too!!

    • @mattjohnson7775
      @mattjohnson7775 6 лет назад +18

      lol nice

    • @thehonestorange713
      @thehonestorange713 6 лет назад +14

      Wait it said Dearborne Michigan so why not go to Meyers. They might not be as cheap to shop at, but still way nicer. Btw I know it's satirw

    • @ddebenedictis
      @ddebenedictis 5 лет назад +46

      I never watch videos about Walmart and if I accidentally saw one, thinking it was an innocent Onion video, I certainly would not comment onit.

    • @newenglandsun4394
      @newenglandsun4394 5 лет назад +9

      This was about Walmart?

  • @shadowcat314
    @shadowcat314 6 лет назад +15880

    I'm in Wal-Mart right now. But I'm not shopping or anything. I'm working. But I don't work at Wal-Mart, I work for another company that sometimes has me go to walmart.

    • @tanith117
      @tanith117 6 лет назад +803

      My Real uniform was dirty, so I'm just borrowing this Walmart one, Which I dont work at.

    • @insanezombieman753
      @insanezombieman753 6 лет назад +167

      I dont know adrew it seems to me like you might be associated with walmart in some way shape or form that does not involve coincidence.

    • @soundwave9414
      @soundwave9414 5 лет назад +39

      Nice to meet a vendor in the commente

    • @RadioDJam
      @RadioDJam 5 лет назад +26

      I to work at a walmart, but not for walmart.
      I assume you do mastercard?

    • @codyrichey810
      @codyrichey810 5 лет назад

      Do you like it?

  • @cellytron
    @cellytron 4 года назад +11583

    "By the TVS which they apparently sell, I wouldn't know."
    "No, me either." I love how she didn't miss a beat there

    • @timopper5488
      @timopper5488 4 года назад +75

      S Perry
      It’s almost like it was rehearsed.

    • @davidarruda8400
      @davidarruda8400 4 года назад +468

      @@timopper5488 We got a philosopher here

    • @hectorquinones5579
      @hectorquinones5579 3 года назад +7

      came here for this!

    • @saeiih6104
      @saeiih6104 3 года назад +64

      @@timopper5488 Really? Didn’t notice

    • @irecordwithaphone1856
      @irecordwithaphone1856 3 года назад +50

      @@timopper5488 I wouldn’t be surprised if the onion has incorporated improv into their videos before. It’s not that far fetched to believe they improvised dialogue

  • @CRWC
    @CRWC 3 года назад +4956

    I’m glad they weren’t actually shopping at Walmart, I got worried for a second

    • @Stratelier
      @Stratelier 2 года назад +62

      Like the one lady said, she wasn't "shopping" shopping ...

    • @Skysky2318
      @Skysky2318 Год назад +3

      Lmao. Me too. 😂😂

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Год назад +2

      E‎‎‎

    • @jbosssenpai3266
      @jbosssenpai3266 11 месяцев назад

      dude, i was so worries too like

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 2 месяца назад

      😂

  • @giselle1718
    @giselle1718 4 года назад +12758

    "Hostages Refusing To Release Their Identities To Authorities"😂

  • @ObscuredByTime
    @ObscuredByTime 4 года назад +3563

    I want to make it clear that I am NOT watching this on a computer I purchased from WalMart. Does WalMart even sell computers? I honestly wouldn't know.

    • @nevracket3000
      @nevracket3000 4 года назад +125

      i was just here to make sure you haven’t been to walmart. i didn’t even watch the video. what is a walmart anyway? is it like a walnut?

    • @likewaterflows47
      @likewaterflows47 4 года назад +21

      No, me neither

    • @timopper5488
      @timopper5488 4 года назад +8

      N A
      Yup. It’s like a walnut.

    • @Demiglitch
      @Demiglitch 4 года назад +3

      Do they sell computers at Walmart? Who would buy that?

    • @peperoni_pepino
      @peperoni_pepino 4 года назад +4

      @@Demiglitch I hear Steve of Gamers Nexus has bought one, just to demonstrate how bad it is. However, I also hear that is the literal only Walmart PC ever sold.

  • @Riceyes
    @Riceyes 4 года назад +4413

    The closest ATM is literally inside Wal-mart, I mean what do you expect me to do? It's not like I'm shopping there, I mean I might buy some socks or a new pair of earbuds if they have them(I wouldn't know) or something, but that's just because I'm already there for the ATM.

    • @demoniack81
      @demoniack81 3 года назад +36

      I haven't been to an ATM in literally years

    • @remen_emperor
      @remen_emperor 3 года назад +8

      This is just fact for me, and the Wal-Mart is still half an hour for me. It's probably be just like this in the setting

    • @DeagleGamesTV
      @DeagleGamesTV 2 года назад +1

      @@demoniack81 Bullshit how else would you buy your weed?

    • @DarkOmegaMK2
      @DarkOmegaMK2 2 года назад +67

      They have ATMs at Walmart?! Oh man, i mean... i wouldn't know because i've never been to a Walmart, i mean like, someone asks me "What is a Walmart" and i'm like "i don't know, man".

