Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 3 Essential Tips [2024]
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- Опубликовано: 18 июн 2024
- Learn how to navigate the challenging waters of co-parenting with a narcissistic ex with these 3 essential tips.
Discover effective strategies to maintain boundaries, prioritize your child's well-being, and manage communication effectively.
Watch now to empower yourself with the tools to co-parent successfully despite the challenges.
#coparentingwithanarcissist #Narcissist #parentingtips
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Thank you so much Kenny! So many valuable insights here. I am truly sorry for your struggles, and I fully appreciate how you have turned your wounds into wisdom and you're using it to help others. Thank you and bless you! I've made some notes and will be more mindful of how I speak about my narcissistic ex in front of our child.
Early on in my divorce from the Narcissist, I had my son come along to one of my therapy sessions, since he was being badly manipulated by his father. I confess that I was not aware of the amount of "dumping" of my own crap I had been doing (Mostly when my children overheard me griping to my sister on the phone. They hear everything). My amazing therapist looked directly at my son and said, "I'm not on your Mom's side, and I'm not on your Dad's side. I'm on YOUR side." Even though that wasn't true, it was the exact thing my son needed to hear. Many years later that therapist is still helping me navigate the rough seas of parenthood and divorce and recovery from the years of every kind of abuse. Only after losing my Mom almost 2 years ago and seeing my narcissistic father literally fall apart without her 67 years of steady supply, did I realize how co-dependent she was and where I had learned that behavior from. Suffer not the children! Never burden the child! In time they will figure out who each parent really is, and who they are not. Thank you, Kenny. I needed the reminder, and mine are all adults!
There is what the narcissist parent is doing to you, the spouse: the kids shouldn’t be involved in that.
There is what the narc is doing to the kids. You cannot invalidate their experience, deny what they say about being abused. It destroys them to have two parents they cannot trust, no one they can depend on.
There is then the situation where the other parent is actually dangerously abusive of one or more of your children.
Many narc are good at hiding who they are, or actually behave well so long as there is no conflict.
For me, my ex narc slowly over time decided that he didn't want to contact the children, lucky if he saw them once a year, then now, as he has remarried and has babies in his early 60's same thing hardly any communication or him even visiting them, maybe a dinner once or twice a year if lucky. All my adult children are struggling with approval and alienation from him. My sons living on the other side of the city, one has finally bought his own house, my ex has never visited them to their home at all. My daughter has decided that she didn't want to stay in the same city went back to another state. She doesn't care but my sons are finding it really hard.
🙏 Kenny great knowledge your sharing, patience is key . My daughter is 18 soon , hopefully she figure's stuff out . Cheers 👍
Superb Advice
When did narcissism become such a focus? I was around 12 Step meetings for eighteen years from 1992-2010 and don't remember it ever being mentioned. I heard a bit about the inner-child, toxic shame and codependency, but nothing about narcissism.
Kenny, you make so much sense. You had to go through all of that pain just to teach me! Ha! Thank you so much!
Kenny. Please answer this. You’re saying not to talk about this stuff till they’re 18. Before they are 18 they’re likely dating. How do I handle teaching them about red flags and love bombing etc to keep them safe. Isn’t knowledge power?
You can teach them all about those topics as long as you don't use your relationship with their parent as an example.
Could you make a video offering suggestions for how to handle a narc in law who insists on unlimited time with a middle school grandchild? Particularly when it comes to setting and establishing boundaries with the child’s spouse (who for whatever reason struggles to stand up to this parent). Advise desperately needed. Thank you.
I also have other resources you can use to help you with your situation. You can submit questions you have about personal situations to "Ask Kenny a Question". I will then email you a video with my thoughts and advice. It is completely confidential. direct.me/l/7nqH