Conan Busts Jordan Schlansky & His Elitist Espresso Machine | CONAN on TBS

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  • Опубликовано: 13 мар 2013
  • Jordan bought a fancy $500 Italian espresso machine on the company dime, so Conan is out for revenge.
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    ABOUT CONAN ON TBS
    Airing weeknights since 2010, CONAN on TBS is home to topical monologues, remote segments, celebrity interviews, musical performances and stand-up from the top comedians in the world. Watch highlights, outtakes and behind the scenes footage of Conan palling around with sidekick Andy Richter, tormenting Associate Producer Jordan Schlansky and playing the latest video games on Clueless Gamer.
    ABOUT TEAM COCO
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    Conan Busts Jordan Schlansky & His Elitist Espresso Machine | CONAN on TBS
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Комментарии • 7 тыс.

  • @punkivy9776
    @punkivy9776 5 лет назад +14531

    The rare Schlansky smile.
    “I didn’t want to spend your money needlessly.”

    • @peni80085
      @peni80085 4 года назад +232

      This must be the one and only time I've seen him smiling 😂

    • @skz8341
      @skz8341 4 года назад +29

      omg finally

    • @tomtomson648
      @tomtomson648 4 года назад +386

      Im pretty sure they had to do several takes of this, you can see Jordan almost starting to laugh many times. Pretty hard to keep a straight face when Conan keeps talking stupid stuff to you.

    • @blasphemer1992
      @blasphemer1992 4 года назад +106

      @@peni80085 he actually laughs in a video where they go wine tasting, and also when they are planning their trip to italy, check them out lol

    • @thisguyrighthere3647
      @thisguyrighthere3647 4 года назад +64

      He's holding back a lot in this one. When the other coffee machine comes out.

  • @jordanschlansky594
    @jordanschlansky594 4 года назад +28286

    I love my espresso machine.

    • @Ppyongppyong-se7mt
      @Ppyongppyong-se7mt 4 года назад +303

      Jordan Schlansky LOLLL😂

    • @lilblinder11
      @lilblinder11 4 года назад +290

      i stole one of your collection of action figures

    • @cyberdaniboy
      @cyberdaniboy 4 года назад +225

      So Jordan, we still haven't gotten a clear answer. What is it you do or rather did at the show at the time of this airing?

    • @juangroups9478
      @juangroups9478 4 года назад +107

      Don't be suprised if your coffee machine is in Africa, helping little children have a drinkie winkie.

    • @jordanschlansky594
      @jordanschlansky594 4 года назад +175

      Conan I don’t think that’s necessary

  • @user-lc5uh4ic1z
    @user-lc5uh4ic1z 3 года назад +3592

    Three separate references to Hitler, Mussolini, and Osama bin Laden within the span of thirty seconds. I love Conan

    • @timmccarthy872
      @timmccarthy872 2 года назад +48

      "If I was stuck in a room with Hitler, Mussolini, bin Laden, and Jordan Schlansky, and I had a gun with three bullets, I would shoot Jordan three times"

    • @AquaWeiner
      @AquaWeiner 2 года назад +6

      @@timmccarthy872 XD! Monsieur Scott

    • @user-ir6mk6me7t
      @user-ir6mk6me7t 2 года назад +8

      @@timmccarthy872 Tim, you tried to be funny but you went too far. How would you do it geniuses?

    • @blikpak1775
      @blikpak1775 2 года назад +1

      @@timmccarthy872 😆 😆 😆

    • @jordanschlansky4093
      @jordanschlansky4093 2 года назад +1

      That's why he's called the GOAT

  • @kissofdeath4449
    @kissofdeath4449 2 года назад +2851

    "I didn't want to spend your money needlessly."
    It's so clever and funny even Jordan wanted to laugh at his own joke.

  • @alZiiHardstylez
    @alZiiHardstylez 5 лет назад +18653

    "I didn't want to spend your money needlessly"
    I love how he breaks there. Brilliant dynamic.

    • @RWD1907
      @RWD1907 4 года назад +564

      Thought the same, when I watched it. It's this slight grin on his face. He almost broke charakter there. Really funny guy.

    • @nl7352
      @nl7352 4 года назад +90

      it’s not called breaking, it’s called smiling stoopihh

    • @nl7352
      @nl7352 4 года назад +14

      mike westbrook You liked a video called quagmire has sex with joe stop cappin’

    • @nl7352
      @nl7352 4 года назад +3

      Dead Evans Intentions were not 2 act like that

    • @nl7352
      @nl7352 4 года назад +6

      mike westbrook I don’t care about subscribers

  • @Erik-ho7hi
    @Erik-ho7hi 5 лет назад +7007

    "The Fuhrer was behind fewer doors in his bunker". 😂

    • @christianmcbrearty
      @christianmcbrearty 4 года назад +49

      I died 😂😂😂

    • @anthonygrant7676
      @anthonygrant7676 4 года назад +234

      “If osama bin laden was cringing by this coffee machine he would be still alive today”

    • @_VHwK
      @_VHwK 4 года назад +34

      the Führer. its a german word...

    • @anthonygrant7676
      @anthonygrant7676 4 года назад +1

      _ VHwK it’s kind of the same meaning the mean hitler and other ones

    • @BlueFlash215
      @BlueFlash215 4 года назад +3

      @@_VHwK it is an English word that derives from a German word

  • @latch_key
    @latch_key 4 года назад +7180

    Jeez this is 7 years old. Anyone else on a Conan binge while being in lockdown?

    • @susanallison183
      @susanallison183 4 года назад +45

      Visits with Jordan never get old...

    • @rainreinaa
      @rainreinaa 4 года назад +7

      Still not available in my country :(

    • @ryadh456
      @ryadh456 4 года назад +2

      Me

    • @NinepinsKnave
      @NinepinsKnave 4 года назад +4

      Just saw the video with Jordan transformed by fashionable clothing from the brand Chinatown Market for the first time today. Amazing!

    • @tamarabaeza6458
      @tamarabaeza6458 4 года назад +2

      Here 🙋‍♀️

  • @SharikSobaka
    @SharikSobaka 2 года назад +817

    “I’m noticing that you talk about United States and Americans almost with contempt. Do you realize-that you’re from *BUFFALO* ?” I died lmao 🤌🏻😂

    • @emiliaescobar7652
      @emiliaescobar7652 2 года назад +3

      Please, you two, don't stop making these skits!!!!!!!!