    • @FreakyFriday4Phaggs
      @FreakyFriday4Phaggs 2 года назад +18

      @@DarkOmegaMK2 Walmart!? Ohhhhhh, I thought you said "Walter Fart"! I never heard of it, my cousin told me about it though!

  • @AngryKittens
    @AngryKittens 9 лет назад +5665

    I don't normally watch news of Walmart. I'm just here to compare prices of vacuum cleaners.

  • @Mario_1611
    @Mario_1611 6 лет назад +8633

    Ya'll need to stop lying. Everyone shops at Walmart...
    Except me, ofcourse.

    • @Mayonez891
      @Mayonez891 5 лет назад +57

      The video was good but your comment made me lose it

    • @azzat-9046
      @azzat-9046 5 лет назад +96

      I don't actually shop here I'm just making sure my brother doesn't.
      Maybe he's in the TV department..not that I would know if there's one..

    • @antichu7236
      @antichu7236 5 лет назад +62

      I don’t shop at walmart
      Cos My country doesn’t have walmart

    • @JimBob_Joe77
      @JimBob_Joe77 5 лет назад +13

      I mean where else are you supposed to buy a vacuum cleaner!?!?

    • @maxscott3349
      @maxscott3349 5 лет назад +8

      Yeah, you'd have to be almost as much as I am to resist 5 bucks for a case of pop. If that's what they charge. I wouldn't know

  • @MyLateralThawts
    @MyLateralThawts 4 года назад +3500

    What is this “Walmart” I keep hearing about? People keep telling me they’ve spotted my doppelgänger shopping there. I mean, how weird is that?

    • @flatebo1
      @flatebo1 4 года назад +74

      How weird is having a doppelgänger? Well, it seems to be pretty common, at least the “evil twin” variety. They crop up all the time in daytime soaps or Knight Rider. Not that I’d know firsthand, of course. It’s just what I’ve heard third hand through a friend of a friend or seen in the headline of an entertainment blog.

    • @tonyalston4838
      @tonyalston4838 3 года назад +34

      I think they sell walls or something like that. Maybe it's a hardware store like home depot

    • @trent800
      @trent800 3 года назад +17

      @@tonyalston4838 they said they sold TVs so maybe it is a electronics store

    • @ruturajshiralkar5566
      @ruturajshiralkar5566 3 года назад +1

      Mieesterr Unngerr!?

    • @TheReligiousAtheists
      @TheReligiousAtheists 3 года назад +11

      Well now you know which of your friends go to Walmart!

  • @PhoenixClank
    @PhoenixClank 4 года назад +10311

    I know nothing about American convenience store culture but this is pretty funny.

    • @jehovahs_thiccness.
      @jehovahs_thiccness. 4 года назад +2302

      Walmart = poor people store

    • @Meeminator
      @Meeminator 4 года назад +198

      It’s really not very strong

    • @indianathe3rd742
      @indianathe3rd742 4 года назад +83

      Me neither

    • @tonyblake7569
      @tonyblake7569 4 года назад +471

      I honestly can't tell if you're being serious or joking since it would totally fit with the point of the video.

    • @PhoenixClank
      @PhoenixClank 4 года назад +1081

      @@tonyblake7569 I'm being serious. I live in Germany, I know there's different convenience store chains with different target audiences and different reputations, but I don't know the American ones. But I get this video's joke.

  • @lonewolf031
    @lonewolf031 8 лет назад +3166

    I set my youtube settings to play the next video, I don't watch videos about Wal-Mart.

    • @Jefff72
      @Jefff72 7 лет назад +34

      Me neither! The video just happened to follow one I was watching.

    • @cheesething5564
      @cheesething5564 6 лет назад +4

      lonewolf031 same

    • @thegreatnihil7854
      @thegreatnihil7854 6 лет назад +11

      Upper middle class people shop at Walmart, poor douche bags that barely have a house buy designer clothing

    • @bredt2750
      @bredt2750 5 лет назад +20

      @@thegreatnihil7854 oh, you must be one of those people that like going to Walmart to... To hike, right? I mean, I don't really know what the Walmart is, it's probably, like, a national park, I'm guessing? I've never really heard of it but I'm sure it's probably not something that I would enjoy...

    • @maddog564
      @maddog564 5 лет назад +2

      @@bredt2750 Oh you really should go to Walmart. There are kangaroos and crocodiles and trees and stuff.

  • @AlcesColotes6575
    @AlcesColotes6575 11 лет назад +5325

    "near the TVs wich they apparently sell there *I wouldn't know*, no me either" cracked me up

    • @Jefff72
      @Jefff72 5 лет назад +27

      эхо гольф really they sell TV there? Sorry I wouldn’t know.

    • @stardustreverie6880
      @stardustreverie6880 5 лет назад +9

      @@Jefff72 saw one of your comments in another thread here from a year ago. you come here annually or something? :v

    • @Jefff72
      @Jefff72 5 лет назад +24

      Stardust Reveries I come back here and there to watch their videos. The Onion has hilarious videos.

