Why Are There No Good Platonic Hetero Friendships?
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- Опубликовано: 18 май 2024
- What's the deal with writers pushing sexual and romantic tension between hetero men and women in media? Let's explore some good examples of positive platonic friendships and why the patriarchy ruins everything.
Sources:
1. Avril Lavine - Complicated (Official Video) • Avril Lavigne - Compli...
2. Tara Mooknee: • Why can't fictional gu...
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010)
5. 30 Rock Season 1 Ep 1, Season 7 Ep 10, Season 5 Ep 11
6. Parks And Rec Season 5 Ep 9, Season 4 Ep 20, Season 4 Ep 9, Season 3 Ep 12, Season 5 Ep 14, Season 5 Ep 15
7. Grey's Anatomy Season 2 Ep 11, Season 8 Ep 13
8. Stranger Things Season 3 Ep 7
9. How I Met Your Mother Season 3 Ep 17, Season 5 Ep 14
10. Holes (2003) 
Развлечения
I'm bisexual. By heteronormative logic, I can't be platonic friends with _anybody_ 💀
Yeah that's exactly what my pansexual friend said once 😂😂😂
FRRRR i only figured out i was bi recently and now i've come out to my guy friends i feel like i need to signal a little more often that i am not romantically attracted to them.
NAH CUZ FR SAME
Guess my bi friend can’t be friends with anyone anymore and I can be friends with everyone since I’m ace 😂
apparently i could be friends with everyone (i’m ace) if not for the debilitating social anxiety. nice to know!
bro much as i love the friends to lovers trope, i fucking hate the phrase "something more than friendship"
ITS NOT *MORE*
ITS JUST DIFFERENT
DONT DEBASE FRIENDSHIP, WHAT THE FUCK
YES YOU GET IT
🗣️ louder for the people in the back
I AGREE
wait that's actually so true. I used to use that phrase as well but when I think about it now, it really sounds off.
Thanks you. I AM NOT MISSING OUT JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT DATING.
i had a best friend in 2nd grade he was a boy and i'm a "girl" and everyone used to think we liked each other, and you know teasing and stuff like that, even my family thought i had a crush on him. it was so much that i started to believe that he had a crush on me just bcuz i thought that he was supposed to? or something, i don't know. he's gay and i'm queer, so it would've never happened, but can we stop forcing sexuality on children please !!
i had a similar experience and at one point, we would go to cinema a lot (cuz we both started at a different new school and didn’t have friends there) and my mom would tease me about it and it would drive me mad to tears and i had to have a nervous breakdown in front of her, for her to stop :///
Since you were in second grade, that was hopefully romanticism, not sexuality!
@@RavyNevermore_ well yes but still we shouldn't push heteronormativity on children
@@existentialheart of course! Just don't want to conflate romanticism and sexuality either :)
I thought it’s you people who push sexuality on young impressionable children to “Normalize” non heterosexual relationships…
I was sitting with my childhood friend in my room, I (14 F) and he (15M) were just friends talking, but then I overheard our parents in the kitchen talking very sexually about us, mentioning condoms and such… this instantly made things weird, he also heard it, and we just awkwardly looked at each other, like wtf. Sitting next to a guy in class and talking to him = I have a crush on him automatically. I came out as a lesbian a year later at 15, but even if I wasn’t gay, this is so fucking weird to sexualise minors
Eewww your parents were talking about the possibility of you two hooking up without asking either of you directly?! 🤢🤮
@@jclyntoledoit happens a lot
@@whateverwhatever4476 yeah no, maybe for some people but that's definitely not normal
@@jclyntoledo frl this sounds so gross
relatable, but in my case it was even worse, because my mother was talking about all this stuff directly WITH ME, when i was only 13yo
1:50 Actually, it's funny you mention this. In the books, Harry got money from the Triwizard Tournament, and he gave it away to the Weasley twins because they couldn't come up with money on their own to open the joke shop due to coming from such a poor family.
I hated that they skipped this in the movies. It not only leaves the question of where the twins got the money to start their business hanging in the air, but it also takes away one of the biggest moments that shows how kind and thoughtful Harry can be. :/
oh damn, i didn’t remember this from the books! but you’re right! i am so disappointed they left that out. like that is effective character development.
Also, in the books he offered them money and they took offense to it. I think there's a scene where he sneaks coins into Mrs. Weasley's purse.
@@playingAnonymously I don't remember them ' taking offense', I'm pretty sure they felt bad about taking it?
I've never understood why fans of the series expected harry, just another child at the time, to be so philanthropic in giving away the money his dead parents left for him, and calling him a "bad person in general" (again, we're talking about a child here) for not doing so. Like it's not that deep and like you said here, he DID give money to the Weasley family, whenever they would accept it.
@@rosecoloredbby Yeah I mean... he's a kid. He didn't have to. But it would have worked in movie Harry's favor if they showed that.
Especially
I think there's one more dimention to this. Many men are just not used to how women act in friendships, because frienships between two men tend to be less deep and intimate than female friendships. So when a man becomes close friends with a woman, he'll notice that there's much more intimacy than in the friendships he's used to and then go on to misinterpret that
I was looking for a normal take in the comments, and this seems to be one of the only ones, so thank you.
yes true, i am friend with mens and womens and my friendship with my best friend is way deeper, i'm also not scared that ppl will ship us bcs she has a girlfriend, and i'm a gay aroace men. Even if, tbh, my friends were shipping me with boys and girls when i didn't had anything about my sexuality figured out. Now that i am comfortable with my sexuality i can joke with my friends abt seggs without being scared that ppl will ship me with someone in the group. (also, dudes tend to ship you way less than girls)
I disagree that men's friendships are less deep. Men and women are just different in the way that their friendships work.
@@saix_unicornhow are you both gay and aroace?
@@harmoen bcs if i had to take one, i would take a men, and i can simp on characters who are mens, but i will never have seggs or never have romantic feelings for irl ppl. Also i like ship my self-inserts with men characters.
And saying "i'm gay" is funni
I (a girl) had been mentioning this guy friend a lot that I had gotten close to over the past few months to my dad and one day my dad says "Is (guy friend's name) a *special boy*?" to which I blurted out "I like girls" LMAO anyway that's how I came out to my dad
iconic
Something similar happened to me, but replace "coming out" with having to mention that no, I actually have a boyfriend and it's someone else. It's annoying because my parents know that I generally always had more male than female friends because of my hobbies, yet even now when I'm 26 they'll have moments they suggest something more than friendship going on. I could tell them that friend is literally expecting a kid with his wife, but I prefer not to because we shouldn't need to justify why are we "just" friends with guys (as if a close friendship is inferior to a romantic relationship). Gay or not, married or not, people should mind their own business and if a romantic relationship happens, I'll announce it when's the time is right.
