WHY HE ACTS RIGHT AFTER YOU’VE CHECKED OUT!

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  • Опубликовано: 26 дек 2024

Комментарии • 469

  • @dragonfly8184
    @dragonfly8184 2 года назад +533

    This is scary but accurate. Dealing with this situation. Talking, reminding, and repeating is no longer working. I'm out. I'd rather be completely alone then to deal with another person who can't get it.

  • @dawnfleetwood6051
    @dawnfleetwood6051 2 года назад +288

    This is my entire story. He didn't know what he had until I checked out fully.

  • @madameluisa9266
    @madameluisa9266 2 года назад +319

    Im glad I got out. Been 9 days. My stomach is in knots but I did it 9 years of pure hell. God is with me I will be ok. Thanks for your video God bless 🙏❤️

    • @Godisfirst21
      @Godisfirst21 2 года назад +12

      A new chapter for you! How exciting. I did it and it was so WORTH IT!

    • @sharonsmith6022
      @sharonsmith6022 2 года назад +7

      Madame Luisa..Best of Luck, Good for you. "LIVING YA LIFE LIKE IT'S GOLDEN"...JUST LIKE THE SONG SAYS..YEAH GIRL!

    • @GalaxyisAmazing
      @GalaxyisAmazing 2 года назад +8

      how do you build the courage im almost 10 years in

    • @madameluisa9266
      @madameluisa9266 2 года назад +4

      @@Godisfirst21 SO excited thank you!!

    • @madameluisa9266
      @madameluisa9266 2 года назад +4

      @@sharonsmith6022 yas queen!! 🙏🏽❤️

  • @MZ-jo9ru
    @MZ-jo9ru 2 года назад +204

    I relate! Absolutely MEN would not FORGIVE A WOMAN ON THE THINGS THEY HAVE DONE

    • @kelleykuelker2018
      @kelleykuelker2018 2 года назад +6

      THAT DOESN'T GO FOR ALL MEN CAUSE MY SON TRIED WHOLE HEARTEDLY.

  • @Tay.rarebreed
    @Tay.rarebreed 2 года назад +247

    I really felt this because I'm a real one. And I know my ex is suffering severely, I will never look back. U snooze you lose while dealing with me. Everything you're saying is 100% accurate.

    • @cadaverousvixen6677
      @cadaverousvixen6677 2 года назад +16

      Same sister same. What they take for granted will follow them for a very long time.

    • @primescapeproductions7594
      @primescapeproductions7594 2 года назад +4

      💯

    • @raqueledwards6061
      @raqueledwards6061 Год назад +3

      💯 shout out to all the queens and the Baddies and the goddess is out there beautiful in every way I'm kind of going through a situation right now with my boyfriend / ex-boyfriend it's hard cuz I'm still in love with him

  • @moonmaiden4197
    @moonmaiden4197 2 года назад +135

    📢 HE IS DEFECTIVE 📢 that’s all you *really* need to hear.

  • @OrchidTingz
    @OrchidTingz Год назад +116

    No matter what Derrick's flaws, and indiscretions were & are You cannot deny the value and wisdom that He consistently contributes and shares with us 💎🙏 I deeply appreciate him for that!💯

    • @ladyofthecreek279
      @ladyofthecreek279 Год назад +2

      True

    • @bryanaustin5275
      @bryanaustin5275 Год назад +5

      So you might as well put R Kelly’s flaws aside and let him help young girls make music since he’s the most musically talented artist of our generation

    • @freddiestranger9783
      @freddiestranger9783 Год назад +3

      WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HIS FLAWS AND INDISCRETIONS????

    • @freddiestranger9783
      @freddiestranger9783 Год назад +6

      FORGET THE MAN'S FLAWS AND LISTEN TO HIS WORDS FOR GOODNESS SAKE

    • @freddiestranger9783
      @freddiestranger9783 Год назад +3

      GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST

  • @b-loved7777
    @b-loved7777 Год назад +73

    That’s me , I literally can never open the door again and even if I want to . I will never see my ex the same again. I warned him this is how I am but he didn’t listen. 💜

  • @Flower-v8w
    @Flower-v8w Год назад +24

    My heart is closed bolted, now locked. I will stay alone. No more jerk breaking my heart

  • @jocelyngouchenour
    @jocelyngouchenour 2 года назад +84

    To make this short and not lengthy my long term relationship of 5 years is very inconsistent. What is always consistent is how emotionally burned I get and lonely. I am finally checked out. Thank you so much for your insights.

