To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining. For more videos click the JOIN button.
Hi Mark, I think it's because I like people with mixed traits. So the least attractive people for me are super sweet, almost submissive women and extremely masculine men who can't embrace their soft, emotional side. I also generally like who wears what they feel like wearing, independently from any gender convention.
My partner/wife is very much a combination of the two, with different aspects manifesting at different times. For us, this makes for a keen, interesting, loving and wonderful partnership! Thank you so much for sharing! 💚
Hey thank you so much Rob for sharing this. I massively appreciate your comments on my videos. If you have time to post some more comments it helps me out so much. That’s so cool that you relate with what I’m saying and you have such a connection with your partner/wife. I’d really love to ask - how do you feel when you’re with her? Is there anything specific about females that you are attracted to specifically or does gender not play such a role. I’d love to know more as I’m so interested to hear your experiences. Thanks again my friend.
loved it,well explained. there are men in my life that seem to want to do things for me and offer that masuline energy even though i now they are not straight. what you said resonates with how they have been treating me
Hey thank you so much for saying. I am planning to do one on men as well so make sure you subscribe and hit the bell for notifications, then you'll see it when it comes out. Much love x
Hello Mark. . Message number 2! LOL, As a bi man, do you ever feel like you cannot be completely true to a woman? I ask this because my dad was bi. Picture it. . 1954. He felt he had no options, but to marry a woman. So he married my mom. He couldn't be true to her, and cheated on her with men. When she found out she was so hurt. So, when I grew up, I never allowed myself to date women, because I didn't know if I could be totally true to a woman. So I have only dated men. However, I only date bi men. Because we have more in common than I do with gay men. . Now, before I found your channel, I assumed bi men dated women because it was easier (and for some, it might be) One doesn't have to hide a straight relationship. . Also, I wondered if these bi men wanted to have children too. . So, these men could hide in this straight relationship. Not worry about what the family thinks. What their coworkers think. What their friends think. . Now after watching your videos, I am not sure any of what I thought was true. Oh sure, I am sure there are some bi men who do hide in straight relationships, because they can't accept who they are, but I think mostly, men go with their dominate attraction. I think society has changed enough in the last 20 years to where most men can express who they are, without being judged. . I think that anyway. . Thanks for your videos, they have given me a lot to think about. And that is the point, right? -- Steven
It is indeed the point. I'm glad you are getting value from the content. I just speak from my experience and from what I learn from my work with many hundreds of people of all different identities. Yes there are definitely bi men who hide in straight relationships. Research shows that as many as one in two people in the world are actually somewhere on the spectrum of not 100% straight. However very few people actually identify as bisexual. So we know a lot of people are hiding in straight identities. The hope is that more and more acceptance is coming (a big part of why this channel exists) so that we don't have to hide anymore. That said, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that a bi man cannot be monogamous with a woman. No reason at all. Many are. I have been! Men in general are not faithful. Men of all orientations. It's just a misconception that bi men can't be. It's also quite damaging because many bi men are treated with suspicion which is not fair. Also many men say they're bi when they're actually gay, as a form of stepping stone. This further entrenches negative stereotypes about bi men being confused or in denial. Anyway, that's my take on it. What do you think? Would you like to date women at all? They're crazy by the way!! (haha just joking!!)
As a guy who is primarily attracted to men, I thought about how the statistics that nearly 80-90% of bisexuals are in a relationship with the opposite sex has made me think of privilege. That is, they are able to live more freely in a society that already deems that as the norm. It made me a bit envious honestly, but it seems like a plausible reason is because the dating pool is much larger for bisexual folks to meet a heterosexual individual they find attractive romantically and/or sexually. Then again, I believe I can be a bit envious since the area I reside is primarily not in fond of LGBTQ+ folks, so seeing so many relationships between a man and a woman has made me feel out of place. I am sorry if I am being rude about how I am envious, but I have never dated anyone as a 24 year old gay-leaning man and have tried engaging with other men at the gym (I love the gym and train very much to compete in powerlifting) or using a dating app (but many guys generally are out of shape or sexualize or flirt with me when they don't even want to know how I am in the first message). Sorry for the rant but I am just demoralized. Thanks for your content. I am happy for you on educating and being a positive role model for those who are bisexual or identity not on either end of the sexual spectrum.