@@vuivraalbastraThis! That's exactly why I don't give away genders or specify and I just say a friend of mine because people are too nosy and I don't need their random ass comments that have nothing to do with why I mentioned anything
Yeah, again, doesn't apply to you. This is talking about two hetero people from opposite sexes.
@@yasininn76 It does apply to her bc of heteronormativity. Before she came out she and the guy were assumed to be straight and dating bc they were friends and everyone is assumed to be straight until they state otherwise. Its abt ppl seeing two ppl of the opposite sex together and assuming that they are dating.
Would you tell me that it doesn't apply to me? When I was abt 6-8 I was friends with this boy at school and his mother would almost exclusively refer to me as her 'future DIL'. Years later I've come out as lesbian, but that doesn't mean that someone didn't see me with a guy and assumed that we liked each other. That is the point.
This made me think of another media romance trope, the "case of the not-gays", where there are two well written male friends with great chemistry, and the writers either give one of them a female romantic partner or sexual encounter that contributes nothing to the plot other than to indirectly assure the audience that these two male friends are not in fact gay. Top gun probably being the most famous
Usually because people cannot comprehend same-sex friendships anymore either. Basically everyone's lost their mind and assumes two people who are close = gonna fuck. Which should concern tf outta everyone as we, as humans, need all kinda of connections, not just sexual and/or romantic.
@@IceQueen975 I also have seen that people don't get the difference between finding your friends atheistically pleasing, and wanting to fuck to fuck them, they think they are the same. Lots of people don't see the importance of being close with people they can't fuck which limits how many people you can be close with so not good for the mental health
And they become BI!!!!
@@IceQueen975 My theory is that this is a byproduct of our shrinking social spheres. Not sure what causes this but the decline of worker unions, the rise of social media, the rise of suburbs, and maybe some other thing I can't figure out (friendships with children being viewed as predatory, the overvaluation nuclear families, not playing outside, something else?). I'm going to keep working on the idea, reading more books, and will hopefully get to the bottom of it.
It makes sense to me as there are fewer relationships the pressure to make each one sexual or romantic rises. The distance we have with our families nowadays also makes most people you meet into a potential, legal suitor. With large family units growing up on the same farm or in the same neighborhood, you had built-in relationships which were off-limits sexually and romantically so there was always experience navigating that.
It's also entirely possible we were unprepared for the widespread acceptance of queer relationships (I'm not saying I don't want widespread acceptance of queer relationships or that I think it was a mistake, I just think we have more problems with our society that need to be addressed). The expectation that same-sex relationships can be close without being sexual did allow some gay people to hide in plain sight. Now, though, we've recognized they were hiding and widely have said they don't have to anymore. That expectation that it inherently isn't sexual is gone. We dropped the facade but for many it was not actually a cover for oppression it was genuine. So before if you wanted those platonic, close relationships you could find it with someone of your sex. Opposite sex relationships were, if anything, even more expected to be romantic and/or sexual. Now since any relationship could be sexual there's no "home base" to retreat to.
@@thugpug4392 What's the German word for "Sees someone put your exact thoughts into words"? Because this is it!
As an asexual person I appreciate this.❤❤❤
I get you there
Same!:)
Asexual as well, society are a horny bunch
3rd~ Ace fellas represent :2
Same here!
Shoutout to Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves for not only having a great platonic relationship between the main man and woman characters but for having them CO-PARENT on top of it all, not once ever implying that they’d be getting together at the end and having them joke in the movie about how it’ll never happen. That movie is great for a lot of reasons but this one is definitely a highlight
Love this movie and their relationship its so freaking good
YES!
They so cool!!
Because of the joke that she has a mini man fetish.
Don't be a goofball
Heck yeah!
I think its also important to note that now even same gender people can't have intimate platonic friendships because of oversexualization of everything, I remember being in grade 6 and been really good friends with a girl (we were always pretending to to be totally spies characters) and then after I left the school I learned that whenever I passed by a certain group of people (the mean girls) they would say 'there goes the lesbian'. I WAS IN GRADE SIX. I didn't even know what gay or lesbian meant back then. In conclusion lets just stop sexualizing people please!!!
I sympathize and I'm on your side don't worry, but just so you know, plenty of lesbians do know they like girls in grade six lol That is not an odd age to know the words gay/lesbian and what they mean. I'd imagine most people find out before that age, even.
@@jijitters it's just that I live in a conservative country and it was some time ago (2019), so It was very surprising to me because it wasn't something we spoke of back then, social media was also not as present.😅
@_reverie_e I understand! Just letting you know because it's normal to know who you have crushes on as a preteen. I was in grade six in the 2000s and I already knew I was not straight :-)
thats simply wierd, do they just not see friends, what the fuck?
Slightly unrelated but, Totally Spies was such a great show. I think I would have wanted to be friends with you to just based on that 😂😂
This is a real life issue too. My best friend is a guy. I posted a pic of us chilling together once, and someone went ' you two make a cute couple' without me ever indicating we were like that??
We've been coming up with plans to live together and be roomies, and I'm just preparing myself for all the awkward comments we're going to get when that happens. 😂
Yep same here my roommate is a man and his entire family thinks we're together nope not even a little
Felt that. I plan on being roommates with my best guy friend. People used to assume we had feelings for one another. That was until I announced that I was a lesbian and in a relationship, and that he saw me as his cringey little sister. Still, best bomb friendship I've had!
Man...I wish I was as naive and blissfully unaware of reality as you.
@@WhatevenisFudgeCakeYou are already unaware of reality, still lack the naive and especially the blissful
@@WhatevenisFudgeCake You're part of the problem. You think men and women can't be friends.
I’ve had several female friendships, and every time I had a female friend I wasn’t attracted to, the other person would either catch feelings, or they would be uncomfortable with the thought of me catching feelings and stop talking to me. It’s extremely frustrating when there are people out there that take advantage of friendships and use someone as a quote on quote “safety net”, or self esteem booster, which I have personally seen.
can you explain it to me? wdym by "catch feelings", what "advantage of friendships" and "safety net" you're talking about? i'm interested about this but struggle to understand your text. (i'm not a native english-speaker)
@@CamelliaFlingert Sure thing! So what I mean by “catching feelings”, is if the person starts to develop romantic feelings for the friend. And then for the “safety net” and “self esteem booster”comment, some men/women like having friends in their circle who are attracted to them, and pine over them to make themselves feel better, as well as have a “back up” partner, if they aren’t able to find someone within a given amount of time. Basically the person is stringing along a “friend”, while not fully committing to the partners they currently have at the time.
Everyone, go watch CBS' Elementary. It's literally the best depiction of a platonic hetero relationship I've ever seen in any media.
