Gender nonconformity is underrated! Otoh, how we perceive gender expression is subjective, and I wouldn’t want to accidentally say something invalidating.
I used to say this in highschool because I didn't actually understand what gender was and just thought we all refered to people by their genitals because of preferances or something. I also really didn't understand gender disphoria because I didn't care if I was a guy or girl and assumed that was normal. I now know I'm Agender and not even remotely normal. SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST CONFUSED! Try not to assume the worst >_
@@jw-06 that officer account up there has a profile pic consistent with a cyber-bullying and raiding group, it could be a bot or could be someone copy and pasting responses with menial edits to correspond to the channel they're on
When my daughter was a baby, I put her in a lot of gender neutral clothing (gender coding of baby clothes is pernicious). When a stranger misgendered her, it was usually a compliment (He's so cute!) or sympathy (Oh, he's giving you a hard time today), and I wouldn't feel any need to correct them. Just "Thank you" or "Yeah, it's been a long day." But I remember one day when she was atypically decked out in all pink, and a gentleman in the grocery checkout line made a comment using "he." And I had this moment that was less about her being misgendered than it was about him somehow missing the flashing neon sign saying, "Girl! Girl! Girl!" Then I pulled myself together and replied, " Yes, he is." It only occurred to me much later that the man might have been red/green color blind, rather than being oblivious.
Good final point. If the design of the clothes are neutral and only had pink colour, some people wouldn't be able to tell. It would be different if it was frills, bows and skirt which are feminine-coded.
@OfficerZ637Oh hey, what a coincidence! You're the guy in someone else's comments section that claims to enjoy CP, and not Club Penguin! Kindly alt+F4 yourself out of existence ❤️
I'm a cis woman who grew up in the 70s and used to get mad at the idea that I wanted a barbie over a train set and left a club and walked home because the girls weren't allowed to do the rocketry projects. Gendered activities and clothing was stupid back then and it's doubly stupid now! No one cared who played with the Star Wars action figures as long as they sold. I even still have some of my original ones from 79. Do what you love, wear what you want. Spin that skirt and rock that flannel. You have always been and will always be valid and more than enough! Love and laughter to all!
Appearantly, the industry does care about selling gendered products, and will pull shows off the air if the "wrong" gender likes them and buys their merch, cuz that makes them compete against themselves. It's the reason Teen Titans was pulled and not continued, cuz it was popular with girls, and they didn't wantthem buying the superhero toys, so the Barbies (etc) would still sell.
I know what you mean. I'm about the same age, and was part of a group of girls who went to the shop teacher and asked to take shop. His response? He said that a girl wouldn't know the difference between a flat head and a Philips head screwdriver. What Jamie said is so right. Then again, although I'm a CIS woman, my husband stayed home and did most of the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing while I went out to work as a Software Developer/Technical Writer. It worked well for us, but once we tried to rent a home nearer my job only to be told that they wouldn't rent to us and they wanted to know what was wrong with my husband that he didn't go out to work.
I think that might be the evolutionary purpose for homosexuality. I mean, it seems helpful to the group if you have pairs of parents that won't have children of their own to adopt orphaned offspring - more offspring surviving means better chances for survival of the group...
@@robertnett9793It's difficult to make group selection work - individuals who use the system tend to take over the group and then life is terrible for everyone. But it would be interesting to see if such same-sex penguins preferably adopted hatchlings/eggs from relatives. That might work.
When I came out to my sister she said “I knew it!! Thank you for telling me, but I knew it!!” Then she told me about the little hints she saw and how she had thought if anyone in the family was lgbt+ it would be me. It was very nice.
That's awesome! My best friend was similar; she was like "Honestly I've been thinking about what to say when you brought this up since middle school, because I always knew there was something, but didn't want to ask and push you into anything until you were ready." Apart from the joking "you mean I could've saved so much time and and agony if you'd told me" I definitely teared up.
My sister didn't have that kind of reaction, even at one point refusing to call me brother when I noticed she kept calling me sibling. But at my dad's house (where I'm not there very often, but she lives there) she's the one to correct people, and I really appreciate that since I'm never over.
Mine would be. " Not get murdered like Nex did" because I'm also Nonbinary and im scared of my state passing the three anti-trans laws that just went into the courts and I'm afraid of people taking stuff further in my state and start murdering people here too..
My dad has just told me “No one was gay or trans in the old west. Those things only came about in the 90s” It’s so sad that so much history is just lost. You can look it up nowadays and find information if you really search, but if you already have a bias against it, you may never know
Queer people back then either -Tried to force themselves to live as something they're not -died -had some traits of their actual gender and could actually pass (actually, due to different expectations in different countries it can be easier to pass in some places then others)
@dragonwolfzero820 They say trans people were never a thing in history... then write off every single AFAB person who disguised themselves as a man and lived that way as simply what a woman had to do for rights and independence in that time. Which I'm sure was sometimes true, especially among the ones who did it to join armies in wartime, but let's be honest a large amount were definitely transmasc in some way - or agender/nonbinary/genderfluid with relatively little dysphoria and decided posing as a man was worth it for male privilege. This narrative that all of those people were simply women who dressed as men because of the awful state of women's rights, and never once mentioning the serious dysphoria that might strike most cis women attempting to do that long term, actually contributed to me not discovering my fluidity when I really should have. All I knew was those women must have had something special and rare about them that made posing as a man doable, or else a hell of a lot more women would have done it, and whatever that was I had it too because I didn't really care about being misgendered, sometimes got a thrill out of successfully posing as a boy, but also felt little to no discomfort over being a girl, so obviously I'm cis since to be trans means having crippling gender dysphoria and for me it was like, sensory frustration over periods, at the absolute worst, so I didn't have dysphoria as my AGAB or as the opposite when needs must, which I thought of as a fun curiosity but not important to mention to my caregivers or doctors.
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Cowboy culture was literally so gay and transgender people and 2spirit people were cowboys aswell! History has been colonized and white washed, and your father is playing into gentrified western and perpetuating cycles. I’m sorry you have to deal with him
"I just don't see why it's something you have to be 'proud' about." Are you kidding? Navigating all that paperwork, the ID changes (so, SO many ID changes) once the name change goes through, navigating a medical system that often ranges from undereducated to downright hostile, coming out to family, friends, and colleagues who might not understand or be accepting, and through it all, SURVIVING. THAT Is what we have to be proud of.
Omg almost all of my theatre friends are theys And pretty much all of my friends are theys to my mother because she doesn't like to get it wrong I guess
Little story on the topic of „I’ve always suspected“ : when I came out as trans ftm to my gynaecologist, she said she could’ve told me that two years ago but that I would’ve probably thrown a chair in her face back then 😂 yes that’s actually what she said
Well I don't know about that. But when I was doing an hypnotherapy session it came up I might be trans accidentally and I kinda shouted "NO" and then shut down for the rest of the appointment and left. And it only hit me like a year or so afterwards. I need to call her back honestly, just to allow her the room to gloat lmao. I wasn't even opposed to the idea I was mostly like "oh god that'd be so much work".
yeah, it's interesting how a man's man seems to imply that he would treat women poorly, but girl's girl just implies that she'll like tell you if your makeup is messed up and not steal your boyfriend 😆 idk, is that just me or do other people see them differently like that?
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jz it's just the context i've heard it in, he's a "boy's boy" or a "man's man" meaning "bros before hoes" or whatever, which would imply that he's averse to spending time with his girlfriend etc, almost along the lines of "boys will be boys." but hey i'm glad if you haven't heard it in that context
I shaved my head a few times in college when I was more femme presenting (although, not that femme). I did have people ask me if i regretted it. A few times it was a woman asking because she was considering shaving her head. But not always. Also, once when I was working in a drive-thru fast food place, a woman asked me if i had cancer. When i told her no, she then told me that i should grow my hair out. There are people that have no idea how to mind their own business about the smallest things.
Yeah It's weird There's some people that legitimately don't really care for having hair and thats ok. There is nothing wrong with personal preference and people gotta mind their own business
It's so weirddddd As a trans guy, I've had people tell me all sorts of things about how I should look more feminine. Especially with my hair. Everybody acted so devastated when I finally cut my hair off, and people sometimes tell me "you would look so much prettier with long hair!" Like, no I wouldn't, because I'd have pretty hair and a miserable expression. Someone in my family commented about my boyfriend having long hair, saying she was glad he cut it off because he looked like a girl, and boys should have short hair. NO! My boyfriend is very clearly a dude, no matter how long his hair is. And he should wear it however he likes!
I had three separate people tell me they were organ donors and could save my life when I shaved my head. Like, firstly, it's a fashion choice, but even if I had cancer... Not while you're alive you can't???
Bro I fucking got that too. My abusive father had shaved my head when I was very little, and people legitimately COULDNT tell my gender, but I also had people asking if I had cancer and just... WTF MAN. Also when i cut most of my hair off, (years later, when I figured out I was indeed nonbinary, and not a cis woman), and got my sides shaved, people are like " i loved your long hair!!","you looked better with long hair!" "Your long hair was so beautiful and you are a beautiful woman!" "You looked so much happier before cutting your hair, stop having an identity crisis!" ( even tho this was s a stranger who didn't know me.. acting like they know what was better for me than myself..) "you're a beautiful woman, being nonbinary doesn't exist! Just embrace being femme!" Well I WOULD if I wasn't clocked as a woman, and being seen as a woman gave me massive dysphoria and made me hate myself and hate my chest! I like being femme, but people like this make my blood boil. Note, most of those comments are from strangers that know nothing about me, and a few were from family. I'm also paraphrasing some of this so.. yeah.
If we want to be literal about it, "a man's man" would be a man in a committed relationship with another man. Similar with "a woman's woman." I for one would love to see the literal meaning take over the colloquial one...
In the US, the word “special” is often sarcastic or straight up euphemistic. Like, when my lactation consultant told me, “You just need to accept that you have a special child”, she meant that my child has a disability. (It’s true, but what a way to say it - coming up on 20 years ago and I’m still mad.)
Ugh, I swear, people need to stop coming up with euphemisms for disabled. Disabled isn't a bad word, it's value neutral. Differently abled, diffabilty, specially abled, handicapable..... No, just use disabled. I've even been told I'm "infantilizing less capable people" for calling **myself** disabled.
@@waffles3629 Yep. I don't think we gain disability acceptance by acting like disability is too horrible to even name. It's just a different way of painting over it.
@@thatjillgirl yep, like thinking that refusing to use the words a community wants to use and instead using words you've been asked not to use is "acceptance" is mind boggling. Like no, you are not accepting me by forcing euphemisms on me and refusing to listen to me because you know better. In fact it's the exact opposite.
I had an incident at work once, where I introduced myself to someone. I'm nonbinary, and my name is a single letter, and when I told the guy that, he asked, "Oh, is that short for (deadname)?" I have never had anyone ask that, so I panicked and said, "It used to be." This was a year ago, and I still think about this sometimes
i had kind of the opposite happen, on the first day at a new high school someone asked me if my name, Eve, was short for anything, I panicked and said it was short for Evan, which it isn't but nothing like the first day of school to come out to your classmates, anyways I'm best friends with that person now but still very much in the closet with most people :)
@@indigodino3897 Eve short for Evan is so funny though. I would befriend the person introducing themselves like that, too. But I asked two Indian people today who was "better" because they said they come from two different casts. We all laughed. They are modern.
@OfficerZ637 source say you pulled that shit out of your ass and ate it. You commented this under a video about a DEAD NON-BINARY PERSON WHO WAS ALSO A MINOR AS WELL.
My response to “did you regret transitioning/ some part of my transition” is to ask them “if they regret going out looking like that” which usually leads to a teachable moment by waiting for them to finish their reaction (usually negative) and saying something along the lines of that’s how I felt about their question. 16:21
I have a strong opinion that clothes for young children should have trucks and unicorns and dinosaurs and love hearts all mashed together. That is all.
I remember growing up in the 90's, my favorite shirt was pink with a green eastern dragon on it. Could have passed as a boy's shirt if it was any other color. I loved that shirt to literal bits. Kids don't care, they just want cool clothes.
THIS. You see it occasionally for short periods when the market demands it, but it needs to be the permanent basis. Mash up all the colours and iconography, the kids don't care and you can hand down clothes to more people with less ickyness from the parents
Not sure about that…I never liked trucks, only dinosaurs and other animals/ nature. Just let it be separate designs but let the kids wear what they want whenever they’re aware of what they’re wearing enough to choose.