@@1220MrCool Hey thanks for honestly sharing your experience. Authentic sharing and honesty is always accepted and never rude. How can your honest experience of what you feel not be ok? I completely understand what you're saying. It can be so hard for gay people or those who aren't able to have opposite sex relationships, especially in places that aren't accepting. Being bisexual can come with a certain amount of privilege for some people and we should all be aware and uplift the other parts of our community in their struggles. Definitely a lot of biphobia comes from a preconceived notion of jealousy that we get to "pass" in the straight world. This can happen with lots of different identities where some are deemed to be able to assimilate more easily into the dominant / oppressive class. The question is what do we do about this? The most important thing is for us all to be respectful and supportive to all parts of our community and recognise that we may have different challenges. I have experienced a lot of jealousy for gay people who have always known who they're attracted to, whose orientation has been known and stable their whole life, who have visible representation in the media and who get understood when they tell people their identity... ...for most bisexual people we have none of that. We live in a world of confusion, rejection, invisibility and misunderstanding. We get erased and never represented and ignored. So it's just different. If you are gay you are my family and I love you. We are all in this together and I will never stop fighting for our community's rights so that you can feel safe and confident in your life as you deserve. When we advocate for one, we advocate for all. Dating men can be tough as a man. There's lots of transactionality when we're not allowed to have healthy open relationships. I totally feel the words you're saying. Don't give up. You're going to find someone amazing. I know this. I promise. You deserve to be loved so much.
@@notdefining Thanks for sharing your reply! :) Yes, statistically I believe we have a higher percentage of gay folks represented in the media. It is unfortunate, and I believe it is because humans want few classifications to retain information. But that is not good generally speaking. For example, in statistics, if you were to take a continuous variable like human age, and classify it into several categories (e.g. 0-9, 10-19, 20-29, etc.) then we are losing information about the overall pattern amongst all ages. That is more desirable compared to saying "Oh, I am considered 0-9" years of age. It is analogous to sexuality. The Kinsey scale is great to numerically determine where one feels sexually. Classifications are great for easy to understand topics, but age and sexuality are not easy to classify amongst humans. Especially amongst other mammals like dogs (who have different age spans and varying sexualities). There is a bisexual individual represented in Sex Education (t.v. show) named Adam Groff. The actor does a very good job at representing his character and personality. Consider checking the show out! And I am very sorry on the biphobia being dispersed. I wish more individuals would critically think and take a step back to understand the comments they make. It is ridiculous at how illogical their "theories" are. You and other bisexuals are always welcome, and I just want to be supportive for you and everyone else. Again, I am sorry you have had to deal with other's insecurities and not processing bisexuality. Honestly I am trying to earn an offer and am in the middle of interviews in Chicago. I live in Indiana which is a very conservative area (Mike Pence state 😑), so I am hoping to move out there and be more involved with the LGBTQ+ community. As you said, respect and support are two fundamental elements that are important for the community and allies. That, to me, comes from communication and building trust. I wish you and your girlfriend (or partner, I apologize if I am wrong) the very best and sending you both hugs!
@@1220MrCool Thank you so much for your lovely supportive words and for contributing this helpful information. It is a privilege to have your comments on my channel and I think people will read it and gain a lot. Wishing you all the very best and please stay in touch. You are part of our community and I'm sending you so much love, Mark x
Love your videos. Just found your channel a few days ago. Being really struggling with my BIness lately. Never knew someone would have sucha similar experience about all of this. A bit of a tongue in cheek comment: You're basically describing lovely lady Taylor Swift... Yeah she's my ideal woman in a way too 😅🤫😉😁
Ive now watched both your video about what you find attractive about men and what you find attractive about women. When you talk about women it feels devoid of sexual attraction, more about their character and personality traits. When you talk about guys, your whole affect and animation come alive with joy and passion.
thats a tell tale sign that the video creator is on the low and using bisexuality to hide the truth about himself. he is literally one stop away from gay town.