For anyone who doesn't know, Elementary is a modern day adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes series and they changed the traditionally male role of Watson to a female character, Joan. You could assume that the relationship between a male and female lead would gravitate towards a romantic one. However, during the entirety of its seven-season run, Holmes and Watson always remained platonic. All the characters around them acknowledge them as partners but it's never, not even once, insinuated that they might have romantic feelings for each other. They are definitely more than friends as they share an incredibly deep and profound platonic relationship but they're also definitely not romantic partners. (spoiler alert) As they say in the show, they are "two people who love each other", just not romantically.
I was always really glad that they both had strengths and weaknesses, complementing and bettering each other! definitely the best platonic relationship I've seen in any media.
I've always interpreted Holmes to be asexual. Sure there's Irene Adler but she always seemed like his unsolvable puzzle. A logical challenge to obsess over.
That sounds awesome, thanks for the recommendation, definitely gonna watch it.
This whole video I was yelling Elementary in my head every time he said "shows rarely do x" 😅 it's one of my favourite shows and my favourite hetero friendship in media (followed by Dutch & Johnny in Killjoys)
seems like that's primarily because of the nature of Sherlock Holmes. Not knocking the show by any means, I haven't seen it, it just appears to be the nature of Sherlock's character led to it being a purely platonic relationship, and the writers chose to embrace that. If my assumption is at all accurate then I respect them for it
"A Cinderella Story" has an EXCELLENT platonic friendship between the main lead Sam (a girl) and her bestfriend Carter (a boy) and they never flirt or anything and it's great!! 😄😀
I was thinking of the same characters too! I absolutely love Sam and Carter's friendship, it is beautiful!
just an absolute relief in that movie how Sam never falls into the "letting go of the hot jock who is secretly an asshole and realizing her friend was the real one all along" trope.
Yeah but idk if that counts because didn't they hint that her friend had a crush on her the whole entire time? If so it would feed the narrative that one of them wants more and is just playing the waiting game
@@jclyntoledoI don’t think so. Her friend got a crush on the popular girl, except she was too shallow and she turned him down. At the end he got together with a random girl that was briefly seen in the beginning.
omg u just reminded me of that! i agree
There's this cartoon called Lego Monkie Kid. And the main character, Mk, has a girl best friend named Mei.
In a very early episode, they establish that these two do _not_ like eachother romantically in the slightest.
And it is so refreshing to see a boy and girl main characters _just_ being best friends.
Those two are just besties!
The reactions were extreme and funny! Made it so uncomfortable I didn't want to watch any indication of that idea, lol.
@soulgalaxywolf1024 Oh yeah I remember that.
@@soulgalaxywolf1024 Yeah that's what I was referring to but I didn't wanna spoil
@@boomgirlbucko oh. I didn't consider it to be a spoiler. Hmm. Actually, I think I remember where it would be a spoiler. O-x
As an aromantic I'm very pleased to see this opinion is getting more and more popular and seen in a positive light!
relatable
Smar
Marlin and Dory from Finding Nemo come to mind as a platonic hetero relationship.
Hawkeye and Blackwidow, aka Clint Barton and Natasha Romonov. On of my favorite friendships in the MCU. Like Ron and Leslie, no one ever questions if its platonic. Only wish they had had more screen time.
Oh yeah
I remember that
So much so, that my ( now former) best friend (long story don't worry about it, we ended in good terms)
Got me a personalized mug with them both for my birthday, written "just like Budapest" in it
It's a fond memory now
I think they were planning to have them be a thing after the first avengers movie because they had a little bit of chemistry in that movie and they were a thing in the comics, but for some reason they wanted natasha and bruce to be a thing for some reason. Probably because they wanted to give bruce a love interest that can be more involved in the plot.
THIS!!!! This so much! They are deep friends, have multiple moments that show how far they are willing to go for each other and NO romantic/sexual undertones at all towards each other. And the other characters accept that, too! I love their friendship :)
In some of the cartoons they did end up together.
Appreciate your point about our culture being hypersexualized. Its one of my great frustrations, both in life and fiction. Nice to hear someone talking about it.
I am responding to you first, sadly there is a mind set of safe horny and safe edgy. Know your meme has the definition of both.
Sadly its not only just a meme. Would be wonderful to enjoy games without them being changed.
Steve and Robin in Stranger Things end up being a great platonic hetero friendship, though Steve for half a second thinks they have something more going on. He's super supportive when she comes out to him and I like that.
They have a great friendship but its not a hetero one since Robin is a lesbian
This is true but the show making Robin a lesbian is part of that “gay best friend” trope to ensure that the pair cannot get together.
When i was a kid, a girl at my school did the most heteronormative thing i've ever seen in my life. She wrote a list pairing up all the boys with all the girls in our class. She handed it out to us with the expectation that we'll conform. It was ridiculous and even at the time, i thought it was weird. Unfortunately, she paired me up with my male friend and my only friend in general at that school. Out of peer pressure, i kinda went along with it and it was really awkward. I wish she had just kept her big mouth shut. On the bright side, i barely tried and i asked someone else to ask him if he liked me so i wouldn't have to do it. I think he said no and i was so relieved.
Ah! A little Emma~
😂😂😂 Omgosh
That is so invasive if you ask me.
I had a similar experience, except I was paired up with a guy I barely knew at all (& he was extremely rude to me and chewed on my pens) simply cause we were deskmates :(
In a way that was lucky cause it would have been way more awkward if we were friends, but was still uncomfortable..
No bc something similar happened to me in school when everyone "paired up". We were 7. I just decided to ignore it and no one really cared.
I'm a trans girl, and all throughout grade school (before I transitioned) I was really close friends with another girl. Adults and peers would constantly ask if we were dating or just assume we were. The intense scrutinization of our friendship from others put a lot of strain on our relationship, especially as we got a bit older, and I started to feel like something was deeply wrong with me for not being attracted to her (I now know I only like boys). It even got to a point where I isolated myself from her because I felt like we "shouldn't" be friends and because whenever we hung out I felt people's eyes on us. This cis- and heteronormative lens that society forces on vulnerable children is so fucked up and harmful, and strains beautiful connections. It always amazes me when people claim that trans people are the ones sexualizing children when the cishets be out here with all this BULLSHIT!
Okay I understand uniformed kids but OH COME ON- ADULTS? Seriously that’s so weird
As a trans Aroace person i can relate so hard, from the dysphoria from nonsensical objectification to being bombarded with sexuality and romance injecting itself into absolutely everything in society, THERE the ones who are shuving over sexualization down people's throats.. it's just really frustrating more than anything.
Not to mention I absolutely hate the notion that romantic relationships are inherently more "valuable" or "important" it's absurd.
As someone who has had a man in my friend group for eight years, I have been asked about whether or not he was in the group cuz he's dating one of us girls.. he's not. He's like our older brother. Men and women CAN be PLATONIC
As a woman who’s grown up with mostly male friends it baffles me why people can’t comprehend this concept
Aang and Toph from Avatar was one the first that came to mind for me
Thank you for speaking on this!
It really drives me up a fucking wall when every single instance of a man and a woman HAS to get some kind of romantic spin on it.