@@armie4172 I meant more not carefully delineating by traditionally "male" and "female" topics. Like, if you would've been happy in a yellow top with kittens and baby koalas and capybaras, I'd 100% support that. Or even peach, with specifically jurassic-era herbivorous dinosaurs sleeping atop clouds, on your pj top & bottoms. It's not about "you should be into everything"; it's "you might be, and are allowed to be, into anything".
haha, ironically this is a compliment that gives me this "Well Meaning, but Not Quite" vibe! My grandma always says "I love you just the way you are" but what those words can mean includes "I love you how you are and you shouldn't change" or "I love you how I perceive you as so conform to that" with a tiny anxiety that "I won't love you if you change"! IMO this sort of statement is best ended with "- no matter what"!
I'm openly trans. A lot of people ask me questions out of curiosity. I answer them but tell them most trans people wouldn't like being asked those questions.
Yeah its weird when people ask a trans person questions they wouldn't ask a cis person. Its kind of you to answer and definitely good to remind them that the questions arent really appropriate to ask. I can only think of a few instances where questions may actually warrant an answer, like if the person asking someone you're romantically or sexually involved with. Like if you're planning on being sexually intimate with someone then it may be relevant to know if they've had specific types of surgery or not and if they plan to in the near future, I've never asked because I feel that someone's genitalia is the least interesting thing about them, but I have had girls volunteer this info to me in case it changed whether I'd want to date them. If something hopes to start a family then it is relevant to know if their partner can have children naturally and if they'd want to or if they'll need to look into other ways of starting your family. Or if someone's legal name is still their dead name their future spouse would need to know that for the purpose of legal paperwork. I can also understand why another trans person who maybe hasn't come out yet or is at a different point in the transition may ask questions. Like it wouldn't surprise me if my son asked older trans men about binding or what it's like to take testosterone since those are things he's likely to do at some point and it may be helpful to ask someone who has experienced it. Those are the only circumstances I can think of where it would make sense to ask any personal or invasive questions of a trans person.
yeah i got asked my deadname by a gay person and had to politely explain that while *i* wasnt upset with him, you shouldn't ask that of trans people. It took him a second to get it but it was alright
24:18 god.. I’m genderfluid and this is the one everyone says to me “You’re just changing clothes” no I’m not, CHAD, my BRAIN AND THOUGHTS are changing while my outfits always SUCK!! Thanks for REMINDING ME
14:49 the 'you share the same identities so I'll assume you'll be besties!' thing happens for disabled folks too. The *amount* of times I've gently had to inform a well-meaning neurotypical person that just because someone else is autistic too doesn't mean we'll get on....
Fr, and the assumption that every disabled person and/or LGBTQ person knows each other! Like no, Susan, my cousin doesn't know your friend's son's girlfriend's brother just because they both happen to be in wheelchairs.
Yep, it's even better when the person has a completely unrelated condition. Like oh yeah, I've got migraine, I can't imagine why I don't know some random amputee from another continent.
Some of my best friends have been autistic. Some of the worse people I have ever met in my life have also been autistic. It's the true beauty of a spectrum.
@@ArturGlass.Cand one autistic person's necessary-for-function stim is another autistic person's sensory-hell 'if you don't knock that sh!t off I'm going to throw either you or myself out a window'
Heard a disabled comedian the other day make a joke about how he's been told before that he should marry someone "like him". Honestly made my jaw drop straight to the floor. Why the fuck would two people be perfectly compatible just because they're both disabled? And why would a disabled person have to avoid marrying someone who isn't disabled?
One of these that could get a pass under the right circumstances is the, "It's a bit mindboggling to someone like me" if and only if it is followed up with "So if I make a mistake and say something inappropriate I need you to call me out so I can do better." Also the "Do you regret it," is acceptable coming from someone who is considering the same procedure.
I hate when people expect me to be friends with some random strangers because we’re both trans for many reasons: the reason Jamie listed but also BECAUSE THEYRE OUTING THE OTHER PERSON!!! Do not just randomly tell people (even other queer people) about your queer loved one. That can put them in danger.
Two Trans people can be completely incompatible I've had that happen, myself If the only thing you can find yourself able to talk with that person about is how your experiences as Trans are simar or different You probably won't be friends tbh Person was all about dogs and liked being under the influence of things(totally fine for them, just are two things are incompatible--he was cool our personalities also just didn't really mesh)
I refer to literally everyone not in the room (so to speak) with gender-neutral language because someone pointed out to me that it does wonders for anonymity in some contexts
@@cabezadepija7318 Weird way to admit you are made to feel societal shame for both sexuality and speaking out against the status quo. If only people wanted to actually remove said shame instead of pretending it's not there cause of (fascist) machismo .
@@cabezadepija7318 be proud, and don't listen to the ones who shame you. They want us to be hateful of ourselves and our identity, and to get murdered and have our rights taken away. Don't let them win. Be proud and show it off!!
Being openly nonbinary and not feeling a need to have any surgery or hrt is interesting bc my friends are all like "oh yeah that's Ace they're cool" and then I go to the er for something and it's like "Alright Mrs. Ace" and my mom is trying to tell them about what I'm dealing w bc I struggle talking and she's like "So they have xyz symptoms" and the doc's like "yeah so she might have" and I'm like yeah....
Arrh I feel you. I'm enby but transmasculine. While I do need surgery I'm still generally gender apathic socially. But I'm gonna have to change my gender on my ID even if my country don't allow a third option because Istg no one can get a fucking clue even if it's spelt out. I've literally been gendered correctly by a stranger only one time and it was clearly because they didn't know if I was a boy or a girl not because they clocked me as enby. Still I wish people's default reaction to not knowing or having their assumptions challenged would be like that all the time; to stay gender neutral or ambiguous rather than hang onto ID or try to guess one or the other and fundamentally getting it wrong every time. Gender confusion gives me Gender euphoria until dumbasses gotta ruin it by overcompensating like that.
I have a similar problem with medical establishments. I’m openly trans, got my beard growing in, and I pass extremely well but when I take my daughter to the doctor, they still call me “she” because I’m the birth giver. And I’ve told them I’m trans but they don’t care. My daughter school calls me “the parent” though so they don’t insult either way lmao.
You remind me of myself! I'm afab nonbinary that doesn't want any medical intervention and i also have problems talking so my mom does it for me lol I don't know you but i feel like you get me 💜
@@frick3417 I'm sure I'm missing something, but I like the Meg/Nutmeg combo. It's unexpected, but not so far from what people are used to that it makes life difficult for the bearer of the name. My full, legal, first name is _Katie._ It's not short for anything. _Way_ too many people have decided that I must be confused: I might go by "Katie," but that can't _possibly_ be my "real" name. Even as an adult, I've had to argue that I do, indeed, know my actual name. 🤦🏻♀️ I often have to explain why my name is a nickname before they'll believe me. My father goes by a nickname of his _middle_ name. It's caused some issues for him. His father went by a nickname of our _last_ name. So, when I was born, my father decided that if he and my mom were going to call me "Katie," then that would be my name. My father's attempt to circumvent the problems he'd had with having to explain his name, he actually caused me a whole different set of issues.
My name is Eve. Full stop. And i get asked if it's short for something. I'm now 40yo & growing up as an Eve was a challange. I was teased & made to feel my name was crap. I now love my name as it's more unique than most.
Eve is a beautiful name! People are so weird about names sometimes, it's ridiculous. I got asked what Shea was short for during a midnight transfer, and without thinking said Sahuagin (pronounced Sah-gwin) and the person was like "Oh, that's so nice, is it Irish?" I said yeah instead of admitting it's a creature in DnD 😂
@@everogersdownunder1242 Most people are aware of the Adam and Eve myth, right? Purely as cultural knowledge? If you know that, you know Eve is a name on its own. Tbh, the only Eve I’ve known was my grandmother. It’s admittedly not common for younger people. But you never know when a name is going to come back in style!
Thank you so much Jamie for everything and helping me through my transition journey, I now have gotten top surgery just last week (after 4 years!!) because of your encouragement and reminders that the feeling of being trans is completely normal and I shouldn’t feel terrible
"You don't need to be a girl, you can be a feminine boy!" *masc/butch trans women* "You don't need to be a boy, you can be a masculine girl!" *fem trans men (myself incuded :) )* I love disproving transphobic arguments by simply. * ~ Existing ~ * Something I had to deal with from my mother and (now ex) stepdad though is 'oh but are you sure you're trans? you like really feminine things' Can't win sometimes Funnily though, when I asked 'like what?' they said the fact that I like to draw as an example I mentioned how the majority of the people who took art in my year were boys and also my stepdad was knows to draw on occaision as well They responded well it's not the *fact* that you draw, it's more *what* you draw. Boys draw explosions and cars and you draw people Not only is that the worst thing I've ever heard I was visiby horrified and confused by that, *the* most famous painting, the mona lisa, is that of a person, and the artist was a man Even things like micheangelo's the creation of adam, that's people too
I've been told something along similar lines by my mother. Her evidence? "You weren't like that when you were younger." 🙄 I didn't feel like I had a choice if I wanted friends. I'm already an odd enough person, I certainly didn't need more weirdness to my personality.
@@jamiehung4028 yep, my parents "proof" that I'm not trans is that I was "super feminine as a kid". Yeah, this "super feminine" period just so happened to align with when I was mostly wearing hand-me-downs from my super feminine cousins. The fact that I always choose the least feminine option and frequently had meltdowns over my clothing options is apparently irrelevant.
The hoops people jump through to invalidate us are quite funny sometimes. My dad, for example, has some very quiet sexist beliefs. He has a strong belief that being "feminine" (self-defined by him) is inherent to females and that they will naturally gravitate towards nurturing activities like cooking, cleaning and bearing children. He also believes that men are inherently violent and better in combat not because of strength, but because it's in their nature. But the moment I came out as trans, no amount of revulsion on my part to the thought of learning to cook or having children could convince him that my gender was on the masculine side of the spectrum. Suddenly, it didn't matter HOW masculine I was or how strongly I deviated from the "ideal" of womanhood. It couldn't possibly be in my nature to be manly, because I was born female. But even when I only went against nature, in his eyes, I can never be seen as his son. On another note, I also love disproving transphobic arguments by existing. I'm a trans man who likes men *almost* exclusively. I never identified as a lesbian or had any relationships with women, which disproves the popular TERF argument that trans men are just lost lesbians who don't want to be women because of sexism. Like, I'm gay. I like dudes. How do they explain away my identity??
Luxeria has this bit on “We can always tell” which is brilliant and then I heard it in a conversation so obviously I ran away because I couldn’t stop laughing.
I personally got an "I always suspected" from my brother when I came out as bi. It struck me as more of a superiority know-it-all flex than anything else. I came out at 30 years old, having had quiet crushes for ages, and some very secret experimentation in high school that not even my lesbian bff knew about. So I finally come to terms with those secret crushes being a real, meaningful part of my sexual identity, and my bro goes, "oh yeah, I knew the whole time." Nah, he was full of BS, and just wanted to say that he always knew.
Hmm. My dad does that. Not about important stuff, but when he's watching a quiz show he'll pretend he knew the right answers all along, or if he got one right by a lucky guess he pretends he actually really knew all about it.
My step dad when I came out: "makes sense" Like he COULD SEE THE SIGNS and still doesn't gender me right after many years People just like to blatantly ignore facts
Yeah, the "I always knew/suspected" response is just a way for a cis person stealing a queer person's thunder and making their vulnerable moment all about them. It's not supportive or reassuring at all, and begs the question of, "If you're such an expert on who is and isn't queer, then why didn't you say anything about it or indicate any support for me when I was struggling to accept myself and feel safe enough to live openly?" It's also like winning a race you trained for months to prepare for, only to see your family in the audience not cheering for you. Then, when you ask them later why they weren't happy for you, they just shrug and say, "We knew you'd win the race." Maybe they did, maybe they didn't, but they could have at least bothered to celebrate with you or pretend to be surprised, supportive, or enthusiastic about it. Being queer is difficult enough, but coming out is so much more difficult, even terrifying. Everyone who does so deserves to be celebrated, not smugly waved off as if their hardship and triumph over fear is old news.
🟣 : hi I'm Purple! 🔴 : Everyone is either Red or Blue so are you reddish Blue or bluish Red? 🔵 : yeah! You have to pick. Eventually you will have to choose one or the other. 🟣 : but I'm Purple... 😢 🟢 : yeah, Purple is Purple! 🔵 and 🔴 : 😡
How difficult is it to understand that if someone has never "taken the time" to put thought into their own gender identity, then they are not likely bothered by any kind of gender identity issues, nor are they likely experiencing any amount of body dysmorphia? That's kind of the inherent definition of being cisgender, is that you identify with the gender you were assined at birth without any problem. It's shocking that people can't understand that.
But at the same time that lays at the root of the problem: the fact that most people tend not to experience the continuous amount of second thoughts about how you feel compared to how you look is what makes it so incredibly difficult for people to understand. Unfortunately for some people that is then readily abused by making it out to be something that "just suddenly happens".
