American Dream Declared Dead As Final Believer Gives Up
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- Onion News Network, Fridays at 10/9c on IFC. The last vestige of the American Dream slipped away as a Pennington, IL resident quietly laid aside his hope of owning a bar & grill.
This was filmed at my family’s bar years ago. I still remember running around on set eating the snack they had out. We sadly sold the bar a few years ago. It was a really great memory.
sucks man
Sad
huh, so the american dream is actually dead if you had to sell your bar... this video works on so many more levels now
Unfortunate
Respect, man.
"Congress authorizes $200M project to leave more impressive ruins"
I love how sadly accurate this is.
😂😂😂
Except it's now a few billion dollars :(
I missed that! Man, they were so great at satire in their hay day.
Well we gotta do better than the Pyramides at least. Centuries from now when Earth finally becomes liveable again and humanity reclaims it, they can't think that the Egypthians did better than we did.
Danny Sullivan this is also hilarious giving our infrastructure maintenance problems
LOL, that intro was comedy before it's time.
"This is the Onion News Network... Now with more attack satellites than any other network".
Justin Silvers oh yeah yeah
@@alph5230 oh yeah yeah
It wasn’t before its time. It was the golden days when hard satire peaked. Think it’s going to get better? Doubt.
Love this channel, just wish I discovered it sooner
One of my high school friends interned for the Onion during their golden years. He moved on and now works for Pixar I think. Probably a smart move.....
Still waiting on "Fire - Man's Ultimate Frenemy"
+Nick Ziklim It's on in 2 weeks, after 'Taking water down a peg or two'
Absolutely
It keeps getting delayed. It’s now been put behind “Air -The Absent Killer”, and “Earth - Crushing Us Under” which are still in pre-production.
those who's supposed to make it... still haven't put their pants on.
They misspelled "wife"
Tommy still can't use cash register
he's being torn apart by Lisa
Tuffy still hasn't put his pants on.
Just busting your balls and Tommy wants to increase the minimum wage so he can get paid more for a job he can’t even get right.
Thats one mistake you can make working at a reatraunt. Dont ever learn anyone elses job or your employer will then expect for you to step up and do it. They wont give you additional money just expect you to do more shit.
Thank You.
Did you feel anything when the American Dream died?
“Nah, not really... kind of hungry, I guess”
Damn it! You just beat me to it by six months.
@@robertwhitten265 Beat you to what? Needlessly transcripting the video?
Like a true American
@@obiwac hey could you not interrupt a scripted conversation? me and my fiverr buddies are trying to make some honest seo cents here
wow it's even better when you say it
“I was gonna make him a plaque, but then I was like ‘eh, why bother’”
Too real.
People always say it's the thought that counts...and I hold em to that.
The American Dream.....you have to be asleep to believe it.
***** RIP George.
Connor Snowberger
Yeah....props to George Carlin.
exon exon Who's a big boy?
Shut up
@@bleumann9774props to who? That low life subversive sack of shit carlin? fuck him
I realized it was noon and I hadn't put my pants on..haha
Omega Paradigm 86 I relate to this too well
@@LemystereManCarloc me too.
at least he was awake.
@@ThePkmage Yup, I am laying in bed right now, watching this, I haven't even gotten up, let alone dressed or eaten, and it is approaching 1:00 in the afternoon!
😞
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a scientists when I grew up.
Once I had just grown up, I put myself through college, working part-time because I wanted to be a professional scientist working in an academic setting!
In my 30's I went from trying to get into Grad school, to studying computer programming, so I could do that, ideally for a small business, but a large bank or government organization was Okay, too!
NOW, that bank has folded, and this year I got laid off from my job working part-time as a night janitor, and all I want is for _them_ to hire me back! 😭😭😭
Part of the problem is that I no longer _want_ anything else, anymore! 😭😭
😢👋 💨👻(⬅️my soul)
same... _haha... ha_
This video spoke to me. While I was watching it I heard a loud crash outside. I looked out the window and didn't see anything so I went about my business which was watching The Onion. Then I saw this little gem. I thought to myself, hey man, they're talking about me! I wouldn't get up off my but to investigate a noise cause I was too comfy and lackluster. So I decided to change a few things. I don't want to be like Tuffy! Long story short, my neighbor had a truck load of fire wood delivered to his house and they dumped it on his driveway.