  • @scamrasc
    @scamrasc 5 лет назад +4769

    Deadpan monotone: "I want you to understand that it's not my responsibility to be forthcoming or make announcements of any kind. I suggest..." Dude could be a lawyer

    • @govindraghavan9493
      @govindraghavan9493 4 года назад +63

      @Austin Faulds Or both

    • @jja1483
      @jja1483 4 года назад +86

      Govind Raghavan a serial killer that defends himself in court if he ever got caught 😂😆😃😅

    • @denizcan6032
      @denizcan6032 4 года назад +9

      @@jja1483 Ted Bundy ?

    • @attractdirect
      @attractdirect 4 года назад +1

      A lawyer

    • @DreamyDoughBoy
      @DreamyDoughBoy 4 года назад +1

      My like is the golden blue button that hit 1k in this comment. For real. No kidding. :)

  • @positronicreflex.
    @positronicreflex. 4 года назад +2256

    To this day, I call a single biscotto by its proper name thanks to Jordan.

    • @hussydahustla
      @hussydahustla 3 года назад +88

      Same 😂. I say it in my head like a snobby elitist.

    • @Neto808
      @Neto808 2 года назад +41

      The same applies to cannolo/cannoli

    • @polobik4231
      @polobik4231 2 года назад +17

      salame/salami too

    • @NickC-Ohio
      @NickC-Ohio 2 года назад +11

      That was such a perfect demonstration of exactly what Conan mocks in him

    • @MultiGemgirl
      @MultiGemgirl Год назад +1

      when he said that I thought of course it is

  • @ryanthomas49
    @ryanthomas49 3 года назад +7461

    Ellen WISHES she had this much chemistry and fun with her staff.

    • @yukimatsuda5400
      @yukimatsuda5400 3 года назад +59

      Well she has and Mitch.... other scapegoat people

    • @salamatpo7326
      @salamatpo7326 3 года назад +4

      Lol

    • @robertan.2491
      @robertan.2491 3 года назад +3

      She does all the time

    • @ryanthomas49
      @ryanthomas49 3 года назад +161

      @@robertan.2491 no she doesn't.

    • @robertan.2491
      @robertan.2491 3 года назад +19

      @@ryanthomas49 yeah she does, I've been watching her show for years and there are plenty videos like this on RUclips with her staff. But you are clearly one of the sheep to jump on the hate train because some of her staff did not have a good experience there. Well some other staff members love working there.

  • @jordonschlansky
    @jordonschlansky 3 года назад +2200

    I have various duties, my title is associate producer.

    • @RobertMichael
      @RobertMichael 3 года назад +12

      What do you do?

    • @jordonschlansky
      @jordonschlansky 3 года назад +132

      @@RobertMichael Like I mentioned, various duties.

    • @asaniwasabi
      @asaniwasabi 3 года назад +8

      Are you secretly hiding a secret butchering bunker under all that clutter in your office?

    • @rachelf3625
      @rachelf3625 3 года назад +2

      I love the back and forth between you two!

    • @habzmiah
      @habzmiah 3 года назад +3

      Surely this is not the real Jordan profile.

  • @schana96
    @schana96 5 лет назад +1684

    Jordan cracking up slightly when he says "I didn't wanna spend your money needlessly" is so good

    • @mattgelfer
      @mattgelfer 3 года назад +38

      Jordan breaking character is life giving

    • @Dizzydawne
      @Dizzydawne Год назад +9

      I hate how no one mentions him breaking when Conan introduces his replacement “coffee” maker with something that wasn’t even made from a coffee company 😂😂😭 that right there was a jackpot of laughter for me

  • @MrAlexLowen
    @MrAlexLowen 4 года назад +5501

    I think that when Jordan said the "biscotti" line, Conan was honestly surprised and realized the guy had high potential for future comedy situations.

    • @joeface123123
      @joeface123123 4 года назад +328

      MrAlexLowen He’s know that Jordan is great for comedy bits for a while now xD

    • @whatamiwatching2183
      @whatamiwatching2183 4 года назад +360

      Jordan was part of bits years before this came out but I see what you mean it does seem like it caught him off guard

    • @ADetailedHouse
      @ADetailedHouse 4 года назад +93

      Emad Ahmed He was surprised, bc Jordan corrected him when he said biscotti, which is the plural form....who knows that?!? Only Jordan.

    • @abdulazizal-amri75
      @abdulazizal-amri75 4 года назад +9

      I do...so am I Jordan now👀

    • @Moggetslittlesister
      @Moggetslittlesister 4 года назад +53

      @@abdulazizal-amri75 It's more like, who cares enough about Italian to correct Conan's use of a term that has entered English as a plural. Only Jordan.

  • @deadbutmoving
    @deadbutmoving 3 года назад +448

    Jordan Schlansky did nothing wrong. He merely "suggested" the purchase of the espresso machine. How it got to it's location, why Jordan's office is behind 7 doors, and why the machine's display language is in Italian is not his fault or responsibility. He even did the staff a favor and wrote down instructions on how to use the machine to make a proper Italian espresso. This man is a hero and a great fake Italian.

    • @Baronnax
      @Baronnax 5 месяцев назад +23

      Alright Jordan, take a walk.

    • @JakeKoenig
      @JakeKoenig 2 месяца назад +7

      "Jordan's office isn't behind seven doors. There is clearly a normal straight hallway leading to several offices, including Jordan's office at the end of the hall. Conan chose the complicated meandering route to fabricate a narrative about Jordan making himself and the espresso machine inaccessible to the other employees."
      That was my impression of how Jordan would respond to your comment. And technically it's true of you look at the blueprint.

  • @justaverage94
    @justaverage94 3 года назад +1842

    “It has a simple ON/OFF switch, in English, because God bless America, you son of a bitch.” Pure gold

    • @spongmongler6760
      @spongmongler6760 3 года назад +18

      except the English language has nothing to do with the US nor America.

    • @tiberiussempronious6252
      @tiberiussempronious6252 3 года назад +32

      @@spongmongler6760 - buzz kill

    • @jonasseorum5471
      @jonasseorum5471 2 года назад +24

      @@spongmongler6760 Of course it does, it's the main spoken and official language of the USA so I would say it has alot to do with it.