@Dutch3DMaster apparently the general population of transphobes are at a pathological level of being unable to epathize with anyone about any situation they haven't personally experienced. I mean, I've never been mugged or lost a limb, but I don't need to actually experience that to believe what someone tells me about how traumatic and damaging that is for them. Jeez. The short answer is that they don't want to accept transgender people, so they refuse to accept what they say. The idea of "I don't understand something, so I'm just going to refuse to believe it happens" is just so colossally stupid it is truly mind boggling. I don't understand quantum physics or the actual distances between the planetary orbits in our solar system either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to refuse to believe the people who are educated about those topics.
Right?! Like I don't take an allotted thirty minutes to sit there and be sad about my tits, I have to deal with that feeling creeping up on me while I'm at work, or trying to spend time with my partner, or trying to sleep. It's super annoying! I don't have time for that shit but it gets in there anyways!
Yes, Mind-boggling can be a way to excuse transphobia, but for an accepting senior citizen it can be quite the learning curve. I watch this channel to learn and understand and have to google something with almost every video i watch.
Thank you so much for putting in the time and effort to learn about LGBTQ+ people. Understanding is a key factor in acceptance. More people should be like you. I appreciate you!
@@kuuderepanda4207 thank you. As a straight, white, Christian, male in America I feel I need to remind myself that the way I see the world and the way the world sees me is not the same for so many.
I love that Jamie is calling out weaponized incompetence by men in mainly cis het relationships! ❤ Men that are feminist ally's are lovely and very much needed ❤ love your content btw.
I hate when a man can't cook and then someone makes excuses Like seriously no Learn your basic life skill, you turd Imo everyone should have basic skills in cooking, sewing, cleaning and sometimes even car knowledge Basic. Survival. And. Cleanliness. Should. Not. Be. Gendered. There was a dude who went to the same food bank as me Didn't even know how to use spices. (I'm a man that can cook, and most of the time it's just throwing ingredients together that seem or smell compatible)
Before I even knew I was trans , I would come off as a cis-male without trying , makes me happy , even if at the time I had no idea I would ever turn out to be trans (my mom was really transphobic, and once I was able to get into a non-toxic household , with my grandparents, thats when I found out)
@@dragonwolfzero820 Charley is it's own name but it can also be short for other names. Like Charlotte or Charlene. With a girl ppl often don't expect Charley to be it's own name.
There's a nonbinary but femme reading author who had a flight attendant insist on using the longer, femme version of their short, masc-to-unisex name when addressing them--despite the fact that their boarding pass and passport both had the short name listed, and the passenger was correcting her each time. Bonus: the short name is their birth name.
I got to witness a moment like you are describing just last week. We had a major snowstorm and the neighbours son came over to help us and our other neighbours dig out. (Shared driveway on the side of a mountain, seven feet of snow) The neighbours son is named Bailey. A couple days later, the neighbours who are not Baileys parents came over and told us that when our other neighbour moved in, they had a daughter. Now they have a son. This was news to them. My dear sweet summer child husband suddenly got all worried because when Bailey left he said “Thanks for all your help man!” He had completely mixed things up and I just kissed his forehead and told him that Bailey probably loved that for himself. (We are not only new to the area but new to the province so we had no reason to assume anything about anyone). My dear husband used to be a bit of a bigot. I don’t usually subscribe to changing your partner but he needed some lessons on this subject. He has made me so very proud with his progress.
Been struggling a bit with my grandma moving in because I have no idea if it’s even ok to break the ice on me being nonbinary, she knows I’m queer at least, but not exactly in which direction. But it’s become a struggle of my family using way too many feminine nouns and pronouns to cover it up.
As an old lady myself, I can say that we just want you happy and healthy. My son has an amazing friend who recently came out as nonbinary and even though I slip occasionally and still use their old pronouns, my son and his friend are able to remind me, "they", which is helpful for all of us. Know your grandmother may not fully get it at first (although she may), and she may slip up sometimes, but if she is someone you want to be around then she wants to know all about you! Best of luck in everything you do!
That sucks that you are going through that. I hope if you do decide to tell your grandma that she is supportive. And if you don’t that’s ok too because coming out is a personal thing and should be a choice you make not that anyone else makes for you.
You can always try to see if she's okay with trans people in general by bringing up the subject some other times in a more subtle way. Maybe just gender non-conformity. I definetely think if it's starting to hurt your mental health you should bring it up. My grandmas are both cool with it. One is definetely more thinking I'm still a girl who acts like a boy but like uses the right pronouns and stuff and don't make any out of line comments. It's just clear she's a bit confused. So it's whatever honestly. And the other one generally gets it but she was always a bit more progressive. Still, it's definetely a new concept for them but they can see it makes me happier and that it kinda make sense with how I've always been. So that spoke volume. It's worth to note I am an adult, who came out as an adult. I do think that contributes a lot. I don't know if I would have had that respect if I came out younger.
The bow on the baby thing? My mom did the same shit with me! She stuck a bow on my bald head with Scotch tape (or sellotape in British) because of all the people who called me “an adorable little boy!”. Spoiler alert: I grew up to be transmasc non-binary. 😂😂😂
I was a bit biphobic before I realized I was ✨️not straight✨️ I'm embarrassed. I kissed a girl when i was nine, but I didn't even start realizing I liked girls until i was fifteen. I still question it now, when I'm thirty and dating a woman. The internalized homophobia runs deep!
My sister didn't do the "I'd always suspected", but before I came out we were talking about resumes, and she asked if I put she/they on mine. I autopilotes said yes, and that was how I came out to her as genderfluid!
Thus far i have ran into one cis person who i actually believed when they said they already knew, and i believe him because he actively listens, is knowledgeable about the community, and led with "im glad you reached the point of feeling comfortable to come out" and only later mentioned that he had picked up on the signs.
19:03 I literally have an INTACT male shepherd dog, and made him a baby blue collar with a tiny pink name tag (cause if I can add any pink anywhere, I will), which still was enough to be told “He’s a dude, why is there pink in his collar? There shouldn’t be pink in his collar”.
7:26 when i went to England, I told everyone i met that my name was Cat, and they constantly would ask me what its short for and I just kept saying to just call me Cat. I just dont want to explain the fact that my White Society name is not the same as my Native name and that I sort of chose this version of my white society name.
Cis woman here, trying to learn how to better compliment trans people without it sounding backhanded. Thanks for the insight! I've definitely said a few of these, and now I feel bad for my past ignorance.
I had a used to be friend who always had backhanded comments that were actually harmful, I doubt anything you've said is as bad as this one women treated men of all kinds She'd always set aside gay and Trans men from men overall, especially when it came to Trans men bc "they understand" that's bs lmao (I can tell you as a Trans man myself--I have never once understood, I was too dissociated to. I watch mama doctor Jones to educate myself about women) Back to the used to be friend She would take every opportunity to remind a Trans person about their gender assigned at birth and their forcefully assigned parts they're uncomfortable with. Very uncomfy person to talk to. She also hated men to an uncomfy degree and always had a "women superior, let's just insult all men bc they're all evil, except this group were going to set aside and call "guys" "
Thanks for putting in effort to learn about the community! You seem to genuinely care and want to be better, which is more than most can say. I applaud you!
9:28 "gentle persuasion and gentle trying to make you feel uncomfortable" my dad tried to do this. I'm a trans man and also ace and I was trying to explain that to him and he goes. "well men are horny" like trying to say I can't be a man and ace. and I shut him down like "no I'm plenty horny I just don't want other people to touch me" 😂 that shut him up pretty fast lol
I'm on the ace spectrum so I totally get that The initial onset of T made me question my asexuality just due to the initial onset of euphoria and hormones but my brain eventually came back around (Grey ace here btw) Nothing about my aceness changed The only thing that changed was my comfort level with my body
I'm Cis het and I have said some of these things 😨 I didn't realize how they sounded. Thank you, Jamie, for breaking down why some of these seemingly innocuous phrases actually can and are harmful. Thanks for being so kind about it as well!
1:04 Do some voice and breathing exercises before shooting. ‘Red Leather Yellow Leather’ and ‘A Box of Biscuits, A Bag of Biscuits, A Biscuit Mixer’ are my favourite.
A woman's woman is a great compliment; in the best circles, transwomen are accepted as a woman's woman or girl's girl too. It basically means that you stan/rock with women, genuinely support women of all kinds/walks of life, build community with women, and this usually implies she is also a feminist.
My dad always talked about how women are inherently feminine in many ways and are hardwired for nurturing and delicate stuff and all that bullshit, and how men are inherently violent and bold and stuff. Then I was outed as trans, and all of a sudden I was allowed to be the most masculine "woman" in the whole world as long as it meant I wouldn't be trans. The switch up is crazy :D
I've had people asking since I came out as trans and started my transition. I don't mind genuine, honest curiosity because let's be real here, it's kinda odd. It's natural to have questions and i think it's better to actually ask a person who is trans than google around and potentially fall into a terf/fart hole. At the same time... ay yai. It's like watching a toddler learn to walk. They're trying so hard and they keep tripping and stumbling and you just wanna say "bless your heart". It's not discriminatory, it's just insensitive.
Well, and I think people need to realize that it's a a line of questioning that falls firmly into the Personal Questions category. Like, sure if you are friends with someone and have an established rapport and the topic naturally comes up, they may be fine with you asking a sincere question. But it's totally different to do it to a random stranger, or totally out of the blue, or ask like you're trying to find out something shocking rather than honestly trying to better understand other people's lives.
When I first met a friend of mine in university when a bunch of us were standing around talking. I didn't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation to ask their name. Someone eventually said it, and I was a little surprised that who I had thought was a guy was actually a girl. Fast forward to just a few years ago and it turns out I was right. Honestly the biggest adjustment was remembering his chosen name.
@@RadioactiveBluePlatypus Thank you! I've always tried to be an ally, but I've only recently realized how much I actually don't know about the LGBTQIAA community. Channels like this one are a great learning tool as well as being very entertaining😁
I have always see Pride as in "I refuse to feel shame for who I am." It was a pushback from abuse at Stonewall, a "We're not going to take it anymore." Regarding comments on how "passable" one is, I sometimes have self judgement when I note that in my thoughts because that sentiment has that flip side of invalidating people who aren't able to "pass." A part of my brain wants to compliment, but I stop because of that flip-side.
Oh my god. My (very transphobic) mom did the bow thing when I was a baby too. But no matter how many frills and bows and pink she put me in, everyone still assumed I was a boy first. Thank you random strangers for validating my gender like 10yrs early
6am in Melbourne Australia on Monday & I've got a sick dog who's also injured & on pain meds and just threw up on my bed at 5am. Happy Monday to me. Need a good video with my coffee. So thanks for uploading, Jaime. So I can escape this for a little bit. ❤❤
Mondays, am I right? (But seriously I hope your dog is ok. They are amazing animals and a beloved part of the family, give the good pupper a biiiig hug)
@PansyPops thank you. He injured himself and we're in to week 3. He's almost 14yo and hurt his neck and leg - we don't know how. He's on super strong pain meds. 2 different kinds 3 x per day. But 1 of them can make them sick. But it's taken over 2 weeks for him to actually get sick. I think it was what I fed him last night. But rushing to strip my bed at 5am when I'm half asleep & rinsing it all in the laundry and waiting to fit it all in the washing machine. Ugh. I feel awful for him. He was sick again outside half an hour later. So, I keeping him outside as he can't settle and lie down inside and keeps getting up and looking like he's gonna be sick. Sigh. It's a wet morning here in Australia but he'll just have to stay under the pergola and get it out of his system. Thank you for the well wishes. And yes, fking Mondays. I've had such a stressful few months, especially last few weeks and last Monday I dropped a whole cup of milky coffee with syrup in it on the carpet and then later that day, smashed glass and salt all over the kitchen floor. I *need* a break 🙄☹️ I will give him a gentle hug from yourself & thank you for letting me rant/vent. ❤️❤️
I'm so exhausted with the "can't you just be a feminine man / masculine woman" as if people who express in a way that is outside the "traditional white Western binary" aren't also constantly belittled and scrutinized at every opportunity. And that's not even getting into the point Jamie makes that for trans folks, it isn't just a case of "being a different type of man/woman."
Those same people then _attack "feminine" men and "masculine"women_ for not behaving in the way that society mandates that a person with their genitals behave.
Yep, I was picked on, accused of betraying women, accused of hating women, accused of being a danger to women, offered to be r*ped to "fix it, called unrepeatable things all because I wasn't feminine. Oh and I had all of these happen by the ripe old age of 12 while wearing exclusively clothes from the girls department (I was not allowed in the boys department) and I didn't even know what being trans was, let alone that I was. Being a masculine woman (though I wasn't) might be more acceptable than being a feminine man, but neither are accepted particularly well.