    • @laurabrooks8824
      @laurabrooks8824 5 лет назад +1

      No, me neither. I mean, who would know, unless you shopped there or something. For reals, how you trying to play me like I shop at Walmart. Fool!

    • @saraschmertz4221
      @saraschmertz4221 5 лет назад

      @G This video is from 2011

  • @Munchael05
    @Munchael05 5 лет назад +2707

    “Hostage? No, no I was shopping at the shoe store. I’ve must’ve hurt myself while getting shoes.”

    • @judysternwell5696
      @judysternwell5696 4 года назад +26

      MICHAEL: THAT WAS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE LINE. LMAO... 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Michealxlr
      @Michealxlr 4 года назад +21

      I only just got that.. damn these guys are funny XD

    • @markgoggin4776
      @markgoggin4776 4 года назад +51

      Shoe related injuries are on the rise, keep your kids safe everyone

    • @travismalcolm2853
      @travismalcolm2853 3 года назад

      Thanks for repeating what she just said

    • @Munchael05
      @Munchael05 3 года назад +29

      @@travismalcolm2853 You’re welcome, have a good day.

  • @foof811
    @foof811 Год назад +160

    He was later acquitted when everyone involved refused to admit that they had been in or near a wal-mart and due to the judge throwing out the case because he had never heard of this “Wal-Mart place” before.

  • @Xaddgx
    @Xaddgx 9 лет назад +2342

    My friend came up to me one day and told me he could get me a job at Wal-Mart, not that I even knew what that was at the time. I mean, I still don't. Hell, he didn't even know what he was working for, he only found out because my friend's friend showed him the location of it on a map, not that he knew where it was on his own, it was just shown to him in a link by that friend's friend's friend, not that he even knew what-

  • @unstabledefusion
    @unstabledefusion Год назад +157

    I love how even corporate distances themselves from Walmart.

  • @akinyiomer4589
    @akinyiomer4589 5 месяцев назад +60

    Lmaoooo even the rolling sub-headlines have me chuckling.
    - "Gunman was former employee but insists it was 'just to pay for dental school' "
    - SWAT Team on way but having trouble finding 'This Walmart, is it?' "
    The Onion never really misses.

  • @jacobgarcia7918
    @jacobgarcia7918 4 года назад +1292

    It reminds me of the people who "never eat at McDonald's."

    • @PeterTeal77
      @PeterTeal77 4 года назад +106

      Most people literally never eat at mcdonalds

    • @TexboyGamer
      @TexboyGamer 4 года назад +76

      Bro I deadass never eat McDonald’s. Shit actually tastes like cardboard

    • @TexboyGamer
      @TexboyGamer 4 года назад +3

      @ً ong 🥵

    • @bad1173
      @bad1173 4 года назад +69

      ​@@TexboyGamer shiiite comeon now, I ate there yesterday...... I mean Chick fil a was closed, I wouldnt actually eat there, nor have I ever before yesterday solely because every place near me was burned down, and ah it was the only place within 200 miles and the busses actually got stolen in the morning before I was going to leave to get food somewhere else. But not that I eat at McDonald's ever, I probably would never go unless I had to, like yesterday.

    • @MrDarrylR
      @MrDarrylR 4 года назад +8

      Went Veg a dozen years ago. I can't even eat the fries at McD (still flavored with beef extract).
      If Subway and Taco Bell didn't exist, I'd starve on road trips.

  • @SP-qi8ur
    @SP-qi8ur 5 лет назад +5805

    One more time, The Onion has predicted the future.

    • @VoidMaid
      @VoidMaid 5 лет назад +522

      Considering the staggering number of mass shooting happening in the United Stages right now, and Wal-Mart being the largest company in the country, the odds were pretty high this was going to happen eventually.

    • @patstaysuckafreeboss8006
      @patstaysuckafreeboss8006 5 лет назад +183

      @@VoidMaid Next up, 17 people killed at McDonald's in Illinois

    • @bingalz1
      @bingalz1 5 лет назад +54

      Why did RUclips reccomend this, terrible timing

    • @Glock_Nico
      @Glock_Nico 5 лет назад +3

      @S P - true

    • @TTWEEDER
      @TTWEEDER 5 лет назад +42

      It's an algorithm based on YOUR habits and preferences... who is really to blame? And, yes, it recommended it for me as well. I'm a part of the problem as much as you.

  • @dr.archaeopteryx5512
    @dr.archaeopteryx5512 5 лет назад +1254

    I came to this video because I wasn't aware that people didn't acknowledge Walmart, I am from Europe, we don't have Walmarts here. Or maybe we do, I've certainly never seen one. And even if I saw one, I wouldn't go there, the one I saw only sold rather trashy clothes. I assume, I didn't go near enough to see. I think. I refuse to acknowledge its existence either way, except well, that's redundant, right, since there are luckily no Walmarts in Europe, y'all should move here, so you don't have to go shopping at Walmart, which I'm sure you don't, but it should be easier in Europe, since we don't have Walmart here.