    • @spongmongler6760
      @spongmongler6760 2 года назад +12

      @@jonasseorum5471 the US was equally likely to make German its "official language". USicans can't speak English properly, they speak it poorly. the only reason they do speak English is because politicians wanted it. sorry bro

    • @spongmongler6760
      @spongmongler6760 2 года назад +2

      @Dacholo well done, you can read. you want a cookie?

  • @AJsVIEW
    @AJsVIEW 5 лет назад +3278

    Jordan's comebacks are simply brilliant lol

    • @wayneurquhart1967
      @wayneurquhart1967 4 года назад +91

      He used various comebacks.

    •  4 года назад +7

      It is like he is writing those for living :D

    • @johndinh5113
      @johndinh5113 4 года назад

      Nemanja Nedeljković f

    • @aussiemenace6897
      @aussiemenace6897 4 года назад +1

      Yeah for someone that likes ripping off good people.

    • @trickytreyperfected1482
      @trickytreyperfected1482 4 года назад +4

      @@wayneurquhart1967 If you say various one more time I will call the police and have you arrested.

  • @VideoDeadGaming
    @VideoDeadGaming 8 лет назад +4698

    Dang it, i've now run out of Conan/Jordan videos to watch

    • @ml3gar628
      @ml3gar628 8 лет назад +8

      same 😂😂😂

    • @IhateUrFuckinFace
      @IhateUrFuckinFace 8 лет назад +75

      +VideoDeadGaming *Me too. So do what I do. Take a few months and then come back and watch them all over again.*

    • @Itsgsun604
      @Itsgsun604 8 лет назад

      haha i watched them all too! fuqin awesome videos

    • @DeepbloodFang
      @DeepbloodFang 8 лет назад

      +VideoDeadGaming ditto, they are the best XD

    • @thatonedork3607
      @thatonedork3607 8 лет назад +1

      Same this is the last one I hadn't watched

  • @monumentsNmelodies
    @monumentsNmelodies Год назад +563

    I swear these Conan remote's/bits with Jordan and the Crew helped get me through the last 2 1/2 years. No matter how many times I've seen them they still cheer me up.

  • @owenpattaylor
    @owenpattaylor 3 года назад +215

    5:31 seeing jordan slightly break as conan was describing the new coffee machine was great

    • @punkrockdavid
      @punkrockdavid 7 месяцев назад +6

      Good eye! He was really trying not to burst

  • @Mankind5490
    @Mankind5490 8 лет назад +2980

    Here's a challenge:
    Try to pretend you're Jordan and keep a straight face as Conan is talking to you.

    • @adflictusiocus9819
      @adflictusiocus9819 8 лет назад +53

      +Ektadizzle Why would that be hard? Human expressions - as you surely know - are tools of communication. Communication is transmitting data. Most of that data is useless or impossible to interpret. Therefore your challenge makes little sense.

    • @Mankind5490
      @Mankind5490 8 лет назад +33

      Adflictus Iocus chill

    • @MrTophatreaper
      @MrTophatreaper 8 лет назад +85

      +Adflictus Iocus calm down Jordan 2.0

    • @MrMotherfuck123
      @MrMotherfuck123 8 лет назад +8

      +Ektadizzle It is absolutely obvious that Conan sorta adores Schlansky for his almost Dictator-Like Discipline.

    • @adflictusiocus9819
      @adflictusiocus9819 8 лет назад +14

      +MrTophatreaper No. You calm down. You seem to bee psychologically distressed by my comment. That to me is amusing. There are various ways you can resolve this psychological "knot".

  • @daxoze
    @daxoze 6 лет назад +713

    The biscotti/biscotto argument absolutely kills me every time. It's quintessential Jordan.

    • @andreafranco5551
      @andreafranco5551 5 лет назад +48

      I'm italian and for me that clarification it's like porn

    • @shapes9495
      @shapes9495 5 лет назад +3

      papa bless

  • @Onio_
    @Onio_ 4 года назад +843

    ESPRESSO 101 (instructions shown):
    Despite what is often served in the US, a proper normal shot of espresso is 25 ml (approximately 1 ounce) and has half the caffeine of a standard 6 oz. cup of American coffee.
    This machine dispenses a normal 25 ml shot, and will correctly fill only 1/4 of the 4 ounce paper Lavazza espresso cups.
    *1. Open the small center drawer under the control panel screen, insert a new sealed LAVAZZA espresso capsule UPSIDE DOWN into back of drawer until properly seated, and close the drawer.*
    *2. Position one paper espresso cup on UPPER platform tray, centered beneath the large dispenser head. The 2 spouts built into the head will fill one cup.*
    *3. Once the display screen says "PRONTO", press ANY of the 4 buttons on the right side of the control panel. Contrary to what the pictures may show, they will all dispense the exact same 25 ml espresso shot.*
    *4. After brewing finished, wait a few seconds longer until all of the espresso is completely dispensed into the cup. Used capsule does NOT need to be removed.*
    Do NOT press any of the buttons on the left side of the control panel. We do not have the steam wand attachment. You cannot make a cappuccino with this machine. The spout on the right is not functional.

    • @largol33t1
      @largol33t1 3 года назад +63

      Funny that the machine costs several hundred bucks and he didn't upgrade to the steam wand option! It would be hilarious if Conan whined about that...

    • @pindot787
      @pindot787 3 года назад +95

      @@largol33t1 Well, jordan only drink espresso, so those steam wand are useless to him, it actually shows more of his character.

    • @MrRynRules
      @MrRynRules 2 года назад +8

      You are an absolute legend!

    • @TJamesBell
      @TJamesBell 2 года назад +5

      This list terrifies me.

    • @HENKO_BEATS
      @HENKO_BEATS 2 года назад +16

      Don't know why I read all of this...

  • @joefamulari2595
    @joefamulari2595 3 года назад +348

    The greatest comedy duo ever! They’ve gotten me through Covid, lonely days at home and the quest for my next roll of toilet paper. God bless you both.

    • @costellofratelli9625
      @costellofratelli9625 3 года назад +3

      Nothing wrong with a few months of lonely time. Monks are alone for years, without RUclips! Lolol. Stay well!