It's like people see less value in platonic relationships which is such bullshit
And it's such a shame that most of older adults are still valuing a two-people, fragile and sometimes unfulfilling relationship over a good network of friends whom, sometimes, care the most about you and your mental health than a partner exactly because they don't want to get in your pants.
Many people have been saved by abusive partners, or even families in law, because someone genuinly cared to look after someone out of care, knowing that they possibly don't see reality as it is since they are in it.
Friendships are for me even more important than a single relationship, not because one isn't valuable, but because I find them much more pure and adventurous (especially the the you get years, where people assume you would "experiment" other than actually live your life).
I'm also personally biased bc I struggled with forming bonds up to my 20s, so I value them much more now, but some people don't realize how much more lonelier we get when we don't have an outside shoulder to lean on in some harsh times
@@crios8307 Wow, I'm of a similar disposition so maybe I'm biased too.
I greatly agree. I think all relationships are basically whatever you make of it - a friendship is only lesser than a romantic relationship if you treat it that way.
as an ace person.... THATS WHAT WERE ALL THINKING YESSSSS
I was watching fallout and (spoilers) the two main characters met and im thinking yo no way theyre homies, and then they kissed and i was thinking that it was so pointless. It would have been so much more captivating if they were like homies
As an aro/ace person with close friends across the gender spectrum, I run into this a lot (specifically people assuming I'm in a romantic relationship with my masc friends). The worst is when total strangers feel entitled to comment on your friend hangout as if it were date. Just let me go to the movies or get dinner with my masc friends undisturbed! Platonic friends can eat meals together in public too! This is also why media like Mad Max: Fury Road, the latest D&D movie, Legends of Tomorrow, and Parks and Rec hold such a special place in my heart. Those movies / shows have lots of great, close platonic friendships that warm my heart and feel way more relatable to me than the forced romances in other content
Legends of Tomorrow ftw! I recommend checking out Killjoys for some more excellent sci-fi with a platonic relationship as its most important.
Def the d&d movie, that one was filled with platonic love and it really captures a d&d groups feel of comradery
I got one! Tori and Andre from Victorious! They were great friends and stayed buddies from the beginning to end, people do ship them though…
Yes exactly! I really love and appreciate their friendship I especially appreciate Andre as a character!
I'm a 57 year old cis-gender heterosexual man, and my two closest friendships are with women and span over twenty years. We are very close. And unfortunately, yes, a lot people back then felt it was weird and expected these friendships to go in a different direction, but as far as us, the friends, there was not even a thought. Also, I've developed warm friendships with women (and men) who are millennials, and of course, my friendships with the young women are suspected or assumed to being either May-December affairs, or worse, sugar daddy situations. I do agree that these assumptions arise from patriarchal paradigms. It's disappointing.
So, one example I've seen is the new Dungeons and Dragons movie. The Bard and Barbarian are purely friends. They're just not sexually into each other.
Sincerely couldn't care less for post-endgame MCU
but Shang Chi and awkafina's friendship was handled quite well
It's the only thing I remember about that movie
I’ve actually had this thought so many times 😭 it feels like so much media these days revolves around romance, and I find myself missing close platonic relationships
To add to the list, Raleigh Beckett and Mako Mori from Pacific Rim. They don't end up together, they're just friends with good chemistry, it's dope.
Cassian Andor and Jin Urso in Rogue One. they even finish the film in a similar platonic embrace. I loved that they didn't kiss as the bomb went off, they just hugged one another and waited for the end 😭
Man, if only we got a sequel that got us more of that... One can only dream.
I almost forgot about that duo. Those two are goated and I adore them.
@@NayrAnuryeah if only we got a sequel that was actually good.
Ron and Hermione do make sense. He consistently defends her, he is her comfort, she is the brains and he is the heart, in the books Harry often goes off on his own or is alone by sheer circumstances leaving Ron and Hermione together a lot offscreen. Theres so many other reasons. Hermione tries to make Ron jealous, gets angry when he doesn't ask her to the ball etc.
Right! HP has good cross-gender friendships. Harry/Hermione are the goat. Harry & Luna are buddies.
Ron & Hermione's friendship is different. It's foreshadowed that they'll end up a couple right from the start imo, and obvious from book 4 onward that they both have crushes on each other.
@@Amy3422 yeah saying Ron and Hermione don't make sense is so dumb, their feelings are hinted at all the time not to mention the book is from Harry perspective so obviously he won't know the more intimate details or understand stuff like why Hermione is angry Ron thought of her as a last resort to the ball. But what girl wouldn't fall in love with a guy who defends her from a teacher whilst others just laugh. Or who is screaming and freaking out when your left with a torturer. Not to mention they spend most of their time together.
@@Markus2E5I6 It seems like most discussion of the Romione ship is based either on the movies (like in this video), or at least based on very inattentive reading with the movies influencing interpretation.
It's fine not to ship it, but denying that the relationship is developed is just silly.
@@Amy3422 yeah, but even judging from the movie (because I saw the movies first) I predicted they were going to be together from the first movie...Hermione literally copies what Mrs Weasley says earlier (dirt on your nose bit) and thats a common thing with partners looking for people with attributes similar to their parents. And by the fourth movie I knew they were going to be together because Hermione was angry with not being asked and was fine with being Ron's 'owl' (in the I'm not an owl scene). Order of Phoenix movie, Ron the first to tell off Grawp for touching Hermione. Plus their banter is like an old married couple. The signs have always been there
@@Markus2E5I6 Oh, for sure. I'm just convinced that the movies harmed understanding of the ship because Steve Kloves wanted Harry/Hermione. The movie characters are simplified and have different chemistry, so the relationships came across as less convincing.
I think an incredibly underrated Jack and Liz moment is when they are fighting about her talk show and the moment that most shows have as a spinning kiss is instead a thoughtful handshake. It’s very funny but hammers in that they aren’t interested. Loved your video. 😁
I always think back to the "will they, won't they" moment in Pitch Perfect 3 between John and Gail, which ends up with them laughing because it's so ludicrous. We need less love triangles and friends to lovers and more of that
LOL I laughed along when that happened, I love those two 😆😆😆
its such an interesting trope because it involves so many different cultural ideals and other tropes that come together to make man + woman = relationship. It goes with the "trophy wife" trope (the idea the mc gets a love interest as a reward for good deeds), also has some other people have commented it can be used to ensure the audience that the characters aren't gay, even if they have way more chemistry with same-sex characters.
Saying "just friends" implies that "friend" is lower tier than a "lover"
I am a bisexual and have 1 best friend that is a girl
And platonic friendship woth her is like one of few things in my life that are good
This has been a long-time wish of mine. Random thought, when I watched Tangled the first time, I was so excited because I _thought_ Flynn and Rapunzel were going to be platonic friends. After all, she's turning 18 and he's clearly like, 25? Right up until the moment when the stepmother asks, "You don't think he could possibly be interested in yoOuU!" I did not realize that romance was on the table. ALAS.