This. Especially with the current political climate. Case in point, I'm a cis woman with an infant, living in Australia. Here we have 'parenting rooms' these are room for parents (non gender specific) to care for their young children (feeding/ nappies(diapers)/toilet training). But for some reason many women view it as a 'mother's and babies' room. I've been accosted three times going into one of these rooms in the past 5.5 months since my daughter was born, and had the security called once. All because I apparently look a bit too masculine to be a breastfeeding mother.😅
When it comes to collar colors and pets, i always chose the color i thought either matched their personality, or if it looks good with their fur color. For example! My cats (sisters) colors are definitely pink and purple. Its something ive always been confident with, even though theyre inside cats with no collars. Why do people care about the sex of their dog to chose their color? You could be missing the PERFECT color!!
Jamie, could you make a tier-ranking video of ways to respond to someone coming out? Give us cishets who don’t know many trans people a few hints what we can say that will express support and acceptance.
I always think the whole "why do you have to be proud of it?" argument is so funny cause there are literally huge parties being thrown just for a baby being a boy/girl as well as parties about "a girl becoming a woman" or "a boy becoming a man" with the whole family being proud, yet when we are proud, it's weird.
20:05 This was a problem for my parents when sister was a baby (30+ years ago). She had very little hair and my mom's favorite color is blue, so she was dressed in blue a lot. Also, for anyone not listening carefully, her name can sound quite similar to a traditionally masculine name. They just corrected them and moved on.
It's possible that "what's that short for?" may be a way for people to ask about someone's gender without actually asking, as in the case of someone having a short form gender neutral name like Alex, and trying to figure out if the person is an Alexander or an Alexandria. These days It's become polite to ask what someone's pronouns are, but 30 years ago, it would have been considered hella rude if you were introduced to someone of ambiguous gender presentation to ask "are you a man or a woman?" I mean, the latter question would still be rude today, but when I was young, the knowledge and understanding of different gender expressions, or even the existence of NB, was obscure enough that we really didn't know wh!at words to use to ask without being rude, so we didn't ask. There may still be a lot of people who are stuck in that "It's rude to ask" attitude and their confusion and embarrassment might turn them a little more transpobic they what they would have been if they weren't stuck in the social norms they were brought up with.
That's exactly how I interpreted it! The second I read it I could FEEL the person saying it trying to sneakily ask "like the boy name or the girl name though?" lol
Only cats I’ll assume the genders of are calicos and orange tabbies, but that’s because statistically most calicos are girls and a large chunk of orange cats are boys. It was very funny when we rescued my cat I immediately started calling her a girl (since she’s a calico) and my spouse was like. She has girl energy, but we don’t really know for sure. And I had to be like. Babe. Like 99.9% of calicos are girls.
I just wanted to say thanks for helping me realize me being trans! One topic and the click sent me on a journey with my gender, and you were the one who helped me fully realize what I am! I am on three days of progesterone and just starting my medical transition, and in the future years, I will start testosterone! Thank you so much for being a positive force in my life, and helping me discover myself❤
The worst tantrum I've ever personally seen over pronouns was directed at me. Because apparently I misgendered their kids plushie cactus...that I didn't gender. In their screaming rant they called me "a pronoun people". This was in a store and management literally came running, and they immediately flipped on the waterworks accusing me of harming their child, like physically inappropriately harming their child. Security showed up a few seconds later and immediately assumed me to be the threat. Thankfully the manager actually asked my side of the story, which took awhile because every time I opened my mouth, not started talking, just opened my mouth, Karen would start screeching I was dangerous. Thankfully there were witnesses who confirmed all I did was say "I like your cactus" and that I'd never gotten anywhere near the child. They declined to watch the camera footage (what a surprise) and were shocked when they were the one kicked out, screaming the whole way. The saddest bit for me was the kids reaction. Because it wasn't the first, second or hundredth time I've been accused of harming kids, and nowhere near the worst accusation. The kid just stood there playing with the cactus completely immune to the screeching (they weren't deaf because they had responded to my original comment).
That poor kid is just desensitized to their parents nonsense. Still tho that is an insane overreaction. I think the biggest overreact Insaw over pronouns was the guy who got mad about pronouns in startfield (that's a hilarious video btw, I think Jamie reacted to it a while ago)
@@dragonwolfzero820 yep, like I was desensitized to a lot growing up, but at least my parents didn't scream bloody murder on the regular, well at least not in public. I saw a guy in a doctor's office flipping out about the nickname field on the form because "anyone who doesn't go by their real name is mentally [sick]*" until whoever was with him pointed out he went by a nickname and he immediately shut up. Like yes dude, Mike is a nickname (no, I don't remember the name, just picking one at random), this field isn't even for trans people, it's for everyone because a lot of people go by variations on their names. Amanda Jane goes by AJ, Samantha goes by Sam, Tyler David goes by David because he likes it.... *[ ] Slur replacement
in my last year of school, i began coming out towards the end of the year, and i talked to the school welfare officer about it (she was a lesbian!) she said stuff along the lines of "i'm really excited for your journey!" and personally i was quite happy with it, because it was supportive
I just thought of something, what if a parent and their child came out to each other at the same time Son : Mom, I'm trans Mom : Hi trans, I'm dad Now Daughter : .... Now Father : ha
7:45 This immediately made me think of the people who act like if a boy does "girl" things like wear dresses or plays with like a fake kitchen set it's going to "make them gay or trans" & the same if a girl does "boy" things when in reality that's not how gender identity or sexuality works & even if it did who cares. People like this will scream about just letting kids be kids but then act like if kids aren't conforming to gender stereotypes, then they need to be forced into them instead of just actually letting kids dress how they like & play with toys they like. It's one thing if a child had a preference for one thing over another, but it's a completely different thing to force them into that preference simply because of their presumed gender
I work at Walmart and I had a customer come through my line once and saw my nametag said "Nick" alongside all my gay pins And he did the biggest eyebrow raise and was like "What's that short for? Is your name Nicole?" and I'm like "no I'm just Nick" and he's like fckin "natalie?" or some shit LIKE NO DUDE I GET IT YOU CLOCKED ME AND WANNA MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE BUT MY NAME IS JUST MY NAME
I've commented something similar before. I witnessed a well meaning christian guy give a backhanded compliment at a lgbtq+ event, towards someone who 100% reminds me of Jamie, at a church I sometimes used to go to. Of course a trans man is going to look like a good looking man, that's literally the point, you are what you have always known yourself to be. Was he expecting the guy to glow purple?
Assuming friends makes me think of college, this girl and I kept hearing about each other through mutual friends that we'd like each other because I knit and she crocheted. They ended up being right about us becoming good friends, but turned out we have a lot more in common than yarn.
Hey you beautiful people. A user OfficerZ637 (took the @ off their user name so they aren't notified) is spamming the comments section with a "breaking news" hideous hateful comment about our Jamie. I'm reporting all I see... and encourage you to do so, instead of entering into conversation. Love and light to all of the LGBTQIA+ folks here and the allies and advocates too! ❤❤❤❤
For example I'm proud of being my authentic autistic self. We face so much criticism on the daily for being ourselves. And the point people don't get why we could be proud it's because we can't change who we are. Same as anyone part of the lgbtq+ community. We can't change and we are forced to deal with the hardships for many times on our own. We're proud that we made it to another day without hurting ourselves or others. Or that others didn't try to make our lives impossible. It's not the same as being banned but some of the burocracy across the world is incredibly shitty towards people with autsim. I didn't mean to make this comment about myself but further proof that you can be proud of simply belonging and not being killed for being who you are.
Lol you totally get the same thing in the disability community where people think you'll instantly love someone with the same disability as you. At least, that's been my experience as a blind woman. :) It's histarical! Jamie, you rock! :) I do hope I've spelled your name correctly!
I've had my Mother say stuff like _"Can't you just be a Feminine Man?"_ no... Because I'm not a Feminine man, I'm Trans, I'm a Trans Lesbian {Unable to Transition due to my Situation...}
The "I wish I had as much free time" is definitely not well intended. Very common bitchy, passive aggressive, green around the gills with envy Karen comment. "Look at me, being so busy doing all these important things while you lazy/entitled/irresponsible/whatever person waste your time doing something I would love to do but I don't" is the translation.
16:17 I think we subconciously surrounded ourselves with likeminded people and people with similar experiences/identities. This is coming from a trans, demisexual/romantic, autistic boy. ALL of my closest friends are autistic, I didn't befriend them because they were autistic, but they happened to be. One of those friends is also trans, one if them is gender queer/unlabeled, ALL of them are queer/lgbtq in some way... It just happens to work out in that way, and I see it happen a lot. 🤷 I think its a subconcious thing.
The "why can't you just be a masculine woman/ feminine man" people get really mad when someone transitions TO a feminine man or masculine woman.
Gender nonconformity is underrated! Otoh, how we perceive gender expression is subjective, and I wouldn’t want to accidentally say something invalidating.
@OfficerZ637"sources" meaning "I pulled this bullshit out my ass"
@Nat_778 Yeah, prob just some annoying bot
I used to say this in highschool because I didn't actually understand what gender was and just thought we all refered to people by their genitals because of preferances or something. I also really didn't understand gender disphoria because I didn't care if I was a guy or girl and assumed that was normal.
I now know I'm Agender and not even remotely normal.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST CONFUSED! Try not to assume the worst >_
@@jw-06 that officer account up there has a profile pic consistent with a cyber-bullying and raiding group, it could be a bot or could be someone copy and pasting responses with menial edits to correspond to the channel they're on
"I just don't see why it's something to be 'proud' about..."
I was made to be ashamed of myself for 30 years. Never again.
I'm sorry you had to go through that 😢 I know it's not always easy, but like Jamie said, be proud of yourself ❤
Exactly. It's about refusing to be ashamed.
You are enough!!!!🏳⚧🏳🌈🏳⚧🏳🌈♥
When my daughter was a baby, I put her in a lot of gender neutral clothing (gender coding of baby clothes is pernicious). When a stranger misgendered her, it was usually a compliment (He's so cute!) or sympathy (Oh, he's giving you a hard time today), and I wouldn't feel any need to correct them. Just "Thank you" or "Yeah, it's been a long day." But I remember one day when she was atypically decked out in all pink, and a gentleman in the grocery checkout line made a comment using "he." And I had this moment that was less about her being misgendered than it was about him somehow missing the flashing neon sign saying, "Girl! Girl! Girl!" Then I pulled myself together and replied, " Yes, he is." It only occurred to me much later that the man might have been red/green color blind, rather than being oblivious.
Good final point. If the design of the clothes are neutral and only had pink colour, some people wouldn't be able to tell.
It would be different if it was frills, bows and skirt which are feminine-coded.
My mom told me that she dressed me weary “girly” so a lot of pink and I got called a boy too it’s kinda funny to me
"But what about the children?"
The children: were gay
Were?
@@erikcat2.036the weregay: they come out during a full moon
@OfficerZ637uh huh sure
@OfficerZ637 would you care to cite those sources of yours
@OfficerZ637Oh hey, what a coincidence! You're the guy in someone else's comments section that claims to enjoy CP, and not Club Penguin! Kindly alt+F4 yourself out of existence ❤️
I'm a cis woman who grew up in the 70s and used to get mad at the idea that I wanted a barbie over a train set and left a club and walked home because the girls weren't allowed to do the rocketry projects.
Gendered activities and clothing was stupid back then and it's doubly stupid now! No one cared who played with the Star Wars action figures as long as they sold. I even still have some of my original ones from 79.
Do what you love, wear what you want. Spin that skirt and rock that flannel. You have always been and will always be valid and more than enough!
Love and laughter to all!
@OfficerZ637 Oh screw off troll!
@OfficerZ637 My computer has a lot of computational power, too. It's a hexacore!
Appearantly, the industry does care about selling gendered products, and will pull shows off the air if the "wrong" gender likes them and buys their merch, cuz that makes them compete against themselves. It's the reason Teen Titans was pulled and not continued, cuz it was popular with girls, and they didn't wantthem buying the superhero toys, so the Barbies (etc) would still sell.
I know what you mean. I'm about the same age, and was part of a group of girls who went to the shop teacher and asked to take shop. His response? He said that a girl wouldn't know the difference between a flat head and a Philips head screwdriver. What Jamie said is so right. Then again, although I'm a CIS woman, my husband stayed home and did most of the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing while I went out to work as a Software Developer/Technical Writer. It worked well for us, but once we tried to rent a home nearer my job only to be told that they wouldn't rent to us and they wanted to know what was wrong with my husband that he didn't go out to work.
@OfficerZ637 sources say you pulled the shit out of your ass as you sat on the toilet seat and ate it. Bet it tasted good.
Fun animal fact: penguins will form gay/lesbian relationships and then adopt orphaned penguin hatchlings or eggs
Which is why I love penguins
Natures foster system
I think that might be the evolutionary purpose for homosexuality. I mean, it seems helpful to the group if you have pairs of parents that won't have children of their own to adopt orphaned offspring - more offspring surviving means better chances for survival of the group...