So much awesome.
Good for you man
I thought you're going to say that loud crash was your American Dream dying at the same time as Tuffy's haha
Well I'm glad you were able to fulfil your dream of investigating the noise. Inspirational.
I think we found our new Morgan Freeman for every narration roll you’ll say yes to, right here in this comment section!!!! Now we just have to wait for the current Morgan to pass and your American dream created by somebody that’s not you becomes a reality!
Don't feel bad, Tuffy. I don't own a business and almost never have my pants on my noon.
I dont even own pants
@@hannibalburgers477 what are pants?
@@unbanrofellos5786 what are ?
@@heatherperleberg7816 What?
facts.
In a world full of fake news, it's good to see some real shit again
Real shit from 2011
@@Gwynplaine4 says who
It's in the video description...
Funny how the most real news are the satirical ones, like Onion News. The reason why satire is so effective is because everyone else is feeding us horseshit. In a perfectly honest world, there would be no need for satire.
@@PaleBlueDott There's facts and there's attitudes and how you interpret & contextualize facts. Just because you don't agree with how some news programs present you the news doesn't mean they're fake. As long as people can have different opinions & attitudes there will be a place for satire.
It's sad when the Onion has to switch to absurd reality instead of reality satire because you just can't make it ridiculous enough anymore. It just sounds like regular news in todays America.
I think its a good thing that they stopped making these. I wouldn't want any modern ones in the back of my head
@DESS DESS you can't be saying that with a profile picture and a username like that
@@grovercleveland8572 they've left that job to the imagination, it's getting harder to be ridiculous in a ridiculous world
EDIT: Our imagination
@@angelaklassen7444 Damn
The onions recepie for success finally revealed:
They hired nostradamus.
CAN FIRE BE TRUSTED?!
No, it's evil.
.@@nicholsjoshua15 Pure..
...Or???
It’s not to be untrusted
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!
Yes.
I really want to see that report on fire
Me too, I also want to see that reporter on fire.
@@flybeep1661 REPORT NOT REPORTER DUMBASS, FFS SMH
:P
Tune into IFC®, then.
I was gonna make him a plaque, but then I was like, "Eh, why bother." 😂
Haha
Here is a partly political broadcast on behalf of the APATHY party.
"Americans done trying to make Founding Fathers proud of them" I felt that
Wish other Americans would follow suit and accept that some old racist fuddy-duddies were not 100% comprehensive in their formation of this utopia we're all basking in.
@@tweex1 I mean, America has been the richest country on Earth for like 150 years now, not an utopia by any means but we can all say that whatever the founding fathers' project was, it definetely succeded.
@@Vitorruy1 Funny how the richest country on earth has so many people poor, in prison, and shooting each other in school. Huge success, though, such money, much billionaires, wow. Also so many homeless! Those are great for scaring the impoverished and struggling families into working themselves to the bone, or just literally to death, just to try to survive and keep their hovels. But at least churches don't have to pay tax - all of their money shouldn't go to helping the poor!
@@hazukichanx408 Well a utopia is actually actually impossible because people want to be carefree to be living in leisure but thats not what you really want because trust me bro being in creative mode is the most boring thing.
@@hazukichanx408 Sir, I must say that, if your intent here was to misinform, keep trying! Someday you will reach it.
1:35 - Group of guys talking at party solve Mideast crisis
Crimea_River Had to give you a 👍🏾 and a treat for that username
That name is good shit
Lmao
How many drunk guys standing around in a circle, passing the bottle around, have theoretically already solved many of the world's problems? I dare say many such groups did. But noone got any wind of it because they're "insignificant".
@@evieni1465 you know you can't just solve a problem with only an idea? So they didn't solve many problems then
I propose a successor to the (now defunct) American Dream, the American Stretch Goal!