    • @Celisar1
      @Celisar1 4 года назад +19

      Europe is a continent, not a country. I bet you don’t know if there are Walmarts in any other European country.

    • @s.k.8263
      @s.k.8263 3 года назад +105

      @@Celisar1 Afaik, there really aren't any Walmarts in Europe.

    • @gave2haze
      @gave2haze 3 года назад +15

      There is Asda in the uk, no idea if it's actually like Walmart but it's owned by them

    • @random_meta
      @random_meta 3 года назад +4

      @@Celisar1 I can clear Greece for one. No Walmarts here

    • @sir_blasphemy_the_first
      @sir_blasphemy_the_first 3 года назад +10

      It’s not that we refuse to acknowledge Walmarts existence it’s just that Walmart is where all the “special people” go to shop look up “people of Walmart” and you’d understand

  • @TheChestnutBowl
    @TheChestnutBowl 7 лет назад +644

    Hold on: how was BRAZIL snubbed at the International Ass Festival!?

    • @goodolnonamee
      @goodolnonamee 6 лет назад +84

      I would've loved to see THAT story

    • @Esdeath_0001
      @Esdeath_0001 6 лет назад +4

      Chestnut Bowl nice pfp

    • @TimeandMonotony
      @TimeandMonotony 6 лет назад +16

      Truly an outrage.

    • @GrinFlash007
      @GrinFlash007 6 лет назад +40

      Because they cheat with fake ass implants.

    • @Redmanticore
      @Redmanticore 5 лет назад +4

      did you know you can get implants for thighs now, too? its pretty wild

  • @Daniel-ox1sb
    @Daniel-ox1sb 2 года назад +69

    That gunman is a despicable person, keeping people inside a Walmart for so long...

  • @stuckinthepastproductions4329
    @stuckinthepastproductions4329 4 года назад +1112

    Man, in my tiny ass town people act like Walmart is the greatest place ever lol.

    • @elijahr.775
      @elijahr.775 4 года назад +88

      IT IS

    • @jasminehouston-burns1691
      @jasminehouston-burns1691 4 года назад +113

      Hell yeah, I remember hanging out there in the middle of the night because it was one of the only things to do.

    • @epichighslowsofhighschoolf3074
      @epichighslowsofhighschoolf3074 4 года назад +16

      target is where it's at

    • @digi3218
      @digi3218 4 года назад +92

      Whenever I drive by the Walmart parking lot in my town, it's always packed! What's weird though is everybody I talk to, they say they've never been there and they don't know anyone who has! Also, somehow I have products that say Great Value on them in my house but my wife doesn't go there either! I mean, I assume that is Walmarts brand.. I wouldn't know..

    • @MrDarrylR
      @MrDarrylR 4 года назад +37

      That's AFTER a Walmart was built just outside town, every retailer on main street couldn't compete and closed down, and there are now only a handful of jobs to support a local middle class or keep educated locals in town.
      Driving cross country off the interstate, and its as if EVERY small town collapsed during a depression or during wartime. And we brought it all on ourselves.

  • @munglescrunkus69
    @munglescrunkus69 4 года назад +809

    The"I dont normally shop here i just came in to get a few things" screams* gunshots* got me so hard 😂

  • @waterdroplets1627
    @waterdroplets1627 6 лет назад +146

    2:04 *"and just to be clear I'm only here because of the hostage situation"* 😂😂yeah right😂

  • @WalterLiddy
    @WalterLiddy 3 года назад +644

    I genuinely pity the staff at Walmart. The crap they put up with from the mutant customers is beyond the pale.

    • @360.Tapestry
      @360.Tapestry 3 года назад +68

      that's what i hear, too. but i wouldn't know because i never go there unless i'm out of toilet paper and light bulbs at the same time

    • @morningstar9233
      @morningstar9233 2 года назад +30

      I don't know anyone who works at Walmart and i've never been to one myself but i'd like to thank you on behalf of their staff who haven't come forward to do so themselves.

    • @Schmuly
      @Schmuly 2 года назад +6

      Seriously though they all seem completely drained I avoid it just cause I feel terrible seeing all their faces

    • @Shiestey
      @Shiestey Год назад +15

      I know this comment is 2 years old, but former Walmart employee here. I worked there during the pandemic when my restaurant was closed and the amount of times I got harassed for not having toilet paper was insane. One time my manager was telling people we would have toilet paper in an hour since the truck was getting unloaded and we literally had to block off the aisle because there were a crowd of 50+ people standing around waiting for me to offload the boxes. I had people reaching over me while I was trying to stock the shelves and I eventually just said “screw this” cut open a few boxes and went on break leaving the people to deal with it themselves.

    • @alvin4100
      @alvin4100 Год назад

      @@Shiestey what is up with toilets and Americans? Why not just use water to clean your ass.