It's fine in our world and they're in like medieval times
I don't think the gap in age is that big, but if you want to see a platonic friendship in the tangled universe you should watch the surprisingly good show.
@@TiredMoonRabbit I've heard good things! I'll check it out. Always happy to have something new that I can watch while the kids are awake 😁
@TiredMoonRabbit they're actually spot in with the age gap tbh. We don't know if she was 18 or 19 but we know he's 7 years older.
Actually made sense in the movie Tangled because in typical Disney princess stories there's always a romantic interest so I already knew there were doing a slow burn type of deal
On Parks and Rec: Dianne does question the nature of Leslie and Ron's relationship, but only in one episode and it's quickly brushed off.
1:14 - lol the movies really did ron dirty... he's amazing in the books, and just as flawed as harry and hermione
Totally agree. Back in the day, I really shipped Ron and Hermione, and was really glad when they eventually got together. I think the books had more to build up their relationship.
i hate how students and even TEACHERS in schools force sexuality on other people. i had a best friend in 2nd grade and he was a boy. one day it was teachers day and they were selling roses to give to the teachers. so we decided to buy one for our teacher. so many people walked past us, INCLUDING TEACHERS, saying how we are a "cute couple" and stuff. even when we were saying how we were just friends, they always assumed were just in denial. we were in 2ND GRADE. 2ND. GRADE. like WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??????
2:00 EXCUSE ME, you might want to actually re-read the ending of Goblet of Fire where Harry at least gives his prize money to the twins so they can pursue their entrepreneural endeavours. They were the only ones he knew would actually *accept/take* the money. The Weasley's may have been poor throughout the majority of the franchise but they would have been way too proud to take handouts from anyone, least of all from Harry himself...~ Also, Ron's & Hermione's relationship was written very believable over the course of the book series. As a 12yo growing up alongside the series, I was able to pick up on Ron's feelings for Hermione in fucking book 2 when she got turned into stone by the Basilisk. It was THAT obvious he had a thing for her, basically since the very beginning.
Yes! Harry was also kind of reimbursing them for the quidditch wager they won against Ludo Bagman, who paid them with leprechaun gold that disappeared. And he threatened to throw the money away if they didn't take it. (I think he might have first offered it to the Diggory family, who refused it for obvious reasons, although I might be misremembering that; it's been a while since I read GoF.)
Thank you!! I feel like this RUclipsr didn’t even take the books into account at all 😭
Yeah… I don’t understand when people say it came out of nowhere, especially in the books. It was so obvious in nearly every book except the first. The relationship that *did* come out of nowhere was Harry and Ginny. But I’ve accepted it lol.
Yeah, I mean the video is good and all, but most media that he chose for his example have all heterofriendships in them like Avatar for fuck sake has A LOT of them
literally my favourite thing in media is friendships, i'm more likely to be into the friendships than the romantic pairings, so it goes without saying, i am disappointed a lot
Armin and Mikasa? Aang and Toph?
I love these characters so much. But one of the reasons they aren’t implied to be together is because one of them is already interested in someone else.
The Harry Potter books vs the movies adaptation issues in terms of the Harry, Ron, and Hermione dynamic are fascinating to me. Because while the JK Rowling had the intention of pairing Ron and Hermione, Steve Kloves, the screenwriter, shipped Harry/Hermione, which is kind if why so many of their scenes in the later movies are weirdly romance-framed despite the verbal insistence of platonic friendship. I’m thinking specifically of the scene in the yule ball when Hermione descending the staircase in her ballgown is framed from the perspective of harry and the tent dance scene from the seventh film.
It also doesn’t help that Ron’s character and chemistry with Hermione was all but assassinated by those screenplays as well.
I like that the media is portraying platonic friendships between a man and a woman more. And I love when the friendships between these characters involve other people assuming they’re a couple and they have to awkwardly correct them because I know from experience that is very accurate.
Fighting for Romoine until I'm old and grey. In the book it just came very naturally with them growing up. Yes, they were bickering all the time, yes, they fought over absolutely nothing. But Ron always was jealous of other guys around Hermoine in a way, even if he could not understand it yet. Even Harry thinks so to himself a few times and he's Captain Obvious himself. I guess Romoine starts in book three and definitely in book four.
Harry and Hermoine always were nothing more than platonic friends, she cares deeply for him, and she's one of his favorite people to be around. But they always had more of a sibling energy. They both died of embarrasment when Rita Skeeter framed them as couple and wrote that Hermoine had basically cheated on Harry.
Ron is the forgotten tactician, a very bright head under a lot of bad manners and rude, even if honest comments. He has grown up as the last baby boy to parents that wished for a girl instead (and then got Ginny). Even his own mother cared more for Harry bc of his orphanage than for Ron, she did not even think it was possible that Rita had just made the whole story about Harry and Hermoine up, that Ron maybe could have been in love with her at all - or, even worse, that Hermoine could have liked Ron. I pity him. Ron was slow to recognize his feelings and Hermoine was waiting for AGES for Ron to make a move (she scolds him for that in book 4 (and the film, too)). It was a natural progression and I was so glad as a kid when they FINALLY had their moment.
They are a good match and I will die on that hill.
I love them! Most people who say that stuff haven't read the books
Yeah, it was pretty obvious from book two (maybe even more so three) onward. Heck, my 12yo self back then could see it coming from a mile away. I feel like their dynamic kind of gets lost in the films, because Ron is nothing more than a bumbling idiot in them, sadly. But in the book Romione was LEAGUES more natural and believable than god damn Harry & Ginny.
@@D0MiN0ChAn still infuriating how they gave Harry Ron‘s lines. How they made Ron into the clumsy, rude and stupid comedic relief character. I needed to get to know him in the books to like him (maybe started to actually like him around book 5, i always thought of him as somewhat petty?), but definitely could see Romoine from an early stage. He is so much more the films made him look to be…
I agree with you. Ron was very protective of Hermione even more than Harry as in Chamber of Secrets where he defended her against Malfoy calling her a mudblood.
@@joannanteza1296 that specific scene could also be because Ron is the only one who truely understands what Malfoy has called her, he is the only one of the Trio that grew up in the world of magic and therefore knows the language and cuss words better than Harry and Hermoine. But still, he IS ready to punch Malfoy, whereas Harry just “knows” it was a “bad word“.
I’m a straight guy and my best friend is a woman, it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had and neither of us intend in the slightest to make it anything except platonic.
We get harassed by a lot of people who tell us that we should start dating or we’d be cute together, and it makes us equally disgusted that despite telling them multiple times we have absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship, our own friends and family struggle to believe it.
Its been my experience that when a man hits on you and you deny him, often he will request friendship next, and then accuse you of making assumptions for refusing that "friendship."