  • @Nopenottoday2480
    @Nopenottoday2480 Год назад +23

    Everything you talked in this video it's very true! Males have to start to look at themselves in the mirror ,get rid off those big egos , and do work on themselves, and healing! We ladies are not therapists,and punching bags. We also deal with ourselves, kids,work ,home ,our bodies....

  • @debbie8016
    @debbie8016 2 года назад +47

    Im one of those women that will not open up agin. Done with the games.

  • @MeoArts22
    @MeoArts22 2 года назад +74

    I’m at that breaking point right now… I don’t want to abandon him like his family did but he hasn’t healed yet and the instability of his issues is wearing me down. And you’re right, I need to stop raising him😢

    • @virginiatorres2265
      @virginiatorres2265 Год назад +5

      100% relatable, I'm not his savior and I was just enabling him sticking around

    • @Thegoodlife4me
      @Thegoodlife4me Год назад +8

      Leave. Give that energy to yourself. You don’t owe him ANYTHING! The one that’s for you is waiting-Act now.

    • @syreetamcfall9580
      @syreetamcfall9580 Год назад +4

      Just to let u know I'm there now...glad to know it's not just me with a great heart.😘😘🥰🥰

    • @felitalewis124
      @felitalewis124 Год назад

      ​@@syreetamcfall9580your not, I just let go, and loving my peace

    • @felitalewis124
      @felitalewis124 Год назад +2

      ​@@Thegoodlife4meAmen

  • @alieshahill8937
    @alieshahill8937 2 года назад +70

    All of this is so true. I lived it and when I was done, I was done. I divorced him and have been immensely blessed with my husband now.

    • @dorothymatthews6690
      @dorothymatthews6690 Год назад +3

      May God bless you and your new husband. I went through the same and believing God for a good husband.

    • @alieshahill8937
      @alieshahill8937 Год назад +1

      @@dorothymatthews6690 Thank you so much! I'm praying God will send you a new, good husband.

    • @beverleyboateng566
      @beverleyboateng566 10 месяцев назад

      There are too many players out there, we need real men out there!!! Stop the kindergarten behavior…

  • @lindasworld4083
    @lindasworld4083 2 года назад +23

    I rather be alone than to be in relationship with only drama ..

  • @antoinettemcdonald4265
    @antoinettemcdonald4265 2 года назад +86

    Real talk! I’m like that I don’t have a multiple chance mindset Once I’m really done I’m done

    • @tedtenorio1790
      @tedtenorio1790 2 года назад

      Mind reader okay d I am a mind reader that's how I read That's how I know that April Mendoza can't eat no f****** peaches because she breaks out mother f***** okay she's allergic to peaches

    • @Scorpio12348
      @Scorpio12348 2 года назад +4

      Yes

    • @mywords07
      @mywords07 2 года назад +3

      💯Thank you! And don't get my attention through other people! I'm moving on!🤗

  • @Celestia1111ove
    @Celestia1111ove 2 года назад +44

    I am married to one of the “evolved men”…. Thank God for him daily…. had my share of little boys in the past…. You’re speaking 💯 facts.

    • @JohnnieK40
      @JohnnieK40 2 года назад +4

      I am happy for you 😊

    • @annastaciakiama8662
      @annastaciakiama8662 Год назад

      I embrace but sometimes I feel bad when I get a cold shoulder, but easy to forget and forgive. I love ❤️ my hubby ❤️ hundred 💯. I don't hold grange at all. Thanks 🙏 😊 🙌

    • @DivinevirgoFeminine
      @DivinevirgoFeminine Год назад +1

      How did you end up here on this post if that’s true?