  • @graceyoungmark8314
    @graceyoungmark8314 9 лет назад +1647

    "My sister Ellen's in there... She's not shopping shopping she's just looking for a vacuum cleaner... I mean where else are you gonna find a vacuum cleaner!?!!"

  • @ghostmarine1036
    @ghostmarine1036 4 года назад +241

    I only clicked on this video to look at a few comments, I never actually watched the video about walmart

  • @lo4tr
    @lo4tr 4 года назад +1129

    Okay, fine, I'll admit it. I'm the one who shops at Walmart. You see the cars constantly in the parking lot? Those are all mine.
    I bought them all at Walmart. It is simultaneously the reason I was able to afford so many of them and why it was necessary to have so many of them in the first place.

    • @srsharma
      @srsharma 4 года назад +148

      Are you alright ? Who’s making you say all this?

    • @dhgmrz17
      @dhgmrz17 4 года назад +57

      @@srsharma Sam Walton has been reborn to unleash his revenge upon us. Beware.

    • @nfullenwider
      @nfullenwider 3 года назад +19

      How dreadful!

    • @Lana-Jae
      @Lana-Jae 3 года назад +4

      Hmmm, if you say so

    • @DarkOmegaMK2
      @DarkOmegaMK2 3 года назад +14

      I think this guy is one of the hostages, nod if you are a hostage!

  • @Plaid5912
    @Plaid5912 3 года назад +166

    The Onion is too smart. There is, in fact a Walmart in Dearborn, MI but the crazy thing is that there is a Best Buy right across the street and a Crate & Barrel.

    • @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823
      @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 3 года назад +10

      Well, it's not exactly aerodynamic science.
      There's ALWAYS a Crate n Barrel (or CB2, same thing) and a Best Buy.

    • @IhateAlot718
      @IhateAlot718 2 года назад +2

      Every Walmart I've seen is next to a nest buy

    • @844SteamFan
      @844SteamFan 2 года назад +5

      There’s a Walmart near me with no Best Buy nearby, not that I would go there, there’s just a Target close by.

    • @scottmatheson3346
      @scottmatheson3346 Год назад +1

      @@IhateAlot718 in suburbia, sure. In rural america there's likely not a best buy for hundreds of miles.

  • @TigerOfGermany
    @TigerOfGermany 7 лет назад +257

    Gunman Was Former Employee But "It Was to Pay For Dental School"

  • @rarbiart
    @rarbiart 7 лет назад +256

    I accidently clicked on this video and without "safe browsing". How do i clean wallmart from my browsing history?

    • @firstnamelastname6016
      @firstnamelastname6016 4 года назад

      Arid my dad must’ve watched this video. I mean, I don’t even know what Walmart really is, I never go there, but

  • @eyeofjupiter
    @eyeofjupiter 5 лет назад +98

    I read a headline that said: Shooting breaks out at shopping center in El Paso, instead of saying WalMart and I immediately thought of this.

  • @TomO-nx1bd
    @TomO-nx1bd 5 месяцев назад +8

    I used to only go into Wal-Mart to use their restroom...but recently I've stopped and instead relieve myself behind a garbage dumpster since it's cleaner.

  • @marklance5921
    @marklance5921 8 лет назад +131

    i didn't mean to click on this...its not like I like wallmart or anything...

  • @anon3191
    @anon3191 Год назад +45

    Let me be absolutely clear. This video randomly appeared on my feed , not like I was searching for Walmart.

  • @alphamakc
    @alphamakc 2 года назад +37

    As someone who used to work at walmart I can also say that I have never really been in one, I was working in a office inside the walmart and getting money from an unknown source. Definitely not from Walmart.

  • @leitflux
    @leitflux 3 года назад +22

    "That wouldn't be much better but at least it would be a step up."
    Andrea Bennet is a true legend! 😂😂😂😂

  • @jadenicholexoxo
    @jadenicholexoxo 10 лет назад +984

    I don't even know what Walmart is I swear. I didn't get this video. Never been there so yea. Idk. Walmart. Yea idk what that is. Nope.

    • @leonbishop7404
      @leonbishop7404 6 лет назад

      1st reply to this comment after 4 years! read the other comments, there is an answer

    • @leonbishop7404
      @leonbishop7404 6 лет назад +1

      nah i guess ur joking and im just stoopied. anyway if someone reads this and misunderstand i answer :-)

    • @squamman631
      @squamman631 6 лет назад +20

      Ernest Veloysov shut the fuck

    • @atenakehnaton3965
      @atenakehnaton3965 5 лет назад +1

      Walmart is considered low class and the people that shop there are considered low class as well.

    • @davidrobinson3148
      @davidrobinson3148 5 лет назад +1

      Aten Akehnaton no, you completely missed the joke. Nobody wants to admit that they’re shopping there Because of the fact that Walmart destroys small businesses

  • @dourecognizemefrom2014
    @dourecognizemefrom2014 7 лет назад +305

    Walmart....? What is that a store? I get my groceries somewhere else... I mean if Walmart sells groceries I wouldn't know cause I don't shop there haha

  • @joelfitzgerald1146
    @joelfitzgerald1146 5 лет назад +220

    This is the first thing that popped in my mind after I heard about the mass shooting at Walmart in El Paso 😩

    • @xarukas7649
      @xarukas7649 5 лет назад +65

      Same here. I don’t shop there or anything I just wanted to learn about the shooting.