Haha I will do a video on this soon. It's actually funnily enough exactly the same, just honestly replace the word woman with man. Precisely the same. I'm pansexual so yeah. haha
I made a comment about this just now but an individual comment in the section. Yeah pretty similar how he describes but not really helpful or detailed about either gender as to why / how / what real clear specifics. very RUclips G rated family safe wholesome unhelpful content.
@@notdefining It's not that my opinion of you would change, just curiosity. I actually know the answer from another video, lol. But I don't wanna post the spoiler.
I was really hoping that you could help me understand what is actually appealing about women and for most males overpoweringly desirable. and the sexual aspects of why they are so hot (for them) basically missing info and on how that is. On your (Man video) it was pretty much the same. You did not list almost anything about what makes MALES Sexy which is pretty much everything. It was so VAUGE as to not be helpful especially if a straight guy was to watch it. I'm a gay male so I understand internally but it may not help others. It seems a bisexual man is different from either 100% gay or straight with what he likes. the only thing I'd like to Improve with gay males is their general lack of interest in making a relationship and and lifelong love interaction possible with most of them.
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
What I like about a women are their caring,loving personalities who takes pride in her appearance not to mention the nice curvy bodies.
Can't argue with that. Love it.
I like strong, confident women and shy, emotional men 😅
Hey thanks so much for sharing this. Can you tell us more? These traits are so rarely talked about as attractive.
Hi Mark, I think it's because I like people with mixed traits. So the least attractive people for me are super sweet, almost submissive women and extremely masculine men who can't embrace their soft, emotional side. I also generally like who wears what they feel like wearing, independently from any gender convention.
Us
Same. ❤ Weird, but 🤷♀️
Why is it always like this I swear. Femboys and tomboys for life.
My partner/wife is very much a combination of the two, with different aspects manifesting at different times. For us, this makes for a keen, interesting, loving and wonderful partnership! Thank you so much for sharing! 💚
Hey thank you so much Rob for sharing this. I massively appreciate your comments on my videos. If you have time to post some more comments it helps me out so much. That’s so cool that you relate with what I’m saying and you have such a connection with your partner/wife. I’d really love to ask - how do you feel when you’re with her? Is there anything specific about females that you are attracted to specifically or does gender not play such a role. I’d love to know more as I’m so interested to hear your experiences. Thanks again my friend.
loved it,well explained. there are men in my life that seem to want to do things for me and offer that masuline energy even though i now they are not straight. what you said resonates with how they have been treating me
really good video! would love to see you do one about what you find attractive about men! love your channel ❤️
Hey thank you so much for saying. I am planning to do one on men as well so make sure you subscribe and hit the bell for notifications, then you'll see it when it comes out. Much love x
Hello Mark. . Message number 2! LOL, As a bi man, do you ever feel like you cannot be completely true to a woman? I ask this because my dad was bi. Picture it. . 1954. He felt he had no options, but to marry a woman. So he married my mom. He couldn't be true to her, and cheated on her with men. When she found out she was so hurt. So, when I grew up, I never allowed myself to date women, because I didn't know if I could be totally true to a woman. So I have only dated men. However, I only date bi men. Because we have more in common than I do with gay men. . Now, before I found your channel, I assumed bi men dated women because it was easier (and for some, it might be) One doesn't have to hide a straight relationship. . Also, I wondered if these bi men wanted to have children too. . So, these men could hide in this straight relationship. Not worry about what the family thinks. What their coworkers think. What their friends think. . Now after watching your videos, I am not sure any of what I thought was true. Oh sure, I am sure there are some bi men who do hide in straight relationships, because they can't accept who they are, but I think mostly, men go with their dominate attraction. I think society has changed enough in the last 20 years to where most men can express who they are, without being judged. . I think that anyway. . Thanks for your videos, they have given me a lot to think about. And that is the point, right? -- Steven
It is indeed the point. I'm glad you are getting value from the content. I just speak from my experience and from what I learn from my work with many hundreds of people of all different identities.
