I was Kelly Slater's secret weapon behind historic Bells Beach heat win!
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- It will come as no surprise to followers of BeachGrit and fans of Chas Smith that his multi-medium attacks on Kelly Slater have been revealed as a ruse to push the greatest-ever surfer into hitherto unseen levels of performance.
In the latest episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, the Cardiff-based linguistics professor says he was motivated by a desire to prove that age is unimportant even at the highest levels of sport and that Kelly Slater was the only man on earth to prove his theory.
“Today we find ourselves in a historic moment for yesterday the fifty-five-year-old from Coco Beach Kelly Slater won…a surf heat. History said this was not supposed to happen. That a man above certain age is no longer able to perform at the highest levels, to win surfing competitions, or running or rowing or tennis or ping pong competitions.
“It’s a young man’s game, all games, apparently.
“We, the ageing, then, are forced to say, I guess so, and that getting older means getting irrelevant, just passing time until you fall into an open grave. Sad, depressing, downright bleak.
“And here we have Kelly Slater. I saw him coming down the pipe and said, Kelly Slater is going to be the one who sends everything on its head. Kelly Slater, flipping the script.
“But what does he need? He hasn’t won in a year or more! It seemed over. It seemed dark.
“What did Kelly need? I sat back as a surf journalist and thought, the man needs spite! Kelly Slater needs spite! So I began a campaign declaring he would never win another heat in his career, that we had witnessed the last professional win of the Kelly Slater era knowing that these little seeds get planted in the greatest ever’s heart. And a spite tree grows!
“It takes a village to build a GOAT, as the great Hillary Rodham Carter once said. I knew I had work to do, paint the story, re-engage the story, get this story to have a traction for Kelly Slater to win a heat.”
And, here we are.
Thank you Chas, the world owes you a massive debt of gratitude my old friend 🤙🏽
Haha classic! The Old goat is 52 last time I checked there Chas not 55! 😆
Darts, Lawn Bowls and Bells Beach rd 1 Heats. The aged mans, trifecta! 🔥
Hey Chas as a man of words can you confirm that the WSL words warble, warbel, borble and bobble are not actually real words. I have a hunch that the commentators have invented these words and really do now imagine that they are actually words.
Warble and bobble are real words. Not sure about the others 😅
Opps, sorry KS, as Rosanna Danna Danna used to say "never mind"
He did win another heat, bless him
Congratulations Chas, you are almost entirely responsible for the win and the child’s gender. You have been nothing but humble, earnest and honest in this video and that is why we appreciate you
Next up Felipe will dominate Chopes, all because of you! Thanks Chas 😂
Leading to the best sport film of all time. Surfing's Rocky!
Was dying to enjoy your take on that slatered florence, is like
why dont let other people enjoy the winning with serious possibilities of getting championships and that sort of limelight that kids deserve. Only thinking, keep up the good grit. We too hate surfing🤗🤗🤗
Dude you are so nutty🤣🤣🤣
Kelly really didnt win that heat though. More WSL hype for Kelly. JJF was way underscored on his first wave.
Make Kelly great again !
i drink bud zereo too still can win a neat after a twelver and i am 55 sr mens division
Is the a pile of non-alcohoic beer cans? I might have to sent chas a cultured man's drink. Diet Bundaberg Ginger Beer. Brewed in Queensland. Bottled in a beautiful brown glass stubbles. Drunk by men of health, style and culture. Without ego.
I like turtles
You still supporting Budweiser?
He's 52 lover boy...
Kids with excelent work, talent and innovation have a right to try to earn a living !!!!
give it up