I wouldn't say a people pleaser per se, but I have a hard time feeling obligated to help my mother and 3 adopted brothers. Like most people my age I was raised by a single mother and have never had a great relationship with her. I now live 90 minutes away from her and do not see her very often, but feel like I should. I am torn between wanting to make my wife happy and making sure my mother is ok.
I think I'm a recovering people pleaser. Lol. It's still something I struggle with. This episode made me think about why I try to please. What's the end game? Sometimes I people please because I don't want to rock the boat, certain situations aren't worth the argument. This episode is very thought-provoking. What do WE (the people pleasers) hope to gain from the pleasing?? Accolades? Respect? Love?
Maybe it’s not a bad thing to people please we are here to share that love but instead of simplifying on who decide to please and call it minimalist pleasing lol 😝
Caregivers is a term from a medical perspective that is currently changing. Most places do not say caregiving, because it implies intimacy dependency, and a “mother knows best” approach. The better 😊terminology is “direct support“
As TK stated, I lived with great anxiety during my marriage. I married a family friend because I could not say no. My family boycotted the wedding and shamed me for ruining the family name. In Asian culture, marrying a divorced woman is frowned upon. To be nice to my family, I sent them money. My family treated me with contempt. Two years later, the marriage ended. I also terminated the relationship with my family. My family has reached out to me repeatedly over the years, but when I meet or talk to them, a hot wash of shame washes over me. Immediately, the shame turns into anger at me for being too nice to them.
I used to constantly shop for clothes to look nice in my insta photos - what a waste! I do still struggle with staying in luxurious hotels to ‘people please’ Aka show off on social media. It’s honestly shameful!!
You guys just once again expanded my consciousness thank you I am such a people please I love people all kinds and when I run into people who are not Vibing me it gets me down so much! Like I need to stop caring so much and focus on the ones that I do connect with and focus my thoughts on positive energy on those people who instead are trying to share the same thing I am trying to find that connection that community!
People pleasing drains your soul , I have learned just let it go you will be surprised on how freeing that is. I have done that since , I found mimilsm because guess what fill your cup first and then let everything else just flow . I am so better off since, I found you guys. Keep on keeping on.
People pleasing is the real reason behind consumerism. Just think about the real reason someone will buy a 5/6 bedroom house. It's not because they need it but because they want to impress friends and family.
In what ways are you a people-pleaser?
I wouldn't say a people pleaser per se, but I have a hard time feeling obligated to help my mother and 3 adopted brothers. Like most people my age I was raised by a single mother and have never had a great relationship with her. I now live 90 minutes away from her and do not see her very often, but feel like I should. I am torn between wanting to make my wife happy and making sure my mother is ok.
@@joshuatall8134 you are between a rock and a hard place, thats very stressful as you have to end up disappointing one person
I'm a PhD student. The only one I'm interested in pleasing is the professor I work for. But it's almost an obsession.
@@joshuatall8134Balance is the key, when managing multiple responsibilities.
@@me0101001000 Perfectly healthy to strive for success!
T.K is so wise
I think I'm a recovering people pleaser. Lol. It's still something I struggle with. This episode made me think about why I try to please. What's the end game? Sometimes I people please because I don't want to rock the boat, certain situations aren't worth the argument. This episode is very thought-provoking. What do WE (the people pleasers) hope to gain from the pleasing?? Accolades? Respect? Love?
Maybe it’s not a bad thing to people please we are here to share that love but instead of simplifying on who decide to please and call it minimalist pleasing lol 😝
Man, I love TK. So glad you brought him on.
Caregivers is a term from a medical perspective that is currently changing. Most places do not say caregiving, because it implies intimacy dependency, and a “mother knows best” approach. The better 😊terminology is “direct support“
The context for the word, "Caregiver" used in the question seems to be from a codependency perspective.
i have retired from trying to make anyone else happy. i am my priority and i will never ever give up on myself again.
'game of social chess' TK excellent as always 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
Excellent Wisdom!
As TK stated, I lived with great anxiety during my marriage. I married a family friend because I could not say no. My family boycotted the wedding and shamed me for ruining the family name. In Asian culture, marrying a divorced woman is frowned upon. To be nice to my family, I sent them money. My family treated me with contempt. Two years later, the marriage ended. I also terminated the relationship with my family. My family has reached out to me repeatedly over the years, but when I meet or talk to them, a hot wash of shame washes over me. Immediately, the shame turns into anger at me for being too nice to them.
Wow. There is a ton of wisdom and excellent advice in these seven minutes.
Thank you!
So so so true! Exactly how I am freeing myslef. Not easy but I'm getting better!
I used to constantly shop for clothes to look nice in my insta photos - what a waste!
I do still struggle with staying in luxurious hotels to ‘people please’ Aka show off on social media. It’s honestly shameful!!
@Lindsey George family and friends. I want to show then I am doing well for myself.
Another well articulated answer from TK. Always appreciated. Thank you.
You guys just once again expanded my consciousness thank you I am such a people please I love people all kinds and when I run into people who are not Vibing me it gets me down so much! Like I need to stop caring so much and focus on the ones that I do connect with and focus my thoughts on positive energy on those people who instead are trying to share the same thing I am trying to find that connection that community!
People pleasing drains your soul , I have learned just let it go you will be surprised on how freeing that is. I have done that since , I found mimilsm because guess what fill your cup first and then let everything else just flow . I am so better off since, I found you guys. Keep on keeping on.
Not saying don't help others or give but just watch who you bring into your life. Because time is precious.
This is great information! Thank you!
I wish that you have long life over 120 years
Needed this thank you ❤
Mind blown 🤯
People pleasing is the real reason behind consumerism. Just think about the real reason someone will buy a 5/6 bedroom house. It's not because they need it but because they want to impress friends and family.