    • @DNATruLyricist
      @DNATruLyricist 11 месяцев назад +1

      Got me through a rough break up

    • @hypnos9336
      @hypnos9336 Месяц назад

      ugh, so annoying reading these comments from a few years ago when everybody was obsessed talking about the pandemic constantly

  • @phothewin6019
    @phothewin6019 7 лет назад +14524

    Who else is on a Conan binge right now?

    • @valkarez1137
      @valkarez1137 7 лет назад +16

      Duwang Is Unbreakable How did you know

    • @Joshua-nc1be
      @Joshua-nc1be 7 лет назад +19

      Duwang Is Unbreakable I've been on one for three days and 8 times on the toilet!

    • @Costikeke
      @Costikeke 7 лет назад +26

      binging out on jordan, hes a prize

    • @bobbysteakhouse7022
      @bobbysteakhouse7022 7 лет назад +13

      You can kind of see he has a soul because sometimes he smiles like at 2:00

    • @louisxD
      @louisxD 7 лет назад +5

      Me right now

  • @PinkSistahs
    @PinkSistahs 8 лет назад +3997

    Jordan Schlansky for president!.. or various presidential jobs!

    • @Nastypsychoboy
      @Nastypsychoboy 8 лет назад +59

      +Laura Bourne Associate President.

    • @wennethicus5212
      @wennethicus5212 8 лет назад +38

      You know he'd be better than Trump.

    • @AWISECROW
      @AWISECROW 8 лет назад +28

      +Nastypsychoboy He would have various gov't related duties.

    • @killerseddie8295
      @killerseddie8295 8 лет назад

      +The Veneficus Get used to it. It's happening.

    • @NicholasLionRider
      @NicholasLionRider 8 лет назад +6

      +Laura Bourne We'd be ruled by Italy.

  • @nosir1479
    @nosir1479 2 года назад +199

    Only Conan can make pure comedy gold given a member of his staff crew, an untidy office and an espresso machine.

    • @waterunderthebridge2291
      @waterunderthebridge2291 10 месяцев назад +1

      That's probably not his real office but idk.

    • @wardenunknown
      @wardenunknown 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@waterunderthebridge2291It’s been stated that the things about Jordan are real, they just crank it up further for the cameras

  • @XtremeConditions
    @XtremeConditions 3 года назад +64

    "The Fuhrer was behind fewer doors in his bunker, I walked through seven doors... If Osama Bin Laden was next to this coffee machine, he'd still be alive today, because no one would ever have found him." LMAO I literally could not stop laughing.

  • @CarlosGarcia-yg9je
    @CarlosGarcia-yg9je 5 лет назад +856

    The side by side picture of Jordan and Mussolini was hilarious!

    • @1Nida
      @1Nida 4 года назад +2

      Carlos Garcia that was my favorite part.

    • @belart7152
      @belart7152 4 года назад +2

      one with ole coffee maker ......lol

  • @timpyrules
    @timpyrules 8 лет назад +269

    "If Osama Bin Laden was cringing behind this coffee machine he would be alive right now"
    My god im dying

  • @sebastiancasas2074
    @sebastiancasas2074 3 года назад +135

    its so interesting that a refined and "cultured" dude like Jordan, has such a messy office

    • @costellofratelli9625
      @costellofratelli9625 3 года назад +4

      Producers offices are like that because their thoughts are organized.

    • @TheMrComentarista
      @TheMrComentarista 2 года назад +4

      @@costellofratelli9625 why would a messy office imply organized thoughts?

    • @costellofratelli9625
      @costellofratelli9625 2 года назад +7

      @@TheMrComentarista he knows where everything is.

    • @DeathBringer769
      @DeathBringer769 2 года назад +4

      @@costellofratelli9625 Organized chaos. I used the same excuse with my parents back in the day with my messy room, lol.

    • @SightForMemories
      @SightForMemories 2 года назад

      oftentimes geniuses have messy lives.

  • @TJSaw
    @TJSaw 4 месяца назад +10

    “Do you realize you’re from Buffalo?”
    😂😂😂

  • @donvitocorleone8442
    @donvitocorleone8442 6 лет назад +2922

    More like Jordan needs a expression machine. 😂

    • @Internetprolet1312
      @Internetprolet1312 5 лет назад +9

      Don Vito Corleone good one

    • @iplayroblox9471
      @iplayroblox9471 5 лет назад

      I don’t get it

    • @gaganj3806
      @gaganj3806 5 лет назад +29

      @@iplayroblox9471 u play roblox! No wonder u dont get it

    • @curleypubes3672
      @curleypubes3672 5 лет назад

      It's espresso dumbass

    • @acedeuce4709
      @acedeuce4709 5 лет назад +27

      @@curleypubes3672 I...I don't even know how to respond...but I did. Stay golden, you glorious dumb bastard.

  • @Dracattack
    @Dracattack 5 лет назад +476

    Youre making an assumption that I chose the display language
    Narrator: He did.

    • @truthsmiles
      @truthsmiles 4 года назад +12

      Of course he did. His statement isn't a denial haha, it's a diversion tactic.

    • @Ruben-ry4hc
      @Ruben-ry4hc 4 года назад +3

      *Ron Howard voice*

    • @vicky248123
      @vicky248123 4 года назад +1

      The instructions he admits to writing says that when finished the machine will display "PRONTO" meaning he definitely chose the display language that shifty fake Italian

  • @jenniferdanielle2461
    @jenniferdanielle2461 4 года назад +171

    “I’ve never had a sip of American coffee”
    Then how do you know you hate it?😂

  • @Ilcchms31
    @Ilcchms31 Год назад +45

    This chemistry is unmatched. So good together the timing the Ying and yang. Will always be hilarious

  • @MindstormRecords
    @MindstormRecords 8 лет назад +2046

    First time I've ever seen Jordan slightly giggle but then back to business

    • @nickcolagiovanni6572
      @nickcolagiovanni6572 8 лет назад +115

      ive never been so happy to see someone else laugh in my life lol

    • @11YeeP11
      @11YeeP11 8 лет назад +13

      I was just going to say the exact same thing. I have been wondering what this guy is really like, now I feel complete... :)

    • @MrStoam
      @MrStoam 7 лет назад +56

      I dont think jordan is actually this weird irl. I think hes a little weird, but on the show hes gotten a lot of publicity being weird and technical. Im pretty sure Conan tells Jordan not to laugh and to be as weird as possible. When theres a cut in the scene i believe Jordan might be cracking up lauhging.

