I've gotta Stop being a Perfectionist
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- Опубликовано: 5 янв 2023
- Helloooo! my name is fiji blue, and I'm just a lil person doing my lil best to improve myself and my craft. Hopefully the little of what I share about my struggle with perfectionism and tactics for overcoming it will help you if you have similar struggles. Thanks for watching!
Be sure to join my discord server!!
/ discord
---Contact
Instagram/ bluefrogy.4now
Discord/ fiji blue#1742
![J.P., NLE Choppa - Bad Bitty (Remix) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/rBDa6BCvw10/mqdefault.jpg)
With the redoing recordings, I can really relate to it. But know that: you can do this!! It’s a means of progressing to your goal!! As always, I love your vids. God bless youu ✨✝️🫶🏽
✝️📖 Parable of the Talents
It takes a lot of courage to be open about the things we struggle with. For me, perfectionism can be a blessing and a curse. Thank you for all your content, it’s inspiring to see people my age who are unashamed of the gospel of Christ! Wishing you peace and joy in the new year ❤
Thank you! comments like this are very encouraging for me, I really appreciate it 💙
I sure do love pikmin music! Congrats on overcoming (at least to some degree) what you felt has been holding you back. And don’t worry, I’ll still watch your ‘mid’ videos
Note that what I am about to say only encompasses me in some conpacity, I am complex, even I don't know much, I just wish there was a status bar I could pull up and see everything, the whole design of myself, the whos whats wheres whens whys and hows.
Behold my complex questions.
Is all video games evil?
Are they just a tool of evil?
If so, what about TV?
Books other than the Bible?
Channels and Tubers who aren't Christian/doesn't produce Christian content/Christian but they don't produce Christian content but leaves a verse here and there in the video.
Art that does not depict God or other things of Christianity?
Literature?
Stories?
Fables?
Parables?
Music that is not either not-secular (against God like the lyrics or the music is IDK) or Secular (having God being the main thing, or having God just be there in a part, IDK what the war is on secular and non secular, no one gives a clear definition that I can understand)?
My intentions were to change that, From all of the mediums and genres above and possibly more I wished to create through them something that could spread God's word with my artistic creativity, narratives woven with the intent to please God/save souls while also being, fun, educational, entertainment but not how the world uses it.
Now I just don't know.
IDK if it's itchy ears or not.
If you looked inside of me right now you will see an older self, let's say a 50 year old, cold nihilistic Grey/black/white commander uniform soldier who is completely grey on the outside and on the inside.
Nihilist towards the very thing I wanted to do, create art that inspires a better world and save souls by telling sides and stories that concludes in the favour of God, and if not, then there is definitely a sequel for that chapter.
It's war within me, IDK if it's the Will of God or not, I'm not a perfect Christian, not sure if I am or not either, ADHD, stubborness, depression, sins, it all blinds me on what my current status is with my relationship while also being cut and clear that there Is something wrong, or, it's either that or a demon that if I had the authority and power to I will ch+ke for doing this, or it's probably myself, with my own hands. My atmospheric isn't clean either, my surroundings are toxic, yet I'm chained do to circumstances, unable to speak up due to no one wants to understand nor listen.
IDK what to do, and if I do, it's forgotten or being held captive somewhat.
It's probably because I'm afraid if God would say no, but then again what was my background good for then, it's existence and the project being meaningless, subject to Execration.
Too much nuance, broadness, variety, vaqueness, too much fog that either is from God, demon, or from me that made it, confused, lost, I am able to do both and so does God, demons can J us t do one but IDK which one is legit the one doing it. Or I know and it is lagging behind.
I've searched, seeked for answers, came across just what I thought, more 50/50% coins, it's either that or the other, still lost, I could pray and seek through the Bible, but I'm not competent, I trust but then again I might not be subtly, I just don't know.
And the only one to blame is me, and that is true, my intentions was to use what I got, my artistic self and the project I made over the years to spread His Word, and to bring bubble, a safe Heaven to nurture new followers of God and to reinforce other believers, yet IDK if He is pleased or not with this decision. An evangelist who instead of being a public speaker is fishing across media subtly, the project was going to be bait, a conduit, but not for malicious intent, but a genuine cheese that is healthy, to get their attention, and then God does the rest in their life as the cheese exists for it, and the cheese will be in every form of media, always there, abundant, like any form of media that lives on the web, sowing seeds to those who encounter it, but now I believe it is all a lie. Not knowing if it's God saying it but IDK, My illness playing with me again and again, or demons who best keep their distance once I find out.
I feel like the person with one talent, either I unplug the project or not, IDK if doing so or not is burring the talent or not, I want to use my skills, but IDK.
Currently viewing things as black and white, either I'm saved for Heaven or not, idk if my family is or not but things look like their not judging by living with them, I wish to change them but I'm not competent, so I will use my art to speak for me, God through me through the art, but IDK, I'm currently viewing all of media just black, technology in general just evil, because it was created for it, all games whether Christian or not just evil, movies and shows Christian or not just evil, I just don't know, it may be my perfectionist speaking, but is it wrong if I wish for it to be genuine, true, good, and done right?
They say the road to the lake of fire is littered with good intentions, but what qualifies a good intention to be one of those?
Regarding that grey character, nicknamed him Apathy/athority to do the hard decisions, but by doing so I am becoming something I don't want to be, emotionless.
I constantly battle with myself, my sin, within my mind, think of it as every Mortal Kombat and it's sequels combined together to know how brutal I am with myself and my sin, my opponent either being me, my sin, or images or objects of sinful nature getting crushed by whatever my arsenal gives at that time, but it's all just simulation, my imagination, a narrative, truly self control that I have is weak.
I want to do art, but IDK if it's good or not.
I still act like a child even at the age of 19, therefore if I hang out with older folks would I end up like them?
This is a comment.
This is a reply.
🤯
You are sweet just do your best and be good with that. Love is still there and good things.
This video was pretty mid, I think I'll come back 🤣.
Nice 😊
I like your illustrations.
I’m looking for help to do me.
In your unique art style. Because I don’t like to Vlog on camera some days.
Practice Increasing On The Quality of your content.
Read The Parable of the Talents. Don’t overthink!