  • @tubegen11
    @tubegen11 Год назад +33

    “When you fumble a good woman you feel it for the rest of your life”

  • @Ms.CBell2024
    @Ms.CBell2024 2 года назад +47

    You so right i open back up he wanted to rekindle and he still trying to hold on to a woman that's moved on bit wanna see me. But givin her a choice to take him or he gonna move on i just had to text him and tell him i hope we both find someone who will value our hearts. Even after we agree to rekindle he still was inconsistent no calls no communication so i wasn't gonna hold myself back i gotta protect my heart period

  • @amoritas23
    @amoritas23 2 года назад +74

    This literally happened last night…divine timing af. Needed to hear this thank you.

  • @yolandarainer1222
    @yolandarainer1222 2 года назад +15

    it will not be the same NEVER.. how do you bounce back from the pain at my lowest point you dragged me through!!!! I don't even see how God can fix it

    • @ninath13
      @ninath13 2 года назад +3

      God will fix see them for who they really are. If you are a good person and treated someone good He will protect your gear and heal you

  • @Scorpio12348
    @Scorpio12348 2 года назад +31

    Once I’m done I’m done ✅

  • @lisag5046
    @lisag5046 2 года назад +41

    This is completely on point!! Very unfortunately my ex is loosing his mind and life because of our divorce and that I’ve moved on. No matter how I attempt to help point him in the direction of healing, it just gets worse.

  • @jlady1595
    @jlady1595 Год назад +1

    Yep!!! He would never be ok with me doing the things he has. We are no longer together

  • @joymboya3867
    @joymboya3867 2 года назад +45

    1. He's manipulative/ he's gaslighting you
    2. There's no proper communication on the urgency of what you needed
    3. He's an abandonment

  • @BelovedRebekkah
    @BelovedRebekkah 2 года назад +14

    Yes even though they try I just don’t see them the same I become so angry it’s best if we don’t try again

  • @lneal2800
    @lneal2800 2 года назад +48

    Definitely speaking facts💯 have been done wrong so many times by one person but he would never be able to handle it if I did the same to him

    • @Katarina23
      @Katarina23 2 года назад +4

      He will continue as long as you allow it. You need to move on from toxic ppl

  • @ahoudwatkins
    @ahoudwatkins 2 года назад +24

    Yes , forgiveness is for oneself and not for the person that did you wrong...it helps you heal yourself and not carry the karmic tie of animosity...forgive and let go....women that have integrity, morals and values and know her self worth doesn't need validation from anyone except herself...and thats the reason she will walk away and not look back...

    • @iwantcrystals
      @iwantcrystals Год назад

      I just talked to a friend about Forgiveness vs. Forgetting. Society always pushes forgiveness for the person who committed the offense and never for the person they offended. As if it's bad for us to feel all the feels that come with things like betrayal or other wrong doings. But I think that forgiveness, just like respect, should be earned. Cause what if the offender is a repeat offender?? So yeah, I feel like forgiving ourselves is much more beneficial to us in the healing process than to just be forced to forgive another person. People say forgive but don't forget but, I would much rather forget a person.

  • @sandragalloway5601
    @sandragalloway5601 2 года назад +13

    So true.... you can never really go back.

  • @katrinawhitaker7442
    @katrinawhitaker7442 2 года назад +11

    You are so wise. Thank you for sharing a man's perspective. Totally respected.

  • @jennifersherrill-ls3bq
    @jennifersherrill-ls3bq Год назад +4

    I forgave my x but it still didn't matter he liked his younger women so I divorced him,and now I'm comfortable in my own skin and I'm working on the talents that God has given me.

  • @ysmith19
    @ysmith19 Год назад +5

    Are you looking in my windows? This is so so so on point!

  • @shanda01114
    @shanda01114 2 года назад +33

    I haven’t been to this page since all of the drama but this video appeared on my timeline. This was definitely on point.
    I can say you are truly gifted in this field of relationships.