    • @samuelaurora3632
      @samuelaurora3632 5 лет назад +12

      @@xarukas7649 seriousness aside that was perfectly executed and i lmao

    • @B-mang
      @B-mang 5 лет назад +5

      Too bad more people didn't have concealed firearms, cops suck ass

    • @alexmurphy5289
      @alexmurphy5289 5 лет назад

      @@xarukas7649 LOL

    • @B-mang
      @B-mang 5 лет назад +12

      @nmeunier typical moron response is to ban guns, like every shithole country does, look at all those violent shitholes empowering criminal scum

  • @Banana_Banshee
    @Banana_Banshee 11 дней назад +5

    damn, can’t believe that only 14 years ago people had enough disposable income to feel ashamed at shopping at walmart.

  • @soumilsingh8530
    @soumilsingh8530 5 лет назад +25

    2:03 "....only here because of the hostage situation."
    Sticking to his story until the very end.
    That made me crack up.

  • @dumbass3427
    @dumbass3427 5 лет назад +694

    Lmao this aged like fine wine

    • @orion8829
      @orion8829 5 лет назад +7

      Looking for this comment lol

    • @orion8829
      @orion8829 5 лет назад +1

      Pretty rough😂

    • @AdamBechtol
      @AdamBechtol 4 года назад

      @@orion8829 As was I :p

    • @Cjnw
      @Cjnw 4 года назад +1

      Normie

    • @yeetonaseat6211
      @yeetonaseat6211 4 года назад +4

      Orion Goodman yah if you add just a touch of four gallons of milk

  • @joshingaboutwithjosh
    @joshingaboutwithjosh 10 лет назад +55

    Walmart isn't my first choice when i look up businesses that are found to be regularly on the online news channels. A friend grabbed my computer looked up the link and insisted i watch it

  • @BNack
    @BNack 3 года назад +33

    I only went there to get held hostage not to shop there.

  • @EliasWolf77
    @EliasWolf77 5 лет назад +325

    This just happened in El Paso Texas saw it on Facebook and then on CNN, Onion news was predicting the future..

    • @TechnoMinarchist
      @TechnoMinarchist 5 лет назад +7

      They always predict the future

    • @chado3000
      @chado3000 5 лет назад +17

      The future is easily predictable.

    • @vibalent71
      @vibalent71 5 лет назад +1

      Chado Oh so 9/11 was predictable

    • @h.plovecat4307
      @h.plovecat4307 5 лет назад +11

      @@vibalent71 If we had a perfect understanding of reality, then yes we could have predicted 9/11.

    • @chidi8415
      @chidi8415 5 лет назад

      I'm not from the USA, so I'm curious, why is there a stigma against Wal-Mart?
      Isn't it a billion dollar company?

  • @lonewalkerproductions
    @lonewalkerproductions 5 лет назад +153

    Onion news level of satire has unlocked the innate ability to predict the future

    • @FraserSouris
      @FraserSouris 4 года назад +5

      If you say a coin will come up heads and start flipping, you’ll get heads eventually but that’s not really considered predicting

  • @jessicaclark7130
    @jessicaclark7130 3 года назад +31

    “THEY WERE LEVI’S NOT THE WALMART BRAND”

  • @newgoliard6059
    @newgoliard6059 Год назад +8

    I was mistaken for a Wal-Mart employee once due to an ID badge hanging from my shirt. I was so pissed. 🤨

  • @starbugmechanic5236
    @starbugmechanic5236 Год назад +12

    I’m just watching this to see what a Walmart looks like on the inside…

  • @Jimbogf
    @Jimbogf 6 лет назад +64

    This video was in my recommended videos. Must be an error, I never watch anything about Walmart.

  • @belltolls1984
    @belltolls1984 Год назад +4

    I just fell down a rabbit hole of old Onion videos and am loving it!

  • @SaltyDingleberry3000
    @SaltyDingleberry3000 Год назад +7

    I need to know which countries were nominated ahead of Brazil at the IAF!!!

  • @cautiouslyhopeful
    @cautiouslyhopeful 5 лет назад +44

    The graphics team of the onion is quite impressive

  • @user-ei7ed6zy9k
    @user-ei7ed6zy9k 5 лет назад +41

    i have autoplay on, i didnt accidentally stumble upon this after searching "onions at walmart".

    • @timopper5488
      @timopper5488 4 года назад

      ⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
      🏆🏆🏆

  • @christinacerda4196
    @christinacerda4196 Год назад +11

    They could have gone to the back wearhouse in the store & got out the emergency exit.
    MAYBE! I'm assuming walmart has a back wearhouse & emergency exists but I wouldn't know I never shop at walmart. 😭

  • @kylechristoph6243
    @kylechristoph6243 4 года назад +118

    My heart wants to shop at Trader Joe's, my wallet says "nope, let's go to Wal-Mart"😂

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 2 года назад

      THAT cheap???