And this is why gay people should be allowed to adopt children. Now if only the politicians in my country knew about this...
@@robertnett9793It's difficult to make group selection work - individuals who use the system tend to take over the group and then life is terrible for everyone. But it would be interesting to see if such same-sex penguins preferably adopted hatchlings/eggs from relatives. That might work.
When I came out to my sister she said “I knew it!! Thank you for telling me, but I knew it!!” Then she told me about the little hints she saw and how she had thought if anyone in the family was lgbt+ it would be me. It was very nice.
My sister did the same thing
lol my sister was the same. she said she made a bet with her friend about me being gay or transgender.
That's awesome! My best friend was similar; she was like "Honestly I've been thinking about what to say when you brought this up since middle school, because I always knew there was something, but didn't want to ask and push you into anything until you were ready." Apart from the joking "you mean I could've saved so much time and and agony if you'd told me" I definitely teared up.
aww that’s honestly cute
My sister didn't have that kind of reaction, even at one point refusing to call me brother when I noticed she kept calling me sibling.
But at my dad's house (where I'm not there very often, but she lives there) she's the one to correct people, and I really appreciate that since I'm never over.
"Do you have any new year's resolutions?"
"No, I'm trans."
That's gonna be my new reason for not doing resolutions
Mine would be. " Not get murdered like Nex did" because I'm also Nonbinary and im scared of my state passing the three anti-trans laws that just went into the courts and I'm afraid of people taking stuff further in my state and start murdering people here too..
@xmlstudios yeah ik that. It's scary all around.
@xmlstudios also in the US there was also a bunch of murdered too
@xmlstudios this is exactly the reason I'm not coming out yet (UK)
@xmlstudios yeah but I live in quite a small town so everyone knows each other and I'm unable to move away right now. Ill be waiting for a bit :)
My dad has just told me “No one was gay or trans in the old west. Those things only came about in the 90s” It’s so sad that so much history is just lost. You can look it up nowadays and find information if you really search, but if you already have a bias against it, you may never know
Queer people back then either
-Tried to force themselves to live as something they're not
-died
-had some traits of their actual gender and could actually pass (actually, due to different expectations in different countries it can be easier to pass in some places then others)
@dragonwolfzero820 They say trans people were never a thing in history... then write off every single AFAB person who disguised themselves as a man and lived that way as simply what a woman had to do for rights and independence in that time. Which I'm sure was sometimes true, especially among the ones who did it to join armies in wartime, but let's be honest a large amount were definitely transmasc in some way - or agender/nonbinary/genderfluid with relatively little dysphoria and decided posing as a man was worth it for male privilege.
This narrative that all of those people were simply women who dressed as men because of the awful state of women's rights, and never once mentioning the serious dysphoria that might strike most cis women attempting to do that long term, actually contributed to me not discovering my fluidity when I really should have. All I knew was those women must have had something special and rare about them that made posing as a man doable, or else a hell of a lot more women would have done it, and whatever that was I had it too because I didn't really care about being misgendered, sometimes got a thrill out of successfully posing as a boy, but also felt little to no discomfort over being a girl, so obviously I'm cis since to be trans means having crippling gender dysphoria and for me it was like, sensory frustration over periods, at the absolute worst, so I didn't have dysphoria as my AGAB or as the opposite when needs must, which I thought of as a fun curiosity but not important to mention to my caregivers or doctors.
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If you search for Kaz Rowe they have a really good video on this actually?
Cowboy culture was literally so gay and transgender people and 2spirit people were cowboys aswell! History has been colonized and white washed, and your father is playing into gentrified western and perpetuating cycles. I’m sorry you have to deal with him
"I just don't see why it's something you have to be 'proud' about." Are you kidding? Navigating all that paperwork, the ID changes (so, SO many ID changes) once the name change goes through, navigating a medical system that often ranges from undereducated to downright hostile, coming out to family, friends, and colleagues who might not understand or be accepting, and through it all, SURVIVING.
THAT Is what we have to be proud of.
the other day my mom asked me "are all of your theatre friends theys?" i almost started laughing, it was so out of touch but also so accurate
Omg almost all of my theatre friends are theys
And pretty much all of my friends are theys to my mother because she doesn't like to get it wrong I guess
that's amazing lol
Little story on the topic of „I’ve always suspected“ : when I came out as trans ftm to my gynaecologist, she said she could’ve told me that two years ago but that I would’ve probably thrown a chair in her face back then 😂 yes that’s actually what she said
Well I don't know about that. But when I was doing an hypnotherapy session it came up I might be trans accidentally and I kinda shouted "NO" and then shut down for the rest of the appointment and left. And it only hit me like a year or so afterwards. I need to call her back honestly, just to allow her the room to gloat lmao.
I wasn't even opposed to the idea I was mostly like "oh god that'd be so much work".
At least nowadays a "girl's girl" means someone who supports and uplifts other girls, doesn't see them as competition etc!
I guess that mean’s I’m a people’s guy, I uplift everyone!
yeah, it's interesting how a man's man seems to imply that he would treat women poorly, but girl's girl just implies that she'll like tell you if your makeup is messed up and not steal your boyfriend 😆 idk, is that just me or do other people see them differently like that?
When I was, like, a pubescent kid, "she's a real girl's girl, you know?" was a euphemism for "she's a lesbian".
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jz it's just the context i've heard it in, he's a "boy's boy" or a "man's man" meaning "bros before hoes" or whatever, which would imply that he's averse to spending time with his girlfriend etc, almost along the lines of "boys will be boys." but hey i'm glad if you haven't heard it in that context
Can I be a person's person? What would the gender neutral expression be?
I shaved my head a few times in college when I was more femme presenting (although, not that femme). I did have people ask me if i regretted it. A few times it was a woman asking because she was considering shaving her head. But not always.
Also, once when I was working in a drive-thru fast food place, a woman asked me if i had cancer. When i told her no, she then told me that i should grow my hair out.
There are people that have no idea how to mind their own business about the smallest things.
Yeah
It's weird
There's some people that legitimately don't really care for having hair and thats ok. There is nothing wrong with personal preference and people gotta mind their own business
It's so weirddddd
As a trans guy, I've had people tell me all sorts of things about how I should look more feminine. Especially with my hair. Everybody acted so devastated when I finally cut my hair off, and people sometimes tell me "you would look so much prettier with long hair!" Like, no I wouldn't, because I'd have pretty hair and a miserable expression. Someone in my family commented about my boyfriend having long hair, saying she was glad he cut it off because he looked like a girl, and boys should have short hair. NO! My boyfriend is very clearly a dude, no matter how long his hair is. And he should wear it however he likes!
I had three separate people tell me they were organ donors and could save my life when I shaved my head. Like, firstly, it's a fashion choice, but even if I had cancer... Not while you're alive you can't???
Bro I fucking got that too. My abusive father had shaved my head when I was very little, and people legitimately COULDNT tell my gender, but I also had people asking if I had cancer and just... WTF MAN.
Also when i cut most of my hair off, (years later, when I figured out I was indeed nonbinary, and not a cis woman), and got my sides shaved, people are like " i loved your long hair!!","you looked better with long hair!" "Your long hair was so beautiful and you are a beautiful woman!" "You looked so much happier before cutting your hair, stop having an identity crisis!" ( even tho this was s a stranger who didn't know me.. acting like they know what was better for me than myself..) "you're a beautiful woman, being nonbinary doesn't exist! Just embrace being femme!" Well I WOULD if I wasn't clocked as a woman, and being seen as a woman gave me massive dysphoria and made me hate myself and hate my chest! I like being femme, but people like this make my blood boil. Note, most of those comments are from strangers that know nothing about me, and a few were from family. I'm also paraphrasing some of this so.. yeah.
If we want to be literal about it, "a man's man" would be a man in a committed relationship with another man. Similar with "a woman's woman."
I for one would love to see the literal meaning take over the colloquial one...
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jz Nothing. I'm in favor of mutually consensual love in all of its forms.
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jz why not?
In the US, the word “special” is often sarcastic or straight up euphemistic. Like, when my lactation consultant told me, “You just need to accept that you have a special child”, she meant that my child has a disability. (It’s true, but what a way to say it - coming up on 20 years ago and I’m still mad.)
Ugh, I swear, people need to stop coming up with euphemisms for disabled. Disabled isn't a bad word, it's value neutral. Differently abled, diffabilty, specially abled, handicapable..... No, just use disabled. I've even been told I'm "infantilizing less capable people" for calling **myself** disabled.
@@waffles3629 Yep. I don't think we gain disability acceptance by acting like disability is too horrible to even name. It's just a different way of painting over it.
@@thatjillgirl yep, like thinking that refusing to use the words a community wants to use and instead using words you've been asked not to use is "acceptance" is mind boggling. Like no, you are not accepting me by forcing euphemisms on me and refusing to listen to me because you know better. In fact it's the exact opposite.
I had an incident at work once, where I introduced myself to someone. I'm nonbinary, and my name is a single letter, and when I told the guy that, he asked, "Oh, is that short for (deadname)?"
I have never had anyone ask that, so I panicked and said, "It used to be."
This was a year ago, and I still think about this sometimes
i had kind of the opposite happen, on the first day at a new high school someone asked me if my name, Eve, was short for anything, I panicked and said it was short for Evan, which it isn't but nothing like the first day of school to come out to your classmates, anyways I'm best friends with that person now but still very much in the closet with most people :)
@@indigodino3897 Eve short for Evan is so funny though. I would befriend the person introducing themselves like that, too.
But I asked two Indian people today who was "better" because they said they come from two different casts. We all laughed. They are modern.
Why?
@OfficerZ637 source say you pulled that shit out of your ass and ate it. You commented this under a video about a DEAD NON-BINARY PERSON WHO WAS ALSO A MINOR AS WELL.
@@Qq-xs1fz trans panic when asked if your name is related to one you don't use anymore. Makes you feel like shit.
My response to “did you regret transitioning/ some part of my transition” is to ask them “if they regret going out looking like that” which usually leads to a teachable moment by waiting for them to finish their reaction (usually negative) and saying something along the lines of that’s how I felt about their question. 16:21
Love the quick response! 10/10
I have a strong opinion that clothes for young children should have trucks and unicorns and dinosaurs and love hearts all mashed together. That is all.
sell clothes and also make them in adult sizes
I remember growing up in the 90's, my favorite shirt was pink with a green eastern dragon on it. Could have passed as a boy's shirt if it was any other color. I loved that shirt to literal bits. Kids don't care, they just want cool clothes.
THIS. You see it occasionally for short periods when the market demands it, but it needs to be the permanent basis. Mash up all the colours and iconography, the kids don't care and you can hand down clothes to more people with less ickyness from the parents
Not sure about that…I never liked trucks, only dinosaurs and other animals/ nature. Just let it be separate designs but let the kids wear what they want whenever they’re aware of what they’re wearing enough to choose.
@@armie4172 I meant more not carefully delineating by traditionally "male" and "female" topics. Like, if you would've been happy in a yellow top with kittens and baby koalas and capybaras, I'd 100% support that.
Or even peach, with specifically jurassic-era herbivorous dinosaurs sleeping atop clouds, on your pj top & bottoms.
It's not about "you should be into everything"; it's "you might be, and are allowed to be, into anything".
❤🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️🌈
Daily reminder; You are valid and amazing just the way you are!
🏳️🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜
:))
As are you! ❤️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Thank you so much
You are valid and you matter. Take care!! 💙💗🤍 💗💙
haha, ironically this is a compliment that gives me this "Well Meaning, but Not Quite" vibe! My grandma always says "I love you just the way you are" but what those words can mean includes "I love you how you are and you shouldn't change" or "I love you how I perceive you as so conform to that" with a tiny anxiety that "I won't love you if you change"! IMO this sort of statement is best ended with "- no matter what"!
I'm openly trans. A lot of people ask me questions out of curiosity. I answer them but tell them most trans people wouldn't like being asked those questions.
I'm disabled, and the same thing happens. They better get used to it and have ready answers, because it won't stop.
Yeah its weird when people ask a trans person questions they wouldn't ask a cis person. Its kind of you to answer and definitely good to remind them that the questions arent really appropriate to ask. I can only think of a few instances where questions may actually warrant an answer, like if the person asking someone you're romantically or sexually involved with. Like if you're planning on being sexually intimate with someone then it may be relevant to know if they've had specific types of surgery or not and if they plan to in the near future, I've never asked because I feel that someone's genitalia is the least interesting thing about them, but I have had girls volunteer this info to me in case it changed whether I'd want to date them. If something hopes to start a family then it is relevant to know if their partner can have children naturally and if they'd want to or if they'll need to look into other ways of starting your family. Or if someone's legal name is still their dead name their future spouse would need to know that for the purpose of legal paperwork.