  • @nataliemullings5320
    @nataliemullings5320 2 года назад +14

    It’s funny how men get traumatized by when the father leaves or if they only have a mother that raised them. And their sisters just go on with their life, like nothing never happened. Weak men, only weak men. It doesn’t matter if it was the mother that left or father, all I see and hear is weakness. Only weak, problematic men. They use this as a crutch, sometimes for life. You know what I say, cast those small fish right back into the ocean of life, and let the sharks deal with them.we can’t chase them but the sharks will.

  • @dynastynetflixtrends
    @dynastynetflixtrends Год назад +18

    This is 1000000 % accurate. He has child trauma that is why he is transferring it to me all his anxieties and etc.

  • @talktosteph7636
    @talktosteph7636 2 года назад +17

    You spoke directly from the heart ❤️. Every words is detailed. Many Thanks

  • @girlpower5496
    @girlpower5496 Год назад +5

    You make a lot sense ❤ I learn so much by watching your videos and I also get confirmations on some of the things I did in the or how I handled them! Thank you for sharing Knowledge 👍🏼😘

  • @ebonyhill8266
    @ebonyhill8266 Год назад +1

    This is literally the REALEST video I've ever seen 💯

  • @deanaderrick3474
    @deanaderrick3474 21 день назад

    You just telling my story, and don't need tarot cards to do it! So amazing.

  • @ajcraft-hello
    @ajcraft-hello Год назад +1

    “…aren’t just bad forgivers of other people. Men also struggle, generally speaking, at forgiving themselves…”

  • @carolynhadland5239
    @carolynhadland5239 Год назад +12

    I’m so grateful I found Derreck because he makes more sense that applies to my situation and this episode is spot-on

  • @jadasara1
    @jadasara1 Год назад +5

    This is so true. What you're saying is describing me. I am just like this. I can see you, I can laugh with you but I can walk away and I don't feel bad about it.

  • @AN-wx8jn
    @AN-wx8jn 2 года назад +12

    Relatable. Only if men worked on becoming self aware earlier in life. So they don’t go on to have kids and repeat the cycle. It’s the innocent children who bear the most pain of separation.

    • @thedivinefeminine1821
      @thedivinefeminine1821 Год назад +1

      Yeah maybe they could teach that in school instead of the goofy useless sh*T they teach these days...

  • @jamilagodi7606
    @jamilagodi7606 Год назад +1

    Omg, I have been sharing your videos with my friends and my sisters and sisters in-law. You are sooooo right. Thank you

  • @mermaidmonroe1947
    @mermaidmonroe1947 2 года назад +7

    Very true. I don’t see him the same.

  • @sallychow1252
    @sallychow1252 Год назад +11

    Im done done enough is enough I’m tired be used and I make mistakes in my life I learned my lesson and I’m not perfect I don’t need nobody I have god in my life 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏✝️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @joansturrup9146
    @joansturrup9146 2 года назад +11

    Ysssssss! you are soooooooo correct! I have experience in our relationship he didn't want to loose a decent woman when I cut him off or checked out...but he got it right even still now!

  • @lauraquigley9332
    @lauraquigley9332 Год назад +3

    Yes your right when a woman seems to be leaving him and then that's when he acts right.

  • @msrawynn
    @msrawynn Год назад +4

    I 🙋🏾‍♀️…Going thru this at the moment but I’m out…and NOT turning back. Ten years of my life I’m reclaiming. ❤

  • @elyabogins5587
    @elyabogins5587 2 года назад +7

    I feel like the way you say things to us women on behalf of a males thinking is beautiful and greatly appreciate.
    Thank you sir

  • @emlinc229
    @emlinc229 Год назад +3

    This is 100% accurate.

  • @cleopatrawilliam5758
    @cleopatrawilliam5758 Год назад +7

    I forgive but I do not forget.

  • @allysonbacon6855
    @allysonbacon6855 Год назад +2

    This is so much talking to me about my marriage in several ways. We have been separated for two years now and I am now ready to file for divorce. I can no longer be or do anything for this marriage.

  • @redbonz1965
    @redbonz1965 Год назад +1

    Because of myself worth and I know I have given my all and he misused it, I never open that door again. One ex stacked me for 2 yrs, and he was the one messing around.