    • @CLuvTravels
      @CLuvTravels 7 лет назад +14

      If you watch some of the earlier 08, 09 videos he laughs allot

    • @plansforus
      @plansforus 7 лет назад +27

      The guy has one of the best dead pans I've ever seen! I love these.

  • @Telle.C
    @Telle.C 4 года назад +3479

    Who else is on a Schlansky binge?

    • @frozenlake1215
      @frozenlake1215 4 года назад +30

      Just started mine with this very video

    • @Telle.C
      @Telle.C 4 года назад +27

      @@frozenlake1215 help im trapped with the conan vids

    • @codymeador3819
      @codymeador3819 4 года назад +5

      Hes a very down to earth dude. I respect that.

    • @cristic767
      @cristic767 4 года назад +8

      I somewhat find myself in Schlansky. :)
      I also lived for three years in Italia, in Torino - which is the home town of Lavazza. :)

    • @fagbag9553
      @fagbag9553 4 года назад +2

      #NOTMETOO

  • @FabulousFab72
    @FabulousFab72 2 года назад +65

    Poor Jordan trying so hard not to burst laughing.
    We all gonna miss so much those little bits with the staff.

  • @emanueleg.4651
    @emanueleg.4651 2 года назад +56

    I am Italian and I find this beyond hilarious. I always come back to have a laugh! Thanks.

  • @PrettyProChannel
    @PrettyProChannel 4 года назад +554

    Jordan speaks like a lawyer would write: "I want you to understand that it's not my responsibility to be forthcoming or to make announcements of any kind. I suggested that its purchase be made, I'm not its caretaker or its wrangler."

    • @79pants
      @79pants 3 года назад +7

      Its WRANGLER

  • @danielvillalobos356
    @danielvillalobos356 6 лет назад +1702

    How come so few people acknowledge that Jordan is a comic genius? He's at Buster Keaton level. Or he's a very functional Rainman character.

    • @johnfeola1856
      @johnfeola1856 5 лет назад +2

      you mean whoever writes his lines is a comic genius?

    • @MinecraftNucIear
      @MinecraftNucIear 5 лет назад +37

      @@johnfeola1856 it's spontaneous

    • @no_peace
      @no_peace 5 лет назад +62

      You can watch those scraps videos and see him making it up. I think he's an intentionally funny aspie

    • @whyilee
      @whyilee 5 лет назад +6

      definitely not on Buster Keaton's level.

    • @nataliexu5624
      @nataliexu5624 5 лет назад +5

      @@johnfeola1856 you do realize improv means no lines, right.

  • @brundash8013
    @brundash8013 3 года назад +29

    “So tell us about this coffee machine”
    “It’s Lavazza blue LB 2312.”

  • @davidmartins4666
    @davidmartins4666 4 года назад +100

    Conan can make anyone forget about pain in any form, we need more laughter and love these days. Laughter heals us all

    • @galawhites5499
      @galawhites5499 Год назад +3

      You're so right! We need clever humour...we need intelligence and laughter so much these days C I A O :)

    • @lukeedwards5457
      @lukeedwards5457 Год назад +1

      well said

  • @JVenger
    @JVenger 8 лет назад +1491

    the best skit they can do is involve ice cube, kevin hart, and Jordan schlansky with Conan just stirring the pot. I see gold.

    • @shellsy515
      @shellsy515 8 лет назад +57

      I was thinking of that, maybe it would work just as long as cube and kevin didn't pick on Jordan. I think if too many people picked on Jordan it would get really sad really quick.

    • @virtruyamean8920
      @virtruyamean8920 8 лет назад +5

      it won't be good

    • @JVenger
      @JVenger 8 лет назад +27

      linus515 I agree but it would be awesome if Cube taught Jordan to be gangsta.

    • @module15
      @module15 8 лет назад +11

      +Fifty 1 Fifty LOL it would be awesome but I fear that Cube might snap and choke Jordan xD

    • @pandaexpressgamingtv8676
      @pandaexpressgamingtv8676 8 лет назад +6

      +Connecting_Link And Jordan Will Just Have The Same Expression.•_•.

  • @ethanmcghee1223
    @ethanmcghee1223 7 лет назад +624

    Who else is on a Jordan shlansky marathon? Lol

    • @wasiqulislam42
      @wasiqulislam42 7 лет назад +6

      Ethan McGhee i am....and wondering is this real or scripted.

    • @stevendiaz3206
      @stevendiaz3206 7 лет назад +1

      wasiqul islam it's an exaggerated character.

    • @sleepingsheepy
      @sleepingsheepy 7 лет назад

      he is actually like that. he answered questions on reddit. his personality is totally real.

    • @sleepingsheepy
      @sleepingsheepy 7 лет назад

      How about you go on his reddit page and ask him yourself. Instead of speculating.

    • @AgingPunk
      @AgingPunk 6 лет назад

      Ethan McGhee me

  • @Seantendo
    @Seantendo 3 года назад +37

    2:04 I love how Jordan avoids eye contact with Conan when he gets close.

    • @SightForMemories
      @SightForMemories 2 года назад

      It's all scripted, but perfomed so well... so I think he has to look away, to not crack.

  • @cicemeni
    @cicemeni 5 лет назад +1987

    I'm Italian. I can't stop laughing. I watched this three times already

    • @mesutozil3682
      @mesutozil3682 4 года назад +1

      is he really Italian.

    • @paulschlachter4144
      @paulschlachter4144 4 года назад +35

      Italy is the one country where I actually drank as close to perfection as is it is for coffee to be.

    • @anthonygrant7676
      @anthonygrant7676 4 года назад +19

      Mesut ozil no he is from buffalo

    • @muhammadmaaz892
      @muhammadmaaz892 4 года назад +5

      i am not italian,, still going to watch it right again

    • @auunnfkristjansson6738
      @auunnfkristjansson6738 4 года назад +5

      @Dr. Sek. C Classic Italian

  • @ahmarsaeed6085
    @ahmarsaeed6085 4 года назад +492

    "What is your job?"
    "Associate producer"
    "What do you do?"
    I half expected him to say "associate produce".