Stretch goal is dead thanks to Secure Act- inherited IRA's from non-spouse must be liquidated w/in 10 years or forfeit all money left.
America has been stretching for far too long.
This year we need to change it to MASA. Make America Slim Again.
After giving up on the American Dream, I let fire move in to help out with the rent... Boy, was that a mistake. Frenemy indeed.
You definitely want to keep fire at a distance.
He'll still stick beside you, cook your food, and keep you warm even if he trashes the house. He may be a bit volatile, but he always has your back....except when he's on it.
Oh no 😮 maybe call 2:29 Kranowicz Heating and Cooling?
Tuffy's description of his day sounds eerily like my RUclips run. :(
The Onion® are Liberandus...!!!!°
@@maazkalim It's a satire channel.
Yup
"It's called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it..." - George Carlin
I know this is a old comment but that quote belongs to a guy who gets paid to talk on a stage, if the job of "saying shit on a stage and pursuing my idea of art" isn't the fucking american dream I don't know what is. My family went from oil workers to lawyers in a generation. Literally adapt, find something, the whole point of oppurtunity is it isn't easy and it may never come to you but u buy into this nihilistic garbage and your family will never get there
It's called a dream because it's unrealistic once you look into it.
@@sometimeslol5578
Yours is less old but it is riddled with fallacies, and as a resident internet person who knows these it's my duty to inform you of the following
Attacking the source doesn't change the validity of an argument, that's called a genetic fallacy. There are hundreds of self-made rich people true, but for each of them there are millions of people wallowed in debt or unable to move or find work through no fault of their own.
The second one, while congrats to you and your family, is also an anecdote (and also kind of hearsay in the fact that I have no way of knowing if you're lying your entire ass off nor an oath to confirm), not evidence. The idea of the American Dream and Meritocracy, while common, isn't that true, (specifically in terms of socioeconomic and intergenerational mobility when controlling for race, gender, and other factors) in which America far lags behind the vast majority of developed nations.
I got sources if you want to read up on it, though I will say it is pretty depressing
www.americanprogress.org/issues/economy/news/2006/04/26/1917/understanding-mobility-in-america/
www.nytimes.com/2012/01/05/us/harder-for-americans-to-rise-from-lower-rungs.html?sq=mobility&st=cse&scp=1&pagewanted=all
@@seanwaddell2659 learn to make a concise point, u can type ten pages worth of a comment and get a million likes and it means nothing if I don't read it, life isn't a debate class your goal is to connect with me and change my mind or more likely it's to make yourself feel superior by typing a ton. Regardless Carlin is a hypocrite as he complains about the rich while being the rich and says no one can make it while he has made it, don't get sucked into the retail and service industry hole and you'll do fine in America.
@@sometimeslol5578
way to be butthurt dude. None of those refute the sources or the facts, my guy
The guys plays the part of himself so perfectly
“I was gonna make him a plaque, but then I was like ‘eh, why bother?’”
The dream is dead and now so am I...
🅱
@@santicheeks1106 🆗
Hey bro, didn’t know I’d find you here
AH! I knew it! I finally found the actual report of when it happened. I just had to find the actual real news.
I like how reporters came to his house when he realized the American Dream died even though they weren’t told.
"And then I realized that it was noon and I hadn't even put my pants on...and there was not a chance in hell that I was ever gunna start a chain of bars." 😂
13 years ago, and the effects are still felt to this day
“Did you feel anything when the American dream died?”
“No, kind of hungry I guess”
Yup, 12 years ago definitely coincides with Americans ditching the statement "I may not agree with what they say, but I'd die to defend their right to say it"
the mayans were right
This really speaks to me. I realized it was November 2021 and hadn't put my pants on since March 2020
The Onion and the Simpsons were the profits of our day.