I can also understand why another trans person who maybe hasn't come out yet or is at a different point in the transition may ask questions. Like it wouldn't surprise me if my son asked older trans men about binding or what it's like to take testosterone since those are things he's likely to do at some point and it may be helpful to ask someone who has experienced it. Those are the only circumstances I can think of where it would make sense to ask any personal or invasive questions of a trans person.
yeah i got asked my deadname by a gay person and had to politely explain that while *i* wasnt upset with him, you shouldn't ask that of trans people. It took him a second to get it but it was alright
@OfficerZ637 which sources?
@@sovietbot6708 Don't engage, just flag.
24:18 god.. I’m genderfluid and this is the one everyone says to me
“You’re just changing clothes”
no I’m not, CHAD, my BRAIN AND THOUGHTS are changing while my outfits always SUCK!! Thanks for REMINDING ME
14:49 the 'you share the same identities so I'll assume you'll be besties!' thing happens for disabled folks too. The *amount* of times I've gently had to inform a well-meaning neurotypical person that just because someone else is autistic too doesn't mean we'll get on....
Fr, and the assumption that every disabled person and/or LGBTQ person knows each other! Like no, Susan, my cousin doesn't know your friend's son's girlfriend's brother just because they both happen to be in wheelchairs.
Yep, it's even better when the person has a completely unrelated condition. Like oh yeah, I've got migraine, I can't imagine why I don't know some random amputee from another continent.
Some of my best friends have been autistic. Some of the worse people I have ever met in my life have also been autistic. It's the true beauty of a spectrum.
@@ArturGlass.Cand one autistic person's necessary-for-function stim is another autistic person's sensory-hell 'if you don't knock that sh!t off I'm going to throw either you or myself out a window'
Heard a disabled comedian the other day make a joke about how he's been told before that he should marry someone "like him". Honestly made my jaw drop straight to the floor. Why the fuck would two people be perfectly compatible just because they're both disabled? And why would a disabled person have to avoid marrying someone who isn't disabled?
One of these that could get a pass under the right circumstances is the, "It's a bit mindboggling to someone like me" if and only if it is followed up with "So if I make a mistake and say something inappropriate I need you to call me out so I can do better." Also the "Do you regret it," is acceptable coming from someone who is considering the same procedure.
I hate when people expect me to be friends with some random strangers because we’re both trans for many reasons: the reason Jamie listed but also BECAUSE THEYRE OUTING THE OTHER PERSON!!! Do not just randomly tell people (even other queer people) about your queer loved one. That can put them in danger.
Two Trans people can be completely incompatible
I've had that happen, myself
If the only thing you can find yourself able to talk with that person about is how your experiences as Trans are simar or different
You probably won't be friends tbh
Person was all about dogs and liked being under the influence of things(totally fine for them, just are two things are incompatible--he was cool our personalities also just didn't really mesh)
@@dragonwolfzero820 One of the biggest assholes I've ever acquainted myself with was a trans guy. He was incompatible with the whole friend group lol
I refer to literally everyone not in the room (so to speak) with gender-neutral language because someone pointed out to me that it does wonders for anonymity in some contexts
Pride is the opposite of shame. Being proud of your LGBTQIA identity just means you're not ashamed of it.
@@cabezadepija7318 mouthy sheep 😂
@@cabezadepija7318 Weird way to admit you are made to feel societal shame for both sexuality and speaking out against the status quo.
If only people wanted to actually remove said shame instead of pretending it's not there cause of (fascist) machismo .
@@cabezadepija7318 be proud, and don't listen to the ones who shame you. They want us to be hateful of ourselves and our identity, and to get murdered and have our rights taken away. Don't let them win. Be proud and show it off!!
this comment makes me confused on which side your on
“Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote.”
-Uncle Iroh
As a nonbinary, polyamorous, bisexual, I refuse to make any choices ever
Being openly nonbinary and not feeling a need to have any surgery or hrt is interesting bc my friends are all like "oh yeah that's Ace they're cool" and then I go to the er for something and it's like "Alright Mrs. Ace" and my mom is trying to tell them about what I'm dealing w bc I struggle talking and she's like "So they have xyz symptoms" and the doc's like "yeah so she might have" and I'm like yeah....
Arrh I feel you. I'm enby but transmasculine. While I do need surgery I'm still generally gender apathic socially. But I'm gonna have to change my gender on my ID even if my country don't allow a third option because Istg no one can get a fucking clue even if it's spelt out.
I've literally been gendered correctly by a stranger only one time and it was clearly because they didn't know if I was a boy or a girl not because they clocked me as enby. Still I wish people's default reaction to not knowing or having their assumptions challenged would be like that all the time; to stay gender neutral or ambiguous rather than hang onto ID or try to guess one or the other and fundamentally getting it wrong every time.
Gender confusion gives me Gender euphoria until dumbasses gotta ruin it by overcompensating like that.
I have a similar problem with medical establishments. I’m openly trans, got my beard growing in, and I pass extremely well but when I take my daughter to the doctor, they still call me “she” because I’m the birth giver. And I’ve told them I’m trans but they don’t care.
My daughter school calls me “the parent” though so they don’t insult either way lmao.
You remind me of myself! I'm afab nonbinary that doesn't want any medical intervention and i also have problems talking so my mom does it for me lol
I don't know you but i feel like you get me 💜
I get you 🤝
@@faefolkarts thanks! Sending you hugs from the internet 🫂🫂🫂
Lee? It’s short for LEEEEROOOOY JENKINS!!!!
May: Mayonnaise
Liz: Lizard
June: June’s Journey
Jim: Jimothy
Tim: Thames
Meg: Nutmeg
Connie: Connecticut
Dee: Trage-DEE of Darth Plagueis the Wise
Doesn't matter, got my chicken.
Leif short for tree
@@frick3417 I'm sure I'm missing something, but I like the Meg/Nutmeg combo. It's unexpected, but not so far from what people are used to that it makes life difficult for the bearer of the name.
My full, legal, first name is _Katie._ It's not short for anything. _Way_ too many people have decided that I must be confused: I might go by "Katie," but that can't _possibly_ be my "real" name. Even as an adult, I've had to argue that I do, indeed, know my actual name. 🤦🏻♀️ I often have to explain why my name is a nickname before they'll believe me.
My father goes by a nickname of his _middle_ name. It's caused some issues for him. His father went by a nickname of our _last_ name. So, when I was born, my father decided that if he and my mom were going to call me "Katie," then that would be my name.
My father's attempt to circumvent the problems he'd had with having to explain his name, he actually caused me a whole different set of issues.
My name is Eve. Full stop. And i get asked if it's short for something.
I'm now 40yo & growing up as an Eve was a challange. I was teased & made to feel my name was crap.
I now love my name as it's more unique than most.
what do people want it to be short for? "evening"?? eve is a lovely name and i'm glad to hear you've been unwavering in your pride in it!!
Eve is a beautiful name! People are so weird about names sometimes, it's ridiculous. I got asked what Shea was short for during a midnight transfer, and without thinking said Sahuagin (pronounced Sah-gwin) and the person was like "Oh, that's so nice, is it Irish?" I said yeah instead of admitting it's a creature in DnD 😂
@@echoc7213 🤣🤣 well played
@@everogersdownunder1242 Most people are aware of the Adam and Eve myth, right? Purely as cultural knowledge? If you know that, you know Eve is a name on its own.
Tbh, the only Eve I’ve known was my grandmother. It’s admittedly not common for younger people. But you never know when a name is going to come back in style!
@OfficerZ637 fuck off, I'm reporting all your shit for misinformation and spam
Thank you so much Jamie for everything and helping me through my transition journey, I now have gotten top surgery just last week (after 4 years!!) because of your encouragement and reminders that the feeling of being trans is completely normal and I shouldn’t feel terrible
hope you're healing up well! happy for you!!!
Goodjob on your top surgery!! Hope you're feeling better🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
Congrats on top surgery🤩
Congratulations! I'm happy for you.
Congratulations
"You don't need to be a girl, you can be a feminine boy!" *masc/butch trans women*
"You don't need to be a boy, you can be a masculine girl!" *fem trans men (myself incuded :) )*
I love disproving transphobic arguments by simply. * ~ Existing ~ *
Something I had to deal with from my mother and (now ex) stepdad though is 'oh but are you sure you're trans? you like really feminine things'
Can't win sometimes
Funnily though, when I asked 'like what?' they said the fact that I like to draw as an example
I mentioned how the majority of the people who took art in my year were boys and also my stepdad was knows to draw on occaision as well
They responded well it's not the *fact* that you draw, it's more *what* you draw. Boys draw explosions and cars and you draw people
Not only is that the worst thing I've ever heard I was visiby horrified and confused by that, *the* most famous painting, the mona lisa, is that of a person, and the artist was a man
Even things like micheangelo's the creation of adam, that's people too
My mom said that I'm not a boy because I like painting....
She said it because I specifically like painting landscapes. Does Bob Ross not exist?
Ugh, I've been told I'm not actually trans because I still like crocheting and knitting, and I find puppies and babies cute.
I've been told something along similar lines by my mother. Her evidence? "You weren't like that when you were younger." 🙄 I didn't feel like I had a choice if I wanted friends. I'm already an odd enough person, I certainly didn't need more weirdness to my personality.
@@jamiehung4028 yep, my parents "proof" that I'm not trans is that I was "super feminine as a kid". Yeah, this "super feminine" period just so happened to align with when I was mostly wearing hand-me-downs from my super feminine cousins. The fact that I always choose the least feminine option and frequently had meltdowns over my clothing options is apparently irrelevant.
The hoops people jump through to invalidate us are quite funny sometimes. My dad, for example, has some very quiet sexist beliefs. He has a strong belief that being "feminine" (self-defined by him) is inherent to females and that they will naturally gravitate towards nurturing activities like cooking, cleaning and bearing children. He also believes that men are inherently violent and better in combat not because of strength, but because it's in their nature. But the moment I came out as trans, no amount of revulsion on my part to the thought of learning to cook or having children could convince him that my gender was on the masculine side of the spectrum. Suddenly, it didn't matter HOW masculine I was or how strongly I deviated from the "ideal" of womanhood. It couldn't possibly be in my nature to be manly, because I was born female. But even when I only went against nature, in his eyes, I can never be seen as his son.
On another note, I also love disproving transphobic arguments by existing. I'm a trans man who likes men *almost* exclusively. I never identified as a lesbian or had any relationships with women, which disproves the popular TERF argument that trans men are just lost lesbians who don't want to be women because of sexism. Like, I'm gay. I like dudes. How do they explain away my identity??
Luxeria has this bit on “We can always tell” which is brilliant and then I heard it in a conversation so obviously I ran away because I couldn’t stop laughing.
I personally got an "I always suspected" from my brother when I came out as bi. It struck me as more of a superiority know-it-all flex than anything else. I came out at 30 years old, having had quiet crushes for ages, and some very secret experimentation in high school that not even my lesbian bff knew about. So I finally come to terms with those secret crushes being a real, meaningful part of my sexual identity, and my bro goes, "oh yeah, I knew the whole time." Nah, he was full of BS, and just wanted to say that he always knew.
Hmm. My dad does that. Not about important stuff, but when he's watching a quiz show he'll pretend he knew the right answers all along, or if he got one right by a lucky guess he pretends he actually really knew all about it.
My step dad when I came out: "makes sense"
Like he COULD SEE THE SIGNS
and still doesn't gender me right after many years
People just like to blatantly ignore facts
Yeah, the "I always knew/suspected" response is just a way for a cis person stealing a queer person's thunder and making their vulnerable moment all about them. It's not supportive or reassuring at all, and begs the question of, "If you're such an expert on who is and isn't queer, then why didn't you say anything about it or indicate any support for me when I was struggling to accept myself and feel safe enough to live openly?"
It's also like winning a race you trained for months to prepare for, only to see your family in the audience not cheering for you. Then, when you ask them later why they weren't happy for you, they just shrug and say, "We knew you'd win the race." Maybe they did, maybe they didn't, but they could have at least bothered to celebrate with you or pretend to be surprised, supportive, or enthusiastic about it.
Being queer is difficult enough, but coming out is so much more difficult, even terrifying. Everyone who does so deserves to be celebrated, not smugly waved off as if their hardship and triumph over fear is old news.
🟣 : hi I'm Purple!
🔴 : Everyone is either Red or Blue so are you reddish Blue or bluish Red?
🔵 : yeah! You have to pick. Eventually you will have to choose one or the other.
🟣 : but I'm Purple... 😢
🟢 : yeah, Purple is Purple!
🔵 and 🔴 : 😡
But everyone IS red or blue... You don't "have to pick", you simply are.