  • @iemevrywoman1358
    @iemevrywoman1358 2 года назад +23

    I approve of this message 👌🏿 👍🏾 👏🏾 😊

  • @leahc8347
    @leahc8347 2 года назад +12

    Will he ever realise I was a real one 🥺
    I don't feel I can love him or anyone the same now

  • @U.B.T.
    @U.B.T. Год назад +1

    I've been so trusting that I don't monitor or question my man's every move. He's free to come and go as he pleases. But, in time (after being so comfy with flying freely) he'd let his guard down, take me for granted, break my heart (which is allowed only once), then ends up living a lifetime wallowing in regrets... You'd think he'd have leaned from the mistakes of other men/homies.

  • @sabrinaherrin6416
    @sabrinaherrin6416 9 месяцев назад

    THIS IS SO TRUE I'M A LIVING WITNESS OF THIS MESSAGE DERRICK

  • @tredd9019
    @tredd9019 Год назад

    You nailed it (Love Bombing). For a year, he on and off love bombed me, every time I got fed-up. And I fell for it too.

  • @claudiacampbell
    @claudiacampbell 2 года назад +45

    My ex didn't even try to fight for me when I checked out I don't know what I was even expecting he didn't fight (not physically) for the relationship during the relationship

    • @a.d.b535
      @a.d.b535 Год назад +9

      Same here. Wondering if my BF puts in so little to cause me to leave because he's too lazy to do itself and can claim I left him and not vice versa

    • @redefinedliving5974
      @redefinedliving5974 Год назад +1

      Same. Thats actually a blessing

  • @jayholy6707
    @jayholy6707 Год назад +5

    Been saying this for almost 10 years
    No change so ima have to change how I react and move on ❤❤❤

  • @osinachiblessing6272
    @osinachiblessing6272 2 года назад +3

    Derrick, You're certainly speaking the fact....

  • @justjen2591
    @justjen2591 Год назад +17

    I, I can relate to this. I have forgiven him so many times. I left him after 8 1/2 of complete torture. I am free with the help of God the Father.

  • @lorrainephillips1947
    @lorrainephillips1947 Год назад +1

    Thank you for sharing this video well said after listening to this I see I don’t need to go back I’m continuing to move forward

  • @lc2014
    @lc2014 2 года назад +11

    I’m so proud of you Derrick keep on going love you ❤️

  • @maricruzantonio8508
    @maricruzantonio8508 Год назад +2

    Blessed is she that is Married with ya 👑🦁 Kingdom Minded 👣🐾🐾

  • @imspecial2286
    @imspecial2286 2 года назад +6

    Way to go! Derrick you're speaking the truth.

  • @livelearnlove9086
    @livelearnlove9086 2 года назад +3

    They still gonna be hurting you. It happened to me and still happening to me. Had to block him out of my life.

  • @sheenacarol265
    @sheenacarol265 Год назад

    Thank You Mr. Derrick. God bless You. We need you

  • @esthertabat3024
    @esthertabat3024 Год назад +4

    The last line for me, stop wasting time on someone who's mama never finished training....Men without a mum is just a personal help from GOD to be better for a good woman

  • @kristabistaify
    @kristabistaify 2 года назад +5

    This so absolutely golden.

  • @Valentinovixen
    @Valentinovixen 2 года назад +17

    This is gold !!

  • @constancejenkins3867
    @constancejenkins3867 2 года назад +17

    Facts on top of FACTS.!!!

  • @ritabethany4868
    @ritabethany4868 Год назад +1

    Yes sharing this I am listening, yes love bonding. Yes got of the relationship smiling checking me out. I am not letting my guide down with him.

  • @majesticlittlechannel9942
    @majesticlittlechannel9942 2 года назад +16

    Amen... I'm going to share your page with others ♥️

  • @lanapalij4014
    @lanapalij4014 Год назад

    OMG…! I’ve heard it ALL, and it clicked with me TODAY! Thank you! You just described what I am going through…, now!

  • @kassiawarsawski1033
    @kassiawarsawski1033 Год назад

    Very well said. I’m attracting evolved men. Doing self work brush up and on the up and up. Thank you for alll the pointers I appreciate sincerely.