    • @username8644
      @username8644 Год назад

      Trader Joe's is actually way more affordable than most stores. You aren't going to spend more at TJs than walmart unless you are stupid. Also TJs are always placed in areas of high populations which means high cost of living. So in comparison to the other stores in the area, TJ will be one of the most affordable, every single time.

  • @blazingfire7517
    @blazingfire7517 3 года назад +65

    2:10 at the bottom of the screen: “Antiviolence campaign focused on around mass shooters to commit suicide before rampages”
    This is why I love The Onion

    • @tommykaung5882
      @tommykaung5882 2 года назад

      Well, in that case, just become a suicide bomber. It would have be more effective.

  • @crypticTV
    @crypticTV Год назад +14

    2:24 Brazil snubbed in the international ass festival 😂😂

  • @runningthor1999
    @runningthor1999 3 года назад +12

    SWAT tTeam having trouble finding this “Walmart, Is it Called?” just made me 😂

  • @GlizzyAssassin
    @GlizzyAssassin Год назад +11

    Ive slept in that same parking lot so many times when I was homeless. 😂
    I mean, I didn't do any shopping there. Just sleeping 👀

  • @AllUsernamesTaken
    @AllUsernamesTaken 5 лет назад +473

    I'm proud of The Onion for keeping this video up despite recent events...

    • @B-mang
      @B-mang 5 лет назад +4

      Maybe cuz they're RAAAAACIIIIIIIIIST!!!

    • @alexmurphy5289
      @alexmurphy5289 5 лет назад +47

      Comedy knows no bounds, it's incredible

    • @B-mang
      @B-mang 5 лет назад +3

      No platforms for racist, we need this video taken down

    • @TBIhope
      @TBIhope 5 лет назад +86

      brian thomas I wouldn’t know. I mean, I don’t shop at Walmart.

    • @yeahokbuddy2510
      @yeahokbuddy2510 5 лет назад +38

      @@B-mang yeah man, we dont shop at walmart lol

  • @internetuser1231
    @internetuser1231 2 года назад +12

    "Tea Party presents three-page national budget" is the most underrated joke I've ever seen from the Onion 😂😂

  • @MrStevemur
    @MrStevemur 4 месяца назад +4

    I'm so old I remember when people were embarrassed about trying to save money.

  • @tothelighthouse9843
    @tothelighthouse9843 Год назад +10

    I only go to Walmart to see who's shopping at Walmart.

  • @legionofbronze996
    @legionofbronze996 2 года назад +21

    Tradition to come here after every Walmart shooting

    • @vangroover1903
      @vangroover1903 2 года назад +2

      At least this time it was staff on staff action, not some poor customer. As if needing to shop at Walmart isn't enough indignity.

  • @sunnycideup4725
    @sunnycideup4725 2 года назад +14

    This is so shameful. I cant believe someone would do this…
    i mean, really? shop in a wallmart? Disgusting.

  • @alicewolfson4423
    @alicewolfson4423 Год назад +7

    At least it's better to be an embarrassed Walmart shopper rather than a Dollar Store hostage!

  • @sarahfks
    @sarahfks 4 месяца назад +3

    I remember when I was 10 in 1989, my classmates were like Kmart and Sears are cheap and once my brother wouldn't go into the dollar store. I still don't understand the logic. It wasn't like any of us was millionaires.

  • @halvorson566
    @halvorson566 5 месяцев назад +4

    Over 13 years later…and I’m still traumatized by this day….i swear I meant to go into the Crate&Barrel, but got distracted….the suspect wouldn’t even put me out of my misery!!

  • @GeneralCane
    @GeneralCane 5 лет назад +11

    These actors amaze me with their authenticity. It would take me 100 takes to record something like this without laughing.

  • @josh24441
    @josh24441 3 года назад +103

    I remember a long time ago that people actually thought the onion was a real news source and would share their videos on Facebook thinking it was real and then write something about the video like “god be with all those people”. I wonder how stupid they feel now…. Lol

    • @bottomless_pit
      @bottomless_pit 3 года назад +8

      Honestly real news is never this fun:))

    • @zaryalace7475
      @zaryalace7475 Год назад +1

      They're not wrong. People who shop at Walmart need God the most.

  • @Baltimoreed
    @Baltimoreed 21 день назад +3

    The Onion feels so much like Monty Python without the British accents, I love it.

  • @1980futureclone
    @1980futureclone 11 лет назад +117

    Sometimes the comments are the funniest part of the video.

    • @laurabrooks8824
      @laurabrooks8824 5 лет назад +2

      You fuckin' A right the comments are the best part

  • @rowelle
    @rowelle 8 лет назад +113

    The shade.. the shade. I've been a subscriber of The Onion for YEARS and this is my first time seeing this! How I miss the old days of The Onion.