@@Qq-xs1fzthere is no way you actually just said that
Nah bro I’m yellow fr 🟡
@@pemanilnoob But I did. Why shouldn't I?
because it' dead wrong? Usually being wrong is reason enough for people to not say silly stuff, but I guess you're not like most people 🙃 @@Qq-xs1fz
How difficult is it to understand that if someone has never "taken the time" to put thought into their own gender identity, then they are not likely bothered by any kind of gender identity issues, nor are they likely experiencing any amount of body dysmorphia? That's kind of the inherent definition of being cisgender, is that you identify with the gender you were assined at birth without any problem. It's shocking that people can't understand that.
But at the same time that lays at the root of the problem: the fact that most people tend not to experience the continuous amount of second thoughts about how you feel compared to how you look is what makes it so incredibly difficult for people to understand.
Unfortunately for some people that is then readily abused by making it out to be something that "just suddenly happens".
@Dutch3DMaster apparently the general population of transphobes are at a pathological level of being unable to epathize with anyone about any situation they haven't personally experienced. I mean, I've never been mugged or lost a limb, but I don't need to actually experience that to believe what someone tells me about how traumatic and damaging that is for them. Jeez. The short answer is that they don't want to accept transgender people, so they refuse to accept what they say. The idea of "I don't understand something, so I'm just going to refuse to believe it happens" is just so colossally stupid it is truly mind boggling. I don't understand quantum physics or the actual distances between the planetary orbits in our solar system either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to refuse to believe the people who are educated about those topics.
I don't spend 'free' time thinking about my appearance, I have invasive thoughts that interrupt at any random time!
Right?!
Like I don't take an allotted thirty minutes to sit there and be sad about my tits, I have to deal with that feeling creeping up on me while I'm at work, or trying to spend time with my partner, or trying to sleep. It's super annoying! I don't have time for that shit but it gets in there anyways!
Yes, Mind-boggling can be a way to excuse transphobia, but for an accepting senior citizen it can be quite the learning curve. I watch this channel to learn and understand and have to google something with almost every video i watch.
Thank you so much for putting in the time and effort to learn about LGBTQ+ people. Understanding is a key factor in acceptance. More people should be like you. I appreciate you!
@@kuuderepanda4207 thank you. As a straight, white, Christian, male in America I feel I need to remind myself that the way I see the world and the way the world sees me is not the same for so many.
I love that Jamie is calling out weaponized incompetence by men in mainly cis het relationships! ❤ Men that are feminist ally's are lovely and very much needed ❤ love your content btw.
I hate when a man can't cook and then someone makes excuses
Like seriously no
Learn your basic life skill, you turd
Imo everyone should have basic skills in cooking, sewing, cleaning and sometimes even car knowledge
Basic. Survival. And. Cleanliness. Should. Not. Be. Gendered.
There was a dude who went to the same food bank as me
Didn't even know how to use spices.
(I'm a man that can cook, and most of the time it's just throwing ingredients together that seem or smell compatible)
As a messy protagonist myself, it’s ok to make mistakes. Just not parading your ignorance and lack of curiosity.
Before I even knew I was trans , I would come off as a cis-male without trying , makes me happy , even if at the time I had no idea I would ever turn out to be trans (my mom was really transphobic, and once I was able to get into a non-toxic household , with my grandparents, thats when I found out)
I don’t know if anyone is going to read this, but it’s my birthday tomorrow
Happy early birthday!
Happy early birthday!
Happy early birthday!!
Early birthday happy
Happy Birthday
Rando: "What's that short for?"
Me: It's not short for anything.
Alternatively- "What's your name?" "Charley and no it's not short for anything."
Wait why do people think it's short for something?
I legitimately always thought that was a name by itself XD
@@dragonwolfzero820 Charley is it's own name but it can also be short for other names. Like Charlotte or Charlene. With a girl ppl often don't expect Charley to be it's own name.
There's a nonbinary but femme reading author who had a flight attendant insist on using the longer, femme version of their short, masc-to-unisex name when addressing them--despite the fact that their boarding pass and passport both had the short name listed, and the passenger was correcting her each time.
Bonus: the short name is their birth name.
I got to witness a moment like you are describing just last week. We had a major snowstorm and the neighbours son came over to help us and our other neighbours dig out. (Shared driveway on the side of a mountain, seven feet of snow) The neighbours son is named Bailey.
A couple days later, the neighbours who are not Baileys parents came over and told us that when our other neighbour moved in, they had a daughter. Now they have a son. This was news to them. My dear sweet summer child husband suddenly got all worried because when Bailey left he said “Thanks for all your help man!” He had completely mixed things up and I just kissed his forehead and told him that Bailey probably loved that for himself. (We are not only new to the area but new to the province so we had no reason to assume anything about anyone).
My dear husband used to be a bit of a bigot. I don’t usually subscribe to changing your partner but he needed some lessons on this subject. He has made me so very proud with his progress.
Been struggling a bit with my grandma moving in because I have no idea if it’s even ok to break the ice on me being nonbinary, she knows I’m queer at least, but not exactly in which direction.
But it’s become a struggle of my family using way too many feminine nouns and pronouns to cover it up.
As an old lady myself, I can say that we just want you happy and healthy. My son has an amazing friend who recently came out as nonbinary and even though I slip occasionally and still use their old pronouns, my son and his friend are able to remind me, "they", which is helpful for all of us.
Know your grandmother may not fully get it at first (although she may), and she may slip up sometimes, but if she is someone you want to be around then she wants to know all about you!
Best of luck in everything you do!
That sucks that you are going through that. I hope if you do decide to tell your grandma that she is supportive. And if you don’t that’s ok too because coming out is a personal thing and should be a choice you make not that anyone else makes for you.
@@eliawillinger4329 exactly right!
You can always try to see if she's okay with trans people in general by bringing up the subject some other times in a more subtle way. Maybe just gender non-conformity. I definetely think if it's starting to hurt your mental health you should bring it up.
My grandmas are both cool with it. One is definetely more thinking I'm still a girl who acts like a boy but like uses the right pronouns and stuff and don't make any out of line comments. It's just clear she's a bit confused. So it's whatever honestly.
And the other one generally gets it but she was always a bit more progressive.
Still, it's definetely a new concept for them but they can see it makes me happier and that it kinda make sense with how I've always been. So that spoke volume.
It's worth to note I am an adult, who came out as an adult. I do think that contributes a lot. I don't know if I would have had that respect if I came out younger.
Someone "do you have any regrets about being non-binary"
Me "Yes, not coming out sooner!"
The bow on the baby thing? My mom did the same shit with me! She stuck a bow on my bald head with Scotch tape (or sellotape in British) because of all the people who called me “an adorable little boy!”. Spoiler alert: I grew up to be transmasc non-binary. 😂😂😂
Let's normalize randomly colored bows in an attempt to guess the baby's potential favorite color
Seems more healthy to me
They knew! :0
I was a bit biphobic before I realized I was ✨️not straight✨️
I'm embarrassed. I kissed a girl when i was nine, but I didn't even start realizing I liked girls until i was fifteen. I still question it now, when I'm thirty and dating a woman. The internalized homophobia runs deep!
My sister didn't do the "I'd always suspected", but before I came out we were talking about resumes, and she asked if I put she/they on mine. I autopilotes said yes, and that was how I came out to her as genderfluid!
Jamie, I'm cishet and learned so much from you. Hope you keep it up because you're doing great!
Thus far i have ran into one cis person who i actually believed when they said they already knew, and i believe him because he actively listens, is knowledgeable about the community, and led with "im glad you reached the point of feeling comfortable to come out" and only later mentioned that he had picked up on the signs.
19:03 I literally have an INTACT male shepherd dog, and made him a baby blue collar with a tiny pink name tag (cause if I can add any pink anywhere, I will), which still was enough to be told “He’s a dude, why is there pink in his collar? There shouldn’t be pink in his collar”.
Exactly. Also: he's a dog. He can only perceive green, yellow and blue, if he can perceive any colors at all.
7:26 when i went to England, I told everyone i met that my name was Cat, and they constantly would ask me what its short for and I just kept saying to just call me Cat.
I just dont want to explain the fact that my White Society name is not the same as my Native name and that I sort of chose this version of my white society name.
Self improvement is a journey, not a destination.
Cis woman here, trying to learn how to better compliment trans people without it sounding backhanded. Thanks for the insight! I've definitely said a few of these, and now I feel bad for my past ignorance.
I had a used to be friend who always had backhanded comments that were actually harmful, I doubt anything you've said is as bad as this one women treated men of all kinds
She'd always set aside gay and Trans men from men overall, especially when it came to Trans men bc "they understand" that's bs lmao (I can tell you as a Trans man myself--I have never once understood, I was too dissociated to. I watch mama doctor Jones to educate myself about women)
Back to the used to be friend
She would take every opportunity to remind a Trans person about their gender assigned at birth and their forcefully assigned parts they're uncomfortable with. Very uncomfy person to talk to.
She also hated men to an uncomfy degree and always had a "women superior, let's just insult all men bc they're all evil, except this group were going to set aside and call "guys" "
Since you're trying to improve, I forgive you!
Thanks for putting in effort to learn about the community! You seem to genuinely care and want to be better, which is more than most can say. I applaud you!
9:28 "gentle persuasion and gentle trying to make you feel uncomfortable"
my dad tried to do this. I'm a trans man and also ace and I was trying to explain that to him and he goes. "well men are horny" like trying to say I can't be a man and ace. and I shut him down like "no I'm plenty horny I just don't want other people to touch me" 😂 that shut him up pretty fast lol
10/10 response. I’m not ace, but don't particularly feel comfortable with the idea of sex. So, gonna use this one!
I'm on the ace spectrum so I totally get that
The initial onset of T made me question my asexuality just due to the initial onset of euphoria and hormones but my brain eventually came back around (Grey ace here btw)
Nothing about my aceness changed
The only thing that changed was my comfort level with my body
10:17 That’s the great thing about it!
You don’t have to think, it’s just natural to who you are!
💅🏿💃🏿
10:40 I know this is very American of me, but "he's a lad's lad" is one of the most british things I've ever heard lol
I consider myself to be a "girl's girl" which to me means I support my fellow girls. I see fellow girls as friends, not competition.
I'm Cis het and I have said some of these things 😨 I didn't realize how they sounded. Thank you, Jamie, for breaking down why some of these seemingly innocuous phrases actually can and are harmful. Thanks for being so kind about it as well!
1:04 Do some voice and breathing exercises before shooting. ‘Red Leather Yellow Leather’ and ‘A Box of Biscuits, A Bag of Biscuits, A Biscuit Mixer’ are my favourite.
A woman's woman is a great compliment; in the best circles, transwomen are accepted as a woman's woman or girl's girl too. It basically means that you stan/rock with women, genuinely support women of all kinds/walks of life, build community with women, and this usually implies she is also a feminist.
My dad always talked about how women are inherently feminine in many ways and are hardwired for nurturing and delicate stuff and all that bullshit, and how men are inherently violent and bold and stuff. Then I was outed as trans, and all of a sudden I was allowed to be the most masculine "woman" in the whole world as long as it meant I wouldn't be trans. The switch up is crazy :D
I've had people asking since I came out as trans and started my transition. I don't mind genuine, honest curiosity because let's be real here, it's kinda odd. It's natural to have questions and i think it's better to actually ask a person who is trans than google around and potentially fall into a terf/fart hole.
At the same time... ay yai. It's like watching a toddler learn to walk. They're trying so hard and they keep tripping and stumbling and you just wanna say "bless your heart".
It's not discriminatory, it's just insensitive.
Well, and I think people need to realize that it's a a line of questioning that falls firmly into the Personal Questions category. Like, sure if you are friends with someone and have an established rapport and the topic naturally comes up, they may be fine with you asking a sincere question. But it's totally different to do it to a random stranger, or totally out of the blue, or ask like you're trying to find out something shocking rather than honestly trying to better understand other people's lives.
When I first met a friend of mine in university when a bunch of us were standing around talking. I didn't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation to ask their name. Someone eventually said it, and I was a little surprised that who I had thought was a guy was actually a girl. Fast forward to just a few years ago and it turns out I was right. Honestly the biggest adjustment was remembering his chosen name.
Me slowly realizing I have *110%* been a Well Meaning Cis/Het...
Well, you live and you learn I guess!
HELL YEAHHHH!! I forgive you!!!! Thanks for being willing to change!!
@@RadioactiveBluePlatypus Thank you! I've always tried to be an ally, but I've only recently realized how much I actually don't know about the LGBTQIAA community. Channels like this one are a great learning tool as well as being very entertaining😁
I have always see Pride as in "I refuse to feel shame for who I am." It was a pushback from abuse at Stonewall, a "We're not going to take it anymore."
Regarding comments on how "passable" one is, I sometimes have self judgement when I note that in my thoughts because that sentiment has that flip side of invalidating people who aren't able to "pass." A part of my brain wants to compliment, but I stop because of that flip-side.