I know its made me more wary of considering friendships in the past.
one thing you can do is just not be friends with the guys that hit on you, but be friends with those who don't start things off like that. but yeah that must suck ass, as a guy I've never had this stress
This! And then in like 2 to 8 weeks they'll come back and tell you that you've been really confusing sending them mixed signals and they don't know what you are or they confess their feelings and when you say you just see them as a friend they'll get all upset saying you led them on 😭😭😭
@samnelson7428 this does not apply to chad I've literally seen a chad disrespect a girl and threaten to slap her and literally hang out later that Day.
@@Halo4beatsB02 You called a normal human being a Chad unironically. Your opinion is invalid. Pull your head out of the manosphere and maybe figure out what a "joke" is. Women don't hang out with asshats who legit threaten to slap them, but sometimes with sarcastic bastards. You're too busy looking for ways to hate women to recognize basic social interactions.
There was one moment in Parks and Rec where the dynamic of Leslie and Ron was questioned in a serious way - with Diane. When Ron and Diane first get together, Diane is very intimidated by Leslie and Ron's relationship, even with Tammy 2 around. Diane is less intimidated by Tammy who WAS married to Ron then she is Leslie. Of course it all works out in the end, and it also just proves your point further.
And when people say that their kids "must like/be dating [friend of a different gender]": kids have crushes and get enamored and what not. Kids have sexuality. The problem is stating that one type of relationship is the default and expecting a relationship to always be that default. The alternative to this is continuing observation until you're certain they're friends or certain that they have romantic feelings for eachother, or even leaving it up in the air and saying "Yeah, I actually can't tell if they like eachother or if they are platonic."
The problem is assuming a default, and then enforcing that default!!
So one example of platonic friendship that I wish I saw was from Star vs the forces of evil. Like genuinely, was it necessary ?
Nah, it was good until the final season ruined Starco.
I recommend the book Radio Silence the main character is a girl and becomes very close friends with a boy its so sweet and they are like platonic soulmates
Luffy and Nami
I'm a 59-year-old male who, ever since high school--both in many U.S. states and a few European countries--have had more female friends than male, can honestly say that yes, platonic relationships CAN work and are quite awesome. Now, can I say I have never had a crush on every one of those friends at one time or another? No. Not at all. Can I say that none of them have displayed signs of being interested in more than a friendship with me. Nope. So is there always sexual tension? No to that as well, but my CLOSEST platonic relationships have definitely all had sexual tension, for probably most of the time of the relationship. Sometimes, though, it's best to face it head-on and say--out loud--"Isn't it great that out of most of my friendships with someone of the gender that turns me on, you are one of the rare ones I haven't ever kissed." Like, then it becomes more of an easy challenge to just say, "Well, I can't kiss them NOW." It's kinda like that one Seinfeld thing where he saw the potato chip commercial with the tag line, "You can't eat just one," implying that once you eat one, you'll crave the rest of the bag. But he bought a ba, ate one, threw the bag with the rest of them away, and has never bought a new bag since. You don't think about it because you CAN'T think about it. No more tension. Ever. It works.
And it's very healthy for straight couples, because you learn a LOT more about the opposite sex, since those platonic friends acknowledge you as no longer "mixed company." It's like you get invited into all the secret conversations they usually keep private from your own gender. And in general, they feel less threatened by you or your intentions, so you can grow even closer. (But see, the closer you get, the more intimate your discussions and feelings get, and the more you get along and bond, the more likely it is for that sexual tension to rear its head.) And if you're both going through a long period of being single, it's natural to start to think, "Hey, I'm lonely. I crave a person's touch. I'm horny. And this person always stands behind me and loves the same things I do, so why not...? Yeah. THAT'S the problem. Plus, of course, if you ARE in committed non-platonic relationships, developing or maintaining a strong friendship with someone else causes issues in your primary relationship. So either way, a strong, fully-platonic-for-all-time thing IS super-UNrealistic. I guess for the duration of a 300-page novel or a 3-hour movie should work, but not if it stretches longer than a decade.
This video hit pretty hard because I’m experiencing this situation in real life. I am a bisexual man and my best friend is a lesbian who I live with (we have two other roommates as well). We do a lot together (including cooking multiple times a week) and have chickens together. We are 100% platonic, and pretty much see each other as siblings. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had, and I have never had any sort of romantic feelings for her. One of our other friends started making jokes about how we would end up together, and how we are practically married. They are bisexual and non binary, so I had expected them to understand how us being opposite genders would not mean we would be together, but they make pretty frequent comments about it and I have no idea what to do. We have both told them that isn’t happening, but they still seem convinced. We ignore it for the most part, but it feels weird to me, especially because she is exclusively attracted to women.
I just had to add this Swedish Netflix show I watched called Young Royals where the main character (Prince Wilhelm) had an awesome friendship with his classmate Felice. Even though they started out as Felice having a superficial crush on Wilhelm and they even end up kissing once, she gracefully took her own misinterpretation of Wilhelm's feelings into account and they became best of friends while Wilhelm was in love with one of his classmates, Simon. This shows that even though you can have a rocky, sort-of romantic start between a boy and a girl, it's just that easy to get over it and become best friends because friendships are more beautiful many a times. Not every sort of feelings have to go somewhere and you don't have to see people in a romantic light all the time.
Haley and Lucas on one tree hill. They‘re best friends and even talk about how not interested they’re in each other. And what I appreciate is that at no point is the show trying to make them a couple.
I think my favourite platonic relationship between two characters of the opposite gender are Jake and Rosa or Jake and Gina in Brooklyn 99. I love how they both have a deep and meaningful relationships, that are unique in their own ways, but there is never a doubt that they could be anything more than friends. Like, there could very easily be a plot line where Amy is scared that Gina and Jake like each other, but they don’t do that because they understand that men and women can just be friends, and that these characters are just that.
the perpetuation of the "friendzone = bad" idea really has infected a lot of people's minds. i've experienced a 'friend' telling me that i owe him at least a chance at a romantic relationship, when i was not interested in him in that way at all, and then he got mad and called me selfish bc i wouldn't even try. yeah...
That guy is not a friend. He's an incel.
@@breezy3392 yeah no, i've stopped talking to him :/ disappointing to have lost a friend, but at least now i know his truth.
If you want a really good example of a "Hetero-normative" relationship between a man and a woman, a good example is Sherlock and Joan from Elementary.
It's also hard for men to be close friends with women because unless they're gay/single, their partners (man's gf and woman's bf) can easily get jealous of the intimacy and start suspecting about the cheating. I know it's not everyone, but there are more insecure people than confident in their partner (that's why a lot of relationships don't last). If you're a guy friend of a girl and she has a boyfriend, the boyfriend will very likely assume that you have a crush on her and are waiting for the right moment to confess. It's more likely that your girlfriend will be more welcoming of your female friend and she'll probably want to be her friend as well (and probably use this opportunity to talk about you in hopes to get some juicy secrets). I had only one female friend whose boyfriend was very cool with me, and I sort of became their third wheel.