  • @phoenixrising8007
    @phoenixrising8007 2 года назад +18

    Your seriously leaving and he didn’t take you seriously ~ Thrill of the chase or fear of abandonment

  • @diamirysgarcia7327
    @diamirysgarcia7327 Год назад

    Omgggg everything you said is so true, 💯💯💯Agreed with you. Wise words👏👏👏

  • @AM-qr4ys
    @AM-qr4ys 19 дней назад

    THANK YOU. for all your videos ❤

  • @mygirljoey
    @mygirljoey Год назад

    Mr. Sir, thank you for your videos and messages.

  • @kimberleymcdonald9235
    @kimberleymcdonald9235 Год назад

    My sentiments EXACTLY! I knew I did it right. U r a winner!

  • @melissacarroll3716
    @melissacarroll3716 2 года назад +2

    Wow, this right here, I am so thankful for your messages

  • @candissharee
    @candissharee 2 года назад +82

    "Date men who are already grown. Evolved men, who have that wisdom... consistently."
    🤍

  • @livelearnlove9086
    @livelearnlove9086 2 года назад +2

    Derrek u need to be my bestie I love it on when u speak ur face expressions are funny but I love listening to u cause it’s all true..

  • @financethekingdomonpurpose1106
    @financethekingdomonpurpose1106 2 года назад +43

    I can forgive you, but I can’t take you back. At this point your defiled.

  • @desmondgaines7610
    @desmondgaines7610 9 месяцев назад

    Bro Bro you spot on 🎯 that guilt bro especially when you see that family out and about see it hit different it’s different when you lost a family vs just a relationship.

  • @Of_the_sea
    @Of_the_sea 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you 🙏 you always uplift my spirit 🙌

  • @maryivan936
    @maryivan936 2 года назад +5

    Truth Truth Truth!!! This message is outstanding

  • @christinejones4912
    @christinejones4912 Год назад

    Boom bang . I wish I could hug u . You really do know what you're saying.

  • @mariaare9023
    @mariaare9023 Год назад +1

    Thanks for the truth!

  • @missmiss9448
    @missmiss9448 2 года назад +2

    The best on relationship coaching 100%

  • @peachesmcghee9802
    @peachesmcghee9802 Год назад +1

    Amen, He never got his across together. His pain of abandonment runs too deep with no kind of therapy. I don't want to open that door again.

  • @cindyvazquez4333
    @cindyvazquez4333 7 месяцев назад +1

    Love this!❤❤

  • @lashondabattle2627
    @lashondabattle2627 Год назад

    Thank you sharing and being so direct and raw with your message.

  • @gemmacruz7573
    @gemmacruz7573 Год назад

    Thank You Sir&may God Bless Us All...💖🙏✨

  • @fmc4505
    @fmc4505 Год назад +2

    My last relationship ended because he constantly belittled me & tried to break my spirit. He would curse me out for calling & checking on him while he was at work. He would talk to other women in my face, and disrespect me all the time, then tell me that I am starting arguments by saying something about it. Never again. I only put up with it because we'd been friends for years before the relationship, and I thought it was just something he may be going through.

    • @Of_the_sea
      @Of_the_sea 6 месяцев назад +1

      I know what you’re talking about, I felt the same way. Like he was trying to put me down instead of lifting my spirit up. He’d say insulting things, like calling me “my bitch” and “baby” which I took as a sign of dominance at first cause I like dominant men, especially in the bedroom. He was very passionate with me always telling me how much he wants me and how he constantly has a hard on because of me. I thought this was all good signs that he is really into me, that we have great chemistry, little did I know it was all to subjugate me and make me feel smaller, I started to feel like I’m being morally abused.

  • @Meliane13888
    @Meliane13888 Год назад

    Wow!! This info helped me so much!!! Registered, and I look forward to having to choose between multiple men, or maybe not... not sure how that would feel yet, but I think I'll go with more than none!

  • @missy72488
    @missy72488 2 года назад +7

    Definitely needed this!

  • @doloresricardo2587
    @doloresricardo2587 Год назад

    This is very true. I appreciate this message😊😊😊😊