Yes there are definitely bi men who hide in straight relationships. Research shows that as many as one in two people in the world are actually somewhere on the spectrum of not 100% straight. However very few people actually identify as bisexual. So we know a lot of people are hiding in straight identities.
The hope is that more and more acceptance is coming (a big part of why this channel exists) so that we don't have to hide anymore.
That said, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that a bi man cannot be monogamous with a woman. No reason at all. Many are. I have been!
Men in general are not faithful. Men of all orientations. It's just a misconception that bi men can't be. It's also quite damaging because many bi men are treated with suspicion which is not fair.
Also many men say they're bi when they're actually gay, as a form of stepping stone. This further entrenches negative stereotypes about bi men being confused or in denial.
Anyway, that's my take on it. What do you think? Would you like to date women at all? They're crazy by the way!! (haha just joking!!)
As a guy who is primarily attracted to men, I thought about how the statistics that nearly 80-90% of bisexuals are in a relationship with the opposite sex has made me think of privilege. That is, they are able to live more freely in a society that already deems that as the norm. It made me a bit envious honestly, but it seems like a plausible reason is because the dating pool is much larger for bisexual folks to meet a heterosexual individual they find attractive romantically and/or sexually.
Then again, I believe I can be a bit envious since the area I reside is primarily not in fond of LGBTQ+ folks, so seeing so many relationships between a man and a woman has made me feel out of place. I am sorry if I am being rude about how I am envious, but I have never dated anyone as a 24 year old gay-leaning man and have tried engaging with other men at the gym (I love the gym and train very much to compete in powerlifting) or using a dating app (but many guys generally are out of shape or sexualize or flirt with me when they don't even want to know how I am in the first message).
Sorry for the rant but I am just demoralized.
Thanks for your content. I am happy for you on educating and being a positive role model for those who are bisexual or identity not on either end of the sexual spectrum.
@@1220MrCool Hey thanks for honestly sharing your experience. Authentic sharing and honesty is always accepted and never rude. How can your honest experience of what you feel not be ok?
I completely understand what you're saying. It can be so hard for gay people or those who aren't able to have opposite sex relationships, especially in places that aren't accepting.
Being bisexual can come with a certain amount of privilege for some people and we should all be aware and uplift the other parts of our community in their struggles.
Definitely a lot of biphobia comes from a preconceived notion of jealousy that we get to "pass" in the straight world. This can happen with lots of different identities where some are deemed to be able to assimilate more easily into the dominant / oppressive class.
The question is what do we do about this? The most important thing is for us all to be respectful and supportive to all parts of our community and recognise that we may have different challenges.
I have experienced a lot of jealousy for gay people who have always known who they're attracted to, whose orientation has been known and stable their whole life, who have visible representation in the media and who get understood when they tell people their identity...
...for most bisexual people we have none of that. We live in a world of confusion, rejection, invisibility and misunderstanding. We get erased and never represented and ignored.
So it's just different. If you are gay you are my family and I love you. We are all in this together and I will never stop fighting for our community's rights so that you can feel safe and confident in your life as you deserve.
When we advocate for one, we advocate for all.
Dating men can be tough as a man. There's lots of transactionality when we're not allowed to have healthy open relationships. I totally feel the words you're saying.
Don't give up. You're going to find someone amazing. I know this. I promise. You deserve to be loved so much.
@@notdefining Thanks for sharing your reply! :)
Yes, statistically I believe we have a higher percentage of gay folks represented in the media. It is unfortunate, and I believe it is because humans want few classifications to retain information. But that is not good generally speaking. For example, in statistics, if you were to take a continuous variable like human age, and classify it into several categories (e.g. 0-9, 10-19, 20-29, etc.) then we are losing information about the overall pattern amongst all ages. That is more desirable compared to saying "Oh, I am considered 0-9" years of age. It is analogous to sexuality. The Kinsey scale is great to numerically determine where one feels sexually. Classifications are great for easy to understand topics, but age and sexuality are not easy to classify amongst humans. Especially amongst other mammals like dogs (who have different age spans and varying sexualities).