    • @kj-marslander
      @kj-marslander 4 года назад +14

      I think you meant "I produce associates"

    • @BlackSkullArmor
      @BlackSkullArmor 4 года назад +13

      I produce..... By association

  • @ladychips
    @ladychips 3 года назад +194

    I seriously just discovered these bits with Conan and his staff and pleased with how their videos are doing much much better compared to jimmy videos with celebrity guests

    • @stevethomas2285
      @stevethomas2285 3 года назад +4

      Jimmy's show isn't good. He's very talented, just not at being a talk show host.

    • @herbs275
      @herbs275 Год назад

      jimmy, stephen and the other jimmy are just political hacks for the dems. propaganda to the T.

  • @BuIIet
    @BuIIet 11 месяцев назад +21

    "I suppose that's relative, there are espresso machines that cost $5000"
    I used that line verbatim when justifying a $600 espresso machine to my family.

  • @saim2982
    @saim2982 5 лет назад +1665

    Jordan dresses like an Italian man, especially in Milan

    • @Mikey-ym6ok
      @Mikey-ym6ok 5 лет назад +126

      I'm sure that's not by accident either

    • @alikazerani
      @alikazerani 4 года назад +22

      But in Turin, he dresses like a Bolivian woman.

    • @AbrahamSalazar210
      @AbrahamSalazar210 4 года назад +2

      Slacks with tucked in button-up shirts or polos, it appears so.

  • @aybekaya
    @aybekaya 4 года назад +1179

    This is like Michael Scott and Toby.

  • @ryanfrenzel1434
    @ryanfrenzel1434 3 года назад +46

    To this day, I always respond to questions about my job with I have various duties this is my title. Thank you Jordan for helping me avoid small talk.

    • @doct0rnic
      @doct0rnic 2 года назад +4

      I think this will be my go to as well, Im a freight train conductor and people always want to know exactly what I do.

  • @liga8149
    @liga8149 2 года назад +92

    Realistically regardless of how awkward he is, he's not wrong most of the time.

    • @joeschmoe2697
      @joeschmoe2697 11 месяцев назад +9

      Dude bought an espresso machine for ~$500, didn’t inform the office members, and put it right in front of his room that is sectioned off from the rest of the office💀

  • @onjofilms
    @onjofilms 8 лет назад +4102

    He broke the most on this episode. So funny.

    • @waelag
      @waelag 6 лет назад +76

      onjoFilms he broke the most in the recent ones

    • @FJLC93
      @FJLC93 6 лет назад +103

      It’s not a character he’s just laughing

    • @Tofushoots
      @Tofushoots 6 лет назад +12

      The couples therapy one he broke character. First time I saw him do it.

    • @danielpham8535
      @danielpham8535 6 лет назад +43

      He wasn’t ready. When they walked in he did a normal “hey” and everything

    • @johnnyvt9
      @johnnyvt9 5 лет назад +3

      Autism

  • @sketchables
    @sketchables 6 лет назад +320

    Over 4 years later and I still binge watch these clips

    • @iilwy
      @iilwy 4 года назад

      come back and watch it again

  • @neebatron
    @neebatron 7 месяцев назад +6

    Not gonna lie, this video is the reason I say “Biscotto” for single biscotti

  • @yourvirtualdad
    @yourvirtualdad Год назад +6

    3:44 "the fuhrer was behind fewer doors in his bunker" hahahah

  • @paulitalian4357
    @paulitalian4357 5 лет назад +1574

    As an italian I appreciate Jordan accuracy

    • @sasharama5485
      @sasharama5485 5 лет назад +6

      Anche fin troppo accurato😆

    • @elineverstraeten1872
      @elineverstraeten1872 5 лет назад +4

      I need to ask, do you drink drip coffee in Italy?

    • @antoniomontana6061
      @antoniomontana6061 5 лет назад +11

      Jordan needs to pay a visit to my guy in Brooklyn - Tony Gaga - He’d get this Chooch an expresso machine for $2.00
      Two dooooolllllaaahhhssszz $$

    • @Txb4g
      @Txb4g 5 лет назад +34

      @@elineverstraeten1872 Nope, we don't! 😄

    • @Baamthe25th
      @Baamthe25th 4 года назад +12

      He wrote Italian in his username, so he must be a real one !

  • @eloneklov5601
    @eloneklov5601 8 лет назад +2042

    5:40 Jordan trying to hold in the laughter haha

  • @ianwest84
    @ianwest84 3 года назад +21

    I love watching Jordan fight back his laughter at 5:38 😂

  • @bigwilly8199
    @bigwilly8199 3 года назад +16

    Often referred to as the 'AP', an Associate Producer generally assists the producer in putting the TV program or film together. Duties may include writing, editing, organizing scripts, running the teleprompter in news casts, or helping the editor by making beat calls

  • @SiyuanDai
    @SiyuanDai 8 лет назад +231

    My favorite quote from the Remote: "The Fuhrer was behind fewer doors in his bunker in '45" lol

  • @wesselconway3920
    @wesselconway3920 4 года назад +272

    "I'm not its caretaker or its wrangler" he's talking about it like it's R2D2.

  • @johnthegreek1980
    @johnthegreek1980 3 года назад +15

    Do you realize your from buffalo? Conan
    Me: 😂

  • @haroon420
    @haroon420 11 месяцев назад +20

    I still come back to this clip now and again. The biscotto/biscotti just kills me. I don’t think at that point, Conan even really appreciated the level of pedantsism that Jordan was capable of.

  • @MoeMentos
    @MoeMentos 7 лет назад +2483

    Really thought Conan would break the 'biscotto' in half, yell 'it's a biscotti now, you dead-eyed psycho', and then casually throw it back in the drawer. Or better yet, begin eating it slow, right in front of Jordan 😂

  • @elrads
    @elrads 9 лет назад +616

    But nooooooooooooo, people still believe that Conan is mocking the Fake Italian. C'mon, dude was about to laugh in several times during this video.

    • @Fulscript
      @Fulscript 9 лет назад +36

      Ben Herrera I seriously hate internet people sometimes. They have to make a story from a comedic show.

    • @elrads
      @elrads 9 лет назад

      Fulscript but you don't hate me, right? Cause I don't like the hating towards myself. But if you share my hatred to the cry-babies, then we're cool.

    • @Fulscript
      @Fulscript 9 лет назад

      Ben Herrera We're on the same page.

    • @elrads
      @elrads 9 лет назад

      Fulscript Much obliged, mate! Keep on hating! Regards!