But ironically, the best female friends almost always happened to be my exes or past crushes, because you satisfied your romantic curiosity and figured out it doesn't work for you or attraction wasn't mutual, but intimacy remained. It's like it lifts the social pressure to date from your shoulders and allows you to fully appreciate the platonic friendship with the person you care about. And by the way it's totally okay to be sexually attracted to your friend, it doesn't mean it should "evolve" into something "more". Here, even our languages (it's not just English) value romantic relationships above platonic friendships.
Lego monkie kid had the main character and the "girl character" be best friends and there was an episode that they couldnt be more explicit that they would NEVER date
Your tone and voice are great for commentary. Keep going, you deserve many more subscribers!
actually there is, denji and power
Ohh yah the definitive answer
i've been thinking about this a lot because i'm a bit worried that The Bear is going in a romantic direction between Syd and Carmy. i just think they have a really beautiful platonic relationship and i personally would like it to stay that way (a lot of people seem to disagree tho!)
I never really saw that but I did worry near the end of s2 that they were trying to set something up with Syd and Marcus, I'm hoping that doesn't happen either
I accidentally kinda messed up a beautiful platonic friendship I'd had for YEARS because I felt so much pressure to just start liking boys already.
Context: I've recently realized I'm asexual and most likely also demiromantic! For most of my life, I simply had zero interest in dating. I just sorta assumed I would be single forever and adopt some older kids when I was in my thirties or forties. My excuse whenever people confessed feelings for me was always "I'm not ready to date yet," but honestly, it was more that I just didn't WANT to date yet.
Around when I was 19 or 20 and still had never had a boyfriend, I started getting teased more by a younger male friend I was close with (he was 16/17 at the time I believe, obviously I had zero interest in him, he's not the friendship I ruined lol). I didn't think it bothered me, but the more time passed the more I started feeling like there genuinely was something wrong with me because I wasn't interested in dating.
Cue my online best friend Trey (fake name).
Trey and I met on Wattpad of all places and were part of an online friend group consisting of two boys and three girls. The other two girls were three years younger than me and the other boy in the team, five years younger than Trey, so obviously there was never gonna be anything there with them and the guys, but as I was closer in age to Trey I started to wonder if maybe I should just like him. (The other boy in the group is a trans man who 1. at that time, was not out, and I have never been attracted to women and didn't know he was trans, and 2. had been my best friend for something like 10 years at that point so he felt so much like a sibling we could not fathom dating each other LOL)
It reached a head when a fourth girl, my age, also joined the group temporarily and confessed to me that she had a crush on Trey. I felt a strange sort of possessiveness at this--I had decided Trey might be MY crush, and I guess I better say something to him now that this mew girl is a potential threat!
I told Trey I liked him romantically and to my surprise, he reciprocated eagerly. We were both extremely confused and new to the whole dating and romance thing, but who cares, we had a partner now! Kind of! He lived on the other side of the country and I didn't know how to make long distance work so we decided we would flirt online and date for real when we could live closer to each other one day!
We spent a lot of time love-bombing and gushing over each other. When we met up in person during my cousin's wedding, we bought matching funny shirts. We would ramble on shared Google Docs about all the things we loved about each other. And then...one day I suddenly realized all my feelings for Trey really were strictly platonic.
I have no clue what triggered this realization, honestly. It was like reality sorta slapped me in the face and said "hey, what are you doing, these are just friendship feelings??? stop it??? you don't want a boyfriend and this is moving too fast"
I had to tell Trey and it broke his heart. It had been real for him, though he agreed we had maybe gone overboard in the fresh excitement of something new. Years later, I ended up actually feeling real romantic feelings for the first time with another guy and we've now been dating for three years.
When I told Trey about my new relationship, it wrecked him. He told me he couldn't stop thinking about what could have been and promised he planned to become a major obstacle in my relationship so I would break up with my boyfriend and date him instead. We stopped talking to each other altogether for a while because it was too painful for him to still be friends with me. And if I had never mistaken my platonic feelings for him as romantic, I don't think his feelings ever would have gotten this far, because it never would have been a possibility.
He's since apologized for his more possessive behavior, and we both realized after everything we've gone through together it's worth it to stay friends, but the relationship is different now. It'll probably always be different. I don't feel as close to him as I used to be, and I feel fairly confident he feels distant with me too. It genuinely freaking SUCKS.
All of this to say: PLEASE start normalizing close and emotionally intimate friendships between people. I know I'm not the only person who's lost an important friendship because the media and society told me it was time to rush into picking a boyfriend. Leave us alone I beg you 😭
The only good platonic hetero relationships I've seen are Carol and Daryl from The Walking Dead and Donna and the Doctor from Doctor Who.
Excited to see what you churn out! Subscribed
I'm glad someone spoke up about this. One of my favorite TV shows, Law & Order SVU, had the two main characters, Stabler and Benson, as longtime partners and friends. Their banter was akin to best friends or family, not romantic interest. Stabler had a high school sweetheart and a big family that welcomed Benson like one of their own, and Benson pursued romantic endeavors with other men. My favorite moment is from one of the series' earliest episodes, when Stabler steals Benson's orange juice after she takes a swig herself -- if that doesn't scream best friends to me, I don't know what does. However, fans naturally shipped them together, and eventually the execs realized that making "Bensler" happen was the only way to keep viewership up.
They brought back Stabler, killed off his wife, and had them confess their love to each other. I more or less stopped watching after the writers sabotaged their friendship; I was so mad. I heard that they've kissed, and who knows what else they've done. I loved how I had such a solid representation of a platonic hetero friendship, and it was ripped away from me. Even in an interview, Benson's actress remarked how beautiful the friendship was and how she was against a romantic relationship between the two. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 all I want is to see a dynamic on TV mirror the ones I have with my IRL friends of all genders smh how is that so hard
Just found your channel and i’ve loved all of your video essays so far
If my memory serves me right, Harry was offering to help Ron and his family but they always refused his money. And as for the elves, the ones at Hogwarts were unsurprisingly content with their situation as servitude was always part of their nature both in folklore and in this world. Hermione was just self-righteous and ignorant and refused to listen to elves because she had a savior complex and all of her activism was much more about patting herself on a back for how good she is rather than listening to the elves.
Reminds me of a time when I made a friend of the opposite gender in university and nearly every time they were brought up in conversation at home my parent's and my parent's friends would ask if there was anything ~going on~ between us. Obviously there wasn't, and eventually me and this friend stopped talking; we didn't have a fight or anything- sometimes people naturally drift apart and it can't really be helped- but the other people in my life were far more upset over it than I was and behaved like I'd "lost my chance." Because they were apparently shipping me and this random person that they'd never met or even knew the name of who they only knew about because I mentioned them when they asked if I'd made any friends. Heteronormativity is both wild and ridiculous.