Oh my god. My (very transphobic) mom did the bow thing when I was a baby too. But no matter how many frills and bows and pink she put me in, everyone still assumed I was a boy first. Thank you random strangers for validating my gender like 10yrs early
The one that always hits me the hardest is "why can't you just accept yourself how you are?"
It's like, why can't YOU just accept ME for who I am, Karen?! FUCK!
It's like " I have accepted myself as I am, just not how I look and how other people react to my flesh prison and its decor" 😂
i am currently cuddling my BLÅHAJ and he is very cuddly
Same, except my Haj is a she xxx
6am in Melbourne Australia on Monday & I've got a sick dog who's also injured & on pain meds and just threw up on my bed at 5am.
Happy Monday to me.
Need a good video with my coffee.
So thanks for uploading, Jaime. So I can escape this for a little bit. ❤❤
Mondays, am I right?
(But seriously I hope your dog is ok. They are amazing animals and a beloved part of the family, give the good pupper a biiiig hug)
@PansyPops thank you. He injured himself and we're in to week 3. He's almost 14yo and hurt his neck and leg - we don't know how.
He's on super strong pain meds. 2 different kinds 3 x per day.
But 1 of them can make them sick. But it's taken over 2 weeks for him to actually get sick. I think it was what I fed him last night.
But rushing to strip my bed at 5am when I'm half asleep & rinsing it all in the laundry and waiting to fit it all in the washing machine. Ugh.
I feel awful for him.
He was sick again outside half an hour later. So, I keeping him outside as he can't settle and lie down inside and keeps getting up and looking like he's gonna be sick. Sigh.
It's a wet morning here in Australia but he'll just have to stay under the pergola and get it out of his system.
Thank you for the well wishes. And yes, fking Mondays.
I've had such a stressful few months, especially last few weeks and last Monday I dropped a whole cup of milky coffee with syrup in it on the carpet and then later that day, smashed glass and salt all over the kitchen floor.
I *need* a break 🙄☹️
I will give him a gentle hug from yourself & thank you for letting me rant/vent. ❤️❤️
Hope your doggie feels better soon. Greetings from Edinburgh Scotland.
@@annarichter484 thank u
Hope your doggo feels better (and hello also from Melbourne )
I'm so exhausted with the "can't you just be a feminine man / masculine woman" as if people who express in a way that is outside the "traditional white Western binary" aren't also constantly belittled and scrutinized at every opportunity. And that's not even getting into the point Jamie makes that for trans folks, it isn't just a case of "being a different type of man/woman."
Those same people then _attack "feminine" men and "masculine"women_ for not behaving in the way that society mandates that a person with their genitals behave.
Cishet people telling gay Trans men to "just be a butch lesbian"
Like uhhhh yall be missing the point XD
Multiple points
Yep, I was picked on, accused of betraying women, accused of hating women, accused of being a danger to women, offered to be r*ped to "fix it, called unrepeatable things all because I wasn't feminine. Oh and I had all of these happen by the ripe old age of 12 while wearing exclusively clothes from the girls department (I was not allowed in the boys department) and I didn't even know what being trans was, let alone that I was. Being a masculine woman (though I wasn't) might be more acceptable than being a feminine man, but neither are accepted particularly well.
This. Especially with the current political climate.
Case in point, I'm a cis woman with an infant, living in Australia. Here we have 'parenting rooms' these are room for parents (non gender specific) to care for their young children (feeding/ nappies(diapers)/toilet training). But for some reason many women view it as a 'mother's and babies' room. I've been accosted three times going into one of these rooms in the past 5.5 months since my daughter was born, and had the security called once. All because I apparently look a bit too masculine to be a breastfeeding mother.😅
@@SassyGirl822006Yep. Like I said, these people wanna police _everyone's_ appearance.
When it comes to collar colors and pets, i always chose the color i thought either matched their personality, or if it looks good with their fur color.
For example! My cats (sisters) colors are definitely pink and purple. Its something ive always been confident with, even though theyre inside cats with no collars.
Why do people care about the sex of their dog to chose their color? You could be missing the PERFECT color!!
When I used to get collars for my cat I always got him blue because he's a calm personality
on my dorm room door i've written "new year, same me"
Jamie, could you make a tier-ranking video of ways to respond to someone coming out? Give us cishets who don’t know many trans people a few hints what we can say that will express support and acceptance.
6:11 Whoever curated the stock photos, you’re doing the Lord’s work.
I see that most of the stock photos still have their watermarks, and the photographer won't have been paid. Nor credited.
I always think the whole "why do you have to be proud of it?" argument is so funny cause there are literally huge parties being thrown just for a baby being a boy/girl as well as parties about "a girl becoming a woman" or "a boy becoming a man" with the whole family being proud, yet when we are proud, it's weird.
20:05 This was a problem for my parents when sister was a baby (30+ years ago). She had very little hair and my mom's favorite color is blue, so she was dressed in blue a lot. Also, for anyone not listening carefully, her name can sound quite similar to a traditionally masculine name. They just corrected them and moved on.
"Sop turgery" does sound like something to regret/avoid 🤣😂🤣
Also sounds like something I would say 😂
It's possible that "what's that short for?" may be a way for people to ask about someone's gender without actually asking, as in the case of someone having a short form gender neutral name like Alex, and trying to figure out if the person is an Alexander or an Alexandria. These days It's become polite to ask what someone's pronouns are, but 30 years ago, it would have been considered hella rude if you were introduced to someone of ambiguous gender presentation to ask "are you a man or a woman?" I mean, the latter question would still be rude today, but when I was young, the knowledge and understanding of different gender expressions, or even the existence of NB, was obscure enough that we really didn't know wh!at words to use to ask without being rude, so we didn't ask. There may still be a lot of people who are stuck in that "It's rude to ask" attitude and their confusion and embarrassment might turn them a little more transpobic they what they would have been if they weren't stuck in the social norms they were brought up with.
That's exactly how I interpreted it! The second I read it I could FEEL the person saying it trying to sneakily ask "like the boy name or the girl name though?" lol
Only cats I’ll assume the genders of are calicos and orange tabbies, but that’s because statistically most calicos are girls and a large chunk of orange cats are boys.
It was very funny when we rescued my cat I immediately started calling her a girl (since she’s a calico) and my spouse was like. She has girl energy, but we don’t really know for sure. And I had to be like. Babe. Like 99.9% of calicos are girls.
I just wanted to say thanks for helping me realize me being trans! One topic and the click sent me on a journey with my gender, and you were the one who helped me fully realize what I am! I am on three days of progesterone and just starting my medical transition, and in the future years, I will start testosterone! Thank you so much for being a positive force in my life, and helping me discover myself❤
The worst tantrum I've ever personally seen over pronouns was directed at me. Because apparently I misgendered their kids plushie cactus...that I didn't gender. In their screaming rant they called me "a pronoun people". This was in a store and management literally came running, and they immediately flipped on the waterworks accusing me of harming their child, like physically inappropriately harming their child. Security showed up a few seconds later and immediately assumed me to be the threat. Thankfully the manager actually asked my side of the story, which took awhile because every time I opened my mouth, not started talking, just opened my mouth, Karen would start screeching I was dangerous. Thankfully there were witnesses who confirmed all I did was say "I like your cactus" and that I'd never gotten anywhere near the child. They declined to watch the camera footage (what a surprise) and were shocked when they were the one kicked out, screaming the whole way.
The saddest bit for me was the kids reaction. Because it wasn't the first, second or hundredth time I've been accused of harming kids, and nowhere near the worst accusation. The kid just stood there playing with the cactus completely immune to the screeching (they weren't deaf because they had responded to my original comment).
That poor kid is just desensitized to their parents nonsense.
Still tho that is an insane overreaction.
I think the biggest overreact Insaw over pronouns was the guy who got mad about pronouns in startfield (that's a hilarious video btw, I think Jamie reacted to it a while ago)
@@dragonwolfzero820 yep, like I was desensitized to a lot growing up, but at least my parents didn't scream bloody murder on the regular, well at least not in public. I saw a guy in a doctor's office flipping out about the nickname field on the form because "anyone who doesn't go by their real name is mentally [sick]*" until whoever was with him pointed out he went by a nickname and he immediately shut up. Like yes dude, Mike is a nickname (no, I don't remember the name, just picking one at random), this field isn't even for trans people, it's for everyone because a lot of people go by variations on their names. Amanda Jane goes by AJ, Samantha goes by Sam, Tyler David goes by David because he likes it....
*[ ] Slur replacement
What XD
in my last year of school, i began coming out towards the end of the year, and i talked to the school welfare officer about it (she was a lesbian!) she said stuff along the lines of "i'm really excited for your journey!" and personally i was quite happy with it, because it was supportive
I just thought of something, what if a parent and their child came out to each other at the same time
Son : Mom, I'm trans
Mom : Hi trans, I'm dad
Now Daughter : ....
Now Father : ha
7:45 This immediately made me think of the people who act like if a boy does "girl" things like wear dresses or plays with like a fake kitchen set it's going to "make them gay or trans" & the same if a girl does "boy" things when in reality that's not how gender identity or sexuality works & even if it did who cares. People like this will scream about just letting kids be kids but then act like if kids aren't conforming to gender stereotypes, then they need to be forced into them instead of just actually letting kids dress how they like & play with toys they like. It's one thing if a child had a preference for one thing over another, but it's a completely different thing to force them into that preference simply because of their presumed gender
I joke about trans magnitism, my whole friend group has been figuring out we all aint cis 1 after the other
I hope you don't get any accusations of ROGD.
@@SimonClarkstone ah those idiots arent worth listning to
8:55 I wish that was true when I was in school. The gender binary is so weirdly intense like what are we achieving here? Trauma?
I work at Walmart and I had a customer come through my line once and saw my nametag said "Nick" alongside all my gay pins
And he did the biggest eyebrow raise and was like "What's that short for? Is your name Nicole?" and I'm like "no I'm just Nick" and he's like fckin "natalie?" or some shit
LIKE NO DUDE I GET IT YOU CLOCKED ME AND WANNA MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE BUT MY NAME IS JUST MY NAME
I bought Jamie's audiobook and its fantastic. He and Shaba did an amazing job.
I've commented something similar before. I witnessed a well meaning christian guy give a backhanded compliment at a lgbtq+ event, towards someone who 100% reminds me of Jamie, at a church I sometimes used to go to. Of course a trans man is going to look like a good looking man, that's literally the point, you are what you have always known yourself to be. Was he expecting the guy to glow purple?
Assuming friends makes me think of college, this girl and I kept hearing about each other through mutual friends that we'd like each other because I knit and she crocheted. They ended up being right about us becoming good friends, but turned out we have a lot more in common than yarn.
Hey you beautiful people. A user OfficerZ637 (took the @ off their user name so they aren't notified) is spamming the comments section with a "breaking news" hideous hateful comment about our Jamie.
I'm reporting all I see... and encourage you to do so, instead of entering into conversation.
Love and light to all of the LGBTQIA+ folks here and the allies and advocates too!
❤❤❤❤
Boost
Boost
Boost
For example I'm proud of being my authentic autistic self. We face so much criticism on the daily for being ourselves. And the point people don't get why we could be proud it's because we can't change who we are. Same as anyone part of the lgbtq+ community. We can't change and we are forced to deal with the hardships for many times on our own. We're proud that we made it to another day without hurting ourselves or others. Or that others didn't try to make our lives impossible. It's not the same as being banned but some of the burocracy across the world is incredibly shitty towards people with autsim. I didn't mean to make this comment about myself but further proof that you can be proud of simply belonging and not being killed for being who you are.
Lol you totally get the same thing in the disability community where people think you'll instantly love someone with the same disability as you. At least, that's been my experience as a blind woman. :) It's histarical! Jamie, you rock! :) I do hope I've spelled your name correctly!
I've had my Mother say stuff like _"Can't you just be a Feminine Man?"_ no... Because I'm not a Feminine man, I'm Trans, I'm a Trans Lesbian {Unable to Transition due to my Situation...}
The "I wish I had as much free time" is definitely not well intended. Very common bitchy, passive aggressive, green around the gills with envy Karen comment. "Look at me, being so busy doing all these important things while you lazy/entitled/irresponsible/whatever person waste your time doing something I would love to do but I don't" is the translation.
"At some point you have to pick!" - I picked ALL OF THE GENDERS and might as well pick all the sexualities, too.
The straights scare me...
@science_bear fr💀
16:17 I think we subconciously surrounded ourselves with likeminded people and people with similar experiences/identities. This is coming from a trans, demisexual/romantic, autistic boy. ALL of my closest friends are autistic, I didn't befriend them because they were autistic, but they happened to be. One of those friends is also trans, one if them is gender queer/unlabeled, ALL of them are queer/lgbtq in some way... It just happens to work out in that way, and I see it happen a lot. 🤷 I think its a subconcious thing.