    • @rowelle
      @rowelle 7 лет назад +3

      mmm ppp The shade of the customers pretending they don't like Walmart. I'm not saying The Onion is being shady. I miss videos like these from The Onion.

    • @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823
      @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 3 года назад +1

      I miss their simple print edition.

  • @melissakenfield5012
    @melissakenfield5012 2 года назад +8

    what a video for the algorithm to push today

  • @Celisar1
    @Celisar1 2 месяца назад +1

    How could one of the most brilliant satire channels ever go out of production?!?

  • @dysfunctional_autodidact
    @dysfunctional_autodidact Год назад +8

    I'm only here to learn about the hostage situation, not because I shop at Walmart or anything-

  • @brettkane9175
    @brettkane9175 4 года назад +13

    Shopping at Walmart is like watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. They're so successful that clearly a lot of people do it, yet no one you know does it.

    • @hmmm1868
      @hmmm1868 3 года назад

      Calling the Kartrashians successful is like calling Pelousi Hot. They only thing they both do is make Men into little girl's. And Walmart sells their clothing line's.

  • @blanjipan4484
    @blanjipan4484 5 лет назад +24

    The Onion truly is prophetic, isn’t it?

  • @Pyhantaakka
    @Pyhantaakka 3 года назад +9

    Walmart customers are tsundere.

  • @jeffallen5871
    @jeffallen5871 4 года назад +6

    I’m always amazed how they just don’t start cracking up..😂

  • @haydenvanrys2599
    @haydenvanrys2599 4 года назад +60

    I was just here watching this video by coincidence, I had youtube autoplay. It's not as if I ever visit walmart related youtube videos deliberately. As soon as I found out where I was I quickly moved on.

  • @lugia3
    @lugia3 13 лет назад +7

    The first part never ceases to crack me up: "I just ran in here to get a couple of things - NO DON'T SHOOT!"

  • @yourmajestytheinternetuser
    @yourmajestytheinternetuser 3 года назад +21

    Walmart was where I saw the first morbidly obese person ever. My grandfather was secondhand traumatized in another continent to the point where he refused to retire and walks at least 10 kilometers a day with his beloved animals. That’s truly the Walmart experience, and you won’t find it anywhere else.

    • @hmmm1868
      @hmmm1868 3 года назад +2

      Rascal tipping does deter them from coming back. Employees have to go get the forklift in back just to pick them up.

  • @NegativeAccelerate
    @NegativeAccelerate 3 года назад +35

    Lol here in Ireland you get bullied if you go to expensive shops cuz it means ur just paying money to show off how much better u are than everyone. I used to beg my mum to stop shopping in diesel and Hollister and to shop in penny’s like everyone else.
    It’s actually been my goal for a few years to go to a Walmart and see a huge American cheap shopping market with everything you could ever imagine for cheap.

    • @Punkini
      @Punkini 3 года назад +5

      Even in America we make fun of people for spending a ton of Money like gucci and Luis Vuitton (at least where I grew up but I grew up without much money haha)

    • @NegativeAccelerate
      @NegativeAccelerate 3 года назад +4

      @@Punkini haha me too it’s probably different in the richer parts of Ireland. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone wearing Gucci in my life lol

    • @TommyAngelo1337
      @TommyAngelo1337 3 года назад +8

      It's not just about price, but also the bizarre people/culture it attracts. Also Walmart is known for treating their employees like garbage.

    • @georgeaird4637
      @georgeaird4637 2 года назад +1

      I’m from the UK and trust me, when I went to America I realised Walmart is that rubbish and run-down that even just to save money it’s not worth going in there. Its so bad it makes Lidl seem fancy

    • @johnr797
      @johnr797 Год назад

      Walmart in Canada is just like any other supermarket, really. In the US, though, it attracts a... certain type of people. The term "shart in mart" exists for a reason. If you're not easily rattled, you can look up "people of walmart" compilations, just don't say I didn't warn you.

  • @justsumguy2u
    @justsumguy2u 5 лет назад +10

    The Onion's bits are so professional, so well-acted....they've taken satire to a new level

  • @Green232323232
    @Green232323232 2 года назад +11

    Bad timing, youtube recommended bot. Bad timing.

  • @SAVINGEZRA
    @SAVINGEZRA Год назад +2

    “That wouldn’t be nice or anything but at least it would be a step up.” 😂

  • @enzldavaractl8345
    @enzldavaractl8345 4 года назад +55

    oh wow I haven't been to walmart in forever, not that I have ever been there, in fact I don't even really remember what it is, a restaurant or something?

    • @what-jm1pd
      @what-jm1pd 4 года назад +4

      EvB nah its a family resort

    • @LabGecko
      @LabGecko 3 года назад

      @@what-jm1pd With a zoo

  • @andrewf.1598
    @andrewf.1598 3 года назад +8

    “I must have hurt myself getting shoes” lmao

  • @IzThatit
    @IzThatit 5 лет назад +21

    Well, this is awkward...

  • @dvngnt
    @dvngnt 2 года назад +7

    the onion....unfortunately ages well again