    • @Vyselink
      @Vyselink 9 лет назад +38

      That point at about the 2:34 mark or so "I didn't want to spend your money needlessly" you can see Jordan crack. These two are definitely friends lol

  • @bryancirimele2645
    @bryancirimele2645 2 года назад +12

    What a great video. I loved that Jordan broke character many times and smiled. Team Coco, we all love and appreciate the videos. Thank you!!!!!

  • @polishrocker93
    @polishrocker93 3 года назад +9

    1:23 “Jordan, Conan o Brien here.”
    I think he already knows who his boss is 😆

    • @leonrobinson8180
      @leonrobinson8180 2 года назад +2

      He has various bosses he reports to from time to time...

  • @redman958
    @redman958 7 лет назад +535

    "Do you realize that you're from Buffalo?" lol

    • @youwontlikemysteeze2945
      @youwontlikemysteeze2945 5 лет назад

      Nah North Buffalo, clearly.

    • @angelocapodicasa3096
      @angelocapodicasa3096 5 лет назад +1

      Hearing that is the first time I ever wanted to apologize on behalf of Buffalo for allowing something like that to escape into the world.

  • @AishwaryaNet
    @AishwaryaNet 5 лет назад +1956

    1:57 CONAN: Did I buy you this Italian almond biscotti?
    JORDAN: Biscotto
    CONAN: Biscotti ?
    JORDAN: That would be if there's more than one, there is only one

    • @DaiIchiBonsaiKai
      @DaiIchiBonsaiKai 4 года назад +274

      Such a missed opportunity…
      Conan breaks the "biscotto" in two.
      "Now it's Biscotti.

    • @nicklevi5537
      @nicklevi5537 4 года назад +6

      @@DaiIchiBonsaiKai yeah i remember i saw that. Which video was that

    • @fen1x0r
      @fen1x0r 4 года назад +59

      ​@@DaiIchiBonsaiKai And the answer of Jordan would be like: It's still one. If You cut Your car on half it doesn't mean You got two cars now.

    • @randyholder4840
      @randyholder4840 4 года назад +2

      @@fen1x0r you can get into semantics on it, but the joke would have hit for a laugh. That's all that matters in this case.

    • @fen1x0r
      @fen1x0r 4 года назад +3

      ​@@randyholder4840 Yes, joke would hit in first moment but after such answer it would definitely weaken. Point is, You can't get out of it when You make mistake of naming something wrong in first place.

  • @steinarlarusson-arnesen8922
    @steinarlarusson-arnesen8922 3 года назад +15

    Jordans various tasks: writing, editing, organizing scripts, running the teleprompter in news casts, or helping the editor by making beat calls.

  • @cryhav0k2112
    @cryhav0k2112 3 года назад +26

    When he cracks up while saying "I didn't want to spend your money needlessly"

  • @Ghost_Of_SAS
    @Ghost_Of_SAS 10 лет назад +118

    On behalf of Italy THANK YOU JORDAN for knowing how to use plurals correctly.

    • @Squids_Vlogs
      @Squids_Vlogs 10 лет назад +24

      ya hes really appreciates italian culture

    • @KanalDerGutenSache
      @KanalDerGutenSache 6 лет назад

      you mean "plural". it's singular. there is only one plural.

    • @peepeepoo3432
      @peepeepoo3432 5 лет назад

      +KanalDerGutenSache nope, when plural is used as a noun it is countable, plurals is correct

    • @zeeblue1220
      @zeeblue1220 5 лет назад

      He wasn’t correct here, Biscotti means “twice cooked”, it has nothing to do with plurals.

  • @kayleyeliza1992
    @kayleyeliza1992 10 лет назад +61

    "It's dirty, it's old. It has a simple on/off switch. In English. Cause God bless America, you son of a bitch." hahaha

  • @McBain2024
    @McBain2024 3 года назад +17

    Loving Jordan on Netflix’s “The Sinner 3”..

    • @dianeee1992x
      @dianeee1992x 3 года назад

      Oh i know what you mean. He looks like Chris Messina yes

    • @DrunKao
      @DrunKao 3 года назад +1

      Lord Jesus it looks like the same person.

  • @mckenzie.latham91
    @mckenzie.latham91 3 года назад +6

    “That is the greatest non answer i’ve ever heard”
    that got me

  • @ChristineNZ23
    @ChristineNZ23 6 лет назад +97

    I love Jordan's vocabulary. Nothing better than an intelligent conversation/response etc

  • @Hunter_Hult
    @Hunter_Hult 4 года назад +365

    Jordan seems like he was the type of kid who would remind the teacher they forgot to assign homework.

    • @Hunter_Hult
      @Hunter_Hult 4 года назад

      TristenNator... thanks jeans

    • @marredcheese
      @marredcheese 2 года назад +28

      "Unlike my classmates, I was able to recognize that the lack of homework assigned was a potentially missed opportunity. Studies show that practice is critical to the learning process, and I take my education very seriously, unlike many people here in American." - Jordan Schlansky circa 8th grade

    • @David-tq8ok
      @David-tq8ok 2 года назад +1

      @TristenNator - Roblox no, Conan said that he is really like that, it's not a character

  • @hitmanchris
    @hitmanchris Год назад +5

    Bruh I still watch these videos like 7 years later...Damn Conan and Jordan are funny

  • @tq2769
    @tq2769 3 года назад +13

    Who knows, perhaps he’s the most caring, tenderhearted, humble human being on the planet.

  • @jamesl9371
    @jamesl9371 5 лет назад +2353

    Do you realize you are from Buffalo

    • @damoos3.
      @damoos3. 4 года назад +43

      lol im from buffalo it makes sense now his last name schlansky is polonian name

    • @wayneurquhart1967
      @wayneurquhart1967 4 года назад +10

      @@damoos3. Polonia sounds Italian.

    • @nicholaslearn4542
      @nicholaslearn4542 4 года назад +1

      B-Low!!

    • @afanontheceiling
      @afanontheceiling 4 года назад +23

      I can confirm that most people from Buffalo are emotionless and wannabe Italians.

    • @placeholder577
      @placeholder577 4 года назад +2

      No

  • @imhellag
    @imhellag 9 лет назад +58

    2:00 JORDAN SMILING WIDE then immediately clamps up lol

    • @Ghettofinger
      @Ghettofinger 9 лет назад +3

      He smiles occasionally. That is his actual behavior, but he is still human. I would assume he as a form of asperger's, especially since he dislikes eye contact.