I think a show does a great job at showcasing platonic relationships between main characters is It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Sweet Dee is the only girl in a group with four other guys, one of which being her twin brother, and another being her VERY old legal father, and suffice to say, none of them are interested in her or find her attractive in the slightest, which allows her to be on an equal playing field with them, even though she's usually their punching bag/scape goat. Throughout the course of the show, we see that even though the Gang is HORRIBLE to each other, they still feel and act like actual friends, and with them being the way they are, they've only got each other.
And sure, there was that one episode where Dee and Charlie catch feelings for each other and have a make-out session, but it's not treated seriously whatsoever, AND it was in an episode where the entire gang was out of their element.
this is succhhhhh a great video, please never take it down
I absolutely agree with everything said here, also, platonic friendship and relationships in general are *so* underrated!! The level of fulfillment you get from it is unparalleled, can make an unfortunate situation in life such as a terribly paying job, a high stress lifestyle in general both so much more bareble and enjoyable, like you have some pleasant reasons to live!
One of my best friends is a straight girl and she legitimately believes that men and women can’t be friends without some sort of romantic interest in each other. Which did shock me because I’ve never believed that and I guess I expected most of my friends not to either. I do think some of it is projecting on her part since she has no guy friends and only interacts with guys when she’s into them (we are in high school). But I’m still shocked that she would think her experiences apply to everyone else or that she would believe that heteronormative “women and men can’t be just friends lololol” bs
And this HAS affected me in my life. My best friend in middle school was a dude, and when I was in 6th grade I had convinced myself that I had a crush on him even tho I didn’t. Heck, in 8th grade he wouldn’t even talk to me during school hours and would only interact with me through text because his friends would make fun of him about liking me if he was seen with me. Isn’t that fucked up? Like I couldn’t even be seen with my best friend because everyone assumed there was romantic feelings between us.
we need way more platonic relationships!
very well said!!
Just found this video in my recommended and I totally agree with you. It makes things difficult to truly get perspective on the other sex when being friends with them puts pressure on you to date them.
my bestie is a dude. our brains and souls click like crazy but there is noooo sexual or romantic attraction between us whatsoever. on the other hand, I have thought about using the power of my singleness and just marrying him so he can come back into the country (he's from Tanzania) lol
real talk though it took me a long, long time and quite a lot of work to get over the whole "all men are potential romantic interests" thing. I had to meet a lot of people too before I realized that some people like you, some people don't, some people never will, and that's all ok because everyone is just different, and that's what makes the world interesting.
This was therapeutic. Thank you!
So far I'm 15 comments deep in the comments section, and everytime someone says they agree they also conclude with the "yeah, we're both gay, what did people expect."
If you're gay, then this fucking rule doesn't apply to you. This is talking about two hetero people from opposite sexes, and no, at some point in the friendship, one of the two IS gonna catch feelings for the other, even if just for a small time. That's literally how humans are, you spend time together, you get attached, you start feeling friendship, then you start evaluating if the other person would be a good choice for a partner, maybe you catch some feelings, then you eventually realize that they're not the right person and move on.
No. I've had the same male best friend for 30 years, and we have never at any point been physically attracted to each other. We'd die for each other, but hell no, this is not hetero lurve.. You're a condescending jerk and an insult to the concept of platonic friendship.
Had individuals who got mad at me for being platonic friends with their S.O. to a jealous level. It ruined the friendship and was heartbreaking. Platonic friendships even raised orientation questions from friends and family. 🤦♂️
This was phenomenal! I've been wondering about this for years! Another example of platonic relationships would be Dick Grayson and Donna Troy in Titans (DC comics) (at least I hope its the same in the comics as in Titans. I've only seen a few panels of their friendship on tumblr.) I absolutely adore their friendship! And I definitely want a friendship like that!
this is completely unrelated to the content of your video (great work btw!) but i just wanted to say your music taste is impeccable B)
The majority of platonic friendships i can name in media happens in young childrens cartoons and shows.
Amazing video. I would recommend you using some academic sources in your video. It would bring more credibility to what you are saying. Anyways, you got you a new follower!
Ron and Leslie, Liz and Jack, and Schmidt and Jess are some of the best platonic friendships in media. just two people who get along with one another despite their differences, it always makes for some funny episodes
My classmate/female best friend and I enjoy ironic humor, so we always joke about "being together", so much so that some people actually thought I have a crush on her lol. We talked about it, and are well aware that it would never work out.
The patriarchy and oversexualization discussed in the video also helped me realize even more that the "crush" I thought I had on her when we first met was purely physical attraction and overwhelmedness. She wasn't particularly my type, but the fact the she was deemed "the hottest girl in class" and actually introduced herself to me initially kinda forced me into the idea that "I must pursue her, otherwise I'm a weirdo simp loser who got friendzoned by the hottest girl in class". Glad I didn't take my "chance", since she already has a boyfriend, and I can only see her as my sister.
Thank youuuu!!!❤
Star and Marco. when I think about it I cant help but feel sick
I'm the only girl in our friend group (there's four of us). I've had people (always girls) telling me they had a crush on me and "boy's cant be friends with girls". Its so stupid and annoying, i always tell them "You're friends with another girl but you dont have a crush on her"
As an asexual and aromantic person I appreciate this video greatly
On the one hand, I understand the desire to to show hetero friendships, on the other hand, I think most literature/media critic types severely misjudge emotional state of the average real life man.
A lot of men have great difficulty forming fulfilling emotional connections with others. They can go years without any, so when you do find them, they're very precious to you. If they're with a woman, it can be extremely difficult to separate your feelings for her as a woman and your feelings for her as a friend. She's not one or the other, she's both.
I have female friends who I love very much but would not date. They are the exception, not the rule. If a man likes a woman enough to be her friend, he likes her enough to date her. The determining factor after that is whether or not there's any attraction.
When I was in my early teens, a boy moved into my neighborhood. At a social event with some of the other kids my age, I got to know him and learned we had a lot in common. It was really nice to have made a friend (didn’t have many lol), but after the event a friend and her mom made some very weird comments about us, suggesting that I liked him and the such. It made me insanely uncomfortable, but no matter how much I told them we were just friends, they wouldn’t let it go.
Something similar has also happened to my brother and my mom before. Yeah, my brother and my mom. They were out of state for a weekend and heard people made some very uncomfortable and suggestive things about them, just because my brother looks old for his age.
Anyways, this has gotta stop.
This is a fantastic video and definitely got me reflecting on my biases as well, lol. We definitely need more heteronormative platonic relationships on screen and irl!!!
when i was 6 i met a boy who lived far away and i would never meet again. i decided to use his name whenever adults or other kid would ask who i liked lol. cause saying there was no one led to "are you suure" and feeling like i was doing something wrong.