There is a bisexual individual represented in Sex Education (t.v. show) named Adam Groff. The actor does a very good job at representing his character and personality. Consider checking the show out!
And I am very sorry on the biphobia being dispersed. I wish more individuals would critically think and take a step back to understand the comments they make. It is ridiculous at how illogical their "theories" are. You and other bisexuals are always welcome, and I just want to be supportive for you and everyone else. Again, I am sorry you have had to deal with other's insecurities and not processing bisexuality.
Honestly I am trying to earn an offer and am in the middle of interviews in Chicago. I live in Indiana which is a very conservative area (Mike Pence state 😑), so I am hoping to move out there and be more involved with the LGBTQ+ community.
As you said, respect and support are two fundamental elements that are important for the community and allies. That, to me, comes from communication and building trust. I wish you and your girlfriend (or partner, I apologize if I am wrong) the very best and sending you both hugs!
@@1220MrCool Thank you so much for your lovely supportive words and for contributing this helpful information. It is a privilege to have your comments on my channel and I think people will read it and gain a lot.
Wishing you all the very best and please stay in touch. You are part of our community and I'm sending you so much love, Mark x
Love your videos. Just found your channel a few days ago. Being really struggling with my BIness lately. Never knew someone would have sucha similar experience about all of this. A bit of a tongue in cheek comment: You're basically describing lovely lady Taylor Swift... Yeah she's my ideal woman in a way too 😅🤫😉😁
Thanks for your lovely comment. I’m so glad you’re finding it connects. Taylor swift yes. Omg. Wow. She’s is gorgeous.
Ive now watched both your video about what you find attractive about men and what you find attractive about women. When you talk about women it feels devoid of sexual attraction, more about their character and personality traits. When you talk about guys, your whole affect and animation come alive with joy and passion.
thats a tell tale sign that the video creator is on the low and using bisexuality to hide the truth about himself. he is literally one stop away from gay town.
I'm so happy that I'm a gay male, since I'm only attracted to men. 😃🖤👍
Love this. Yes it can be very confusing being bi so enjoy your monosexuality! Haha
@@notdefining I don't believe I'm monosexual. I have sex with many many many men. I'm this polyhomosexual gay male freak of nature. Hugs&xxx! 🖤😃👍
I'm proud ur gay bro👍 be proud ho u are bro👍 like
Tell us what you like about a guy
Haha I will do a video on this soon. It's actually funnily enough exactly the same, just honestly replace the word woman with man. Precisely the same. I'm pansexual so yeah. haha
I made a comment about this just now but an individual comment in the section. Yeah pretty similar how he describes but not really helpful or detailed about either gender as to why / how / what real clear specifics. very RUclips G rated family safe wholesome unhelpful content.
Lol what he likes about women is when they are sometimes mean 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Check. 😂 lol
Absolutely. I love that. Mean in a cheeky way 🐥
Can you do this for guys too
You are in luck my friend! A bi guy explains: what I like about men
ruclips.net/video/U5lIacq0aZ0/видео.html
We see your wedding ring. Now you have a responsibility to tell us curious people who are you married to. A man or a woman?
He does not owe anyone / have a responsibility to do anything.
I agree I’m curious as well
How would that change your opinion of me?
OMG thanks for this. LOVE x
@@notdefining It's not that my opinion of you would change, just curiosity. I actually know the answer from another video, lol. But I don't wanna post the spoiler.
I was really hoping that you could help me understand what is actually appealing about women and for most males overpoweringly desirable. and the sexual aspects of why they are so hot (for them) basically missing info and on how that is. On your (Man video) it was pretty much the same. You did not list almost anything about what makes MALES Sexy which is pretty much everything. It was so VAUGE as to not be helpful especially if a straight guy was to watch it. I'm a gay male so I understand internally but it may not help others. It seems a bisexual man is different from either 100% gay or straight with what he likes. the only thing I'd like to Improve with gay males is their general lack of interest in making a relationship and and lifelong love interaction possible with most of them.