    • @chrishaugan8230
      @chrishaugan8230 9 лет назад +5

      Savos Aren or its an act

    • @popularopiniondispenser6076
      @popularopiniondispenser6076 8 лет назад +2

      Savos Aren Dude he's acting. It isn't scripted but he's trying to be as weird as possible.

  • @DakinRinone
    @DakinRinone 2 года назад +15

    I'm gonna miss conan so much. Hope the HBO show is gonna be just as good

  • @bijibadness
    @bijibadness 7 лет назад +307

    Jordan Schlansky is the best thing to happen to Conan's career since video games.

  • @T1000AX
    @T1000AX 8 лет назад +2713

    2:30 it's hard to tell if he is breaking character or this is the extent of his laughing abilities

    • @JeffStreamsThings
      @JeffStreamsThings 8 лет назад +141

      +T1000AX It's both. :)

    • @RyuJinh
      @RyuJinh 8 лет назад +58

      his a smug little bastard

    • @altar7885
      @altar7885 8 лет назад +6

      yeah he's a slimy little bitch and I can't stand him
      I guess he's just being kept on because he can be used as comedy fodder

    • @user-dw3hw9zp9y
      @user-dw3hw9zp9y 8 лет назад +173

      Yeah he breaks character a little bit. He's actually a really funny guy irl.

    • @Jinseual
      @Jinseual 8 лет назад +15

      He's learning, take it slow.

  • @nyy190343
    @nyy190343 8 месяцев назад +2

    The fuhrer was behind fewer doors in his bunker 😂

  • @JacobGodly
    @JacobGodly 3 года назад +14

    It’s amazing how witty Conan is, he will go down as one of the best talk show hosts

  • @federtm2
    @federtm2 9 лет назад +93

    Jordan Schansky is... FUCKING SMILING!!!!! OMG!!!!

    • @jaguar123987x
      @jaguar123987x 8 лет назад +6

      Marc Molina He had a good day until Conan came by but he didn't let that incident ruin his day!

    • @ylette
      @ylette 8 лет назад +30

      There was probably just a little glitch in his mood generator that made it work temporarily.

  • @kutlazs4309
    @kutlazs4309 8 лет назад +162

    I'm on a Jordan Schanlsky marathon and i cannot stop it, that man is hilarious even thought he doesnt do anything :DDD

    •  7 лет назад +6

      I found one video today, havent stop since then hahahaha that guy is dead inside.

    • @Manuel-qu3tc
      @Manuel-qu3tc 5 лет назад

      he's hilarious with Conan mainly 'cos Conan is a great comedian and can play off with almost everyone.

    • @eclipsethesun9616
      @eclipsethesun9616 5 лет назад

      .why dunno I .this like typing stop can't I mobile on ,Third .Conan not ,JORDAN complimenting was person original the ,Second.revive to need no ,comment old years ,off First

    • @whipmer5178
      @whipmer5178 5 лет назад +1

      He does various tasks

  • @danandhibb
    @danandhibb 3 года назад +8

    This is just Pure Gold!!! I’d watch a Jordan and Conan reality show.

  • @NoellaScott
    @NoellaScott Год назад +29

    As an American who is part Italian and can hide it with my non-Italian last name, I respect and embrace Jordan's various methods

  • @Vinterista_
    @Vinterista_ 8 лет назад +330

    Jordan and Conan need to take a trip to Italy ASAP!!

    • @MeAuntieNora
      @MeAuntieNora 8 лет назад +11

      +Vince Ismaele Oh, GOD that would be amazing.
      After the success of the Armenia trip, it would be hilarious to see Conan bring Jordan back to his "homeland" too.

    • @weeabooshunter4759
      @weeabooshunter4759 8 лет назад +6

      +Vince Ismaele he would never return

    • @Jebu911
      @Jebu911 8 лет назад +2

      +Vince Ismaele Yeah that would be best thing on conan.

    • @cintiasanchez152
      @cintiasanchez152 8 лет назад

      .-:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) Ácwcs@@cw@c@w@cwc@wc@@c@cw@cc njj,...

    • @sebastiangleiss9647
      @sebastiangleiss9647 8 лет назад +3

      Jordan was in Chianti near Firenze but without conan

  • @hackman6486
    @hackman6486 5 лет назад +1049

    Often referred to as the 'AP', an Associate Producer generally assists the producer in putting the TV program or film together. Duties may include various tasks such as writing, editing, organizing scripts, running the teleprompter in news casts, or helping the editor by making beat calls.
    He isn't lying...

    • @aricgoss
      @aricgoss 5 лет назад +158

      Various tasks from one crafty fake Italian

    • @gabrielrooks9222
      @gabrielrooks9222 5 лет назад +8

      Thank you Nerdman. Lol.

    • @cbuchholz71
      @cbuchholz71 5 лет назад +4

      so you're saying the associate producer does the work?

    • @bobblunt7115
      @bobblunt7115 5 лет назад +86

      Um guys.. this is obviously Jordan on a fake account trying to keep his job

    • @yasukosaito6218
      @yasukosaito6218 5 лет назад +2

      Hackman あ

  • @PastaCouch
    @PastaCouch Год назад +7

    5:37 Jordan is trying so hard not to laugh

  • @michaelsalameh6491
    @michaelsalameh6491 4 года назад +818

    I have binged Conan and I still don’t know what Jordan does

    • @anonym58063
      @anonym58063 4 года назад +185

      Various tasks

    • @said822
      @said822 4 года назад +173

      He has various tasks and responsibilities.

    • @largol33t1
      @largol33t1 4 года назад +101

      It's a running joke on the show. Nobody seems to know WTF Jordan does. In real life, he actually is one of Conan's producers.

    • @rezah336
      @rezah336 4 года назад +7

      he's a jewish censor person

    • @KamikazeChinaman
      @KamikazeChinaman 3 года назад +31

      He's in charge of making Conan's problems dissappear, if you know what I mean.

  • @jameshau7408
    @jameshau7408 8 лет назад +1840

    HOW AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT ABOUT THESE VIDEOS!

  • @isaazsmitty234
    @isaazsmitty234 6 месяцев назад +1

    Every other year I’ll run into a Conan/Jordan video and binge them all!!