It's prophet
"then I was like eh...why bother" OMFG I DIED
And some parallel universe the onion is perfectly accurate
That is this universe
"Well I got to get back to the bar, Tommy doesn't know how to use the register"
The delivery of this line leaves me in stiches. Just perfect.
the DRIPPING sarcasm and absolutely dark and poignant pure comedy in not only the dialogue but also delivery and visual cues is STAGGERING
You’re supposed to report the news, not the future 😂
"What happened to the American Dream? It came true."
- Rorshach, Watchmen
*****
Oh Christ, your right
+DarkW0lverine Actually, the Comedian said that.
"Who watches the watchmen?" - Pitbull
Sorry to bother you about an old comment but, do you mind replacing the name Rorshach with The Comedian? Click the little squares on the far right side of your comment.
wasnt it the comedian that said it?
1:07 "So I woke up this morning and I decided I tried to get myself together" that's literally The Sopranos intro 😭
This is subtly motivating...
“It is called the American dream cause you have to be asleep to believe it” -George Carlin
I am always amazed by the level of acting skills in The Onion, even the background actors are point on.
1:20 the line "Americans done trying to make Founding Fathers proud of them" kinda hurts.
I remember when the American Dream died for me. I used to have all these hopes and a belief that this country was brimming with opportunity. After pursing a number of opportunities they all went down with either corrupt beurocracy, competitive sabotage, or were just not worth the effort to maintain while sustaining a barely comfortable lifestyle. I'm doing well enough for myself these days but am no longer wasting time, effort, and energy on idealistic ventures. Just working to get by and avoid trouble, setting a low but realistic bar for expectations, and ironically this mindset is what gets me through the day now.
“Can fire be trusted!?? “
This aged like milk, or like wine. I cant even tell, is there an american dream anymore?
It was just that...a dream.
Fire: Man's ultimate Frenemy
I would watch that
The American Dream always dies when I wake up
I am always impressed that their acting is so natural.
Thank you youtube, I've never heard of the Onion before. It may be 9 years late but I needed this right now.
It’s great that over the years the actual news has become more silly than these skits
" Group of guys talking at a party solve Mideast crisis" LMAO
To quote another commenter, "the Onion is news from the future."
Kinda concerned how The Onion read this guy’s mind and showed up to his house moments after he realized the dream died.
The Onion is my safe space in this terrible dimension we live in.
*Nobody's talking about the other TV interviews going on in the background...* Nice touch 😂
“Fire - Man’s Ultimate Frenemy” is not absurd enough for a segment at all. Like, true, there’s pros and cons to using fire!
This youtube channel doesn't have enough viewers! I just came across this one while watching actual news and this is one of the funniest things ever!
"Did you feel anything when the American Dream died?"
*H U N G R Y*
We've all felt like that guy, but lets face it; he's still ahead of a whole lot of us cos he runs his own business, whereas for most of us, our time and efforts are owned by someone else.
2011: "The American dream is dead."
2020: "You have no idea." 😖
Meh, why bother. It is what it is. You know the thing! I dont really care..... They call me the Grim Reaper.
@@migs7220 exactly! I did my part and voted for Howie Hawkins of the Green Party, but like 99% of the country is brainwashed as... you know the thing! 🤦♂️
Its funny how they chose someone who looks exactly like the kind of guy who would believe in such stuff.
She had a dream of making Tuffy a plaque, but that dream died, too.
“Eh, why bother?”
Whole mood
"Eh, why bother?" 😁
Sometimes I watch The Onion and think to myself, maybe it was never meant to be funny.
"Tuffy`s dream was to serve burgers, poppers, to locals" Now that's a bar I would want to go to
“Fire, Man’s ultimate Frenemy”
Finding some old, relatively obscure movie on TV and going “I forgot how good this was” is such a mood
The Onion is the last great bastion of American journalism.
nah, it's been compromised. the good videos are all from 7 to 12 years ago
All Gas No Brakes has got you for some good gonzo journalism. But The Onion has predicted the future.
"Can fire be trusted?" Fucking genious.
Golden days of the Onion.
I wish they actually made that fire story.
"It's called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it"
"Dreams don't die...we kill them."-Gene Kelly
Died in the 1970s deindustrialization in Rust Belt states.
This dude's rambling monologue is so damn funny.
This is contraversal i know, but... I do trust fire.
"Ffffiirre" -Beavis
I also agree.
I really need the fire segment
UK: _Scribbling Down the name of Middlesbrough_
US: Hey man, can I copy your homework?
UK: Ok, just change it a bit.
US: *Middlesbury.*
UK: Am I a joke to you?
cool ralsei pfp
@@PadsterX Oh thanks. 😅
Not much of an artist usually, but I drew it myself.
I don't see an American Dream. All I see is an American nightmare
wait, everybody gonna ignore that they have more attack satellites then any other news stations?
Most dreams die without pants on.
Well, I’m a now retired lobbyist and I just don’t understand the problem. Why, I could live off my Lockheed Martin dividends alone!
The American dream is very much alive, in Europe. You have far better chances to go from dishwasher to millionaire in Europe than you have in America.
money.com/money/4275080/american-dream-europe-australia/
www.forbes.com/sites/alanohnsman/2019/03/01/tesla-safety-violations-dwarf-big-us-auto-plants-in-aftermath-of-musks-model-3-push/
Yes, reallllly sounds like a dream
her face when she said "okay thank you for that"
It's not funny in a "haha" kinda way, it's funny in an "oh god..." prescient kind of way.
And here we are...
adults have known for a hot minute that its always been a nightmare
"As long as we can still drink without our shirts on..."
Me: drinking shirtless watching this lmao
Hahah this actually isn’t even about the dream dying per se, just some guy realizing his own personal limitations. The way he casually throws in “and I forgot how good it was” while rolling through his story is too sharp. So damn funny
RPF Creates no shit
That's what makes this skit so genius. The american dream is an illusion, very few people actually rise to any superfluous level of wealth.
@@DanielFerreira-ez8qdI think it's more about the people that say the American dream is dead is people that really didn't try to achieve it. It is still thing but people take their own individual experience and say the whole thing is dead because they can't cope with failure so they blame something supposedly bigger than them like society or the government.
@@megathicc6367dude made his own bar. The American dream is a myth made to keep you hoping you'll someday be of a higher class if you just keep working.
@@thesnowmiser6728 you can. There's plenty of success stories out there of just that.
The Unted States:
-- 27th in upward mobility
-- 37th in healthcare costs, access, and outcomes.
-- Prescription medications an average of four times the cost of any other advanced country that regulates costs.
-- 1st among advanced nations in childhood poverty at 32% and growing.
-- The lowest minimum wage of any advanced country BY FAR.
-- Number one in childhood gun deaths.
-- 2nd highest newborn mortality rate in the advanced world.
-- The highest incarceration rate IN THE WORLD.
@DONALD CHRIST TRUMP Of course, why would I ever expect a Trump supporter to ever acknowledge facts?
@DONALD CHRIST TRUMP Please tell me your been sarcastic.
@DONALD CHRIST TRUMP file for bankruptcy twice and go to jail then. follow your leader you chump
@@donaldchristtrump567I guess if a person looked like their logic, a hardcore political supporter would resemble a biblically-accurate angel... or a Lovecraftian horror.
Start with pretzel logic, add some blind loyalty, a hefty dose of doublethink and let soak in a scandal or three for a few news cycles.
Voila! A perfect loyalist. You don't have to find a hand to shake, because they don't deserve to touch you anyway.
I kinda forgot that pre-pandemic it was sad to have not put pants on before noon
The American dream is only just a fantasy
Fantasies are hot.
Always was
The American dream is just that, only seems real when someone is asleep
Synonym for a dream
Food coma. That might be more achievable.
Tommy doesn't know how to use the register. A bunch of drunk people waiting on Tommy.
Rip
This is as relevant now as it was at the time. Ageless.
"eh, why bother ?" only way to peace
*American dream dies*
Man: "I feel hungry."
This is how my dreams are dying too. I indifferently shrug them off as I bounce from video to video.
Can fire be TRUSTED?!?!?!?!?!